Part9
Shewassittingbroodingoverherfireaboutteno’clockthatnightwhenasealedandregisteredenvelopewasbroughtuptoher。
Sheopeneditanddrewoutaletter，andfoldedwithinitwerethenotesshehadsentofftoRamagethatday。Theletterbegan:
\"MYDEARESTGIRL，——Icannotletyoudothisfoolishthing——\"
Shecrumplednotesandlettertogetherinherhand，andthenwithapassionategestureflungthemintothefire。Instantlysheseizedthepokerandmadeadesperateefforttogetthemoutagain。Butshewasonlyabletosaveacorneroftheletter。
Thetwentypoundsburnedwithavidity。
Sheremainedforsomesecondscrouchingatthefender，pokerinhand。
\"ByJove！\"shesaid，standingupatlast，\"thataboutfinishesit，AnnVeronica！\"
CHAPTERTHETENTH
THESUFFRAGETTES
Part1
\"Thereisonlyonewayoutofallthis，\"saidAnnVeronica，sittingupinherlittlebedinthedarknessandbitingathernails。
\"IthoughtIwasjustupagainstMorningsideParkandfather，butit’sthewholeorderofthings——thewholeblessedorderofthings……\"
Sheshivered。Shefrownedandgrippedherhandsaboutherkneesverytightly。Herminddevelopedintosavagewrathatthepresentconditionsofawoman’slife。
\"Isupposealllifeisanaffairofchances。Butawoman’slifeisallchance。It’sartificiallychance。Findyourman，that’stherule。Alltherestishumbuganddelicacy。He’sthehandleoflifeforyou。Hewillletyouliveifitpleaseshim……
\"Can’titbealtered？
\"Isupposeanactressisfree？……\"
Shetriedtothinkofsomealteredstateofaffairsinwhichthesemonstrouslimitationswouldbealleviated，inwhichwomenwouldstandontheirownfeetinequalcitizenshipwithmen。ForatimeshebroodedontheidealsandsuggestionsoftheSocialists，onthevagueintimationsofanEndowmentofMotherhood，ofacompleterelaxationofthatintenseindividualdependenceforwomenwhichiswovenintotheexistingsocialorder。Atthebackofhermindthereseemedalwaysoneirrelevantqualifyingspectatorwhosepresenceshesoughttodisregard。Shewouldnotlookathim，wouldnotthinkofhim；
whenhermindwavered，thenshemutteredtoherselfinthedarknesssoastokeepholdofhergeneralizations。
\"Itistrue。Itisnogoodwaivingthething；itistrue。
Unlesswomenarenevertobefree，nevertobeevenrespected，theremustbeagenerationofmartyrs……Whyshouldn’twebemartyrs？There’snothingelseformostofus，anyhow。It’sasortofblackleggingtowanttohavealifeofone’sown……\"
Sherepeated，asifsheansweredanobjector:\"Asortofblacklegging。
\"Asexofblackleggingclients。\"
Herminddivergedtootheraspects，andanothertypeofwomanhood。
\"PoorlittleMiniver！Whatcanshebebutwhatsheis？……
Becauseshestateshercaseinatangle，dragsitthroughswampsofnonsense，itdoesn’talterthefactthatsheisright。\"
ThatphraseaboutdraggingthetruththroughswampsofnonsensesherememberedfromCapes。Attherecollectionthatitwashis，sheseemedtofallthroughathinsurface，asonemightfallthroughthecrustofalavaintoglowingdepths。ShewallowedforatimeinthethoughtofCapes，unabletoescapefromhisimageandtheideaofhispresenceinherlife。
ShelethermindrunintodreamsofthatcloudparadiseofanalteredworldinwhichtheGoopesandMinivers，theFabiansandreformingpeoplebelieved。Acrossthatworldwaswritteninlettersoflight，\"EndowmentofMotherhood。\"Supposeinsomecomplexyetconceivablewaywomenwereendowed，werenolongereconomicallyandsociallydependentonmen。\"Ifonewasfree，\"
shesaid，\"onecouldgotohim……Thisvilehoveringtocatchaman’seye！……Onecouldgotohimandtellhimonelovedhim。Iwanttolovehim。Alittlelovefromhimwouldbeenough。Itwouldhurtnoone。Itwouldnotburdenhimwithanyobligation。\"
Shegroanedaloudandbowedherforeheadtoherknees。Shefloundereddeep。Shewantedtokisshisfeet。Hisfeetwouldhavethefirmtextureofhishands。
Thensuddenlyherspiritroseinrevolt。\"Iwillnothavethisslavery，\"shesaid。\"Iwillnothavethisslavery。\"
Sheshookherfistceilingward。\"Doyouhear！\"shesaid\"whateveryouare，whereveryouare！Iwillnotbeslavetothethoughtofanyman，slavetothecustomsofanytime。Confoundthisslaveryofsex！Iamaman！IwillgetthisunderifIamkilledindoingit！\"
Shescowledintothecoldblacknessesabouther。
\"Manning，\"shesaid，andcontemplatedafigureofinaggressivepersistence。\"No！\"Herthoughtshadturnedinanewdirection。
\"Itdoesn’tmatter，\"shesaid，afteralonginterval，\"iftheyareabsurd。Theymeansomething。Theymeaneverythingthatwomencanmean——exceptsubmission。Thevoteisonlythebeginning，thenecessarybeginning。Ifwedonotbegin——\"
Shehadcometoaresolution。Abruptlyshegotoutofbed，smoothedhersheetandstraightenedherpillowandlaydown，andfellalmostinstantlyasleep。
Part2
Thenextmorningwasasdarkandfoggyasifitwasmid-NovemberinsteadofearlyMarch。AnnVeronicawokeratherlaterthanusual，andlayawakeforsomeminutesbeforesherememberedacertainresolutionshehadtakeninthesmallhours。Theninstantlyshegotoutofbedandproceededtodress。
ShedidnotstartfortheImperialCollege。ShespentthemorninguptoteninwritingaseriesofunsuccessfulletterstoRamage，whichshetoreupunfinished；andfinallyshedesistedandputonherjacketandwentoutintothelamp-litobscurityandslimystreets。Sheturnedaresolutefacesouthward。
ShefollowedOxfordStreetintoHolborn，andthensheinquiredforChanceryLane。Thereshesoughtandatlastfound107A，oneofthoseheterogeneouspilesofofficeswhichoccupytheeasternsideofthelane。Shestudiedthepaintednamesoffirmsandpersonsandenterprisesonthewall，anddiscoveredthattheWomen’sBondofFreedomoccupiedseveralcontiguoussuitesonthefirstfloor。Shewentup-stairsandhesitatedbetweenfourdoorswithground-glasspanes，eachofwhichprofessed\"TheWomen’sBondofFreedom\"inneatblackletters。Sheopenedoneandfoundherselfinalargeuntidyroomsetwithchairsthatwerealittledisarrangedasifbyanovernightmeeting。Onthewallswerenotice-boardsbearingclustersofnewspaperslips，threeorfourbigpostersofmonstermeetings，oneofwhichAnnVeronicahadattendedwithMissMiniver，andaseriesofannouncementsinpurplecopying-ink，andinonecornerwasapileofbanners。
Therewasnooneatallinthisroom，butthroughthehalf-opendoorofoneofthesmallapartmentsthatgaveuponitshehadaglimpseoftwoveryyounggirlssittingatalitteredtableandwritingbriskly。
Shewalkedacrosstothisapartmentand，openingthedooralittlewider，discoveredapresssectionofthemovementatwork。
\"Iwanttoinquire，\"saidAnnVeronica。
\"Nextdoor，\"saidaspectacledyoungpersonofseventeenoreighteen，withanimpatientindicationofthedirection。
IntheadjacentapartmentAnnVeronicafoundamiddle-agedwomanwithatiredfaceunderthetiredhatshewore，sittingatadeskopeningletterswhileadusky，untidygirlofeight-ornine-and-twentyhammeredindustriouslyatatypewriter。ThetiredwomanlookedupininquiringsilenceatAnnVeronica’sdiffidententry。
\"Iwanttoknowmoreaboutthismovement，\"saidAnnVeronica。
\"Areyouwithus？\"saidthetiredwoman。
\"Idon’tknow，\"saidAnnVeronica；\"IthinkIam。Iwantverymuchtodosomethingforwomen。ButIwanttoknowwhatyouaredoing。\"
Thetiredwomansatstillforamoment。\"Youhaven’tcomeheretomakealotofdifficulties？\"sheasked。
\"No，\"saidAnnVeronica，\"butIwanttoknow。\"
Thetiredwomanshuthereyestightlyforamoment，andthenlookedwiththematAnnVeronica。\"Whatcanyoudo？\"sheasked。
\"Do？\"
\"Areyoupreparedtodothingsforus？Distributebills？Writeletters？Interruptmeetings？Canvassatelections？Facedangers？\"
\"IfIamsatisfied——\"
\"Ifwesatisfyyou？\"
\"Then，ifpossible，Iwouldliketogotoprison。\"
\"Itisn’tnicegoingtoprison。\"
\"Itwouldsuitme。\"
\"Itisn’tnicegettingthere。\"
\"That’saquestionofdetail，\"saidAnnVeronica。
Thetiredwomanlookedquietlyather。\"Whatareyourobjections？\"shesaid。
\"Itisn’tobjectionsexactly。Iwanttoknowwhatyouaredoing；
howyouthinkthisworkofyoursreallydoesservewomen。\"
\"Weareworkingfortheequalcitizenshipofmenandwomen，\"saidthetiredwoman。\"Womenhavebeenandaretreatedastheinferiorsofmen，wewanttomakethemtheirequals。\"
\"Yes，\"saidAnnVeronica，\"Iagreetothat。But——\"
Thetiredwomanraisedhereyebrowsinmildprotest。
\"Isn’tthequestionmorecomplicatedthanthat？\"saidAnnVeronica。
\"YoucouldhaveatalktoMissKittyBrettthisafternoon，ifyouliked。ShallImakeanappointmentforyou？\"
MissKittyBrettwasoneofthemostconspicuousleadersofthemovement。AnnVeronicasnatchedattheopportunity，andspentmostoftheinterveningtimeintheAssyrianCourtoftheBritishMuseum，readingandthinkingoveralittlebookuponthefeministmovementthetiredwomanhadmadeherbuy。Shegotabunandsomecocoainthelittlerefreshment-room，andthenwanderedthroughthegalleriesup-stairs，crowdedwithPolynesianidolsandPolynesiandancing-garments，andallthesimpleimmodestaccessoriestolifeinPolynesia，toaseatamongthemummies。
Shewastryingtobringherproblemstoahead，andhermindinsisteduponbeingevenmorediscursiveandatmosphericthanusual。Itgeneralizedeverythingsheputtoit。
\"Whyshouldwomenbedependentonmen？\"sheasked；andthequestionwasatonceconvertedintoasystemofvariationsuponthethemeof\"Whyarethingsastheyare？\"——\"Whyarehumanbeingsviviparous？\"——\"Whyarepeoplehungrythriceaday？\"——\"Whydoesonefaintatdanger？\"
Shestoodforatimelookingatthedrylimbsandstillhumanfaceofthatdesiccatedunwrappedmummyfromtheverybeginningsofsociallife。Itlookedverypatient，shethought，andalittleself-satisfied。Itlookedasifithadtakenitsworldforgrantedandprosperedonthatassumption——aworldinwhichchildrenweretrainedtoobeytheireldersandthewillsofwomenover-ruledasamatterofcourse。Itwaswonderfultothinkthisthinghadlived，hadfeltandsuffered。Perhapsonceithaddesiredsomeotherhumanbeingintolerably。Perhapssomeonehadkissedthebrowthatwasnowsocadaverous，rubbedthatsunkencheekwithlovingfingers，heldthatstringyneckwithpassionatelylivinghands。Butallofthatwasforgotten。\"Intheend，\"itseemedtobethinking，\"theyembalmedmewiththeutmostrespect——soundspiceschosentoendure——thebest！ItookmyworldasIfoundit。THINGSARESO！\"
Part3
AnnVeronica’sfirstimpressionofKittyBrettwasthatshewasaggressiveanddisagreeable；hernextthatshewasapersonofamazingpersuasivepower。Shewasperhapsthree-and-twenty，andverypinkandhealthy-looking，showingagreatdealofwhiteandroundedneckaboveherbusiness-likebutaltogetherfeminineblouse，andagooddealofplump，gesticulatingforearmoutofhershortsleeve。Shehadanimateddarkblue-grayeyesunderherfineeyebrows，anddarkbrownhairthatrolledbacksimplyandeffectivelyfromherbroadlowforehead。Andshewasaboutascapableofintelligentargumentasarunawaysteam-roller。Shewasatrainedbeing——trainedbyanimplacablemothertooneend。
Shespokewithfluententhusiasm。ShedidnotsomuchdealwithAnnVeronica’sinterpolationsasdisposeofthemwithquickanduse-hardenedrepartee，andthenshewentonwithafinedirectnesstosketchthecaseforheragitation，forthatremarkablerebellionofthewomenthatwasthenagitatingthewholeworldofpoliticsanddiscussion。SheassumedwithakindofmesmericforceallthepropositionsthatAnnVeronicawantedhertodefine。
\"Whatdowewant？Whatisthegoal？\"askedAnnVeronica。
\"Freedom！Citizenship！Andthewaytothat——thewaytoeverything——istheVote。\"
AnnVeronicasaidsomethingaboutageneralchangeofideas。
\"Howcanyouchangepeople’sideasifyouhavenopower？\"saidKittyBrett。
AnnVeronicawasnotreadyenoughtodealwiththatcounter-stroke。
\"Onedoesn’twanttoturnthewholethingintoameresexantagonism。\"
\"Whenwomengetjustice，\"saidKittyBrett，\"therewillbenosexantagonism。Noneatall。Untilthenwemeantokeeponhammeringaway。\"
\"Itseemstomethatmuchofawoman’sdifficultiesareeconomic。\"
\"Thatwillfollow，\"saidKittyBrett——\"thatwillfollow。\"
SheinterruptedasAnnVeronicawasabouttospeakagain，withabrightcontagioushopefulness。\"Everythingwillfollow，\"shesaid。
\"Yes，\"saidAnnVeronica，tryingtothinkwheretheywere，tryingtogetthingsplainagainthathadseemedplainenoughinthequietofthenight。
\"Nothingwaseverdone，\"MissBrettasserted，\"withoutacertainelementofFaith。AfterwehavegottheVoteandarerecognizedascitizens，thenwecancometoalltheseotherthings。\"
EvenintheglamourofMissBrett’sassuranceitseemedtoAnnVeronicathatthiswas，afterall，nomorethanthegospelofMissMiniverwithanewsetofresonances。Andlikethatgospelitmeantsomething，somethingdifferentfromitsphrases，somethingelusive，andyetsomethingthatinspiteofthesuperficialincoherenceofitsphrasing，waslargelyessentiallytrue。Therewassomethingholdingwomendown，holdingwomenback，andifitwasn’texactlyman-madelaw，man-madelawwasanaspectofit。Therewassomethingindeedholdingthewholespeciesbackfromtheimaginablelargenessoflife……
\"TheVoteisthesymbolofeverything，\"saidMissBrett。
Shemadeanabruptpersonalappeal。
\"Oh！pleasedon’tloseyourselfinawildernessofsecondaryconsiderations，\"shesaid。\"Don’taskmetotellyouallthatwomencando，allthatwomencanbe。Thereisanewlife，differentfromtheoldlifeofdependence，possible。Ifonlywearenotdivided。Ifonlyweworktogether。Thisistheonemovementthatbringswomenofdifferentclassestogetherforacommonpurpose。Ifyoucouldseehowitgivesthemsouls，womenwhohavetakenthingsforgranted，whohavegiventhemselvesupaltogethertopettinessandvanity……\"
\"Givemesomethingtodo，\"saidAnnVeronica，interruptingherpersuasionsatlast。\"Ithasbeenverykindofyoutoseeme，butIdon’twanttositandtalkanduseyourtimeanylonger。I
wanttodosomething。Iwanttohammermyselfagainstallthisthatpenswomenin。IfeelthatIshallstifleunlessIcandosomething——anddosomethingsoon。\"
Part4
ItwasnotAnnVeronica’sfaultthatthenight’sworkshouldhavetakenuponitselftheformsofwildburlesque。Shewasindeadlyearnestineverythingshedid。Itseemedtoherthelastdesperateattackupontheuniversethatwouldnotletherliveasshedesiredtolive，thatpennedherinandcontrolledheranddirectedheranddisapprovedofher，thesameinvinciblewrappering，thesameleadentyrannyofauniversethatshehadvowedtoovercomeafterthatmemorableconflictwithherfatheratMorningsidePark。
Shewaslistedfortheraid——shewasinformeditwastobearaidupontheHouseofCommons，thoughnoparticularsweregivenher——andtoldtogoaloneto14，DexterStreet，Westminster，andnottoaskanypolicemantodirecther。14，DexterStreet，Westminster，shefoundwasnotahousebutayardinanobscurestreet，withbiggatesandthenameofPodgers&Carlo，CarriersandFurnitureRemovers，thereon。Shewasperplexedbythis，andstoodforsomesecondsintheemptystreethesitating，untiltheappearanceofanothercircumspectwomanunderthestreetlampatthecornerreassuredher。Inoneofthebiggateswasalittledoor，andsherappedatthis。Itwasimmediatelyopenedbyamanwithlighteyelashesandamannersuggestiveofrestrainedpassion。\"Comerightin，\"hehissedunderhisbreath，withthetrueconspirator’snote，closedthedoorverysoftlyandpointed，\"Throughthere！\"
Bythemeagrelightofagaslampsheperceivedacobbledyardwithfourlargefurniturevansstandingwithhorsesandlampsalight。Aslenderyoungman，wearingglasses，appearedfromtheshadowofthenearestvan。\"AreyouA，B，C，orD？\"heasked。
\"TheytoldmeD，\"saidAnnVeronica。
\"Throughthere，\"hesaid，andpointedwiththepamphlethewascarrying。
AnnVeronicafoundherselfinalittlestirringcrowdofexcitedwomen，whisperingandtitteringandspeakinginundertones。
Thelightwaspoor，sothatshesawtheirgleamingfacesdimlyandindistinctly。Noonespoketoher。Shestoodamongthem，watchingthemandfeelingcuriouslyalientothem。Theobliqueruddylightingdistortedthemoddly，madequeerbarsandpatchesofshadowupontheirclothes。\"It’sKitty’sidea，\"saidone，\"wearetogointhevans。\"
\"Kittyiswonderful，\"saidanother。
\"Wonderful！\"
\"Ihavealwayslongedforprisonservice，\"saidavoice，\"always。
Fromthebeginning。Butit’sonlynowI’mabletodoit。\"
Alittleblondcreaturecloseathandsuddenlygavewaytoafitofhystericallaughter，andcaughtuptheendofitwithasob。
\"BeforeItookuptheSuffrage，\"afirm，flatvoiceremarked，\"I
couldscarcelywalkup-stairswithoutpalpitations。\"
SomeonehiddenfromAnnVeronicaappearedtobemarshallingtheassembly。\"Wehavetogetin，Ithink，\"saidanicelittleoldladyinabonnettoAnnVeronica，speakingwithavoicethatquaveredalittle。\"Mydear，canyouseeinthislight？IthinkIwouldliketogetin。WhichisC？\"
AnnVeronica，withacurioussinkingoftheheart，regardedtheblackcavitiesofthevans。Theirdoorsstoodopen，andplacardswithbiglettersindicatedthesectionassignedtoeach。ShedirectedthelittleoldwomanandthenmadeherwaytovanD。A
youngwomanwithawhitebadgeonherarmstoodandcountedthesectionsastheyenteredtheirvans。
\"Whentheytaptheroof，\"shesaid，inavoiceofauthority，\"youaretocomeout。YouwillbeoppositethebigentranceinOldPalaceYard。It’sthepublicentrance。Youaretomakeforthatandgetintothelobbyifyoucan，andsotryandreachtheflooroftheHouse，crying’VotesforWomen！’asyougo。\"
Shespokelikeamistressaddressingschool-children。
\"Don’tbunchtoomuchasyoucomeout，\"sheadded。
\"Allright？\"askedthemanwiththelighteyelashes，suddenlyappearinginthedoorway。Hewaitedforaninstant，wastinganencouragingsmileintheimperfectlight，andthenshutthedoorsofthevan，leavingthewomenindarkness……
Thevanstartedwithajerkandrumbledonitsway。
\"It’slikeTroy！\"saidavoiceofrapture。\"It’sexactlylikeTroy！\"
Part5
SoAnnVeronica，enterprisingandalittledubiousasever，mingledwiththestreamofhistoryandwroteherChristiannameuponthepolice-courtrecordsoftheland。
Butoutofabelatedregardforherfathershewrotethesurnameofsomeoneelse。
Someday，whentherewardsofliteraturepermitthearduousresearchrequired，theCampaignoftheWomenwillfinditsCarlyle，andtheparticularsofthatmarvellousseriesofexploitsbywhichMissBrettandhercolleaguesnaggedthewholeWesternworldintothediscussionofwomen’spositionbecomethematerialforthemostdelightfulandamazingdescriptions。Atpresenttheworldwaitsforthatwriter，andtheconfusedrecordofthenewspapersremainstheonlyresourceofthecurious。Whenhecomeshewilldothatraidofthepantechniconsthejusticeitdeserves；hewillpicturetheorderlyeveningsceneabouttheImperialLegislatureinconvincingdetail，thecomingandgoingofcabsandmotor-cabsandbroughamsthroughthechill，dampeveningintoNewPalaceYard，thereinforcedbutuntroubledandunsuspectingpoliceabouttheentriesofthosegreatbuildingswhosesquareandpanelledVictorianGothicstreamsupfromtheglareofthelampsintothemurkinessofthenight；BigBenshiningoverhead，anunassailablebeacon，andtheincidentaltrafficofWestminster，cabs，carts，andglowingomnibusesgoingtoandfromthebridge。AbouttheAbbeyandAbingdonStreetstoodtheouterpicketsanddetachmentsofthepolice，theirattentionalldirectedwestwardtowherethewomeninCaxtonHall，Westminster，hummedlikeanangryhive。Squadsreachedtotheveryportalofthatcentreofdisturbance。AndthroughallthesedefencesandintoOldPalaceYard，intotheveryvitalsofthedefenders’position，lumberedtheunsuspectedvans。
TheytravelledpastthefewidlesightseerswhohadbravedtheuninvitingeveningtoseewhattheSuffragettesmightbedoing；
theypulledupunchallengedwithinthirtyyardsofthosecovetedportals。
Andthentheydisgorged。
WereIapainterofsubjectpictures，Iwouldexhaustallmyskillinproportionandperspectiveandatmosphereupontheaugustseatofempire，Iwouldpresentitgrayanddignifiedandimmenseandrespectablebeyondanymereverbaldescription，andthen，invividblackandverysmall，Iwouldputinthosevaliantlyimpertinentvans，squattingatthebaseofitsaltitudesandpouringoutaswift，stragglingrushofominouslittleblackobjects，minutefiguresofdeterminedwomenatwarwiththeuniverse。
AnnVeronicawasintheirveryforefront。
InaninstanttheexpectantcalmofWestminsterwasended，andtheverySpeakerinthechairblenchedatthesoundofthepolicemen’swhistles。TheboldermembersintheHouselefttheirplacestogolobbyward，grinning。Otherspulledhatsovertheirnoses，coweredintheirseats，andfeignedthatallwasrightwiththeworld。InOldPalaceYardeverybodyran。Theyeitherrantoseeorranforshelter。EventwoCabinetMinisterstooktotheirheels，grinninginsincerely。AttheopeningofthevandoorsandtheemergenceintothefreshairAnnVeronica’sdoubtanddepressiongaveplacetothewildestexhilaration。Thatsameadventurousnessthathadalreadybuoyedherthroughcrisesthatwouldhaveoverwhelmedanynormallyfemininegirlwithshameandhorrornowbecameuppermostagain。BeforeherwasagreatGothicportal。Throughthatshehadtogo。
Pasthershotthelittleoldladyinthebonnet，runningincrediblyfast，butotherwisestillalertlyrespectable，andshewasmakingastrangethreateningsoundassheran，suchasonewoulduseindrivingducksoutofagarden——\"B-r-r-r-r-r——！\"andpawingwithblack-glovedhands。Thepolicemenwereclosinginfromthesidestointervene。Thelittleoldladystrucklikeaprojectileupontheresoundingchestoftheforemostofthese，andthenAnnVeronicahadgotpastandwasascendingthesteps。
Thenmosthorriblyshewasclaspedaboutthewaistfrombehindandliftedfromtheground。
Atthatanewelementpouredintoherexcitement，anelementofwilddisgustandterror。Shehadneverexperiencedanythingsodisagreeableinherlifeasthesenseofbeingheldhelplesslyoffherfeet。Shescreamedinvoluntarily——shehadneverinherlifescreamedbefore——andthenshebegantowriggleandfightlikeafrightenedanimalagainstthemenwhowereholdingher。
Theaffairpassedatoneleapfromaspreetoanightmareofviolenceanddisgust。Herhairgotloose，herhatcameoveroneeye，andshehadnoarmfreetoreplaceit。Shefeltshemustsuffocateifthesemendidnotputherdown，andforatimetheywouldnotputherdown。Thenwithanindescribablereliefherfeetwereonthepavement，andshewasbeingurgedalongbytwopolicemen，whoweregrippingherwristsinanirresistibleexpertmanner。Shewaswrithingtogetherhandslooseandfoundherselfgaspingwithpassionateviolence，\"It’sdamnable！——damnable！\"tothemanifestdisgustofthefatherlypolicemanonherright。
Thentheyhadreleasedherarmsandweretryingtopushheraway。
\"Youbeoff，missie，\"saidthefatherlypoliceman。\"Thisain’tnoplaceforyou。\"
Hepushedheradozenyardsalongthegreasypavementwithflat，well-trainedhandsthatthereseemedtobenoopposing。Beforeherstretchedblankspaces，dottedwithrunningpeoplecomingtowardher，andbelowthemrailingsandastatue。Shealmostsubmittedtothisendingofheradventure。Butattheword\"home\"sheturnedagain。
\"Iwon’tgohome，\"shesaid；\"Iwon’t！\"andsheevadedtheclutchofthefatherlypolicemanandtriedtothrustherselfpasthiminthedirectionofthatbigportal。\"Steadyon！\"hecried。
Adiversionwascreatedbytheviolentstrugglesofthelittleoldlady。Sheseemedtobeendowedwithsuperhumanstrength。A
knotofthreepolicemeninconflictwithherstaggeredtowardAnnVeronica’sattendantsanddistractedtheirattention。\"IWILLbearrested！IWON’Tgohome！\"thelittleoldladywasscreamingoverandoveragain。Theyputherdown，andsheleapedatthem；
shesmoteahelmettotheground。
\"You’llhavetotakeher！\"shoutedaninspectoronhorseback，andsheechoedhiscry:\"You’llhavetotakeme！\"Theyseizeduponherandliftedher，andshescreamed。AnnVeronicabecameviolentlyexcitedatthesight。\"Youcowards！\"saidAnnVeronica，\"putherdown！\"andtoreherselffromadetaininghandandbatteredwithherfistsuponthebigredearandblueshoulderofthepolicemanwhoheldthelittleoldlady。
SoAnnVeronicaalsowasarrested。
Andthencamethevileexperienceofbeingforcedandbornealongthestreettothepolice-station。WhateveranticipationAnnVeronicahadformedofthisvanishedinthereality。Presentlyshewasgoingthroughaswaying，noisycrowd，whosefacesgrinnedandstaredpitilesslyinthelightoftheelectricstandards。
\"Goit，miss！\"criedone。\"Kickahtat’em！\"though，indeed，shewentnowwithChristianmeekness，resentingonlythethrustingpolicemen’shands。Severalpeopleinthecrowdseemedtobefighting。Insultingcriesbecamefrequentandvarious，butforthemostpartshecouldnotunderstandwhatwassaid。\"Who’llmindthebabynar？\"wasoneofthenight’sinspirations，andveryfrequent。Aleanyoungmaninspectaclespursuedherforsometime，crying\"Courage！Courage！\"Somebodythrewadabofmudather，andsomeofitgotdownherneck。Immeasurabledisgustpossessedher。Shefeltdraggledandinsultedbeyondredemption。
Shecouldnothideherface。Sheattemptedbyasheeractofwilltoendthescene，towillherselfoutofitanywhere。Shehadahorribleglimpseoftheoncenicelittleoldladybeingalsobornestationward，stillfaintlybattlingandverymuddy——onelockofgrayishhairstragglingoverherneck，herfacescared，white，buttriumphant。Herbonnetdroppedoffandwastrampledintothegutter。AlittleCockneyrecoveredit，andmaderidiculousattemptstogettoherandreplaceit。
\"Youmustarrestme！\"shegasped，breathlessly，insistinginsanelyonapointalreadycarried；\"youshall！\"
Thepolice-stationattheendseemedtoAnnVeronicalikearefugefromunnamabledisgraces。Shehesitatedabouthername，and，beingprompted，gaveitatlastasAnnVeronicaSmith，107A，ChanceryLane……
Indignationcarriedherthroughthatnight，thatmenandtheworldcouldsoentreather。ThearrestedwomenwereherdedinapassageofthePantonStreetPolice-stationthatopeneduponacelltoouncleanforoccupation，andmostofthemspentthenightstanding。Hotcoffeeandcakesweresentintotheminthemorningbysomeintelligentsympathizer，orshewouldhavestarvedallday。Submissiontotheinevitablecarriedherthroughthecircumstancesofherappearancebeforethemagistrate。
Hewasnodoubtdoinghisbesttoexpresstheattitudeofsocietytowardthesewearilyheroicdefendants，butheseemedtobemerelyrudeandunfairtoAnnVeronica。Hewasnot，itseemed，theproperstipendiaryatall，andtherehadbeensomedemurtohisjurisdictionthathadruffledhim。Heresentedbeingregardedasirregular。Hefelthewashumanwisdomprudentiallyinterpolated……\"Yousillywimmin，\"hesaidoverandoveragainthroughoutthehearing，pluckingathisblotting-padwithbusyhands。\"Yousillycreatures！Ugh！Fieuponyou！\"Thecourtwascrowdedwithpeople，forthemostpartsupportersandadmirersofthedefendants，andthemanwiththelighteyelasheswasconspicuouslyactiveandomnipresent。
AnnVeronica’sappearancewasbriefandundistinguished。Shehadnothingtosayforherself。Shewasguidedintothedockandpromptedbyahelpfulpoliceinspector。Shewasawareofthebodyofthecourt，ofclerksseatedatablacktablelitteredwithpapers，ofpolicemenstandingaboutstifflywithexpressionsofconsciousintegrity，andamurmuringbackgroundoftheheadsandshouldersofspectatorsclosebehindher。Onahighchairbehindaraisedcounterthestipendiary’ssubstituteregardedhermalevolentlyoverhisglasses。Adisagreeableyoungman，withredhairandaloosemouth，seatedatthereporter’stable，wasonlytoomanifestlysketchingher。
Shewasinterestedbytheswearingofthewitnesses。Thekissingofthebookstruckherasparticularlyodd，andthenthepolicemengavetheirevidenceinstaccatojerksandstereotypedphrases。
\"Haveyouanythingtoaskthewitness？\"askedthehelpfulinspector。
TheribalddemonsthatinfestedthebackofAnnVeronica’smindurgedvariousfacetiousinterrogationsuponher，as，forexample，wherethewitnesshadacquiredhisprosestyle。Shecontrolledherself，andansweredmeekly，\"No。\"
\"Well，AnnVeronicaSmith，\"themagistrateremarkedwhenthecasewasallbeforehim，\"you’reagood-looking，strong，respectablegell，andit’sapityyousillyyoungwimmincan’tfindsomethingbettertodowithyourexuberance。Two-and-twenty！Ican’timaginewhatyourparentscanbethinkingabouttoletyougetintothesescrapes。\"
AnnVeronica’smindwasfilledwithconfusedunutterablereplies。
\"Youarepersuadedtocomeandtakepartintheseoutrageousproceedings——manyofyou，Iamconvinced，havenoideawhateveroftheirnature。Idon’tsupposeyoucouldtellmeeventhederivationofsuffrageifIaskedyou。No！noteventhederivation！Butthefashion’sbeensetandinityoumustbe。\"
Themenatthereporter’stableliftedtheireyebrows，smiledfaintly，andleanedbacktowatchhowshetookherscolding。Onewiththeappearanceofabaldlittlegnomeyawnedagonizingly。
Theyhadgotallthisdownalready——theyheardthesubstanceofitnowforthefourteenthtime。Thestipendiarywouldhavedoneitallverydifferently。
Shefoundpresentlyshewasoutofthedockandconfrontedwiththealternativeofbeingboundoverinonesuretyforthesumoffortypounds——whateverthatmightmeanoramonth’simprisonment。
\"Secondclass，\"saidsomeone，butfirstandsecondwereallaliketoher。Sheelectedtogotoprison。
Atlast，afteralongrumblingjourneyinastuffywindowlessvan，shereachedCanongatePrison——forHollowayhaditsquotaalready。ItwasbadlucktogotoCanongate。
Prisonwasbeastly。Prisonwasbleakwithoutspaciousness，andpervadedbyafaint，oppressivesmell；andshehadtowaittwohoursinthesullenlydefiantcompanyoftwouncleanwomenthievesbeforeacellcouldbeassignedtoher。Itsdreariness，likethefilthinessofthepolicecell，wasadiscoveryforher。
Shehadimaginedthatprisonswerewhite-tiledplaces，reekingoflime-washandimmaculatelysanitary。Instead，theyappearedtobeatthehygienicleveloftramps’lodging-houses。Shewasbathedinturbidwaterthathadalreadybeenused。Shewasnotallowedtobatheherself:anotherprisoner，withaprivilegedmanner，washedher。Conscientiousobjectorstothatprocessarenotpermitted，shefound，inCanongate。Herhairwaswashedforheralso。Thentheydressedherinadirtydressofcoarsesergeandacap，andtookawayherownclothes。Thedresscametoheronlytoomanifestlyunwashedfromitsformerwearer；eventheunder-linentheygaveherseemedunclean。Horriblememoriesofthingsseenbeneaththemicroscopeofthebaserformsoflifecrawledacrosshermindandsethershudderingwithimaginedirritations。Shesatontheedgeofthebed——thewardresswastoobusywiththefloodofarrivalsthatdaytodiscoverthatshehaditdown——andherskinwasshiveringfromthecontactofthesegarments。Shesurveyedaccommodationthatseemedatfirstmerelyaustere，andbecamemoreandmoremanifestlyinadequateasthemomentsfledby。Shemeditatedprofoundlythroughseveralenormouscoldhoursonallthathadhappenedandallthatshehaddonesincetheswirlofthesuffragemovementhadsubmergedherpersonalaffairs……
Veryslowlyemergingoutofaphaseofstupefaction，thesepersonalaffairsandherpersonalproblemresumedpossessionofhermind。Shehadimaginedshehaddrownedthemaltogether。
CHAPTERTHEELEVENTH
THOUGHTSINPRISON
Part1
Thefirstnightinprisonshefounditimpossibletosleep。Thebedwashardbeyondanyexperienceofhers，thebed-clothescoarseandinsufficient，thecellatoncecoldandstuffy。Thelittlegratinginthedoor，thesenseofconstantinspection，worriedher。Shekeptopeninghereyesandlookingatit。Shewasfatiguedphysicallyandmentally，andneithermindnorbodycouldrest。Shebecameawarethatatregularintervalsalightflasheduponherfaceandabodilesseyeregardedher，andthis，asthenightworeon，becameatorment……
Capescamebackintohermind。Hehauntedastatebetweenhecticdreamingandmilddelirium，andshefoundherselftalkingaloudtohim。AllthroughthenightanentirelyimpossibleandmonumentalCapesconfrontedher，andshearguedwithhimaboutmenandwomen。Shevisualizedhimasinapoliceman’suniformandquiteimpassive。Onsomeinsanescoreshefanciedshehadtostatehercaseinverse。\"Wearethemusicandyouaretheinstrument，\"shesaid；\"weareverseandyouareprose。
\"Formenhavereason，womenrhymeAmanscoresalways，allthetime。\"
Thiscoupletsprangintohermindfromnowhere，andimmediatelybegotanendlessseriesofsimilarcoupletsthatshebegantocomposeandaddresstoCapes。Theycameteemingdistressfullythroughherachingbrain:
\"Amancankick，hisskirtsdon’ttear；
Amanscoresalways，everywhere。
\"Hisdressfornomanlaysasnare；
Amanscoresalways，everywhere。
Forhatsthatfailandhatsthatflare；
Topperstheiruniversalwear；
Amanscoresalways，everywhere。
\"Men’swaistsareneitherherenorthere；
Amanscoresalways，everywhere。
\"Amancanmanagewithouthair；
Amanscoresalways，everywhere。
\"Therearenomalesatmentostare；
Amanscoresalways，everywhere。
\"Andchildrenmustwewomenbear——
\"Oh，damn！\"shecried，asthehundred-and-firstcoupletorsopresenteditselfinherunwillingbrain。
Foratimesheworriedaboutthatcompulsorybathandcutaneousdiseases。
Thenshefellintoafeverofremorseforthehabitofbadlanguageshehadacquired。
\"Amancansmoke，amancanswear；
Amanscoresalways，everywhere。\"
Sherolledoveronherface，andstuffedherfingersinherearstoshutouttherhythmfromhermind。Shelaystillforalongtime，andhermindresumedatamoretolerablepace。ShefoundherselftalkingtoCapesinanundertoneofrationaladmission。
\"Thereissomethingtobesaidforthelady-liketheoryafterall，\"sheadmitted。\"Womenoughttobegentleandsubmissivepersons，strongonlyinvirtueandinresistancetoevilcompulsion。Mydear——Icancallyouthathere，anyhow——Iknowthat。TheVictoriansover-diditalittle，Iadmit。Theirideaofmaidenlyinnocencewasjustablankwhite——thesortofflatwhitethatdoesn’tshine。Butthatdoesn’talterthefactthatthereISinnocence。AndI’veread，andthought，andguessed，andlooked——untilMYinnocence——it’ssmirched。
\"Smirched！……
\"Yousee，dear，oneISpassionatelyanxiousforsomething——whatisit？OnewantstobeCLEAN。Youwantmetobeclean。Youwouldwantmetobeclean，ifyougavemeathought，thatis……
\"Iwonderifyougivemeathought……
\"I’mnotagoodwoman。Idon’tmeanI’mnotagoodwoman——ImeanthatI’mnotaGOODwoman。Mypoorbrainissomixed，dear，I
hardlyknowwhatIamsaying。ImeanI’mnotagoodspecimenofawoman。I’vegotastreakofmale。Thingshappentowomen——
properwomen——andalltheyhavetodoistotakethemwell。
They’vejustgottokeepwhite。ButI’malwaystryingtomakethingshappen。AndIgetmyselfdirty……
\"It’salldirtthatwashesoff，dear，butit’sdirt。
\"Thewhiteunaggressivewomanwhocorrectsandnursesandserves，andisworshippedandbetrayed——themartyr-queenofmen，thewhitemother……Youcan’tdothatsortofthingunlessyoudoitoverreligion，andthere’snoreligioninme——ofthatsort——wortharap。
\"I’mnotgentle。Certainlynotagentlewoman。
\"I’mnotcoarse——no！ButI’vegotnopurityofmind——norealpurityofmind。Agoodwoman’smindhasangelswithflamingswordsattheportalstokeepoutfallenthoughts……
\"Iwonderifthereareanygoodwomenreally。
\"IwishIdidn’tswear。Idoswear。Itbeganasajoke……
Itdevelopedintoasortofsecretandprivatebadmanners。It’sgottobeatlastliketobacco-ashoverallmysayingsanddoings……
\"’Goit，missie，’theysaid；\"kickaht！’
\"Isworeatthatpoliceman——anddisgustedhim。Disgustedhim！
\"Formenpolicemenneverblush；
Amaninallthingsscoressomuch……
\"Damn！Thingsaregettingplainer。Itmustbethedawncreepingin。
\"Nowherehathbeendawninganotherblueday；
I’mjustapoorwoman，pleasetakeitaway。
\"Oh，sleep！Sleep！Sleep！Sleep！\"
Part2
\"Now，\"saidAnnVeronica，afterthehalf-hourofexercise，andsittingontheuncomfortablewoodenseatwithoutabackthatwasherperchbyday，\"it’snogoodstayinghereinasortofmaze。
I’vegotnothingtodoforamonthbutthink。Imayaswellthink。Ioughttobeabletothinkthingsout。
\"HowshallIputthequestion？WhatamI？WhathaveIgottodowithmyself？……
\"IwonderifmanypeopleHAVEthoughtthingsout？
\"Arewealljustseizingholdofphrasesandobeyingmoods？
\"Itwasn’tsowithold-fashionedpeople，theyknewrightfromwrong；theyhadaclear-cut，religiousfaiththatseemedtoexplaineverythingandgivearuleforeverything。Wehaven’t。
Ihaven’t，anyhow。Andit’snogoodpretendingthereisonewhenthereisn’t……IsupposeIbelieveinGod……NeverreallythoughtaboutHim——peopledon’t……Isupposemycreedis，’IbelieveratherindistinctlyinGodtheFatherAlmighty，substratumoftheevolutionaryprocess，and，inaveinofvaguesentimentalitythatdoesn’tgiveadatumforanythingatall，inJesusChrist，HisSon。’……
\"It’snosortofgood，AnnVeronica，pretendingonedoesbelievewhenonedoesn’t……
\"Andasforprayingforfaith——thissortofmonologueisaboutasnearasanyoneofmysortevergetstoprayer。Aren’tI
asking——askingplainlynow？……
\"We’veallbeenmixingourideas，andwe’vegotintellectualhotcoppers——everyblessedoneofus……
\"Aconfusionofmotives——that’swhatIam！……
\"ThereisthisabsurdcravingforMr。Capes——the’Capescrave，’
theywouldcallitinAmerica。WhydoIwanthimsobadly？WhydoIwanthim，andthinkabouthim，andfailtogetawayfromhim？
\"Itisn’tallofme。
\"Thefirstpersonyoulove，AnnVeronica，isyourself——getholdofthat！ThesoulyouhavetosaveisAnnVeronica’ssoul……\"
Shekneltuponthefloorofhercellandclaspedherhands，andremainedforalongtimeinsilence。
\"Oh，God！\"shesaidatlast，\"howIwishIhadbeentaughttopray！\"
Part3
Shehadsomeideaofputtingthesesubtleanddifficultissuestothechaplainwhenshewaswarnedofhisadvent。ButshehadnotreckonedwiththeetiquetteofCanongate。Shegotup，asshehadbeentoldtodo，athisappearance，andheamazedherbysittingdown，accordingtocustom，onherstool。Hestillworehishat，toshowthatthedaysofmiraclesandChristbeingciviltosinnersareoverforever。Sheperceivedthathiscountenancewasonlycomposedbyagreateffort，hisfeaturesseverelycompressed。Hewasruffled，andhisearswerered，nodoubtfromsomeadjacentcontroversy。Heclassifiedherasheseatedhimself。
\"Anotheryoungwoman，Isuppose，\"hesaid，\"whoknowsbetterthanherMakeraboutherplaceintheworld。Haveyouanythingtoaskme？\"
AnnVeronicareadjustedhermindhastily。Herbackstiffened。
Sheproducedfromthedepthsofherpridetheuglyinvestigatorynoteofthemoderndistrictvisitor。\"Areyouaspecialsortofclergyman，\"shesaid，afterapause，andlookingdownhernoseathim，\"ordoyougototheUniversities？\"
\"Oh！\"hesaid，profoundly。
Hepantedforamomentwithunutteredreplies，andthen，withascornfulgesture，gotupandleftthecell。
SothatAnnVeronicawasnotabletogettheexpertadviceshecertainlyneededuponherspiritualstate。
Part4
Afteradayorsoshethoughtmoresteadily。Shefoundherselfinaphaseofviolentreactionagainstthesuffragemovement，aphasegreatlypromotedbyoneofthoseunreasonableobjectionspeopleofAnnVeronica’stemperamenttakeattimes——tothegirlinthenextcelltoherown。Shewasalarge，resilientgirl，withafoolishsmile，astillmorefoolishexpressionofearnestness，andathroatycontraltovoice。Shewasnoisyandhilariousandenthusiastic，andherhairwasalwaysabominablydone。Inthechapelshesangwithanopen-lungedgustothatsilencedAnnVeronicaaltogether，andintheexercising-yardslouchedroundwithcarelesslydispersedfeet。AnnVeronicadecidedthat\"hoydenishragger\"wastheonlyphrasetoexpressher。Shewasalwaysbreakingrules，whisperingasides，intimatingsignals。ShebecameattimesanembodimentforAnnVeronicaofallthatmadethesuffragemovementdefectiveandunsatisfying。
Shewasalwaysinitiatingpettybreachesofdiscipline。Hergreatestexploitwasthehowlingbeforethemid-daymeal。ThiswasanimitationofthenoisesmadebythecarnivoraattheZoologicalGardensatfeeding-time；theideawastakenupbyprisonerafterprisoneruntilthewholeplacewasalivewithbarkings，yappings，roarings，pelicanchatterings，andfelineyowlings，interspersedwithshrieksofhystericallaughter。Tomanyinthatcrowdedsolitudeitcameasanextraordinaryrelief。
Itwasbettereventhanthehymn-singing。ButitannoyedAnnVeronica。
\"Idiots！\"shesaid，whensheheardthispandemonium，andwithparticularreferencetothisyoungladywiththethroatycontraltonextdoor。\"Intolerableidiots！……\"
Ittooksomedaysforthisphasetopass，anditleftsomescarsandsomethinglikeadecision。\"Violencewon’tdoit，\"saidAnnVeronica。\"Beginviolence，andthewomangoesunder……
\"Butalltherestofourcaseisright……Yes。\"
Asthelong，solitarydaysworeon，AnnVeronicafoundanumberofdefiniteattitudesandconclusionsinhermind。
Oneofthesewasaclassificationofwomenintowomenwhoareandwomenwhoarenothostiletomen。\"TherealreasonwhyIamoutofplacehere，\"shesaid，\"isbecauseIlikemen。Icantalkwiththem。I’veneverfoundthemhostile。I’vegotnofeminineclassfeeling。Idon’twantanylawsorfreedomstoprotectmefromamanlikeMr。Capes。IknowthatinmyheartIwouldtakewhateverhegave……
\"Awomanwantsaproperalliancewithaman，amanwhoisbetterstuffthanherself。Shewantsthatandneedsitmorethananythingelseintheworld。Itmaynotbejust，itmaynotbefair，butthingsareso。Itisn’tlaw，norcustom，normasculineviolencesettledthat。Itisjusthowthingshappentobe。Shewantstobefree——shewantstobelegallyandeconomicallyfree，soasnottobesubjecttothewrongman；butonlyGod，whomadetheworld，canalterthingstopreventherbeingslavetotherightone。
\"Andifshecan’thavetherightone？
\"We’vedevelopedsuchaqualityofpreference！\"
Sherubbedherknucklesintoherforehead。\"Oh，butlifeisdifficult！\"shegroaned。\"Whenyouloosenthetangleinoneplaceyoutieaknotinanother……Beforethereisanychange，anyrealchange，Ishallbedead——dead——deadandfinished——twohundredyears！……\"
Part5
Oneafternoon，whileeverythingwasstill，thewardressheardhercryoutsuddenlyandalarmingly，andwithgreatandunmistakablepassion，\"WhyinthenameofgoodnessdidIburnthattwentypounds？\"
Part6
Shesatregardingherdinner。Themeatwascoarseanddisagreeablyserved。
\"Isupposesomeonemakesabitonthefood，\"shesaid……
\"Onehassuchridiculousideasofthewickedcommonpeopleandthebeautifulmachineryoforderthatropesthemin。Andherearetheseplaces，fullofcontagion！
\"Ofcourse，thisistherealtextureoflife，thisiswhatwerefinedsecurepeopleforget。Wethinkthewholethingisstraightandnobleatbottom，anditisn’t。Wethinkifwejustdefythefriendswehaveandgooutintotheworldeverythingwillbecomeeasyandsplendid。Onedoesn’trealizethateventhesortofcivilizationonehasatMorningsideParkisheldtogetherwithdifficulty。Bypolicemenonemustn’tshock。
\"Thisisn’taworldforaninnocentgirltowalkaboutin。It’saworldofdirtandskindiseasesandparasites。It’saworldinwhichthelawcanbeastupidpigandthepolice-stationsdirtydens。Onewantshelpersandprotectors——andcleanwater。
\"AmIbecomingreasonableoramIbeingtamed？
\"I’msimplydiscoveringthatlifeismany-sidedandcomplexandpuzzling。Ithoughtonehadonlytotakeitbythethroat。
\"Ithasn’tGOTathroat！\"
Part7
Onedaytheideaofself-sacrificecameintoherhead，andshemade，shethought，someimportantmoraldiscoveries。
Itcamewithanextremeeffectofre-discovery，aremarkablenovelty。\"WhathaveIbeenallthistime？\"sheaskedherself，andanswered，\"Juststarkegotism，crudeassertionofAnnVeronica，withoutamodestragofreligionordisciplineorrespectforauthoritytocoverme！\"
Itseemedtoherasthoughshehadatlastfoundthetouchstoneofconduct。Sheperceivedshehadneverreallythoughtofanyonebutherselfinallheractsandplans。EvenCapeshadbeenforhermerelyanexcitanttopassionatelove——amereidolatwhosefeetonecouldenjoyimaginativewallowings。Shehadsetouttogetabeautifullife，afree，untrammelledlife，self-development，withoutcountingthecosteitherforherselforothers。
\"Ihavehurtmyfather，\"shesaid；\"Ihavehurtmyaunt。IhavehurtandsnubbedpoorTeddy。I’vemadenoonehappy。IdeserveprettymuchwhatI’vegot……
\"Ifonlybecauseofthewayonehurtsothersifonekickslooseandfree，onehastosubmit……
\"Broken-inpeople！Isupposetheworldisjustallegotisticalchildrenandbroken-inpeople。
\"Yourlittleflagofpridemustflutterdownwiththerestofthem，AnnVeronica……
\"Compromise——andkindness。
\"Compromiseandkindness。
\"WhoareYOUthattheworldshouldliedownatyourfeet？
\"You’vegottobeadecentcitizen，AnnVeronica。Takeyourhalfloafwiththeothers。Youmustn’tgoclawingafteramanthatdoesn’tbelongtoyou——thatisn’teveninterestedinyou。That’sonethingclear。
\"You’vegottotakethedecentreasonableway。You’vegottoadjustyourselftothepeopleGodhassetaboutyou。Everyoneelsedoes。\"
Shethoughtmoreandmorealongthatline。Therewasnoreasonwhysheshouldn’tbeCapes’friend。Hedidlikeher，anyhow；hewasalwayspleasedtobewithher。Therewasnoreasonwhysheshouldn’tbehisrestrainedanddignifiedfriend。Afterall，thatwaslife。Nothingwasgivenaway，andnoonecamesorichtothestallastocommandallthatithadtooffer。Everyonehastomakeadealwiththeworld。
ItwouldbeverygoodtobeCapes’friend。
Shemightbeabletogoonwithbiology，possiblyevenworkuponthesamequestionsthathedealtwith……
Perhapshergranddaughtermightmarryhisgrandson……
Itgrewcleartoherthatthroughoutallherwildraidforindependenceshehaddonenothingforanybody，andmanypeoplehaddonethingsforher。Shethoughtofherauntandthatpursethatwasdroppedonthetable，andofmanytroublesomeandill-requitedkindnesses；shethoughtofthehelpoftheWidgetts，ofTeddy’sadmiration；shethought，withanew-borncharity，ofherfather，ofManning’sconscientiousunselfishness，ofMissMiniver’sdevotion。
\"AndformeithasbeenPrideandPrideandPride！
\"Iamtheprodigaldaughter。Iwillariseandgotomyfather，andwillsayuntohim——
\"Isupposeprideandself-assertionaresin？Sinnedagainstheaven——Yes，Ihavesinnedagainstheavenandbeforethee……
\"Poorolddaddy！Iwonderifhe’llspendmuchonthefattedcalf？……
\"Thewrapperedlife-discipline！Onecomestothatatlast。I
begintounderstandJaneAustenandchintzcoversanddecencyandrefinementandalltherestofit。Oneputsglovesonone’sgreedyfingers。Onelearnstositup……
\"Andsomehoworother，\"sheadded，afteralonginterval，\"ImustpayMr。Ramagebackhisfortypounds。\"
CHAPTERTHETWELFTH
ANNVERONICAPUTSTHINGSINORDER
Part1
AnnVeronicamadeastrenuousattempttocarryouthergoodresolutions。Shemeditatedlongandcarefullyuponherlettertoherfatherbeforeshewroteit，andgravelyanddeliberatelyagainbeforeshedespatchedit。
\"MYDEARFATHER，\"shewrote，——\"IhavebeenthinkinghardabouteverythingsinceIwassenttothisprison。Alltheseexperienceshavetaughtmeagreatdealaboutlifeandrealities。IseethatcompromiseismorenecessarytolifethanIignorantlysupposedittobe，andIhavebeentryingtogetLordMorley’sbookonthatsubject，butitdoesnotappeartobeavailableintheprisonlibrary，andthechaplainseemstoregardhimasanundesirablewriter。\"
Atthispointshehadperceivedthatshewasdriftingfromhersubject。
\"ImustreadhimwhenIcomeout。ButIseeveryclearlythatasthingsareadaughterisnecessarilydependentonherfatherandboundwhilesheisinthatpositiontoliveharmoniouslywithhisideals。\"
\"Bitstarchy，\"saidAnnVeronica，andalteredthekeyabruptly。
Herconcludingparagraphwas，onthewhole，perhaps，hardlystarchyenough。
\"Really，daddy，IamsorryforallIhavedonetoputyouout。
MayIcomehomeandtrytobeabetterdaughtertoyou？
\"ANNVERONICA。\"
Part2
HerauntcametomeetheroutsideCanongate，and，beingalittleconfusedbetweenwhatwasofficialandwhatwasmerelyarebelliousslightuponournationaljustice，foundherselfinvolvedinatriumphalprocessiontotheVindicatorVegetarianRestaurant，andwasspecificallyandpersonallycheeredbyasmall，shabbycrowdoutsidethatrendezvous。Theydecidedquiteaudibly，\"She’sanOldDear，anyhow。Votingwouldn’tdono’armto’er。\"Shewasontheveryvergeofavegetarianmealbeforesherecoveredherheadagain。Obeyingsomefineinstinct，shehadcometotheprisoninadarkveil，butshehadpushedthisuptokissAnnVeronicaandneverdrawnitdownagain。Eggswereprocuredforher，andshesatoutthesubsequentemotionsandeloquencewiththedignitybecominganinjuredladyofgoodfamily。Thequietencounterandhome-comingAnnVeronicaandshehadcontemplatedwasentirelydisorganizedbythismisadventure；
therewerenoadequateexplanations，andaftertheyhadsettledthingsatAnnVeronica’slodgings，theyreachedhomeintheearlyafternoonestrangedanddepressed，withheadachesandthetrumpetvoiceoftheindomitableKittyBrettstillringingintheirears。
\"Dreadfulwomen，mydear！\"saidMissStanley。\"Andsomeofthemquiteprettyandwelldressed。Noneedtodosuchthings。Wemustneverletyourfatherknowwewent。Whyeverdidyouletmegetintothatwagonette？\"
\"Ithoughtwehadto，\"saidAnnVeronica，whohadalsobeenalittleunderthecompulsionofthemarshalsoftheoccasion。\"Itwasverytiring。\"
\"Wewillhavesometeainthedrawing-roomassoonaseverwecan——andIwilltakemythingsoff。Idon’tthinkIshallevercareforthisbonnetagain。We’llhavesomebutteredtoast。
Yourpoorcheeksarequitesunkenandhollow……\"
Part3
WhenAnnVeronicafoundherselfinherfather’sstudythateveningitseemedtoherforamomentasthoughalltheeventsofthepastsixmonthshadbeenadream。ThebiggrayspacesofLondon，theshop-lit，greasy，shiningstreets，hadbecomeveryremote；thebiologicallaboratorywithitsworkandemotions，themeetingsanddiscussions，theridesinhansomswithRamage，werelikethingsinabookreadandclosed。Thestudyseemedabsolutelyunaltered，therewasstillthesamelampwithalittlechipoutoftheshade，stillthesamegasfire，stillthesamebundleofblueandwhitepapers，itseemed，withthesamepinktapeaboutthem，attheelbowofthearm-chair，stillthesamefather。Hesatinmuchthesameattitude，andshestoodjustasshehadstoodwhenhetoldhershecouldnotgototheFaddenDance。Bothhaddroppedtheratherelaboratepolitenessofthedining-room，andintheirfacesanimpartialobserverwouldhavediscoveredlittlelinesofobstinatewilfulnessincommon；acertainhardness——sharp，indeed，inthefatherandsoftlyroundedinthedaughter——buthardnessnevertheless，thatmadeeverycompromiseabargainandeverycharityadiscount。
\"Andsoyouhavebeenthinking？\"herfatherbegan，quotingherletterandlookingoverhisslantingglassesather。\"Well，mygirl，Iwishyouhadthoughtaboutallthesethingsbeforethesebothersbegan。\"
AnnVeronicaperceivedthatshemustnotforgettoremaineminentlyreasonable。
\"Onehastoliveandlearn，\"sheremarked，withapassableimitationofherfather’smanner。
\"Solongasyoulearn，\"saidMr。Stanley。
Theirconversationhung。
\"Isuppose，daddy，you’venoobjectiontomygoingonwithmyworkattheImperialCollege？\"sheasked。
\"Ifitwillkeepyoubusy，\"hesaid，withafaintlyironicalsmile。
\"Thefeesarepaidtotheendofthesession。\"
Henoddedtwice，withhiseyesonthefire，asthoughthatwasaformalstatement。
\"Youmaygoonwiththatwork，\"hesaid，\"solongasyoukeepinharmonywiththingsathome。I’mconvincedthatmuchofRussell’sinvestigationsareonwronglines，unsoundlines。
Still——youmustlearnforyourself。You’reofage——you’reofage。\"
\"Thework’salmostessentialfortheB。Sc。exam。\"
\"It’sscandalous，butIsupposeitis。\"
Theiragreementsofarseemedremarkable，andyetasahome-comingthethingwasalittlelackinginwarmth。ButAnnVeronicahadstilltogettoherchieftopic。Theyweresilentforatime。\"It’saperiodofcrudeviewsandcrudework，\"saidMr。Stanley。\"Still，theseMendelianfellowsseemlikelytogiveMr。Russelltrouble，agoodlotoftrouble。Someoftheirspecimens——wonderfullyselected，wonderfullygotup。\"
\"Daddy，\"saidAnnVeronica，\"theseaffairs——beingawayfromhomehas——costmoney。\"
\"Ithoughtyouwouldfindthatout。\"
\"Asamatteroffact，Ihappentohavegotalittleintodebt。\"
\"NEVER！\"
Herheartsankatthechangeinhisexpression。
\"Well，lodgingsandthings！AndIpaidmyfeesattheCollege。\"
\"Yes。Buthowcouldyouget——Whogaveyoucredit？
\"Yousee，\"saidAnnVeronica，\"mylandladykeptonmyroomwhileIwasinHolloway，andthefeesfortheCollegemountedupprettyconsiderably。\"Shespokeratherquickly，becauseshefoundherfather’squestionthemostawkwardshehadeverhadtoanswerinherlife。
\"Mollyandyousettledabouttherooms。ShesaidyouHADsomemoney。\"
\"Iborrowedit，\"saidAnnVeronicainacasualtone，withwhitedespairinherheart。
\"Butwhocouldhavelentyoumoney？\"
\"Ipawnedmypearlnecklace。Igotthreepounds，andthere’sthreeonmywatch。\"
\"Sixpounds。H’m。Gotthetickets？Yes，butthen——yousaidyouborrowed？\"
\"Idid，too，\"saidAnnVeronica。
\"Whofrom？\"
Shemethiseyeforasecondandherheartfailedher。Thetruthwasimpossible，indecent。IfshementionedRamagehemighthaveafit——anythingmighthappen。Shelied。\"TheWidgetts，\"shesaid。
\"Tut，tut！\"hesaid。\"Really，Vee，youseemtohaveadvertisedourrelationsprettygenerally！\"
\"They——theyknew，ofcourse。BecauseoftheDance。\"
\"Howmuchdoyouowethem？\"
Sheknewfortypoundswasaquiteimpossiblesumfortheirneighbors。Sheknew，too，shemustnothesitate。\"Eightpounds，\"sheplunged，andaddedfoolishly，\"fifteenpoundswillseemeclearofeverything。\"Shemutteredsomeunlady-likecommentuponherselfunderherbreathandengagedinsecretadditions。
Mr。Stanleydeterminedtoimprovetheoccasion。Heseemedtodeliberate。\"Well，\"hesaidatlastslowly，\"I’llpayit。I’llpayit。ButIdohope，Vee，Idohope——thisistheendoftheseadventures。Ihopeyouhavelearnedyourlessonnowandcometosee——cometorealize——howthingsare。People，nobody，candoastheylikeinthisworld。Everywheretherearelimitations。\"
\"Iknow，\"saidAnnVeronicafifteenpounds！。\"Ihavelearnedthat。Imean——ImeantodowhatIcan。\"Fifteenpounds。
Fifteenfromfortyistwenty-five。
Hehesitated。Shecouldthinkofnothingmoretosay。
\"Well，\"sheachievedatlast。\"Heregoesforthenewlife！\"
\"Heregoesforthenewlife，\"heechoedandstoodup。Fatheranddaughterregardedeachotherwarily，eachmorethanalittleinsecurewiththeother。Hemadeamovementtowardher，andthenrecalledthecircumstancesoftheirlastconversationinthatstudy。Shesawhispurposeandhisdoubthesitatedalso，andthenwenttohim，tookhiscoatlapels，andkissedhimonthecheek。
\"Ah，Vee，\"hesaid，\"that’sbetter！andkissedherbackratherclumsily。\"We’regoingtobesensible。\"
Shedisengagedherselffromhimandwentoutoftheroomwithagrave，preoccupiedexpression。Fifteenpounds！Andshewantedforty！
Part4
Itwas，perhaps，thenaturalconsequenceofalongandtiringandexcitingdaythatAnnVeronicashouldpassabrokenanddistressfulnight，anightinwhichthenobleandself-subduingresolutionsofCanongatedisplayedthemselvesforthefirsttimeinanatmosphereofalmostluriddismay。Herfather’speculiarstiffnessofsoulpresenteditselfnowassomethingaltogetherleftoutofthecalculationsuponwhichherplanswerebased，and，inparticular，shehadnotanticipatedthedifficultyshewouldfindinborrowingthefortypoundssheneededforRamage。
Thathadtakenherbysurprise，andhertiredwitshadfailedher。Shewastohavefifteenpounds，andnomore。Sheknewthattoexpectmorenowwaslikeanticipatingagold-mineinthegarden。Thechancehadgone。ItbecamesuddenlyglaringlyapparenttoherthatitwasimpossibletoreturnfifteenpoundsoranysumlessthantwentypoundstoRamage——absolutelyimpossible。Sherealizedthatwithapangofdisgustandhorror。
Alreadyshehadsenthimtwentypounds，andneverwrittentoexplaintohimwhyitwasshehadnotsentitbacksharplydirectlyhereturnedit。Sheoughttohavewrittenatonceandtoldhimexactlywhathadhappened。Nowifshesentfifteenpoundsthesuggestionthatshehadspentafive-poundnoteinthemeanwhilewouldbeirresistible。No！Thatwasimpossible。Shewouldhavejusttokeepthefifteenpoundsuntilshecouldmakeittwenty。Thatmighthappenonherbirthday——inAugust。
Sheturnedabout，andwaspersecutedbyvisions，halfmemories，halfdreams，ofRamage。Hebecameuglyandmonstrous，dunningher，threateningher，assailingher。
\"Confoundsexfromfirsttolast！\"saidAnnVeronica。\"Whycan’twepropagatebysexlessspores，asthefernsdo？Werestricteachother，webadgereachother，friendshipispoisonedandburiedunderit！……IMUSTpayoffthatfortypounds。I
MUST。\"
ForatimethereseemednocomfortforhereveninCapes。ShewastoseeCapesto-morrow，butnow，inthisstateofmiseryshehadachieved，shefeltassuredhewouldturnhisbackuponher，takenonoticeofheratall。Andifhedidn’t，whatwasthegoodofseeinghim？
\"Iwishhewasawoman，\"shesaid，\"thenIcouldmakehimmyfriend。Iwanthimasmyfriend。Iwanttotalktohimandgoaboutwithhim。Justgoaboutwithhim。\"
Shewassilentforatime，withhernoseonthepillow，andthatbroughtherto:\"What’sthegoodofpretending？
\"Ilovehim，\"shesaidaloudtothedimformsofherroom，andrepeatedit，andwentontoimagineherselfdoingactsoftragicallydog-likedevotiontothebiologist，who，forthepurposesofthedrama，remainedentirelyunconsciousofandindifferenttoherproceedings。
Atlastsomeanodyneformeditselffromtheseexercises，and，witheyelasheswetwithsuchfeebletearsasonlythree-o’clock-in-the-morningpathoscandistil，shefellasleep。
Part5
PursuanttosomealtogetherprivatecalculationsshedidnotgouptotheImperialCollegeuntilaftermid-day，andshefoundthelaboratorydeserted，evenasshedesired。Shewenttothetableundertheendwindowatwhichshehadbeenaccustomedtowork，andfounditsweptandgarnishedwithfullbottlesofre-agents。
Everythingwasveryneat；ithadevidentlybeenstraightenedupandkeptforher。Sheputdownthesketch-booksandapparatusshehadbroughtwithher，pulledoutherstool，andsatdown。Asshedidsothepreparation-roomdooropenedbehindher。Shehearditopen，butasshefeltunabletolookroundinacarelessmannershepretendednottohearit。ThenCapes’footstepsapproached。Sheturnedwithaneffort。
\"Iexpectedyouthismorning，\"hesaid。\"Isaw——theyknockedoffyourfettersyesterday。\"
\"Ithinkitisverygoodofmetocomethisafternoon。\"
\"Ibegantobeafraidyoumightnotcomeatall。\"
\"Afraid！\"
\"Yes。I’mgladyou’rebackforallsortsofreasons。\"Hespokealittlenervously。\"Amongotherthings，youknow，Ididn’tunderstandquite——Ididn’tunderstandthatyouweresokeenlyinterestedinthissuffragequestion。IhaveitonmyconsciencethatIoffendedyou——\"
\"Offendedmewhen？\"
\"I’vebeenhauntedbythememoryofyou。Iwasrudeandstupid。
Weweretalkingaboutthesuffrage——andIratherscoffed。\"
\"Youweren’trude，\"shesaid。
\"Ididn’tknowyouweresokeenonthissuffragebusiness。\"
\"NorI。Youhaven’thaditonyourmindallthistime？\"
\"Ihaverather。IfeltsomehowI’dhurtyou。\"
\"Youdidn’t。I——Ihurtmyself。\"
\"Imean——\"
\"Ibehavedlikeanidiot，that’sall。Mynerveswereinrags。I
wasworried。We’rethehystericalanimal，Mr。Capes。Igotmyselflockeduptocooloff。Byasortofinstinct。Asadogeatsgrass。I’mrightagainnow。\"
\"Becauseyournerveswereexposed，thatwasnoexcuseformytouchingthem。Ioughttohaveseen——\"
\"Itdoesn’tmatterarap——ifyou’renotdisposedtoresentthe——thewayIbehaved。\"
\"_I_resent！\"
\"IwasonlysorryI’dbeensostupid。\"
\"Well，Itakeitwe’restraightagain，\"saidCapeswithanoteofrelief，andassumedaneasierpositionontheedgeofhertable。
\"Butifyouweren’tkeenonthesuffragebusiness，whyonearthdidyougotoprison？\"
AnnVeronicareflected。\"Itwasaphase，\"shesaid。
Hesmiled。\"It’sanewphaseinthelifehistory，\"heremarked。
\"Everybodyseemstohaveitnow。Everybodywho’sgoingtodevelopintoawoman。\"
\"There’sMissGarvice。\"
\"She’scomingon，\"saidCapes。\"And，youknow，you’realteringusall。I’Mshaken。Thecampaign’sasuccess。\"Hemetherquestioningeye，andrepeated，\"Oh！itISasuccess。Amanissoaptto——totakewomenalittletoolightly。Unlesstheyremindhimnowandthennotto……YOUdid。\"
\"ThenIdidn’twastemytimeinprisonaltogether？\"
\"Itwasn’ttheprisonimpressedme。ButIlikedthethingsyousaidhere。IfeltsuddenlyIunderstoodyou——asanintelligentperson。Ifyou’llforgivemysayingthat，andimplyingwhatgoeswithit。There’ssomething——puppyishinaman’susualattitudetowomen。ThatiswhatI’vehadonmyconscience……Idon’tthinkwe’realtogethertoblameifwedon’ttakesomeofyourlotseriously。Someofyoursex，Imean。Butwesmirkalittle，I’mafraid，habituallywhenwetalktoyou。Wesmirk，andwe’reabit——furtive。\"
Hepaused，withhiseyesstudyinghergravely。\"You，anyhow，don’tdeserveit，\"hesaid。
TheircolloquywasendedabruptlybytheapparitionofMissKleggatthefurtherdoor。WhenshesawAnnVeronicashestoodforamomentasifentranced，andthenadvancedwithoutstretchedhands。\"Veronique！\"shecriedwitharisingintonation，thoughneverbeforehadshecalledAnnVeronicaanythingbutMissStanley，andseizedherandsqueezedherandkissedherwithprofoundemotion。\"Tothinkthatyouweregoingtodoit——andneversaidaword！Youarealittlethin，butexceptforthatyoulook——youlookbetterthanever。WasitVERYhorrible？I
triedtogetintothepolice-court，butthecrowdwaseversomuchtoobig，pushasIwould……
\"Imeantogotoprisondirectlythesessionisover，\"saidMissKlegg。\"Wildhorses——notiftheyhaveallthemountedpoliceinLondon——shan’tkeepmeout。\"
Part6
CapeslitthingswonderfullyforAnnVeronicaallthatafternoon，hewassofriendly，sopalpablyinterestedinher，andgladtohaveherbackwithhim。Teainthelaboratorywasasortofsuffragettereception。MissGarviceassumedaqualityofneutrality，professedherselfalmostwonoverbyAnnVeronica’sexample，andtheScotchmandecidedthatifwomenhadadistinctivesphereitwas，atanyrate，anenlargingsphere，andnoonewhobelievedinthedoctrineofevolutioncouldlogicallydenythevotetowomen\"ultimately，\"howevermuchtheymightbedisposedtodoubttheadvisabilityofitsimmediateconcession。
Itwasarefusalofexpediency，hesaid，andnotanabsoluterefusal。TheyouthwithhishairlikeRussellclearedhisthroatandsaidratherirrelevantlythatheknewamanwhoknewThomasBayardSimmons，whohadriotedintheStrangers’Gallery，andthenCapes，findingthemalldistinctlypro-AnnVeronica，ifnotpro-feminist，venturedtobeperverse，andstartedaveinofspeculationupontheScotchman’sidea——thattherewerestillhopesofwomenevolvingintosomethinghigher。
Hewasunusuallyabsurdandready，andallthetimeitseemedtoAnnVeronicaasadelightfulpossibility，asathingnotindeedtobeentertainedseriously，buttobehalffurtivelyfelt，thathewasbeingsoagreeablebecauseshehadcomebackagain。Shereturnedhomethroughaworldthatwasasroseateasithadbeengrayovernight。
ButasshegotoutofthetrainatMorningsideParkStationshehadashock。Shesaw，twentyyardsdowntheplatform，theshinyhatandbroadbackandinimitableswaggerofRamage。Shedivedatoncebehindthecoverofthelamp-roomandaffectedserioustroublewithhershoe-laceuntilhewasoutofthestation，andthenshefollowedslowlyandwithextremediscretionuntilthebifurcationoftheAvenuefromthefieldwayinsuredherescape。
RamagewentuptheAvenue，andshehurriedalongthepathwithabeatingheartandadisagreeablesenseofunsolvedproblemsinhermind。
\"Thatthing’sgoingon，\"shetoldherself。\"Everythinggoeson，confoundit！Onedoesn’tchangeanythingonehassetgoingbymakinggoodresolutions。\"
AndthenaheadofhershesawtheradiantandwelcomingfigureofManning。Hecameasanagreeablediversionfromaninsolubleperplexity。Shesmiledatthesightofhim，andthereathisradiationincreased。
\"Imissedthehourofyourrelease，\"hesaid，\"butIwasattheVindicatorRestaurant。Youdidnotseeme，Iknow。Iwasamongthecommonherdintheplacebelow，butItookgoodcaretoseeyou。\"
\"Ofcourseyou’reconverted？\"shesaid。
\"TotheviewthatallthoseSplendidWomeninthemovementoughttohavevotes。Rather！Whocouldhelpit？\"
Hetoweredupoverherandsmileddownatherinhisfatherlyway。
\"Totheviewthatallwomenoughttohavevoteswhethertheylikeitornot。\"
Heshookhishead，andhiseyesandthemouthundertheblackmustachewrinkledwithhissmile。AndashewalkedbyhersidetheybeganawranglethatwasnonethelesspleasanttoAnnVeronicabecauseitservedtobanishadisagreeablepreoccupation。ItseemedtoherinherrestoredgenialitythatshelikedManningextremely。ThebrightnessCapeshaddiffusedovertheworldglorifiedevenhisrival。