Heletgotherevolveraltogether,stoodhesitating,thenthrowinghishandsout,strodeforward——andeverythingpassedfromhissight。Hecouldnotseetheman,thewoman,theearth,thesky——sawnothing,asifinthatonestridehehadleftthevisibleworldbehindtostepintoablackanddesertedspace。Heheardscreamsroundhiminthatobscurity,screamslikethemelancholyandpitifulcriesofsea-birdsthatdwellonthelonelyreefsofgreatoceans。Thensuddenlyafaceappearedwithinafewinchesofhisown。Hisface。Hefeltsomethinginhislefthand。Histhroat……Ah!thethinglikeasnake’sheadthatdartsupanddown……Hesqueezedhard。Hewasbackintheworld。Hecouldseethequickbeatingofeyelidsoverapairofeyesthatwereallwhites,thegrinofadrawn-uplip,arowofteethgleamingthroughthedroopinghairofamoustache……Strongwhiteteeth。Knockthemdownhislyingthroat……
Hedrewbackhisrighthand,thefistuptotheshoulder,knucklesout。Fromunderhisfeetrosethescreamsofsea-birds。
Thousandsofthem。Somethingheldhislegs……Whatthedevil……Hedeliveredhisblowstraightfromtheshoulder,feltthejarrightuphisarm,andrealizedsuddenlythathewasstrikingsomethingpassiveandunresisting。Hisheartsankwithinhimwithdisappointment,withrage,withmortification。Hepushedwithhisleftarm,openingthehandwithhaste,asifhehadjustperceivedthathegotholdbyaccidentofsomethingrepulsive——
andhewatchedwithstupefiedeyesWillemstotteringbackwardsingropingstrides,thewhitesleeveofhisjacketacrosshisface。
Hewatchedhisdistancefromthatmanincrease,whileheremainedmotionless,withoutbeingabletoaccounttohimselfforthefactthatsomuchemptyspacehadcomeinbetweenthem。Itshouldhavebeentheotherway。Theyoughttohavebeenveryclose,and……Ah!Hewouldn’tfight,hewouldn’tresist,hewouldn’tdefendhimself!Acur!Evidentlyacur!……Hewasamazedandaggrieved——profoundly——bitterly——withtheimmenseandblankdesolationofasmallchildrobbedofatoy。Heshouted——
unbelieving:
\"Willyoubeacheattotheend?\"
Hewaitedforsomeanswer。Hewaitedanxiouslywithanimpatiencethatseemedtolifthimoffhisfeet。Hewaitedforsomeword,somesign;forsomethreateningstir。Nothing!Onlytwounwinkingeyesglitteredintentlyathimabovethewhitesleeve。Hesawtheraisedarmdetachitselffromthefaceandsinkalongthebody。Awhitecladarm,withabigstainonthewhitesleeve。Aredstain。Therewasacutonthecheek。Itbled。Thenosebledtoo。Thebloodrandown,madeonemoustachelooklikeadarkragstuckoverthelip,andwentoninawetstreakdowntheclippedbeardononesideofthechin。Adropofbloodhungontheendofsomehairsthatweregluedtogether;ithungforawhileandtookaleapdownontheground。Manymorefollowed,leapingoneafteranotherinclosefile。Onealightedonthebreastandglideddowninstantlywithdeviousvivacity,likeasmallinsectrunningaway;itleftanarrowdarktrackonthewhiteskin。Helookedatit,lookedatthetinyandactivedrops,lookedatwhathehaddone,withobscuresatisfaction,withanger,withregret。Thiswasn’tmuchlikeanactofjustice。Hehadadesiretogoupnearertotheman,tohearhimspeak,tohearhimsaysomethingatrociousandwickedthatwouldjustifytheviolenceoftheblow。Hemadeanattempttomove,andbecameawareofacloseembraceroundbothhislegs,justabovetheankles。Instinctively,hekickedoutwithhisfoot,brokethroughtheclosebondandfeltatoncetheclasptransferredtohisotherleg;theclaspwarm,desperateandsoft,ofhumanarms。Helookeddownbewildered。Hesawthebodyofthewomanstretchedatlength,flattenedonthegroundlikeadarkbluerag。Shetrailedfacedownwards,clingingtohislegwithbotharmsinatenacioushug。Hesawthetopofherhead,thelongblackhairstreamingoverhisfoot,alloverthebeatenearth,aroundhisboot。Hecouldn’tseehisfootforit。Heheardtheshortandrepeatedmoaningofherbreath。Heimaginedtheinvisiblefaceclosetohisheel。Withonekickintothatfacehecouldfreehimself。Hedarednotstir,andshouteddown——
\"Letgo!Letgo!Letgo!\"
Theonlyresultofhisshoutingwasatighteningofthepressureofherarms。Withatremendousefforthetriedtobringhisrightfootuptohisleft,andsucceededpartly。Hehearddistinctlytherubofherbodyonthegroundashejerkedheralong。Hetriedtodisengagehimselfbydrawinguphisfoot。Hestamped。Heheardavoicesayingsharply——
\"Steady,CaptainLingard,steady!\"
HiseyesflewbacktoWillemsatthesoundofthatvoice,and,inthequickawakeningofsleepingmemories,Lingardstoodsuddenlystill,appeasedbytheclearringoffamiliarwords。Appeasedasindaysofold,whentheyweretradingtogether,whenWillemswashistrustedandhelpfulcompanioninout-of-the-wayanddangerousplaces;whenthatfellow,whocouldkeephistempersomuchbetterthanhecouldhimself,hadsparedhimmanyadifficulty,hadsavedhimfrommanyanactofhastyviolencebythetimelyandgood-humouredwarning,whisperedorshouted,\"Steady,CaptainLingard,steady。\"Asmartfellow。Hehadbroughthimup。Thesmartestfellowintheislands。Ifhehadonlystayedwithhim,thenallthis……HecalledouttoWillems——
\"Tellhertoletmegoor……\"
HeheardWillemsshoutingsomething,waitedforawhile,thenglancedvaguelydownandsawthewomanstillstretchedoutperfectlymuteandunstirring,withherheadathisfeet。Hefeltanervousimpatiencethat,somehow,resembledfear。
\"Tellhertoletgo,togoaway,Willems,Itellyou。I’vehadenoughofthis,\"hecried。
\"Allright,CaptainLingard,\"answeredthecalmvoiceofWillems,\"shehasletgo。Takeyourfootoffherhair;shecan’tgetup。\"
Lingardleapedaside,cleanaway,andspunroundquickly。Hesawhersitupandcoverherfacewithbothhands,thenheturnedslowlyonhisheelandlookedattheman。Willemsheldhimselfverystraight,butwasunsteadyonhisfeet,andmovedaboutnearlyonthesamespot,likeatipsymanattemptingtopreservehisbalance。Aftergazingathimforawhile,Lingardcalled,rancorousandirritable——
\"Whathaveyougottosayforyourself?\"
Willemsbegantowalktowardshim。Hewalkedslowly,reelingalittlebeforehetookeachstep,andLingardsawhimputhishandtohisface,thenlookatitholdingituptohiseyes,asifhehadthere,concealedinthehollowofthepalm,somesmallobjectwhichhewantedtoexaminesecretly。Suddenlyhedrewit,withabrusquemovement,downthefrontofhisjacketandleftalongsmudge。
\"That’safinethingtodo,\"saidWillems。
HestoodinfrontofLingard,oneofhiseyessunkdeepintheincreasingswellingofhischeek,stillrepeatingmechanicallythemovementoffeelinghisdamagedface;andeverytimehedidthishepressedthepalmtosomecleanspotonhisjacket,coveringthewhitecottonwithbloodyimprintsasofsomedeformedandmonstroushand。Lingardsaidnothing,lookingon。
AtlastWillemsleftoffstaunchingthebloodandstood,hisarmshangingbyhisside,withhisfacestiffanddistortedunderthepatchesofcoagulatedblood;andheseemedasthoughhehadbeensetupthereforawarning:anincomprehensiblefiguremarkedalloverwithsomeawfulandsymbolicsignsofdeadlyimport。
Speakingwithdifficulty,herepeatedinareproachfultone——
\"Thatwasafinethingtodo。\"
\"Afterall,\"answeredLingard,bitterly,\"Ihadtoogoodanopinionofyou。\"
\"AndIofyou。Don’tyouseethatIcouldhavehadthatfoolovertherekilledandthewholethingburnttotheground,sweptoffthefaceoftheearth。Youwouldn’thavefoundasmuchasaheapofasheshadIliked。Icouldhavedoneallthat。AndI
wouldn’t。\"
\"You——could——not。Youdarednot。Youscoundrel!\"criedLingard。
\"What’stheuseofcallingmenames?\"
\"True,\"retortedLingard——\"there’snonamebadenoughforyou。\"
Therewasashortintervalofsilence。Atthesoundoftheirrapidlyexchangedwords,Aissahadgotupfromthegroundwhereshehadbeensitting,inasorrowfulanddejectedpose,andapproachedthetwomen。Shestoodononesideandlookedoneagerly,inadesperateeffortofherbrain,withthequickanddistractedeyesofapersontryingforherlifetopenetratethemeaningofsentencesutteredinaforeigntongue:themeaningportentousandfatefulthatlurksinthesoundsofmysteriouswords;inthesoundssurprising,unknownandstrange。
WillemsletthelastspeechofLingardpassby;seemedbyaslightmovementofhishandtohelpitonitswaytojointheothershadowsofthepast。Thenhesaid——
\"Youhavestruckme;youhaveinsultedme……\"
\"Insultedyou!\"interruptedLingard,passionately。\"Who——whatcaninsultyou……you……\"
Hechoked,advancedastep。
\"Steady!steady!\"saidWillemscalmly。\"ItellyouIsha’n’tfight。IsitclearenoughtoyouthatIsha’n’t?
I——shall——not——lift——a——finger。\"
Ashespoke,slowlypunctuatingeachwordwithaslightjerkofhishead,hestaredatLingard,hisrighteyeopenandbig,theleftsmallandnearlyclosedbytheswellingofonehalfofhisface,thatappearedalldrawnoutononesidelikefacesseeninaconcaveglass。Andtheystoodexactlyoppositeeachother:onetall,slightanddisfigured;theothertall,heavyandsevere。
Willemswenton——
\"IfIhadwantedtohurtyou——ifIhadwantedtodestroyyou,itwaseasy。Istoodinthedoorwaylongenoughtopullatrigger——andyouknowIshootstraight。\"
\"Youwouldhavemissed,\"saidLingard,withassurance。\"Thereis,underheaven,suchathingasjustice。\"
Thesoundofthatwordonhisownlipsmadehimpause,confused,likeanunexpectedandunanswerablerebuke。Theangerofhisoutragedpride,theangerofhisoutragedheart,hadgoneoutintheblow;andthereremainednothingbutthesenseofsomeimmenseinfamy——ofsomethingvague,disgustingandterrible,whichseemedtosurroundhimonallsides,hoverabouthimwithshadowyandstealthymovements,likeabandofassassinsinthedarknessofvastandunsafeplaces。Wasthere,underheaven,suchathingasjustice?Helookedatthemanbeforehimwithsuchanintensityofprolongedglancethatheseemedtoseerightthroughhim,thatatlasthesawbutafloatingandunsteadymistinhumanshape。Woulditblowawaybeforethefirstbreathofthebreezeandleavenothingbehind?
ThesoundofWillems’voicemadehimstartviolently。Willemswassaying——
\"Ihavealwaysledavirtuouslife;youknowIhave。Youalwayspraisedmeformysteadiness;youknowyouhave。YouknowalsoI
neverstole——ifthat’swhatyou’rethinkingof。Iborrowed。YouknowhowmuchIrepaid。Itwasanerrorofjudgment。Butthenconsidermypositionthere。Ihadbeenalittleunluckyinmyprivateaffairs,andhaddebts。CouldIletmyselfgounderbeforetheeyesofallthosemenwhoenviedme?Butthat’sallover。Itwasanerrorofjudgment。I’vepaidforit。Anerrorofjudgment。\"
Lingard,astoundedintoperfectstillness,lookeddown。HelookeddownatWillems’barefeet。Then,astheotherhadpaused,herepeatedinablanktone——
\"Anerrorofjudgment……\"
\"Yes,\"drawledoutWillems,thoughtfully,andwentonwithincreasinganimation:\"AsIsaid,Ihavealwaysledavirtuouslife。MoresothanHudig——thanyou。Yes,thanyou。Idrankalittle,Iplayedcardsalittle。Whodoesn’t?ButIhadprinciplesfromaboy。Yes,principles。Businessisbusiness,andIneverwasanass。Ineverrespectedfools。Theyhadtosufferfortheirfollywhentheydealtwithme。Theevilwasinthem,notinme。Butastoprinciples,it’sanothermatter。I
keptclearofwomen。It’sforbidden——Ihadnotime——andI
despisedthem。NowIhatethem!\"
Heputhistongueoutalittle;atonguewhosepinkandmoistendranhereandthere,likesomethingindependentlyalive,underhisswollenandblackenedlip;hetouchedwiththetipsofhisfingersthecutonhischeek,feltallrounditwithprecaution:
andtheunharmedsideofhisfaceappearedforamomenttobepreoccupiedanduneasyaboutthestateofthatothersidewhichwassoverysoreandstiff。
Herecommencedspeaking,andhisvoicevibratedasthoughwithrepressedemotionofsomekind。
\"Youaskmywife,whenyouseeherinMacassar,whetherIhavenoreasontohateher。Shewasnobody,andImadeherMrs。Willems。
Ahalf-castegirl!Youaskherhowsheshowedhergratitudetome。Youask……Nevermindthat。Well,youcameanddumpedmeherelikealoadofrubbish;dumpedmehereandleftmewithnothingtodo——nothinggoodtoremember——anddamnlittletohopefor。Youleftmehereatthemercyofthatfool,Almayer,whosuspectedmeofsomething。Ofwhat?Devilonlyknows。Buthesuspectedandhatedmefromthefirst;Isupposebecauseyoubefriendedme。Oh!Icouldreadhimlikeabook。Heisn’tverydeep,yourSambirpartner,CaptainLingard,butheknowshowtobedisagreeable。Monthspassed。IthoughtIwoulddieofsheerweariness,ofmythoughts,ofmyregretsAndthen……\"
HemadeaquickstepnearertoLingard,andasifmovedbythesamethought,bythesameinstinct,bytheimpulseofhiswill,Aissaalsosteppednearertothem。Theystoodinaclosegroup,andthetwomencouldfeelthecalmairbetweentheirfacesstirredbythelightbreathoftheanxiouswomanwhoenvelopedthembothintheuncomprehending,inthedespairingandwonderingglancesofherwildandmournfuleyes。
CHAPTERFIVE
Willemsturnedalittlefromherandspokelower。
\"Lookatthat,\"hesaid,withanalmostimperceptiblemovementofhisheadtowardsthewomantowhomhewaspresentinghisshoulder。\"Lookatthat!Don’tbelieveher!Whathasshebeensayingtoyou?What?Ihavebeenasleep。Hadtosleepatlast。
I’vebeenwaitingforyouthreedaysandnights。Ihadtosleepsometime。Hadn’tI?Itoldhertoremainawakeandwatchforyou,andcallmeatonce。Shedidwatch。Youcan’tbelieveher。
Youcan’tbelieveanywoman。Whocantellwhat’sinsidetheirheads?Noone。Youcanknownothing。Theonlythingyoucanknowisthatitisn’tanythinglikewhatcomesthroughtheirlips。Theylivebythesideofyou。Theyseemtohateyou,ortheyseemtoloveyou;theycaressortormentyou;theythrowyouoverorsticktoyoucloserthanyourskinforsomeinscrutableandawfulreasonoftheirown——whichyoucanneverknow!Lookather——andlookatme。Atme!——herinfernalwork。Whathasshebeensaying?\"
Hisvoicehadsunktoawhisper。Lingardlistenedwithgreatattention,holdinghischininhishand,whichgraspedagreathandfulofhiswhitebeard。Hiselbowwasinthepalmofhisotherhand,andhiseyeswerestillfixedontheground。Hemurmured,withoutlookingup——
\"Shebeggedmeforyourlife——ifyouwanttoknow——asifthethingwereworthgivingortaking!\"
\"Andforthreedaysshebeggedmetotakeyours,\"saidWillemsquickly。\"Forthreedaysshewouldn’tgivemeanypeace。Shewasneverstill。Sheplannedambushes。ShehasbeenlookingforplacesalloverherewhereIcouldhideanddropyouwithasafeshotasyouwalkedup。It’strue。Igiveyoumyword。\"
\"Yourword,\"mutteredLingard,contemptuously。
Willemstooknonotice。
\"Ah!Sheisaferociouscreature,\"hewenton。\"Youdon’tknow……Iwantedtopassthetime——todosomething——tohavesomethingtothinkabout——toforgetmytroublestillyoucameback。And……lookather……shetookmeasifIdidnotbelongtomyself。Shedid。Ididnotknowtherewassomethinginmeshecouldgetholdof。She,asavage。I,acivilizedEuropean,andclever!Shethatknewnomorethanawildanimal!
Well,shefoundoutsomethinginme。Shefounditout,andIwaslost。Iknewit。Shetormentedme。Iwasreadytodoanything。
Iresisted——butIwasready。Iknewthattoo。Thatfrightenedmemorethananything;morethanmyownsufferings;andthatwasfrightfulenough,Iassureyou。\"
Lingardlistened,fascinatedandamazedlikeachildlisteningtoafairytale,and,whenWillemsstoppedforbreath,heshuffledhisfeetalittle。
\"Whatdoeshesay?\"criedoutAissa,suddenly。
Thetwomenlookedatherquickly,andthenlookedatoneanother。
Willemsbeganagain,speakinghurriedly——
\"Itriedtodosomething。Takeherawayfromthosepeople。I
wenttoAlmayer;thebiggestblindfoolthatyouever……ThenAbdullacame——andshewentaway。ShetookawaywithhersomethingofmewhichIhadtogetback。Ihadtodoit。Asfarasyouareconcerned,thechangeherehadtohappensoonerorlater;youcouldn’tbemasterhereforever。Itisn’twhatI
havedonethattormentsme。Itisthewhy。It’sthemadnessthatdrovemetoit。It’sthatthingthatcameoverme。Thatmaycomeagain,someday。\"
\"Itwilldonoharmtoanybodythen,Ipromiseyou,\"saidLingard,significantly。
Willemslookedathimforasecondwithablankstare,thenwenton——
\"Ifoughtagainsther。Shegoadedmetoviolenceandtomurder。
Nobodyknowswhy。Shepushedmetoitpersistently,desperately,allthetime。FortunatelyAbdullahadsense。Idon’tknowwhatIwouldn’thavedone。Sheheldmethen。Heldmelikeanightmarethatisterribleandsweet。Byandbyitwasanotherlife。Iwokeup。Ifoundmyselfbesideananimalasfullofharmasawildcat。Youdon’tknowthroughwhatIhavepassed。
Herfathertriedtokillme——andsheverynearlykilledhim。I
believeshewouldhavestuckatnothing。Idon’tknowwhichwasmoreterrible!Shewouldhavestuckatnothingtodefendherown。AndwhenIthinkthatitwasme——me——Willems……Ihateher。To-morrowshemaywantmylife。HowcanIknowwhat’sinher?Shemaywanttokillmenext!\"
Hepausedingreattrepidation,thenaddedinascaredtone——
\"Idon’twanttodiehere。\"
\"Don’tyou?\"saidLingard,thoughtfully。
WillemsturnedtowardsAissaandpointedatherwithabonyforefinger。
\"Lookather!Alwaysthere。Alwaysnear。Alwayswatching,watching……forsomething。Lookathereyes。Ain’ttheybig?
Don’ttheystare?Youwouldn’tthinkshecanshutthemlikehumanbeingsdo。Idon’tbelievesheeverdoes。Igotosleep,ifIcan,undertheirstare,andwhenIwakeupIseethemfixedonmeandmovingnomorethantheeyesofacorpse。WhileIamstilltheyarestill。ByGod——shecan’tmovethemtillIstir,andthentheyfollowmelikeapairofjailers。Theywatchme;
whenIstoptheyseemtowaitpatientandglisteningtillIamoffmyguard——fortodosomething。Todosomethinghorrible。
Lookatthem!Youcanseenothinginthem。Theyarebig,menacing——andempty。Theeyesofasavage;ofadamnedmongrel,half-Arab,half-Malay。Theyhurtme!Iamwhite!IsweartoyouIcan’tstandthis!Takemeaway。Iamwhite!Allwhite!\"
Heshoutedtowardsthesombreheaven,proclaimingdesperatelyunderthefrownofthickeningcloudsthefactofhispureandsuperiordescent。Heshouted,hisheadthrownup,hisarmsswingingaboutwildly;lean,ragged,disfigured;atallmadmanmakingagreatdisturbanceaboutsomethinginvisible;abeingabsurd,repulsive,pathetic,anddroll。Lingard,whowaslookingdownasifabsorbedindeepthought,gavehimaquickglancefromunderhiseyebrows:Aissastoodwithclaspedhands。Attheotherendofthecourtyardtheoldwoman,likeavagueanddecrepitapparition,rosenoiselesslytolook,thensankdownagainwithastealthymovementandcrouchedlowoverthesmallglowofthefire。Willems’voicefilledtheenclosure,risinglouderwitheveryword,andthen,suddenly,atitsveryloudest,stoppedshort——likewaterstopsrunningfromanover-turnedvessel。Assoonasithadceasedthethunderseemedtotakeuptheburdeninalowgrowlcomingfromtheinlandhills。Thenoiseapproachedinconfusedmutteringswhichkeptonincreasing,swellingintoaroarthatcamenearer,rusheddowntheriver,passedcloseinatearingcrash——andinstantlysoundedfaint,dyingawayinmonotonousanddullrepetitionsamongsttheendlesssinuositiesofthelowerreaches。Overthegreatforests,overalltheinnumerablepeopleofunstirringtrees——overallthatlivingpeopleimmense,motionless,andmute——thesilence,thathadrushedinonthetrackofthepassingtumult,remainedsuspendedasdeepandcompleteasifithadneverbeendisturbedfromthebeginningofremoteages。Then,throughit,afteratime,cametoLingard’searsthevoiceoftherunningriver:avoicelow,discreet,andsad,likethepersistentandgentlevoicesthatspeakofthepastinthesilenceofdreams。
Hefeltagreatemptinessinhisheart。Itseemedtohimthattherewaswithinhisbreastagreatspacewithoutanylight,wherehisthoughtswanderedforlornly,unabletoescape,unabletorest,unabletodie,tovanish——andtorelievehimfromthefearfuloppressionoftheirexistence。Speech,action,anger,forgiveness,allappearedtohimalikeuselessandvain,appearedtohimunsatisfactory,notworththeeffortofhandorbrainthatwasneededtogivethemeffect。Hecouldnotseewhyheshouldnotremainstandingthere,withouteverdoinganything,totheendoftime。Hefeltsomething,somethinglikeaheavychain,thatheldhimthere。Thiswouldn’tdo。HebackedawayalittlefromWillemsandAissa,leavingthemclosetogether,thenstoppedandlookedatboth。Themanandthewomanappearedtohimmuchfurtherthantheyreallywere。Hehadmadeonlyaboutthreestepsbackward,buthebelievedforamomentthatanotherstepwouldtakehimoutofearshotforever。Theyappearedtohimslightlyunderlifesize,andwithagreatcleannessofoutlines,likefigurescarvedwithgreatprecisionofdetailandhighlyfinishedbyaskilfulhand。Hepulledhimselftogether。Thestrongconsciousnessofhisownpersonalitycamebacktohim。Hehadanotionofsurveyingthemfromagreatandinaccessibleheight。
Hesaidslowly:\"Youhavebeenpossessedofadevil。\"
\"Yes,\"answeredWillemsgloomily,andlookingatAissa。\"Isn’titpretty?\"
\"I’veheardthiskindoftalkbefore,\"saidLingard,inascornfultone;thenpaused,andwentonsteadilyafterawhile:
\"Iregretnothing。Ipickedyouupbythewaterside,likeastarvingcat——byGod。Iregretnothing;nothingthatIhavedone。Abdulla——twentyothers——nodoubtHudighimself,wereafterme。That’sbusiness——forthem。Butthatyoushould……Moneybelongstohimwhopicksitupandisstrongenoughtokeepit——butthisthingwasdifferent。Itwaspartofmylife……
Iamanoldfool。\"
Hewas。Thebreathofhiswords,oftheverywordshespoke,fannedthesparkofdivinefollyinhisbreast,thesparkthatmadehim——thehard-headed,heavy-handedadventurer——standoutfromthecrowd,fromthesordid,fromthejoyous,unscrupulous,andnoisycrowdofmenthatweresomuchlikehimself。
Willemssaidhurriedly:\"Itwasn’tme。Theevilwasnotinme,CaptainLingard。\"
\"Andwhereelseconfoundyou!Whereelse?\"interruptedLingard,raisinghisvoice。\"Didyoueverseemecheatandlieandsteal?
Tellmethat。Didyou?Hey?IwonderwhereinperditionyoucamefromwhenIfoundyouundermyfeet……Nomatter。Youwilldonomoreharm。\"
Willemsmovednearer,gazinguponhimanxiously。Lingardwentonwithdistinctdeliberation——
\"Whatdidyouexpectwhenyouaskedmetoseeyou?What?Youknowme。IamLingard。Youlivedwithme。You’veheardmenspeak。Youknewwhatyouhaddone。Well!Whatdidyouexpect?\"
\"HowcanIknow?\"groanedWillems,wringinghishands;\"Iwasaloneinthatinfernalsavagecrowd。Iwasdeliveredintotheirhands。Afterthethingwasdone,IfeltsolostandweakthatI
wouldhavecalledthedevilhimselftomyaidifithadbeenanygood——ifhehadn’tputinallhisworkalready。Inthewholeworldtherewasonlyonemanthathadevercaredforme。Onlyonewhiteman。You!Hateisbetterthanbeingalone!Deathisbetter!Iexpected……anything。Somethingtoexpect。
Somethingtotakemeoutofthis。Outofhersight!\"
Helaughed。Hislaughseemedtobetornoutfromhimagainsthiswill,seemedtobebroughtviolentlyonthesurfacefromunderhisbitterness,hisself-contempt,fromunderhisdespairingwonderathisownnature。
\"WhenIthinkthatwhenIfirstknewheritseemedtomethatmywholelifewouldn’tbeenoughto……AndnowwhenIlookather!Shediditall。Imusthavebeenmad。Iwasmad。EverytimeIlookatherIremembermymadness。Itfrightensme……
AndwhenIthinkthatofallmylife,ofallmypast,ofallmyfuture,ofmyintelligence,ofmywork,thereisnothingleftbutshe,thecauseofmyruin,andyouwhomIhavemortallyoffended……\"
Hehidhisfaceforamomentinhishands,andwhenhetookthemawayhehadlosttheappearanceofcomparativecalmandgavewaytoawilddistress。
\"CaptainLingard……anything……adesertedisland……
anywhere……Ipromise……\"
\"Shutup!\"shoutedLingard,roughly。
Hebecamedumb,suddenly,completely。
Thewanlightofthecloudedmorningretiredslowlyfromthecourtyard,fromtheclearings,fromtheriver,asifithadgoneunwillinglytohideintheenigmaticalsolitudesofthegloomyandsilentforests。Thecloudsovertheirheadsthickenedintoalowvaultofuniformblackness。Theairwasstillandinexpressiblyoppressive。Lingardunbuttonedhisjacket,flungitwideopenand,inclininghisbodysidewaysalittle,wipedhisforeheadwithhishand,whichhejerkedsharplyafterwards。ThenhelookedatWillemsandsaid——
\"Nopromiseofyoursisanygoodtome。Iamgoingtotakeyourconductintomyownhands。PayattentiontowhatIamgoingtosay。Youaremyprisoner。\"
Willems’headmovedimperceptibly;thenhebecamerigidandstill。Heseemednottobreathe。
\"Youshallstayhere,\"continuedLingard,withsombredeliberation。\"Youarenotfittogoamongstpeople。Whocouldsuspect,whocouldguess,whocouldimaginewhat’sinyou?I
couldn’t!Youaremymistake。Ishallhideyouhere。IfIletyououtyouwouldgoamongstunsuspectingmen,andlie,andsteal,andcheatforalittlemoneyorforsomewoman。Idon’tcareaboutshootingyou。Itwouldbethesafestwaythough。ButIwon’t。Donotexpectmetoforgiveyou。Toforgiveonemusthavebeenangryandbecomecontemptuous,andthereisnothinginmenow——noanger,nocontempt,nodisappointment。TomeyouarenotWillems,themanIbefriendedandhelpedthroughthickandthin,andthoughtmuchof……Youarenotahumanbeingthatmaybedestroyedorforgiven。Youareabitterthought,asomethingwithoutabodyandthatmustbehidden……Youaremyshame。\"
Heceasedandlookedslowlyround。Howdarkitwas!Itseemedtohimthatthelightwasdyingprematurelyoutoftheworldandthattheairwasalreadydead。
\"Ofcourse,\"hewenton,\"Ishallseetoitthatyoudon’tstarve。\"
\"Youdon’tmeantosaythatImustlivehere,CaptainLingard?\"
saidWillems,inakindofmechanicalvoicewithoutanyinflections。
\"DidyoueverhearmesaysomethingIdidnotmean?\"askedLingard。\"Yousaidyoudidn’twanttodiehere——well,youmustlive……Unlessyouchangeyourmind,\"headded,asifininvoluntaryafterthought。
HelookedatWillemsnarrowly,thenshookhishead。
\"Youarealone,\"hewenton。\"Nothingcanhelpyou。Nobodywill。Youareneitherwhitenorbrown。Youhavenocolourasyouhavenoheart。YouraccompliceshaveabandonedyoutomebecauseIamstillsomebodytobereckonedwith。Youarealonebutforthatwomanthere。Yousayyoudidthisforher。Well,youhaveher。\"
Willemsmumbledsomething,andthensuddenlycaughthishairwithbothhishandsandremainedstandingso。Aissa,whohadbeenlookingathim,turnedtoLingard。
\"Whatdidyousay,RajahLaut?\"shecried。
Therewasaslightstiramongstthefilmythreadsofherdisorderedhair,thebushesbytheriversidestrembled,thebigtreenoddedprecipitatelyoverthemwithanabruptrustle,asifwakingwithastartfromatroubledsleep——andthebreathofhotbreezepassed,light,rapid,andscorching,underthecloudsthatwhirledround,unbrokenbutundulating,likearestlessphantomofasombresea。
Lingardlookedatherpityinglybeforehesaid——
\"Ihavetoldhimthathemustlivehereallhislife……andwithyou。\"
Thesunseemedtohavegoneoutatlastlikeaflickeringlightawayupbeyondtheclouds,andinthestiflinggloomofthecourtyardthethreefiguresstoodcolourlessandshadowy,asifsurroundedbyablackandsuperheatedmist。AissalookedatWillems,whoremainedstill,asthoughhehadbeenchangedintostoneintheveryactoftearinghishair。ThensheturnedherheadtowardsLingardandshouted——
\"Youlie!Youlie!……Whiteman。Likeyoualldo。You……whomAbdullamadesmall。Youlie!\"
Herwordsrangoutshrillandvenomouswithhersecretscorn,withheroverpoweringdesiretowoundregardlessofconsequences;
inherwoman’srecklessdesiretocausesufferingatanycost,tocauseitbythesoundofherownvoice——byherownvoice,thatwouldcarrythepoisonofherthoughtintothehatedheart。
Willemslethishandsfall,andbegantomumbleagain。Lingardturnedhiseartowardshiminstinctively,caughtsomethingthatsoundedlike\"Verywell\"——thensomemoremumbling——thenasigh。
\"Asfarastherestoftheworldisconcerned,\"saidLingard,afterwaitingforawhileinanattentiveattitude,\"yourlifeisfinished。Nobodywillbeabletothrowanyofyourvillainiesinmyteeth;nobodywillbeabletopointatyouandsay,’HeregoesascoundrelofLingard’sup-bringing。’Youareburiedhere。\"
\"AndyouthinkthatIwillstay……thatIwillsubmit?\"
exclaimedWillems,asifhehadsuddenlyrecoveredthepowerofspeech。
\"Youneedn’tstayhere——onthisspot,\"saidLingard,drily。
\"Therearetheforests——andhereistheriver。Youmayswim。
Fifteenmilesup,orfortydown。AtoneendyouwillmeetAlmayer,attheotherthesea。Takeyourchoice。\"
Heburstintoashort,joylesslaugh,thenaddedwithseveregravity——
\"Thereisalsoanotherway。\"
\"Ifyouwanttodrivemysoulintodamnationbytryingtodrivemetosuicideyouwillnotsucceed,\"saidWillemsinwildexcitement。\"Iwilllive。Ishallrepent。Imayescape……
Takethatwomanaway——sheissin。\"
Ahookeddartoffiretoreintwothedarknessofthedistanthorizonandlitupthegloomoftheearthwithadazzlingandghastlyflame。Thenthethunderwasheardfaraway,likeanincrediblyenormousvoicemutteringmenaces。
Lingardsaid——
\"Idon’tcarewhathappens,butImaytellyouthatwithoutthatwomanyourlifeisnotworthmuch——nottwopence。Thereisafellowherewho……andAbdullahimselfwouldn’tstandonanyceremony。Thinkofthat!Andthenshewon’tgo。\"
Hebegan,evenwhilehespoke,towalkslowlydowntowardsthelittlegate。Hedidn’tlook,buthefeltassurethatWillemswasfollowinghimasifhehadbeenleadinghimbyastring。
Directlyhehadpassedthroughthewicket-gateintothebigcourtyardheheardavoice,behindhisback,saying——
\"Ithinkshewasright。Ioughttohaveshotyou。Icouldn’thavebeenworseoff。\"
\"Timeyet,\"answeredLingard,withoutstoppingorlookingback。
\"But,yousee,youcan’t。Thereisnoteventhatinyou。\"
\"Don’tprovokeme,CaptainLingard,\"criedWillems。
Lingardturnedroundsharply。WillemsandAissastopped。
Anotherforkedflashoflightningsplitupthecloudsoverhead,andthrewupontheirfacesasuddenburstoflight——ablazeviolent,sinisterandfleeting;andinthesameinstanttheyweredeafenedbyanear,singlecrashofthunder,whichwasfollowedbyarushingnoise,likeafrightenedsighofthestartledearth。
\"Provokeyou!\"saidtheoldadventurer,assoonashecouldmakehimselfheard。\"Provokeyou!Hey!What’sthereinyoutoprovoke?WhatdoIcare?\"
\"Itiseasytospeaklikethatwhenyouknowthatinthewholeworld——inthewholeworld——Ihavenofriend,\"saidWillems。
\"Whosefault?\"saidLingard,sharply。
Theirvoices,afterthedeepandtremendousnoise,soundedtothemveryunsatisfactory——thinandfrail,likethevoicesofpigmies——andtheybecamesuddenlysilent,asifonthataccount。
FromupthecourtyardLingard’sboatmencamedownandpassedthem,keepingstepinasinglefile,theirpaddlesonshoulder,andholdingtheirheadsstraightwiththeireyesfixedontheriver。Ali,whowaswalkinglast,stoppedbeforeLingard,verystiffandupright。Hesaid——
\"Thatone-eyedBabalatchiisgone,withallhiswomen。Hetookeverything。Allthepotsandboxes。Big。Heavy。Threeboxes。\"
Hegrinnedasifthethinghadbeenamusing,thenaddedwithanappearanceofanxiousconcern,\"Raincoming。\"
\"Wereturn,\"saidLingard。\"Makeready。\"
\"Aye,aye,sir!\"ejaculatedAliwithprecision,andmovedon。HehadbeenquartermasterwithLingardbeforemakinguphismindtostayinSambirasAlmayer’sheadman。Hestruttedtowardsthelanding-placethinkingproudlythathewasnotlikethoseotherignorantboatmen,andknewhowtoanswerproperlytheverygreatestofwhitecaptains。
\"Youhavemisunderstoodmefromthefirst,CaptainLingard,\"saidWillems。
\"HaveI?It’sallright,aslongasthereisnomistakeaboutmymeaning,\"answeredLingard,strollingslowlytothelanding-place。Willemsfollowedhim,andAissafollowedWillems。
TwohandswereextendedtohelpLingardinembarking。Hesteppedcautiouslyandheavilyintothelongandnarrowcanoe,andsatinthecanvasfolding-chairthathadbeenplacedinthemiddle。Heleanedbackandturnedhisheadtothetwofiguresthatstoodonthebankalittleabovehim。Aissa’seyeswerefastenedonhisfaceinavisibleimpatiencetoseehimgone。Willems’lookwentstraightabovethecanoe,straightattheforestontheothersideoftheriver。
\"Allright,Ali,\"saidLingard,inalowvoice。
Aslightstiranimatedthefaces,andafaintmurmurranalongthelineofpaddlers。Theforemostmanpushedwiththepointofhispaddle,cantedtheforeendoutofthedeadwaterintothecurrent;andthecanoefellrapidlyoffbeforetherushofbrownwater,thesternrubbinggentlyagainstthelowbank。
\"Weshallmeetagain,CaptainLingard!\"criedWillems,inanunsteadyvoice。
\"Never!\"saidLingard,turninghalfroundinhischairtolookatWillems。Hisfierceredeyesglitteredremorselesslyoverthehighbackofhisseat。
\"Mustcrosstheriver。Waterlessquickoverthere,\"saidAli。
Hepushedinhisturnnowwithallhisstrength,throwinghisbodyrecklesslyrightoutoverthestern。Thenherecoveredhimselfjustintimeintothesquattingattitudeofamonkeyperchedonahighshelf,andshouted:\"Dayong!\"
Thepaddlesstruckthewatertogether。Thecanoedartedforwardandwentonsteadilycrossingtheriverwithasidewaysmotionmadeupofitsownspeedandthedownwarddriftofthecurrent。
Lingardwatchedtheshoreastern。Thewomanshookherhandathim,andthensquattedatthefeetofthemanwhostoodmotionless。Afterawhileshegotupandstoodbesidehim,reachinguptohishead——andLingardsawthenthatshehadwettedsomepartofhercoveringandwastryingtowashthedriedbloodofftheman’simmovableface,whichdidnotseemtoknowanythingaboutit。Lingardturnedawayandthrewhimselfbackinhischair,stretchinghislegsoutwithasighoffatigue。Hisheadfellforward;andunderhisredfacethewhitebeardlayfan-likeonhisbreast,theendsoffinelonghairsallastirinthefaintdraughtmadebytherapidmotionofthecraftthatcarriedhimawayfromhisprisoner——fromtheonlythinginhislifehewishedtohide。
InitscourseacrosstheriverthecanoecameintothelineofWillems’sightandhiseyescaughttheimage,followediteagerlyasitglided,smallbutdistinct,onthedarkbackgroundoftheforest。Hecouldseeplainlythefigureofthemansittinginthemiddle。Allhislifehehadfeltthatmanbehindhisback,areassuringpresencereadywithhelp,withcommendation,withadvice;friendlyinreproof,enthusiasticinapprobation;amaninspiringconfidencebyhisstrength,byhisfearlessness,bytheveryweaknessofhissimpleheart。Andnowthatmanwasgoingaway。Hemustcallhimback。
Heshouted,andhiswords,whichhewantedtothrowacrosstheriver,seemedtofallhelplesslyathisfeet。Aissaputherhandonhisarminarestrainingattempt,butheshookitoff。Hewantedtocallbackhisverylifethatwasgoingawayfromhim。
Heshoutedagain——andthistimehedidnotevenhearhimself。Nouse。Hewouldneverreturn。Andhestoodinsullensilencelookingatthewhitefigureoverthere,lyingbackinthechairinthemiddleoftheboat;afigurethatstruckhimsuddenlyasveryterrible,heartlessandastonishing,withitsunnaturalappearanceofrunningoverthewaterinanattitudeoflanguidrepose。
Foratimenothingonearthstirred,seemingly,butthecanoe,whichglidedup-streamwithamotionsoevenandsmooththatitdidnotconveyanysenseofmovement。Overhead,themassedcloudsappearedsolidandsteadyasifheldthereinapowerfulgrip,butontheirunevensurfacetherewasacontinuousandtremblingglimmer,afaintreflectionofthedistantlightningfromthethunderstormthathadbrokenalreadyonthecoastandwasworkingitswayuptheriverwithlowandangrygrowls。
Willemslookedon,asmotionlessaseverythingroundhimandabovehim。Onlyhiseyesseemedtolive,astheyfollowedthecanoeonitscoursethatcarrieditawayfromhim,steadily,unhesitatingly,finally,asifitweregoing,notupthegreatriverintothemomentousexcitementofSambir,butstraightintothepast,intothepastcrowdedyetempty,likeanoldcemeteryfullofneglectedgraves,whereliedeadhopesthatneverreturn。
Fromtimetotimehefeltonhisfacethepassing,warmtouchofanimmensebreathcomingfrombeyondtheforest,liketheshortpantingofanoppressedworld。Thentheheavyairroundhimwaspiercedbyasharpgustofwind,bringingwithitthefresh,dampfeelofthefallingrain;andalltheinnumerabletree-topsoftheforestsswayedtotheleftandsprangbackagaininatumultuousbalancingofnoddingbranchesandshudderingleaves。
Alightfrownranovertheriver,thecloudsstirredslowly,changingtheiraspectbutnottheirplace,asiftheyhadturnedponderouslyover;andwhenthesuddenmovementhaddiedoutinaquickenedtremoroftheslenderesttwigs,therewasashortperiodofformidableimmobilityaboveandbelow,duringwhichthevoiceofthethunderwasheard,speakinginasustained,emphaticandvibratingroll,withviolentlouderburstsofcrashingsound,likeawrathfulandthreateningdiscourseofanangrygod。Foramomentitdiedout,andthenanothergustofwindpassed,drivingbeforeitawhitemistwhichfilledthespacewithacloudofwaterdustthathidsuddenlyfromWillemsthecanoe,theforests,theriveritself;thatwokehimupfromhisnumbnessinaforlornshiver,thatmadehimlookrounddespairinglytoseenothingbutthewhirlingdriftofrainspraybeforethefresheningbreeze,whilethroughittheheavybigdropsfellabouthimwithsonorousandrapidbeatsuponthedryearth。Hemadeafewhurriedstepsupthecourtyardandwasarrestedbyanimmensesheetofwaterthatfellallatonceonhim,fellsuddenandoverwhelmingfromtheclouds,cuttinghisrespiration,streamingoverhishead,clingingtohim,runningdownhisbody,offhisarms,offhislegs。Hestoodgaspingwhilethewaterbeathiminaverticaldownpour,droveonhimslantinginsqualls,andhefeltthedropsstrikinghimfromabove,fromeverywhere;dropsthick,pressedanddashingathimasifflungfromallsidesbyamobofinfuriatedhands。Fromunderhisfeetagreatvapourofbrokenwaterfloatedup,hefeltthegroundbecomesoft——meltunderhim——andsawthewaterspringoutfromthedryearthtomeetthewaterthatfellfromthesombreheaven。Aninsanedreadtookpossessionofhim,thedreadofallthatwateraroundhim,ofthewaterthatrandownthecourtyardtowardshim,ofthewaterthatpressedhimoneveryside,oftheslantingwaterthatdroveacrosshisfaceinwaveringsheetswhichgleamedpaleredwiththeflickeroflightningstreamingthroughthem,asiffireandwaterwerefallingtogether,monstrouslymixed,uponthestunnedearth。
Hewantedtorunaway,butwhenhemoveditwastoslideaboutpainfullyandslowlyuponthatearthwhichhadbecomemudsosuddenlyunderhisfeet。Hefoughthiswayupthecourtyardlikeamanpushingthroughacrowd,hisheaddown,oneshoulderforward,stoppingoften,andsometimescarriedbackapaceortwointherushofwaterwhichhisheartwasnotstoutenoughtoface。Aissafollowedhimstepbystep,stoppingwhenhestopped,recoilingwithhim,movingforwardwithhiminhistoilsomewayuptheslipperydeclivityofthecourtyard,ofthatcourtyard,fromwhicheverythingseemedtohavebeensweptawaybythefirstrushofthemightydownpour。Theycouldseenothing。Thetree,thebushes,thehouse,andthefences——allhaddisappearedinthethicknessofthefallingrain。Theirhairstuck,streaming,totheirheads;theirclothingclungtothem,beatenclosetotheirbodies;waterranoffthem,offtheirheadsovertheirshoulders。
Theymoved,patient,upright,slowanddark,inthegleamclearorfieryofthefallingdrops,undertherollofunceasingthunder,liketwowanderingghostsofthedrownedthat,condemnedtohauntthewaterforever,hadcomeupfromtherivertolookattheworldunderadeluge。
Ontheleftthetreeseemedtostepouttomeetthem,appearingvaguely,high,motionlessandpatient;witharustlingplaintofitsinnumerableleavesthroughwhicheverydropofwatertoreitsseparatewaywithcruelhaste。Andthen,totheright,thehousesurgedupinthemist,veryblack,andclamorouswiththequickpatterofrainonitshigh-pitchedroofabovethesteadysplashofthewaterrunningofftheeaves。Downtheplankwayleadingtothedoorflowedathinandpellucidstream,andwhenWillemsbeganhisascentitbrokeoverhisfootasifheweregoingupasteepravineinthebedofarapidandshallowtorrent。Behindhisheelstwostreamingsmudgesofmudstainedforaninstantthepurityoftherushingwater,andthenhesplashedhiswayupwithaspurtandstoodonthebambooplatformbeforetheopendoorundertheshelteroftheoverhangingeaves——undershelteratlast!
AlowmoanendinginabrokenandplaintivemutterarrestedWillemsonthethreshold。Hepeeredroundinthehalf-lightundertheroofandsawtheoldwomancrouchingclosetothewallinashapelessheap,andwhilehelookedhefeltatouchoftwoarmsonhisshoulders。Aissa!Hehadforgottenher。Heturned,andsheclaspedhimroundtheneckinstantly,pressingclosetohimasifafraidofviolenceorescape。Hestiffenedhimselfinrepulsion,inhorror,inthemysteriousrevoltofhisheart;
whilesheclungtohim——clungtohimasifhewerearefugefrommisery,fromstorm,fromweariness,fromfear,fromdespair;anditwasonthepartofthatbeinganembraceterrible,enragedandmournful,inwhichallherstrengthwentouttomakehimcaptive,toholdhimforever。
Hesaidnothing。Helookedintohereyeswhilehestruggledwithherfingersaboutthenapeofhisneck,andsuddenlyhetoreherhandsapart,holdingherarmsupinastronggripofherwrists,andbendinghisswollenfacecloseoverhers,hesaid——
\"Itisallyourdoing。You……\"
Shedidnotunderstandhim——notaword。Hespokeinthelanguageofhispeople——ofhispeoplethatknownomercyandnoshame。
Andhewasangry。Alas!hewasalwaysangrynow,andalwaysspeakingwordsthatshecouldnotunderstand。Shestoodinsilence,lookingathimthroughherpatienteyes,whileheshookherarmsalittleandthenflungthemdown。
\"Don’tfollowme!\"heshouted。\"Iwanttobealone——Imeantobeleftalone!\"
Hewentin,leavingthedooropen。
Shedidnotmove。Whatneedtounderstandthewordswhentheyarespokeninsuchavoice?Inthatvoicewhichdidnotseemtobehisvoice——hisvoicewhenhespokebythebrook,whenhewasneverangryandalwayssmiling!Hereyeswerefixeduponthedarkdoorway,butherhandsstrayedmechanicallyupwards;shetookupallherhair,and,incliningherheadslightlyoverhershoulder,wrungoutthelongblacktresses,twistingthempersistently,whileshestood,sadandabsorbed,likeonelisteningtoaninwardvoice——thevoiceofbitter,ofunavailingregret。Thethunderhadceased,thewindhaddiedout,andtherainfellperpendicularandsteadythroughagreatpaleclearness——thelightofremotesuncomingvictoriousfromamongstthedissolvingblacknessoftheclouds。Shestoodnearthedoorway。Hewasthere——aloneinthegloomofthedwelling。Hewasthere。Hespokenot。Whatwasinhismindnow?Whatfear?
Whatdesire?Notthedesireofherasinthedayswhenheusedtosmile……Howcouldsheknow?……
Asighcomingfromthebottomofherheart,flewoutintotheworldthroughherpartedlips。Asighfaint,profound,andbroken;asighfullofpainandfear,likethesighofthosewhoareabouttofacetheunknown:tofaceitinloneliness,indoubt,andwithouthope。Sheletgoherhair,thatfellscatteredoverhershoulderslikeafuneralveil,andshesankdownsuddenlybythedoor。Herhandsclaspedherankles;sherestedherheadonherdrawn-upknees,andremainedstill,verystill,underthestreamingmourningofherhair。Shewasthinkingofhim;ofthedaysbythebrook;shewasthinkingofallthathadbeentheirlove——andshesatintheabandonedpostureofthosewhositweepingbythedead,ofthosewhowatchandmournoveracorpse。
PARTV
CHAPTERONE
Almayerpropped,aloneontheverandahofhishouse,withbothhiselbowsonthetable,andholdinghisheadbetweenhishands,staredbeforehim,awayoverthestretchofsproutingyounggrassinhiscourtyard,andovertheshortjettywithitsclusterofsmallcanoes,amongstwhichhisbigwhale-boatfloatedhigh,likeawhitemotherofallthatdarkandaquaticbrood。Hestaredontheriver,pasttheschooneranchoredinmid-stream,pasttheforestsoftheleftbank;hestaredthroughandpasttheillusionofthematerialworld。
Thesunwassinking。Undertheskywasstretchedanetworkofwhitethreads,anetworkfineandclose-meshed,wherehereandtherewerecaughtthickerwhitevapoursofglobularshape;andtotheeastward,abovetheraggedbarrieroftheforests,surgedthesummitsofachainofgreatclouds,growingbiggerslowly,inimperceptiblemotion,asifcarefulnottodisturbtheglowingstillnessoftheearthandofthesky。Abreastofthehousetheriverwasemptybutforthemotionlessschooner。Higherup,asolitarylogcameoutfromthebendaboveandwentondriftingslowlydownthestraightreach:adeadandwanderingtreegoingouttoitsgraveinthesea,betweentworanksoftreesmotionlessandliving。
AndAlmayersat,hisfaceinhishands,lookingonandhatingallthis:themuddyriver;thefadedblueofthesky;theblacklogpassingbyonitsfirstandlastvoyage;thegreenseaofleaves——theseathatglowedshimmered,andstirredabovetheuniformandimpenetrablegloomoftheforests——thejoyousseaoflivinggreenpowderedwiththebrilliantdustofobliquesunrays。
Hehatedallthis;hebegrudgedeveryday——everyminute——ofhislifespentamongstallthesethings;hebegrudgeditbitterly,angrily,withenragedandimmenseregret,likeamisercompelledtogiveupsomeofhistreasuretoanearrelation。Andyetallthiswasveryprecioustohim。Itwasthepresentsignofasplendidfuture。
Hepushedthetableawayimpatiently,gotup,madeafewstepsaimlessly,thenstoodbythebalustradeandagainlookedattheriver——atthatriverwhichwouldhavebeentheinstrumentforthemakingofhisfortuneif……if……
\"Whatanabominablebrute!\"hesaid。
Hewasalone,buthespokealoud,asoneisapttodoundertheimpulseofastrong,ofanovermasteringthought。
\"Whatabrute!\"hemutteredagain。
Theriverwasdarknow,andtheschoonerlayonit,ablack,alonely,andagracefulform,withtheslendermastsdartingupwardsfromitintwofrailandrakinglines。Theshadowsoftheeveningcreptupthetrees,creptupfromboughtobough,tillatlastthelongsunbeamscoursingfromthewesternhorizonskimmedlightlyoverthetopmostbranches,thenflewupwardsamongstthepiled-upclouds,givingthemasombreandfieryaspectinthelastflushoflight。Andsuddenlythelightdisappearedasiflostintheimmensityofthegreat,blue,andemptyhollowoverhead。Thesunhadset:andtheforestsbecameastraightwallofformlessblackness。Abovethem,ontheedgeoflingeringclouds,asinglestarglimmeredfitfully,obscurednowandthenbytherapidflightofhighandinvisiblevapours。
Almayerfoughtwiththeuneasinesswithinhisbreast。HeheardAli,whomovedbehindhimpreparinghiseveningmeal,andhelistenedwithstrangeattentiontothesoundsthemanmade——totheshort,drybangoftheplateputuponthetable,totheclinkofglassandthemetallicrattleofknifeandfork。Themanwentaway。Nowhewascomingback。Hewouldspeakdirectly;andAlmayer,notwithstandingtheabsorbinggravityofhisthoughts,listenedforthesoundofexpectedwords。Heheardthem,spokeninEnglishwithpainstakingdistinctness。
\"Ready,sir!\"
\"Allright,\"saidAlmayer,curtly。Hedidnotmove。Heremainedpensive,withhisbacktothetableuponwhichstoodthelightedlampbroughtbyAli。Hewasthinking:WherewasLingardnow?
Halfwaydowntheriverprobably,inAbdulla’sship。Hewouldbebackinaboutthreedays——perhapsless。Andthen?Thentheschoonerwouldhavetobegotoutoftheriver,andwhenthatcraftwasgonethey——heandLingard——wouldremainhere;alonewiththeconstantthoughtofthatotherman,thatothermanlivingnearthem!Whatanextraordinaryideatokeephimthereforever。Forever!Whatdidthatmean——forever?Perhapsayear,perhapstenyears。Preposterous!Keephimtheretenyears——ormaybetwenty!Thefellowwascapableoflivingmorethantwentyyears。Andforallthattimehewouldhavetobewatched,fed,lookedafter。TherewasnobodybutLingardtohavesuchnotions。Twentyyears!Why,no!Inlessthantenyearstheirfortunewouldbemadeandtheywouldleavethisplace,firstforBatavia——yes,Batavia——andthenforEurope。England,nodoubt。LingardwouldwanttogotoEngland。Andwouldtheyleavethatmanhere?Howwouldthatfellowlookintenyears?
Veryoldprobably。Well,deviltakehim。Ninawouldbefifteen。
Shewouldberichandveryprettyandhehimselfwouldnotbesooldthen……\"
Almayersmiledintothenight……Yes,rich!Why!Ofcourse!CaptainLingardwasaresourcefulman,andhehadplentyofmoneyevennow。Theywererichalready;butnotenough。Decidedlynotenough。Moneybringsmoney。Thatgoldbusinesswasgood。Famous!CaptainLingardwasaremarkableman。Hesaidthegoldwasthere——anditwasthere。Lingardknewwhathewastalkingabout。Buthehadqueerideas。Forinstance,aboutWillems。Nowwhatdidhewanttokeephimalivefor?Why?
\"Thatscoundrel,\"mutteredAlmayeragain。
\"MakanTuan!\"ejaculatedAlisuddenly,veryloudinapressingtone。
Almayerwalkedtothetable,satdown,andhisanxiousvisagedroppedfromaboveintothelightthrowndownbythelamp-shade。
Hehelpedhimselfabsently,andbegantoeatingreatmouthfuls……Undoubtedly,Lingardwasthemantostickto!Themanundismayed,masterfulandready。HowquicklyhehadplannedanewfuturewhenWillems’treacherydestroyedtheirestablishedpositioninSambir!Andthepositionevennowwasnotsobad。
WhatanimmenseprestigethatLingardhadwithallthosepeople——Arabs,Malaysandall。Ah,itwasgoodtobeabletocallamanlikethatfather。Fine!Wonderhowmuchmoneyreallytheoldfellowhad。Peopletalked——theyexaggeratedsurely,butifhehadonlyhalfofwhattheysaid……
Hedrank,throwinghisheadup,andfelltoagain……Now,ifthatWillemshadknownhowtoplayhiscardswell,hadhestucktotheoldfellowhewouldhavebeeninhisposition,hewouldbenowmarriedtoLingard’sadopteddaughterwithhisfutureassured——splendid……
\"Thebeast!\"growledAlmayer,betweentwomouthfuls。
Alistoodrigidlystraightwithanuninterestedface,hisgazelostinthenightwhichpressedroundthesmallcircleoflightthatshoneonthetable,ontheglass,onthebottle,andonAlmayer’sheadasheleanedoverhisplatemovinghisjaws……AfamousmanLingard——yetyouneverknewwhathewoulddonext。ItwasnotoriousthathehadshotawhitemanonceforlessthanWillemshaddone。Forless?……Why,fornothing,sotospeak!Itwasnotevenhisownquarrel。ItwasaboutsomeMalayreturningfrompilgrimagewithwifeandchildren。
Kidnapped,orrobbed,orsomething。Astupidstory——anoldstory。AndnowhegoestoseethatWillemsand——nothing。Comesbacktalkingbigabouthisprisoner;butafterallhesaidverylittle。WhatdidthatWillemstellhim?Whatpassedbetweenthem?Theoldfellowmusthavehadsomethinginhismindwhenheletthatscoundreloff。AndJoanna!Shewouldgetroundtheoldfellow。Sure。Thenhewouldforgiveperhaps。Impossible。Butatanyratehewouldwastealotofmoneyonthem。Theoldmanwastenaciousinhishates,butalsoinhisaffections。HehadknownthatbeastWillemsfromaboy。Theywouldmakeitupinayearorso。Everythingispossible:whydidhenotrushoffatfirstandkillthebrute?ThatwouldhavebeenmorelikeLingard……
Almayerlaiddownhisspoonsuddenly,andpushinghisplateaway,threwhimselfbackinthechair……Unsafe。Decidedlyunsafe。HehadnomindtoshareLingard’smoneywithanybody。Lingard’smoneywasNina’smoneyinasense。AndifWillemsmanagedtobecomefriendlywiththeoldmanitwouldbedangerousforhim——Almayer。Suchanunscrupulousscoundrel!Hewouldousthimfromhisposition。Hewouldlieandslander。Everythingwouldbelost。Lost。PoorNina。Whatwouldbecomeofher?Poorchild。ForhersakehemustremovethatWillems。Must。Buthow?Lingardwantedtobeobeyed。ImpossibletokillWillems。Lingardmightbeangry。
Incredible,butsoitwas。Hemight……
AwaveofheatpassedthroughAlmayer’sbody,flushedhisface,andbrokeoutofhimincopiousperspiration。Hewriggledinhischair,andpressedhishandstogetherunderthetable。Whatanawfulprospect!HefanciedhecouldseeLingardandWillemsreconciledandgoingawayarm-in-arm,leavinghimaloneinthisGod-forsakenhole——inSambir——inthisdeadlyswamp!Andallhissacrifices,thesacrificeofhisindependence,ofhisbestyears,hissurrendertoLingard’sfanciesandcaprices,wouldgofornothing!Horrible!Thenhethoughtofhislittledaughter——hisdaughter!——andtheghastlinessofhissuppositionoverpoweredhim。Hehadadeepemotion,asuddenemotionthatmadehimfeelquitefaintattheideaofthatyounglifespoiledbeforeithadfairlybegun。Hisdearchild’slife!Lyingbackinhischairhecoveredhisfacewithbothhishands。
Aliglanceddownathimandsaid,unconcernedly——\"Masterfinish?\"
Almayerwaslostintheimmensityofhiscommiserationforhimself,forhisdaughter,whowas——perhaps——notgoingtobetherichestwomanintheworld——notwithstandingLingard’spromises。
Hedidnotunderstandtheother’squestion,andmutteredthroughhisfingersinadolefultone——
\"Whatdidyousay?What?Finishwhat?\"
\"Clearupmeza,\"explainedAli。
\"Clearup!\"burstoutAlmayer,withincomprehensibleexasperation。\"Deviltakeyouandthetable。Stupid!
Chatterer!Chelakka!Getout!\"
Heleanedforward,glaringathisheadman,thensankbackinhisseatwithhisarmshangingstraightdownoneachsideofthechair。Andhesatmotionlessinameditationsoconcentratedandsoabsorbing,withallhispowerofthoughtsodeepwithinhimself,thatallexpressiondisappearedfromhisfaceinanaspectofstaringvacancy。
Aliwasclearingthetable。Hedroppednegligentlythetumblerintothegreasydish,flungtherethespoonandfork,thenslippedintheplatewithapushamongsttheremnantsoffood。