MulveyswasthefirstwhenIwasinbedthatmorningandMrsRubiobroughtitinwiththecoffeeshestoodtherestandingwhenIaskedhertohandmeandIpointingatthemIcouldntthinkofthewordahairpintoopenitwithahhorquilladisobligingoldthinganditstaringherinthefacewithherswitchoffalsehaironherandvainaboutherappearanceuglyasshewasnear80ora100herfaceamassofwrinkleswithallherreligiondomineeringbecauseshenevercouldgetovertheAtlanticfleetcominginhalftheshipsoftheworldandtheUnionJackflyingwithallhercarabinerosbecause4drunkenEnglishsailorstookalltherockfromthemandbecauseIdidntrunintomassoftenenoughinSantaMariatopleaseherwithhershawluponherexceptwhentherewasamarriageonwithallhermiraclesofthesaintsandherblackblessedvirginwiththesilverdressandthesundancing3timesonEasterSundaymorningandwhenthepriestwasgoingbywiththebellbringingthevaticantothedyingblessingherselfforhisMajestadanadmirerhesigneditInearjumpedoutofmyskinIwantedtopickhimupwhenIsawhimfollowingmealongtheCalleRealintheshopwindowthenhetippedmejustinpassingIneverthoughthedwritemakinganappointmentIhaditinsidemypetticoatbodicealldayreadingitupineveryholeandcornerwhilefatherwasupatthedrillinstructingtofindoutbythehandwritingorthelanguageofstampssingingIremembershallIwearawhiteroseandIwantedtoputontheoldstupidclocktonearthetimehewasthefirstmankissedmeundertheMoorishwallmysweetheartwhenaboyitneverenteredmyheadwhatkissingmeanttillheputhistongueinmymouthhismouthwassweetlikeyoungIputmykneeuptohimafewtimestolearnthewaywhatdidItellhimIwasengagedforfuntothesonofaSpanishnoblemannamedDonMigueldelaFloraandhebelievedthatIwastobemarriedtohimin3yearstimetheresmanyatruewordspokeninjestthereisaflowerthatbloomethafewthingsItoldhimtrueaboutmyselfjustforhimtobeimaginingtheSpanishgirlshedidntlikeIsupposeoneofthemwouldnthavehimIgothimexcitedhecrushedalltheflowersonmybosomhebroughtmehecouldntcountthepesetasandtheperragordastillItaughthimCappoquinhecamefromhesaidontheBlackwaterbutitwastooshortthenthedaybeforeheleftMayyesitwasMaywhentheinfantkingofSpainwasbornImalwayslikethatinthespringIdlikeanewfelloweveryyearuponthetiptopundertherockgunnearOHarastowerItoldhimitwasstruckbylightningandallabouttheoldBarbaryapestheysenttoClaphamwithoutatailcareeringallovertheshowoneachothersbackMrsRubiosaidshewasaregularoldrockscorpionrobbingthechickensoutofIncesfarmandthrowstonesatyouifyouwentanearhewaslookingatmeIhadthatwhiteblouseonopenatthefronttoencouragehimasmuchasIcouldwithouttooopenlytheywerejustbeginningtobeplumpIsaidIwastiredwelayoverthefirtreecoveawildplaceIsupposeitmustbethehighestrockinexistencethegalleriesandcasematesandthosefrightfulrocksandSaintMichaelscavewiththeiciclesorwhatevertheycallthemhangingdownandladdersallthemudplotchingmybootsImsurethatsthewaydownthemonkeysgoundertheseatoAfricawhentheydietheshipsoutfarlikechipsthatwastheMaltaboatpassingYestheseaandtheskyyoucoulddowhatyoulikedliethereforeverhecaressedthemoutsidetheylovedoingthatitstheroundnessthereIwasleaningoverhimwithmywhitericestrawhattotakethenewnessoutofittheleftsideofmyfacethebestmyblouseopenforhislastdaytransparentkindofshirthehadIcouldseehischestpinkhewantedtotouchminewithhisforamomentbutIwouldn’tlethimhewasawfullyputoutfirstforfearyouneverknowconsumptionorleavemewithachildembarazadathatoldservantInestoldmethatonedropevenifitgotintoyouatallafterItriedwiththeBananabutIwasafraiditmightbreakandgetlostupinmesomewhereyesbecausetheyoncetooksomethingdownoutofawomanthatwasupthereforyearscoveredwithlimesaltstheyreallmadtogetintherewheretheycomeoutofyoudthinktheycouldnevergetfarenoughupandthentheyredonewithyouinawaytillthenexttimeyesbecausetheresawonderfulfeelingthereallthetimesotenderhowdidwefinishitoffyesOyesIpulledhimoffintomyhandkerchiefpretendingnottobeexcitedbutIopenedmylegsIwouldntlethimtouchmeinsidemypetticoatIhadaskirtopeningupthesideItorturedthelifeoutofhimfirstticklinghimIlovedrousingthatdoginthehotelrrrsssstawokwokawokhiseyesshutandabirdflyingbelowushewasshyallthesameIlikedhimlikethatmorningImadehimblushalittlewhenIgotoverhimthatwaywhenIunbuttonedhimandtookhisoutanddrewbacktheskinithadakindofeyeinittheyreallButtonsmendownthemiddleonthewrongsideofthemMollydarlinghecalledmewhatwashisnameJackJoeHarryMulveywasityesIthinkalieutenanthewasratherfairhehadalaughingkindofavoicesoIwentaroundtothewhatyoucalliteverythingwaswhatyoucallitmoustachehadhehesaidhedcomebackLorditsjustlikeyesterdaytomeandifIwasmarriedheddoittomeandIpromisedhimyesfaithfullyIdlethimblockmenowflyingperhapshesdeadorkilledoraCaptainoradmiralitsnearly20yearsifIsaidfirtreecovehewouldifhecameupbehindmeandputhishandsovermyeyestoguesswhoImightrecognisehimhesyoungstillabout40perhapshesmarriedsomegirlontheblackwaterandisquitechangedtheyalldotheyhaventhalfthecharacterawomanhasshelittleknowswhatIdidwithherbelovedhusbandbeforeheeverdreamtofherinbroaddaylighttoointhesightofthewholeworldyoumightsaytheycouldhaveputanarticleaboutitintheChronicleIwasabitwildafterwhenIblewouttheoldbagthebiscuitswereinfromBenadyBrosandexplodeditLordwhatabangallthewoodcocksandpigeonsscreamingcomingbackthesamewaythatwewentovermidd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ppositeusedtobetherethewholetimewatchingwiththelightsoutinthesummerandIinmyskinhoppingaroundIusedtolovemyselfthenstrippedatthewashstanddabbingandcreamingonlywhenitcametothechamberperformanceIputoutthelighttoosothentherewere2ofusGoodbyetomysleepforthisnightanyhowIhopehesnotgoingtogetinwiththosemedicalsleadinghimastraytoimaginehesyoungagaincominginat4inthemorningitmustbeifnotmorestillhehadthemannersnottowakemewhatdotheyfindtogabberaboutallnightsquanderingmoneyandgettingdrunkeranddrunkercouldnttheydrinkwaterthenhestartsgivingushisordersforeggsandteaFindonhaddyandhotbutteredtoastIsupposewellhavehimsittinguplikethekingofthecountrypumpingthewrongendofthespoonupanddowninhiseggwhereverhelearnedthatfromandIlovetohearhimfallingupthestairsofamorningwiththecupsrattlingonthetrayandthenplaywiththecatsherubsupagainstyouforherownsakeIwonderhasshefleasshesasbadasawomanalwayslickingandleckingbutIhatetheirclawsIwonderdotheyseeanythingthatwecantstaringlikethatwhenshesitsatthetopofthestairssolongandlisteningasIwaitalwayswhatarobbertoothatlovelyfreshplaiceIboughtIthinkIllgetabitoffishtomorrowortodayisitFridayyesIwillwithsomeblancmangewithblackcurrantjamlikelongagonotthose2lbpotsofmixedplumandapplefromtheLondonandNewcastleWilliamsandWoodsgoestwiceasfaronlyforthebonesIhatethoseeelscodyesIllgetanicepieceofcodImalwaysgettingenoughfor3forgettinganywayImsickofthateverlastingbutchersmeatfromBuckleysloinchopsandlegbeefandribsteakandscragofmuttonandcalfsplucktheverynameisenoughorapicnicsupposeweallgave5/-eachandorlethimpayandinvitesomeotherwomanforhimwhoMrsFleminganddriveouttothefurryglenorthestrawberrybedswedhavehimexaminingallthehorsestoenailsfirstlikehedoeswiththelettersnonotwithBoylanthereyeswithsomecoldvealandhammixedsandwichestherearelittlehousesdownatthebottomofthebanksthereonpurposebutitsashotasblazeshesaysnotabankholidayanyhowIhatethoseruckofMaryAnncoalboxesoutforthedayWhitMondayisacurseddaytoonowonderthatbeebithimbettertheseasidebutIdneveragaininthislifegetintoaboatwithhimafterhimatBraytellingtheboatmenheknewhowtorowifanyoneaskedcouldheridethesteeplechaseforthegoldcuphedsayyesthenitcameontogetroughtheoldthingcrookedingaboutandtheweightalldownmysidetellingmetopulltherightreinsnowpulltheleftandthetideallswampinginfloodsinthroughthroughthebottomandhisoarslippingoutofthestirrupitsamercywewerentalldrownedhecanswimofcoursemenotheresnodangerwhatsoeverkeepyourselfcalminhisflanneltrousersIdliketohavetatteredthemdownoffhimbeforeallthepeopleandgivehimwhatthatonecallsflagellatetillhewasblackandbluedohimallthegoodintheworldonlyforthatlongnosedchapIdontknowwhoheiswiththatotherbeautyBurkeoutoftheCityArmshotelwastherespyingaroundasusualontheslipalwayswherehewasntwantediftherewasarowonyouvomitabetterfacetherewasnolovelostbetweenusthatsIconsolationIwonderwhatkindisthatbookhebroughtmeSweetsofSinbyagentlemanoffashionsomeotherMrdeKockIsupposethepeoplegavehimthatnicknamegoingaboutwithhistubefromonewomantoanotherIcouldntevenchangemynewwhiteshoesallruinedwiththesaltwaterandthehatIhadwiththatfeatherallblowyandtossedonmehowannoyingandprovokingbecausethesmelloftheseaexcitedmeofcoursethesardinesandthebreaminCatalanbayroundthebackoftherocktheywerefineallsilverinthefishermensbasketsoldLuiginearahundredtheysaidcamefromGenoaandthetalloldchapwiththeearringsIdontlikeamanyouhavetoclimbuptogogetatIsupposetheyrealldeadandrottenlongagobesidesIdontlikebeingaloneinthisbigbarracksofaplaceatnightIsupposeIllhavetoputupwithitIneverbroughtabitofsaltinevenwhenwemovedintheconfusionmusicalacademyhewasgoingtomakeonthefirstfloordrawingroomwithabrassplateorBloomsprivatehotelhesuggestedgoandruinhimselfaltogetherthewayhisfatherdiddowninEnnislikeallthethingshetoldfatherhewasgoingtodoandmebutIsawthroughhimtellingmeallthelovelyplaceswecouldgoforthehoneymoonVenicebymoonlightwiththegondolasandthelakeofComohehadapicturecutoutofsomepaperofandmandolinesandlanternsOhowniceIsaidwhateverIlikedhewasgoingtodoimmediatelyifnotsoonerwillyoubemymanwillyoucarrymycanheoughttogetaleathermedalwithaputtyrimforalltheplansheinventsthenleavingusherealldayyouneverknowwhatoldbeggaratthedoorforacrustwithhislongstorymightbeatrampandputhisfootinthewaytopreventmeshuttingitlikethatpictureofthathardenedcriminalhewascalledinLloydsWeeklyNews20yearsinjailthenhecomesoutandmurdersanoldwomanforhermofleyimaginehispoorwifeormotherorwhoeversheissuchafaceyoudrunmilesawayfromIcouldntresteasytillIboltedallthedoorsandwindowstomakesurebutitsworseagainbeinglockeduplikeinaprisonoramadhousetheyoughttobeallshotorthecatofninetailsabigbrutelikethatthatwouldattackapooroldwomantomurderherinherbedIdcutthemoffsoIwouldnotthathedbemuchusestillbetterthannothingthenightIwassureIheardburglarsinthekitchenandhewentdowninhisshirtwithacandleandapokerasifhewaslookingforamouseaswhiteasasheetfrightenedoutofhiswitsmakingasmuchnoiseashepossiblycouldfortheburglarsbenefitthereisntmuchtostealindeedtheLordknowsstillitsthefeelingespeciallynowwithMillyawaysuchanideaforhimtosendthegirldowntheretolearntotakephotographsonaccountofhisgrandfatherinsteadofsendi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dthecitymeetingGodknowswhonightwalkersandpickpocketshispoormotherwouldntlikethatifshewasaliveruininghimselfforlifeperhapsstillitsalovelyhoursosilentIusedtolovecominghomeafterdancestheairofthenighttheyhavefriendstheycantalktowevenoneeitherhewantswhathewontgetoritssomewomanreadytostickherknifeinyouIhatethatinwomennowondertheytreatusthewaytheydoweareadreadfullotofbitchesIsupposeitsallthetroubleswehavemakesussosnappyImnotlikethathecouldeasyhavesleptinthereonthesofaintheotherroomsupposehewasasshyasaboyhebeingsoyounghardly20ofmeinthenextroomhedhaveheardmeonthechamberarrahwhatharmDedalusIwonderitslikethosenamesinGibraltarDelapazDelagraciatheyhadthedevilsqueernamestherefatherVialplanaofSantaMariathatgavemetherosaryRosalesyOReillyintheCallelasSieteRevueltasandPisimboandMrsOpissoinGovernorstreetOwhatanameIdgoanddrownmyselfinthefirstriverifIhadanamelikeherOmyandallthebitsofstreetsParadiserampandBedlamrampandRodgersrampandCrutchettsrampandthedevilsgapstepswellsmallblametomeifIamaharumscarumIknowIamabitIdeclaretoGodIdontfeeladayolderthanthenIwondercouldIgetmytongueroundanyoftheSpanishcomoestaustedmuybiengraciasyustedseeIhaven’tforgottenitallIthoughtIhadonlyforthegrammaranounisthenameofanypersonplaceorthingpityInevertriedtoreadthatnovelcantankerousMrsRubiolentmebyValerawiththequestionsinitallupsidedownthetwowaysIalwaysknewwedgoawayintheendIcantellhimtheSpanishandhetellmetheItalianthenhellseeImnotsoignorantwhatapityhedidntstayImsurethepoorfellowwasdeadtiredandwantedagoodsleepbadlyIcouldhavebroughthiminhisbreakfastinbedwithabitoftoastsolongasIdidntdoitontheknifeforbadluckorifthewomanwasgoingherroundswiththewatercressandsomethingniceandtastythereareafewolivesinthekitchenhemightlikeInevercouldbearthelookoftheminAbrinesIcoulddothecriadatheroomlooksallrightsinceIchangedittheotherwayyouseesomethingwastellingmeallthetimeIdhavetointroducemyselfnotknowingmefromAdamveryfunnywouldntitImhiswifeorpretendwewereinSpainwithhimhalfawakewithoutaGodsnotionwhereheisdoshuevosestrelladossenorLordthecrackedthingscomeintomyheadsometimesitdbegreatfunsupposinghestayedwithuswhynottherestheroomupstairsemptyandMillysbedinthebackroomhecoulddohiswritingandstudiesatthetableinthereforallthescribblinghedoesatitandifhewantstoreadinbedinthemorninglikemeashesmakingthebreakfastforIhecanmakeitfor2ImsureImnotgoingtotakeinlodgersoffthestreetforhimifhetakesagesaboofahouselikethisIdlovetohavealongtalkwithanintelligentwell-educatedpersonIdhavetogetanicepairofredslipperslikethoseTurkswiththefezusedtoselloryellowandanicesemitransparentmorninggownthatIbadlywantorapeachblossomdressingjacketliketheonelongagoinWalpolesonly8/6or18/6IlljustgivehimonemorechanceIllgetupearlyinthemorningImsickofCohensoldbedinanycaseImightgoovertothemarketstoseeallthevegetablesandcabbagesandtomatoesandcarrotsandallkindsofsplendidfruitsallcominginlovelyandfreshwhoknowswhodbethe1stmanIdmeettheyreoutlookingforitinthemorningMamyDillonusedtosaytheyareandthenighttoothatwashermassgoingIdloveabigjuicypearnowtomeltinyourmouthlikewhenIusedtobeinthelongingwaythenIllthrowhimuphiseggsandteainthemoustachecupshegavehimtomakehismouthbiggerIsupposehedlikemynicecreamtooIknowwhatIlldoIllgoaboutrathergaynottoomuchsingingabitnowandthenmifapietiMasettothenIllstartdressingmyselftogooutprestononsonpillforteIllputonmybestshiftanddrawerslethimhaveagoodeyefuloutofthattomakehismickystandforhimIlllethimknowifthatswhathewantedthathiswifeisfuckedyesanddamnwellfuckedtoouptomynecknearlynotbyhim5or6timeshandrunningtheresthemarkofhisspunkonthecleansheetIwouldntbothertoevenironitoutthatoughttosatisfyhimifyoudontbelievemefeelmybellyunlessImadehimstandthereandputhimintomeIveamindtotellhimeveryscrapandmakehimdoitinfrontofmeservehimrightitsallhisownfaultifIamanadulteressasthethinginthegallerysaidOmuchaboutitifthatsalltheharmeverwedidinthisvaleoftearsGodknowsitsnotmuchdoesnteverybodyonlytheyhideitIsupposethatswhatawomanissupposedtobetherefororHewouldnthavemadeusthewayHedidsoattractivetomenthenifhewantstokissmybottomIlldragopenmydrawersandbulgeitrightoutinhisfaceaslargeaslifehecanstickhistongue7milesupmyholeashestheremybrownpartthenIlltellhimIwant#1orperhaps30/-IlltellhimIwanttobuyunderclothesthenifhegivesmethatwellhewontbetoobadIdontwanttosoakitalloutofhimlikeotherwomendoIcouldoftenhavewrittenoutafinechequeformyselfandwritehisnameonitforacoupleofpoundsafewtimesheforgottolockitupbesideshewontspenditIlllethimdoitoffonmebehindprovidedhedoesntsmearallmygooddrawersOIsupposethatcantbehelpedIlldotheindifferentIor2questionsIllknowbytheanswerswhenheslikethathecantkeepathingbackIknoweveryturninhimIlltightenmybottomwellandletoutafewsmuttywordssmellrumporlickmyshitorthefirstmadthingcomesintomyheadthenIllsuggestaboutyesOwaitnowsonnymyturniscomingIllbequitegayandfriendlyoveritObutIwasforgettingthisbloodypestofathingpfoohyouwouldn’tknowwhichtolaughorcryweresuchamixtureofplumandapplenoIllhavetoweartheoldthingssomuchthebetteritllbemorepointedhellneverknowwhetherhediditnornottherethatsgoodenoughforyouanyoldthingatallthenIllwipehimoffmejustlikeabusinesshisomissionthenIllgooutIllhavehimeyeingupattheceilingwhereisshegonenowmakehimwantmethatstheonlywayaquarterafterwhatanunearthlyhourIsupposetheyrejustgettingupinChinanowcombingouttheirpigtailsforthedaywellsoonhavethenunsringingtheangelustheyvenobodycomingintospoiltheirsleepexceptanoddpriestortwoforhisnightofficethealarmclocknextdooratcockshoutclatteringthebrainsoutofitselfletmeseeifIcandoseoff12345whatkindofflowersarethosetheyinventedlikethestarsthewallpaperinLombardstreetwasmuchnicertheapronhegavemewaslikethatsomethingonlyIonlyworeittwicebetterlowerthislampandtryagainsoasIcangetupearlyIllgotoLambestherebesideFindlatersandgetthemtosendussomeflowerstoputabouttheplaceincasehebringshimhometomorrowtodayImeannonoFridaysanunluckydayfirstIwanttodotheplaceupsomewaythedustgrowsinitIthinkwhileImasleepthenwecanhavemusicandcigarettesIcanaccompanyhimfirstImustcleanthekeysofthepianowithmilkwhatllIwearshallIwearawhiteroseorthosefairycakesinLiptonsIlovethesmellofarichbigshopat71/2dalbortheotheroneswiththecherriesinthemandthepinkysugarlidacoupleoflbsofcourseaniceplantforthemiddleofthetableIdgetthatcheaperinwaitwheresthisIsawthemnotlongagoIloveflowersIdlovetohavethewholeplaceswimminginrosesGodofheaventheresnothinglikenaturethewildmountainsthentheseaandthewavesrushingthenthebeautifulcountrywithfieldsofoatsandwheatandallkindsofthingsandallthefinecattlegoingaboutthatwoulddoyourheartgoodtoseeriversandlakesandflowersallsortsofshapesandsmellsandcoloursspringingupevenoutoftheditchesprimrosesandvioletsnatureitisasforthemsayingtheresnoGodIwouldntgiveasnapofmytwofingersforalltheirlearningwhydonttheygoandcreatesomethingIoftenaskedhimatheistsorwhatevertheycallthemselvesgoandwashthecobblesoffthemselvesfirstthentheygohowlingforthepriestandtheydyingandwhywhybecausetheyreafraidofhellonaccountoftheirbadconscienceahyesIknowthemwellwhowasthefirstpersonintheuniversebeforetherewasanybodythatmadeitallwhoahthattheydontknowneitherdoIsothereyouaretheymightaswelltrytostopthesunfromrisingtomorrowthesunshinesforyouhesaidthedaywewerelyingamongtherhododendronsonHowthheadinthegreytweedsuitandhisstrawhatthedayIgothimtoproposetomeyesfirstIgavehimthebitofseedcakeoutofmymouthanditwasleapyearlikenowyes16yearsagomyGodafterthatlongkissInearlostmybreathyeshesaidwasaflowerofthemountainyessoweareflowersallawomansbodyyesthatwasonetruethinghesaidinhislifeandthesunshinesforyoutodayyesthatwaswhyIlikedhimbecauseIsawheunderstoodorfeltwhatawomanisandIknewIcouldalwaysgetroundhimandIgavehimallthepleasureIcouldleadinghimontillheaskedmetosayyesandIwouldntanswerfirstonlylookedoutovertheseaandtheskyIwasthinkingofsomanythingshedidntknowofMulveyandMrStanhopeandHesterandfatherandoldcaptainGrovesandthesailorsplayingallbirdsflyandIsaystoopandwashingupdishestheycalleditonthepierandthesentryinfrontofthegovernorshousewiththethingroundhiswhitehelmetpoordevilhalfroastedandtheSpanishgirlslaughingintheirshawlsandtheirtallcombsandtheauctionsinthemorningtheGreeksandthejewsandtheArabsandthedevilknowswhoelsefromalltheendsofEuropeandDukestreetandthefowlmarketallcluckingoutsideLarbySharansandthepoordonkeysslippinghalfasleepandthevaguefellowsinthecloaksasleepintheshadeonthestepsandthebigwheelsofthecartsofthebullsandtheoldcastlethousandsofyearsoldyesandthosehandsomeMoorsallinwhiteandturbanslikekingsaskingyoutositdownintheirlittlebitofashopandRondawiththeoldwindowsoftheposadasglancingeyesalatticehidforherlovertokisstheironandthewineshopshalfopenatnightandthecastanetsandthenightwemissedtheboatatAlgecirasthewatchmangoingaboutserenewithhislampandOthatawfuldeepdowntorrentOandtheseatheseacrimsonsometimeslikefireandtheglorioussunsetsandthefigtreesintheAlamedagardensyesandallthequeerlittlestreetsandpinkandblueandyellowhousesandtherosegardensandthejessamineandgeraniumsandcactusesandGibraltarasagirlwhereIwasaFlowerofthemountainyeswhenIputtheroseinmyhairliketheAndalusiangirlsusedorshallIweararedyesandhowhekissedmeundertheMoorishwallandIthoughtwellaswellhimasanotherandthenIaskedhimwithmyeyestoaskagainyesandthenheaskedmewouldIyestosayyesmymountainflowerandfirstIputmyarmsaroundhimyesanddrewhimdowntomesohecouldfeelmybreastsallperfumeyesandhisheartwasgoinglikemadandyesIsaidyesIwillYes。
Trieste-Zürich-Paris,1914——1921