IV
HOWTHEMOORISHWOMANOFTHERUECHAUDETWISTEDABOUTSOBRISKLY
THATWITHGREATDIFFICULTYWASSHEBURNEDANDCOOKEDALIVE，TO
THEGREATLOSSOFTHEINFERNALREGIONS。
ThiswaswritteninthemonthofMay，oftheyear1360，afterthemannerofatestament。
“Myverydearandwell-belovedson，whenitshallbelawfulfortheetoreadthisIshallbe，Ithyfather，reposinginthetomb，imploringthyprayers，andsupplicatingtheetoconductthyselfinlifeasitwillbecommandedtheeinthisrescript，bequeathedforthegoodgovernmentofthyfamily，thyfuture，andsafety；forIhavedonethisataperiodwhenIhadmysensesandunderstanding，stillrecentlyaffectedbythesovereigninjusticeofmen。InmyvirileageIhadagreatambitiontoraisemyselfintheChurch，andthereintoobtainthehighestdignities，becausenolifeappearedtomemoresplendid。
Nowwiththisearnestidea，Ilearnedtoreadandwrite，andwithgreattroublebecameinafitconditiontoentertheclergy。ButbecauseIhadnoprotection，orgoodadvicetosuperintendmytrainingIhadanideaofbecomingthewriter，tabellion，andrubricanoftheChapterofSt。Maurice，inwhichwerethehighestandrichestpersonagesofChristendom，sincetheKingofFranceisonlythereinasimplecanon。NowthereIshouldbeablebetterthananywhereelsetofindservicestorendertocertainlords，andthustofindamasterorgainpatronage，andbythisassistanceenterintoreligion，andbemitredandesconcedinanarchiepiscopalchair，somewhereorother。
Butthisfirstvisionwasovercredulous，andalittletooambitious，thewhichGodcausedmeclearlytoperceivebythesequel。Infact，MessireJepandeVilledomer，whoafterwardsbecamecardinal，wasgiventhisappointment，andIwasrejected，discomfited。NowinthisunhappyhourIreceivedanalleviationofmytroubles，bytheadviceofthegoodoldHieromeCornille，ofwhomIhaveoftenspokentoyou。Thisdearmaninducedme，byhiskindness，tobecomepenmantotheChapterofSt。MauriceandtheArchbishopofTours，thewhichofferIacceptedwithjoy，sinceIwasreputedascrivener。AtthetimeIwasabouttoenterintothepresbyterycommencedthefamousprocessagainstthedeviloftheRueChaude，ofwhichtheoldfolkstilltalk，andwhichinitstime，hasbeenrecountedineveryhomeinFrance。Now，believingthatitwouldbeofgreatadvantagetomyambition，andthatforthisassistancetheChapterwouldraisemetosomedignity，mygoodmasterhadmeappointedforthepurposeofwritingallofthatshouldbeinthisgravecause，subjecttowriting。AttheveryoutsetMonseigneurHieromeCornille，amanapproachingeightyyears，ofgreatsense，justice，andsoundunderstanding，suspectedsomespitefulnessinthiscause，althoughhewasnotpartialtoimmodestgirls，andhadneverbeeninvolvedwithawomaninhislife，andwasholyandvenerable，withasanctitywhichhadcausedhimtobeselectedasajudge，allthisnotwithstanding。Assoonasthedepositionswerecompleted，andthepoorwenchheard，itremainedclearthatalthoughthismerrydoxyhadbrokenherreligiousvows，shewasinnocentofalldevilry，andthathergreatwealthwascovetedbyherenemies，andotherpersons，whomImustnotnametotheeforreasonsofprudence。
AtthistimeeveryonebelievedhertobesowellfurnishedwithsilverandgoldthatshecouldhaveboughtthewholecountyofTouraine，ifsoithadpleasedher。Athousandfalsehoodsandcalumniouswordsconcerningthegirl，enviedbyallthehonestwomen，werecirculatedandbelievedinasgospel。AtthisperiodMasterHieromeCornille，havingascertainedthatnodemonotherthanthatoflovewasinthegirl，madeherconsenttoremaininaconventfortheremainderofherdays。Andhavingascertainedcertainnobleknightsbraveinwarandrichindomains，thattheywoulddoeverythingtosaveher，heinvitedhersecretlytodemandofheraccusersthejudgmentofGod，atthesametimegivinghergoodstothechapter，inordertosilencemischievoustongues。Bythismeanswouldbesavedfromthestakethemostdelicateflowerthateverheavenhasallowedtofalluponourearth；thewhichfloweryieldedonlyfromexcessivetendernessandamiabilitytothemaladyoflove，castbyhereyesintotheheartsofallherpursuers。Buttherealdevil，undertheformofamonk，mixedhimselfupinthisaffair；inthiswise：greatenemyofthevirtue，wisdom，andsanctityofMonsignorHieromeCornille，namedJehandelaHaye，havinglearnedthatinthejail，thepoorgirlwastreatedlikeaqueen，wickedlyaccusedthegrandpenitentiaryofconnivancewithherandofbeingherservitor，because，saidthiswickedpriest，shemakeshimyoung，amorous，andhappy，fromwhichthepooroldmandiedofgriefinoneday，knowingbythisthatJehandelaHayehadwornhisruinandcovetedhisdignities。Infact，ourlordthearchbishopvisitedthejail，andfoundtheMoorishwomaninapleasantplace，reposingcomfortably，andwithoutirons，because，havingplacedadiamondinaplacewhennonecouldhavebelievedshecouldhaveheldit，shehadpurchasedtheclemencyofherjailer。Atthetimecertainpersonssaidthatthisjailerwassmittenwithher，andthatfromlove，orperhapsingreatfearoftheyoungbarons，loversofthiswoman，hehadplannedherescape。ThegoodmanCornillebeingatthepointofdeath，throughthetreacheryofJehandelaHaye，theChapterthinkingitnecessarytomakenullandvoidtheproceedingstakenbythepenitentiary，andalsohisdecrees，thesaidJehandelaHaye，atthattimeasimplevicarofthecathedral，pointedoutthattodothisitwouldbesufficienttoobtainapublicconfessionfromthegoodmanonhisdeath-bed。ThenwasthemoribundtorturedandtormentedbythegentlemanoftheChapter，thoseofSaintMartin，thoseofMarmoustiers，bythearchbishopandalsobythePope\'slegate，inorderthathemightrecanttotheadvantageoftheChurch，towhichthegoodmanwouldnotconsent。Butafterathousandills，thepublicconfessionwasprepared，atwhichthemostnoteworthypeopleofthetownassisted，andthewhichspreadmorehorrorandconsternationthanIcandescribe。Thechurchesofthedioceseheldpublicprayersforthiscalamity，andeveryoneexpectedtoseethedeviltumbleintohishousebythechimney。ButthetruthofitisthatthegoodMasterHieromehadafever，andsawcowsinhisroom，andthenwasthisrecantationobtainedofhim。Theaccesspassed，thepoorsaintweptcopiouslyonlearningthistrickfromme。Infact，hediedinmyarms，assistedbyhisphysicians，heartbrokenatthismummery，tellingusthathewasgoingtothefeetofGodtopraytopreventtheconsummationofthisdeplorableiniquity。ThepoorMoorishwomanhadtouchedhimmuchbyhertearsandrepentance，seingthatbeforemakingherdemandforthejudgmentofGodhehadminutelyconfessedher，andbythatmeanshaddisentangledthesouldivinewhichwasinthebody，andofwhichhespokeasofadiamondworthyofadorningtheholycrownofGod，whensheshouldhavedepartedthislife，afterrepentinghersins。Then，mydearson，knowingbythestatementsmadeinthetown，andbythenaiveresponsesofthisunhappywretch，allthetrickeryofthisaffair，IdeterminedbytheadviceofMasterFrancoisdeHangest，physicianofthechapter，tofeignanillnessandquittheserviceoftheChurchofSt。Mauriceandofthearchbishopric，inordernottodipmyhandsintheinnocentblood，whichstillcriesandwillcontinuetocryalouduntoGoduntilthedayofthelastjudgment。Thenwasthejailerdismissed，andinhisplacewasputthesecondsonofthetorturer，whothrewtheMoorishwomanintoadungeon，andinhumanlyputuponherhandsandfeetchainsweighingfiftypounds，besidesawoodenwaistband；andthejailwerewatchedbythecrossbowmenofthetownandthepeopleofthearchbishop。Thewenchwastormentedandtortured，andherboneswerebroken；conqueredbysorrow，shemadeanavowalaccordingtothewishesofJehandelaHaye，andwasinstantlycondemnedtobeburnedintheenclosureofSt。Etienne，havingbeenpreviouslyplacedintheportalsofthechurch，attiredinachemiseofsulphur，andhergoodsgivenovertotheChapter，etcetera。Thisorderwasthecauseofgreatdisturbancesandfightinginthetown，becausethreeyoungknightsofTourainesworetodieintheserviceofthepoorgirl，andtodeliverherinallpossibleways。Thentheycameintothetown，accompaniedbythousandsofsufferers，labouringpeople，oldsoldiers，warriors，courtesans，andothers，whomthesaidgirlshadsuccoured，savedfrommisfortune，fromhungerandmisery，andsearchedallthepoordwellingsofthetownwherelaythosetowhomshehaddonegood。
ThusallwerestirredupandcalledtogethertotheplainofMount-
Louisundertheprotectionofthesoldiersofthesaidlords；theyhadforcompanionsallthescape-gracesofthesaidtwentyleaguesaround，andcameonemorningtolaysiegetotheprisonofthearchbishop，demandingthattheMoorishwomanshouldbegivenuptothemasthoughtheywouldputhertodeath，butinfacttosetherfree，andtoplacehersecretlyuponaswifthorse，thatshemightgaintheopencountry，seeingthatsherodelikeagroom。Theninthisfrightfultempestofmenhaveweseenbetweenthebattlementsofthearchiepiscopalpalaceandthebridges，morethantenthousandmenswarming，besidesthosewhowereperchedupontheroofsofthehousesandclimbingonallthebalconiestoseethesedition；inshortitwaseasytohearthehorriblecriesoftheChristians，whowereterriblyinearnest，andofthosewhosurroundedthejailwiththeintentionofsettingthepoorgirlfree，acrosstheLoire，theothersideofSaintSymphorien。Thesuffocationandsqueezingofbodieswassogreatinthisimmensecrowd，bloodthirstyforthepoorcreatureatwhosekneestheywouldhavefallenhadtheyhadtheopportunityofseeingher，thatsevenchildren，elevenwomen，andeightcitizenswerecrushedandsmashedbeyondallrecognition，sincetheywerelikesplodgesofmud；inshort，sowideopenwasthegreatmouthofthispopularleviathan，thishorriblemonster，thattheclamourwasheardatMontils-les-
Tours。Allcried\'DeathtotheSuccubus！Throwoutthedemon！Ha！I\'dlikeaquarter！I\'llhaveherskin！Thefootforme，themaneforthee！Theheadforme！Thesomethingforme！Isitred？Shallwesee？
Willitbegrilled？Deathtoher！death！\'Eachonehadhissay。Butthecry，\'LargessetoGod！DeathtotheSuccubus！\'wasyelledatthesametimebythecrowdsohoarselyandsocruellythatone\'searsandheartbledtherefrom；andtheothercrieswerescarcelyheardinthehouses。Thearchbishopdecided，inordertocalmthisstormwhichthreatenedtooverthroweverything，tocomeoutwithgreatpompfromthechurch，bearingthehost，whichwoulddelivertheChapterfromruin，sincethewickedyoungmenandthelordshadsworntodestroyandburnthecloistersandallthecanons。Nowbythisstratagemthecrowdwasobligedtobreakup，andfromlackofprovisionsreturntotheirhouses。ThenthemonksofTouraine，thelords，andthecitizens，ingreatapprehensionofpillageonthemorrow，heldanocturnalcouncil，andacceptedtheadviceoftheChapter。Bytheireffortsthemen-at-arms，archers，knights，andcitizens，inalargenumber，keptwatch，andkilledapartyofshepherds，roadmenders，andvagrants，who，knowingthedisturbedstateofTours，cametoswelltheranksofthemalcontents。TheSireHarduindeMaille，anoldnobleman，reasonedwiththeyoungknights，whowerethechampionsoftheMoorishwoman，andarguedsagelywiththem，askingthemifforsosmallawomantheywishedtoputTourainetofireandsword；thateveniftheywerevictorioustheywouldbemastersofthebadcharactersbroughttogetherbythem；thatthesesaidfreebooters，afterhavingsackedthecastlesoftheirenemies，wouldturntothoseoftheirchiefs。Thattherebellioncommencedhadhadnosuccessinthefirstattack，becauseuptothattimetheplacewasuntouched，couldtheyhaveanyoverthechurch，whichwouldinvoketheaidoftheking？Andathousandotherarguments。Tothesereasonstheyoungknightsreplied，thatitwaseasyfortheChaptertoaidthegirl\'sescapeinthenight，andthatthusthecauseoftheseditionwouldberemoved。TothishumaneandwiserequestsrepliedMonseigneurdeCensoris，thePope\'slegate，thatitwasnecessarythatstrengthshouldremainwiththereligionoftheChurch。Andthereuponthepoorwenchpayedforall，sinceitwasagreedthatnoinquiryshouldbemadeconcerningthissedition。
“ThentheChapterhadfulllicencetoproceedtothepenanceofthegirl，towhichactandecclesiasticalceremonythepeoplecamefromtwelveleaguesaround。Sothatonthedaywhen，afterdivinesatisfaction，theSuccubuswastobedelivereduptosecularjustice，inordertobepubliclyburntatastake，notforagoldpoundwouldalordorevenanabbotthavebeenfoundlodginginthetownofTours。
Thenightbeforemanycampedoutsidethetownintents，orsleptuponstraw。Provisionswerelacking，andmanywhocamewiththeirbelliesfull，returnedwiththeirbelliesempty，havingseennothingbutthereflectionofthefireinthedistance。Andthebadcharactersdidgoodstrokesofbusinessbytheway。
“Thepoorcourtesanwashalfdead；herhairhadwhitened。Shewas，totellthetruth，nothingbutaskeleton，scarcelycoveredwithflesh，andherchainsweighedmorethanshedid。Ifshehadhadjoyinherlife，shepaiddearlyforitatthismoment。Thosewhosawherpasssaythatsheweptandshriekedinawaythatshouldhaveearnedthepityofherhardestpursuers；andinthechurchtherewerecompelledtoputapieceofwoodinhermouth，whichshebitasalizardbitesastick。Thentheexecutionertiedhertoastaketosustainher，sincesheletherselfrollattimesandfellforwantofstrength。Thenshesuddenlyrecoveredavigoroushandful，because，thisnotwithstanding，shewasable，itissaidtobreakhercordsandescapeintothechurch，whereinremembranceofheroldvocation，sheclimbedquicklyintogalleriesabove，flyinglikeabirdalongthelittlecolumnsandsmallfriezes。Shewasabouttoescapeontotheroofwhenasoldierperceivedher，andthrusthisspearinthesoleofherfoot。Inspiteofherfoothalfcutthrough，thepoorgirlstillranalongthechurchwithoutnoticingit，goingalongwithherbonesbrokenandherbloodgushingout，sogreatfearhadsheoftheflamesofthestake。Atlastshewastakenandbound，thrownintoatumbrelandledtothestake，withoutbeingafterwardsheardtoutteracry。Theaccountofherflightinthechurchassistedinmakingthecommonpeoplebelievethatshewasthedevil，andsomeofthemsaidthatshehadflownintheair。Assoonastheexecutionerofthetownthrewherintotheflames，shemadetwoorthreehorribleleapsandfelldownintothebottomofthepile，whichburneddayandnight。OnthefollowingeveningIwenttoseeifanythingremainedofthisgentlegirl，sosweet，soloving，butIfoundnothingbutafragmentofthe\'osstomachal，\'inwhich，isspiteofthis，therestillremainedsomemoisture，andwhichsomesaystilltrembledlikeawomandoesinthesameplace。Itisimpossibletotell，mydearson，thesadnesses，withoutnumberandwithoutequal，whichforabouttenyearsweigheduponme；alwayswasIthinkingofthisangelburntbywickedmen，andalwaysIbeheldherwithhereyesfulloflove。Inshortthesupernaturalgiftsofthisartlesschildwereshiningdayandnightbeforeme，andIprayedforherinthechurch，whereshehadbeenmartyred。AtlengthIhadneitherthestrengthnorthecouragetolookwithouttremblinguponthegrandpenitentiaryJehandelaHaye，whodiedeatenupbylice。Leprosywashispunishment。Fireburnedhishouseandhiswife；andallthosewhohadahandintheburninghadtheirownhandssinged。
“This，mywell-belovedson，wasthecauseofathousandideas，whichI
havehereputintowritingtobeforevertheruleofconductinourfamily。
“Iquittedtheserviceofthechurch，andespousedyourmother，fromwhomIreceivedinfiniteblessings，andwithwhomIsharedmylife，mygoods，mysoul，andall。Andsheagreedwithmeinfollowingprecepts——Firstly，thattolivehappily，itisnecessarytokeepfarawayfromchurchpeople，tohonourthemmuchwithoutgivingthemleavetoenteryourhouse，anymorethantothosewhobyright，justorunjust，aresupposedtobesuperiortous。Secondly，totakeamodestcondition，andtokeeponeselfinitwithoutwishingtoappearinanywayrich。
Tohaveacaretoexcitenoenvy，norstrikeanyonesoeverinanymanner，becauseitisneedfultobeasstrongasanoak，whichkillstheplantsatitsfeet，tocrushenviousheads，andeventhenwouldonesuccumb，sincehumanoaksareespeciallyrareandthatnoTourneboucheshouldflatterhimselfthatheisone，grantingthathebeaTournebouche。Thirdly，nevertospendmorethanonequarterofone\'sincome，concealone\'swealth，hideone\'sgoodsandchattels，toundertakenooffice，togotochurchlikeotherpeople，andalwayskeepone\'sthoughtstooneself，seeingthattheybelongtoyouandnottoothers，whotwistthemabout，turnthemaftertheirownfashion，andmakecalumniestherefrom。Fourthly，alwaystoremainintheconditionoftheTournebouches，whoarenowandforeverdrapers。Tomarryyourdaughterstogooddrapers，sendyoursonstobedrapersinothertownsofFrancefurnishedwiththesewiseprecepts，andtobringthemuptothehonourofdrapery，andwithoutleavinganydreamofambitionintheirminds。AdraperlikeaTourneboucheshouldbetheirglory，theirarms，theirname，theirmotto，theirlife。Thusbybeingalwaysdrapers，theywillbealwaysTournebouches，andrubonlikethegoodlittleinsects，who，oncelodgedinthebeam，madetheirdens，andgoonwithsecuritytotheendoftheirballofthread。Fifthlynevertospeakanyotherlanguagethanthatofdrapery，andnevertodisputeconcerningreligionorgovernment。Andeventhoughthegovernmentofthestate，theprovince，religion，andGodturnabout，orhaveafancytogototherightortotheleft，alwaysinyourqualityofTournebouche，sticktoyourcloth。Thusunnoticedbytheothersofthetown，theTourneboucheswillliveinpeacewiththeirlittleTournebouches——payingthetithesandtaxes，andallthattheyarerequiredbyforcetogive，beittoGod，ortotheking，tothetownoftotheparish，withallofwhomitisunwisetostruggle。Alsoitisnecessarytokeepthepatrimonialtreasure，tohavepeaceandtobuypeace，nevertooweanything，tohavecorninthehouse，andenjoyyourselveswiththedoorsandwindowsshut。
“BythismeansnonewilltakefromtheTournebouches，neitherthestate，northeChurch，northeLords，towhomshouldthecasebethatforceisemployed，youwilllendafewcrownswithoutcherishingtheideaofeverseeinghimagain——Imeanthecrowns。
“Thus，inallseasonspeoplewilllovetheTournebouches，willmocktheTournebouchesaspoorpeople——astheslowTournebouches，asTournebouchesofnounderstanding。Lettheknow-nothingssayon。TheTourneboucheswillneitherbeburnednorhanged，totheadvantageofKingorChurch，orotherpeople；andthewiseTourneboucheswillhavesecretlymoneyintheirpockets，andjoyintheirhouses，hiddenfromall。
“Now，mydearson，followthisthecounselofamodestandmiddle-
classlife。Maintainthisinthyfamilyasacountycharter；andwhenyoudie，letyoursuccessormaintainitasthesacredgospeloftheTournebouches，untilGodwillsitthattherebenolongerTournebouchesinthisworld。“
ThisletterhasbeenfoundatthetimeoftheinventorymadeinthehouseofFrancoisTournebouche，lordofVeretz，chancellortoMonseigneurtheDauphin，andcondemnedatthetimeoftherebellionofthesaidlordagainsttheKingtolosehishead，andhaveallhisgoodsconfiscatedbyorderoftheParliamentofParis。ThesaidletterhasbeenhandedtotheGovernorofTouraineasanhistoricalcuriosity，andjoinedtothepiecesoftheprocessinthearchbishopricofTours，byme，PierreGaultier，Sheriff，PresidentoftheTradesCouncil。
Theauthorhavingfinishedthetranscriptionanddecipheringoftheseparchments，translatingthemfromtheirstrangelanguageintoFrench，thedonorofthemdeclaredthattheRueChaudeatTourswassocalled，accordingtocertainpeople，becausethesunremainedtherelongerthaninallotherparts。Butinspiteofthisversion，peopleofloftyunderstandingwillfind，inthewarmwayofthesaidSuccubus，therealoriginofthesaidname。Inwhichacquiescestheauthor。Thisteachesusnottoabuseourbody，butuseitwiselyinviewofoursalvation。
DESPAIRINLOVE
AtthetimewhenKingCharlestheEighthtookitintohisheadtodecoratethecastleofAmboise，theycamewithhimcertainworkmen，mastersculptors，goodpainters，andmasons，orarchitects，whoornamentedthegallerieswithsplendidworks，which，throughneglect，havesincebeenmuchspoiled。
Atthattimethecourtwasstayinginthisbeautifullocality，and，aseveryoneknows，thekingtookgreatpleasureinwatchinghispeopleworkouttheirideas。AmongtheseforeigngentlemenwasanItalian，namedAngeloCappara，amostworthyyoungman，and，inspiteofhisage，abettersculptorandengraverthananyofthem；anditastonishedmanytoseeoneintheAprilofhislifesoclever。Indeed，therehadscarcelysprouteduponhisvisagethehairwhichimprintsuponamanvirilemajesty。TothisAngelotheladiestookagreatfancybecausehewascharmingasadream，andasmelancholyasadoveleftsolitaryinitsnestbythedeathofitsmate。Andthiswasthereasonthereof：thissculptorknewthecurseofpoverty，whichmarsandtroublesalltheactionsoflife；helivedmiserably，eatinglittle，ashamedofhispennilessness，andmadeuseofhistalentsonlythroughgreatdespair，wishingbyanymeanstowinthatidlelifewhichisthebestallforthosewhosemindsareoccupied。TheFlorentine，outofbravado，cametothecourtgallantlyattired，andfromthetimidityofyouthandmisfortunedarednotaskhismoneyfromtheking，who，seeinghimthusdressed，believedhimwellwitheverything。Thecourtiersandtheladiesusedalltoadmirehisbeautifulworks，andalsotheirauthor；butofmoneyhegotnone。All，andtheladiesaboveall，findinghimrichbynature，esteemedhimwelloffwithhisyouth，hislongblackhair，andbrighteyes，anddidnotgiveathoughttolucre，whilethinkingofthesethingsandtherest。Indeedtheywerequiteright，sincetheseadvantagesgavetomanyarascalofthecourt，lands，moneyandall。Inspiteofhisyouthfulappearance，MasterAngelowastwentyyearsofage，andnofool，hadalargeheart，aheadfullofpoetry；andmorethanthat，wasamanofloftyimaginings。Butalthoughhehadlittleconfidenceinhimself，likeallpoorandunfortunatepeople，hewasastonishedatthesuccessoftheignorant。Hefanciedthathewasill-fashioned，eitherinbodyormind，andkepthisthoughtstohimself。Iamwrong，forhetoldthemintheclearstarlightnightstotheshadows，toGod，tothedevil，andeverythingabouthim。Atsuchtimeshewouldlamenthisfateinhavingaheartsowarm，thatdoubtlesstheladiesavoidedhimastheywouldared-hotiron；thenhewouldsaytohimselfhowhewouldworshipabeautifulmistress，howallhislifelonghewouldhonourher，andwithwhatfidelityhewouldattachhimselftoher，withwhataffectionserveher，howstudiouslyobeyhercommands，withwhatsportshewoulddispelthelightcloudsofhermelancholysadnessonthedayswhentheskiesshouldbeovercast。Fashioninghimselfoneoutofhisimagination，hewouldthrowhimselfatherfeet，kiss，fondle，caress，bite，andclaspherwithasmuchrealityasaprisonerscampersoverthegrasswhenheseesthegreenfieldsthroughthebarsofhiscell。Thushewouldappealtohermercy；overcomewithhisfeelings，wouldstopherbreathwithhisembraces，wouldbecomedaringinspiteofhisrespect，andpassionatelybitetheclothesofhisbed，seekingthiscelestiallady，fullofcouragewhenbyhimself，butabashedonthemorrowifhepassedoneby。Nevertheless，inflamedbytheseamorousadvances，hewouldhammerwayanewathismarblefigures，wouldcarvebeautifulbreasts，tobringthewaterintoone\'smouthatthesightofthosesweetfruitsoflove，withoutcountingtheotherthingsthatheraised，carved，andcaressedwiththechisels，smootheddownwithhisfile，andfashionedinamannerthatwouldmaketheiruseintelligibletothemindofagreenhorn，andstainhisverdureinasingleday。Theladieswouldcriticisethesebeauties，andallofthemweresmittenwiththeyouthfulCappara。AndtheyouthfulCapparawouldeyethemupanddown，swearingthatthedayoneofthemgavehimherlittlefingertokiss，hewouldhavehisdesire。
Amongthesehigh-bornladiestherecameonedayonebyherselftotheyoungFlorentine，askinghimwhyhewassoshy，andifnoneofthecourtladiescouldmakehimsociable。Thenshegraciouslyinvitedhimtocometoherhousethatevening。
MasterAngeloperfumeshimself，purchasesavelvetmantlewithadoublefringeofsatin，borrowsfromafriendacloakwithwidesleeves，aslasheddoublet，andsilkenhose，arrivesatthehouse，andascendsthestairswithhastyfeet，hopebeamingfromhiseyes，knowingnotwhattodowithhisheart，whichleapedandboundedlikeagoat；and，tosumup，somuchoverheadandearsinlove，thattheperspirationtrickleddownhisback。
Youmaybesuretheladywasabeautiful，andMasterCapparawasthemoreawareofit，sinceinhisprofessionhehadstudiedthemouldingsofthearms，thelinesofthebody，thesecretsurroundingsofthesex，andothermysteries。Nowthisladysatisfiedtheespecialrulesofart；andbesidesbeingfairandslender，shehadavoicetodisturblifeinitssource，tostirfireofaheart，brain，andeverything；inshort，sheputintoone\'simaginationdeliciousimagesoflovewithoutthinkingofit，whichisthecharacteristicofthesecursedwomen。
Thesculptorfoundherseatedbythefireinahighchair，andtheladyimmediatelycommencedtoconverseatherease，althoughAngelocouldfindnootherrepliesthan“Yes“and“No，“couldgetnootherwordsfromhisthroatnorideainhisbrain，andwouldhavebeatenhisheadagainstthefireplacebutforthehappinessofgazingatandlisteningtohislovelymistress，whowasplayingtherelikeayoungflyinthesunshine。Because，whichthismuteadmiration，bothremaineduntilthemiddleofthenight，wanderingslowlydowntheflowerypathoflove，thegoodsculptorwentawayradiantwithhappiness。Ontheroad，heconcludedinhisownmind，thatifanobleladykepthimratherclosetoherskirtsduringfourhoursofthenight，itwouldnotmatterastrawifshekepthimtheretheremainder。Drawingfromthesepremisescertaincorollaries，heresolvedtoaskherfavoursasasimplewoman。Thenhedeterminedtokilleverybody——thehusband，thewife，orhimself——ratherthanlosethedistaffwhereontospinonehourofjoy。Indeed，hewassomadwithlove，thathebelievedlifetobebutasmallstakeinthegameoflove，sinceonesingledayofitwasworthathousandlives。
TheFlorentinechiselledawayathisstatues，thinkingofhisevening，andthusspoiledmanyanosethinkingofsomethingelse。Noticingthis，helefthiswork，perfumedhimself，andwenttolistentothesweetwordsofhislady，withthehopeofturningthemintodeeds；butwhenhewasinthepresenceofhissovereign，herfemininemajestymadeitselffelt，andpoorCappara，suchalioninstreet，lookedsheepishwhengazingathisvictim。Thisnotwithstanding，towardsthehourwhendesirebecomesheated，hewasalmostinthelady\'slapandheldhertightlyclasped。Hehadobtainedakiss，hadtakenit，muchtohisdelight；for，whentheygiveit，theladiesretaintherightofrefusal，butwhentheyleftittobetaken，thelovermaytakeathousand。Thisisthereasonwhyallofthemareaccustomedtoletitbetaken。TheFlorentinehasstolenagreatnumber，andthingsweregoingonadmirably，whenthelady，whohadbeenthriftywithherfavours，cried，“Myhusband！”
And，infact，mylordhadjustreturnedfromplayingtennis，andthesculptorhadtoleavetheplace，butnotwithoutreceivingawarmglancefromtheladyinterruptedinherpleasure。Thiswasallhissubstance，pittanceandenjoymentduringawholemonth，sinceonthebrinkofhisjoyalwayscamethesaidhusband，andhealwaysarrivedwiselybetweenapoint-blankrefusalandthoselittlesweetcaresseswithwhichwomenalwaysseasontheirrefusals——littlethingswhichreanimateloveandrenderitallthestronger。Andwhenthesculptor，outofpatience，commenced，immediatelyuponhisarrival，theskirmishoftheskirt，inorderthatvictorymightarrivebeforethehusband，towhom，nodoubt，thesedisturbanceswerenotwithoutprofit，hisfinelady，seeingdesirewrittenintheeyesofhersculptor，commencedendlessquarrelsandaltercations；atfirstshepretendedtobejealousinordertorailagainstlove；thenappeasedtheangerofthelittleonewiththemoistureofakiss，thenkepttheconversationtoherself，andkeptonsayingthatherlovershouldbegood，obedienttoherwill，otherwiseshewouldnotyieldtohimherlifeandsoul；
thatadesirewasasmallthingtoofferamistress；thatshewasmorecourageous，becauselovingmoreshesacrificedmore，andtohispropositionsshewouldexclaim，“Silence，sir！”withtheairofaqueen，andattimesshewouldputonanangrylook，toreplytothereproachsofCappara：“IfyouarenotasIwishyoutobe，Iwillnolongerloveyou。“
ThepoorItaliansaw，whenitwastoolate，thatthiswasnotanoblelove，oneofthosewhichdoesnotmeteoutjoyasamiserhiscrowns；
andthatthisladytookdelightinlettinghimjumpaboutoutsidethehedgeandbemasterofeverything，providedhetouchednotthegardenoflove。AtthisbusinessCapparabecameasavageenoughtokillanyone，andtookwithhimtrustycompanions，hisfriends，towhomhegavethetaskofattackingthehusbandwhilewalkinghometobedafterhisgameoftenniswiththeking。Hecametohisladyattheaccustomedhourwhenthesweetsportsoflovewereinfullswing，whichsportswerelong，lastingkisses，hairtwistedanduntwisted，handbittenwithpassion，earsaswell；indeed，thewholebusiness，withtheexceptionofthatespecialthingwhichgoodauthorsrightlyfindabominable。TheFlorentineexclaimsbetweentwoheartykisses——
“Sweetone，doyoulovememorethananything？”
“Yes，“saidshe，becausewordsnevercostanything。
“Wellthen，“repliedthelover，“bemineindeedasinword。“
“But，“saidshe，“myhusbandwillbeheredirectly。“
“Isthattheonlyreason？”saidhe。
“Yes。“
“Ihavefriendswhowillcrosshim，andwillnotlethimgounlessI
showatorchatthiswindow。Ifhecomplaintotheking，myfriendswillsay，theythoughttheywereplayingajokeononeoftheirownset。“
“Ah，mydear，“saidshe，“letmeseeifeveryoneinthehouseisgonetobed。“
Sherose，andheldthelighttothewindow。SeeingwhichCapparablewoutthecandle，seizedhissword，andplacinghimselfinfrontofthewoman，whosescornandevilmindherecognised。
“Iwillnotkillyou，madame，“saidhe，“butIwillmarkyourfaceinsuchamanneryouwillneveragaincoquettewithyoungloverswhoselivesyouwaste。Youhavedeceivedmeshamefully，andarenotarespectablewoman。Youmustknowthatakisswillneversustainlifeinatruelover，andthatakissedmouthneedstherest。Yourhavemademylifeforeverdullandwretched；nowIwillmakeyourememberforevermydeath，whichyouhavecaused。Youshallneveragainbeholdyourselfinaglasswithoutseeingtheremyfacealso。“Thenheraisedhisarm，andheldtheswordreadytocutoffagoodsliceofthefreshfaircheek，wherestillallthetracesofhiskissremained。Andtheladyexclaimed，“Youwretch！”
“Holdyourtongue，“saidhe；“youtoldmethatyoulovedmebetterthananything。Nowyousayotherwise；eacheveninghaveyouraisedmealittlenearertoheaven；withoneblowyoucastmeintohell，andyouthinkthatyourpetticoatcansaveyoufromalover\'swrath——No！”
“Ah，myAngelo！Iamthine，“saidshe，marvellingatthismanglaringwithrage。
Buthe，steppingthreepacesback，replied，“Ah，womanofthecourtandwickedheart，thoulovest，then，thyfacebetterthanthylover。“
Sheturnedpale，andhumblyheldupherface，forsheunderstoodthatatthismomentherpastperfidywrongedherpresentlove。WithasingleblowAngeloslashedherface，thenleftherhouse，andquittedthecountry。ThehusbandnothavingbeenstoppedbyreasonofthatlightwhichwasseenbytheFlorentines，foundhiswifeminusherleftcheek。Butshespokenotawordinspiteofheragony；shelovedherCapparamorethanlifeitself。Nevertheless，thehusbandwishedtoknowwhenceprecededthiswound。NoonehavingbeenthereexcepttheFlorentine，hecomplainedtotheking，whohadhisworkmanhastilypursued，andorderedhimtobehangedatBlois。Onthedayofexecutionanobleladywasseizedwithadesiretosavethiscourageousman，whomshebelievedtobealoveroftherightsort。Shebeggedthekingtogivehimtoher，whichhedidwillingly。ButCapparadeclaringthathebelongedentirelytohislady，thememoryofwhomhecouldnotbanishentirely，enteredtheChurch，becameacardinalandagreatsavant，andusedtosayinhisoldagethathehadexistedupontheremembranceofthejoystastedinthosepoorhoursofanguish；inwhichhewas，atthesametime，bothverywellandverybadlytreatedbyhislady。Thereareauthorssayingafterwardshesucceededbetterwithhisoldsweetheart，whosecheekhealed；butIcannotbelievethis，becausehewasamanofheart，whohadahighopinionoftheholyjoysoflove。
Thisteachesusnothingworthknowing，unlessitbethatthereareunluckymeetingsinlife，sincethistaleisineverywaytrue。Ifinotherplacestheauthorhasovershotthetruth，thisonewillgainforhimtheindulgenceoftheconclaveorlovers。
EPILOGUE
ThissecondseriescomesinthemerrymonthofJune，whenallisgreenandgay，becausethepoormuse，whoseslavetheauthoris，hasbeenmorecapriciousthentheloveofaqueen，andhasmysteriouslywishedtobringforthherfruitinthetimeofflowers。Noonecanboasthimselfmasterofthisfay。Attimes，whengravethoughtsoccupythemindandgrievethebrain，comesthejadewhisperinghermerrytalesintheauthor\'sear，ticklingherlipswithherfeathers，dancingsarabands，andmakingthehouseechowithherlaughter。Ifbychancethewriter，abandoningscienceforpleasure，saystoher，“Waitamoment，littleone，tillIcome，“andrunsingreathastetoplaywiththemadcap，shehasdisappeared。Shehasgoneintoherhole，hidesherselfthere，rollsherselfup，andretires。Takethepoker，takeastaff，acudgel，acane，raisethem，strikethewench，andraveather，shemoans；strapher，shemoans；caressher，fondleher，shemoans；kissher，saytoher，“Here，littleone，“shemoans。Nowshe\'scold，nowsheisgoingtodie；adieutolove，adieutolaughter，adieutomerriment，adieutogoodstories。Wearmourningforher，weepandfancyherdead，groan。Thensheraisesherhead，hermerrylaughringsoutagain；shespreadsherwhitewings，fliesoneknowsnotwither，turnsintheair，capers，showsherimpishtail，herwoman\'sbreasts，herstrongloins，andherangelicface，shakesherperfumedtresses，gambolsintheraysofthesun，shinesforthinallherbeauty，changeshercolourslikethebreastofadove，laughsuntilshecries，castthetearsofhereyesintothesea，wherethefishermenfindthemtransmutedintoprettypearls，whicharegatheredtoadorntheforeheadsofqueens。Shetwistsaboutlikeacoltbrokenloose，exposinghervirgincharms，andathousandthingssofairthatapopewouldperilhissalvationforheratthemeresightofthem。Duringthesewildpranksoftheungovernablebeastyoumeetfoolsandfriends，whosaytothepoorpoet，“Whereareyourtales？Whereareyournewvolumes？Youareapaganprognosticator。Ohyes，youareknown。Yougotofetesandfeasts，anddonothingbetweenyourmeals。
Where\'syourwork？”
AlthoughIambynaturepartialtokindness，IshouldliketoseeoneofthesepeopleimpaledintheTurkishfashion，andthusequipped，sentontheLoveChase。Hereendeththesecondseries；makethedevilgiveitaliftwithhishorns，anditwillbewellreceivedbyasmilingChristendom。
EndDrollStories[V。3]
byHonoredeBalzacCOLLECTEDFROMTHEABBEYSOFTOURAINE
VOLUMEIII：THETHIRDTENTALES
CONTENTS
THETHIRDTENTALES
PROLOGUE
PERSEVERANCEINLOVE
CONCERNINGAPROVOSTWHODIDNOTRECOGNISETHINGS
ABOUTTHEMONKAMADOR，WHOWASAGLORIOUSABBOTOFTURPENAY
BERTHATHEPENITENT
HOWTHEPRETTYMAIDOFPORTILLONCONVINCEDHERJUDGE
INWHICHITISDEMONSTRATEDTHATFORTUNEISALWAYSFEMININE
CONCERNINGAPOORMANWHOWASCALLEDLEVIEUXPAR-CHEMINS
ODDSAYINGSOFTHREEPILGRIMS
INNOCENCE
THEFAIRIMPERIAMARRIED
THIRDTENTALES
PROLOGUE
Certainpersonshaveinterrogatedtheauthorastowhytherewassuchademandforthesetalesthatnoyearpasseswithouthisgivinganinstalmentofthem，andwhyhehaslatelytakentowritingcommasmixedupwithbadsyllables，atwhichtheladiespubliclyknittheirbrows，andhaveputtohimotherquestionsofalikecharacter。
Theauthordeclaresthatthesetreacherouswords，castlikepebblesinhispath，havetouchedhimintheverydepthsofhisheart，andheissufficientlycognisantofhisdutynottofailtogivetohisspecialaudienceinthisprologuecertainreasonsotherthantheprecedingones，becauseitisalwaysnecessarytoreasonwithchildrenuntiltheyaregrownup，understandthings，andholdtheirtongues；andbecauseheperceivesmanymischievousfellowsamongthecrowdofnoisypeople，whoignoreatpleasuretherealobjectofthesevolumes。
Inthefirstplaceknow，thatifcertainvirtuousladies——Isayvirtuousbecausecommonandlowclasswomendonotreadthesestories，preferringthosethatareneverpublished；onthecontrary，othercitizens\'wivesandladies，ofhighrespectabilityandgodliness，althoughdoubtlessdisgustedwiththesubject-matter，readthempiouslytosatisfyanevilspirit，andthuskeepthemselvesvirtuous。
Doyouunderstand，mygoodreapersofhorns？Itisbettertobedeceivedbythetaleofabookthancuckoldedthroughthestoryofagentleman。Youaresavedthedamagebythis，poorfools！besideswhich，oftenyourladybecomesenamoured，isseizedwithfecundagitationstoyouradvantage，raisedinherbythepresentbook。
Thereforedothesevolumesassisttopopulatethelandandmaintainitinmirth，honourandhealth。Isaymirth，becausemuchistobederivedfromthesetales。Isayhonour，becauseyousaveyournestfromtheclawsofthatyouthfuldemonnamedcuckoldominthelanguageoftheCelts。Isayhealth，becausethisbookincitesthatwhichwasprescribedbytheChurchofSalerno，fortheavoidanceofcerebralplethora。Canyouderivealikeproofinanyothertypographicallyblackenedportfolios？Ha！ha！wherearethebooksthatmakechildren？
Think！Nowhere。Butyouwillfindaglutofchildrenmakingbookswhichbegetnothingbutweariness。
Buttocontinue。Nowbeitknownthatwhenladies，ofavirtuousnatureandatalkativeturnofmind，conversepubliclyonthesubjectofthesevolumes，agreatnumberofthem，farfromreprimandingtheauthor，confessthattheylikehimverymuch，esteemhimavaliantman，worthytobeamonkintheAbbeyofTheleme。Forasmanyreasonsastherearestarsintheheavens，hedoesnotdropthestylewhichhehasadoptedinthesesaidtales，butletshimselfbevituperated，andkeepssteadilyonhisway，becausenobleFranceisawomanwhorefusestoyield，crying，twistingabout，andsaying，“No，no，never！Oh，sir，whatareyougoingtodo？Iwon\'tletyou；
you\'drumpleme。“
Andwhenthevolumeisdoneandfinished，allsmiles，sheexclaims，“Oh，master，arethereanymoretocome？”
Youmaytakeitforgrantedthattheauthorisamerryfellow，whotroubleshimselflittleaboutthecries，tearsandtricksoftheladyyoucallglory，fashion，orpublicfavour，forheknowshertobeawantonwhowouldputupwithanyviolence。HeknowsthatinFranceherwar-cryis，MountJoy！Afinecryindeed，butonewhichcertainwritershavedisfigured，andwhichsignifies，“Joyitisnotoftheearth，itisthere；seizeit，otherwisegood-bye。“TheauthorhasthisinterpretationfromRabelais，whotoldittohim。Ifyousearchhistory，hasFranceeverbreathedawordwhenshewasjoyousmounted，bravelymounted，passionatelymounted，mountedandoutofbreath？Shegoesfuriouslyateverything，andlikesthisexercisebetterthandrinking。Now，doyounotseethatthesevolumesareFrench，joyfullyFrench，wildlyFrench，Frenchbefore，Frenchbehind，Frenchtothebackbone。Backthen，curs！strikeupthemusic；silence，bigots！
advancemymerrywags，mylittlepages，putyoursofthandsintotheladies\'handsandtickletheminthemiddle——ofthehandofcourse。
Ha！ha！thesearehighsoundingandperipateticreasons，ortheauthorknowsnothingofsoundandthephilosophyofAristotle。HehasonhissidethecrownofFranceandtheoriflammeofthekingandMonsieurSt。Denis，who，havinglosthishead，said“Mount-my-Joy！”Doyoumeantosay，youquadrupeds，thatthewordiswrong？No。Itwascertainlyheardbyagreatmanypeopleatthetime；butinthesedaysofdeepwretchednessyoubelievenothingconcerningthegoodoldsaints。
Theauthorhasnotfinishedyet。Knowallyewhoreadthesetaleswitheyeandhand，feelthemintheheadalone，andlovethemforthejoytheybringyou，andwhichgoestoyourheart，knowthattheauthorhavinginanevilhourlethisideas，/idest/，hisinheritance，goastray，andbeingunabletogetthemtogetheragain，foundhimselfinastateofmentalnudity。ThenhecriedlikethewoodcutterintheprologueofthebookofhisdearmasterRabelais，inordertomakehimselfheardbythegentlemanonhigh，LordParamountofallthings，andobtainfromHimfreshideas。ThissaidMostHigh，stillbusywiththecongressofthetime，threwtohimthroughMercuryaninkstandwithtwocups，onwhichwasengraved，afterthemannerofamotto，thesethreeletters，/Ave/。Thenthepoorfellow，perceivingnootherhelp，tookgreatcaretoturnoverthissaidinkstandtofindoutthehiddenmeaningofit，thinkingoverthemysteriouswordsandtryingtofindakeytothem。First，hesawthatGodwaspolite，likethegreatLordasHeis，becausetheworldisHis，andHeholdsthetitleofitfromnoone。Butsince，inthinkingoverthedaysofhisyouth，herememberednogreatservicerenderedtoGod，theauthorwasindoubtconcerningthishollowcivility，andponderedlongwithoutfindingouttherealsubstanceofthecelestialutensil。Byreasonofturningitandtwistingitabout，studyingit，lookingatit，feelingit，emptyingit，knockingitinaninterrogatorymanner，smackingitdown，standingitupstraight，standingitononeside，andturningitupsidedown，hereadbackwards/Eva/。Whois/Eva/，ifnotallwomeninone？ThereforebytheVoiceDivinewasitsaidtotheauthor：
Thinkofwomen；womanwillhealthywound，stopthewaste-holeinthybagoftricks。Womanisthywealth；havebutonewoman，dress，undress，andfondlethatwomen，makeuseofthewoman——womaniseverything——womanhasaninkstandofherown；dipthypeninthatbottomlessinkpot。Womenlikelove；makelovetoherwiththepenonly，tickleherphantasies，andsketchmerrilyforherathousandpicturesofloveinathousandprettyways。Womanisgenerous，andallforone，oroneforall，mustpaythepainter，andfurnishthehairsofthebrush。Now，museuponthatwhichiswrittenhere。/Ave/，Hail，/Eva/，woman；or/Eva/，woman，/Ave/，Hail。Yes，shemakesandunmakes。Heigh，then，fortheinkstand！Whatdoeswomanlikebest？
Whatdoesshedesire？Allthespecialthingsoflove；andwomanisright。Tohavechildren，toproduceanimitation，ofnature，whichisalwaysinlabour。Cometome，then，woman！——cometome，Eva！
Withthistheauthorbegantodipintothatfertileinkpot，wheretherewasabrain-fluid，concoctedbyvirtuesfromonhighinatalismanicfashion。Fromonecuptherecameseriousthings，whichwrotethemselvesinbrownink；andfromtheothertriflingthings，whichmerelygavearoseatehuetothepagesofthemanuscript。Thepoorauthorhasoften，fromcarelessness，mixedtheinks，nowhere，nowthere；butassoonastheheavysentences，difficulttosmooth，polish，andbrightenup，ofsomeworksuitabletothetasteofthedayarefinished，theauthor，eagertoamusehimself，inspiteofthesmallamountofmerryinkremainingintheleftcup，stealsandbearseagerlytherefromafewpenfulswithgreatdelight。Thesesaidpenfulsare，indeed，thesesameDrollTales，theauthorityonwhichisabovesuspicion，becauseitflowsfromadivinesource，asisshowninthistheauthor\'snaiveconfession。
Certainevil-disposedpeoplewillstillcryoutatthis；butcanyoufindamanperfectlycontentedonthislumpofmud？Isitnotashame？
Inthistheauthorhaswiselycomportedhimselfinimitationofahigherpower；andheprovesitby/atqui/。Listen。IsitnotmostclearlydemonstratedtothelearnedthatthesovereignLordofworldshasmadeaninfinitenumberofheavy，weighty，andseriousmachineswithgreatwheels，largechains，terriblenotches，andfrightfullycomplicatedscrewsandweightsliketheroastingjack，butalsohasamusedHimselfwithlittletriflesandgrotesquethingslightaszephyrs，andhasmadealsonaiveandpleasantcreations，atwhichyoulaughdirectlyyouseethem？Isitnotso？Theninalleccentricworks，suchastheveryspaciousedificeundertakenbytheauthor，inordertomodelhimselfuponthelawsoftheabove-namedLord，itisnecessarytofashioncertaindelicateflowers，pleasantinsects，finedragonswelltwisted，imbricated，andcoloured——nay，evengilt，althoughheisoftenshortofgold——andthrowthematthefeetofhissnow-cladmountains，pilesofrocks，andothercloud-cappedphilosophers，longandterribleworks，marblecolumns，realthoughtscarvedinporphyry。
Ah！uncleanbeasts，whodespiseandrepudiatethefigures，phantasies，harmonies，androuladesofthefairmuseofdrollery，willyounotpareyourclaws，sothatyoumayneveragainscratchherwhiteskin，allazurewithveins，heramorousreins，herflanksofsurpassingelegance，herfeetthatstaymodestlyinbed，hersatinface，herlustrousfeatures，herheartdevoidofbitterness？Ah！wooden-heads，whatwillyousaywhenyoufindthatthismerrylassspringsfromtheheartofFrance，agreeswithallthatiswomanlyinnature，hasbeensalutedwithapolite/Ave/！bytheangelsinthepersonoftheirspokesman，Mercury，andfinally，istheclearestquintessenceofArt。
Inthisworkaretobemetwithnecessity，virtue，whim，thedesireofawoman，thevotiveofferingofastoutPantagruelist，allarehere。
Holdyourpeace，then，drinktotheauthor，andlethisinkstandwiththedoublecupendowtheGaySciencewithahundredgloriousDrollTales。
Standbackthen，curs；strikeupthemusic！Silence，bigots；outoftheway，dunces！stepforwardmymerrywags！——mylittlepages！giveyoursofthandtotheladies，andtickletheirsinthecentreinaprettymanner，sayingtothem，“Readtolaugh。“Afterwardsyoucantellthemsomemerejesttomakethemroar，sincewhentheyarelaughingtheirlipsareapart，andtheymakebutafaintresistancetolove。
PERSEVERANCEINLOVE
DuringthefirstyearsofthethirteenthcenturyafterthecomingofourDivineSaviourtherehappenedintheCityofParisanamorousadventure，throughthedeedofamanofTours，ofwhichthetownandeventheking\'scourtwasnevertiredofspeaking。Astotheclergy，youwillseebythatwhichisrelatedtheparttheyplayedinthishistory，thetestimonyofwhichwasbythempreserved。Thissaidman，calledtheTouranianbythecommonpeople，becausehehadbeenborninourmerryTouraine，hadforhistruenamethatofAnseau。InhislatterdaysthegoodmanreturnedintohisowncountryandwasmayorofSt。Martin，accordingtothechroniclesoftheabbeyofthattown；
butatParishewasagreatsilversmith。
Butnowinhisprime，byhisgreathonesty，hislabours，andsoforth，hebecameacitizenofParisandsubjectoftheking，whoseprotectionhebought，accordingtothecustomoftheperiod。Hehadahousebuiltforhimfreeofallquit-rent，closetheChurchofSt。Leu，intheRueSt。Denis，wherehisforgewaswell-knownbythoseinwantoffinejewels。AlthoughhewasaTouranian，andhadplentyofspiritandanimation，hekepthimselfvirtuousasatruesaint，inspiteoftheblandishmentsofthecity，andhadpassedthedaysofhisgreenseasonwithoutoncedragginghisgoodnamethroughthemire。ManywillsaythispassestheboundsofthatfacultyofbeliefwhichGodhasplacedinustoaidthatfaithduetothemysteriesofourholyreligion；soitisneedfultodemonstrateabundantlythesecretcauseofthissilversmith\'schastity。And，firstrememberthathecameintothetownonfoot，poorasJob，accordingtotheoldsaying；andunlikealltheinhabitantsofourpartofthecountry，whohavebutonepassion，hehadacharacterofiron，andperseveredinthepathhehadchosenassteadilyasamonkinvengeance。Asaworkman，helabouredfrommorntonight；becomeamaster，helabouredstill，alwayslearningnewsecrets，seekingnewreceipts，andinseeking，meetingwithinventionsofallkinds。Lateidlers，watchmen，andvagrantssawalwaysamodestlampshiningthroughthesilversmith\'swindow，andthegoodmantapping，sculpting，rounding，distilling，modeling，andfinishing，withhisapprentices，hisdoorclosedandhisearsopen。Povertyengenderedhardwork，hardworkengenderedhiswonderfulvirtue，andhisvirtueengenderedhisgreatwealth。Takethistoheart，yechildrenofCainwhoeatdoubloonsandmicturatewater。Ifthegoodsilversmithfelthimselfpossessedwithwilddesires，whichnowinoneway，nowanother，seizeuponanunhappybachelorwhenthedeviltriestogetholdofhim，makingthesignofthecross，theTouranianhammeredawayathismetal，droveouttherebelliousspiritsfromhisbrainbybendingdownovertheexquisiteworksofart，littleengravings，figuresofgoldandsilverforms，withwhichheappeasedtheangerofhisVenus。AddtothisthatthisTouranianwasanartlessman，ofsimpleunderstanding，fearingGodaboveallthings，thenrobbers，nexttothatofnobles，andmorethanall，adisturbance。
Althoughifhehadtwohands，heneverdidmorethanonethingatatime。Hisvoicewasasgentleasthatofabridegroombeforemarriage。
Althoughtheclergy，themilitary，andothersgavehimnoreputationforknowledge，heknewwellhismother\'sLatin，andspokeitcorrectlywithoutwaitingtobeasked。LatterlytheParisianshadtaughthimtowalkuprightly，nottobeatthebushforothers，tomeasurehispassionsbytheruleofhisrevenues，nottoletthemtakehisleathertomakeother\'sshoes，totrustnoonefartherthenhecouldseethem，nevertosaywhathedid，andalwaystodowhathesaid；nevertospillanythingbutwater；tohaveabettermemorythanfliesusuallyhave；tokeephishandstohimself，todothesamewithhispurse；toavoidacrowdatthecornerofastreet，andsellhisjewelsformorethantheycosthim；allthings，thesageobservanceofwhichgavehimasmuchwisdomashehadneedoftodobusinesscomfortablyandpleasantly。Andsohedid，withouttroublinganyoneelse。Andwatchingthisgoodlittlemanunobserved，manysaid，“Bymyfaith，Ishouldliketobethisjeweller，evenwereIobligedtosplashmyselfuptotheeyeswiththemudofParisduringahundredyearsforit。“
TheymightjustaswellhavewishedtobekingofFrance，seeingthatthesilversmithhadgreatpowerfulnervousarms，sowonderfullystrongthatwhenheclosedhisfistthecleveresttrickoftheroughestfellowcouldnotopenit；fromwhichyoumaybesurethatwhateverhegotholdofhestuckto。Morethanthis，hehadteethfittomasticateiron，astomachtodissolveit，aduodenumtodigestit，asphinctertoletitoutagainwithouttearing，andshouldersthatwouldbearauniverseuponthem，likethatpagangentlemantowhomthejobwasconfided，andwhomthetimelyarrivalofJesusChristdischargedfromtheduty。Hewas，infact，amanmadewithonestroke，andtheyarethebest，forthosewhohavetobetouchedareworthnothing，beingpatchedupandfinishedatoddtimes。Inshort，MasterAnseauwasathoroughman，withalion\'sface，andunderhiseyebrowsaglancethatwouldmelthisgoldifthefireofhisforgehadgoneout，butalimpidwaterplacedinhiseyesbythegreatModeratorofallthingstemperedthisgreatardour，withoutwhichhewouldhaveburntupeverything。Washenotasplendidspecimenofaman？
Withsuchasampleofhiscardinalvirtues，somepersistinaskingwhythegoodsilversmithremainedasunmarriedasanoyster，seeingthatthesepropertiesofnatureareofgooduseinallplaces。Buttheseopinionatedcritics，dotheyknowwhatitistolove？Ho！Ho！Easy！
Thevocationofaloveristogo，tocome，tolisten，towatch，toholdhistongue，totalk，tostickinacorner，tomakehimselfbig，tomakehimselflittle，toagree，toplaymusic，todrudge，togotothedevilwhereverhemaybe，tocountthegraypeasinthedovecote，tofindflowersunderthesnow，tosaypaternosterstothemoon，topatthecatandpatthedog，tosalutethefriends，toflatterthegout，orthecoldoftheaunt，tosaytoheratopportunemoments“Youhavegoodlooks，andwillyetwritetheepitaphofthehumanrace。“Topleasealltherelations，totreadonnoone\'scorns，tobreaknoglasses，towastenobreath，totalknonsense，toholdiceinhishand，tosay，“Thisisgood！”or，“Really，madam，youareverybeautifulso。“Andtovarythatinahundreddifferentways。Tokeephimselfcool，tobearhimselflikeanobleman，tohaveafreetongueandamodestone，toendurewithasmilealltheevilsthedevilmayinventonhisbehalf，tosmotherhisanger，toholdnatureincontrol，tohavethefingerofGod，andthetailofthedevil，torewardthemother，thecousin，theservant；infact，toputagoodfaceoneverything。Indefaultofwhichthefemaleescapesandleavesyouinafix，withoutgivingasingleChristianreason。Infact，theloverofthemostgentlemaidthatGodevercreatedinagood-temperedmoment，hadhetalkedlikeabook，jumpedlikeaflea，turnedaboutlikedice，playedlikeKingDavid，andbuiltfortheaforesaidwomantheCorinthianorderofthecolumnsofthedevil，ifhefailedintheessentialandhiddenthingwhichpleaseshisladyaboveallothers，whichoftenshedoesnotknowherselfandwhichhehasneedtoknow，thelassleaveshimlikearedleper。Sheisquiteright。Noonecanblameherforsodoing。Whenthishappenssomemenbecomeill-
tempered，cross，andmorewretchedthanyoucanpossiblyimagine。Havenotmanyofthemkilledthemselvesthroughthispetticoattyranny？Inthismatterthemandistinguisheshimselffromthebeast，seeingthatnoanimaleveryetlosthissensesthroughblightedlove，whichprovesabundantlythatanimalshavenosouls。Theemploymentofaloveristhatofamountebank，ofasoldier，ofaquack，ofabuffoon，ofaprince，ofaninny，ofaking，ofanidler，ofamonk，ofadupe，ofablackguard，ofaliar，ofabraggart，ofasycophant，ofanumskull，ofafrivolousfool，ofablockhead，ofaknow-nothing，ofaknave。AnemploymentfromwhichJesusabstained，inimitationofwhomfolksofgreatunderstandinglikewisedisdainit；itisavocationinwhichamanofworthisrequiredtospendaboveallthings，histime，hislife，hisblood，hisbestwords，besideshisheart，hissoul，andhisbrain；thingstowhichthewomenarecruellypartial，becausedirectlytheirtonguesbegintogo，theysayamongthemselvesthatiftheyhavenotthewholeofamantheyhavenoneofhim。Besure，also，thattherearecats，who，knittingtheireyebrows，complainthatamandoesbutahundredthingsforthem，forthepurposeoffindingoutiftherebeahundred，atfirstseeingthatineverythingtheydesirethemostthoroughspiritofconquestandtyranny。AndthishighjurisprudencehasalwaysflourishedamongthecustomsofParis，wherethewomenreceivemorewitattheirbaptismthaninanyotherplaceintheworld，andthusaremischievousbybirth。
Butoursilversmith，alwaysbusyathiswork，burnishinggoldandmeltingsilver，hadnotimetowarmhisloveortoburnishandmakeshinehisfantasies，nortoshowoff，gadabout，wastehistimeinmischief，ortorunaftershe-males。NowseeingthatinParisvirginsdonotfallintothebedsofyoungmenanymorethanroastpheasantsintothestreets，notevenwhentheyoungmenareroyalsilversmiths，theTouranianhadtheadvantageofhaving，asIhavebeforeobserved，acontinentmemberinhisshirt。However，thegoodmancouldnotclosehiseyestotheadvantageofnaturewithwhichweresoamplyfurnishedtheladieswithwhomhedilateduponthevalueofhisjewels。Soitwasthat，afterlisteningtothegentlediscourseoftheladies，whotriedtowheedleandtofondlehimtoobtainafavourfromhim，thegoodTouranianwouldreturntohishome，dreamyasapoet，wretchedasarestlesscuckoo，andwouldsaytohimself，“Imusttaketomyselfawife。Shewouldkeepthehousetidy，keeptheplateshotforme，foldtheclothesforme，sewmybuttonson，singmerrilyaboutthehouse，teasemetodoeverythingaccordingtohertaste，wouldsaytomeastheyallsaytotheirhusbandswhentheywantajewel，\'Oh，myownpet，lookatthis，isitnotpretty？\'Andeveryoneinthequarterwillthinkofmywifeandthenofme，andsay\'There\'sahappyman。\'
Thenthegettingmarried，thebridalfestivities，tofondleMadameSilversmith，todresshersuperbly，giveherafinegoldchain，toworshipherfromcrowntotoe，togiveherthewholemanagementofthehouse，exceptthecash，togiveheranicelittleroomupstairs，withgoodwindows，pretty，andhungaroundwithtapestry，withawonderfulchestinitandafinelargebed，withtwistedcolumnsandcurtainsofyellowsilk。Hewouldbuyherbeautifulmirrors，andtherewouldalwaysbeadozenorsoofchildren，hisandhers，whenhecamehometogreethim。“Thenwifeandchildrenwouldvanishintotheclouds。Hetransferredhismelancholyimaginingstofantasticdesigns，fashionedhisamorousthoughtsintogrotesquejewelsthatpleasedtheirbuyerswell，theynotknowinghowmanywivesandchildrenwerelostintheproductionsofthegoodman，who，themoretalenthethrewintohisart，themoredisorderedhebecame。NowifGodhadnothadpityuponhim，hewouldhavequittedthisworldwithoutknowingwhatlovewas，butwouldhaveknownitintheotherwithoutthatmetamorphosisofthefleshwhichsparesit，accordingtoMonsieurPlato，amanofsomeauthority，butwho，notbeingaChristian，waswrong。But，there！
thesepreparatorydigressionsaretheidledigressionsandfastidiouscommentarieswhichcertainunbelieverscompelamantowindaboutatale，swaddlingclothesaboutaninfantwhenitshouldrunaboutstarknaked。Maythegreatdevilgivethemaclysterwithhisred-hotthree-
prongedfork。Iamgoingonwithmystorynowwithoutfurthercircumlocution。
Thisiswhathappenedtothesilversmithintheone-and-fortiethyearofhisage。OneSabbath-daywhilewalkingontheleftbankoftheSeine，ledbyanidlefancy，heventuredasfarasthatmeadowwhichhassincebeencalledthePre-aux-ClercsandwhichatthattimewasinthedomainoftheabbeyofSt。Germain，andnotinthatoftheUniversity。There，stillstrollingontheTouranianfoundhimselfintheopenfields，andtheremetapooryounggirlwho，seeingthathewaswell-dressed，curtsiedtohim，saying“Heavenpreserveyou，monseigneur。“Insayingthishervoicehadsuchsympatheticsweetnessthatthesilversmithfelthissoulravishedbythisfemininemelody，andconceivedanaffectionforthegirl，themoresoas，tormentedwithideasofmarriageashewas，everythingwasfavourablethereto。
Nevertheless，ashehadpassedthewenchbyhedarednotgoback，becausehewasastimidasayoungmaidwhowoulddieinherpetticoatsratherthanraisethemforherpleasure。Butwhenhewasabowshotoffhebethoughthimthathewasamanwhofortenyearshadbeenamastersilversmith，hadbecomeacitizen，andwasamanofmark，andcouldlookawomaninthefaceifhisfancysoledhim，themoresoashisimaginationhadgreatpoweroverhim。Soheturnedsuddenlyback，asifhehadchangedthedirectionofhisstroll，andcameuponthegirl，whoheldbyanoldcordherpoorcow，whowasmunchinggrassthathadgrownontheborderofaditchatthesideoftheroad。
“Ah，myprettyone，“saidhe，“youarenotoverburdenedwiththegoodsofthisworldthatyouthusworkwithyourhandsupontheLord\'sDay。
Areyounotafraidofbeingcastintoprison？”
“Monseigneur，“repliedthemaid，castingdownhereyes，“Ihavenothingtofear，becauseIbelongtotheabbey。TheLordAbbothasgivenmeleavetoexercisethecowaftervespers。“
“Youloveyourcow，then，morethanthesalvationofyoursoul？”
“Ah，monseigneur，ourbeastisalmostthehalfofourpoorlives。“
“Iamastonished，mygirl，toseeyoupoorandinrags，clothedlikeafagot，runningbarefootaboutthefieldsontheSabbath，whenyoucarryaboutyoumoretreasuresthanyoucoulddigupinthegroundsoftheabbey。Donotthetownspeoplepursue，andtormentyouwithlove？”
“Oh，nevermonseigneur。Ibelongtotheabbey“，repliedshe，showingthejewelleracollaronherleftarmlikethosethatthebeastsofthefieldhave，butwithoutthelittlebell，andatthesametimecastingsuchadeplorableglanceatourtownsmanthathewasstrickenquitesad，forbytheeyesarecommunicatedcontagionsoftheheartwhentheyarestrong。
“Andwhatdoesthismean？”hesaid，wishingtohearallaboutit。
Andhetouchedthecollar，uponwhichwasengravedthearmsoftheabbeyverydistinctly，butwhichhedidnotwishtosee。
“Monseigneur，Iamthedaughterofanhommedecorps；thuswhoeveruniteshimselftomebymarriage，willbecomeabondsman，evenifhewereacitizenofParis，andwouldbelongbodyandgoodstotheabbey。
Ifhelovedmeotherwise，hischildrenwouldstillbelongtothedomain。ForthisreasonIamneglectedbyeveryone，abandonedlikeapoorbeastofthefield。Butwhatmakesmemostunhappyis，thataccordingtothepleasureofmonseigneurtheabbot，Ishallbecoupledatsometimewithabondsman。AndifIwerelessuglythanIam，atthesightofmycollarthemostamorouswouldfleefrommeasfromtheblackplague。“
Sosaying，shepulledhercowbythecordtomakeitfollowher。
“Andhowoldareyou？”askedthesilversmith。
“Idonotknow，monseigneur；butourmaster，theabbot，haskeptaccount。“
Thisgreatmiserytouchedtheheartofthegoodman，whohadinhisdayeatenthebreadofsorrow。Heregulatedhispacetothegirl\'s，andtheywenttogethertowardsthewaterinpainfulsilence。Thegoodmangazedatthefineforehead，theroundredarms，thequeen\'swaist，thefeetdusty，butmadelikethoseofaVirginMary；andthesweetphysiognomyofthisgirl，whowasthelivingimageofSt。Genevieve，thepatronessofParis，andthemaidenswholiveinthefields。AndmakesurethatthisJosephsuspectedtheprettywhiteofthissweetgirl\'sbreasts，whichwerebyamodestgracecarefullycoveredwithanoldrag，andlookedatthemasaschoolboylooksatarosyappleonahotday。Also，mayyoudependuponitthattheselittlehillocksofnaturedenotedawenchfashionedwithdeliciousperfection，likeeverythingthatthemonkspossess。Now，themoreitwasforbiddenoursilversmithtotouchthem，themorehismouthwateredforthesefruitsoflove。Andhisheartleapedalmostintohismouth。
“Youhaveafinecow，“saidhe。
“Wouldyoulikealittlemilk？”repliedshe。“ItissowarmtheseearlydaysofMay。Youarefarfromthetown。“
Intruth，theskywasacloudlessblue，andglaredlikeaforge。
Everythingwasradiantwithyouth，theleaves，theair，thegirls，thelads；everythingwasburning，wasgreen，andsmeltlikebalm。Thisnaiveoffer，madewithoutthehopeofrecompense，thoughabyzantwouldnothavepaidforthespecialgraceofthisspeech；andthemodestyofthegesturewithwhichthepoorgirlturnedtohimgainedtheheartofthejeweller，whowouldhavelikedtobeabletoputthisbondswomanintotheskinofaqueen，andParisatherfeet。
“Nay，mychild，Ithirstnotformilk，butforyou，whomIwouldhaveleavetoliberate。“
“Thatcannotbe，andIshalldiethepropertyoftheabbey。Foryearswehavelivedso，fromfathertoson，frommothertodaughter。Likemyancestors，Ishallpassmydaysonthisland，aswillalsomychildren，becausetheabbotcannotlegallyletusgo。“
“What！”saidtheTouranian；“hasnogallantbeentemptedbyyourbrighteyestobuyyourliberty，asIboughtminefromtheking？”
“Itwouldcosttoodear；thusitisthosewhomatfirstsightI
please，goastheycame。“
“Andyouhaveneverthoughtofgaininganothercountryincompanyofaloveronhorsebackonafleetcourser？”
“Ohyes。But，monseigneur，ifIwerecaughtIshouldbehangedatleast；andmygallant，evenwerehealord，wouldlosemorethanonedomainoverit，besidesotherthings。Iamnotworthsomuch；besides，theabbeyhasarmslongerthanmyfeetareswift。SoIliveoninperfectobediencetoGod，whohasplacedmeinthisplight。“
“Whatisyourfather？”
“Hetendsthevinesinthegardensoftheabbey。“
“Andyourmother？”
“Sheisawasherwoman。“
“Andwhatisyourname？”
“Ihavenoname，dearsir。MyfatherwasbaptisedEtienne，mymotherisEtienne，andIamTiennette，atyourservice。“
“Sweetheart，“saidthejeweller，“neverhaswomanpleasedmeasyoupleaseme；andIbelievethatyourheartcontainsawealthofgoodness。Now，sinceyouofferedyourselftomyeyesatthemomentwhenIwasfirmlydeliberatingupontakingacompanion，IbelievethatIseeinyouasignfromheaven！AndifIamnotdispleasingtoyou，I
begyoutoacceptmeasyourfriend。“
Immediatelythemaidloweredhereyes。Thesewordswereutteredinsuchaway，insograveatone，sopenetratingamanner，thatthesaidTiennetteburstintotears。
“No，monseigneur，Ishouldbethecauseofathousandunpleasantnesses，andofyourmisfortune。Forapoorbondsmaid，theconversationhasgonefarenough。“
“Ho！”criedAnseau；“youdonotknow，mychild，themanyouaredealingwith。“
TheTouraniancrossedhimself，joinedhishands，andsaid——
“ImakeavowtoMonsieurtheSaintEloi，underwhoseinvocationarethesilversmiths，tofashiontwoimagesofpuresilver，withthebestworkmanshipIamabletoperform。OneshallbeastatueofMadametheVirgin，tothisend，tothankherforthelibertyofmydearwife；andtheotherformysaidpatron，ifIamsuccessfulinmyundertakingtoliberatethebondswomanTiennetteherepresent，andforwhichIrelyuponhisassistance。Moreover，Iswearbymyeternalsalvation，toperseverewithcourageinthisaffair，tospendthereinallIprocess，andonlytoquititwithmylife。Godhasheardme，“saidhe。“Andyou，littleone，“headded，turningtowardsthemaid。
“Ha！monseigneur，look！Mycowisrunningaboutthefields，“criedshe，sobbingatthegoodman\'sknees。“Iwillloveyouallmylife；
butwithdrawyourvow。“
“Letustolookafterthecow，“saidthesilversmith，raisingher，withoutdaringyettokissher，althoughthemaidwaswelldisposedtoit。
“Yes，“saidshe，“forIshallbebeaten。“
Andbeholdnowthesilversmith，scamperingafterthecursedcow，whogavenoheedtotheiramours；shewastakenbythehorns，andheldinthegripoftheTouranian，whoforatriflewouldhavethrownherintheair，likeastraw。
“Adieu，mysweetone！Ifyougointothetown，cometomyhouse，overagainstStLeu\'sChurch。IamcalledMasterAnseau，andamsilversmithtotheKingofFrance，atthesignofSt。Eloi。MakemeapromisetobeinthisfieldthenextLord\'s-Day；failnottocome，evenshoulditrainhalberds。“
“Yes，dearSir。ForthisIwouldleapthewalls，and，ingratitude，wouldIbeyourswithoutmischief，andcauseyounosorrow，atthepriceofmyeverlastingfuture。Awaitingthehappymoment，IwillprayGodforyouwithallmyheart。“
Andthensheremainedstandinglikeastonesaint，movingnot，untilshecouldseethegoodcitizennolonger，andhewentawaywithlaggingsteps，turningfromtimetotimefurthertogazeuponher。Andwhenhewasfaroff，andoutofhersight，shestayedon，untilnightfall，lostinmeditation，knowingnotifshehaddreamedthatwhichhadhappenedtoher。Thenshewentbacktothehouse，whereshewasbeatenforstayingout，butfeltnottheblows。Thegoodsilversmithcouldneithereatnordrink，butclosedhisworkshop，possessedofthisgirl，thinkingofnothingbutthisgirl，seeingeverywherethegirl；everythingtohimbeingtopossessthisgirl。Nowwhenthemorrowwascome，hewentwithgreatapprehensiontowardstheabbeytospeaktothelordabbot。Ontheroad，however，hesuddenlythoughtofputtinghimselfundertheprotectionofoneoftheking\'speople，andwiththisideareturnedtothecourt，whichwasthenheldinthetown。Beingesteemedbyallforhisprudence，andlovedforhislittleworksandkindnesses，theking\'schamberlain——forwhomhehadoncemade，forapresenttoaladyofthecourt，agoldencasketsetwithpreciousstonesanduniqueofitskind——promisedhimassistance，hadahorsesaddledforhimself，andahackforthesilversmith，withwhomhesetoutfortheabbey，andaskedtoseetheabbot，whowasMonseigneurHugondeSennecterre，agedninety-three。Beingcomeintotheroomwiththesilversmith，waitingnervouslytoreceivehissentence，thechamberlainbeggedtheabbottosellhiminadvanceathingwhichwaseasyforhimtosell，andwhichwouldbepleasanttohim。