HOWTHECHATEAUD\'AZAYCAMETOBEBUILT
Jehan，sonofSimonFourniez，calledSimonnin，acitizenofTours——
originallyofthevillageofMoulinot，neartoBeaune，whence，inimitationofcertainpersons，hetookthenamewhenhebecamestewardtoLouistheEleventh——hadtoflyonedayintoLanguedocwithhiswife，havingfallenintogreatdisgrace，andlefthissonJacquespennilessinTouraine。Thisyouth，whopossessednothingintheworldexcepthisgoodlooks，hissword，andspurs，butwhomworn-outoldmenwouldhaveconsideredverywelloff，hadinhisheadafirmintentiontosavehisfather，andmakehisfortuneatthecourt，thenholdeninTouraine。AtearlydawnthisgoodTourainianlefthislodging，and，envelopedinhismantle，allexcepthisnose，whichheleftopentotheair，andhisstomachempty，walkedaboutthetownwithoutanytroubleofdigestion。Heenteredthechurches，thoughtthembeautiful，lookedintothechapels，flickedthefliesfromthepictures，andcountedthecolumnsallafterthemannerofamanwhoknewnotwhattodowithhistimeorhismoney。Atothertimeshefeignedtorecitehispaternosters，butreallymademuteprayerstotheladies，offeredthemholywaterwhenleaving，followedthemafaroff，andendeavouredbytheselittleservicestoencountersomeadventure，inwhichattheperilofhislifehewouldfindforhimselfaprotectororagraciousmistress。Hehadinhisgirdletwodoubloonswhichhesparedfarmorethanhisskin，becausethatwouldbereplaced，butthedoubloonsnever。Eachdayhetookfromhislittlehoardthepriceofarollandafewapples，withwhichhesustainedlife，anddrankathiswillandhisdiscretionofthewateroftheLoire。Thiswholesomeandprudentdiet，besidesbeinggoodforhisdoubloons，kepthimfriskyandlightasagreyhound，gavehimaclearunderstandingandawarmheartforthewateroftheLoireisofallsyrupsthemoststrengthening，becausehavingitscourseafaroffitisinvigoratedbyitslongrun，throughmanystrands，beforeitreachesTours。Soyoumaybesurethatthepoorfellowimaginedathousandandonegoodfortunesandluckyadventures，andwhatismore，almostbelievedthemtrue。Oh！Thegoodtimes！OneeveningJacquesdeBeaunehekeptthenamealthoughhewasnotlordofBeaunewaswalkingalongtheembankment，occupiedincursinghisstarandeverything，forhislastdoubloonwaswithscantrespectuponthepointofquittinghim；whenatthecornerofalittlestreet，henearlyranagainstaveiledlady，whosesweetodourgratifiedhisamoroussenses。Thisfairpedestrianwasbravelymountedonprettypattens，woreabeautifuldressofItalianvelvet，withwideslashedsatinsleeves；whileasasignofhergreatfortune，throughherveilawhitediamondofreasonablesizeshoneuponherforeheadliketheraysofthesettingsun，amonghertresses，whichweredelicatelyrolled，builtup，andsoneat，thattheymusthavetakenhermaidsquitethreehourstoarrange。Shewalkedlikealadywhowasonlyaccustomedtoalitter。Oneofherpagesfollowedher，wellarmed。Shewasevidentlysomelighto\'lovebelongingtoanobleofhighrankoraladyofthecourt，sincesheheldherdresshighofftheground，andbentherbacklikeawomanofquality。LadyorcourtesanshepleasedJacquesdeBeaune，who，farfromturninguphisnoseather，conceivedthewildideaofattachinghimselftoherforlife。Withthisinviewhedeterminedtofollowherinordertoascertainwhithershewouldleadhim——toParadiseortothelimboofhell——toagibbetortoanabodeoflove。Anythingwasagleanofhopetohiminthedepthofhismisery。TheladystrolledalongthebankoftheLoiretowardsPlessisinhalinglikeafishthefinefreshnessofthewater，toying，saunteringlikealittlemousewhowishestoseeandtasteeverything。WhenthepageperceivedthatJacquesdeBeaunepersistentlyfollowedhismistressinallhermovements，stoppedwhenshestopped，andwatchedhertriflinginabare-facedfashion，asifhehadarightsotodo，heturnedbrisklyroundwithasavageandthreateningface，likethatofadogwhosesays，“Standback，sir！”
ButthegoodTourainianhadhiswitsabouthim。Believingthatifacatmaylookatking，he，abaptisedChristian，mightcertainlylookataprettywoman，hesteppedforward，andfeigningtogrinatthepage，hestruttednowbehindandnowbeforethelady。Shesaidnothing，butlookedatthesky，whichwasputtingonitsnightcap，thestars，andeverythingwhichcouldgiveherpleasure。Sothingswenton。Atlast，arrivedoutsidePortillon，shestoodstill，andinordertoseebetter，castherveilbackoverhershoulder，andinsodoingcastupontheyouththeglanceofacleverwomanwholooksroundtoseeifthereisanydangerofbeingrobbed。ImaytellyouthatJacquesdeBeaunewasathoroughladies\'man，couldwalkbythesideofaprincesswithoutdisgracingher，hadabraveandresoluteairwhichpleasethesex，andifhewasalittlebrownedbythesunfrombeingsomuchintheopenair，hisskinwouldlookwhiteenoughunderthecanopyofabed。Theglance，keenasaneedle，whichtheladythrewhim，appearedtohimmoreanimatedthanthatwithwhichshewouldhavehonouredherprayer-book。Uponithebuiltthehopeofawindfalloflove，andresolvedtopushtheadventuretotheveryedgeofthepetticoat，riskingtogostillfurther，notonlyhislips，whichheheldoflittlecount，buthistwoearsandsomethingelsebesides。Hefollowedintothetownthelady，whoreturnedbytheRuedesTrois-Pucelles，andledthegallantthroughalabyrinthoflittlestreets，tothesquareinwhichisatthepresenttimesituatedtheHoteldelaCrouzille。Thereshestoppedatthedoorofasplendidmansion，atwhichthepageknocked。Aservantopenedit，andtheladywentinandclosedthedoor，leavingtheSieurdeBeauneopen-mouthed，stupefied，andasfoolishasMonseigneurSt。Deniswhenhewastryingtopickuphishead。Heraisedhisnoseintheairtoseeifsometokenoffavourwouldbethrowntohim，andsawnothingexceptalightwhichwentupthestairs，throughtherooms，andrestedbeforeafinewindow，whereprobablytheladywasalso。Youcanbelievethatthepoorloverremainedmelancholyanddreaming，andnotknowingwhattodo。Thewindowgaveasuddencreakandbrokehisreverie。Fancyingthathisladywasabouttocallhim，helookedupagain，andbutforthefriendlyshelterofthebalcony，whichwasahelmettohim，hewouldhavereceivedastreamofwaterandtheutensilwhichcontainedit，sincethehandleonlyremainedinthegraspofthepersonwhodeliveredthedeluge。JacquesdeBeaune，delightedatthis，didnotlosetheopportunity，butflunghimselfagainstthewall，crying“Iamkilled，“withafeeblevoice。Thenstretchinghimselfuponthefragmentsofbrokenchina，helayasifdead，awaitingtheissue。Theservantsrushedoutinastateofalarm，fearingtheirmistress，towhomtheyhadconfessedtheirfault，andpickedupthewoundedman，whocouldhardlyrestrainhislaughteratbeingthencarriedupthestairs。
“Heiscold，“saidthepage。
“Heiscoveredwithblood，“saidthebutler，whowhilefeelinghispulsehadwettedhishand。
“Ifherevives，“saidtheguiltyone，“IwillpayforamasstoSt。
Gatien。“
“Madametakesafterherlatefather，andifshedoesnothavetheehanged，theleastmitigationofthypenaltywillbethatthouwiltbekickedoutofherhouseandservice，“saidanother。“Certes，he\'sdeadenough，heissoheavy。“
“Ah！Iaminthehouseofaverygreatlady，“thoughtJacques。
“Alas！ishereallydead？”demandedtheauthorofthecalamity。WhilewithgreatlabourtheTourainianwasbeingcarriedupthestairs，hisdoubletcaughtonaprojection，andthedeadmancried，“Ah，mydoublet！”
“Hegroans，“saidtheculprit，withasighofrelief。TheRegent\'sservantsforthiswasthehouseoftheRegent，thedaughterofKingLouisXI。ofvirtuousmemorybroughtJacquesdeBeauneintoaroom，andlaidhimstiffandstarkuponatable，notthinkingforamomentthathecouldbesaved。
“Runandfetchasurgeon，“criedMadamedeBeaujeu。“Runhere，runthere！”
Theservantsweredownthestairsinatrice。ThegoodladyRegentdispatchedherattendantsforointment，forlinentobindthewounds，forgoulard-water，forsomanythings，thatsheremainedalone。Gazinguponthissplendidandsenselessman，shecriedaloud，admiringhispresenceandhisfeatures，handsomeevenindeath。“Ah！Godwishestopunishme。Justforonelittletimeinmylifehastherebeenborninme，andtakenpossessionofme，anaughtyidea，andmypatronsaintisangry，anddeprivesmeofthesweetestgentlemanIhaveeverseen。Bytherood，andbythesoulofmyfather，Iwillhangeverymanwhohashadahandinthis！”
“Madame，“criedJacquesdeBeaune，springingfromthetable，andfallingatthefeetoftheRegent，“Iwilllivetoserveyou，andamsolittlebruisedthatthatIpromiseyouthisnightasmanyjoysastherearemonthsintheyear，inimitationoftheSieurHercules，apaganbaron。Forthelasttwentydays，“hewentonthinkingthatmatterswouldbesmoothedbyalittlelying，“Ihavemetyouagainandagain。Ifellmadlyinlovewithyou，yetdarednot，byreasonofmygreatrespectforyourperson，makeanadvance。YoucanimaginehowintoxicatedImusthavebeenwithyourroyalbeauties，tohaveinventedthetricktowhichIowethehappinessofbeingatyourfeet。“
Thereuponhekissedheramorously，andgaveheralookthatwouldhaveovercomeanyscruples。TheRegent，bymeansoftime，whichrespectsnotqueens，was，aseveryoneknows，inhermiddleage。Inthiscriticalandautumnalseason，womenformallyvirtuousandlovelessdesirenowhere，nowthere，toenjoy，unknowntotheworld，certainhoursoflove，inorderthattheymaynotarriveintheotherworldwithhandsandheartalikeempty，throughhavingleftthefruitofthetreeofknowledgeuntasted。TheladyofBeaujeu，withoutappearingtobeastonishedwhilelisteningtothepromisesofthisyoungman，sinceroyalpersonagesoughttobeaccustomedtohavingthembydozens，keptthisambitiousspeechinthedepthsofhermemoryorofherregistryoflove，whichcaughtfireathiswords。ThensheraisedtheTourainian，whostillfoundinhismiserythecouragetosmileathismistress，whohadthemajestyofafull-blownrose，earslikeshoes，andthecomplexionofasickcat，butwassowell-dressed，sofineinfigure，soroyaloffoot，andsoqueenlyincarriage，thathemightstillfindinthisaffairmeanstogainhisoriginalobject。
“Whoareyou？”saidtheRegent，puttingonthesternlookofherfather。
“Iamyourveryfaithfulsubject，JacquesdeBeaune，sonofyoursteward，whohasfallenintodisgraceinspiteofhisfaithfulservices。“
“Ah，well！”repliedthelady，“layyourselfonthetableagain。Ihearsomeonecoming；anditisnotfitthatmypeopleshouldthinkmeyouraccompliceinthisfarceandmummery。“
Thegoodfellowperceived，bythesoftsoundofhervoice，thathewaspardonedtheenormityofhislove。Helaydownuponthetableagain，andrememberedhowcertainlordshadriddentocourtinanoldstirrup——athoughtwhichperfectlyreconciledhimtohispresentposition。
“Good，“saidtheRegenttohermaid-servants，“nothingisneeded。Thisgentlemanisbetter；thankstoheavenandtheHolyVirgin，therewillhavebeennomurderinmyhouse。“
Thussaying，shepassedherhandthroughthelocksoftheloverwhohadfallentoherfromtheskies，andtakingalittlerevivingwatershebathedhistemples，undidhisdoublet，andunderpretenceofaidinghisrecovery，verifiedbetterthananexperthowsoftandyoungwastheskinonthisyoungfellowandboldpromiserofbliss，andallthebystanders，menandwomen，wereamazedtoseetheRegentactthus。
Buthumanitynevermisbecomesthoseofroyalblood。Jacquesstoodup，andappearedtocometohissenses，thankedtheRegentmosthumbly，anddismissedthephysicians，mastersurgeons，andotherimpsinblack，sayingthathehadthoroughlyrecovered。Thenhegavehisname，andsalutingMadamedeBeaujeu，wishedtodepart，asthoughafraidofheronaccountofhisfather\'sdisgrace，butnodoubthorrifiedathisterriblevow。
“Icannotpermitit，“saidshe。“Personswhocometomyhouseshouldnotmeetwithsuchtreatmentasyouhaveencountered。TheSieurdeBeaunewillsuphere，“sheaddedtohermajordomo。“Hewhohassoundulyinsultedhimwillbeathismercyifhemakeshimselfknownimmediately；otherwise，Iwillhavehimfoundoutandhangedbytheprovost。“
Hearingthis，thepagewhohadattendedtheladyduringherpromenadesteppedforward。
“Madame，“saidJacques，“atmyrequestpraybothpardonandrewardhim，sincetohimIowethefelicityofseeingyou，thefavourofsuppinginyourcompany，andperhapsthatofgettingmyfatherre-
establishedintheofficetowhichitpleasedyourgloriousfathertoappointhim。“
“Wellsaid，“repliedtheRegent。“D\'Estouteville，“saidshe，turningtowardsthepage，“Igivetheecommandofacompanyofarchers。Butforthefuturedonotthrowthingsoutofthewindow。“
Thenshe，delightedwithdeBeaune，offeredhimherhand，andledhimmostgallantlyintoherroom，wheretheyconversedfreelytogetherwhilesupperwasbeingprepared。TheretheSieurJacquesdidnotfailtoexhibithistalents，justifyhisfather，andraisehimselfintheestimationofthelady，who，asiswellknown，waslikeafatherindisposition，anddideverythingatrandom。JacquesdeBeaunethoughttohimselfthatitwouldberatherdifficultforhimtoremainallnightwiththeRegent。Suchmattersarenotsoeasilyarrangedastheamoursofcats，whohavealwaysaconvenientrefugeuponthehousetopsfortheirmomentsofdalliance。SoherejoicedthathewasknowntotheRegentwithoutbeingcompelledtofulfilhisrashpromise，sinceforthistobecarriedoutitwasnecessarythattheservantsandothersshouldbeoutoftheway，andherreputationsafe。
Nevertheless，suspectingthepowersofintrigueofthegoodlady，attimeshewouldaskhimselfifhewereequaltothetask。Butbeneaththesurfaceofconversation，thesamethingwasinthemindoftheRegent，whohadalreadymanagedaffairsquiteasdifficult，andshebeganmostcleverlytoarrangethemeans。Shesentforoneofhersecretaries，anadeptinallartsnecessaryfortheperfectgovernmentofakingdom，andorderedhimtogivehersecretlyafalsemessageduringthesupper。Thencametherepast，whichtheladydidnottouch，sinceherhearthadswollenlikeasponge，andsodiminishedherstomach，forshekeptthinkingofthishandsomeanddesirableman，havingnoappetitesaveforhim。Jacquesdidnotfailtomakeagoodmealformanyreasons。Themessengercame，madamebegantostorm，andtoknitherbrowsafterthemannerofthelateking，andtosay，“Istherenevertobepeaceinthisland？PasquesDieu！canwenothaveonequietevening？”Thensheroseandstrodeabouttheroom。“Hothere！Myhorse！WhereisMonsieurdeVieilleville，mysquire？Ah，heisinPicardy。D\'Estouteville，youwillrejoinmewithmyhouseholdattheChateaud\'Amboise……“AndlookingatJacques，shesaid，“Youshallbemysquire，SieurdeBeaune。Youwishtoservethestate。Theoccasionisagoodone。PasquesDieu！come！Therearerebelstosubdue，andfaithfulknightsareneeded。“
Inlesstimethananoldbeggarwouldhavetakentosaythankyou，thehorseswerebridled，saddled，andready。Madamewasonhermare，andtheTourainianatherside，gallopingatfullspeedtohercastleatAmboise，followedbythemen-at-arms。Tobebriefandcometothefactswithoutfurthercommentary，theDeBeaunewaslodgednottwentyyardsfromMadame，farfrompryingeyes。Thecourtiersandthehousehold，muchastonished，ranaboutinquiringfromwhatquarterthedangermightbeexpected；butourhero，takenathisword，knewwellenoughwheretofindit。ThevirtueoftheRegent，wellknowninthekingdom，savedherfromsuspicion，sinceshewassupposedbeasimpregnableastheChateaudePeronne。Atcurfew，wheneverythingwasshut，bothearsandeyes，andthecastlesilent，MadamedeBeaujeusentawayherhandmaid，andcalledforhersquire。Thesquirecame。
Thentheladyandtheadventurersatsidebysideuponavelvetcouch，intheshadowofaloftyfireplace，andthecuriousRegent，withatendervoice，askedofJacques“Areyoubruised？Itwasverywrongofmetomakeaknight，woundedbyoneonmyservants，ridetwelvemiles。
IwassoanxiousaboutitthatIwouldnotgotobedwithouthavingseenyou。Doyousuffer？”
“Isufferwithimpatience，“saidheofthedozen，thinkingitwouldnotdotoappearreluctant。“Iseewell，“continuedhe，“mynobleandbeautifulmistress，thatyourservanthasfoundfavourinyoursight。“
“There，there！”repliedshe；“didyounottellastorywhenyousaid——“
“What？”saidhe。
“Why，thatyouhadfollowedmedozensoftimestochurches，andotherplacestowhichIwent。“
“Certainly，“saidhe。
“Iamastonished，“repliedtheRegent，“nevertohaveseenuntiltodayanobleyouthwhosecourageissoapparentinhiscountenance。IamnotashamedofthatwhichyouheardmesaywhenIbelievedyoudead。
Youareagreeabletome，youpleaseme，andyouwishtodowell。“
Thenthehourofthedreadedsacrificehavingstruck，JacquesfellatthekneesoftheRegent，kissedherfeet，herhands，andeverything，itissaid；andwhilekissingher，previoustoretirement，provedbymanyargumentstotheagedvirtueofhissovereign，thataladybearingtheburdenofthestatehadaperfectrighttoenjoyherself——
atheorywhichwasnotdirectlyadmittedbytheRegent，whodeterminedtobeforced，inordertothrowtheburdenofthissinuponherlover。
Thisnotwithstanding，youmaybesurethatshehadhighlyperfumedandelegantlyattiredherselfforthenight，andshonewithdesireforembraces，fordesirelentherahighcolourwhichgreatlyimprovedhercomplexion；andinspiteofherfeebleresistanceshewas，likeayounggirl，carriedbyassaultinherroyalcouch，wherethegoodladyandheryoungdozener，embracedeachother。Thenfromplaytoquarrel，quarreltoriot，fromriottoribaldry，fromthreadtoneedle，theRegentdeclaredthatshebelievedmoreinthevirginityoftheHolyMarythaninthepromiseddozen。Now，bychance，JacquesdeBeaunedidnotfindthisgreatladysoveryoldbetweenthesheets，sinceeverythingismetamorphosedbythelightofthelampsofthenight。
Manywomenoffiftybydayaretwentyatmidnight，asothersaretwentyatmid-dayandahundredaftervespers。Jacques，happieratthissightthanatthatoftheKingonahangingday，renewedhisundertaking。Madame，herselfastonished，promisedeveryassistanceonherpart。ThemanorofAzay-le-Brule，withagoodtitlethereto，sheundertooktoconferuponhercavalier，aswellasthepardonofhisfather，iffromthisencountershecameforthvanquished，thenthecleverfellowssaidtohimself，“Thisistosavemyfatherfrompunishment！thisforthefief！thisforthelettingandselling！thisfortheforestofAzay！itemfortherightoffishing！anotherfortheIslesoftheIndre！thisforthemeadows！ImayaswellreleasefromconfiscationourlandofLaCarte，sodearlyboughtbymyfather！Oncemoreforaplaceatcourt！”Arrivingwithouthindranceatthispoint，hebelievedhisdignityinvolved，andfanciedthathavingFranceunderhim，itwasaquestionofthehonourofthecrown。Inshort，atthecostofavowwhichhemadetohispatron，MonsieurSt。Jacques，tobuildhimachapelatAzay，hepresentedhisliegehomagetotheRegentelevenclear，clean，limpid，andgenuineperiphrases。
Concerningtheepilogueofthisslowconversation，theTourainianhadthegreatself-confidencetowishexcellentlytoregaletheRegent，keepingforheronherwakingthesaluteofanhonestman，asitwasnecessaryforthelordofAzaytothankhissovereign，whichwaswiselythought。Butwhennatureisoppressed，sheactslikeaspiritedhorse，laysdown，andwilldieunderthewhipsoonerthanmoveuntilitpleaseshertorisereinvigorated。Thus，wheninthemorningtheseigniorofthecastleofAzaydesiredtosalutethedaughterofKingLouisXI。，hewasconstrained，inspiteofhiscourtesy，tomakethesaluteasroyalsalutesshouldbemade——withblankcartridgeonly。
ThereforetheRegent，aftergettingup，andwhileshewasbreakfastingwithJacques，whocalledhimselfthelegitimateLordofAzay，seizedtheoccasionofthisinsufficiencytocontradictheresquire，andpretend，thatashehadnotgainedhiswager，hehadnotearnedthemanor。
“Ventre-Saint-Paterne！Ihavebeennearenough，“saidJacques。“Butmydearladyandnoblesovereignitisnotproperforeitheryouormetojudgeinthiscause。Thecasebeinganallodialcase，mustbebroughtbeforeyourcouncil，sincethefiefofAzayisheldfromthecrown。“
“Pasquesdieu！”repliedtheRegentwithaforcedlaugh。“IgiveyoutheplaceoftheSieurdeVieillevilleinmyhouse。Don\'ttroubleaboutyourfather。IwillgiveyouAzay，andwillplaceyouinaroyalofficeifyoucan，withoutinjurytomyhonour，statethecaseinfullcouncil；butifonewordfallstothedamageofmyreputationasavirtuouswomen，I——“
“MayIbehanged，“saidJacques，turningthethingintoajoke，becausetherewasashadeofangerinthefaceofMadamedeBeaujeu。
Infact，thedaughterofKingLouisthoughtmoreofherroyaltythanoftheroguishdozen，whichsheconsideredasnothing，sincefancyingshehadhadhernight\'samusementwithoutlooseningherpurse-strings，shepreferredthedifficultrecitalofhisclaimtoanotherdozenofferedherbytheTourainian。
“Then，mylady，“repliedhergoodcompanion，“Ishallcertainlybeyoursquire。“
Thecaptains，secretaries，andotherpersonsholdingofficeundertheregency，astonishedatthesuddendepartureofMadamedeBeaujeu，learnedthecauseofheranxiety，andcameinhastetothecastleofAmboisetodiscoverwhenceprecededtherebellion，andwereinreadinesstoholdacouncilwhenherMajestyhadarisen。Shecalledthemtogether，nottobesuspectedofhavingdeceivedthem，andgavethemcertainfalsehoodstoconsider，whichtheyconsideredmostwisely。Atthecloseofthesitting，camethenewsquiretoaccompanyhismistress。Seeingthecouncillorsrising，theboldTourainianbeggedthemtodecideapointoflawwhichconcernedbothhimselfandthepropertyoftheCrown。
“Listentohim，“saidtheRegent。“Hespeakstruly。“
ThenJacquesdeBeaune，withoutbeingnervousatthesightofthisaugustcourt，spokeasfollows，orthereabouts：——“NobleLords，Ibegyou，althoughIamabouttospeaktoyouofwalnutshells，togiveyourattentiontothiscase，andpardonmethetriflingnatureofmylanguage。Onelordwaswalkingwithanotherinafruitgarden，andnoticedafinewalnuttree，wellplanted，wellgrown，worthlookingat，worthkeeping，althoughalittleempty；anuttreealwaysfresh，sweet-smelling，thetreewhichyouwouldnotleaveifyouoncesawit，atreeoflovewhichseemedthetreeofgoodandevil，forbiddenbytheLord，throughwhichwerebanishedourmotherEveandthegentlemanherhusband。Now，mylords，thissaidwalnuttreewasthesubjectofaslightdisputebetweenthetwo，andoneofthosemanywagerswhichareoccasionallymadebetweenfriends。Theyoungerboastedthathecouldthrowtwelvetimesthroughitastickwhichhehadinhishandatthetime——asmanypeoplehavewhowalkinagarden——andwitheachflightofthestickhewouldsendanuttotheground——“
“Thatis，Ibelievetheknottypointofthecase，“saidJacquesturningtowardstheRegent。
“Yes，gentlemen，“repliedshe，surprisedatthecraftofhersquire。
“Theotherwageredtothecontrary，“wentonthepleader。“Nowthefirstnamedthrowshisstickwithsuchprecisionofaim，sogently，andsowellthatbothderivedpleasuretherefrom，andbythejoyousprotectionofthesaints，whonodoubtwereamusedspectators，witheachthrowtherefellanut；infact，therefelltwelve。Butbychancethelastofthefallennutswasempty，andhadnonourishingpulpfromwhichcouldhavecomeanothernuttree，hadthegardenerplantedit。
Hasthemanwiththestickgainedhiswager？Judge。“
“Thethingisclearenough，“saidMessireAdamFumee，aTourainian，whoatthattimewasthekeeperoftheseals。“Thereisonlyonethingfortheothertodo。“
“Whatisthat？”saidtheRegent。
“Topaythewager，Madame。“
“Heisrathertooclever，“saidshe，tappinghersquireonthecheek。
“Hewillbehangedoneofthesedays。“
Shemeantitasajoke，butthesewordsweretherealhoroscopeofthesteward，whomountedthegallowsbytheladderofroyalfavour，throughthevengeanceofanotheroldwoman，andthenotorioustreasonofamanofBallan，hissecretary，whosefortunehehadmade，andwhosenamewasPrevost，andnotReneGentil，ascertainpersonshavewronglycalledhim。TheGanelonandbadservantgave，itissaid，toMadamed\'Angouleme，thereceiptforthemoneywhichhadbeengivenhimbyJacquesdeBeaune，thenbecomeBaronofSamblancay，lordofLaCarteandAzay，andoneoftheforemostmeninthestate。Ofhistwosons，onewasArchbishopofTourstheotherMinisterofFinanceandGovernorofTouraine。Butthisisnotthesubjectofthepresenthistory。
Nowthatwhichconcernsthepresentnarrative，isthatMadamedeBeaujeu，towhomthepleasureoflovehadcomeratherlateintheday，wellpleasedwiththegreatwisdomandknowledgeofpublicaffairswhichherchanceloverpossessed，madehimLordofthePrivyPurse，inwhichofficehebehavedsowell，andaddedsomuchtothecontentsofit，thathisgreatrenownprocuredforhimonedaythehandlingoftherevenueswhichhesuperintendedandcontrolledmostadmirably，andwithgreatprofittohimself，whichwasbutfair。ThegoodRegentpaidthebet，andhandedovertohersquirethemanorofAzay-le-Brule，ofwhichthecastlehadlongbeforebeendemolishedbythefirstbombardierswhocamefromTouraine，aseveryoneknows。Forthispowderymiracle，butfortheinterventionoftheking，thesaidengineerswouldhavebeencondemnedashereticsandabettorsofSatan，bytheecclesiasticaltribuneofthechapter。
AtthistimetherewasbeingbuiltwithgreatcarebyMessireBohier，MinisterofFinance，theCastleofChenonceaux，whichasacuriosityandnoveldesign，wasplacedrightacrosstheriverCher。
NowtheBarondeSamblancay，wishingtoopposethesaidBohier，determinedtolaythefoundationofthisatthebottomoftheIndre，whereitstillstands，thegemofthisfairgreenvalley，sosolidlywasitplaceduponthepiles。ItcostJacquesdeBeaunethirtythousandcrowns，notcountingtheworkdonebyhisvassals。Youmaytakeitforgrantedthiscastlewasoneofthefinest，prettiest，mostexquisiteandmostelaboratecastlesofoursweetTouraine，andlavesitselfintheIndrelikeaprincelycreature，gaylydeckedwithpavilionsandlacecurtainedwindows，withfineweather-beatensoldiersonhervanes，turningwhicheverwaythewindblows，asallsoldiersdo。ButSamblancaywashangedbeforeitwasfinished，andsincethattimenoonehasbeenfoundwithsufficientmoneytocompleteit。Nevertheless，hismaster，KingFrancistheFirst，wasoncehisguest，andtheroyalchamberisstillshownthere。Whenthekingwasgoingtobed，Samblancay，whomthekingcalled“oldfellow，“
inhonourofhiswhitehairs，hearinghisroyalmaster，towhomhewasdevotedlyattached，remark，“Yourclockhasjuststrucktwelve，oldfellow！”replied，“Ah！sire，totwelvestrokesofahammer，anoldonenow，butyearsagoagoodone，atthishouroftheclockdoIowemylands，themoneyspentonthisplace，andhonourofbeinginyourservice。“
Thekingwishedtoknowwhathisministermeantbythesestrangewords；andwhenhismajestywasgettingintobed，JacquesdeBeaunenarratedtohimthehistorywithwhichyouareacquainted。NowFrancistheFirst，whowaspartialtothesespicystories，thoughttheadventureaverydrollone，andwasthemoreamusedthereatbecauseatthattimehismother，theDuchessd\'Angouleme，inthedeclineoflife，waspursuingtheConstableofBourbon，inordertoobtainofhimoneofthesedozens。Wickedloveofawickedwoman，fortherefromproceededtheperilofthekingdom，thecaptureoftheking，andthedeath——ashasbeenbeforementioned——ofpoorSamblancay。
IhavehereendeavouredtorelatehowtheChateaud\'Azaycametobebuilt，becauseitiscertainthatthuswascommencedthegreatfortuneofthatSamblancaywhodidsomuchforhisnataltown，whichheadorned；andalsospentsuchimmensesumsuponthecompletionofthetowersofthecathedral。Thisluckyadventurehasbeenhandeddownfromfathertoson，andlordtolord，inthesaidplaceofAzay-les-
Ridel，wherethestoryfrisksstillunderthecurtainsoftheking，whichhavebeencuriouslyrespecteddowntothepresentday。ItisthereforethefalsestoffalsitieswhichattributesthedozenoftheTourainiantoaGermanknight，whobythisdeedwouldhavesecuredthedomainsofAustriatotheHouseofHapsburgh。Theauthorofourdays，whobroughtthishistorytolight，althoughalearnedman，hasallowedhimselftobedeceivedbycertainchroniclers，sincethearchivesoftheRomanEmpiremakenomentionofanacquisitionofthiskind。Iamangrywithhimforhavingbelievedthata“braguette“nourishedwithbeer，couldhavebeenequaltothealchemicaloperationsoftheChinonian“braguettes，“somuchesteemedbyRabelais。AndIhavefortheadvantageofthecountry，thegloryofAzay，theconscienceofthecastle，andrenownoftheHouseofBeaune，fromwhichsprangtheSauvesandtheNoirmoutiers，re-establishedthefactsinalltheirveritable，historical，andadmirablebeauty。Shouldanyladiespayavisittothecastle，therearestilldozenstobefoundintheneighbourhood，buttheycanonlybeprocuredretail。
THEFALSECOURTESAN
Thatwhichcertainpeopledonotknow，isathetruthconcerningthedeceaseoftheDukeofOrleans，brotherofKingCharlesVI。，adeathwhichproceededfromagreatnumberofcauses，oneofwhichwillbethesubjectofthisnarrative。ThisprincewasforcertainthemostlecherousofalltheroyalraceofMonseigneurSt。LouiswhowasinhislifetimeKingofFrance，withoutevenputtingononesidesomeofthemostdebauchedofthisfinefamily，whichwassoconcordantwiththevicesandespecialqualitiesofourbraveandpleasure-
seekingnation，thatyoucouldmoreeasilyimagineHellwithoutSatanthanFrancewithouthervalorous，glorious，andjovialkings。Soyoucanlaughasloudlyatthosemuckwormsofphilosophywhogoaboutsaying，“Ourfatherswerebetter，“asatthegood，philanthropicaloldbunglerswhopretendthatmankindisontherightroadtoperfection。
Theseareoldblindbats，whoobserveneithertheplumageofoystersnortheshellsofbirds，whichchangenomorethanourways。Hip，hip，huzzah！then，makemerrywhileyou\'reyoung。Keepyourthroatswetandyoureyesdry，sinceahundredweightofmelancholyisworthlessthananounceofjollity。Thewrongdoingsofthislord，loverofQueenIsabella，whomhedotedupon，broughtaboutpleasantadventures，sincehewasagreatwit，ofAlcibaidescalnature，andachipofftheoldblock。Itwashewhofirstconceivedtheideaofarelayofsweethearts，sothatwhenhewentfromParistoBordeaux，everytimeheunsettledhisnaghefoundreadyforhimagoodmealandabedwithasmuchlaceinsideasout。HappyPrince！whodiedonhorseback，forhewasalwaysacrosssomethingin-doorsandout。OfhiscomicaljokesourmostexcellentKingLouistheEleventhhasgivenasplendidsampleinthebookof“CentNouvellesNouvelles，“writtenunderhissuperintendenceduringhisexile，attheCourtofBurgundy，where，duringthelongevenings，inordertoamusethemselves，heandhiscousinCharoloiswouldrelatetoeachotherthegoodtricksandjokesoftheperiod；andwhentheywerehardupfortruestories，eachofthecourtierstriedwhocouldinventthebestone。Butoutofrespectfortheroyalblood，theDauphinhascreditedatownsmanwiththatwhichhappenedtotheLadyofCany。Itisgivenunderthetitleof“LaMedaillearevers“，inthecollectionofwhichitisoneofthebrightestjewels，andcommencesthehundred。Butnowformine。
TheDucd\'OrleanshadinhissuitealordoftheprovinceofPicardy，namedRaould\'Hocquetonville，whohadtakenforawife，tothefuturetroubleoftheprince，ayoungladyrelatedtothehouseofBurgundy，andrichindomains。But，anexceptiontothegeneralrunofheiresses，shewasofsodazzlingabeauty，thatalltheladiesofthecourt，eventheQueenandMadameValentine，werethrownintotheshade；nevertheless，thiswasasnothingintheladyofHocquetonville，comparedwithherBurgundianconsanguinity，herinheritances，herprettiness，andgentlenature，becausetheserareadvantagesreceivedareligiouslustrefromhersupremeinnocence，sweetmodesty，andchasteeducation。TheDukehadnotlonggazeduponthisheaven-sentflowerbeforehewasseizedwiththefeveroflove。
Hefellintoastateofmelancholy，frequentednobadplaces，andonlywithregretnowandthendidhetakeabiteathisroyalanddaintyGermanmorselIsabella。Hebecamepassionate，andsworeeitherbysorcery，byforce，bytrickery，orwithherconsent，toenjoytheflavoursofthisgentlelady，who，bythesightofhersweetbody，forcedhimtothelastextremity，duringhisnowlongandwearynights。Atfirst，hepursuedherwithhoniedwords，buthesoonknewbyheruntroubledairthatshewasdeterminedtoremainvirtuous，forwithoutappearingastonishedathisproceedings，orgettingangrylikecertainotherladies，sherepliedtohim，“Mylord，ImustinformyouthatIdonotdesiretotroublemyselfwiththeloveofotherpersons，notthatIdespisethejoyswhicharethereintobeexperiencedassupremetheymustbe，sincesomanyladiescastintotheabyssoflovetheirhomes，theirhonour，theirfuture，andeverything，butfromtheloveIbearmychildren。NeverwouldIbethecauseofablushupontheircheeks，forinthisideawillIbringupmydaughters——thatinvirtuealoneishappinesstobefound。For，mylord，ifthedaysofouroldagearemorenumerousthanthoseofouryouth，ofthemmustwethink。FromthosewhobroughtmeupIlearnedtoproperlyestimatethislife，andIknowthateverythingthereinistransitory，exceptthesecurityofthenaturalaffections。ThusIwishfortheesteemofeveryone，andaboveallthatofmyhusband，whoisalltheworldtome。ThereforedoIdesiretoappearhonestinhissight。Ihavefinished，andIentreatyoutoallowmeunmolestedtoattendtomyhouseholdaffairs，otherwiseIwillunhesitatinglyreferthemattertomylordandmaster，whowillquityourservice。“
Thisbravereplyrenderedtheking\'sbrothermoreamorousthanever，andheendeavouredtoensnarethisnoblewomaninordertopossessher，deadoralive，andheneverdoubtedabitthathewouldhaveherinhisclutches，relyinguponhisdexterityatthiskindofsport，themostjoyousofall，inwhichitisnecessarytoemploytheweaponsofallotherkindsofsport，seeingthatthissweetgameistakenrunning，bytakingaim，bytorchlight，bynight，byday，inthetown，inthecountry，inthewoods，bythewaterside，innets，withfalcons，withthelance，withthehorn，withthegun，withthedecoybird，insnares，inthetoils，withabirdcall，bythescent，onthewing，withthecornet，inslime，withabait，withthelime-twig——indeed，bymeansofallthesnaresinventedsincethebanishmentofAdam。Andgetskilledinvariousdifferentways，butgenerallyisoverridden。
Theartfulfellowceasedtomentionhisdesires，buthadapostofhonourgiventotheLadyofHocquetonville，inthequeen\'shousehold。
Now，onedaythatthesaidIsabellawenttoVincennes，tovisitthesickKing，andlefthimmasteroftheHotelSt。Paul，hecommandedthecheftohaveadelicateandroyalsupperprepared，andtoserveitinthequeen\'sapartments。Thenhesentforhisobstinateladybyexpresscommand，andbyoneofthepagesofthehousehold。TheCountessd\'Hocquetonville，believingthatshewasdesiredbyMadameIsabellaforsomeserviceappertainingtoherpost，orinvitedtosomesuddenamusement，hastenedtotheroom。Inconsequenceoftheprecautionstakenbythedisloyallover，noonehadbeenabletoinformthenobledameoftheprincess\'sdeparture，soshehastenedtothesplendidchamber，which，intheHotelSt。Paul，ledintothequeen\'sbedchamber；thereshefoundtheDucd\'Orleansalone。Suspectingsometreacherousplot，shewentquicklyintotheotherroom，foundnoqueen，butheardthePrincegiveventtoaheartylaugh。
“Iamundone！”saidshe。Thensheendeavouredtorunaway。
Butthegoodlady-killerhadpostedaboutdevotedattendants，who，withoutknowingwhatwasgoingon，closedthehotel，barricadedthedoors，andinthismansion，solargethatitequalledafourthofParis，theLadyd\'Hocquetonvillewasasinadesert，withnootheraidthanthatofherpatronsaintandGod。Then，suspectingthetruth，thepoorladytrembledfromheadtofootandfellintoachair；andthentheworkingofthissnare，socleverlyconceived，was，withmanyaheartylaugh，revealedtoherbyherlover。Directlythedukemadeamovementtoapproachherthiswomanroseandexclaimed，armingherselffirstwithhertongue，andflashingonethousandmaledictionsfromhereyes——
“Youwillpossessme——butdead！Ha！mylord，donotforcemetoastrugglewhichmustbecomeknowntocertainpeople。Imayyetretire，andtheSired\'Hocquetonvilleshallbeignorantofthesorrowwithwhichyouhaveforevertingedmylife。Duke，youlooktoooftenintheladies\'facestofindtimetostudymen\'s，andyoudonotthereforeknowyourman。TheSired\'Hocquetonvillewouldlethimselfbehackedtopiecesinyourservice，sodevotedishetoyou，inmemoryofyourkindnesstohim，andalsobecauseheispartialtoyou。Butashelovessodoeshehate；andIbelievehimtobethemantobringhismacedownuponyourhead，totakehisrevenge，ifyoubutcompelmetoutteronecry。Doyoudesirebothmydeathandyourown？Butbeassuredthat，asanhonestwoman，whateverhappenstome，goodorevil，Ishallkeepnosecret。Now，willyouletmego？”
Thebadfellowbegantowhistle。Hearinghiswhistling，thegoodwomanwentsuddenlyintothequeen\'schamber，andtookfromaplaceknowntohertherein，asharpstiletto。Then，whenthedukefollowedhertoascertainwhatthisflightmeant，“Whenyoupassthatline，“criedshe，pointingtoaboard，“Iwillkillmyself。“
Mylord，withoutbeingintheleastterrified，tookachair，placeditattheveryedgeoftheplankinquestion，andcommencedaglowingdescriptionofcertainthings，hopingtoinfluencethemindofthisbravewoman，andworkhertothatpointthatherbrain，herheart，andeverythingshouldbeathismercy。Thenhecommencedtosaytoher，inthatdelicatemannertowhichprincesareaccustomed，that，inthefirstplace，virtuouswomenpaydearlyfortheirvirtue，sinceinordertogaintheuncertainblessingsofthefuture，theyloseallthesweetestjoysofthepresent，becausehusbandswerecompelled，frommotivesofconjugalpolicy，notshowthemallthejewelsintheshrineoflove，sincethesaidjewelswouldsoaffecttheirhearts，wassorapturouslydelicious，sotitillatinglyvoluptuous，thatawomanwouldnolongerconsenttodwellinthecoldregionsofdomesticlife；andhedeclaredthismaritalabominationtobeagreatfelony，becausetheleastthingamancoulddoinrecognitionofthevirtuouslifeofagoodwomanandhergreatmerits，wastooverworkhimself，toexert，toexterminatehimself，topleaseherineveryway，withfondlingsandkissingsandwrestlings，andallthedelicaciesandsweetconfectioneryoflove；andthat，ifshewouldtastealittleoftheseraphicjoysoftheselittlewaystoherunknown，shewouldbelievealltheotherthingsoflifeasnotworthastraw；andthat，ifsuchwereherwish，hewouldforeverbeassilentasthegrave，andlastnoscandalwouldbesmearhervirtue。Andthelewdfellow，perceivingthattheladydidnotstopherears，commencedtodescribetoher，afterthefashionofarabesquepictures，whichatthattimeweremuchesteemed，thewantoninventionsofdebauchery。Thendidhiseyesshootflame，hiswordsburn，andhisvoicering，andhehimselftookgreatpleasureincallingtomindthevariouswaysofhisladies，namingthemtoMadamed\'Hocquetonville，andevenrevealingtoherthetricks，caresses，andamorouswaysofQueenIsabella，andhemadeuseofexpressionsograciousandsoardentlyinciting，that，fancyingitcausedtheladytorelaxherholduponthestilettoalittle，hemadeasiftoapproachher。Butshe，ashamedtobefoundburiedinthought，gazedproudlyatthediabolicalleviathanwhotemptedher，andsaidtohim，“Finesir，Ithankyou。Youhavecausedmetolovemyhusbandallthemore，forfromyourdiscourseIlearnhowmuchheesteemsmebyholdingmeinsuchrespectthathedoesnotdishonourhiscouchwiththetricksofstreet-walkersandbadwomen。Ishouldthinkmyselfforeverdisgraced，andshouldbecontaminatedtoalleternityifIputmyfootinthesesloughswheregotheseshamelesshussies。Aman\'swifeisonething，andhismistressanother。“
“Iwillwager，“saidtheduke，smiling，“that，nevertheless，forthefutureyouspurtheSired\'Hocquetonvilletoalittlesharperpace。“
Atthisthegoodwomantrembled，andcried，“Youareawickedman。NowIbothdespiseandabominateyou！What！unabletorobmeofmyhonour，youattempttopoisonmymind！Ah，mylord，thisnight\'sworkwillcostyoudear——
“IfIforgetit，ayet，Godwillnotforget。
“Arenotthoseofverseisyours？”
“Madame，“saidtheduke，turningpalewithanger，“Icanhaveyoubound——“
“Ohno！Icanfreemyself，“repliedshe，brandishingthestiletto。
Therapscallionbegantolaugh。
“Nevermind，“saidhe。“Ihaveameansofplungingyouintothesloughsofthreebrazenhussies，asyoucallthem。“
“Never，whileIlive。“
“Headandheelsyoushallgoin——withyourtwofeet，twohands，twoivorybreasts，andtwootherthings，whiteassnow——yourteeth，yourhair，andeverything。Youwillgoofyourownaccord；youshallenterintoitlasciviously，andinawaytocrushyourcavalier，asawildhorsedoesitsrider——stamping，leaping，andsnorting。IswearitbySaintCastud！”
Instantlyhewhistledforoneofhispages。Andwhenthepagecame，hesecretlyorderedhimtogoandseektheSired\'Hocquetonville，Savoisy，Tanneguy，Cypierre，andothermembersofhisband，askingthemtotheseroomstosupper，notwithoutatthesametimeinvitingtomeethisguestsaprettypetticoatortwo。
Thenhecameandsatdowninhischairagain，tenpacesfromthelady，offwhomhehadnottakenhiseyewhilegivinghiscommandstothepageinawhisper。
“Raoulisjealous，“saidhe。“Nowletmegiveyouawordofadvice。Inthisplace，“headded，pointingtoasecretdoor，“aretheoilsandsuperfineperfumesofthequeen；inthisotherlittleclosetsheperformsherablutionsandlittlefeminineoffices。Iknowbymuchexperiencethateachoneofyougentlecreatureshasherownspecialperfume，bywhichsheissmeltandrecognised。Soif，asyousay，Raoulisoverwhelminglyjealouswiththeworstofalljealousies，youwillusethesefasthussies\'scents，becauseyourdangerapproachesfast。“
“Ah，mylord，whatdoyouintendtodo？”
“Youwillknowwhenitisnecessarythatyoushouldknow。Iwishyounoharm，andpledgeyoumyhonour，asaloyalknight，thatIwillalmostthoroughlyrespectyou，andbeforeversilentconcerningmydiscomfiture。Inshort，youwillknowthattheDucd\'Orleanshasagoodheart，andrevengeshimselfnoblyonladieswhotreathimwithdisdain，byplacingintheirhandsthekeyofParadise。Onlykeepyourearsopentothejoyouswordsthatwillbehandedfrommouthtomouthinthenextroom，andcoughnotifyouloveyourchildren。“
Sincetherewasnoegressfromtheroyalchamber，andthebarscrossinghardlyleftroomtoputone\'sheadthrough，thegoodprinceclosedthedooroftheroom，certainofkeepingtheladyasafeprisonerthere，andagainimpresseduponherthenecessityofsilence。
Thencamethemerrybladesingreathaste，andfoundagoodandsubstantialsuppersmilingatthemfromthesilverplatesuponthetable，andthetablewellarrangedandwelllighted，loadedwithfinesilvercups，andcupsfullofroyalwine。Thensaidtheirmastertothem——
“Come！Come！toyourplacesmygoodfriends。Iwasbecomingveryweary。Thinkingofyou，Iwishedtoarrangewithyouamerryfeastaftertheancientmethod，whentheGreeksandRomanssaidtheirPaternostertoMasterPriapus，andthelearnedgodcalledinallcountriesBacchus。Thefeastwillbeproperandarightheartyone，sinceatourlibationtherewillbepresentsomeprettycrowswiththreebeaks，ofwhichIknowfromgreatexperiencethebestonetokiss。“
Thenallofthemrecognisingtheirmasterinallthings，tookpleasureinthisdiscourse，exceptRaould\'Hocquetonville，whoadvancedandsaidtotheprince——
“Mylord，Iwillaidyouwillinglyinanybattlebutthatofthepetticoats，inthatofspearandaxe，butnotofthewineflasks。Mygoodcompanionsherepresenthavenotwivesathome，itisotherwisewithme。Ihaveasweetwife，towhomIowemycompany，andanaccountofallmydeedsandactions。“
“Then，sinceIamamarriedmanIamtoblame？”saidtheduke。
“Ah！mydearmaster，youareaprince，andcandoasyouplease。“
Thesebravespeechesmade，asyoucanimagine，theheartoftheladyprisonerhotandcold。
“Ah！myRaoul，“thoughtshe，“thouartanobleman！”
“Youare，“saidtheduke，“amanwhomIlove，andconsidermorefaithfulandpraiseworthythananyofmypeople。Theothers，“saidhe，lookingatthethreelords，“arewickedmen。But，Raoul，“hecontinued，“sittheedown。Whenthelinnetscome——theyarelinnetsofhighdegree——youcanmakeyourwayhome。S\'death！Ihadtreatedtheeasavirtuousman，ignorantoftheextra-conjugaljoysoflove，andhadcarefullyputfortheeinthatroomthequeenofraptures——afairdemon，inwhomisconcentratedallfeminineinventions。Iwishedthatonceinthylifethou，whohasnevertastedtheessenceoflove，anddreamedbutofwar，shouldknowthesecretmarvelsofthegallantamusement，sinceitisshamefulthatoneofmyfollowersshouldserveafairladybadly。“
ThereupontheSired\'Hocquetonvillesatdowntoatableinordertopleasehisprinceasfarashecouldlawfullydoso。Thentheyallcommencedtolaugh，joke，andtalkabouttheladies；andaccordingtotheircustom，theyrelatedtoeachothertheirgoodfortunesandtheirloveadventures，sparingnowomanexceptthequeenofthehouse，andbetrayingthelittlehabitsofeachone，towhichfollowedhorriblelittleconfidences，whichincreasedintreacheryandlecheryasthecontentsofthegobletsgrewless。Theduke，gayasauniversallegatee，drewtheguestsout，tellinglieshimselftolearnthetruthfromthem；andhiscompanionsateatatrot，drankatafullgallop，andtheirtonguesrattledawayfasterthaneither。
Now，listeningtothem，andheatinghisbrainwithwine，theSired\'Hocquetonvilleunharnessedhimselflittlebylittlefromthereluctance。Inspiteofhisvirtues，heindulgedcertaindesires，andbecamesoakedintheseimpuritieslikeasaintwhodefileshimselfwhilesayinghisprayers。Perceivingwhich，theprince，onthealerttosatisfyhisireandhisbile，begantosaytohim，jokinghim——
“BySaintCastud，Raoul，wearealltarredwiththesamebrush，alldiscreetawayfromhere。Go；wewillsaynothingtoMadame。Byheaven！
man，Iwishtheetotasteofthejoysofparadise。There，“saidhe，tappingthedooroftheroominwhichwasMadamed\'Hocquetonville，“inthereisaladyofthecourtandafriendofthequeen，butthegreatestpriestessofVenusthateverwas，andherequalisnottobefoundinanycourtesan，harlot，dancer，doxy，orhussy。Shewasengenderedatamomentwhenparadisewasradiantwithjoy，whennaturewasprocreating，whentheplanetswerewhisperingvowsoflove，whenthebeastswerefriskingandcapering，andeverythingwasaglowwithdesire。Althoughthewomenmakeanaltarofherbed，sheisneverthelesstoogreataladytoallowherselftobeseen，andtoowellknowntoutteranywordsbutthesoundsoflove。Nolightwillyouneed，forhereyesflashfire，andattemptnoconversation，sinceshespeaksonlywithmovementsandtwistingsmorerapidthanthoseofadeersurprisedintheforest。Only，mydearRaoul，butsomerryanaglooktoyourstirrups，sitlightinthesaddle，sincewithoneplungeshewouldhurltheetotheceiling，ifyouarenotcareful。Sheburnsalways，andisalwayslongingformalesociety。Ourpoordeadfriend，theyoungSiredeGiac，methisdeaththroughher；shedrainedhismarrowinonespringtime。God\'struth！toknowsuchblissasthatofwhichsheringsthebellsandlightsthefires，whatmanwouldnotforfeitathirdofhisfuturehappiness？andhewhohasknownheroncewouldforasecondnightforfeitwithoutregreteternity。“
“But，“saidRaoul，“inthingswhichshouldbesomuchalike，howisitthatthereissogreatadifference？”
“Ha！Ha！Ha！”
Thereuponthecompanyburstoutlaughing，andanimatedbythewineandawinkfromtheirmaster，theyallcommencedrelatingdrollandquaintconceits，laughing，shouting，andmakingagreatnoise。Now，knowingnotthataninnocentscholarwasthere，thesejokers，whohaddrownedtheirsenseofshameinthewine-cups，saidthingstomakethefiguresonthemantelshake，thewallsandtheceilingsblush；andthedukesurpassedthemall，saying，thattheladywhowasinbedinthenextroomawaitingagallantshouldbetheempressofthesewarmimaginations，becauseshepractisedthemeverynight。Uponthistheflagonsbeingempty，thedukepushedRaoul，wholethimselfbepushedwillingly，intotheroom，andbythismeanstheprincecompelledtheladytodeliberatebywhichdaggershewouldliveordie。AtmidnighttheSired\'Hocquetonvillecameoutgleefully，notwithoutremorseathavingbeenfalsetohisgoodwife。ThentheDucd\'OrleansledMadamed\'Hocquetonvilleoutbyagardendoor，sothatshegainedherresidencebeforeherhusbandarrivedhere。
“This，“saidshe，intheprince\'sear，asshepassedthepostern，“willcostusalldear。“
Oneyearafterwards，intheoldRueduTemple，Raould\'Hocquetonville，whohadquittedtheserviceoftheDukeforthatofJehanofBurgundy，gavetheking\'sbrotherablowontheheadwithaclub，andkilledhim，aseveryoneknows。InthesameyeardiedtheLadyd\'Hocquetonville，havingfadedlikeaflowerdeprivedofairandeatenbyaworm。Hergoodhusbandhadengraveduponhermarbletomb，whichisinoneofthecloistersofPeronne，thefollowinginscription——
HERELIES
BERTHADEBOURGONGE
THENOBLEANDCOMELYWIFE
OF
RAOUL，SIREDEHOCQUETONVILLE。
ALAS！PRAYNOTFORHERSOUL
SHE
BLOSSOMEDAGAININPARADISE
THEELEVENTHDAYOFJANUARY
INTHEYEAROFOURLORDMCCCCVIII。，INTHETWENTY-THIRDYEAROFHERAGE，LEAVINGTWOSONSANDHERLORDSPOUSE
INCONSOLABLE。
ThisepitaphwaswritteninelegantLatin，butfortheconvenienceofallitwasnecessarytotranslateit，althoughthewordcomelyisfeeblebesidethatofformosa，whichsignifiesbeautifulinshape。TheDukeofBurgundy，calledtheFearless，inwhomprevioustohisdeaththeSired\'Hocquetonvilleconfidedthetroublescementedwithlimeandsandinhisheart，usedtosay，inspiteofhishardheartednessinthesematters，thatthisepitaphplungedhimintoastateofmelancholyforamonth，andthatamongalltheabominationsofhiscousinofOrleans，therewasoneforwhichhewouldkillhimoveragainifthedeedhadnotalreadybeendone，becausethiswickedmanhadvillianouslydefacedwithvicethemostdivinevirtueintheworldandhadprostitutedtwonoblehearts，theonebytheother。WhensayingthishewouldthinkoftheladyofHocquetonvilleandofhisown，whichportraithadbeenunwarrantablyplacedinthecabinetwherehiscousinplacedthelikenessofhiswenches。
Theadventurewassoextremelyshocking，thatwhenitwasrelatedbytheCountdeCharoloistotheDauphin，afterwardsLouisXI。，thelatterwouldnotallowhissecretariestopublishitinhiscollection，outofrespectforhisgreatuncletheDuked\'Orleans，andforDunoishisoldcomrade，thesonofthesame。ButthepersonoftheladyofHocquetonvilleissosublimelyvirtuous，soexquisitelymelancholy，thatinherfavourthepresentpublicationofthisnarrativewillbeforgiven，inspiteofthediabolicalinventionandvengeanceofMonseigneurd\'Orleans。Thejustdeathofthisrascalneverthelesscausedmanyseriousrebellions，whichfinallyLouisXI。，losingallpatience，putdownwithfireandsword。
Thisshowsusthatthereisawomanatthebottomofeverything，inFranceaselsewhere，andthatsoonerorlaterwemustpayforourfollies。
THEDANGEROFBEINGTOOINNOCENT
TheLordofMontcontourwasabravesoldierofTours，whoinhonourofthebattlegainedbytheDukeofAnjou，afterwardsourrightgloriousking，causedtobebuiltatVouvraythecastlethusnamed，forhehadbornehimselfmostbravelyinthataffair，whereheovercamethegreatestofheretics，andfromthatwasauthorisedtotakethename。
Nowthissaidcaptainhadtwosons，goodCatholics，ofwhomtheeldestwasinfavouratcourt。Afterthepeace，whichwasconcludedbeforethestratagemarrangedforStBartholomew\'sDay，thegoodmanreturnedtohismanor，whichwasnotornamentedasitisatthepresentday。
Therehereceivedthesadannouncementofthedeathofhisson，slaininaduelbythelordofVillequier。Thepoorfatherwasthemorecutupatthis，ashehadarrangedacapitalmarriageforthesaidsonwithayoungladyofthemalebranchofAmboise。Now，bythisdeathmostpiteouslyinopportune，vanishedallthefutureandadvantagesofhisfamily，ofwhichhewishedtomakeagreatandnoblehouse。Withthisidea，hehadputhisothersoninamonastery，undertheguidanceandgovernmentofamanrenownedforhisholiness，whobroughthimupinaChristianmanner，accordingtothedesireofhisfather，whowishedfromhighambitiontomakehimacardinalofrenown。Forthisthegoodabbotkepttheyoungmaninaprivatehouse，andhadtosleepbyhissideinhiscell，allowednoevilweedstogrowinhismind，broughthimupinpurityofsoulandtruecondition，asallpriestsshouldbe。Thissaidclerk，whenturnednineteenyears，knewnootherlovethantheloveofGod，noothernaturethanthatoftheangelswhohadnotourcarnalproperties，inorderthattheymayliveinpurity，seeingthatotherwisetheywouldmakegooduseofthem。ThewhichtheKingonhigh，whowishedtohaveHispagesalwaysproper，wasafraidof。Hehasdonewell，becauseHisgoodlittlepeoplecannotdrinkindramshopsorriotinbrothelsasoursdo。Heisdivinelyserved；butthenremember，HeisLordofall。NowinthisplightthelordofMontcontourdeterminedtowithdrawhissecondsonfromthecloister，andinvesthimwiththepurpleofthesoldierandcourtier，intheplaceoftheecclesiasticalpurple；anddeterminedtogivehiminmarriagetothemaiden，affiancedtothedeadman，whichwaswiselydeterminedbecausewrappedroundwithcontinenceandsobrietyinallwaysaswasthelittlemonk，thebridewouldbeaswellusedandhappierthanshewouldhavebeenwiththeelder，alreadywellhauledover，upset，andspoiledbytheladiesofthecourt。Thebefrocked，unfrocked，andverysheepishinhisways，followedthesacredwishesofhisfather，andconsentedtothesaidmarriagewithoutknowingwhatawife，and——whatismorecurious——whatagirlwas。Bychance，hisjourneyhavingbeenhinderedbythetroublesandmarchesofconflictingparties，thisinnocent——moreinnocentthanitislawfulforamantobeinnocent——onlycametothecastleofMontcontourtheeveningbeforethewedding，whichwasperformedwithdispensationsboughtinbythearchbishopricofTours。Itisnecessaryheretodescribethebride。Hermother，longtimeawidow，livedintheHouseofM。deBraguelongne，civillieutenantoftheChateletdeParis，whosewifelivedwithlordofLignieres，tothegreatscandaloftheperiod。Buteveryonethenhadsomanyjoistsinhisowneyethathehadnorighttonoticetheraftersintheeyesofothers。Now，inallfamiliespeoplegotoperdition，withoutnoticingtheirneighbours，someatanamble，othersatagentletrot，manyatagallop，andasmallnumberwalking，seeingthattheroadisalldownhill。Thusinthesetimesthedevilhadmanyagoodorgyinallthings，sincethatmisconductwasfashionable。ThepooroldladyVirtuehadretiredtrembling，nooneknewwhither，butnowhere，nowthere，livedmiserablyincompanywithhonestwomen。
InthemostnoblehouseAmboisetherestilllivedtheDowagerofChaumont，anoldwomanofwellprovedvirtue，inwhomhadretiredallthereligionandgoodconductofthisfinefamily。Thesaidladyhadtakentoherbosom，fromtheageoftenyears，thelittlemaidenwhoisconcernedinthisadventure，andwhohadnevercausedMadameAmboisetheleastanxiety，butleftherfreeinhermovements，andshecametoseeherdaughteronceayear，whenthecourtpassedthatway。
Inspiteofthishighmaternalreserve，MadameAmboisewasinvitedtoherdaughter\'swedding，andalsothelordofBraguelongne，bythegoodoldsoldier，whoknewhispeople。ButthedeardowagercamenottoMontcontour，becauseshecouldnotobtainrelieffromhersciatica，hercold，northestateofherlegs，whichgambolednolonger。Overthisthegoodwomancriedcopiously。Ithurthermuchtoletgointothedangersofthecourtandoflifethisgentlemaiden，asprettyasitwaspossibleforaprettygirltobe，butshewasobligedtogiveherherwings。Butitwasnotwithoutpromisinghermanymassesandorisonseveryeveningforherhappiness。Andcomfortedalittle，thegoodoldladybegantothinkthatthestaffofheroldagewaspassingintothehandsofaquasi-saint，broughtuptodogoodbytheabove-
mentionedabbot，withwhomshewasacquainted，thewhichhadaidedconsiderablyinthepromptexchangeofspouses。Atlength，embracingherwithtears，thevirtuousdowagermadethoselastrecommendationstoherthatladiesmaketoyoungbrides，asthatsheoughttoberespectfultohismother，andobeyherhusbandineverything。
Thenthemaidarrivedwithagreatnoise，conductedbyservants，chamberlains，grooms，gentlemen，andpeopleofthehouseofChaumont，sothatyouwouldhaveimaginedhersuitetobethatofacardinallegate。Soarrivedthetwospousestheeveningbeforemarriage。Then，thefeastingover，theyweremarriedwithgreatpompontheLord\'sDay，amassbeingsaidatthecastlebytheBishopofBlois，whowasagreatfriendofthelordofMontcontour；inshort，thefeasting，thedancing，andthefestivitiesofallsortslastedtillthemorning。Butonthestrokeofmidnightthebridesmaidswenttoputthebridetobed，accordingtothecustomofTouraine；andduringthistimetheykeptquarrellingwiththeinnocenthusband，topreventhimgoingtothisinnocentwife，whosidedwiththemfromignorance。However，thegoodlordofMontcontourinterruptedthejokersandthewits，becauseitwasnecessarythathissonshouldoccupyhimselfinwell-doing。
Thenwenttheinnocentintothechamberofhiswife，whomhethoughtmorebeautifulthantheVirginMarypaintedinItalian，Flemish，andotherpictures，atwhosefeethehadsaidhisprayers。Butyoumaybesurehefeltverymuchembarrassedathavingsosoonbecomeahusband，becauseheknewnothingofhisbusiness，andsawthatcertainformshadtobegonethroughconcerningwhichfromgreatandmodestreserve，hehadnotimetoquestionevenhisfather，whohadsaidsharplytohim——
“Youknowwhatyouhavetodo；bevalianttherein。“
Thenhesawthegentlegirlwhowasgivenhim，comfortablytuckedupinthebedclothes，terriblycurious，herheadburiedunder，buthazardingaglanceasatthepointofahalberd，andsayingtoherself——
“Imustobeyhim。“
Andknowingnothing，sheawaitedthewillofthisslightlyecclesiasticalgentleman，towhom，infact，shebelonged。Seeingwhich，theChevalierdeMontcontourcameclosetothebed，scratchedhisear，andkneltdown，athinginwhichhewasexpert。
“Haveyousaidyourprayers？”saidhe。
“No，“saidshe；“Ihaveforgottenthem。Dowishmetosaythem？”
ThentheyoungcouplecommencedthebusinessofahousekeepingbyimploringGod，whichwasnotatalloutofplace。Butunfortunatelythedevilheard，andatoncerepliedtotheirrequests，Godbeingmuchoccupiedatthattimewiththenewandabominablereformedreligion。
“Whatdidtheytellyoutodo？”saidthehusband。
“Toloveyou，“saidshe，inperfectinnocence。
“Thishasnotbeentoldtome；butIloveyou，Iamashamedtosay，betterthanIloveGod。“
Thisspeechdidnotalarmthebride。
“Ishouldlike，“saidthehusband，“toreposemyselfinyourbed，ifitwillnotdisturbyou。“
“IwillmakeroomforyouwillinglybecauseIamtosubmitmyselftoyou。“
“Well，“saidhe，“don\'tlookatmeagain。I\'mgoingtotakemyclothesoff，andcome。“
Atthisvirtuousspeech，theyoungdamselturnedherselftowardsthewallingreatexpectation，seeingthatitwasfortheveryfirsttimethatshewasabouttofindherselfseparatedfromamanbytheconfinesofashirtonly。Thencametheinnocent，glidingintobed，andthustheyfoundthemselves，sotospeak，united，butfarfromwhatyoucanimaginewhat。Didyoueverseeamonkeybroughtfromacrosstheseas，whoforthefirsttimeisgivenanuttocrack？Thisape，knowingbyhighapishimaginationhowdeliciousisthefoodhiddenundertheshell，sniffsandtwistshimselfaboutinathousandapishways，saying，Iknownotwhat，betweenhischatteringjaws。Ah！withwhataffectionhestudiesit，withwhatstudyheexaminesit，inwhatexaminationheholdsit，thenthrowsit，rollsandtossesitaboutwithpassion，andoften，whenitisanapeoflowextractionandintelligence，leavesthenut。Asmuchdidthepoorinnocentwho，towardsthedawn，wasobligedtoconfesstohisdearwifethat，notknowinghowtoperformhisoffice，orwhatthatofficewas，orwheretoobtainthesaidoffice，itwouldbenecessaryforhimtoinquireconcerningit，andhavehelpandaid。
“Yes，“saidshe；“since，unhappily，Icannotinstructyou。“
Infact，inspiteoftheirefforts，essayofallkinds——inspiteofathousandthingswhichtheinnocentsinvent，andwhichthewiseinmattersofloveknownothingabout——thepairdroppedofftosleep，wretchedathavingbeenunabletodiscoverthesecretofmarriage。Buttheywiselyagreedtosaythattheyhaddoneso。Whenthewifegotup，stillamaiden，seeingthatshehadnotbeencrowned，sheboastedofhernight，andsaidshehadthekingofhusbands，andwentonwithherchatteringandreparteeasbrisklyasthosewhoknownothingofthesethings。Theneveryonefoundthemaidenalittletoosharp，sinceforatwo-edgedjokealadyofRoche-Corbonhavingincitedayoungmaiden，delaBourdaisiere，whoknewnothingofsuchthings，toaskthebride——
“Howmanyloavesdidyourhusbandputintheoven？”
“Twenty-four，“shereplied。
Now，asthebridegroomwasroamingsadlyabout，therebydistressinghiswife，whofollowedhimwithhereyes，hopingtoseehisstateofinnocencecometoanend，theladiesbelievedthatthejoyofthatnighthadcosthimdear，andthatthesaidbridewasalreadyregrettinghavingsoquicklyruinedhim。Andatbreakfastcamethebadjokes，whichatthattimewererelishedasexcellent，onesaidthatthebridehadanopenexpression；another，thattherehadbeensomegoodstrokesofbusinessdonethatnightinthecastle；thisone，thattheovenhadbeenburned；thatonethatthetwofamilieshavelostsomethingthatnightthattheywouldneverfindagain。Andathousandotherjokes，stupidities，anddoublemeaningsthat，unfortunatelythehusbanddidnotunderstand。Butonaccountofthegreataffluenceoftherelations，neighbours，andothers，noonehadbeentobed；allhaddanced，rollicked，andfrolicked，asisthecustomatnobleweddings。
AtthiswasquitecontentedmysaidSieurdeBraguelongne，uponwhommyladyofAmboise，excitedbythethoughtofthegoodthingswhichwerehappeningtoherdaughter，casttheglancesofafalconinmattersofgallantassignation。ThepoorLieutenantcivil，learnedinbailiffs\'menandsergeants，andwhonabbedallthepickpocketsandscampsofParis，pretendednottoseehisgoodfortune，althoughhisgoodladyrequiredhimtodo。Youmaybesurethisgreatlady\'sloveweighedheavilyuponhim，soheonlykepttoherfromaspiritofjustice，becauseitwasnotseeminginalieutenantjudiciarytochangehismistressesasoftenasamanatcourt，becausehehadunderhischargemorals，thepoliceandreligion。Thisnotwithstandinghisrebellionmustcometoanend。Onthedayaftertheweddingagreatnumberoftheguestsdeparted；thenMadamed\'AmboiseandMonsieurdeBraguelongnecouldgotobed，theirguestshavingdecamped。Sittingdowntosupper，thelieutenantreceivedahalf-verbalsummonstowhichitwasnotbecoming，asinlegalmatters，toopposeanyreasonsfordelay。
Duringsupperthesaidladyd\'AmboisemademorethanahundredlittlesignsinordertodrawthegoodBraguelongnefromtheroomwherehewaswiththebride，butoutcameinsteadofthelieutenantthehusband，towalkaboutincompanywiththemotherofhissweetwife。
Now，inthemindofthisinnocenttherehadsprunguplikeamushroomanexpedient——namely，tointerrogatethisgoodlady，whomheconsidereddiscreet，forrememberingthereligiouspreceptsofhisabbot，whohadtoldhimtoinquireconcerningallthingsofoldpeopleexpertinthewaysoflife，hethoughtofconfidinghiscasetothesaidladyd\'Amboise。Buthemadefirstawkwardlyandshylycertaintwistsandturns，findingnotermsinwhichtounfoldhiscase。Andtheladywasalsoperfectlysilent，sinceshewasoutrageouslystruckwiththeblindness，deafnessandvoluntaryparalysisofthelordofBraguelongne；andsaidtoherself，walkingbythesideofthisdelicatemorsel，ayounginnocentofwhomshedidnotthink，littleimaginingthatthiscatsowellprovidedwithyoungbaconcouldthinkofold——
“ThisHo，Ho，withabeardofflies\'legs，aflimsy，old，grey，ruined，shaggybeard——beardwithoutcomprehension，beardwithoutshame，withoutanyfemininerespect——beardwhichpretendsneithertofeelnortohear，nortosee，aparedawaybeard，abeatendown，disordered，guttedbeard。MaytheItaliansicknessdelivermefromthisvilejokerwithasquashednose，fierynose，frozennose，nosewithoutreligion，nosedryasalutetable，palenose，nosewithoutasoul，nosewhichisnothingbutashadow；nosewhichseesnot，nosewrinkledliketheleafofavine；nosethatIhate，oldnose，nosefullofmud——deadnose。Wherehadmyeyesbeentoattachmyselftotrufflenose，tothisoldhulkthatnolongerknowshisway？Igivemysharetothedevilofthisjuicelessbeard，ofthisgreybeard，ofthismonkeyface，oftheseoldtatters，ofthisoldragofaman，ofthis——Iknownotwhat；andI\'lltakeayounghusbandwho\'llmarrymeproperly，and……andoften——everyday——andwell——“
Inthiswisetrainofthoughtwasshewhentheinnocentbeganhisanthemtothiswoman，sowarmlyexcited，whoatthefirstparaphrasetookfireinherunderstanding，likeapieceofoldtouchwoodfromthecarbineofasoldier；andfindingitwisetotryherson-in-law，saidtoherself——
“Ah！youngbeard，sweetscented！Ah！prettynewnose——freshbeard——
innocentnose——virginappeared——nosefullofjoyit——beardofspringtime，smallkeyoflove！”
Shekeptontalkingtheroundofthegarden，whichwaslong，andthenarrangedwiththeInnocentthat，nightcome，heshouldsallyforthfromhisroomandgetintohers，wheresheengagedtorenderhimmorelearnedthaneverwashisfather。Andthehusbandwaswellcontent，andthankedMadamed\'Amboise，begginghertosaynothingofthisarrangement。
DuringthistimethegoodoldBraguelongnehadbeengrowlingandsayingtohimself，“Oldha，ha！oldho，ho！Maytheplaguetakethee！
mayacancereatthee！——worthlessoldcurrycomb！oldslipper，toobigforthefoot！oldarquebus！tenyearoldcodfish！oldspiderthatspinsnomore！olddeathwithopeneyes！olddevil\'scradle！vilelanternofanoldtown-criertoo！Oldwretchwhoselookkills！oldmoustacheofanoldtheriacler！oldwretchtomakedeadmenweep！oldorgan-pedal！oldsheathwithahundredknives！oldchurchporch，wornoutbytheknees！oldpoor-boxinwhicheveryonehasdropped。I\'llgiveallmyfuturetobequitofthee！”Ashefinishedthesegentlethoughtstheprettybride，whowasthinkingofheryounghusband\'sgreatsorrowatnotknowingtheparticularsofthatessentialitemofmarriage，andnothavingtheslightestideawhatitwas，thoughttosavehimmuchtribulation，shame，andlabourbyinstructingherself。
Andshecounteduponmuchastonishingandrejoicinghimthenextnightwhensheshouldsaytohim，teachinghimhisduty，“That\'sthethingmylove！”Broughtupingreatrespectofoldpeoplebyherdeardowager，shethoughtofinquiringofthisgoodmaninhersweetestmannertodistilforherthesweetmysteriesofthecommerce。Now，thelordofBraguelongne，ashamedofbeinglostinsadcontemplationofthisevening\'swork，andofsayingnothingtohisgaycompanion，putthissummaryinterrogationtothefairbride——“Ifshewasnothappywithsogoodayounghusband——“
“Heisverygood，“saidshe。
“Toogood，perhaps，“saidthelieutenantsmiling。