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  ”Inthemidstofthishurryandconfusion,asifpurposelytoaddtoit,atrumpetwasheardatthegateofthefort,andoneofthesentinelscamerunningtome,sayingthataMahrattasoldierwasbeforethegatewithaflagoftruce!”Iwentdown,rightlyconjecturing,asitturnedout,thattheparty,whoevertheymightbe,hadnoartillery;andreceivedatthepointofmyswordascroll,ofwhichthefollowingisatranslation:——”’TOGOLIAHGAHAGANGUJPUTI。”’LORDOFELEPHANTS,SIR,——IhavethehonortoinformyouthatIarrivedbeforethisplaceateighto’clockP。M。withtenthousandcavalryundermyorders。Ihaveburned,sincemyarrival,seventeenbungalowsinFurruckabadandFuttyghur,andhavelikewisebeenunderthepainfulnecessityofputtingtodeaththreeclergymenmollahs,andsevenEnglishofficers,whomIfoundinthevillage;thewomenhavebeentransferredtosafekeepingintheharemsofmyofficersandmyself。”’AsIknowyourcourageandtalents,Ishallbeveryhappyifyouwillsurrenderthefortress,andtakeserviceasamajor-generalhookahbadarinmyarmy。Shouldmyproposalnotmeetwithyourassent,Ibegleavetostatethatto-morrowIshallstormthefort,andontakingit,shallputtodeatheverymaleinthegarrison,andeveryfemaleabovetwentyyearsofage。ForyourselfIshallreserveapunishment,whichfornoveltyandexquisitetorturehas,Iflattermyself,hardlyeverbeenexceeded。Awaitingthefavorofareply,Iam,Sir,”’Yourveryobedientservant,”’JESWUNTROWHOLKAR。”’CAMPBEFOREFUTTYGHUR,Sept。1,1804。”’R。S。V。P。’”TheofficerwhohadbroughtthispreciousepistleitisastonishinghowHolkarhadapedtheformsofEnglishcorrespondence,anenormousPitansoldier,withashirtofmail,andasteelcapandcape,roundwhichhisturbanwound,wasleaningagainstthegateonhismatchlock,andwhistlinganationalmelody。Ireadtheletter,andsawatoncetherewasnotimetobelost。Thatman,thoughtI,mustnevergobacktoHolkar。Werehetoattackusnowbeforewewereprepared,thefortwouldbehisinhalfanhour。”Tyingmywhitepocket-handkerchieftoastick,Iflungopenthegateandadvancedtotheofficer;hewasstanding,Isaid,onthelittlebridgeacrossthemoat。Imadehimalowsalaam,afterthefashionofthecountry,and,ashebentforwardtoreturnthecompliment,Iamsorrytosay,Iplungedforward,gavehimaviolentblowonthehead,whichdeprivedhimofallsensation,andthendraggedhimwithinthewall,raisingthedrawbridgeafterme。”Iborethebodyintomyownapartment:there,swiftasthought,I

  strippedhimofhisturban,cammerbund,peijammahs,andpapooshes,and,puttingthemonmyself,determinedtogoforthandreconnoitretheenemy。”……

  HereIwasobligedtostop,forCabrera,Rosd’Eroles,andtherestofthestaff,weresoundasleep!WhatIdidinmyreconnaisance,andhowIdefendedthefortofFuttyghur,Ishallhavethehonoroftellingonanotheroccasion。

  CHAPTERIV。

  THEINDIANCAMP——THESORTIEFROMTHEFORT。

  HEAD-QUARTERS,MORELLA,Oct。3,1838。

  Itisabalmynight。Ihearthemerryjingleofthetambourine,andthecheeryvoicesofthegirlsandpeasants,astheydancebeneathmycasement,undertheshadowoftheclusteringvines。Thelaughandsongpassgaylyround,andevenatthisdistanceIcandistinguishtheelegantformofRamonCabrera,ashewhispersgaynothingsintheearsoftheAndalusiangirls,orjoinsinthethrillingchorusofRiego’shymn,whichiseverandanonvociferatedbytheenthusiasticsoldieryofCarlosQuinto。Iamalone,inthemostinaccessibleandmostbomb-prooftowerofourlittlefortalice;

  thelargecasementsareopen——thewind,asitenters,whispersinmyearitsodorousrecollectionsoftheorangegroveandthemyrtlebower。Mytorchabranchofthefragrantcedar-treeflaresandflickersinthemidnightbreeze,anddispersesitsscentandburningsplintersonmyscrollandthedeskwhereIwrite——meetimplementsforasoldier’sauthorship!——itisCARTRIDGEpaperoverwhichmypenrunssoglibly,andayawningbarrelofgunpowderformsmyroughwriting-table。Aroundme,belowme,aboveme,all——allispeace!I

  think,asIsitheresolonely,onmycountry,England!andmuseoverthesweetandbitterrecollectionsofmyearlydays!Letmeresumemynarrative,atthepointwhereinterruptedbytheauthoritativesummonsofwarIpausedonthelastoccasion。

  Ileftoff,Ithink——forIamathousandmilesawayfromproof-

  sheetsasIwrite,and,wereInotwritingthesimpleTRUTH,mustcontradictmyselfathousandtimesinthecourseofmytale——I

  think,Isay,thatIleftoffatthatperiodofmystory,when,HolkarbeingbeforeFuttyghur,andIincommandofthatfortress,I

  hadjustbeencompelledtomakeawaywithhismessenger;and,dressedinthefallenIndian’saccoutrements,wentforthtoreconnoitretheforce,and,ifpossible,tolearntheintentionsoftheenemy。HowevermuchmyfiguremighthaveresembledthatofthePitan,and,disguisedinhisarmor,mighthavedeceivedthelynx-

  eyedMahrattas,intowhosecampIwasabouttoplunge,itwasevidentthatasingleglanceatmyfairfaceandauburnbeardwouldhaveundeceivedthedullestblockheadinHolkar’sarmy。Seizing,then,abottleofBurgess’swalnutcatsup,Idyedmyfaceandmyhands,and,withthesimpleaidofaflaskofWarren’sjet,Imademyhairandbeardasblackasebony。TheIndian’shelmetandchainhoodcoveredlikewiseagreatpartofmyfaceandIhopedthus,withluck,impudence,andacompletecommandofalltheEasterndialectsandlanguages,fromBurmahtoAfghanistan,topassscot-

  freethroughthissomewhatdangerousordeal。

  Ihadnotthewordofthenight,itistrue——butItrustedtogoodfortuneforthat,andpassedboldlyoutofthefortress,bearingtheflagoftruceasbefore;Ihadscarcelypassedonacoupleofhundredyards,whenlo!apartyofIndianhorsemen,armedlikehimIhadjustovercome,trottedtowardsme。Onewasleadinganoblewhitecharger,andnosoonerdidheseemethan,dismountingfromhisownhorse,andgivingthereintoacompanion,headvancedtomeetmewiththecharger;asecondfellowlikewisedismountedandfollowedthefirst;oneheldthebridleofthehorse,whiletheotherwithamultitudeofsalaams,aleikums,andothergenuflexions,heldthejewelledstirrup,andkneeling,waiteduntilIshouldmount。

  Itookthehintatonce:theIndianwhohadcomeuptothefortwasagreatman——thatwasevident;Iwalkedonwithamajesticair,gatheredupthevelvetreins,andsprungintothemagnificenthigh-

  peakedsaddle。”Buk,buk,”saidI。”Itisgood。Inthenameoftheforty-nineImaums,letusrideon。”Andthewholepartysetoffatabrisktrot,Ikeepingsilence,andthinkingwithnolittletrepidationofwhatIwasabouttoencounter。

  Aswerodealong,IheardtwoofthemencommentinguponmyunusualsilenceforIsuppose,I——thatistheIndian——wasatalkativeofficer。”ThelipsoftheBahawderareclosed,”saidone。”WherearethosebirdsofParadise,hislong-tailedwords?theyareimprisonedbetweenthegoldenbarsofhisteeth!””Kush,”saidhiscompanion,”bequiet!BobbachyBahawderhasseenthedreadfulFeringhee,GahaganKhanGujputi,theelephant-lord,whoseswordreapstheharvestofdeath;thereisbutonechampionwhocanwearthepapooshesoftheelephant-slayer——itisBobbachyBahawder!””Youspeaktruly,PuneereeMuckun,theBahawderruminatesonthewordsoftheunbeliever:heisanostrich,andhatchestheeggsofhisthoughts。””Bekhusm!onmynosebeit!Maytheyoungbirds,hisactions,bestrongandswiftinflight。””MaytheyDIGESTIRON!”saidPuneereeMuckun,whowasevidentlyawaginhisway。”O-ho!”thoughtI,assuddenlythelightflasheduponme。”Itwas,then,thefamousBobbachyBahawder,whomIovercamejustnow!andheisthemandestinedtostandinmyslippers,ishe?”andIwasatthatverymomentstandinginhisown!Sucharethechancesandchangesthatfalltothelotofthesoldier!

  Isupposeeverybody——everybodywhohasbeeninIndia,atleast——hasheardthenameofBobbachyBahawder:itisderivedfromthetwoHindustaneewords——bobbachy,general;bahawder,artilleryman。HehadenteredintoHolkar’sserviceinthelattercapacity,andhad,byhismeritandhisundauntedbraveryinaction,attainedthedignityofthepeacock’sfeather,whichisonlygrantedtonoblemenofthefirstclass;hewasmarried,moreover,tooneofHolkar’sinnumerabledaughters:amatchwhich,accordingtotheChroniqueScandaleuse,broughtmoreofhonorthanofpleasuretothepoorBobbachy。Gallantashewasinthefield,itwassaidthatintheharemhewastheveriestcravenalive,completelysubjugatedbyhisuglyandodiouswife。InallmattersofimportancethelateBahawderhadbeenconsultedbyhisprince,whohad,asitappears,knowingmycharacter,andnotcaringtodoanythingrashinhisattackuponsoformidableanenemy,sentforwardtheunfortunatePitantoreconnoitrethefort;hewastohavedoneyetmore,asI

  learnedfromtheattendantPuneereeMuckun,whowas,Isoonfoundout,anoldfavoritewiththeBobbachy——doubtlessonaccountofhishonestyandloveofrepartee。”TheBahawder’slipsareclosed,”saidhe,atlast,trottinguptome;”hashenotawordforoldPuneereeMuckun?””Bismillah,mashallah,barikallah,”saidI;whichmeans,”Mygoodfriend,whatIhaveseenisnotworththetroubleofrelation,andfillsmybosomwiththedarkestforebodings。””YoucouldnotthenseetheGujputialone,andstabhimwithyourdagger?”

  [Herewasaprettyconspiracy!]”No,Isawhim,butnotalone;hispeoplewerealwayswithhim。””Hurrumzadeh!itisapity;wewaitedbutthesoundofyourjogreewhistle,andstraightwaywouldhavegallopedupandseizeduponeveryman,woman,andchildinthefort:however,therearebutadozenmeninthegarrison,andtheyhavenotprovisionfortwodays——theymustyield;andthenhurrahforthemoon-faces!

  Mashallah!Iamtoldthesoldierswhofirstgetinaretohavetheirpick。Howmyoldwoman,RoteeMuckun,willbesurprisedwhenIbringhomeacoupleofFeringheewives,——ha!ha!””Fool!”saidI,”bestill!——twelvemeninthegarrison!therearetwelvehundred!Gahaganhimselfisasgoodasathousandmen;andasforfood,Isawwithmyowneyesfivehundredbullocksgrazinginthecourt-yardasIentered。”ThisWASabouncer,Iconfess;

  butmyobjectwastodeceivePuneereeMuckun,andgivehimashighanotionaspossibleofthecapabilitiesofdefencewhichthebesiegedhad。”Pooch,pooch,”murmuredthemen;”itisawonderofafortress:weshallneverbeabletotakeituntilourgunscomeup。”

  Therewashopethen!theyhadnobattering-train。Erethisarrived,ItrustedthatLordLakewouldhearofourplight,andmarchdowntorescueus。Thusoccupiedinthoughtandconversation,werodeonuntiltheadvancedsentinelchallengedus,whenoldPuneereegavetheword,andwepassedonintothecentreofHolkar’scamp。

  Itwasastrange——astirringsight!Thecamp-fireswerelighted;

  androundthem——eating,reposing,talking,lookingatthemerrystepsofthedancing-girls,orlisteningtothestoriesofsomeDholBautorIndianimprovisatorewerethousandsofduskysoldiery。Thecamelsandhorseswerepicketedunderthebanyan-

  trees,onwhichtheripemangofruitwasgrowing,andofferedthemanexcellentfood。Towardsthespotwhichthegoldenfishandroyalpurdahs,floatinginthewind,designatedasthetentofHolkar,ledanimmenseavenue——ofelephants!thefineststreet,indeed,Ieversaw。Eachofthemonstrousanimalshadacastleonitsback,armedwithMauritanianarchersandthecelebratedPersianmatchlock-men:itwasthefeedingtimeoftheseroyalbrutes,andthegroomswereobservedbringingimmensetoffungs,orbaskets,filledwithpine-apples,plantains,bandannas,Indiancorn,andcocoa-nuts,whichgrowluxuriantlyatallseasonsoftheyear。Wepasseddownthisextraordinaryavenue——nolessthanthreehundredandeighty-eighttailsdidIcountoneachside——eachtailappertainingtoanelephanttwenty-fivefeethigh——eachelephanthavingatwo-storiedcastleonitsback——eachcastlecontainingsleepingandeatingroomsforthetwelvementhatformeditsgarrison,andwerekeepingwatchontheroof——eachroofbearingaflag-stafftwentyfeetlongonitstop,thecrescentglitteringwithathousandgems,androundittheimperialstandard,——eachstandardofsilkvelvetandcloth-of-gold,bearingthewell-knowndeviceofHolkar,argentanorgules,betweenasinopleofthefirst,achevron,truncated,wavy。Itooknineofthesemyselfinthecourseofaveryshorttimeafter,andshallbehappy,whenI

  cometoEngland,toshowthemtoanygentlemanwhohasacuriositythatway。Throughthisgorgeoussceneourlittlecavalcadepassed,andatlastwearrivedatthequartersoccupiedbyHolkar。

  Thatcelebratedchieftain’stentsandfollowersweregatheredroundoneoftheBritishbungalowswhichhadescapedtheflames,andwhichheoccupiedduringthesiege。WhenIenteredthelargeroomwherehesat,Ifoundhiminthemidstofacouncilofwar;hischiefgeneralsandviziersseatedroundhim,eachsmokinghishookah,asisthecommonwaywiththeseblackfellows,before,at,andafterbreakfast,dinner,supper,andbedtime。Therewassuchacloudraisedbytheirsmokeyoucouldhardlyseeayardbeforeyou——

  anotherpieceofgoodluckforme——asitdiminishedthechancesofmydetection。When,withtheordinaryceremonies,thekitmatgarsandconsomahshadexplainedtotheprincethatBobbachyBahawder,therighteyeoftheSunoftheuniverseastheignorantheathenscalledme,hadarrivedfromhismission,Holkarimmediatelysummonedmetothemaidaun,orelevatedplatform,onwhichhewasseatedinaluxuriouseasy-chair,andI,instantlytakingoffmyslippers,fallingonmyknees,andbeatingmyheadagainstthegroundninety-ninetimes,proceeded,stillonmyknees,ahundredandtwentyfeetthroughtheroom,andthenupthetwentystepswhichledtohismaidaun——asilly,painful,anddisgustingceremony,whichcanonlybeconsideredasarelicofbarbariandarkness,whichtearsthekneesandshinstopieces,letalonethepantaloons。IrecommendanybodywhogoestoIndia,withtheprospectofenteringtheserviceofthenativerajahs,torecollectmyadviceandhavethemWELL-WADDED。

  Well,therighteyeoftheSunoftheuniversescrambledaswellashecouldupthestepsofthemaidaunonwhichinrows,smoking,asIhavesaid,themusnudsorgeneralofficerswereseated,andI

  arrivedwithinspeaking-distanceofHolkar,whoinstantlyaskedmethesuccessofmymission。Theimpetuousoldmanthereonpouredoutamultitudeofquestions:”Howmanymenarethereinthefort?”

  saidhe;”howmanywomen?Isitvictualled?Havetheyammunition?

  DidyouseeGahaganSahib,thecommander?didyoukillhim?”

  AllthesequestionsJeswuntRowHolkarpuffedoutwithsomanywhiffsoftobacco。

  Takingachillummyself,andraisingaboutmesuchacloudthat,uponmyhonorasagentleman,nomanatthreeyards’distancecouldperceiveanythingofmeexceptthepillarofsmokeinwhichIwasencompassed,ItoldHolkar,inOrientallanguageofcourse,thebesttaleIcouldwithregardtothefort。”Sir”saidI,”toansweryourlastquestionfirst——thatdreadfulGujputiIhaveseen——andheisalive:heiseightfeet,nearly,inheight;hecaneatabullockdailyofwhichhehassevenhundredatpresentinthecompound,andswearsthatduringthesiegehewillcontenthimselfwithonlythreeaweek:hehaslostinbattlehislefteye;andwhatistheconsequence?ORamGunge”Othou-

  with-the-eye-as-bright-as-morning-and-with-beard-as-black-as-

  night,”GoliahGujputi——NEVERSLEEPS!””Ah,youGhorumsaugyouthiefoftheworld,”saidthePrinceVizier,SaadutAleeBegBimbukchee——”it’sjokingyouare;”——andtherewasauniversalbuzzthroughtheroomattheannouncementofthisbouncer。”BythehundredandelevenincarnationsofVishnu,”saidI,solemnly,anoathwhichnoIndianwaseverknowntobreak,”I

  swearthatsoitis:soatleasthetoldme,andIhavegoodcausetoknowhispower。Gujputiisanenchanter:heisleaguedwithdevils;heisinvulnerable。Look,”saidI,unsheathingmydagger——

  andeveryeyeturnedinstantlytowardsme——”thricedidIstabhimwiththissteel——intheback,once——twicerightthroughtheheart;

  butheonlylaughedmetoscorn,andbademetellHolkarthatthesteelwasnotyetforgedwhichwastoinflictaninjuryuponhim。”

  IneversawamaninsucharageasHolkarwaswhenIgavehimthissomewhatimprudentmessage。”Ah,lily-liveredrogue!”shoutedheouttome,”milk-bloodedunbeliever!pale-facedmiscreant!livesheafterinsultingthymasterinthypresence!Inthenameoftheprophet,Ispitonthee,defythee,abhorthee,degradethee!Takethat,thouliaroftheuniverse!andthat——andthat——andthat!”

  Sucharethefrightfulexcessesofbarbaricminds!everytimethisoldmansaid,”Takethat,”heflungsomearticlenearhimattheheadoftheundauntedGahagan——hisdagger,hissword,hiscarbine,hisrichlyornamentedpistols,histurbancoveredwithjewels,worthahundredthousandcroresofrupees——finally,hishookah,snakemouthpiece,silver-bell,chillumandall——whichwenthissingovermyhead,andflatteningintoajellythenoseoftheGrandVizier。”Yockmuzzee!mynoseisoff;”saidtheoldman,mildly。Willyouhavemylife,OHolkar?itisthinelikewise!”andnootherwordofcomplaintescapedhislips。

  Ofallthesemissiles,thoughapistolandcarbinehadgoneoffastheferociousIndianflungthematmyhead,andthenakedscimitarfiercelybutunadroitlythrown,hadloppedoffthelimbsofoneortwoofthemusnudsastheysattremblingontheiromrahs,yet,strangetosay,notasingleweaponhadhurtme。Whenthehubbubceased,andtheunluckywretcheswhohadbeenthevictimsofthisfitofragehadbeenremoved,Holkar’sgoodhumorsomewhatreturned,andheallowedmetocontinuemyaccountofthefort;

  whichIdid,nottakingtheslightestnoticeofhisburstofimpatience:asindeeditwouldhavebeentheheightofimpolitenesstohavedoneforsuchaccidentshappenedmanytimesintheday。”ItiswellthattheBobbachyhasreturned,”snuffledoutthepoorGrandVizier,afterIhadexplainedtotheCounciltheextraordinarymeansofdefencepossessedbythegarrison。”Yourstarisbright,OBahawder!forthisverynightwehadresolveduponanescaladeofthefort,andwehadsworntoputeveryoneoftheinfidelgarrisontotheedgeofthesword。””Butyouhavenobatteringtrain,”saidI。”Bah!wehaveacoupleofninety-sixpounders,quitesufficienttoblowthegatesopen;andthen,heyforacharge!”saidLollMahommed,ageneralofcavalry,whowasarivalofBobbachy’s,andcontradicted,therefore,everywordIsaid。”InthenameofJuggernaut,whywaitfortheheavyartillery?Havewenotswords?

  Havewenothearts?Mashallah!LetcravensstaywithBobbachy,alltruemenwillfollowLollMahommed!Allahhumdillah,Bismillah,Barikallah?”*anddrawinghisscimitar,hewaveditoverhishead,andshoutedouthiscryofbattle。Itwasrepeatedbymanyoftheotheromrahs;thesoundoftheircheerswascarriedintothecamp,andcaughtupbythemen;thecamelsbegantocry,thehorsestopranceandneigh,theeighthundredelephantssetupascream,thetrumpetersanddrummersclangedawayattheirinstruments。Ineverheardsuchadinbeforeorafter。HowItrembledformylittlegarrisonwhenIheardtheenthusiasticcriesofthisinnumerablehost!

  *TheMajorhasputthemostapprovedlanguageintothemouthsofhisIndiancharacters。Bismillah,Barikallah,andsoon,accordingtothenovelists,formtheveryessenceofEasternconversation。

  Therewasbutonewayforit。”Sir,”saidI,addressingHolkar,”gooutto-nightandyougotocertaindeath。LollMahommedhasnotseenthefortasIhave。Passthegateifyouplease,andforwhat?tofallbeforethefireofahundredpiecesofartillery;tostormanothergate,andthenanother,andthentobeblownup,withGahagan’sgarrisoninthecitadel。Whotalksofcourage?WereI

  notinyouraugustpresence,Ostarofthefaithful,IwouldcropLollMahommed’snosefromhisface,andwearhisearsasanornamentinmyownpugree!Whoisthereherethatknowsnotthedifferencebetweenyonderyellow-skinnedcowardandGahaganKhanGuj——ImeanBobbachyBahawder?Iamreadytofightone,two,three,ortwentyofthem,atbroad-sword,small-sword,single-

  stick,withfistsifyouplease。Bytheholypiper,fightingislikemateanddthrinktoGa——toBobbachy,Imane——whoop!comeon,youdivvle,andI’llbatetheskinoffyouruglybones。”

  Thisspeechhadverynearlyprovedfataltome,forwhenIamagitated,Iinvoluntarilyadoptsomeofthephraseologypeculiartomyowncountry;whichissoun-eastern,that,hadtherebeenanysuspicionastomyrealcharacter,detectionmustindubitablyhaveensued。Asitwas,Holkarperceivednothing,butinstantaneouslystoppedthedispute。LollMahommed,however,evidentlysuspectedsomething,for,asHolkar,withavoiceofthunder,shoutedout,”Tomashasilence,”Lollsprangforwardandgaspedout——”Mylord!mylordIthisisnotBob——”

  Buthecouldsaynomore。”Gagtheslave!”screamedoutHolkar,stampingwithfury:andaturbanwasinstantlytwistedroundthepoordevil’sjaws。”Ho,furoshes!carryoutLollMahommedKhan,givehimahundreddozenonthesolesofhisfeet,sethimuponawhitedonkey,andcarryhimroundthecamp,withaninscriptionbeforehim:’ThisisthewaythatHolkarrewardsthetalkative。’”

  Ibreathedagain;andeverasIheardeachwhackofthebamboofallingonLollMahommed’sfeet,Ifeltpeacereturningtomymind,andthankedmystarsthatIwasdeliveredofthisdanger。”Vizier,”saidHolkar,whoenjoyedLoll’sroarsamazingly,”Ioweyouareparationforyournose:kissthehandofyourprince,OSaadutAleeBegBimbukchee!befromthisdayforthZoheiruDowlut!”

  Thegoodoldman’seyesfilledwithtears。”Icanbearthyseverity,OPrince,”saidhe;”Icannotbearthylove。WasitnotanhonorthatyourHighnessdidmejustnowwhenyoucondescendedtopassoverthebridgeofyourslave’snose?”

  Thephrasewasbyallvoicespronouncedtobeverypoetical。TheVizierretired,crownedwithhisnewhonors,tobed。Holkarwasinhighgoodhumor。”Bobbachy,”saidhe,thou,too,mustpardonme。Apropos,Ihavenewsforthee。Yourwife,theincomparablePutteeRooge,”whiteandredrose,hasarrivedincamp。””MyWIFE,mylord!”saidI,aghast。”Ourdaughter,thelightofthineeyes!Go,myson;Iseethouartwildwithjoy。ThePrincess’stentsaresetupclosebymine,andIknowthoulongesttojoinher。”

  Mywife?Herewasacomplicationtruly!

  CHAPTERV。

  THEISSUEOFMYINTERVIEWWITHMYWIFE。

  IfoundPuneereeMuckun,withtherestofmyattendants,waitingatthegate,andtheyimmediatelyconductedmetomyowntentsintheneighborhood。Ihavebeeninmanydangerouspredicamentsbeforethattimeandsince,butIdon’tcaretodenythatIfeltinthepresentinstancesuchathrobbingoftheheartasIneverhaveexperiencedwhenleadingaforlornhope,ormarchinguptoabattery。

  AssoonasIenteredthetentsahostofmenialssprangforward,sometoeasemeofmyarmor,sometooffermerefreshments,somewithhookahs,attarofrosesingreatquart-bottles,andthethousanddelicaciesofEasternlife。Imotionedthemaway。”I

  willwearmyarmor,”saidI;Ishallgoforthto-night;carrymydutytotheprincess,andsayIgrievethatto-nightIhavenotthetimetoseeher。Spreadmeacouchhere,andbringmesupperhere:

  ajarofPersianwinewellcooled,alambstuffedwithpistachio-

  nuts,apillawofacoupleofturkeys,acurriedkid——anything。

  Begone!Givemeapipe;leavemealone,andtellmewhenthemealisready。”

  IthoughtbythesemeanstoputoffthefairPutteeRooge,andhopedtobeabletoescapewithoutsubjectingmyselftotheexaminationofhercuriouseyes。Aftersmokingforawhile,anattendantcametotellmethatmysupperwaspreparedintheinnerapartmentofthetentIsupposethatthereader,ifhebepossessedofthecommonestintelligence,knowsthatthetentsoftheIndiangrandeesaremadeofthefinestCashmereshawls,andcontainadozenroomsatleast,withcarpets,chimneys,andsash-

  windowscomplete。Ientered,Isay,intoaninnerchamber,andtherebeganwithmyfingerstodevourmymealintheOrientalfashion,taking,everynowandthen,apullfromthewine-jar,whichwascoolingdeliciouslyinanotherjarofsnow。

  Iwasjustintheactofdespatchingthelastmorselofamostsavorystewedlambandrice,whichhadformedmymeal,whenIheardascuffleoffeet,ashrillclatteroffemalevoices,and,thecurtainbeingflungopen,inmarchedaladyaccompaniedbytwelveslaves,withmoonfacesandslimwaists,lovelyasthehourisinParadise。

  Theladyherself,todoherjustice,wasasgreatacontrasttoherattendantsascouldpossiblybe:shewascrooked,old,ofthecomplexionofmolasses,andrenderedathousandtimesmoreuglybythetawdrydressandtheblazingjewelswithwhichshewascovered。

  Alineofyellowchalkdrawnfromherforeheadtothetipofhernosewhichwasfurtherornamentedbyanimmenseglitteringnose-

  ring,hereyelidspaintedbrightred,andalargedabofthesamecoloronherchin,showedshewasnotoftheMussulman,buttheBrahminfaith——andofaveryhighcaste;youcouldseethatbyhereyes。Mymindwasinstantaneouslymadeupastomylineofaction。

  Themaleattendantshadofcoursequittedtheapartment,astheyheardthewell-knownsoundofhervoice。Itwouldhavebeendeathtothemtohaveremainedandlookedinherface。Thefemalesrangedthemselvesroundtheirmistress,asshesquatteddownoppositetome。”Andisthis,”saidshe,”awelcome,OKhan!aftersixmonths’

  absence,forthemostunfortunateandlovingwifeinalltheworld?

  Isthislamb,Oglutton!halfsotenderasthyspouse?Isthiswine,Osot!halfsosweetasherlooks?”

  Isawthestormwasbrewing——herslaves,towhomsheturned,keptupakindofchorus:——”Oh,thefaithlessone!”criedthey。”Oh,therascal,thefalseone,whohasnoeyeforbeauty,andnoheartforlove,liketheKhanum’s!””Alambisnotsosweetaslove,”saidIgravely:”butalambhasagoodtemper;awine-cupisnotsointoxicatingasawoman——butawine-cuphasNOTONGUE,OKhanumGee!”andagainIdippedmynoseinthesoul-refreshingjar。

  ThesweetPutteeRoogewasnot,however,tobeputoffbymyrepartees;sheandhermaidensrecommencedtheirchorus,andchatteredandstormeduntilIlostallpatience。”Retire,friends,”saidI,”andleavemeinpeace。””Stir,onyourperil!”criedtheKhanum。

  So,seeingtherewasnohelpforitbutviolence,Idrewoutmypistols,cockedthem,andsaid,”Ohouris!thesepistolscontaineachtwoballs:thedaughterofHolkarbearsasacredlifeforme——

  butforyou!——byallthesaintsofHindustan,fourofyeshalldieifyestayamomentlongerinmypresence!Thiswasenough;theladiesgaveashriek,andskurriedoutoftheapartmentlikeacoveyofpartridgesonthewing。

  Now,then,wasthetimeforaction。Mywife,orratherBobbachy’swife,satstill,alittleflurriedbytheunusualferocitywhichherlordhaddisplayedinherpresence。Iseizedherhandand,grippingitclose,whisperedinherear,towhichIputtheotherpistol:——”OKhanum,listenandscreamnot;themomentyouscream,youdie!”Shewascompletelybeaten:sheturnedaspaleasawomancouldinhersituation,andsaid,”Speak,BobbachyBahawder,Iamdumb。””Woman,”saidI,takingoffmyhelmet,andremovingthechaincapewhichhadcoveredalmostthewholeofmyface——IAMNOTTHY

  HUSBAND——Iamtheslaverofelephants,theworldrenownedGAHAGAN!”

  AsIsaidthis,andasthelongringletsofredhairfellovermyshoulderscontrastingstrangelywithmydyedfaceandbeard,I

  formedoneofthefinestpicturesthatcanpossiblybeconceived,andIrecommenditasasubjecttoMr。Heath,forthenext”BookofBeauty。””Wretch!”saidshe,”whatwouldstthou?””Youblack-facedfiend,”saidI,”raisebutyourvoice,andyouaredead!””Andafterwards,”saidshe,”doyousupposethatYOUcanescape?

  ThetormentsofhellarenotsoterribleasthetorturesthatHolkarwillinventforthee。””Tortures,madam?”answeredI,coolly。”Fiddlesticks!Youwillneitherbetrayme,norwillIbeputtothetorture:onthecontrary,youwillgivemeyourbestjewelsandfacilitatemyescapetothefort。Don’tgrindyourteethandswearatme。

  Listen,madam:youknowthisdressandthesearms;——theyarethearmsofyourhusband,BobbachyBahawder——MYPRISONER。Henowliesinyonderfort,andifIdonotreturnbeforedaylight,atSUNRISE

  HEDIES:andthen,whentheysendhiscorpsebacktoHolkar,whatwillyou,HISWIDOW,do?””Oh!”saidshe,shuddering,”spareme,spareme!””I’lltellyouwhatyouwilldo。Youwillhavethepleasureofdyingalongwithhim——ofBEINGROASTED,madam:anagonizingdeath,fromwhichyourfathercannotsaveyou,towhichhewillbethefirstmantocondemnandconductyou。Ha!Iseeweunderstandeachother,andyouwillgivemeoverthecash-boxandjewels。”AndsosayingIthrewmyselfbackwiththecalmestairimaginable,flingingthepistolsovertoher。”Lightmeapipe,mylove,”saidI,”andthengoandhandmeoverthedollars;doyouhear?”YouseeIhadherinmypower——upatree,astheAmericanssay,andsheveryhumblylightedmypipeforme,andthendepartedforthegoodsIspokeabout。

  Whatathingisluck!IfLollMahommedhadnotbeenmadetotakethatrideroundthecamp,Ishouldinfalliblyhavebeenlost。

  Mysupper,myquarrelwiththeprincess,andmypipeafterwards,hadoccupiedacoupleofhoursofmytime。Theprincessreturnedfromherquest,andbroughtwithherthebox,containingvaluablestotheamountofaboutthreemillionssterling。Iwascheatedofthemafterwards,buthavetheboxstill,aplaindealone。Iwasjustabouttotakemydeparture,whenatremendousknocking,shouting,andscreamingwasheardattheentranceofthetent。ItwasHolkarhimself,accompaniedbythatcursedLollMahommed,who,afterhispunishment,foundhismasterrestoredtogoodhumor,andhadcommunicatedtohimhisfirmconvictionthatIwasanimpostor。”Ho,Begum,”shoutedhe,intheante-roomforheandhispeoplecouldnotenterthewomen’sapartments,”speak,Omydaughter!isyourhusbandreturned?””Speak,madam,”saidI,”orREMEMBERTHEROASTING。””Heis,papa,”saidtheBegum。”Areyousure?Ho!ho!ho!”theoldruffianwaslaughingoutside——”areyousureitis?——Ha!aha!——HE-E-E!””Indeeditishe,andnoother。Iprayyou,father,togo,andtopassnomoresuchshamelessjestsonyourdaughter。HaveIeverseenthefaceofanyotherman?”Andhereatshebegantoweepasifherheartwouldbreak——thedeceitfulminx!

  Holkar’slaughwasinstantlyturnedtofury。”Oh,youliarandeternalthief!”saidhe,turningroundasIpresume,forIcouldonlyheartoLollMahommed,”tomakeyourprinceeatsuchmonstrousdirtasthis!Furoshes,seizethisman。Idismisshimfrommyservice,Idegradehimfromhisrank,Iappropriatetomyselfallhisproperty:andharkye,furoshes,GIVEHIMAHUNDRED

  DOZENMORE!”

  AgainIheardthewhacksofthebamboos,andpeaceflowedintomysoul……

  Justasmornbegantobreak,twofigureswereseentoapproachthelittlefortressofFuttyghur:onewasawomanwrappedcloselyinaveil,theotherawarrior,remarkableforthesizeandmanlybeautyofhisform,whocarriedinhishandadealboxofconsiderablesize。Thewarrioratthegategavethewordandwasadmitted,thewomanreturnedslowlytotheIndiancamp。HernamewasPutteeRooge;hiswas——

  G。O’G。G。,M。H。E。I。C。S。,C。I。H。A。

  CHAPTERVI。

  FAMINEINTHEGARRISON。

  Thusmydangersforthenightbeingovercome,Ihastenedwithmypreciousboxintomyownapartment,whichcommunicatedwithanother,whereIhadleftmyprisoner,withaguardtoreportifheshouldrecover,andtopreventhisescape。Myservant,Ghorumsaug,wasoneoftheguard。Icalledhim,andthefellowcame,lookingverymuchconfusedandfrightened,asitseemed,atmyappearance。”Why,Ghorumsaug,”saidI,”whatmakestheelooksopale,fellow?”

  hewasaswhiteasasheet。”Itisthymaster,dostthounotrememberhim?”ThemanhadseenmedressmyselfinthePitan’sclothes,butwasnotpresentwhenIhadblackedmyfaceandbeardinthemannerIhavedescribed。”OBramah,Vishnu,andMahomet!”criedthefaithfulfellow,”anddoIseemydearmasterdisguisedinthisway?Forheaven’ssakeletmeridyouofthisodiousblackpaint;forwhatwilltheladiessayintheball-room,ifthebeautifulFeringheeshouldappearamongstthemwithhisrosesturnedintocoal?”

  IamstilloneofthefinestmeninEurope,andatthetimeofwhichIwrite,whenonlytwo-and-twenty,IconfessIWASalittlevainofmypersonalappearance,andnotverywillingtoappearbeforemydearBelindadisguisedlikeablackamoor。IallowedGhorumsaugtodivestmeoftheheathenisharmorandhabilimentswhichIwore;andhaving,withaworldofscrubbingandtrouble,divestedmyfaceandbeardoftheirblacktinge,Iputonmyownbecominguniform,andhastenedtowaitontheladies;hastened,I

  say,——althoughdelayedwouldhavebeenthebetterword,fortheoperationofbleachinglastedatleasttwohours。”Howistheprisoner,Ghorumsaug?”saidI,beforeleavingmyapartment。”HehasrecoveredfromtheblowwhichtheLiondealthim;twomenandmyselfwatchoverhim;andMacgillicuddySahibthesecondincommandhasjustbeentherounds,andhasseenthatallwassecure。”

  IbadeGhorumsaughelpmetoputawaymychestoftreasuremyexultationintakingitwassogreatthatIcouldnothelpinforminghimofitscontents;andthisdone,Idespatchedhimtohispostneartheprisoner,whileIpreparedtosallyforthandpaymyrespectstothefaircreaturesundermyprotection。”WhatgoodafterallhaveIdone,”thoughtItomyself,”inthisexpeditionwhichIhadsorashlyundertaken?”IhadseentherenownedHolkar,Ihadbeenintheheartofhiscamp;Iknewthedispositionofhistroops,thattherewereeleventhousandofthem,andthatheonlywaitedforhisgunstomakearegularattackonthefort。IhadseenPutteeRooge;IhadrobbedherIsayROBBEDher,andIdon’tcarewhatthereaderoranyothermanmaythinkoftheactofadealbox,containingjewelstotheamountofthreemillionssterling,thepropertyofherselfandhusband。

  Threemillionsinmoneyandjewels!Andwhatthedeuceweremoneyandjewelstomeortomypoorgarrison?CouldmyadorableMissBulchereatafricasseeofdiamonds,or,Cleopatra-like,meltdownpearlstohertea?CouldI,carelessasIamaboutfood,withastomachthatwoulddigestanything——once,inSpain,Iatethelegofahorseduringafamine,andwassoeagertoswallowthismorselthatIboltedtheshoe,aswellasthehoof,andneverfelttheslightestinconveniencefromeither,——couldI,Isay,expecttolivelongandwelluponaragoutofrupees,oradishofstewedemeraldsandrubies?WithallthewealthofCroesusbeforemeI

  feltmelancholy;andwouldhavepaidcheerfullyitsweightincaratsforagoodhonestroundofboiledbeef。Wealth,wealth,whatartthou?Whatisgold?——Softmetal。Whatarediamonds?——

  Shiningtinsel。Thegreatwealth-winners,theonlyfame-achievers,thesoleobjectsworthyofasoldier’sconsideration,arebeefsteaks,gunpowder,andcoldiron。

  Thetwolattermeansofcompetencywepossessed;Ihadinmyownapartmentsasmallstoreofgunpowderkeepingitundermyownbed,withacandleburningforfearofaccidents;Ihad14piecesofartillery4long48’sand4carronades,5howitzers,andalongbrassmortar,forgrape,whichIhadtakenmyselfatthebattleofAssaye,andmusketsfortentimesmyforce。Mygarrison,asI

  havetoldthereaderinapreviousnumber,consistedof40men,twochaplains,andasurgeon;addtothesemyguests,83innumber,ofwhomnineonlyweregentlemenintights,powder,pigtails,andsilkstockings,whohadcomeoutmerelyforadance,andfoundthemselvesinforasiege。Suchwereournumbers:——

  Ladies74

  Troopsandartillerymen40

  Othernon-combatants11

  MAJOR-GEN。O’G。GAHAGAN1000——

  1,125

  Icountmyselfgoodforathousand,forsoIwasregularlyratedinthearmy:withthisgreatbenefittoit,thatIonlyconsumedasmuchasanordinarymortal。Wewerethen,asfarasthevictualswent,126mouths;ascombatantswenumbered1,040gallantmen,with12gunsandafort,againstHolkarandhis12,000。Nosuchalarmingodds,if——

  IF!——ay,therewastherub——IFwehadSHOT,aswellaspowderforourguns;IFwehadnotonlyMENbutMEAT。Oftheformercommoditywehadonlythreeroundsforeachpiece。Ofthelatter,uponmysacredhonor,tofeed126souls,wehadbutTwodrumsticksoffowls,andaboneofham。

  Fourteenbottlesofginger-beer。

  Ofsoda-water,fourditto。

  TwobottlesoffineSpanisholives。

  Raspberrycream——theremainderoftwodishes。

  Sevenmacaroons,lyinginthepuddleofademolishedtrifle。

  HalfadrumofbestTurkeyfigs。

  Somebitsofbrokenbread;twoDutchcheeseswhole;thecrustofanoldStilton;andaboutanounceofalmondsandraisins。

  Threeham-sandwiches,andapotofcurrant-jelly,and197bottlesofbrandy,rum,madeira,palealemyprivatestock;acoupleofhardeggsforasalad,andaflaskofFlorenceoil。

  Thiswastheprovisionforthewholegarrison!Themenaftersupperhadseizedupontherelicsoftherepast,astheywerecarriedofffromthetable;andthesewerethemiserableremnantsI

  foundandcountedonmyreturn,takinggoodcaretolockthedoorofthesupper-room,andtreasurewhatlittlesustenancestillremainedinit。

  WhenIappearedinthesaloon,nowlightedupbythemorningsun,I

  notonlycausedasensationmyself,butfeltoneinmyownbosom,whichwasofthemostpainfuldescription。Oh,myreader!mayyouneverbeholdsuchasightasthatwhichpresenteditself:eighty-

  threemenandwomeninball-dresses;theformerwiththeirlankpowderedlocksstreamingovertheirfaces;thelatterwithfadedflowers,uncurledwigs,smudgedrouge,bleareyes,dragglingfeathers,rumpledsatins——eachmoredesperatelymelancholyandhideousthantheother——each,exceptmybelovedBelindaBulcher,whoseravenringletsneverhavingbeenincurl,couldofcoursenevergoOUTofcurl;whosecheek,paleasthelily,could,asitmaynaturallybesupposed,grownopaler;whoseneckandbeauteousarms,dazzlingasalabaster,needednopearl-powder,andtherefore,asIneednotstate,didnotsufferbecausethepearl-powderhadcomeoff。Joydeftlink-boy!lithislampsineachofhereyesasIentered。AsifIhadbeenhersun,herspring,lo!blushingrosesmantledinhercheek!Seventy-threeladies,asIentered,openedtheirfireuponme,andstunnedmewithcross-questions,regardingmyadventuresinthecamp——SHE,asshesawme,gaveafaintscream,thesweetest,sure,thatevergurgledthroughthethroatofawoman!thenstartedup——thenmadeasifshewouldsitdown——thenmovedbackwards——thentotteredforwards——thentumbledintomy——Psha!whyrecall,whyattempttodescribethatdelicious——

  thatpassionategreetingoftwoyounghearts?WhatwasthesurroundingcrowdtoUS?Whatcaredweforthesneersofthemen,thetittersofthejealouswomen,theshrill”Uponmyword!”oftheelderMissBulcher,andtheloudexpostulationsofBelinda’smamma?

  Thebravegirllovedme,andweptinmyarms。”Goliah!myGoliah!”

  saidshe,”mybrave,mybeautiful,THOUartreturned,andhopecomesbackwiththee。Oh!whocantelltheanguishofmysoul,duringthisdreadful,dreadfulnight!”Othersimilarejaculationsofloveandjoysheuttered;andifIHADperilledlifeinherservice,ifIDIDbelievethathopeofescapetherewasnone,soexquisitewasthemomentofourmeeting,thatIforgotallelseinthisoverwhelmingjoy!……

  [TheMajor’sdescriptionofthismeeting,whichlastedattheverymostnottenseconds,occupiesthirteenpagesofwriting。Wehavebeencompelledtodockofftwelveandahalf;forthewholepassage,thoughhighlycreditabletohisfeelings,mightpossiblybetedioustothereader。]……

  AsIsaid,theladiesandgentlemenwereinclinedtosneer,andweregigglingaudibly。Iledthedeargirltoachair,and,scowlingroundwithatremendousfierceness,whichthosewhoknowmeknowIcansometimesputon,Ishoutedout,”Harkyemenandwomen——Iamthislady’struestknight——herhusbandIhopeonedaytobe。Iamcommander,too,inthisfort——theenemyiswithoutit;

  anotherwordofmockery——anotherglanceofscorn——and,byheaven,I

  willhurleverymanandwomanfromthebattlements,apreytotheruffianlyHolkar!”Thisquietedthem。Iamamanofmyword,andnoneofthemstirredorlookeddisrespectfullyfromthatmoment。

  ItwasnowMYturntomakeTHEMlookfoolish。Mrs。VandegobbleschroywhoseunfailingappetiteisprettywellknowntoeverypersonwhohasbeeninIndiacried,”Well,CaptainGahagan,yourballhasbeensopleasant,andthesupperwasdespatchedsolongago,thatmyselfandtheladieswouldbeverygladofalittlebreakfast。”AndMrs。

  Vangiggledasifshehadmadeaverywittyandreasonablespeech。”Oh!breakfast,breakfastbyallmeans,”saidtherest;”wereallyaredyingforawarmcupoftea。””Isitbohaytayorsouchongtaythatyou’dlike,ladies?”saysI。”Nonsense,yousillyman;anyteayoulike,”saidfatMrs。Van。”Whatdoyousay,then,tosomeprimeGUNPOWDER?”Ofcoursetheysaiditwastheverything。”Anddoyoulikehotrowlsorcowld——muffinsorcrumpets——freshbutterorsalt?Andyou,gentlemen,whatdoyousaytosomeilegantdivvled-kidneysforyourselves,andjustatrifleofgrilledturkeys,andacoupleofhundthrednew-laideggsfortheladies?””Pooh,pooh!beitasyouwill,mydearfellow,”answeredtheyall。”Butstop,”saysI。”Oladies,Oladies:Ogentlemen,gentlemen,thatyoushouldeverhavecometothequartersofGoliahGahagan,andhebeenwithout——””What?”saidthey,inabreath。”AlasIalas!Ihavenotgotasinglestickofchocolateinthewholehouse。””Well,well,wecandowithoutit。””Orasinglepoundofcoffee。””Nevermind;letthatpasstoo。”Mrs。Vanandtherestwerebeginningtolookalarmed。”Andaboutthekidneys——nowIremember,theblackdivvlesoutsidetheforthaveseizeduponallthesheep;andhowarewetohavekidneyswithoutthem?”Heretherewasaslighto——o——o!”Andwithregardtothemilkandcrame,itmayberemarkedthatthecowsarelikewiseinpawn,andnotasingledropcanbehadformoneyorlove:butwecanbeatupeggs,youknow,inthetay,whichwillbejustasgood。””Oh!justasgood。””Onlythedivvle’sintheluck,there’snotafresheggtobehad——

  no,norafreshchicken,”continuedI,”norastaleoneeither;noratayspoonfulofsouchong,norathimblefulofbohay;northelastetasteinlifeofbutther,saltorfresh;norhotrowlsorcowld!””Inthenameofheaven!”saidMrs。Van,growingverypale,”whatisthere,then?””Ladiesandgentlemen,I’lltellyouwhatthereisnow,”shoutedI。”There’s”Twodrumsticksoffowls,andaboneofham。

  Fourteenbottlesofginger-beer,”&c。&c。&c。

  AndIwentthroughthewholelistofeatablesasbefore,endingwiththeham-sandwichesandthepotofjelly。”Law!Mr。Gahagan,”saidMrs。ColonelVandegobbleschroy,”givemetheham-sandwiches——Imustmanagetobreakfastoffthem。”

  Andyoushouldhaveheardtheprettyto-dotherewasatthismodestproposition!OfcourseIdidnotaccedetoit——whyshouldI?I

  wasthecommanderofthefort,andintendedtokeepthesethreeverysandwichesfortheuseofmyselfandmydearBelinda。”Ladies,”saidI,”thereareinthisfortonehundredandtwenty-

  sixsouls,andthisisallthefoodwhichistolastusduringthesiege。Meatthereisnone——ofdrinkthereisatolerablequantity;

  andatoneo’clockpunctually,aglassofwineandoneoliveshallbeservedouttoeachwoman:themenwillreceivetwoglasses,andanoliveandafig——andthismustbeyourfoodduringthesiege。

  LordLakecannotbeabsentmorethanthreedays;andifhebe——why,stillthereisachance——whydoIsayachance?——aCERTAINTYofescapingfromthehandsoftheseruffians。””Oh,nameit,nameit,dearCaptainGahagan!”screechedthewholecoveyatabreath。”Itlies,”answeredI,”inthePOWDERMAGAZINE。Iwillblowthisfort,andallitcontains,toatoms,ereitbecomesthepreyofHolkar。”

  Thewomen,atthis,raisedasquealthatmighthavebeenheardinHolkar’scamp,andfaintedindifferentdirections;butmydearBelindawhisperedinmyear,”Welldone,thounobleknight!bravelysaid,myheart’sGoliah!”IfeltIwasright:Icouldhaveblownheruptwentytimesfortheluxuryofthatsinglemoment!”Andnow,ladies,”saidI,”Imustleaveyou。Thetwochaplainswillremainwithyoutoadministerprofessionalconsolation——theothergentlemenwillfollowmeupstairstotheramparts,whereIshallfindplentyofworkforthem。”

  CHAPTERVII。

  THEESCAPE。

  Lothastheywere,thesegentlemenhadnothingforitbuttoobey,andtheyaccordinglyfollowedmetotheramparts,whereIproceededtoreviewmymen。Thefort,inmyabsence,hadbeenleftincommandofLieutenantMacgillicuddy,acountrymanofmyownwithwhom,asmaybeseeninanearlychapterofmymemoirs,Ihadanaffairofhonor;andtheprisonerBobbachyBahawder,whomIhadonlystunned,neverwishingtokillhim,hadbeenleftinchargeofthatofficer。ThreeofthegarrisononeofthemamanoftheAhmednuggarIrregulars,myownbody-servant,Ghorumsaugabovenamed,wereappointedtowatchthecaptivebyturns,andneverleavehimoutoftheirsight。Thelieutenantwasinstructedtolooktothemandtotheirprisoner,andasBobbachywasseverelyinjuredbytheblowwhichIhadgivenhim,andwas,moreover,boundhandandfoot,andgaggedsmartlywithcords,Iconsideredmyselfsureofhisperson。

  MacgillicuddydidnotmakehisappearancewhenIreviewedmylittleforce,andthethreehavildarswerelikewiseabsent:thisdidnotsurpriseme,asIhadtoldthemnottoleavetheirprisoner;butdesiroustospeakwiththelieutenant,Idespatchedamessengertohim,andorderedhimtoappearimmediately。

  Themessengercameback;hewaslookingghastlypale:hewhisperedsomeinformationintomyear,whichinstantlycausedmetohastentotheapartmentswhereIhadcausedBobbachyBahawdertobeconfined。

  Themenhadfled;——Bobbachyhadfled;andinhisplace,fancymyastonishmentwhenIfound——witharopecuttinghisnaturallywidemouthalmostintohisears——withadreadfulsabre-cutacrosshisforehead——withhislegstiedoverhishead,andhisarmstiedbetweenhislegs——myunhappy,myattachedfriend——MortimerMacgillicuddy!

  Hehadbeeninthispositionforaboutthreehours——itwastheverypositioninwhichIhadcausedBobbachyBahawdertobeplaced——anattitudeuncomfortable,itistrue,butonewhichrendersescapeimpossible,unlesstreasonaidtheprisoner。

  Irestoredthelieutenanttohisnaturalerectposition:Ipouredhalfabottleofwhiskeydowntheimmenselyenlargedorificeofhismouth,andwhenhehadbeenreleased,heinformedmeofthecircumstancesthathadtakenplace。

  FoolthatIwas!idiot!——uponmyreturntothefort,tohavebeenanxiousaboutmypersonalappearance,andtohavespentacoupleofhoursinremovingtheartificialblackeningfrommybeardandcomplexion,insteadofgoingtoexaminemyprisoner——whenhisescapewouldhavebeenprevented。Ofoppery,foppery!——itwasthatcursedloveofpersonalappearancewhichhadledmetoforgetmydutytomygeneral,mycountry,mymonarch,andmyownhonor!

  Thusitwasthattheescapetookplace:——MyownfellowoftheIrregulars,whomIhadsummonedtodressme,performedtheoperationtomysatisfaction,investedmewiththeelegantuniformofmycorps,andremovedthePitan’sdisguise,whichIhadtakenfromthebackoftheprostrateBobbachyBahawder。Whatdidtheroguedonext?——Why,hecarriedbackthedresstotheBobbachy——heputit,oncemore,onitsrightowner;heandhisinfernalblackcompanionswhohadbeenwonoverbytheBobbachywithpromisesofenormousreward,gaggedMacgillicuddy,whowasgoingtherounds,andthenmarchedwiththeIndiancoollyuptotheoutergate,andgavetheword。Thesentinel,thinkingitwasmyself,whohadfirstcomein,andwasaslikelytogooutagain,——indeedmyrascallyvaletsaidthatGahaganSahibwasabouttogooutwithhimandhistwocompanionstoreconnoitre,——openedthegates,andofftheywent!

  ThisaccountedfortheconfusionofmyvaletwhenIentered!——andforthescoundrel’sspeech,thatthelieutenanthadJUSTBEENTHE

  ROUNDS;——heHAD,poorfellow,andhadbeenseizedandboundinthiscruelway。Thethreemen,withtheirliberatedprisoner,hadjustbeenonthepointofescape,whenmyarrivaldisconcertedthem:I

  hadchangedtheguardatthegatewhomtheyhadwonoverlikewise;andyet,althoughtheyhadovercomepoorMac,andalthoughtheywerereadyforthestart,theyhadpositivelynomeansforeffectingtheirescape,untilIwasassenoughtoputmeansintheirway。Fool!fool!thricebesottedfoolthatIwas,tothinkofmyownsillypersonwhenIshouldhavebeenoccupiedsolelywithmypublicduty。

  FromMacgillicuddy’sincoherentaccounts,ashewasgaspingfromtheeffectsofthegagandthewhiskeyhehadtakentorevivehim,andfrommyownsubsequentobservations,Ilearnedthissadstory。

  Asuddenandpainfulthoughtstruckme——mypreciousbox!——Irushedback,Ifoundthatbox——Ihaveitstill。Openingit,there,whereIhadleftingots,sacksofbrighttomauns,kopeksandrupees,stringsofdiamondsasbigasducks’eggs,rubiesasredasthelipsofmyBelinda,countlessstringsofpearls,amethysts,emeralds,pilesuponpilesofbank-notes——Ifound——apieceofpaper!withafewlinesintheSanscritlanguage,whicharethus,wordforword,translated:”EPIGRAM。”OndisappointingacertainMajor。”TheconqueringLionreturn’dwithhisprey,Andsafeinhiscavernhesetit,Theslylittlefoxstolethebootyaway;

  And,asheescaped,totheliondidsay,’AHA!don’tyouwishyoumaygetit?’”

  Confusion!Oh,howmybloodboiledasIreadthesecuttinglines。

  Istamped,——Iswore,——Idon’tknowtowhatinsanelengthsmyragemighthavecarriedme,hadnotatthismomentasoldierrushedin,screaming,”Theenemy,theenemy!”

  CHAPTERVIII。

  THECAPTIVE。

  Itwashightime,indeed,thatIshouldmakemyappearance。Wavingmyswordwithonehand,andseizingmytelescopewiththeother,I

  atoncefrightenedandexaminedtheenemy。Welltheyknewwhentheysawthatflamingo-plumefloatinginthebreeze——thatawfulfigurestandinginthebreach——thatwavingwar-swordsparklinginthesky——well,Isay,theyknewthenameofthehumbleindividualwhoownedthesword,theplume,andthefigure。Theruffiansweremusteredinfront,thecavalrybehind。Theflagswereflying,thedrums,gongs,tambourines,violoncellos,andotherinstrumentsofEasternmusic,raisedintheairastrange,barbaricmelody;theofficersyatabals,mountedonwhitedromedaries,wereseengallopingtoandfro,carryingtotheadvancinghoststheordersofHolkar。

  YouseethattwosidesofthefortofFuttyghurrisingasitdoesonarockthatisalmostperpendiculararedefendedbytheBurrumpooterriver,twohundredfeetdeepatthispoint,andathousandyardswide,sothatIhadnofearaboutthemattackingmeinTHATquarter。Myguns,thereforewiththeirsix-and-thirtymiserablechargesofshotweredraggedroundtothepointatwhichIconceivedHolkarwouldbemostlikelytoattackme。IwasinasituationthatIdidnotdaretofire,exceptatsuchtimesasI

  couldkillahundredmenbyasingledischargeofacannon;sotheattackingpartymarchedandmarched,verystrongly,aboutamileandahalfoff,theelephantsmarchingwithoutreceivingtheslightestdamagefromus,untiltheyhadcometowithinfourhundredyardsofourwallstheroguesknewallthesecretsofourweakness,throughthebetrayalofthedastardlyGhorumsaug,ortheyneverwouldhaveventuredsonear。Atthatdistance——itwasaboutthespotwheretheFuttyghurhillbegangraduallytorise——theinvadingforcestopped;theelephantsdrewupinaline,atrightangleswithourwallthefools!theythoughttheyshouldexposethemselvestoomuchbytakingapositionparalleltoit;thecavalryhaltedtoo,and——afterthedeuce’sownflourishoftrumpetsandbangingofgongs,tobesure,——somebody,inaflame-coloredsatin-dress,withanimmensejewelblazinginhispugreethatlookedthroughmytelescopelikeasmallbutverybrightplanet,gotupfromthebackofoneoftheverybiggestelephants,andbeganaspeech。

  Theelephantswere,asIsaid,inalineformedwithadmirableprecision,aboutthreehundredofthem。Thefollowinglittlediagramwillexplainmatters:——

  Eisthelineofelephants。Fisthewallofthefort。Gaguninthefort。NOWthereaderwillseewhatIdid。

  Theelephantswerestanding,theirtrunkswagglingtoandfrogracefullybeforethem;andI,withsuperhumanskillandactivity,broughtthegunGadevilishlongbrassguntobearuponthem。I

  pointeditmyself;bang!itwent,andwhatwastheconsequence?

  Why,this:

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