CHAPTERXLVII。
Somebodyhassaidthatinordertoknowacommunity，onemustobservethestyleofitsfuneralsandknowwhatmannerofmentheyburywithmostceremony。Icannotsaywhichclassweburiedwithmosteclatinour“flushtimes，“thedistinguishedpublicbenefactororthedistinguishedrough——possiblythetwochiefgradesorgranddivisionsofsocietyhonoredtheirillustriousdeadaboutequally；andhence，nodoubtthephilosopherIhavequotedfromwouldhaveneededtoseetworepresentativefuneralsinVirginiabeforeforminghisestimateofthepeople。
TherewasagrandtimeoverBuckFanshawwhenhedied。Hewasarepresentativecitizen。Hehad“killedhisman“——notinhisownquarrel，itistrue，butindefenceofastrangerunfairlybesetbynumbers。
Hehadkeptasumptuoussaloon。Hehadbeentheproprietorofadashinghelpmeetwhomhecouldhavediscardedwithouttheformalityofadivorce。
HehadheldahighpositioninthefiredepartmentandbeenaveryWarwickinpolitics。Whenhediedtherewasgreatlamentationthroughoutthetown，butespeciallyinthevastbottom-stratumofsociety。
OntheinquestitwasshownthatBuckFanshaw，inthedeliriumofawastingtyphoidfever，hadtakenarsenic，shothimselfthroughthebody，cuthisthroat，andjumpedoutofafour-storywindowandbrokenhisneck——andafterduedeliberation，thejury，sadandtearful，butwithintelligenceunblindedbyitssorrow，broughtinaverdictofdeath“bythevisitationofGod。”Whatcouldtheworlddowithoutjuries?
Prodigiouspreparationsweremadeforthefuneral。Allthevehiclesintownwerehired，allthesaloonsputinmourning，allthemunicipalandfire-companyflagshungathalf-mast，andallthefiremenorderedtomusterinuniformandbringtheirmachinesdulydrapedinblack。Now——
letusremarkinparenthesis——asallthepeoplesoftheearthhadrepresentativeadventurersintheSilverland，andaseachadventurerhadbroughttheslangofhisnationorhislocalitywithhim，thecombinationmadetheslangofNevadatherichestandthemostinfinitelyvariedandcopiousthathadeverexistedanywhereintheworld，perhaps，exceptintheminesofCaliforniainthe“earlydays。”SlangwasthelanguageofNevada。Itwashardtopreachasermonwithoutit，andbeunderstood。
Suchphrasesas“Youbet！““Oh，no，Ireckonnot！““NoIrishneedapply，“andahundredothers，becamesocommonastofallfromthelipsofaspeakerunconsciously——andveryoftenwhentheydidnottouchthesubjectunderdiscussionandconsequentlyfailedtomeananything。
AfterBuckFanshaw\'sinquest，ameetingoftheshort-hairedbrotherhoodwasheld，fornothingcanbedoneonthePacificcoastwithoutapublicmeetingandanexpressionofsentiment。Regretfulresolutionswerepassedandvariouscommitteesappointed；amongothers，acommitteeofonewasdeputedtocallontheminister，afragile，gentle，spiritualnewfledglingfromanEasterntheologicalseminary，andasyetunacquaintedwiththewaysofthemines。Thecommitteeman，“Scotty“Briggs，madehisvisit；andinafterdaysitwasworthsomethingtoheartheministertellaboutit。Scottywasastalwartrough，whosecustomarysuit，whenonweightyofficialbusiness，likecommitteework，wasafirehelmet，flamingredflannelshirt，patentleatherbeltwithspannerandrevolverattached，coathungoverarm，andpantsstuffedintoboottops。
Heformedsomethingofacontrasttothepaletheologicalstudent。ItisfairtosayofScotty，however，inpassing，thathehadawarmheart，andastrongloveforhisfriends，andneverenteredintoaquarrelwhenhecouldreasonablykeepoutofit。Indeed，itwascommonlysaidthatwheneveroneofScotty\'sfightswasinvestigated，italwaysturnedoutthatithadoriginallybeennoaffairofhis，butthatoutofnativegood-heartednesshehaddroppedinofhisownaccordtohelpthemanwhowasgettingtheworstofit。HeandBuckFanshawwerebosomfriends，foryears，andhadoftentakenadventurous“pot-luck“together。Ononeoccasion，theyhadthrownofftheircoatsandtakentheweakersideinafightamongstrangers，andaftergainingahard-earnedvictory，turnedandfoundthatthementheywerehelpinghaddesertedearly，andnotonlythat，buthadstolentheircoatsandmadeoffwiththem！ButtoreturntoScotty\'svisittotheminister。Hewasonasorrowfulmission，now，andhisfacewasthepictureofwoe。Beingadmittedtothepresencehesatdownbeforetheclergyman，placedhisfire-hatonanunfinishedmanuscriptsermonundertheminister\'snose，tookfromitaredsilkhandkerchief，wipedhisbrowandheavedasighofdismalimpressiveness，explanatoryofhisbusiness。
Hechoked，andevenshedtears；butwithanefforthemasteredhisvoiceandsaidinlugubrioustones:
“Areyoutheduckthatrunsthegospel-millnextdoor?“
“AmIthe——pardonme，IbelieveIdonotunderstand?“
Withanothersighandahalf-sob，Scottyrejoined:
“Whyyouseeweareinabitoftrouble，andtheboysthoughtmaybeyouwouldgiveusalift，ifwe\'dtackleyou——thatis，ifI\'vegottherightsofitandyouaretheheadclerkofthedoxology-worksnextdoor。”
“Iamtheshepherdinchargeoftheflockwhosefoldisnextdoor。”
“Thewhich?“
“Thespiritualadviserofthelittlecompanyofbelieverswhosesanctuaryadjoinsthesepremises。”
Scottyscratchedhishead，reflectedamoment，andthensaid:
“Yourutherholdoverme，pard。IreckonIcan\'tcallthathand。Anteandpassthebuck。”
“How?Ibegpardon。WhatdidIunderstandyoutosay?“
“Well，you\'veruthergotthebulgeonme。Ormaybewe\'vebothgotthebulge，somehow。Youdon\'tsmokemeandIdon\'tsmokeyou。Yousee，oneoftheboyshaspassedinhischecksandwewanttogivehimagoodsend-
off，andsothethingI\'monnowistoroustoutsomebodytojerkalittlechin-musicforusandwaltzhimthroughhandsome。”
“Myfriend，Iseemtogrowmoreandmorebewildered。Yourobservationsarewhollyincomprehensibletome。Cannotyousimplifytheminsomeway?
AtfirstIthoughtperhapsIunderstoodyou，butIgropenow。Woulditnotexpeditemattersifyourestrictedyourselftocategoricalstatementsoffactunencumberedwithobstructingaccumulationsofmetaphorandallegory?“
Anotherpause，andmorereflection。Then，saidScotty:
“I\'llhavetopass，Ijudge。”
“How?“
“You\'veraisedmeout，pard。”
“Istillfailtocatchyourmeaning。”
“Why，thatlastleadofyournistoomanyforme——that\'stheidea。I
can\'tneither-trumpnorfollowsuit。”
Theclergymansankbackinhischairperplexed。Scottyleanedhisheadonhishandandgavehimselfuptothought。
Presentlyhisfacecameup，sorrowfulbutconfident。
“I\'vegotitnow，so\'syoucansavvy，“hesaid。“Whatwewantisagospel-sharp。See?“
“Awhat?“
“Gospel-sharp。Parson。”
“Oh！Whydidyounotsaysobefore?Iamaclergyman——aparson。”
“Nowyoutalk！Youseemyblindandstraddleitlikeaman。Putitthere！“——extendingabrawnypaw，whichclosedovertheminister\'ssmallhandandgaveitashakeindicativeoffraternalsympathyandferventgratification。
“Nowwe\'reallright，pard。Let\'sstartfresh。Don\'tyoumindmysnufflingalittle——becuzwe\'reinapoweroftrouble。Yousee，oneoftheboyshasgoneuptheflume——“
“Gonewhere?“
“Uptheflume——throwedupthesponge，youunderstand。”
“Thrownupthesponge?“
“Yes——kickedthebucket——“
“Ah——hasdepartedtothatmysteriouscountryfromwhosebournenotravelerreturns。”
“Return！Ireckonnot。Whypard，he\'sdead！“
“Yes，Iunderstand。”
“Oh，youdo?WellIthoughtmaybeyoumightbegettingtangledsomemore。Yes，youseehe\'sdeadagain——“
“Again?Why，hasheeverbeendeadbefore?“
“Deadbefore?No！Doyoureckonamanhasgotasmanylivesasacat?
Butyoubetyouhe\'sawfuldeadnow，pooroldboy，andIwishI\'dneverseenthisday。Idon\'twantnobetterfriendthanBuckFanshaw。
Iknowedhimbytheback；andwhenIknowamanandlikehim，Ifreezetohim——youhearme。Takehimallround，pard，thereneverwasabulliermaninthemines。NomaneverknowedBuckFanshawtogobackonafriend。Butit\'sallup，youknow，it\'sallup。Itain\'tnouse。
They\'vescoopedhim。”
“Scoopedhim?“
“Yes——deathhas。Well，well，well，we\'vegottogivehimup。Yesindeed。It\'sakindofahardworld，afterall，ain\'tit?Butpard，hewasarustler！Yououghttoseenhimgetstartedonce。Hewasabullyboywithaglasseye！Justspitinhisfaceandgivehimroomaccordingtohisstrength，anditwasjustbeautifultoseehimpeelandgoin。
Hewastheworstsonofathiefthateverdrawedbreath。Pard，hewasonit！HewasonitbiggerthananInjun！“
“Onit?Onwhat?“
“Ontheshoot。Ontheshoulder。Onthefight，youunderstand。
Hedidn\'tgiveacontinentalforanybody。Begyourpardon，friend，forcomingsonearsayingacuss-word——butyouseeI\'monanawfulstrain，inthispalaver，onaccountofhavingtocrampdownanddraweverythingsomild。Butwe\'vegottogivehimup。Thereain\'tanygettingaroundthat，Idon\'treckon。Nowifwecangetyoutohelpplanthim——“
“Preachthefuneraldiscourse?Assistattheobsequies?“
“Obs\'quiesisgood。Yes。That\'sit——that\'sourlittlegame。Wearegoingtogetthethingupregardless，youknow。Hewasalwaysniftyhimself，andsoyoubetyouhisfuneralain\'tgoingtobenoslouch——
solidsilverdoor-plateonhiscoffin，sixplumesonthehearse，andaniggerontheboxinabiledshirtandaplughat——how\'sthatforhigh?
Andwe\'lltakecareofyou，pard。We\'llfixyouallright。There\'llbeakerridgeforyou；andwhateveryouwant，youjust\'scapeoutandwe\'ll\'tendtoit。We\'vegotashebangfixedupforyoutostandbehind，inNo。1\'shouse，anddon\'tyoubeafraid。Justgoinandtootyourhorn，ifyoudon\'tsellaclam。PutBuckthroughasbullyasyoucan，pard，foranybodythatknowedhimwilltellyouthathewasoneofthewhitestmenthatwaseverinthemines。Youcan\'tdrawittoostrong。Henevercouldstandittoseethingsgoingwrong。He\'sdonemoretomakethistownquietandpeaceablethananymaninit。I\'veseenhimlickfourGreasersinelevenminutes，myself。Ifathingwantedregulating，hewarn\'tamantogobrowsingaroundaftersomebodytodoit，buthewouldpranceinandregulateithimself。Hewarn\'taCatholic。Scasely。Hewasdownon\'em。Hiswordwas，\'NoIrishneedapply！\'Butitdidn\'tmakenodifferenceaboutthatwhenitcamedowntowhataman\'srightswas——andso，whensomeroughsjumpedtheCatholicbone-yardandstartedintostakeouttown-lotsinithewentfor\'em！Andhecleaned\'em，too！Iwasthere，pard，andIseenitmyself。”
“Thatwasverywellindeed——atleasttheimpulsewas——whethertheactwasstrictlydefensibleornot。Haddeceasedanyreligiousconvictions?
Thatistosay，didhefeeladependenceupon，oracknowledgeallegiancetoahigherpower?\'
Morereflection。
“Ireckonyou\'vestumpedmeagain，pard。Couldyousayitoveroncemore，andsayitslow?“
“Well，tosimplifyitsomewhat，washe，orratherhadheeverbeenconnectedwithanyorganizationsequesteredfromsecularconcernsanddevotedtoself-sacrificeintheinterestsofmorality?“
“Alldownbutnine——set\'emupontheotheralley，pard。”
“WhatdidIunderstandyoutosay?“
“Why，you\'remosttoomanyforme，youknow。WhenyougetinwithyourleftIhuntgrasseverytime。Everytimeyoudraw，youfill；butIdon\'tseemtohaveanyluck。Letshaveanewdeal。”
“How?Beginagain?“
“That\'sit。”
“Verywell。Washeagoodman，and——“
“There——Iseethat；don\'tputupanotherchiptillIlookatmyhand。
Agoodman，saysyou?Pard，itain\'tnonameforit。Hewasthebestmanthatever——pard，youwouldhavedotedonthatman。HecouldlamanygalootofhisinchesinAmerica。Itwashimthatputdowntheriotlastelectionbeforeitgotastart；andeverybodysaidhewastheonlymanthatcouldhavedoneit。Hewaltzedinwithaspannerinonehandandatrumpetintheother，andsentfourteenmenhomeonashutterinlessthanthreeminutes。Hehadthatriotallbrokeupandpreventednicebeforeanybodyevergotachancetostrikeablow。Hewasalwaysforpeace，andhewouldhavepeace——hecouldnotstanddisturbances。Pard，hewasagreatlosstothistown。Itwouldpleasetheboysifyoucouldchipinsomethinglikethatanddohimjustice。HereoncewhentheMicksgottothrowingstonesthroughtheMethodis\'Sundayschoolwindows，BuckFanshaw，allofhisownnotion，shutuphissaloonandtookacoupleofsix-shootersandmountedguardovertheSundayschool。Sayshe，\'NoIrishneedapply！\'Andtheydidn\'t。Hewasthebulliestmaninthemountains，pard！Hecouldrunfaster，jumphigher，hitharder，andholdmoretangle-footwhiskywithoutspillingitthananymaninseventeencounties。Putthatin，pard——it\'llpleasetheboysmorethananythingyoucouldsay。Andyoucansay，pard，thathenevershookhismother。”
“Nevershookhismother?“
“That\'sit——anyoftheboyswilltellyouso。”
“Well，butwhyshouldheshakeher?“
“That\'swhatIsay——butsomepeopledoes。”
“Notpeopleofanyrepute?“
“Well，somethataveragesprettyso-so。”
“Inmyopinionthemanthatwouldofferpersonalviolencetohisownmother，oughtto——“
“Cheeseit，pard；you\'vebankedyourballcleanoutsidethestring。
WhatIwasadrivin\'at，was，thatheneverthrowedoffonhismother——
don\'tyousee?Noindeedy。Hegiveherahousetolivein，andtownlots，andplentyofmoney；andhelookedafterherandtookcareofherallthetime；andwhenshewasdownwiththesmall-poxI\'md——difhedidn\'tsetupnightsandnussherhimself！Begyourpardonforsayingit，butithoppedouttooquickforyourstruly。
You\'vetreatedmelikeagentleman，pard，andIain\'tthemantohurtyourfeelingsintentional。Ithinkyou\'rewhite。Ithinkyou\'reasquareman，pard。Ilikeyou，andI\'lllickanymanthatdon\'t。I\'lllickhimtillhecan\'ttellhimselffromalastyear\'scorpse！Putitthere！“[Anotherfraternalhand-shake——andexit。]
Theobsequieswereallthat“theboys“coulddesire。SuchamarveloffuneralpomphadneverbeenseeninVirginia。Theplumedhearse，thedirge-breathingbrassbands，theclosedmartsofbusiness，theflagsdroopingathalfmast，thelong，ploddingprocessionofuniformedsecretsocieties，militarybattalionsandfirecompanies，drapedengines，carriagesofofficials，andcitizensinvehiclesandonfoot，attractedmultitudesofspectatorstothesidewalks，roofsandwindows；andforyearsafterward，thedegreeofgrandeurattainedbyanycivicdisplayinVirginiawasdeterminedbycomparisonwithBuckFanshaw\'sfuneral。
ScottyBriggs，asapall-bearerandamourner，occupiedaprominentplaceatthefuneral，andwhenthesermonwasfinishedandthelastsentenceoftheprayerforthedeadman\'ssoulascended，heresponded，inalowvoice，butwithfeelings:
“AMEN。NoIrishneedapply。”
Asthebulkoftheresponsewaswithoutapparentrelevancy，itwasprobablynothingmorethanahumbletributetothememoryofthefriendthatwasgone；for，asScottyhadoncesaid，itwas“hisword。”
ScottyBriggs，inafterdays，achievedthedistinctionofbecomingtheonlyconverttoreligionthatwasevergatheredfromtheVirginiaroughs；
andittranspiredthatthemanwhohaditinhimtoespousethequarreloftheweakoutofinbornnobilityofspiritwasnomeantimberwhereoftoconstructaChristian。Themakinghimonedidnotwarphisgenerosityordiminishhiscourage；onthecontraryitgaveintelligentdirectiontotheoneandabroaderfieldtotheother。
IfhisSunday-schoolclassprogressedfasterthantheotherclasses，wasitmatterforwonder?Ithinknot。Hetalkedtohispioneersmall-fryinalanguagetheyunderstood！Itwasmylargeprivilege，amonthbeforehedied，tohearhimtellthebeautifulstoryofJosephandhisbrethrentohisclass“withoutlookingatthebook。”Ileaveittothereadertofancywhatitwaslike，asitfell，riddledwithslang，fromthelipsofthatgrave，earnestteacher，andwaslistenedtobyhislittlelearnerswithaconsuminginterestthatshowedthattheywereasunconsciousashewasthatanyviolencewasbeingdonetothesacredproprieties！
CHAPTERXLVIII。
Thefirsttwenty-sixgravesintheVirginiacemeterywereoccupiedbymurderedmen。Soeverybodysaid，soeverybodybelieved，andsotheywillalwayssayandbelieve。Thereasonwhytherewassomuchslaughteringdone，was，thatinanewminingdistricttheroughelementpredominates，andapersonisnotrespecteduntilhehas“killedhisman。”Thatwastheveryexpressionused。
Ifanunknownindividualarrived，theydidnotinquireifhewascapable，honest，industrious，but——hadhekilledhisman?Ifhehadnot，hegravitatedtohisnaturalandproperposition，thatofamanofsmallconsequence；ifhehad，thecordialityofhisreceptionwasgraduatedaccordingtothenumberofhisdead。Itwastediousworkstrugglinguptoapositionofinfluencewithbloodlesshands；butwhenamancamewiththebloodofhalfadozenmenonhissoul，hisworthwasrecognizedatonceandhisacquaintancesought。
InNevada，foratime，thelawyer，theeditor，thebanker，thechiefdesperado，thechiefgambler，andthesaloonkeeper，occupiedthesamelevelinsociety，anditwasthehighest。Thecheapestandeasiestwaytobecomeaninfluentialmanandbelookeduptobythecommunityatlarge，wastostandbehindabar，wearacluster-diamondpin，andsellwhisky。Iamnotsurebutthatthesaloon-keeperheldashadehigherrankthananyothermemberofsociety。Hisopinionhadweight。Itwashisprivilegetosayhowtheelectionsshouldgo。Nogreatmovementcouldsucceedwithoutthecountenanceanddirectionofthesaloon-
keepers。Itwasahighfavorwhenthechiefsaloon-keeperconsentedtoserveinthelegislatureortheboardofaldermen。
Youthfulambitionhardlyaspiredsomuchtothehonorsofthelaw，orthearmyandnavyastothedignityofproprietorshipinasaloon。
Tobeasaloon-keeperandkillamanwastobeillustrious。HencethereaderwillnotbesurprisedtolearnthatmorethanonemanwaskilledinNevadaunderhardlythepretextofprovocation，soimpatientwastheslayertoachievereputationandthrowoffthegallingsenseofbeingheldinindifferentreputebyhisassociates。Iknewtwoyouthswhotriedto“killtheirmen“fornootherreason——andgotkilledthemselvesfortheirpains。“TheregoesthemanthatkilledBillAdams“washigherpraiseandasweetersoundintheearsofthissortofpeoplethananyotherspeechthatadmiringlipscouldutter。
ThemenwhomurderedVirginia\'soriginaltwenty-sixcemetery-occupantswereneverpunished。Why?BecauseAlfredtheGreat，whenheinventedtrialbyjuryandknewthathehadadmirablyframedittosecurejusticeinhisageoftheworld，wasnotawarethatinthenineteenthcenturytheconditionofthingswouldbesoentirelychangedthatunlessherosefromthegraveandalteredthejuryplantomeettheemergency，itwouldprovethemostingeniousandinfallibleagencyfordefeatingjusticethathumanwisdomcouldcontrive。Forhowcouldheimaginethatwesimpletonswouldgoonusinghisjuryplanaftercircumstanceshadstrippeditofitsusefulness，anymorethanhecouldimaginethatwewouldgoonusinghiscandle-clockafterwehadinventedchronometers?Inhisdaynewscouldnottravelfast，andhencehecouldeasilyfindajuryofhonest，intelligentmenwhohadnotheardofthecasetheywerecalledtotry——
butinourdayoftelegraphsandnewspapershisplancompelsustoswearinjuriescomposedoffoolsandrascals，becausethesystemrigidlyexcludeshonestmenandmenofbrains。
Irememberoneofthosesorrowfulfarces，inVirginia，whichwecallajurytrial。AnoteddesperadokilledMr。B。，agoodcitizen，inthemostwantonandcold-bloodedway。Ofcoursethepaperswerefullofit，andallmencapableofreading，readaboutit。Andofcourseallmennotdeafanddumbandidiotic，talkedaboutit。Ajury-listwasmadeout，andMr。B。L。，aprominentbankerandavaluedcitizen，wasquestionedpreciselyashewouldhavebeenquestionedinanycourtinAmerica:
“Haveyouheardofthishomicide?“
“Yes。”
“Haveyouheldconversationsuponthesubject?“
“Yes。”
“Haveyouformedorexpressedopinionsaboutit?“
“Yes。”
“Haveyoureadthenewspaperaccountsofit?“
“Yes。”
“Wedonotwantyou。”
Aminister，intelligent，esteemed，andgreatlyrespected；amerchantofhighcharacterandknownprobity；aminingsuperintendentofintelligenceandunblemishedreputation；aquartzmillownerofexcellentstanding，wereallquestionedinthesameway，andallsetaside。Eachsaidthepublictalkandthenewspaperreportshadnotsobiasedhismindbutthatsworntestimonywouldoverthrowhispreviouslyformedopinionsandenablehimtorenderaverdictwithoutprejudiceandinaccordancewiththefacts。Butofcoursesuchmencouldnotbetrustedwiththecase。
Ignoramusesalonecouldmeteoutunsulliedjustice。
Whentheperemptorychallengeswereallexhausted，ajuryoftwelvemenwasimpaneled——ajurywhosworetheyhadneitherheard，read，talkedaboutnorexpressedanopinionconcerningamurderwhichtheverycattleinthecorrals，theIndiansinthesage-brushandthestonesinthestreetswerecognizantof！Itwasajurycomposedoftwodesperadoes，twolowbeer-housepoliticians，threebar-keepers，tworanchmenwhocouldnotread，andthreedull，stupid，humandonkeys！Itactuallycameoutafterward，thatoneoftheselatterthoughtthatincestandarsonwerethesamething。
Theverdictrenderedbythisjurywas，NotGuilty。Whatelsecouldoneexpect?
Thejurysystemputsabanuponintelligenceandhonesty，andapremiumuponignorance，stupidityandperjury。Itisashamethatwemustcontinuetouseaworthlesssystembecauseitwasgoodathousandyearsago。Inthisage，whenagentlemanofhighsocialstanding，intelligenceandprobity，swearsthattestimonygivenundersolemnoathwilloutweigh，withhim，streettalkandnewspaperreportsbaseduponmerehearsay，heisworthahundredjurymenwhowillsweartotheirownignoranceandstupidity，andjusticewouldbefarsaferinhishandsthanintheirs。
Whycouldnotthejurylawbesoalteredastogivemenofbrainsandhonestyandequalchancewithfoolsandmiscreants?Isitrighttoshowthepresentfavoritismtooneclassofmenandinflictadisabilityonanother，inalandwhoseboastisthatallitscitizensarefreeandequal?Iamacandidateforthelegislature。Idesiretotamperwiththejurylaw。Iwishtosoalteritastoputapremiumonintelligenceandcharacter，andclosethejuryboxagainstidiots，blacklegs，andpeoplewhodonotreadnewspapers。ButnodoubtIshallbedefeated——
everyeffortImaketosavethecountry“missesfire。”
Myidea，whenIbeganthischapter，wastosaysomethingaboutdesperadoisminthe“flushtimes“ofNevada。Toattemptaportrayalofthateraandthatland，andleaveoutthebloodandcarnage，wouldbelikeportrayingMormondomandleavingoutpolygamy。Thedesperadostalkedthestreetswithaswaggergradedaccordingtothenumberofhishomicides，andanodofrecognitionfromhimwassufficienttomakeahumbleadmirerhappyfortherestoftheday。Thedeferencethatwaspaidtoadesperadoofwidereputation，andwho“kepthisprivategraveyard，“asthephrasewent，wasmarked，andcheerfullyaccorded。
Whenhemovedalongthesidewalkinhisexcessivelylong-tailedfrock-
coat，shinystump-toedboots，andwithdaintylittleslouchhattippedoverlefteye，thesmall-fryroughsmaderoomforhismajesty；whenheenteredtherestaurant，thewaitersdesertedbankersandmerchantstooverwhelmhimwithobsequiousservice；whenheshoulderedhiswaytoabar，theshoulderedpartieswheeledindignantly，recognizedhim，and——
apologized。
Theygotalookinreturnthatfrozetheirmarrow，andbythattimeacurledandbreast-pinnedbarkeeperwasbeamingoverthecounter，proudoftheestablishedacquaintanceshipthatpermittedsuchafamiliarformofspeechas:
“How\'reye，Billy，oldfel?Gladtoseeyou。What\'llyoutake——theoldthing?“
The“oldthing“meanthiscustomarydrink，ofcourse。
ThebestknownnamesintheTerritoryofNevadawerethosebelongingtotheselong-tailedheroesoftherevolver。Orators，Governors，capitalistsandleadersofthelegislatureenjoyedadegreeoffame，butitseemedlocalandmeagrewhencontrastedwiththefameofsuchmenasSamBrown，JackWilliams，BillyMulligan，FarmerPease，SugarfootMike，PockMarkedJake，ElDoradoJohnny，JackMcNabb，JoeMcGee，JackHarris，Six-fingeredPete，etc。，etc。Therewasalonglistofthem。Theywerebrave，recklessmen，andtraveledwiththeirlivesintheirhands。Togivethemtheirdue，theydidtheirkillingprincipallyamongthemselves，andseldommolestedpeaceablecitizens，fortheyconsidereditsmallcredittoaddtotheirtrophiessocheapabaubleasthedeathofamanwhowas“notontheshoot，“astheyphrasedit。Theykilledeachotheronslightprovocation，andhopedandexpectedtobekilledthemselves——
fortheyhelditalmostshametodieotherwisethan“withtheirbootson，“astheyexpressedit。
Irememberaninstanceofadesperado\'scontemptforsuchsmallgameasaprivatecitizen\'slife。Iwastakingalatesupperinarestaurantonenight，withtworeportersandalittleprinternamed——Brown，forinstance——anynamewilldo。Presentlyastrangerwithalong-tailedcoatoncamein，andnotnoticingBrown\'shat，whichwaslyinginachair，satdownonit。LittleBrownsprangupandbecameabusiveinamoment。Thestrangersmiled，smoothedoutthehat，andofferedittoBrownwithprofuseapologiescouchedincausticsarcasm，andbeggedBrownnottodestroyhim。Brownthrewoffhiscoatandchallengedthemantofight——
abusedhim，threatenedhim，impeachedhiscourage，andurgedandevenimploredhimtofight；andinthemeantimethesmilingstrangerplacedhimselfunderourprotectioninmockdistress。Butpresentlyheassumedaserioustone，andsaid:
“Verywell，gentlemen，ifwemustfight，wemust，Isuppose。Butdon\'trushintodangerandthensayIgaveyounowarning。IammorethanamatchforallofyouwhenIgetstarted。Iwillgiveyouproofs，andthenifmyfriendherestillinsists，Iwilltrytoaccommodatehim。”
Thetableweweresittingatwasaboutfivefeetlong，andunusuallycumbersomeandheavy。Heaskedustoputourhandsonthedishesandholdthemintheirplacesamoment——oneofthemwasalargeovaldishwithaportlyroastonit。Thenhesatdown，tilteduponeendofthetable，settwoofthelegsonhisknees，tooktheendofthetablebetweenhisteeth，tookhishandsaway，andpulleddownwithhisteethtillthetablecameuptoalevelposition，dishesandall！Hesaidhecouldliftakegofnailswithhisteeth。Hepickedupacommonglasstumblerandbitasemi-circleoutofit。Thenheopenedhisbosomandshowedusanet-workofknifeandbulletscars；showedusmoreonhisarmsandface，andsaidhebelievedhehadbulletsenoughinhisbodytomakeapigoflead。Hewasarmedtotheteeth。HeclosedwiththeremarkthathewasMr——ofCariboo——acelebratednamewhereatweshookinourshoes。Iwouldpublishthename，butforthesuspicionthathemightcomeandcarveme。HefinallyinquiredifBrownstillthirstedforblood。Brownturnedthethingoverinhismindamoment，andthen——askedhimtosupper。
Withthepermissionofthereader，Iwillgrouptogether，inthenextchapter，somesamplesoflifeinoursmallmountainvillageintheolddaysofdesperadoism。Iwasthereatthetime。Thereaderwillobservepeculiaritiesinourofficialsociety；andhewillobservealso，aninstanceofhow，innewcountries，murdersbreedmurders。
CHAPTERXLIX。
Anextractortwofromthenewspapersofthedaywillfurnishaphotographthatcanneednoembellishment:
FATALSHOOTINGAFFRAY——Anaffrayoccurred，lastevening，inabilliardsaloononCstreet，betweenDeputyMarshalJackWilliamsandWm。Brown，whichresultedintheimmediatedeathofthelatter。
Therehadbeensomedifficultybetweenthepartiesforseveralmonths。
Aninquestwasimmediatelyheld，andthefollowingtestimonyadduced:
OfficerGEO。BIRDSALL，sworn，says:——IwastoldWm。BrownwasdrunkandwaslookingforJackWilliams；sosoonasIheardthatIstartedforthepartiestopreventacollision；wentintothebilliardsaloon；sawBillyBrownrunningaround，sayingifanybodyhadanythingagainsthimtoshowcause；hewastalkinginaboisterousmanner，andofficerPerrytookhimtotheotherendoftheroomtotalktohim；Browncamebacktome；remarkedtomethathethoughthewasasgoodasanybody，andknewhowtotakecareofhimself；hepassedbymeandwenttothebar；don\'tknowwhetherhedrankornot；Williamswasattheendofthebilliard-table，nexttothestairway；Brown，aftergoingtothebar，camebackandsaidhewasasgoodasanymanintheworld；hehadthenwalkedouttotheendofthefirstbilliard-tablefromthebar；Imovedclosertothem，supposingtherewouldbeafight；asBrowndrewhispistolIcaughtholdofit；hehadfiredoneshotatWilliams；don\'tknowtheeffectofit；caughtholdofhimwithonehand，andtookholdofthepistolandturneditup；thinkhefiredonceafterIcaughtholdofthepistol；Iwrenchedthepistolfromhim；walkedtotheendofthebilliard-tableandtoldapartythatIhadBrown\'spistol，andtostopshooting；Ithinkfourshotswerefiredinall；afterwalkingout，Mr。FosterremarkedthatBrownwasshotdead。
Oh，therewasnoexcitementaboutit——hemerely“remarked“thesmallcircumstance！
FourmonthslaterthefollowingitemappearedinthesamepapertheEnterprise。InthisitemthenameofoneofthecityofficersabovereferredtoDeputyMarshalJackWilliamsoccursagain:
ROBBERYANDDESPERATEAFFRAY——OnTuesdaynight，aGermannamedCharlesHurtzal，engineerinamillatSilverCity，cametothisplace，andvisitedthehurdy-gurdyhouseonBstreet。Themusic，dancingandTeutonicmaidensawakenedmemoriesofFaderlanduntilourGermanfriendwascarriedawaywithrapture。Heevidentlyhadmoney，andwasspendingiffreely。LateintheeveningJackWilliamsandAndyBlessingtoninvitedhimdownstairstotakeacupofcoffee。Williamsproposedagameofcardsandwentupstairstoprocureadeck，butnotfindinganyreturned。OnthestairwayhemettheGerman，anddrawinghispistolknockedhimdownandrifledhispocketsofsomeseventydollars。Hurtzaldaredgivenoalarm，ashewastold，withapistolathishead，ifhemadeanynoiseorexposedthem，theywouldblowhisbrainsout。Soeffectuallywashefrightenedthathemadenocomplaint，untilhisfriendsforcedhim。
Yesterdayawarrantwasissued，buttheculpritshaddisappeared。
Thisefficientcityofficer，JackWilliams，hadthecommonreputationofbeingaburglar，ahighwaymanandadesperado。ItwassaidthathehadseveraltimesdrawnhisrevolverandleviedmoneycontributionsoncitizensatdeadofnightinthepublicstreetsofVirginia。
Fivemonthsaftertheaboveitemappeared，Williamswasassassinatedwhilesittingatacardtableonenight；agunwasthrustthroughthecrackofthedoorandWilliamsdroppedfromhischairriddledwithballs。
Itwassaid，atthetime，thatWilliamshadbeenforsometimeawarethatapartyofhisownsortdesperadoeshadswornawayhislife；anditwasgenerallybelievedamongthepeoplethatWilliams\'sfriendsandenemieswouldmaketheassassinationmemorable——anduseful，too——byawholesaledestructionofeachother。
Itdidnotsohappen，butstill，timeswerenotdullduringthenexttwenty-fourhours，forwithinthattimeawomanwaskilledbyapistolshot，amanwasbrainedwithaslungshot，andamannamedReederwasalsodisposedofpermanently。SomemattersintheEnterpriseaccountofthekillingofReederareworthnothing——especiallytheaccommodatingcomplaisanceofaVirginiajusticeofthepeace。Theitalicsinthefollowingnarrativearemine:
MORECUTTINGANDSHOOTING——Thedevilseemstohaveagainbrokenlooseinourtown。Pistolsandgunsexplodeandknivesgleaminourstreetsasinearlytimes。Whentherehasbeenalongseasonofquiet，peopleareslowtowettheirhandsinblood；butoncebloodisspilled，cuttingandshootingcomeeasy。NightbeforelastJackWilliamswasassassinated，andyesterdayforenoonwehadmorebloodywork，growingoutofthekillingofWilliams，andonthesamestreetinwhichhemethisdeath。ItappearsthatTomReeder，afriendofWilliams，andGeorgeGumbertweretalking，atthemeatmarketofthelatter，aboutthekillingofWilliamsthepreviousnight，whenReedersaiditwasamostcowardlyacttoshootamaninsuchaway，givinghim“noshow。”GumbertsaidthatWilliamshad“asgoodashowashegaveBillyBrown，“meaningthemankilledbyWilliamslastMarch。Reedersaiditwasad——dlie，thatWilliamshadnoshowatall。Atthis，GumbertdrewaknifeandstabbedReeder，cuttinghimintwoplacesintheback。OnestrokeoftheknifecutintothesleeveofReeder\'scoatandpasseddownwardinaslantingdirectionthroughhisclothing，andenteredhisbodyatthesmalloftheback；anotherblowstruckmoresquarely，andmadeamuchmoredangerouswound。Gumbertgavehimselfuptotheofficersofjustice，andwasshortlyafterdischargedbyJusticeAtwill，onhisownrecognizance，toappearfortrialatsixo\'clockintheevening。
InthemeantimeReederhadbeentakenintotheofficeofDr。Owens，wherehiswoundswereproperlydressed。Oneofhiswoundswasconsideredquitedangerous，anditwasthoughtbymanythatitwouldprovefatal。Butbeingconsiderablyundertheinfluenceofliquor，Reederdidnotfeelhiswoundsasheotherwisewould，andhegotupandwentintothestreet。HewenttothemeatmarketandrenewedhisquarrelwithGumbert，threateninghislife。Friendstriedtointerferetoputastoptothequarrelandgetthepartiesawayfromeachother。IntheFashionSaloonReedermadethreatsagainstthelifeofGumbert，sayinghewouldkillhim，anditissaidthatherequestedtheofficersnottoarrestGumbert，asheintendedtokillhim。AfterthesethreatsGumbertwentoffandprocuredadouble-
barreledshotgun，loadedwithbuck-shotorrevolverballs，andwentafterReeder。Twoorthreepersonswereassistinghimalongthestreet，tryingtogethimhome，andhadhimjustinfrontofthestoreofKlopstock&Harris，whenGumbertcameacrosstowardhimfromtheoppositesideofthestreetwithhisgun。HecameupwithinabouttenorfifteenfeetofReeder，andcalledouttothosewithhimto“lookout！getoutoftheway！“andtheyhadonlytimetoheedthewarning，whenhefired。Reederwasatthetimeattemptingtoscreenhimselfbehindalargecask，whichstoodagainsttheawningpostofKlopstock&Harris\'sstore，butsomeoftheballstookeffectinthelowerpartofhisbreast，andhereeledaroundforwardandfellinfrontofthecask。Gumbertthenraisedhisgunandfiredthesecondbarrel，whichmissedReederandenteredtheground。Atthetimethatthisoccurred，therewereagreatmanypersonsonthestreetinthevicinity，andanumberofthemcalledouttoGumbert，whentheysawhimraisehisgun，to“holdon，“and“don\'tshoot！“Thecuttingtookplaceaboutteno\'clockandtheshootingabouttwelve。Aftertheshootingthestreetwasinstantlycrowdedwiththeinhabitantsofthatpartofthetown，someappearingmuchexcitedandlaughing——declaringthatitlookedlikethe“goodoldtimesof\'60。”MarshalPerryandofficerBirdsallwerenearwhentheshootingoccurred，andGumbertwasimmediatelyarrestedandhisguntakenfromhim，whenhewasmarchedofftojail。Manypersonswhowereattractedtothespotwherethisbloodyworkhadjusttakenplace，lookedbewilderedandseemedtobeaskingthemselveswhatwastohappennext，appearingindoubtastowhetherthekillingmaniahadreacheditsclimax，orwhetherweweretoturninandhaveagrandkillingspell，shootingwhoevermighthavegivenusoffence。Itwaswhisperedaroundthatitwasnotalloveryet——
fiveorsixmoreweretobekilledbeforenight。ReederwastakentotheVirginiaCityHotel，anddoctorscalledintoexaminehiswounds。Theyfoundthattwoorthreeballshadenteredhisrightside；oneofthemappearedtohavepassedthroughthesubstanceofthelungs，whileanotherpassedintotheliver。Twoballswerealsofoundtohavestruckoneofhislegs。Assomeoftheballsstruckthecask，thewoundsinReeder\'slegwereprobablyfromthese，glancingdownwards，thoughtheymighthavebeencausedbythesecondshotfired。Afterbeingshot，Reedersaidwhenhegotonhisfeet——
smilingashespoke——“Itwilltakebettershootingthanthattokillme。”Thedoctorsconsideritalmostimpossibleforhimtorecover，butashehasanexcellentconstitutionhemaysurvive，notwithstandingthenumberanddangerouscharacterofthewoundshehasreceived。Thetownappearstobeperfectlyquietatpresent，asthoughthelatestormytimeshadclearedourmoralatmosphere；butwhocantellinwhatquartercloudsareloweringorplotsripening?
Reeder——oratleastwhatwasleftofhim——survivedhiswoundstwodays！
NothingwaseverdonewithGumbert。
Trialbyjuryisthepalladiumofourliberties。Idonotknowwhatapalladiumis，havingneverseenapalladium，butitisagoodthingnodoubtatanyrate。NotlessthanahundredmenhavebeenmurderedinNevada——perhapsIwouldbewithinboundsifIsaidthreehundred——andasfarasIcanlearn，onlytwopersonshavesufferedthedeathpenaltythere。However，fourorfivewhohadnomoneyandnopoliticalinfluencehavebeenpunishedbyimprisonment——onelanguishedinprisonasmuchaseightmonths，Ithink。However，Idonotdesiretobeextravagant——itmayhavebeenless。
However，oneprophecywasverified，atanyrate。ItwasassertedbythedesperadoesthatoneoftheirbrethrenJoeMcGee，aspecialpoliceman
wasknowntobetheconspiratorchosenbylottoassassinateWilliams；
andtheyalsoassertedthatdoomhadbeenpronouncedagainstMcGee，andthathewouldbeassassinatedinexactlythesamemannerthathadbeenadoptedforthedestructionofWilliams——aprophecywhichcametrueayearlater。AftertwelvemonthsofdistressforMcGeesawafanciedassassinineverymanthatapproachedhim，hemadethelastofmanyeffortstogetoutofthecountryunwatched。HewenttoCarsonandsatdowninasaloontowaitforthestage——itwouldleaveatfourinthemorning。Butasthenightwanedandthecrowdthinned，hegrewuneasy，andtoldthebar-keeperthatassassinswereonhistrack。Thebar-keepertoldhimtostayinthemiddleoftheroom，then，andnotgonearthedoor，orthewindowbythestove。Butafatalfascinationseducedhimtotheneighborhoodofthestoveeverynowandthen，andrepeatedlythebar-
keeperbroughthimbacktothemiddleoftheroomandwarnedhimtoremainthere。Buthecouldnot。Atthreeinthemorningheagainreturnedtothestoveandsatdownbyastranger。Beforethebar-keepercouldgettohimwithanotherwarningwhisper，someoneoutsidefiredthroughthewindowandriddledMcGee\'sbreastwithslugs，killinghimalmostinstantly。BythesamedischargethestrangeratMcGee\'ssidealsoreceivedattentionswhichprovedfatalinthecourseoftwoorthreedays。
CHAPTERL。
Thesemurderandjurystatisticsremindmeofacertainveryextraordinarytrialandexecutionoftwentyyearsago；itisascrapofhistoryfamiliartoalloldCalifornians，andworthytobeknownbyotherpeoplesoftheearththatlovesimple，straightforwardjusticeunencumberedwithnonsense。IwouldapologizeforthisdigressionbutforthefactthattheinformationIamabouttoofferisapologyenoughinitself。AndsinceIdigressconstantlyanyhow，perhapsitisaswelltoeschewapologiesaltogetherandthuspreventtheirgrowingirksome。
Capt。NedBlakely——thatnamewillansweraswellasanyotherfictitiousoneforhewasstillwiththelivingatlastaccounts，andmaynotdesiretobefamous——sailedshipsoutoftheharborofSanFranciscoformanyyears。Hewasastalwart，warm-hearted，eagle-eyedveteran，whohadbeenasailornearlyfiftyyears——asailorfromearlyboyhood。Hewasarough，honestcreature，fullofpluck，andjustasfullofhard-headedsimplicity，too。Hehatedtriflingconventionalities——“business“wastheword，withhim。Hehadallasailor\'svindictivenessagainstthequipsandquirksofthelaw，andsteadfastlybelievedthatthefirstandlastaimandobjectofthelawandlawyerswastodefeatjustice。
HesailedfortheChinchaIslandsincommandofaguanoship。Hehadafinecrew，buthisnegromatewashispet——onhimhehadforyearslavishedhisadmirationandesteem。ItwasCapt。Ned\'sfirstvoyagetotheChinchas，buthisfamehadgonebeforehim——thefameofbeingamanwhowouldfightatthedroppingofahandkerchief，whenimposedupon，andwouldstandnononsense。Itwasafamewellearned。Arrivedintheislands，hefoundthatthestapleofconversationwastheexploitsofoneBillNoakes，abully，themateofatradingship。Thismanhadcreatedasmallreignofterrorthere。Atnineo\'clockatnight，Capt。Ned，allalone，waspacinghisdeckinthestarlight。Aformascendedtheside，andapproachedhim。Capt。Nedsaid:
“Whogoesthere?“
“I\'mBillNoakes，thebestmanintheislands。”
“Whatdoyouwantaboardthisship?“
“I\'veheardofCapt。NedBlakely，andoneofusisabettermanthan\'tother——I\'llknowwhich，beforeIgoashore。”
“You\'vecometotherightshop——I\'myourman。I\'lllearnyoutocomeaboardthisshipwithoutaninvite。”
HeseizedNoakes，backedhimagainstthemainmast，poundedhisfacetoapulp，andthenthrewhimoverboard。
Noakeswasnotconvinced。Hereturnedthenextnight，gotthepulprenewed，andwentoverboardheadfirst，asbefore。
Hewassatisfied。
Aweekafterthis，whileNoakeswascarousingwithasailorcrowdonshore，atnoonday，Capt。Ned\'scoloredmatecamealong，andNoakestriedtopickaquarrelwithhim。Thenegroevadedthetrap，andtriedtogetaway。Noakesfollowedhimup；thenegrobegantorun；Noakesfiredonhimwitharevolverandkilledhim。Halfadozensea-captainswitnessedthewholeaffair。Noakesretreatedtothesmallafter-cabinofhisship，withtwootherbullies，andgaveoutthatdeathwouldbetheportionofanymanthatintrudedthere。Therewasnoattemptmadetofollowthevillains；therewasnodispositiontodoit，andindeedverylittlethoughtofsuchanenterprise。Therewerenocourtsandnoofficers；
therewasnogovernment；theislandsbelongedtoPeru，andPeruwasfaraway；shehadnoofficialrepresentativeontheground；andneitherhadanyothernation。
However，Capt。Nedwasnotperplexinghisheadaboutsuchthings。Theyconcernedhimnot。Hewasboilingwithrageandfuriousforjustice。
Atnineo\'clockatnightheloadedadouble-barreledgunwithslugs，fishedoutapairofhandcuffs，gotaship\'slantern，summonedhisquartermaster，andwentashore。Hesaid:
“Doyouseethatshipthereatthedock?“
“Ay-ay，sir。”
“It\'stheVenus。”
“Ay-ay，sir。”
“You——youknowme。”
“Ay-ay，sir。”
“Verywell，then。Takethelantern。Carryitjustunderyourchin。
I\'llwalkbehindyouandrestthisgun-barrelonyourshoulder，p\'intingforward——so。Keepyourlanternwellupso\'sIcanseethingsaheadofyougood。I\'mgoingtomarchinonNoakes——andtakehim——andjugtheotherchaps。Ifyouflinch——well，youknowme。”
“Ay-ay，sir。”
Inthisordertheyfiledaboardsoftly，arrivedatNoakes\'sden，thequartermasterpushedthedooropen，andthelanternrevealedthethreedesperadoessittingonthefloor。Capt。Nedsaid:
“I\'mNedBlakely。I\'vegotyouunderfire。Don\'tyoumovewithoutorders——anyofyou。Youtwokneeldowninthecorner；facestothewall——now。BillNoakes，putthesehandcuffson；nowcomeupclose。
Quartermaster，fasten\'em。Allright。Don\'tstir，sir。Quartermaster，putthekeyintheoutsideofthedoor。Now，men，I\'mgoingtolockyoutwoin；andifyoutrytoburstthroughthisdoor——well，you\'veheardofme。BillNoakes，fallinahead，andmarch。Allset。Quartermaster，lockthedoor。”
NoakesspentthenightonboardBlakely\'sship，aprisonerunderstrictguard。EarlyinthemorningCapt。Nedcalledinallthesea-captainsintheharborandinvitedthem，withnauticalceremony，tobepresentonboardhisshipatnineo\'clocktowitnessthehangingofNoakesattheyard-arm！
“What！Themanhasnotbeentried。”
“Ofcoursehehasn\'t。Butdidn\'thekillthenigger?“
“Certainlyhedid；butyouarenotthinkingofhanginghimwithoutatrial?“
“Trial！WhatdoIwanttotryhimfor，ifhekilledthenigger?“
“Oh，Capt。Ned，thiswillneverdo。Thinkhowitwillsound。”
“Soundbehanged！Didn\'thekillthenigger?“
“Certainly，certainly，Capt。Ned，——nobodydeniesthat，——but——“
“ThenI\'mgoingtohanghim，that\'sall。EverybodyI\'vetalkedtotalksjustthesamewayyoudo。Everybodysayshekilledthenigger，everybodyknowshekilledthenigger，andyeteverylubberofyouwantshimtriedforit。Idon\'tunderstandsuchbloodyfoolishnessasthat。Tried！
Mindyou，Idon\'tobjecttotryinghim，ifit\'sgottobedonetogivesatisfaction；andI\'llbethere，andchipinandhelp，too；butputitofftillafternoon——putitofftillafternoon，forI\'llhavemyhandsmiddlingfulltillaftertheburying——“
“Why，whatdoyoumean?Areyougoingtohanghimanyhow——andtryhimafterward?“
“Didn\'tIsayIwasgoingtohanghim?Ineversawsuchpeopleasyou。
What\'sthedifference?Youaskafavor，andthenyouain\'tsatisfiedwhenyougetit。Beforeorafter\'sallone——youknowhowthetrialwillgo。Hekilledthenigger。Say——Imustbegoing。Ifyourmatewouldliketocometothehanging，fetchhimalong。Ilikehim。”
Therewasastirinthecamp。ThecaptainscameinabodyandpleadedwithCapt。Nednottodothisrashthing。Theypromisedthattheywouldcreateacourtcomposedofcaptainsofthebestcharacter；theywouldempanelajury；theywouldconducteverythinginawaybecomingtheseriousnatureofthebusinessinhand，andgivethecaseanimpartialhearingandtheaccusedafairtrial。Andtheysaiditwouldbemurder，andpunishablebytheAmericancourtsifhepersistedandhungtheaccusedonhisship。Theypleadedhard。Capt。Nedsaid:
“Gentlemen，I\'mnotstubbornandI\'mnotunreasonable。I\'malwayswillingtodojustasnearrightasIcan。Howlongwillittake?“
“Probablyonlyalittlewhile。”
“AndcanItakehimuptheshoreandhanghimassoonasyouaredone?“
“Ifheisprovenguiltyheshallbehangedwithoutunnecessarydelay。”
“Ifhe\'sprovenguilty。GreatNeptune，ain\'theguilty?Thisbeatsmytime。Whyyouallknowhe\'sguilty。”
Butatlasttheysatisfiedhimthattheywereprojectingnothingunderhanded。Thenhesaid:
“Well，allright。YougoonandtryhimandI\'llgodownandoverhaulhisconscienceandpreparehimtogo——likeenoughheneedsit，andI
don\'twanttosendhimoffwithoutashowforhereafter。”
Thiswasanotherobstacle。Theyfinallyconvincedhimthatitwasnecessarytohavetheaccusedincourt。Thentheysaidtheywouldsendaguardtobringhim。
“No，sir，Iprefertofetchhimmyself——hedon\'tgetoutofmyhands。
Besides，I\'vegottogototheshiptogetarope，anyway。”
Thecourtassembledwithdueceremony，empaneledajury，andpresentlyCapt。Nedentered，leadingtheprisonerwithonehandandcarryingaBibleandaropeintheother。Heseatedhimselfbythesideofhiscaptiveandtoldthecourtto“upanchorandmakesail。”Thenheturnedasearchingeyeonthejury，anddetectedNoakes\'sfriends，thetwobullies。
Hestrodeoverandsaidtothemconfidentially:
“You\'reheretointerfere，yousee。Nowyouvoteright，doyouhear?——orelsethere\'llbeadouble-barreledinquestherewhenthistrial\'soff，andyourremainderswillgohomeinacoupleofbaskets。”
Thecautionwasnotwithoutfruit。Thejurywasaunit——theverdict。
“Guilty。”
Capt。Nedsprungtohisfeetandsaid:
“Comealong——you\'remymeatnow，mylad，anyway。Gentlemenyou\'vedoneyourselvesproud。IinviteyoualltocomeandseethatIdoitallstraight。Followmetothecanyon，amileabovehere。”
Thecourtinformedhimthatasheriffhadbeenappointedtodothehanging，and——
Capt。Ned\'spatiencewasatanend。Hiswrathwasboundless。Thesubjectofasheriffwasjudiciouslydropped。
Whenthecrowdarrivedatthecanyon，Capt。Nedclimbedatreeandarrangedthehalter，thencamedownandnoosedhisman。HeopenedhisBible，andlaidasidehishat。Selectingachapteratrandom，hereaditthrough，inadeepbassvoiceandwithsinceresolemnity。Thenhesaid:
“Lad，youareabouttogoaloftandgiveanaccountofyourself；andthelighteraman\'smanifestis，asfarassin\'sconcerned，thebetterforhim。Makeacleanbreast，man，andcarryalogwithyouthat\'llbearinspection。Youkilledthenigger?“
Noreply。Alongpause。
Thecaptainreadanotherchapter，pausing，fromtimetotime，toimpresstheeffect。Thenhetalkedanearnest，persuasivesermontohim，andendedbyrepeatingthequestion:
“Didyoukillthenigger?“
Noreply——otherthanamalignantscowl。ThecaptainnowreadthefirstandsecondchaptersofGenesis，withdeepfeeling——pausedamoment，closedthebookreverently，andsaidwithaperceptiblesavorofsatisfaction:
“There。Fourchapters。There\'sfewthatwouldhavetookthepainswithyouthatIhave。”
Thenheswungupthecondemned，andmadetheropefast；stoodbyandtimedhimhalfanhourwithhiswatch，andthendeliveredthebodytothecourt。Alittleafter，ashestoodcontemplatingthemotionlessfigure，adoubtcameintohisface；evidentlyhefeltatwingeofconscience——amisgiving——andhesaidwithasigh:
“Well，p\'rapsIoughttoburnthim，maybe。ButIwastryingtodoforthebest。”
WhenthehistoryofthisaffairreachedCaliforniaitwasinthe“earlydays“itmadeadealoftalk，butdidnotdiminishthecaptain\'spopularityinanydegree。Itincreasedit，indeed。Californiahadapopulationthenthat“inflicted“justiceafterafashionthatwassimplicityandprimitivenessitself，andcouldthereforeadmireappreciativelywhenthesamefashionwasfollowedelsewhere。
CHAPTERLI。
Viceflourishedluxuriantlyduringthehey-dayofour“flushtimes。”Thesaloonswereoverburdenedwithcustom；sowerethepolicecourts，thegamblingdens，thebrothelsandthejails——unfailingsignsofhighprosperityinaminingregion——inanyregionforthatmatter。Isitnotso?Acrowdedpolicecourtdocketisthesurestofallsignsthattradeisbriskandmoneyplenty。Still，thereisoneothersign；itcomeslast，butwhenitdoescomeitestablishesbeyondcavilthatthe“flushtimes“areattheflood。Thisisthebirthofthe“literary“paper。
TheWeeklyOccidental，“devotedtoliterature，“madeitsappearanceinVirginia。Alltheliterarypeoplewereengagedtowriteforit。Mr。F。
wastoeditit。Hewasafelicitousskirmisherwithapen，andamanwhocouldsayhappythingsinacrisp，neatway。Once，whileeditoroftheUnion，hehaddisposedofalabored，incoherent，two-columnattackmadeuponhimbyacontemporary，withasingleline，which，atfirstglance，seemedtocontainasolemnandtremendouscompliment——viz。:“THELOGICOF
OURADVERSARYRESEMBLESTHEPEACEOFGOD，“——andleftittothereader\'smemoryandafter-thoughttoinvesttheremarkwithanotherand“moredifferent“meaningbysupplyingforhimselfandathisownleisuretherestoftheScripture——“inthatitpassethunderstanding。”Heoncesaidofalittle，half-starved，waysidecommunitythathadnosubsistenceexceptwhattheycouldgetbypreyinguponchancepassengerswhostoppedoverwiththemadaywhentravelingbytheoverlandstage，thatintheirChurchservicetheyhadalteredtheLord\'sPrayertoread:“Giveusthisdayourdailystranger！“
WeexpectedgreatthingsoftheOccidental。Ofcourseitcouldnotgetalongwithoutanoriginalnovel，andsowemadearrangementstohurlintotheworkthefullstrengthofthecompany。Mrs。F。wasanableromancistoftheineffableschool——Iknownoothernametoapplytoaschoolwhoseheroesarealldaintyandallperfect。Shewrotetheopeningchapter，andintroducedalovelyblondesimpletonwhotalkednothingbutpearlsandpoetryandwhowasvirtuoustothevergeofeccentricity。ShealsointroducedayoungFrenchDukeofaggravatedrefinement，inlovewiththeblonde。Mr。F。followednextweek，withabrilliantlawyerwhosetaboutgettingtheDuke\'sestatesintotrouble，andasparklingyoungladyofhighsocietywhofelltofascinatingtheDukeandimpairingtheappetiteoftheblonde。Mr。D。，adarkandbloodyeditorofoneofthedailies，followedMr。F。，thethirdweek，introducingamysteriousRoscicrucianwhotransmutedmetals，heldconsultationswiththedevilinacaveatdeadofnight，andcastthehoroscopeoftheseveralheroesandheroinesinsuchawayastoprovideplentyoftroublefortheirfuturecareersandbreedasolemnandawfulpublicinterestinthenovel。Healsointroducedacloakedandmaskedmelodramaticmiscreant，puthimonasalaryandsethimonthemidnighttrackoftheDukewithapoisoneddagger。HealsocreatedanIrishcoachmanwitharichbrogueandplacedhimintheserviceofthesociety-young-ladywithanulteriormissiontocarrybillet-douxtotheDuke。
AboutthistimetherearrivedinVirginiaadissolutestrangerwithaliteraryturnofmind——ratherseedyhewas，butveryquietandunassuming；almostdiffident，indeed。Hewassogentle，andhismannersweresopleasingandkindly，whetherhewassoberorintoxicated，thathemadefriendsofallwhocameincontactwithhim。Heappliedforliterarywork，offeredconclusiveevidencethathewieldedaneasyandpracticedpen，andsoMr。F。engagedhimatoncetohelpwritethenovel。
HischapterwastofollowMr。D。\'s，andminewastocomenext。Nowwhatdoesthisfellowdobutgooffandgetdrunkandthenproceedtohisquartersandsettoworkwithhisimaginationinastateofchaos，andthatchaosinaconditionofextravagantactivity。Theresultmaybeguessed。Hescannedthechaptersofhispredecessors，foundplentyofheroesandheroinesalreadycreated，andwassatisfiedwiththem；hedecidedtointroducenomore；withalltheconfidencethatwhiskyinspiresandalltheeasycomplacencyitgivestoitsservant，hethenlaunchedhimselflovinglyintohiswork:hemarriedthecoachmantothesociety-young-ladyforthesakeofthescandal；marriedtheDuketotheblonde\'sstepmother，forthesakeofthesensation；stoppedthedesperado\'ssalary；createdamisunderstandingbetweenthedevilandtheRoscicrucian；threwtheDuke\'spropertyintothewickedlawyer\'shands；
madethelawyer\'supbraidingconsciencedrivehimtodrink，thencetodeliriumtremens，thencetosuicide；brokethecoachman\'sneck；lethiswidowsuccumbtocontumely，neglect，povertyandconsumption；causedtheblondetodrownherself，leavingherclothesonthebankwiththecustomarynotepinnedtothemforgivingtheDukeandhopinghewouldbehappy；revealedtotheDuke，bymeansoftheusualstrawberrymarkonleftarm，thathehadmarriedhisownlong-lostmotheranddestroyedhislong-lostsister；institutedtheproperandnecessarysuicideoftheDukeandtheDuchessinordertocompasspoeticaljustice；openedtheearthandlettheRoscicrucianthrough，accompaniedwiththeaccustomedsmokeandthunderandsmellofbrimstone，andfinishedwiththepromisethatinthenextchapter，afterholdingageneralinquest，hewouldtakeupthesurvivingcharacterofthenovelandtellwhatbecameofthedevil！
Itreadwithsingularsmoothness，andwitha“dead“earnestnessthatwasfunnyenoughtosuffocateabody。Buttherewaswarwhenitcamein。
Theothernovelistswerefurious。Themildstranger，notyetmorethanhalfsober，stoodthere，underascathingfireofvituperation，meekandbewildered，lookingfromonetoanotherofhisassailants，andwonderingwhathecouldhavedonetoinvokesuchastorm。Whenalullcameatlast，hesaidhissaygentlyandappealingly——saidhedidnotrightlyrememberwhathehadwritten，butwassurehehadtriedtodothebesthecould，andknewhisobjecthadbeentomakethenovelnotonlypleasantandplausiblebutinstructiveand——
Thebombardmentbeganagain。Thenovelistsassailedhisill-chosenadjectivesanddemolishedthemwithastormofdenunciationandridicule。
Andsothesiegewenton。Everytimethestrangertriedtoappeasetheenemyheonlymademattersworse。Finallyheofferedtorewritethechapter。Thisarrestedhostilities。Theindignationgraduallyquieteddown，peacereignedagainandthesuffererretiredinsafetyandgothimtohisowncitadel。
Butonthewaythithertheevilangeltemptedhimandhegotdrunkagain。
Andagainhisimaginationwentmad。Heledtheheroesandheroinesawilderdancethanever；andyetallthroughitranthatsameconvincingairofhonestyandearnestnessthathadmarkedhisfirstwork。Hegotthecharactersintothemostextraordinarysituations，putthemthroughthemostsurprisingperformances，andmadethemtalkthestrangesttalk！
Butthechaptercannotbedescribed。Itwassymmetricallycrazy；itwasartisticallyabsurd；andithadexplanatoryfootnotesthatwerefullyascuriousasthetext。Irememberoneofthe“situations，“andwillofferitasanexampleofthewhole。Healteredthecharacterofthebrilliantlawyer，andmadehimagreat-hearted，splendidfellow；gavehimfameandriches，andsethisageatthirty-threeyears。Thenhemadetheblondediscover，throughthehelpoftheRoscicrucianandthemelodramaticmiscreant，thatwhiletheDukelovedhermoneyardentlyandwantedit，hesecretlyfeltasortofleaningtowardthesociety-young-lady。Stungtothequick，shetoreheraffectionsfromhimandbestowedthemwithtenfoldpoweruponthelawyer，whorespondedwithconsumingzeal。Buttheparentswouldnoneofit。WhattheywantedinthefamilywasaDuke；
andaDuketheyweredeterminedtohave；thoughtheyconfessedthatnexttotheDukethelawyerhadtheirpreference。Necessarilytheblondenowwentintoadecline。Theparentswerealarmed。TheypleadedwithhertomarrytheDuke，butshesteadfastlyrefused，andpinedon。Thentheylaidaplan。Theytoldhertowaitayearandaday，andifattheendofthattimeshestillfeltthatshecouldnotmarrytheDuke，shemightmarrythelawyerwiththeirfullconsent。Theresultwasastheyhadforeseen:gladnesscameagain，andtheflushofreturninghealth。Thentheparentstookthenextstepintheirscheme。Theyhadthefamilyphysicianrecommendalongseavoyageandmuchlandtravelforthethoroughrestorationoftheblonde\'sstrength；andtheyinvitedtheDuketobeoftheparty。TheyjudgedthattheDuke\'sconstantpresenceandthelawyer\'sprotractedabsencewoulddotherest——fortheydidnotinvitethelawyer。
SotheysetsailinasteamerforAmerica——andthethirddayout，whentheirsea-sicknesscalledtruceandpermittedthemtotaketheirfirstmealatthepublictable，beholdtheresatthelawyer！TheDukeandpartymadethebestofanawkwardsituation；thevoyageprogressed，andthevesselnearedAmerica。
But，byandby，twohundredmilesoffNewBedford，theshiptookfire；
sheburnedtothewater\'sedge；ofallhercrewandpassengers，onlythirtyweresaved。Theyfloatedabouttheseahalfanafternoonandallnightlong。Amongthemwereourfriends。Thelawyer，bysuperhumanexertions，hadsavedtheblondeandherparents，swimmingbackandforthtwohundredyardsandbringingoneeachtime——thegirlfirst。TheDukehadsavedhimself。Inthemorningtwowhaleshipsarrivedonthesceneandsenttheirboats。Theweatherwasstormyandtheembarkationwasattendedwithmuchconfusionandexcitement。Thelawyerdidhisdutylikeaman；helpedhisexhaustedandinsensibleblonde，herparentsandsomeothersintoaboattheDukehelpedhimselfin；thenachildfelloverboardattheotherendoftheraftandthelawyerrushedthitherandhelpedhalfadozenpeoplefishitout，underthestimulusofitsmother\'sscreams。Thenheranback——afewsecondstoolate——theblonde\'sboatwasunderway。Sohehadtotaketheotherboat，andgototheothership。Thestormincreasedanddrovethevesselsoutofsightofeachother——drovethemwhitheritwould。
Whenitcalmed，attheendofthreedays，theblonde\'sshipwassevenhundredmilesnorthofBostonandtheotheraboutsevenhundredsouthofthatport。Theblonde\'scaptainwasboundonawhalingcruiseintheNorthAtlanticandcouldnotgobacksuchadistanceormakeaportwithoutorders；suchbeingnauticallaw。Thelawyer\'scaptainwastocruiseintheNorthPacific，andhecouldnotgobackormakeaportwithoutorders。Allthelawyer\'smoneyandbaggagewereintheblonde\'sboatandwenttotheblonde\'sship——sohiscaptainmadehimworkhispassageasacommonsailor。Whenbothshipshadbeencruisingnearlyayear，theonewasoffthecoastofGreenlandandtheotherinBehring\'sStrait。Theblondehadlongagobeenwell-nighpersuadedthatherlawyerhadbeenwashedoverboardandlostjustbeforethewhaleshipsreachedtheraft，andnow，underthepleadingsofherparentsandtheDukeshewasatlastbeginningtonerveherselfforthedoomofthecovenant，andprepareforthehatedmarriage。
Butshewouldnotyieldadaybeforethedateset。Theweeksdraggedon，thetimenarrowed，ordersweregiventodecktheshipforthewedding——aweddingatseaamongicebergsandwalruses。Fivedaysmoreandallwouldbeover。Sotheblondereflected，withasighandatear。Ohwherewashertruelove——andwhy，whydidhenotcomeandsaveher?AtthatmomenthewasliftinghisharpoontostrikeawhaleinBehring\'sStrait，fivethousandmilesaway，bythewayoftheArcticOcean，ortwentythousandbythewayoftheHorn——thatwasthereason。Hestruck，butnotwithperfectaim——hisfootslippedandhefellinthewhale\'smouthandwentdownhisthroat。Hewasinsensiblefivedays。Thenhecametohimselfandheardvoices；daylightwasstreamingthroughaholecutinthewhale\'sroof。Heclimbedoutandastonishedthesailorswhowerehoistingblubberupaship\'sside。Herecognizedthevessel，flewaboard，surprisedtheweddingpartyatthealtarandexclaimed:
“Stoptheproceedings——I\'mhere！Cometomyarms，myown！“
Therewerefoot-notestothisextravagantpieceofliteraturewhereintheauthorendeavoredtoshowthatthewholethingwaswithinthepossibilities；hesaidhegottheincidentofthewhaletravelingfromBehring\'sStraittothecoastofGreenland，fivethousandmilesinfivedays，throughtheArcticOcean，fromCharlesReade\'s“LoveMeLittleLoveMeLong，“andconsideredthatthatestablishedthefactthatthethingcouldbedone；andheinstancedJonah\'sadventureasproofthatamancouldliveinawhale\'sbelly，andaddedthatifapreachercouldstanditthreedaysalawyercouldsurelystanditfive！
Therewasafiercerstormthaneverintheeditorialsanctumnow，andthestrangerwasperemptorilydischarged，andhismanuscriptflungathishead。Buthehadalreadydelayedthingssomuchthattherewasnottimeforsomeoneelsetorewritethechapter，andsothepapercameoutwithoutanynovelinit。Itwasbutafeeble，struggling，stupidjournal，andtheabsenceofthenovelprobablyshookpublicconfidence；
atanyrate，beforethefirstsideofthenextissuewenttopress，theWeeklyOccidentaldiedaspeacefullyasaninfant。
Aneffortwasmadetoresurrectit，withtheproposedadvantageofatellingnewtitle，andMr。F。saidthatThePhenixwouldbejustthenameforit，becauseitwouldgivetheideaofaresurrectionfromitsdeadashesinanewandundreamedofconditionofsplendor；butsomelow-
pricedsmartyononeofthedailiessuggestedthatwecallittheLazarus；andinasmuchasthepeoplewerenotprofoundinScripturalmattersbutthoughttheresurrectedLazarusandthedilapidatedmendicantthatbeggedintherichman\'sgatewaywereoneandthesameperson，thenamebecamethelaughingstockofthetown，andkilledthepaperforgoodandall。
Iwassorryenough，forIwasveryproudofbeingconnectedwithaliterarypaper——prouderthanIhaveeverbeenofanythingsince，perhaps。
Ihadwrittensomerhymesforit——poetryIconsideredit——anditwasagreatgrieftomethattheproductionwasonthe“firstside“oftheissuethatwasnotcompleted，andhencedidnotseethelight。Buttimebringsitsrevenges——Icanputitinhere；itwillanswerinplaceofateardroppedtothememoryofthelostOccidental。Theideanotthechiefidea，butthevehiclethatbearsitwasprobablysuggestedbytheoldsongcalled“TheRagingCanal，“butIcannotremembernow。Idoremember，though，thatatthattimeIthoughtmydoggerelwasoneoftheablestpoemsoftheage:
THEAGEDPILOTMAN。
OntheErieCanal，itwas，Allonasummer\'sday，IsailedforthwithmyparentsFarawaytoAlbany。
FromoutthecloudsatnoonthatdayTherecameadreadfulstorm，Thatpiledthebillowshighabout，Andfilleduswithalarm。
Amancamerushingfromahouse，Saying，“SnubupyourboatIpray，[Thecustomarycanaltechnicalityfor“tieup。”]
Snubupyourboat，snubup，alas，Snubupwhileyetyoumay。”
Ourcaptaincastoneglanceastern，Thenforwardglancedhe，Andsaid，“MywifeandlittleonesInevermoreshallsee。”
SaidDollingerthepilotman，Innoblewords，butfew，——
“Fearnot，butleanonDollinger，Andhewillfetchyouthrough。”
Theboatdroveon，thefrightenedmulesTorethroughtherainandwind，Andbravelystill，indanger\'spost，Thewhip-boystrodebehind。
“Come\'board，come\'board，“thecaptaincried，“Nortemptsowildastorm；“
Butstilltheragingmulesadvanced，Andstilltheboystrodeon。
Thensaidthecaptaintousall，“Alas，\'tisplaintome，Thegreaterdangerisnotthere，Buthereuponthesea。
Soletusstrive，whileliferemains，Tosaveallsoulsonboard，Andthenifdieatlastwemust，Let……Icannotspeaktheword！“
SaidDollingerthepilotman，Tow\'ringabovethecrew，“Fearnot，buttrustinDollinger，Andhewillfetchyouthrough。”
“Lowbridge！lowbridge！“allheadswentdown，Thelaboringbarkspedon；
Amillwepassed，wepassedchurch，Hamlets，andfieldsofcorn；
Andalltheworldcameouttosee，AndchasedalongtheshoreCrying，“Alas，alas，thesheetedrain，Thewind，thetempest\'sroar！
Alas，thegallantshipandcrew，Cannothinghelpthemmore?“
AndfromourdecksadeyeslookedoutAcrossthestormyscene:
Thetossingwakeofbillowsaft，Thebendingforestsgreen，ThechickensshelteredundercartsInleeofbarnthecows，Theskurryingswinewithstrawinmouth，Thewildsprayfromourbows！
“Shebalances！
Shewavers！
Nowlethergoabout！
Ifshemissesstaysandbroachesto，We\'reall“——thenwithashout，]
“Huray！huray！
Avast！belay！
Takeinmoresail！
Lord，whatagale！
Ho，boy，haultautonthehindmule\'stail！“
“Ho！lightenship！ho！manthepump！
Ho，hostler，heavethelead！
“Aquarter-three！——\'tisshoalingfast！
Threefeetlarge！——t-h-r-e-efeet！——
Threefeetscant！“Icriedinfright“Oh，istherenoretreat?“
SaidDollinger，thepilotman，Asonthevesselflew，“Fearnot，buttrustinDollinger，Andhewillfetchyouthrough。”
Apanicstruckthebravesthearts，Theboldestcheekturnedpale；
Forplaintoall，thisshoalingsaidAleakhadbursttheditch\'sbed！
And，straightasboltfromcrossbowsped，Ourshipswepton，withshoalinglead，Beforethefearfulgale！
“Severthetow-line！Cripplethemules！“
Toolate！Therecomesashock！
Anotherlength，andthefatedcraftWouldhaveswuminthesavinglock！
ThengatheredtogethertheshipwreckedcrewAndtookonelastembrace，WhilesorrowfultearsfromdespairingeyesRandowneachhopelessface；
AndsomedidthinkoftheirlittleonesWhomtheynevermoremightsee，Andothersofwaitingwivesathome，Andmothersthatgrievedwouldbe。
ButofallthechildrenofmiserythereOnthatpoorsinkingframe，Butonespakewordsofhopeandfaith，AndIworshippedastheycame:
SaidDollingerthepilotman，——
Obraveheart，strongandtrue！——
“Fearnot，buttrustinDollinger，Forhewillfetchyouthrough。”
Lo！scarcethewordshavepassedhislipsThedauntlessprophetsay\'th，WheneverysoulabouthimseethAwondercrownhisfaith！
Andcountyeall，bothgreatandsmall，Asnumberedwiththedead:
Formarinerforfortyyear，OnErie，boyandman，Ineveryetsawsuchastorm，Orone\'twithitbegan！“
SooverboardakegofnailsAndanvilsthreewethrew，Likewisefourbalesofgunny-sacks，Twohundredpoundsofglue，Twosacksofcorn，fourdittowheat，Aboxofbooks，acow，Aviolin，LordByron\'sworks，Arip-sawandasow。
Acurve！acurve！thedangersgrow！
“Labbord！——stabbord！——s-t-e-a-d-y！——so！——
Hard-a-port，Dol！——hellum-a-lee！
Hawtheheadmule！——theaftonegee！
Luff！——bringhertothewind！“
Forstraightafarmerbroughtaplank，——
Mysteriouslyinspired——
Andlayingituntotheship，Insilentaweretired。
TheneverysuffererstoodamazedThatpilotmanbefore；
Amomentstood。Thenwonderingturned，Andspeechlesswalkedashore。