CHAPTERI
Amongotherpublicbuildingsinacertaintown，whichformanyreasonsitwillbeprudenttorefrainfrommentioning，andtowhichIwillassignnofictitiousname，thereisoneancientlycommontomosttowns，greatorsmall:towit，aworkhouse；andinthisworkhousewasborn；onadayanddatewhichIneednottroublemyselftorepeat，inasmuchasitcanbeofnopossibleconsequencetothereader，inthisstageofthebusinessatallevents；theitemofmortalitywhosenameisprefixedtotheheadofthischapter。
Foralongtimeafteritwasusheredintothisworldofsorrowandtrouble，bytheparishsurgeon，itremainedamatterofconsiderabledoubtwhetherthechildwouldsurvivetobearanynameatall；inwhichcaseitissomewhatmorethanprobablethatthesememoirswouldneverhaveappeared；or，iftheyhad，thatbeingcomprisedwithinacoupleofpages，theywouldhavepossessedtheinestimablemeritofbeingthemostconciseandfaithfulspecimenofbiography，extantintheliteratureofanyageorcountry。
AlthoughIamnotdisposedtomaintainthatthebeingborninaworkhouse，isinitselfthemostfortunateandenviablecircumstancethatcanpossiblybefallahumanbeing，Idomeantosaythatinthisparticularinstance，itwasthebestthingforOliverTwistthatcouldbypossibilityhaveoccurred。Thefactis，thattherewasconsiderabledifficultyininducingOlivertotakeuponhimselftheofficeofrespiration，——atroublesomepractice，butonewhichcustomhasrenderednecessarytooureasyexistence；andforsometimehelaygaspingonalittleflockmattress，ratherunequallypoisedbetweenthisworldandthenext:thebalancebeingdecidedlyinfavourofthelatter。Now，if，duringthisbriefperiod，Oliverhadbeensurroundedbycarefulgrandmothers，anxiousaunts，experiencednurses，anddoctorsofprofoundwisdom，hewouldmostinevitablyandindubitablyhavebeenkilledinnotime。Therebeingnobodyby，however，butapauperoldwoman，whowasrenderedrathermistybyanunwontedallowanceofbeer；andaparishsurgeonwhodidsuchmattersbycontract；OliverandNaturefoughtoutthepointbetweenthem。Theresultwas，that，afterafewstruggles，Oliverbreathed，sneezed，andproceededtoadvertisetotheinmatesoftheworkhousethefactofanewburdenhavingbeenimposedupontheparish，bysettingupasloudacryascouldreasonablyhavebeenexpectedfromamaleinfantwhohadnotbeenpossessedofthatveryusefulappendage，avoice，foramuchlongerspaceoftimethanthreeminutesandaquarter。
AsOlivergavethisfirstproofofthefreeandproperactionofhislungs，thepatchworkcoverletwhichwascarelesslyflungovertheironbedstead，rustled；thepalefaceofayoungwomanwasraisedfeeblyfromthepillow；andafaintvoiceimperfectlyarticulatedthewords，\'Letmeseethechild，anddie。\'
Thesurgeonhadbeensittingwithhisfaceturnedtowardsthefire:givingthepalmsofhishandsawarmandarubalternately。Astheyoungwomanspoke，herose，andadvancingtothebed\'shead，said，withmorekindnessthanmighthavebeenexpectedofhim:
\'Oh，youmustnottalkaboutdyingyet。\'
\'Lorblessherdearheart，no！\'interposedthenurse，hastilydepositinginherpocketagreenglassbottle，thecontentsofwhichshehadbeentastinginacornerwithevidentsatisfaction。
\'Lorblessherdearheart，whenshehaslivedaslongasIhave，sir，andhadthirteenchildrenofherown，andallon\'emdeadexcepttwo，andtheminthewurkuswithme，she\'llknowbetterthantotakeoninthatway，blessherdearheart！Thinkwhatitistobeamother，there\'sadearyounglambdo。\'
Apparentlythisconsolatoryperspectiveofamother\'sprospectsfailedinproducingitsdueeffect。Thepatientshookherhead，andstretchedoutherhandtowardsthechild。
Thesurgeondepositeditinherarms。Sheimprintedhercoldwhitelipspassionatelyonitsforehead；passedherhandsoverherface；gazedwildlyround；shuddered；fellback——anddied。
Theychafedherbreast，hands，andtemples；butthebloodhadstoppedforever。Theytalkedofhopeandcomfort。Theyhadbeenstrangerstoolong。
\'It\'sallover，Mrs。Thingummy！\'saidthesurgeonatlast。
\'Ah，poordear，soitis！\'saidthenurse，pickingupthecorkofthegreenbottle，whichhadfallenoutonthepillow，asshestoopedtotakeupthechild。\'Poordear！\'
\'Youneedn\'tmindsendinguptome，ifthechildcries，nurse，\'
saidthesurgeon，puttingonhisgloveswithgreatdeliberation。
\'It\'sverylikelyitWILLbetroublesome。Giveitalittlegruelifitis。\'Heputonhishat，and，pausingbythebed-sideonhiswaytothedoor，added，\'Shewasagood-lookinggirl，too；
wheredidshecomefrom?\'
\'Shewasbroughtherelastnight，\'repliedtheoldwoman，\'bytheoverseer\'sorder。Shewasfoundlyinginthestreet。Shehadwalkedsomedistance，forhershoeswereworntopieces；butwhereshecamefrom，orwhereshewasgoingto，nobodyknows。\'
Thesurgeonleanedoverthebody，andraisedthelefthand。\'Theoldstory，\'hesaid，shakinghishead:\'nowedding-ring，Isee。
Ah！Good-night！\'
Themedicalgentlemanwalkedawaytodinner；andthenurse，havingoncemoreappliedherselftothegreenbottle，satdownonalowchairbeforethefire，andproceededtodresstheinfant。
Whatanexcellentexampleofthepowerofdress，youngOliverTwistwas！Wrappedintheblanketwhichhadhithertoformedhisonlycovering，hemighthavebeenthechildofanoblemanorabeggar；itwouldhavebeenhardforthehaughtieststrangertohaveassignedhimhisproperstationinsociety。Butnowthathewasenvelopedintheoldcalicorobeswhichhadgrownyellowinthesameservice，hewasbadgedandticketed，andfellintohisplaceatonce——aparishchild——theorphanofaworkhouse——thehumble，half-starveddrudge——tobecuffedandbuffetedthroughtheworld——despisedbyall，andpitiedbynone。
Olivercriedlustily。Ifhecouldhaveknownthathewasanorphan，lefttothetendermerciesofchurch-wardensandoverseers，perhapshewouldhavecriedthelouder。
CHAPTERII
TREATSOFOLIVERTWIST\'SGROWTH，EDUCATION，ANDBOARD
Forthenexteightortenmonths，Oliverwasthevictimofasystematiccourseoftreacheryanddeception。Hewasbroughtupbyhand。Thehungryanddestitutesituationoftheinfantorphanwasdulyreportedbytheworkhouseauthoritiestotheparishauthorities。Theparishauthoritiesinquiredwithdignityoftheworkhouseauthorities，whethertherewasnofemalethendomiciledin\'thehouse\'whowasinasituationtoimparttoOliverTwist，theconsolationandnourishmentofwhichhestoodinneed。Theworkhouseauthoritiesrepliedwithhumility，thattherewasnot。
Uponthis，theparishauthoritiesmagnanimouslyandhumanelyresolved，thatOlivershouldbe\'farmed，\'or，inotherwords，thatheshouldbedispatchedtoabranch-workhousesomethreemilesoff，wheretwentyorthirtyotherjuvenileoffendersagainstthepoor-laws，rolledaboutthefloorallday，withouttheinconvenienceoftoomuchfoodortoomuchclothing，undertheparentalsuperintendenceofanelderlyfemale，whoreceivedtheculpritsatandfortheconsiderationofsevenpence-halfpennypersmallheadperweek。Sevenpence-halfpenny\'sworthperweekisagoodrounddietforachild；agreatdealmaybegotforsevenpence-halfpenny，quiteenoughtooverloaditsstomach，andmakeituncomfortable。Theelderlyfemalewasawomanofwisdomandexperience；sheknewwhatwasgoodforchildren；andshehadaveryaccurateperceptionofwhatwasgoodforherself。So，sheappropriatedthegreaterpartoftheweeklystipendtoherownuse，andconsignedtherisingparochialgenerationtoevenashorterallowancethanwasoriginallyprovidedforthem。Therebyfindinginthelowestdepthadeeperstill；andprovingherselfaverygreatexperimentalphilosopher。
Everybodyknowsthestoryofanotherexperimentalphilosopherwhohadagreattheoryaboutahorsebeingabletolivewithouteating，andwhodemonstrateditsowell，thathehadgothisownhorsedowntoastrawaday，andwouldunquestionablyhaverenderedhimaveryspiritedandrampaciousanimalonnothingatall，ifhehadnotdied，four-and-twentyhoursbeforehewastohavehadhisfirstcomfortablebaitofair。Unfortunatelyfor，theexperimenalphilosophyofthefemaletowhoseprotectingcareOliverTwistwasdeliveredover，asimilarresultusuallyattendedtheoperationofHERsystem；forattheverymomentwhenthechildhadcontrivedtoexistuponthesmallestpossibleportionoftheweakestpossiblefood，itdidperverselyhappenineightandahalfcasesoutoften，eitherthatitsickenedfromwantandcold，orfellintothefirefromneglect，orgothalf-smotheredbyaccident；inanyoneofwhichcases，themiserablelittlebeingwasusuallysummonedintoanotherworld，andtheregatheredtothefathersithadneverknowninthis。
Occasionally，whentherewassomemorethanusuallyinterestinginquestuponaparishchildwhohadbeenoverlookedinturningupabedstead，orinadvertentlyscaldedtodeathwhentherehappenedtobeawashing——thoughthelatteraccidentwasveryscarce，anythingapproachingtoawashingbeingofrareoccuranceinthefarm——thejurywouldtakeitintotheirheadstoasktroublesomequestions，ortheparishionerswouldrebelliouslyaffixtheirsignaturestoaremonstrance。Buttheseimpertinenceswerespeedilycheckedbytheevidenceofthesurgeon，andthetestimonyofthebeadle；theformerofwhomhadalwaysopenedthebodyandfoundnothinginsidewhichwasveryprobableindeed，andthelatterofwhominvariablysworewhatevertheparishwanted；whichwasveryself-devotional。Besides，theboardmadeperiodicalpilgrimagestothefarm，andalwayssentthebeadlethedaybefore，tosaytheyweregoing。Thechildrenwereneatandcleantobehold，whenTHEYwent；andwhatmorewouldthepeoplehave！
Itcannotbeexpectedthatthissystemoffarmingwouldproduceanyveryextraordinaryorluxuriantcrop。OliverTwist\'sninthbirthdayfoundhimapalethinchild，somewhatdiminutiveinstature，anddecidelysmallincircumference。ButnatureorinheritancehadimplantedagoodsturdyspiritinOliver\'sbreast。Ithadhadplentyofroomtoexpand，thankstothesparedietoftheestablishment；andperhapstothiscircumstancemaybeattributedhishavinganyninthbirth-dayatall。Bethisasitmay，however，itwashisninthbirthday；andhewaskeepingitinthecoal-cellarwithaselectpartyoftwootheryounggentleman，who，afterparticipatingwithhiminasoundthrashing，hadbeenlockedupforatrociouslypresumingtobehungry，whenMrs。Mann，thegoodladyofthehouse，wasunexpectedlystartledbytheapparitionofMr。Bumble，thebeadle，strivingtoundothewicketofthegarden-gate。
\'Goodnessgracious！Isthatyou，Mr。Bumble，sir?\'saidMrs。
Mann，thrustingherheadoutofthewindowinwell-affectedecstasiesofjoy。\'Susan，takeOliverandthemtwobratsupstairs，andwash\'emdirectly。——Myheartalive！Mr。Bumble，howgladIamtoseeyou，sure-ly！\'
Now，Mr。Bumblewasafatman，andacholeric；so，insteadofrespondingtothisopen-heartedsalutationinakindredspirit，hegavethelittlewicketatremendousshake，andthenbestoweduponitakickwhichcouldhaveemanatedfromnolegbutabeadle\'s。
\'Lor，onlythink，\'saidMrs。Mann，runningout，——forthethreeboyshadbeenremovedbythistime，——\'onlythinkofthat！ThatI
shouldhaveforgottenthatthegatewasboltedontheinside，onaccountofthemdearchildren！Walkinsir；walkin，pray，Mr。
Bumble，do，sir。\'
Althoughthisinvitationwasaccompaniedwithacurtseythatmighthavesoftenedtheheartofachurch-warden，itbynomeansmollifiedthebeadle。
\'Doyouthinkthisrespectfulorproperconduct，Mrs。Mann，\'
inquiredMr。Bumble，graspinghiscane，\'tokeeptheparishofficersawaitingatyourgarden-gate，whentheycomehereuponporochialbusinesswiththeporochialorphans?Areyouaweer，Mrs。Mann，thatyouare，asImaysay，aporochialdelegate，andastipendiary?\'
\'I\'msureMr。Bumble，thatIwasonlyatellingoneortwoofthedearchildrenasissofondofyou，thatitwasyouacoming，\'
repliedMrs。Mannwithgreathumility。
Mr。Bumblehadagreatideaofhisoratoricalpowersandhisimportance。Hehaddisplayedtheone，andvindicatedtheother。
Herelaxed。
\'Well，well，Mrs。Mann，\'herepliedinacalmertone；\'itmaybeasyousay；itmaybe。Leadthewayin，Mrs。Mann，forIcomeonbusiness，andhavesomethingtosay。\'
Mrs。Mannusheredthebeadleintoasmallparlourwithabrickfloor；placedaseatforhim；andofficiouslydepositedhiscockedhatandcanonthetablebeforehim。Mr。Bumblewipedfromhisforeheadtheperspirationwhichhiswalkhadengendered，glancedcomplacentlyatthecockedhat，andsmiled。Yes，hesmiled。Beadlesarebutmen:andMr。Bumblesmiled。
\'Nowdon\'tyoubeoffendedatwhatI\'magoingtosay，\'observedMrs。Mann，withcaptivatingsweetness。\'You\'vehadalongwalk，youknow，orIwouldn\'tmentionit。Now，willyoutakealittledropofsomethink，Mr。Bumble?\'
\'Notadrop。Noradrop，\'saidMr。Bumble，wavinghisrighthandinadignified，butplacidmanner。
\'Ithinkyouwill，\'saidMrs。Mann，whohadnoticedthetoneoftherefusal，andthegesturethathadaccompaniedit。\'Justaleetledrop，withalittlecoldwater，andalumpofsugar。\'
Mr。Bumblecoughed。
\'Now，justaleetledrop，\'saidMrs。Mannpersuasively。
\'Whatisit?\'inquiredthebeadle。
\'Why，it\'swhatI\'mobligedtokeepalittleofinthehouse，toputintotheblessedinfants\'Daffy，whentheyain\'twell，Mr。
Bumble，\'repliedMrs。Mannassheopenedacornercupboard，andtookdownabottleandglass。\'It\'sgin。I\'llnotdeceiveyou，Mr。B。It\'sgin。\'
\'DoyougivethechildrenDaffy，Mrs。Mann?\'inquiredBumble，followingwiththiseyestheinterestingprocessofmixing。
\'Ah，bless\'em，thatIdo，dearasitis，\'repliedthenurse。\'I
couldn\'tsee\'emsufferbeforemyveryeyes，youknowsir。\'
\'No\'；saidMr。Bumbleapprovingly；\'no，youcouldnot。Youareahumanewoman，Mrs。Mann。\'Hereshesetdowntheglass。\'I
shalltakeaearlyopportunityofmentioningittotheboard，Mrs。Mann。\'Hedrewittowardshim。\'Youfeelasamother，Mrs。Mann。\'Hestirredthegin-and-water。\'I——Idrinkyourhealthwithcheerfulness，Mrs。Mann\'；andheswallowedhalfofit。
\'Andnowaboutbusiness，\'saidthebeadle，takingoutaleathernpocket-book。\'Thechildthatwashalf-baptizedOliverTwist，isnineyearoldto-day。；
\'Blesshim！\'interposedMrs。Mann，inflamingherlefteyewiththecornerofherapron。
\'Andnotwithstandingaofferedrewardoftenpound，whichwasafterwardsincreasedtotwentypound。Notwithstandingthemostsuperlative，and，Imaysay，supernat\'ralexertionsonthepartofthisparish，\'saidBumble，\'wehaveneverbeenabletodiscoverwhoishisfather，orwhatwashismother\'ssettlement，name，orcon——dition。\'
MrsMannraisedherhandsinastonishment；butadded，afteramoment\'sreflection，\'Howcomeshetohaveanynameatall，then?\'
Thebeadledrewhimselfupwithgreatpride，andsaid，\'I
inwentedit。\'
\'You，Mr。Bumble！\'
\'I，Mrs。Mann。Wenameourfondlingsinalphabeticalorder。ThelastwasaS，——Swubble，Inamedhim。ThiswasaT，——Twist，I
namedHIM。ThenextonecomeswillbeUnwin，andthenextVilkins。Ihavegotnamesreadymadetotheendofthealphabet，andallthewaythroughitagain，whenwecometoZ。\'
\'Why，you\'requitealiterarycharacter，sir！\'saidMrs。Mann。
\'Well，well，\'saidthebeadle，evidentlygratifiedwiththecompliment；\'perhapsImaybe。PerhapsImaybe，Mrs。Mann。\'Hefinishedthegin-and-water，andadded，\'Oliverbeingnowtoooldtoremainhere，theboardhavedeterminedtohavehimbackintothehouse。Ihavecomeoutmyselftotakehimthere。Soletmeseehimatonce。\'
\'I\'llfetchhimdirectly，\'saidMrs。Mann，leavingtheroomforthatpurpose。Oliver，havinghadbythistimeasmuchoftheoutercoatofdirtwhichencrustedhisfaceandhands，removed，ascouldbescrubbedoffinonewashing，wasledintotheroombyhisbenevolentprotectress。
\'Makeabowtothegentleman，Oliver，\'saidMrs。Mann。
Olivermadeabow，whichwasdividedbetweenthebeadleonthechair，andthecockedhatonthetable。
\'Willyougoalongwithme，Oliver?\'saidMr。Bumble，inamajesticvoice。
Oliverwasabouttosaythathewouldgoalongwithanybodywithgreatreadiness，when，glancingupward，hecaughtsightofMrs。
Mann，whohadgotbehindthebeadle\'schair，andwasshakingherfistathimwithafuriouscountenance。Hetookthehintatonce，forthefisthadbeentoooftenimpresseduponhisbodynottobedeeplyimpresseduponhisrecollection。
\'Willshegowithme?\'inquiredpoorOliver。
\'No，shecan\'t，\'repliedMr。Bumble。\'Butshe\'llcomeandseeyousometimes。\'
Thiswasnoverygreatconsolationtothechild。Youngashewas，however，hehadsenseenoughtomakeafeintoffeelinggreatregretatgoingaway。Itwasnoverydifficultmatterfortheboytocalltearsintohiseyes。Hungerandrecentill-usagearegreatassistantsifyouwanttocry；andOlivercriedverynaturallyindeed。Mrs。Manngavehimathousandembraces，andwhatOliverwantedagreatdealmore，apieceofbreadandbutter，lessheshouldseemtoohungrywhenhegottotheworkhouse。Withthesliceofbreadinhishand，andthelittlebrown-clothparishcaponhishead，OliverwasthenledawaybyMr。Bumblefromthewretchedhomewhereonekindwordorlookhadneverlightedthegloomofhisinfantyears。Andyetheburstintoanagonyofchildishgrief，asthecottage-gateclosedafterhim。Wretchedaswerethelittlecompanionsinmiseryhewasleavingbehind，theyweretheonlyfriendshehadeverknown；andasenseofhislonelinessinthegreatwideworld，sankintothechild\'sheartforthefirsttime。
Mr。Bumblewalkedonwithlongstrides；littleOliver，firmlygraspinghisgold-lacedcuff，trottedbesidehim，inquiringattheendofeveryquarterofamilewhethertheywere\'nearlythere。\'TotheseinterrogationsMr。Bumblereturnedverybriefandsnappishreplies；forthetemporaryblandnesswhichgin-and-waterawakensinsomebosomshadbythistimeevaporated；
andhewasonceagainabeadle。
Oliverhadnotbeenwithinthewallsoftheworkhouseaquarterofanhour，andhadscarcelycompletedthedemolitionofasecondsliceofbread，whenMr。Bumble，whohadhandedhimovertothecareofanoldwoman，returned；and，tellinghimitwasaboardnight，informedhimthattheboardhadsaidhewastoappearbeforeitforthwith。
Nothavingaveryclearlydefinednotionofwhataliveboardwas，Oliverwasratherastoundedbythisintelligence，andwasnotquitecertainwhetherheoughttolaughorcry。Hehadnotimetothinkaboutthematter，however；forMr。Bumblegavehimataponthehead，withhiscane，towakehimup:andanotheronthebacktomakehimlively:andbiddinghimtofollow，conductedhimintoalargewhite-washedroom，whereeightortenfatgentlemenweresittingroundatable。Atthetopofthetable，seatedinanarm-chairratherhigherthantherest，wasaparticularlyfatgentlemanwithaveryround，redface。
\'Bowtotheboard，\'saidBumble。Oliverbrushedawaytwoorthreetearsthatwerelingeringinhiseyes；andseeingnoboardbutthetable，fortunatelybowedtothat。
\'What\'syourname，boy?\'saidthegentlemaninthehighchair。
Oliverwasfrightenedatthesightofsomanygentlemen，whichmadehimtremble:andthebeadlegavehimanothertapbehind，whichmadehimcry。Thesetwocausesmadehimanswerinaverylowandhesitatingvoice；whereuponagentlemaninawhitewaistcoatsaidhewasafool。Whichwasacapitalwayofraisinghisspirits，andputtinghimquiteathisease。
\'Boy，\'saidthegentlemaninthehighchair，\'listentome。Youknowyou\'reanorphan，Isuppose?\'
\'What\'sthat，sir?\'inquiredpoorOliver。
\'TheboyISafool——Ithoughthewas，\'saidthegentlemaninthewhitewaistcoat。
\'Hush！\'saidthegentlemanwhohadspokenfirst。\'Youknowyou\'vegotnofatherormother，andthatyouwerebroughtupbytheparish，don\'tyou?\'
\'Yes，sir，\'repliedOliver，weepingbitterly。
\'Whatareyoucryingfor?\'inquiredthegentlemaninthewhitewaistcoat。Andtobesureitwasveryextraordinary。WhatCOULD
theboybecryingfor?
\'Ihopeyousayyourprayerseverynight，\'saidanothergentlemaninagruffvoice；\'andprayforthepeoplewhofeedyou，andtakecareofyou——likeaChristian。\'
\'Yes，sir，\'stammeredtheboy。Thegentlemanwhospokelastwasunconsciouslyright。ItwouldhavebeenverylikeaChristian，andamarvellouslygoodChristiantoo，ifOliverhadprayedforthepeoplewhofedandtookcareofHIM。Buthehadn\'t，becausenobodyhadtaughthim。
\'Well！Youhavecomeheretobeeducated，andtaughtausefultrade，\'saidthered-facedgentlemaninthehighchair。
\'Soyou\'llbegintopickoakumto-morrowmorningatsixo\'clock，\'
addedthesurlyoneinthewhitewaistcoat。
Forthecombinationofboththeseblessingsintheonesimpleprocessofpickingoakum，Oliverbowedlowbythedirectionofthebeadle，andwasthenhurriedawaytoalargeward；where，onarough，hardbed，hesobbedhimselftosleep。WhatanovelillustrationofthetenderlawsofEngland！Theyletthepaupersgotosleep！
PoorOliver！Helittlethought，ashelaysleepinginhappyunconsciousnessofallaroundhim，thattheboardhadthatverydayarrivedatadecisionwhichwouldexercisethemostmaterialinfluenceoverallhisfuturefortunes。Buttheyhad。Andthiswasit:
Themembersofthisboardwereverysage，deep，philosophicalmen；andwhentheycametoturntheirattentiontotheworkhouse，theyfoundoutatonce，whatordinaryfolkswouldnverhavediscovered——thepoorpeoplelikedit！Itwasaregularplaceofpublicentertainmentforthepoorerclasses；atavernwheretherewasnothingtopay；apublicbreakfast，dinner，tea，andsupperalltheyearround；abrickandmortarelysium，whereitwasallplayandnowork。\'Oho！\'saidtheboard，lookingveryknowing；
\'wearethefellowstosetthistorights；we\'llstopitall，innotime。\'So，theyestablishedtherule，thatallpoorpeopleshouldhavethealternativefortheywouldcompelnobody，notthey，ofbeingstarvedbyagradualprocessinthehouse，orbyaquickoneoutofit。Withthisview，theycontractedwiththewater-workstolayonanunlimitedsupplyofwater；andwithacorn-factortosupplyperiodicallysmallquantitiesofoatmeal；
andissuedthreemealsofthingrueladay，withanoniontwiceaweek，andhalfarollofSundays。Theymadeagreatmanyotherwiseandhumaneregulations，havingreferencetotheladies，whichitisnotnecessarytorepeat；kindlyundertooktodivorcepoormarriedpeople，inconsequenceofthegreatexpenseofasuitinDoctors\'Commons；and，insteadofcompellingamantosupporthisfamily，astheyhadtheretoforedone，tookhisfamilyawayfromhim，andmadehimabachelor！Thereisnosayinghowmanyapplicantsforrelief，undertheselasttwoheads，mighthavestartedupinallclassesofsociety，ifithadnotbeencoupledwiththeworkhouse；buttheboardwerelong-headedmen，andhadprovidedforthisdifficulty。Thereliefwasinseparablefromtheworkhouseandthegruel；andthatfrightenedpeople。
ForthefirstsixmonthsafterOliverTwistwasremoved，thesystemwasinfulloperation。Itwasratherexpensiveatfirst，inconsequenceoftheincreaseintheundertaker\'sbill，andthenecessityoftakingintheclothesofallthepaupers，whichflutteredlooselyontheirwasted，shrunkenforms，afteraweekortwo\'sgruel。Butthenumberofworkhouseinmatesgotthinaswellasthepaupers；andtheboardwereinecstasies。
Theroominwhichtheboyswerefed，wasalargestonehall，withacopperatoneend:outofwhichthemaster，dressedinanapronforthepurpose，andassistedbyoneortwowomen，ladledthegruelatmealtimes。Ofthisfestivecompositioneachboyhadoneporringer，andnomore——exceptonoccasionsofgreatpublicrejoicing，whenhehadtwoouncesandaquarterofbreadbesides。
Thebowlsneverwantedwashing。Theboyspolishedthemwiththeirspoonstilltheyshoneagain；andwhentheyhadperformedthisoperationwhichnevertookverylong，thespoonsbeingnearlyaslargeasthebowls，theywouldsitstaringatthecopper，withsucheagereyes，asiftheycouldhavedevouredtheverybricksofwhichitwascomposed；employingthemselves，meanwhile，insuckingtheirfingersmostassiduously，withtheviewofcatchingupanystraysplashesofgruelthatmighthavebeencastthereon。Boyshavegenerallyexcellentappetites。
OliverTwistandhiscompanionssufferedthetorturesofslowstarvationforthreemonths:atlasttheygotsovoraciousandwildwithhunger，thatoneboy，whowastallforhisage，andhadn\'tbeenusedtothatsortofthingforhisfatherhadkeptasmallcook-shop，hinteddarklytohiscompanions，thatunlesshehadanotherbasinofgruelperdiem，hewasafraidhemightsomenighthappentoeattheboywhosleptnexthim，whohappenedtobeaweaklyyouthoftenderage。Hehadawild，hungryeye；andtheyimplicitlybelievedhim。Acouncilwasheld；lotswerecastwhoshouldwalkuptothemasteraftersupperthatevening，andaskformore；anditfelltoOliverTwist。
Theeveningarrived；theboystooktheirplaces。Themaster，inhiscook\'suniform，stationedhimselfatthecopper；hispauperassistantsrangedthemselvesbehindhim；thegruelwasservedout；andalonggracewassaidovertheshortcommons。Thegrueldisappeared；theboyswhisperedeachother，andwinkedatOliver；
whilehisnextneighboursnudgedhim。Childashewas，hewasdesperatewithhunger，andrecklesswithmisery。Herosefromthetable；andadvancingtothemaster，basinandspooninhand，said:somewhatalarmedathisowntemerity:
\'Please，sir，Iwantsomemore。\'
Themasterwasafat，healthyman；butheturnedverypale。Hegazedinstupifiedastonishmentonthesmallrebelforsomeseconds，andthenclungforsupporttothecopper。Theassistantswereparalysedwithwonder；theboyswithfear。
\'What！\'saidthemasteratlength，inafaintvoice。
\'Please，sir，\'repliedOliver，\'Iwantsomemore。\'
ThemasteraimedablowatOliver\'sheadwiththeladle；pinionedhiminhisarm；andshriekedaloudforthebeadle。
Theboardweresittinginsolemnconclave，whenMr。Bumblerushedintotheroomingreatexcitement，andaddressingthegentlemaninthehighchair，said，\'Mr。Limbkins，Ibegyourpardon，sir！OliverTwisthasaskedformore！\'
Therewasageneralstart。Horrorwasdepictedoneverycountenance。
\'ForMORE！\'saidMr。Limbkins。\'Composeyourself，Bumble，andanswermedistinctly。DoIunderstandthatheaskedformore，afterhehadeatenthesupperallottedbythedietary?\'
\'Hedid，sir，\'repliedBumble。
\'Thatboywillbehung，\'saidthegentlemaninthewhitewaistcoat。\'Iknowthatboywillbehung。\'
Nobodycontrovertedthepropheticgentleman\'sopinion。Ananimateddiscussiontookplace。Oliverwasorderedintoinstantconfinement；andabillwasnextmorningpastedontheoutsideofthegate，offeringarewardoffivepoundstoanybodywhowouldtakeOliverTwistoffthehandsoftheparish。Inotherwords，fivepoundsandOliverTwistwereofferedtoanymanorwomanwhowantedanapprenticetoanytrade，business，orcalling。
\'Ineverwasmoreconvincedofanythinginmylife，\'saidthegentlemaninthewhitewaistcoat，asheknockedatthegateandreadthebillnextmorning:\'Ineverwasmoreconvincedofanythinginmylife，thanIamthatthatboywillcometobehung。\'
AsIpurposetoshowinthesequelwhetherthewhitewaistcoatedgentlemanwasrightornot，Ishouldperhapsmartheinterestofthisnarrativesupposingittopossessanyatall，ifI
venturedtohintjustyet，whetherthelifeofOliverTwisthadthisviolentterminationorno。
CHAPTERIII
RELATESHOWOLIVERTWISTWASVERYNEARGETTINGAPLACEWHICH
WOULDNOTHAVEBEENASINECURE
Foraweekafterthecommissionoftheimpiousandprofaneoffenceofaskingformore，Oliverremainedacloseprisonerinthedarkandsolitaryroomtowhichhehadbeenconsignedbythewisdomandmercyoftheboard。Itappears，atfirstsightnotunreasonabletosuppose，that，ifhehadentertainedabecomingfeelingofrespectforthepredictionofthegentlemaninthewhitewaistcoat，hewouldhaveestablishedthatsageindividual\'spropheticcharacter，onceandforever，bytyingoneendofhispocket-handkerchieftoahookinthewall，andattachinghimselftotheother。Totheperformanceofthisfeat，however，therewasoneobstacle:namely，thatpocket-handkerchiefsbeingdecidedarticlesofluxury，hadbeen，forallfuturetimesandages，removedfromthenosesofpaupersbytheexpressorderoftheboard，incouncilassembled:solemnlygivenandpronouncedundertheirhandsandseals。TherewasastillgreaterobstacleinOliver\'syouthandchildishness。Heonlycriedbitterlyallday；and，whenthelong，dismalnightcameon，spreadhislittlehandsbeforehiseyestoshutoutthedarkness，andcrouchinginthecorner，triedtosleep:everandanonwakingwithastartandtremble，anddrawinghimselfcloserandclosertothewall，asiftofeelevenitscoldhardsurfacewereaprotectioninthegloomandlonelinesswhichsurroundedhim。
Letitnotbesupposedbytheenemiesof\'thesystem，\'that，duringtheperiodofhissolitaryincarceration，Oliverwasdeniedthebenefitofexercise，thepleasureofsociety，ortheadvantagesofreligiousconsolation。Asforexercise，itwasnicecoldweather，andhewasallowedtoperformhisablutionseverymorningunderthepump，inastoneyard，inthepresenceofMr。Bumble，whopreventedhiscatchingcold，andcausedatinglingsensationtopervadehisframe，byrepeatedapplicationsofthecane。Asforsociety，hewascarriedeveryotherdayintothehallwheretheboysdined，andtheresociablyfloggedasapublicwarningandexample。Andsoforfrombeingdeniedtheadvantagesofreligiousconsolation，hewaskickedintothesameapartmenteveryeveningatprayer-time，andtherepermittedtolistento，andconsolehismindwith，ageneralsupplicationoftheboys，containingaspecialclause，thereininsertedbyauthorityoftheboard，inwhichtheyentreatedtobemadegood，virtuous，contented，andobedient，andtobeguardedfromthesinsandvicesofOliverTwist:whomthesupplicationdistinctlysetforthtobeundertheexclusivepatronageandprotectionofthepowersofwickedness，andanarticledirectfromthemanufactoryoftheveryDevilhimself。
Itchancedonemorning，whileOliver\'saffairswereinthisauspiciousandconfortablestate，thatMr。Gamfield，chimney-sweep，wenthiswaydowntheHighStreet，deeplycogitatinginhismindhiswaysandmeansofpayingcertainarrearsofrent，forwhichhislandlordhadbecomeratherpressing。Mr。Gamfield\'smostsanguineestimateofhisfinancescouldnotraisethemwithinfullfivepoundsofthedesiredamount；and，inaspeciesofarthimeticaldesperation，hewasalternatelycudgellinghisbrainsandhisdonkey，whenpassingtheworkhouse，hiseyesencounteredthebillonthegate。
\'Wo——o！\'saidMr。Gamfieldtothedonkey。
Thedonkeywasinastateofprofoundabstraction:wondering，probably，whetherhewasdestinedtoberegaledwithacabbage-stalkortwowhenhehaddisposedofthetwosacksofsootwithwhichthelittlecartwasladen；so，withoutnoticingthewordofcommand，hejoggedonward。
Mr。Gamfieldgrowledafierceimprecationonthedonkeygenerally，butmoreparticularlyonhiseyes；and，runningafterhim，bestowedablowonhishead，whichwouldinevitablyhavebeateninanyskullbutadonkey\'s。Then，catchingholdofthebridle，hegavehisjawasharpwrench，bywayofgentlereminderthathewasnothisownmaster；andbythesemeansturnedhimround。Hethengavehimanotherblowonthehead，justtostunhimtillhecamebackagain。Havingcompletedthesearrangements，hewalkeduptothegate，toreadthebill。
Thegentlemanwiththewhitewaistcoatwasstandingatthegatewithhishandsbehindhim，afterhavingdeliveredhimselfofsomeprofoundsentimentsintheboard-room。HavingwitnessedthelittledisputebetweenMr。Gamfieldandthedonkey，hesmiledjoyouslywhenthatpersoncameuptoreadthebill，forhesawatoncethatMr。GamfieldwasexactlythesortofmasterOliverTwistwanted。Mr。Gamfieldsmiled，too，asheperusedthedocument；forfivepoundswasjustthesumhehadbeenwishingfor；and，astotheboywithwhichitwasencumbered，Mr。
Gamfield，knowingwhatthedietaryoftheworkhousewas，wellknewhewouldbeanicesmallpattern，justtheverythingforregisterstoves。So，hespeltthebillthroughagain，frombeginningtoend；andthen，touchinghisfurcapintokenofhumility，accostedthegentlemaninthewhitewaistcoat。
\'Thishereboy，sir，wottheparishwantsto\'prentis，\'saidMr。
Gamfield。
\'Ay，myman，\'saidthegentlemaninthewhitewaistcoat，withacondescendingsmile。\'Whatofhim?\'
\'Iftheparishvouldlikehimtolearnarightpleasanttrade，inagood\'spectablechimbley-sweepin\'bisness，\'saidMr。Gamfield，\'Iwantsa\'prentis，andIamreadytotakehim。\'
\'Walkin，\'saidthegentlemaninthewhitewaistcoat。Mr。
Gamfieldhavinglingeredbehind，togivethedonkeyanotherblowonthehead，andanotherwrenchofthejaw，asacautionnottorunawayinhisabsence，followedthegentlemanwiththewhitewaistcoatintotheroomwhereOliverhadfirstseenhim。
\'It\'sanastytrade，\'saidMr。Limbkins，whenGamfieldhadagainstatedhiswish。
\'Youngboyshavebeensmotheredinchimneysbeforenow，\'saidanothergentleman。
\'That\'sacausetheydampedthestrawaforetheylititinthechimbleytomake\'emcomedownagain，\'saidGamfield；\'that\'sallsmoke，andnoblaze；vereassmokeain\'to\'nouseatallinmakingaboycomedown，foritonlysindshimtosleep，andthat\'swothelikes。Boysisweryobstinit，andwerylazy，Gen\'l\'men，andthere\'snothinklikeagoodhotblazetomake\'emcomedownvitharun。It\'shumanetoo，gen\'l\'men，acause，evenifthey\'vestuckinthechimbley，roastingtheirfeetmakes\'emstruggletohextricatetheirselves。\'
Thegentlemaninthewhitewaistcoatappearedverymuchamusedbythisexplanation；buthismirthwasspeedilycheckedbyalookfromMr。Limbkins。Theboardthenproceddedtoconverseamongthemselvesforafewminutes，butinsolowatone，thatthewords\'savingofexpenditure，\'\'lookedwellintheaccounts，\'
\'haveaprintedreportpublished，\'werealoneaudible。Theseonlychancedtobeheard，indeed，oraccountoftheirbeingveryfrequentlyrepeatedwithgreatemphasis。
Atlengththewhisperingceased；andthemembersoftheboard，havingresumedtheirseatsandtheirsolemnity，Mr。Limbkinssaid:
\'Wehaveconsideredyourproposition，andwedon\'tapproveofit。\'
\'Notatall，\'saidthegentlemaninthewhitewaistcoat。
\'Decidedlynot，\'addedtheothermembers。
AsMr。Gamfielddidhappentolabourundertheslightimputationofhavingbruisedthreeorfourboystodeathalready，itoccurredtohimthattheboardhad，perhaps，insomeunaccountablefreak，takenitintotheirheadsthatthisextraneouscircumstanceoughttoinfluencetheirproceedings。Itwasveryunliketheirgeneralmodeofdoingbusiness，iftheyhad；butstill，ashehadnoparticularwishtorevivetherumour，hetwistedhiscapinhishands，andwalkedslowlyfromthetable。
\'Soyouwon\'tletmehavehim，gen\'l\'men?\'saidMr。Gamfield，pausingnearthedoor。
\'No，\'repliedMr。Limbkins；\'atleast，asit\'sanastybusiness，wethinkyououghttotakesomethinglessthanthepremiumweoffered。\'
Mr。Gamfield\'scountenancebrightened，as，withaquickstep，hereturnedtothetable，andsaid，\'What\'llyougive，gen\'l\'men?Come！Don\'tbetoohardonapoorman。What\'llyougive?\'
\'Ishouldsay，threepoundtenwasplenty，\'saidMr。Limbkins。
\'Tenshillingstoomuch，\'saidthegentlemaninthewhitewaistcoat。
\'Come！\'saidGamfield；\'sayfourpound，gen\'l\'men。Sayfourpound，andyou\'vegotridofhimforgoodandall。There！\'
\'Threepoundten，\'repeatedMr。Limbkins，firmly。
\'Come！I\'llsplitthediff\'erence，gen\'l\'men，urgedGamfield。
\'Threepoundfifteen。\'
\'Notafarthingmore，\'wasthefirmreplyofMr。Limbkins。
\'You\'redesperateharduponme，gen\'l\'men，saidGamfield，wavering。
\'Pooh！pooh！nonsense！\'saidthegentlemaninthewhitewaistcoat。\'He\'dbecheapwithnothingatall，asapremium。
Takehim，yousillyfellow！He\'sjusttheboyforyou。Hewantsthestick，nowandthen:it\'lldohimgood；andhisboardneedn\'tcomeveryexpensive，forhehasn\'tbeenoverfedsincehewasborn。Ha！ha！ha！\'
Mr。Gamfieldgaveanarchlookatthefacesroundthetable，and，observingasmileonallofthem，graduallybrokeintoasmilehimself。Thebargainwasmade。Mr。Bumble，wasatonceinstructedthatOliverTwistandhisindenturesweretobeconveyedbeforethemagistrate，forsignatureandapproval，thatveryafternoon。
Inpursuanceofthisdetermination，littleOliver，tohisexcessiveastonishment，wasreleasedfrombondage，andorderedtoputhimselfintoacleanshirt。Hehadhardlyachievedthisveryunusualgymnasticperformance，whenMr。Bumblebroughthim，withhisownhands，abasinofgruel，andtheholidayallowanceoftwoouncesandaquarterofbread。Atthistremendoussight，Oliverbegantocryverypiteously:thinking，notunaturally，thattheboardmusthavedeterminedtokillhimforsomeusefulpurpose，ortheyneverwouldhavebeguntofattenhimupinthatway。
\'Don\'tmakeyoureyesred，Oliver，buteatyourfoodandbethankful，\'saidMr。Bumble，inatoneofimpressivepomposity。
\'You\'reagoingtobemadea\'prenticeof，Oliver。\'
\'Aprentice，sir！\'saidthechild，trembling。
\'Yes，Oliver，\'saidMr。Bumble。\'Thekindandblessedgentlemanwhichissoamnyparentstoyou，Oliver，whenyouhavenoneofyourown:areagoingto\'prenticeyou:andtosetyouupinlife，andmakeamanofyou:althoughtheexpensetotheparishisthreepoundten！——threepoundten，Oliver！——seventyshillins——onehundredandfortysixpences！——andallforanaughtyorphanwhichnobodaycan\'tlove。\'
AsMr。Bumblepausedtotakebreath，afterdeliveringthisaddressinanawfulvoice，thetearsrolleddownthepoorchild\'sface，andhesobbedbitterly。
\'Come，\'saidMr。Bumble，somewhatlesspompously，foritwasgratifyingtohisfeelingstoobservetheeffecthiseloquencehadproduced；\'Come，Oliver！Wipeyoureyeswiththecuffsofyourjacket，anddon\'tcryintoyourgruel；that\'saveryfoolishaction，Oliver。\'Itcertainlywas，fortherewasquiteenoughwaterinitalready。
Ontheirwaytothemagistrate，Mr。BumbleinstructedOliverthatallhewouldhavetodo，wouldbetolookveryhappy，andsay，whenthegentlemanaskedhimifhewantedtobeapprenticed，thatheshouldlikeitverymuchindeed；bothofwhichinjunctionsOliverpromisedtoobey:theratherasMr。Bumblethrewinagentlehint，thatifhefailedineitherparticular，therewasnotellingwhatwouldbedonetohim。Whentheyarrivedattheoffice，hewasshutupinalittleroombyhimself，andadmonishedbyMr。Bumbletostaythere，untilhecamebacktofetchhim。
Theretheboyremained，withapalpitatingheart，forhalfanhour。AttheexpirationofwhichtimeMr。Bumblethrustinhishead，unadornedwiththecockedhat，andsaidaloud:
\'Now，Oliver，mydear，cometothegentleman。\'AsMr。Bumblesaidthis，heputonagrimandthreateninglook，andadded，inalowvoice，\'MindwhatItoldyou，youyoungrascal！\'
OliverstaredinnocentlyinMr。Bumble\'sfaceatthissomewhatcontradictorystyleofaddress；butthatgentlemanpreventedhisofferinganyremarkthereupon，byleadinghimatonceintoanadjoiningroom:thedoorofwhichwasopen。Itwasalargeroom，withagreatwindow。Behindadesk，sattwooldgentlemanwithpowderedheads:oneofwhomwasreadingthenewspaper；whiletheotherwasperusing，withtheaidofapairoftortoise-shellspectacles，asmallpieceofparchmentwhichlaybeforehim。Mr。
Limbkinswasstandinginfrontofthedeskononeside；andMr。
Gamfield，withapartiallywashedface，ontheother；whiletwoorthreebluff-lookingmen，intop-boots，wereloungingabout。
Theoldgentlemanwiththespectaclesgraduallydozedoff，overthelittlebitofparchment；andtherewasashortpause，afterOliverhadbeenstationedbyMr。Bumbleinfrontofthedesk。
\'Thisistheboy，yourworship，\'saidMr。Bumble。
Theoldgentlemanwhowasreadingthenewspaperraisedhisheadforamoment，andpulledtheotheroldgentlemanbythesleeve；
whereupon，thelast-mentionedoldgentlemanwokeup。
\'Oh，isthistheboy?\'saidtheoldgentleman。
\'Thisishim，sir，\'repliedMr。Bumble。\'Bowtothemagistrate，mydear。\'
Oliverrousedhimself，andmadehisbestobeisance。Hehadbeenwondering，withhiseyesfixedonthemagistrates\'powder，whetherallboardswerebornwiththatwhitestuffontheirheads，andwereboardsfromthenceforthonthataccount。
\'Well，\'saidtheoldgentleman，\'Isupposehe\'sfondofchimney-sweeping?\'
\'Hedoatsonit，yourworship，\'repliedBumble；givingOliveraslypinch，tointimatethathehadbetternotsayhedidn\'t。
\'AndheWILLbeasweep，willhe?\'inquiredtheoldgentleman。
\'Ifwewastobindhimtoanyothertradeto-morrow，he\'drunawaysimultaneous，yourworship，\'repliedBumble。
\'Andthismanthat\'stobehismaster——you，sir——you\'lltreathimwell，andfeedhim，anddoallthatsortofthing，willyou?\'
saidtheoldgentleman。
\'WhenIsaysIwill，ImeansIwill，\'repliedMr。Gamfielddoggedly。
\'You\'rearoughspeaker，myfriend，butyoulookanhonest，open-heartedman，\'saidtheoldgentleman:turninghisspectaclesinthedirectionofthecandidateforOliver\'spremium，whosevillainouscountenancewasaregularstampedreceiptforcruelty。Butthemagistratewashalfblindandhalfchildish，sohecouldn\'treasonablybeexpectedtodiscernwhatotherpeopledid。
\'IhopeIam，sir，\'saidMr。Gamfield，withanuglyleer。
\'Ihavenodoubtyouare，myfriend，\'repliedtheoldgentleman:
fixinghisspectaclesmorefirmlyonhisnose，andlookingabouthimfortheinkstand。
ItwasthecriticalmomentofOliver\'sfate。Iftheinkstandhadbeenwheretheoldgentlemanthoughitwas，hewouldhavedippedhispenintoit，andsignedtheindentures，andOliverwouldhavebeenstraightwayhurriedoff。But，asitchancedtobeimmediatelyunderhisnose，itfollowed，asamatterofcourse，thathelookedalloverhisdeskforit，withoutfindingit；andhappeninginthecourseofhissearchtolookstraightbeforehim，hisgazeencounteredthepaleandterrifiedfaceofOliverTwist:who，despitealltheadmonitorylooksandpinchesofBumble，wasregardingtherepulsivecountenanceofhisfuturemaster，withamingledexpressionofhorrorandfear，toopalpabletobemistaken，evenbyahalf-blindmagistrate。
Theoldgentlemanstopped，laiddownhispen，andlookedfromOlivertoMr。Limbkins；whoattemptedtotakesnuffwithacheerfulandunconcernedaspect。
\'Myboy！\'saidtheoldgentleman，\'youlookpaleandalarmed。
Whatisthematter?\'
\'Standalittleawayfromhim，Beadle，\'saidtheothermagistrate:layingasidethepaper，andleaningforwardwithanexpressionofinterest。\'Now，boy，telluswhat\'sthematter:
don\'tbeafraid。\'
Oliverfellonhisknees，andclaspinghishandstogether，prayedthattheywouldorderhimbacktothedarkroom——thattheywouldstarvehim——beathim——killhimiftheypleased——ratherthansendhimawaywiththatdreadfulman。
\'Well！\'saidMr。Bumble，raisinghishandsandeyeswithmostimpressivesolemnite。\'Well！ofalltheartfulanddesigningorphansthateverIsee，Oliver，youareoneofthemostbare-facedest。\'
\'Holdyourtongue，Beadle，\'saidthesecondoldgentleman，whenMr。Bumblehadgivenventtothiscompoundadjective。
\'Ibegyourworship\'spardon，\'saidMr。Bumble，incredulousofhavingheardaright。\'Didyourworshipspeaktome?\'
\'Yes。Holdyourtongue。\'
Mr。Bumblewasstupefiedwithastonishment。Abeadleorderedtoholdhistongue！Amoralrevolution！
Theoldgentlemaninthetortoise-shellspectacleslookedathiscompanion，henoddedsignificantly。
\'Werefusetosanctiontheseindentures，\'saidtheoldgentleman:
tossingasidethepieceofparchmentashespoke。
\'Ihope，\'stammeredMr。Limbkins:\'Ihopethemagistrateswillnotformtheopinionthattheauthoritieshavebeenguiltyofanyimproperconduct，ontheunsupportedtestimonyofachild。\'
\'Themagistratesarenotcalledupontopronounceanyopiniononthematter，\'saidthesecondoldgentlemansharply。\'Taketheboybacktotheworkhouse，andtreathimkindly。Heseemstowantit。\'
Thatsameevening，thegentlemaninthewhitewaistcoatmostpositivelyanddecidedlyaffirmed，notonlythatOliverwouldbehung，butthathewouldbedrawnandquarteredintothebargain。
Mr。Bumbleshookhisheadwithgloomymystery，andsaidhewishedhemightcometogood；whereuntoMr。Gamfieldreplied，thathewishedhemightcometohim；which，althoughheagreedwiththebeadleinmostmatters，wouldseemtobeawishofatotalyoppositedescription。
Thenextmorning，thepublicwereonceinformedthatOliverTwistwasagainToLet，andthatfivepoundswouldbepaidtoanybodywhowouldtakepossessionofhim。
CHAPTERIV
OLIVER，BEINGOFFEREDANOTHERPLACE，MAKESHISFIRSTENTRYINTO
PUBLICLIFE
Ingreatfamilies，whenanadvantageousplacecannotbeobtained，eitherinpossession，reversion，remainder，orexpectancy，fortheyoungmanwhoisgrowingup，itisaverygeneralcustomtosendhimtosea。Theboard，inimitationofsowiseandsalutaryanexample，tookcounseltogetherontheexpediencyofshippingoffOliverTwist，insomesmalltradingvesselboundtoagoodunhealthyport。Thissuggesteditselfastheverybestthingthatcouldpossiblybedonewithhim:theprobabilitybeing，thattheskipperwouldfloghimtodeath，inaplayfulmood，somedayafterdinner，orwouldknockhisbrainsoutwithanironbar；
bothpastimesbeing，asisprettygenerallyknown，veryfavouriteandcommonrecreationsamonggentlemanofthatclass。Themorethecasepresenteditselftotheboard，inthispointofview，themoremanifoldtheadvantagesofthestepappeared；so，theycametotheconclusionthattheonlywayofprovidingforOlivereffectually，wastosendhimtoseawithoutdelay。
Mr。Bumblehadbeendespatchedtomakevariouspreliminaryinquiries，withtheviewoffindingoutsomecaptainorotherwhowantedacabin-boywithoutanyfriends；andwasreturningtotheworkhousetocommunicatetheresultofhismission；whenheencounteredatthegate，nolessapersonthanMr。Sowerberry，theparochialundertaker。
Mr。Sowerberrywasatallgaunt，large-jointedman，attiredinasuitofthreadbareblack，withdarnedcottonstockingsofthesamecolour，andshoestoanswer。Hisfeatureswerenotnaturallyintendedtowearasmilingaspect，buthewasingeneralrathergiventoprofessionaljocosity。Hisstepwaselastic，andhisfacebetokenedinwardpleasantry，asheadvancedtoMr。Bumble，andshookhimcordiallybythehand。
\'Ihavetakenthemeasureofthetwowomenthatdiedlastnight，Mr。Bumble，\'saidtheundertaker。
\'You\'llmakeyourfortune，Mr。Sowerberry，\'saidthebeadle，ashethrusthisthumbandforefingerintotheproferredsnuff-boxoftheundertaker:whichwasaningeniouslittlemodelofapatentcoffin。\'Isayyou\'llmakeyourfortune，Mr。Sowerberry，\'
repeatedMr。Bumble，tappingtheundertakerontheshoulder，inafriendlymanner，withhiscane。
\'Thinkso?\'saidtheundertakerinatonewhichhalfadmittedandhalfdisputedtheprobabilityoftheevent。\'Thepricesallowedbytheboardareverysmall，Mr。Bumble。\'
\'Soarethecoffins，\'repliedthebeadle:withpreciselyasnearanapproachtoalaughasagreatofficialoughttoindulgein。
Mr。Sowerberrywasmuchtickledatthis:asofcourseheoughttobe；andlaughedalongtimewithoutcessation。\'Well，well，Mr。Bumble，\'hesaidatlength，\'there\'snodenyingthat，sincethenewsystemoffeedinghascomein，thecoffinsaresomethingnarrowerandmoreshallowthantheyusedtobe；butwemusthavesomeprofit，Mr。Bumble。Well-seasonedtimberisanexpensivearticle，sir；andalltheironhandlescome，bycanal，fromBirmingham。\'
\'Well，well，\'saidMr。Bumble，\'everytradehasitsdrawbacks。A
fairprofitis，ofcourse，allowable。\'
\'Ofcourse，ofcourse，\'repliedtheundertaker；\'andifIdon\'tgetaprofituponthisorthatparticulararticle，why，Imakeitupinthelong-run，yousee——he！he！he！\'
\'Justso，\'saidMr。Bumble。
\'ThoughImustsay，\'continuedtheundertaker，resumingthecurrentofobservationswhichthebeadlehadinterrupted:\'thoughImustsay，Mr。Bumble，thatIhavetocontendagainstoneverygreatdisadvantage:whichis，thatallthestoutpeoplegooffthequickest。Thepeoplewhohavebeenbetteroff，andhavepaidratesformanyyears，arethefirsttosinkwhentheycomeintothehouse；andletmetellyou，Mr。Bumble，thatthreeorfourinchesoverone\'scalculationmakesagreatholeinone\'sprofits:especiallywhenonehasafamilytoprovidefor，sir。\'
AsMr。Sowerberrysaidthis，withthebecomingindignationofanill-usedman；andasMr。Bumblefeltthatitrathertendedtoconveyareflectiononthehonouroftheparish；thelattergentlemanthoughtitadvisabletochangethesubject。OliverTwistbeinguppermostinhismind，hemadehimhistheme。
\'Bythebye，\'saidMr。Bumble，\'youdon\'tknowanybodywhowantsaboy，doyou?Aporochial\'prentis，whoisatpresentadead-weight；amillstone，asImaysay，roundtheporochialthroat?Liberalterms，Mr。Sowerberry，liberalterms?\'AsMr。
Bumblespoke，heraisedhiscanetothebillabovehim，andgavethreedistinctrapsuponthewords\'fivepounds\':whichwereprintedthereoninRomancapitalsofgiganticsize。
\'Gadso！\'saidtheundertaker:takingMr。Bumblebythegilt-edgedlappelofhisofficialcoat；\'that\'sjusttheverythingIwantedtospeaktoyouabout。Youknow——dearme，whataveryelegantbuttonthisis，Mr。Bumble！Inevernoticeditbefore。\'
\'Yes，Ithinkitratherpretty，\'saidthebeadle，glancingproudlydownwardsatthelargebrassbuttonswhichembellishedhiscoat。\'Thedieisthesameastheporochialseal——theGoodSamaritanhealingthesickandbruisedman。TheboardpresentedittomeonNewyear\'smorning，Mr。Sowerberry。Iputiton，I
remember，forthefirsttime，toattendtheinquestonthatreducedtradesman，whodiedinadoorwayatmidnight。\'
\'Irecollect，\'saidtheundertaker。\'Thejurybroughtitin，“Diedfromexposuretothecold，andwantofthecommonnecessariesoflife，“didn\'tthey?\'
Mr。Bumblenodded。
\'Andtheymadeitaspecialverdict，Ithink，\'saidtheundertaker，\'byaddingsomewordstotheeffect，thatiftherelievingofficerhad——\'
\'Tush！Foolery！\'interposedthebeadle。\'Iftheboardattendedtoallthenonsensethatignorantjurymentalk，they\'dhaveenoughtodo。\'
\'Verytrue，\'saidtheundertaker；\'theywouldindeed。\'
\'Juries，\'saidMr。Bumble，graspinghiscanetightly，aswashiswontwhenworkingintoapassion:\'juriesisineddicated，vulgar，grovellingwretches。\'
\'Sotheyare，\'saidtheundertaker。
\'Theyhaven\'tnomorephilosophynorpoliticaleconomyabout\'emthanthat，\'saidthebeadle，snappinghisfingerscontemptuously。
\'Nomoretheyhave，\'acquiescedtheundertaker。
\'Idespise\'em，\'saidthebeadle，growingveryredintheface。
\'SodoI，\'rejoinedtheundertaker。
\'AndIonlywishwe\'dajuryoftheindependentsort，inthehouseforaweekortwo，\'saidthebeadle；\'therulesandregulationsoftheboardwouldsoonbringtheirspiritdownfor\'em。\'
\'Let\'emaloneforthat，\'repliedtheundertaker。Sosaying，hesmiled，approvingly:tocalmtherisingwrathoftheindignantparishofficer。
MrBumbleliftedoffhiscockedhat；tookahandkerchieffromtheinsideofthecrown；wipedfromhisforeheadtheperspirationwhichhisragehadengendered；fixedthecockedhatonagain；
and，turningtotheundertaker，saidinacalmervoice:
\'Well；whatabouttheboy?\'
\'Oh！\'repliedtheundertaker；why，youknow，Mr。Bumble，Ipayagooddealtowardsthepoor\'srates。\'
\'Hem！\'saidMr。Bumble。\'Well?\'
\'Well，\'repliedtheundertaker，\'IwasthinkingthatifIpaysomuchtowards\'em，I\'vearighttogetasmuchoutof\'emasI
can，Mr。Bumble；andso——IthinkI\'lltaketheboymyself。\'
Mr。Bumblegraspedtheundertakerbythearm，andledhimintothebuilding。Mr。Sowerberrywasclosetedwiththeboardforfiveminutes；anditwasarrangedthatOlivershouldgotohimthatevening\'uponliking\'——aphrasewhichmeans，inthecaseofaparishapprentice，thatifthemasterfind，uponashorttrial，thathecangetenoughworkoutofaboywithoutputtingtoomuchfoodintohim，heshallhavehimforatermofyears，todowhathelikeswith。
WhenlittleOliverwastakenbefore\'thegentlemen\'thatevening；
andinformedthathewastogo，thatnight，asgeneralhouse-ladtoacoffin-maker\'s；andthatifhecomplainedofhissituation，orevercamebacktotheparishagain，hewouldbesenttosea，theretobedrowned，orknockedonthehead，asthecasemightbe，heevincedsolittleemotion，thattheybycommonconsentpronouncedhimahardenedyoungrascal，andoreredMr。Bumbletoremovehimforthwith。
Now，althoughitwasverynaturalthattheboard，ofallpeopleintheworld，shouldfeelinagreatstateofvirtuousastonishmentandhorroratthesmallesttokensofwantoffeelingonthepartofanybody，theywereratherout，inthisparticularinstance。Thesimplefactwas，thatOliver，insteadofpossessingtoolittlefeeling，possessedrathertoomuch；andwasinafairwayofbeingreduced，forlife，toastateofbrutalstupidityandsullennessbytheillusagehehadreceived。Heheardthenewsofhisdestination，inperfectsilence；and，havinghadhisluggageputintohishand——whichwasnotverydifficulttocarry，inasmuchasitwasallcomprisedwithinthelimitsofabrownpaperparcel，abouthalfafootsquarebythreeinchesdeep——hepulledhiscapoverhiseyes；andoncemoreattachinghimselftoMr。Bumble\'scoatcuff，wasledawaybythatdignitarytoanewsceneofsuffering。
Forsometime，Mr。BumbledrewOliveralong，withoutnoticeorremark；forthebeadlecarriedhisheadveryerect，asabeadlealwaysshould:and，itbeingawindyday，littleOliverwascompletelyenshroudedbytheskirtsofMr。Bumble\'scoatastheyblewopen，anddisclosedtogreatadvantagehisflappedwaistcoatanddrabplushknee-breeches。Astheydrewneartotheirdestination，however，Mr。Bumblethoughtitexpedienttolookdown，andseethattheboywasingoodorderforinspectionbyhisnewmaster:whichheaccordinglydid，withafitandbecomingairofgraciouspatronage。
\'Oliver！\'saidMr。Bumble。
\'Yes，sir，\'repliedOliver，inalow，tremulousvoice。
\'Pullthatcapoffyoureyes，andholdupyourhead，sir。\'
AlthoughOliverdidashewasdesired，atonce；andpassedthebackofhisunoccupiedhandbrisklyacrosshiseyes，heleftatearinthemwhenhelookedupathisconductor。AsMr。Bumblegazedsternlyuponhim，itrolleddownhischeek。Itwasfollowedbyanother，andanother。Thechildmadeastrongeffort，butitwasanunsuccessfulone。WithdrawinghisotherhandfromMr。
Bumble\'shecoveredhisfacewithboth；andweptuntilthetearssprungoutfrombetweenhischinandbonyfingers。
\'Well！\'exclaimedMr。Bumble，stoppingshort，anddartingathislittlechargealookofintensemalignity。\'Well！OfALLtheungratefullest，andworst-disposedboysaseverIsee，Oliver，youarethe——\'
\'No，no，sir，\'sobbedOliver，clingingtothehandwhichheldthewell-knowncane；\'no，no，sir；Iwillbegoodindeed；indeed，indeedIwill，sir！Iamaverylittleboy，sir；anditisso——so——\'
\'Sowhat?\'inquiredMr。Bumbleinamazement。
\'Solonely，sir！Soverylonely！\'criedthechild。\'Everybodyhatesme。Oh！sir，don\'t，don\'tpraybecrosstome！\'Thechildbeathishanduponhisheart；andlookedinhiscompanion\'sface，withtearsofrealagony。
Mr。BumbleregardedOliver\'spiteousandhelplesslook，withsomeastonishment，forafewseconds；hemmedthreeorfourtimesinahuskymanner；andaftermutteringsomethingabout\'thattroublesomecough，\'badeOliverdryhiseyesandbeagoodboy。
Thenoncemoretakinghishand，hewalkedonwithhiminsilence。
Theundertaker，whohadjustputuptheshuttersofhisshop，wasmakingsomeentriesinhisday-bookbythelightofamostappropriatedismalcandle，whenMr。Bumbleentered。
\'Aha！\'saidtheundertaker；lookingupfromthebook，andpausinginthemiddleofaword；\'isthatyou，Bumble?\'
\'Nooneelse，Mr。Sowerberry，\'repliedthebeadle。\'Here！I\'vebroughttheboy。\'Olivermadeabow。
\'Oh！that\'stheboy，isit?\'saidtheundertaker:raisingthecandleabovehishead，togetabetterviewofOliver。\'Mrs。
Sowerberry，willyouhavethegoodnesstocomehereamoment，mydear?\'
Mrs。Sowerberryemergedfromalittleroombehindtheshop，andpresentedtheformofashort，then，squeezed-upwoman，withavixenishcountenance。
\'Mydear，\'saidMr。Sowerberry，deferentially，\'thisistheboyfromtheworkhousethatItoldyouof。\'Oliverbowedagain。
\'Dearme！\'saidtheundertaker\'swife，\'he\'sverysmall。\'
\'Why，heISrathersmall，\'repliedMr。Bumble:lookingatOliverasifitwerehisfaultthathewasnobigger；\'heissmall。
There\'snodenyingit。Buthe\'llgrow，Mrs。Sowerberry——he\'llgrow。\'
\'Ah！Idaresayhewill，\'repliedtheladypettishly，\'onourvictualsandourdrink。Iseenosavinginparishchildren，notI；fortheyalwayscostmoretokeep，thanthey\'reworth。