“ThebarebranchesagainsttheskydoonesomuchGOOD,“Mrs。Sealasserted,lookingoutintotheSquare。
“Butonecan\'tlunchofftrees,Sally,“saidMary。
“IconfessIdon\'tknowhowyoumanageit,MissDatchet,“Mr。Clactonremarked。“Ishouldsleepalltheafternoon,Iknow,ifItookaheavymealinthemiddleoftheday。“
“What\'stheverylatestthinginliterature?“Maryasked,good-
humoredlypointingtotheyellow-coveredvolumebeneathMr。Clacton\'sarm,forheinvariablyreadsomenewFrenchauthoratlunch-time,orsqueezedinavisittoapicturegallery,balancinghissocialworkwithanardentcultureofwhichhewassecretlyproud,asMaryhadverysoondivined。
SotheypartedandMarywalkedaway,wonderingiftheyguessedthatshereallywantedtogetawayfromthem,andsupposingthattheyhadnotquitereachedthatdegreeofsubtlety。Sheboughtherselfaneveningpaper,whichshereadassheate,lookingoverthetopofitagainandagainatthequeerpeoplewhowerebuyingcakesorimpartingtheirsecrets,untilsomeyoungwomanwhomsheknewcamein,andshecalledout,“Eleanor,comeandsitbyme,“andtheyfinishedtheirlunchtogether,partingonthestripofpavementamongthedifferentlinesoftrafficwithapleasantfeelingthattheyweresteppingoncemoreintotheirseparateplacesinthegreatandeternallymovingpatternofhumanlife。
But,insteadofgoingstraightbacktotheofficeto-day,MaryturnedintotheBritishMuseum,andstrolleddownthegallerywiththeshapesofstoneuntilshefoundanemptyseatdirectlybeneaththegazeoftheElginmarbles。Shelookedatthem,andseemed,asusual,borneuponsomewaveofexaltationandemotion,bywhichherlifeatoncebecamesolemnandbeautiful——animpressionwhichwasdueasmuch,perhaps,tothesolitudeandchillandsilenceofthegalleryastotheactualbeautyofthestatues。Onemustsuppose,atleast,thatheremotionswerenotpurelyesthetic,because,aftershehadgazedattheUlyssesforaminuteortwo,shebegantothinkaboutRalphDenham。Sosecuredidshefeelwiththesesilentshapesthatshealmostyieldedtoanimpulsetosay“Iaminlovewithyou“aloud。Thepresenceofthisimmenseandenduringbeautymadeheralmostalarminglyconsciousofherdesire,andatthesametimeproudofafeelingwhichdidnotdisplayanythinglikethesameproportionswhenshewasgoingaboutherdailywork。
Sherepressedherimpulsetospeakaloud,androseandwanderedaboutratheraimlesslyamongthestatuesuntilshefoundherselfinanothergallerydevotedtoengravedobelisksandwingedAssyrianbulls,andheremotiontookanotherturn。ShebegantopictureherselftravelingwithRalphinalandwherethesemonsterswerecouchantinthesand。
“For,“shethoughttoherself,asshegazedfixedlyatsomeinformationprintedbehindapieceofglass,“thewonderfulthingaboutyouisthatyou\'rereadyforanything;you\'renotintheleastconventional,likemostclevermen。“
Andsheconjuredupasceneofherselfonacamel\'sback,inthedesert,whileRalphcommandedawholetribeofnatives。
“Thatiswhatyoucando,“shewenton,movingontothenextstatue。
“Youalwaysmakepeopledowhatyouwant。“
Aglowspreadoverherspirit,andfilledhereyeswithbrightness。
Nevertheless,beforeshelefttheMuseumshewasveryfarfromsaying,evenintheprivacyofherownmind,“Iaminlovewithyou,“andthatsentencemightverywellneverhaveframeditself。Shewas,indeed,ratherannoyedwithherselfforhavingallowedsuchanill-consideredbreachofherreserve,weakeningherpowersofresistance,shefelt,shouldthisimpulsereturnagain。For,asshewalkedalongthestreettoheroffice,theforceofallhercustomaryobjectionstobeinginlovewithanyoneovercameher。Shedidnotwanttomarryatall。Itseemedtoherthattherewassomethingamateurishinbringingloveintotouchwithaperfectlystraightforwardfriendship,suchasherswaswithRalph,which,fortwoyearsnow,hadbaseditselfuponcommoninterestsinimpersonaltopics,suchasthehousingofthepoor,orthetaxationoflandvalues。
Buttheafternoonspiritdifferedintrinsicallyfromthemorningspirit。Maryfoundherselfwatchingtheflightofabird,ormakingdrawingsofthebranchesoftheplane-treesuponherblotting-paper。
PeoplecameintoseeMr。Clactononbusiness,andaseductivesmellofcigarettesmokeissuedfromhisroom。Mrs。Sealwanderedaboutwithnewspapercuttings,whichseemedtohereither“quitesplendid“or“reallytoobadforwords。“Sheusedtopastetheseintobooks,orsendthemtoherfriends,havingfirstdrawnabroadbarinbluepencildownthemargin,aproceedingwhichsignifiedequallyandindistinguishablythedepthsofherreprobationortheheightsofherapproval。
Aboutfouro\'clockonthatsameafternoonKatharineHilberywaswalkingupKingsway。Thequestionofteapresenteditself。Thestreetlampswerebeinglitalready,andasshestoodstillforamomentbeneathoneofthem,shetriedtothinkofsomeneighboringdrawing-roomwheretherewouldbefirelightandtalkcongenialtohermood。Thatmood,owingtothespinningtrafficandtheeveningveilofunreality,wasill-adaptedtoherhomesurroundings。Perhaps,onthewhole,ashopwasthebestplaceinwhichtopreservethisqueersenseofheightenedexistence。Atthesametimeshewishedtotalk。
RememberingMaryDatchetandherrepeatedinvitations,shecrossedtheroad,turnedintoRussellSquare,andpeeredabout,seekingfornumberswithasenseofadventurethatwasoutofallproportiontothedeeditself。Shefoundherselfinadimlylightedhall,unguardedbyaporter,andpushedopenthefirstswingdoor。Buttheoffice-boyhadneverheardofMissDatchet。DidshebelongtotheS。R。F。R。?
Katharineshookherheadwithasmileofdismay。Avoicefromwithinshouted,“No。TheS。G。S——topfloor。“
Katharinemountedpastinnumerableglassdoors,withinitialsonthem,andbecamesteadilymoreandmoredoubtfulofthewisdomofherventure。Atthetopshepausedforamomenttobreatheandcollectherself。Sheheardthetypewriterandformalprofessionalvoicesinside,notbelonging,shethought,toanyoneshehadeverspokento。
Shetouchedthebell,andthedoorwasopenedalmostimmediatelybyMaryherself。HerfacehadtochangeitsexpressionentirelywhenshesawKatharine。
“You!“sheexclaimed。“Wethoughtyouweretheprinter。“Stillholdingthedooropen,shecalledback,“No,Mr。Clacton,it\'snotPenningtons。Ishouldringthemupagain——doublethreedoubleeight,Central。Well,thisisasurprise。Comein,“sheadded。“You\'rejustintimefortea。“
ThelightofreliefshoneinMary\'seyes。Theboredomoftheafternoonwasdissipatedatonce,andshewasgladthatKatharinehadfoundtheminamomentarypressofactivity,owingtothefailureoftheprintertosendbackcertainproofs。
TheunshadedelectriclightshininguponthetablecoveredwithpapersdazedKatharineforamoment。Aftertheconfusionofhertwilightwalk,andherrandomthoughts,lifeinthissmallroomappearedextremelyconcentratedandbright。Sheturnedinstinctivelytolookoutofthewindow,whichwasuncurtained,butMaryimmediatelyrecalledher。
“Itwasverycleverofyoutofindyourway,“shesaid,andKatharinewondered,asshestoodthere,feeling,forthemoment,entirelydetachedandunabsorbed,whyshehadcome。Shelooked,indeed,toMary\'seyesstrangelyoutofplaceintheoffice。Herfigureinthelongcloak,whichtookdeepfolds,andherface,whichwascomposedintoamaskofsensitiveapprehension,disturbedMaryforamomentwithasenseofthepresenceofsomeonewhowasofanotherworld,and,therefore,subversiveofherworld。ShebecameimmediatelyanxiousthatKatharineshouldbeimpressedbytheimportanceofherworld,andhopedthatneitherMrs。SealnorMr。Clactonwouldappearuntiltheimpressionofimportancehadbeenreceived。Butinthisshewasdisappointed。Mrs。Sealburstintotheroomholdingakettleinherhand,whichshesetuponthestove,andthen,withinefficienthaste,shesetlighttothegas,whichflaredup,exploded,andwentout。
“Alwaystheway,alwaystheway,“shemuttered。“KitMarkhamistheonlypersonwhoknowshowtodealwiththething。“
Maryhadtogotoherhelp,andtogethertheyspreadthetable,andapologizedforthedisparitybetweenthecupsandtheplainnessofthefood。
“IfwehadknownMissHilberywascoming,weshouldhaveboughtacake,“saidMary,uponwhichMrs。SeallookedatKatharineforthefirsttime,suspiciously,becauseshewasapersonwhoneededcake。
HereMr。Clactonopenedthedoor,andcamein,holdingatypewrittenletterinhishand,whichhewasreadingaloud。
“Salford\'saffiliated,“hesaid。
“Welldone,Salford!“Mrs。Sealexclaimedenthusiastically,thumpingtheteapotwhichshehelduponthetable,intokenofapplause。
“Yes,theseprovincialcentersseemtobecomingintolineatlast,“
saidMr。Clacton,andthenMaryintroducedhimtoMissHilbery,andheaskedher,inaveryformalmanner,ifshewereinterested“inourwork。“
“Andtheproofsstillnotcome?“saidMrs。Seal,puttingbothherelbowsonthetable,andproppingherchinonherhands,asMarybegantopourouttea。“It\'stoobad——toobad。Atthisrateweshallmissthecountrypost。Whichremindsme,Mr。Clacton,don\'tyouthinkweshouldcircularizetheprovinceswithPartridge\'slastspeech?What?
You\'venotreadit?Oh,it\'sthebestthingthey\'vehadintheHousethisSession。EventhePrimeMinister——“
ButMarycuthershort。
“Wedon\'tallowshopattea,Sally,“shesaidfirmly。“Wefineherapennyeachtimesheforgets,andthefinesgotobuyingaplumcake,“
sheexplained,seekingtodrawKatharineintothecommunity。Shehadgivenupallhopeofimpressingher。
“I\'msorry,I\'msorry,“Mrs。Sealapologized。“It\'smymisfortunetobeanenthusiast,“shesaid,turningtoKatharine。“Myfather\'sdaughtercouldhardlybeanythingelse。IthinkI\'vebeenonasmanycommitteesasmostpeople。WaifsandStrays,RescueWork,ChurchWork,C。O。S——localbranch——besidestheusualcivicdutieswhichfalltooneasahouseholder。ButI\'vegiventhemallupforourworkhere,andIdon\'tregretitforasecond,“sheadded。“Thisistherootquestion,Ifeel;untilwomenhavevotes——“
“It\'llbesixpence,atleast,Sally,“saidMary,bringingherfistdownonthetable。“Andwe\'reallsicktodeathofwomenandtheirvotes。“
Mrs。Seallookedforamomentasthoughshecouldhardlybelieveherears,andmadeadeprecating“tut-tut-tut“inherthroat,lookingalternatelyatKatharineandMary,andshakingherheadasshedidso。
Thensheremarked,ratherconfidentiallytoKatharine,withalittlenodinMary\'sdirection:
“She\'sdoingmoreforthecausethananyofus。She\'sgivingheryouth——for,alas!whenIwasyoungthereweredomesticcircumstances——“shesighed,andstoppedshort。
Mr。Clactonhastilyrevertedtothejokeaboutluncheon,andexplainedhowMrs。Sealfedonabagofbiscuitsunderthetrees,whatevertheweathermightbe,rather,Katharinethought,asthoughMrs。Sealwereapetdogwhohadconvenienttricks。
“Yes,Itookmylittlebagintothesquare,“saidMrs。Seal,withtheself-consciousguiltofachildowningsomefaulttoitselders。“Itwasreallyverysustaining,andthebareboughsagainsttheskydoonesomuchGOOD。ButIshallhavetogiveupgoingintothesquare,“sheproceeded,wrinklingherforehead。“Theinjusticeofit!WhyshouldI
haveabeautifulsquarealltomyself,whenpoorwomenwhoneedresthavenowhereatalltosit?“ShelookedfiercelyatKatharine,givinghershortlocksalittleshake。“It\'sdreadfulwhatatyrantonestillis,inspiteofallone\'sefforts。Onetriestoleadadecentlife,butonecan\'t。Ofcourse,directlyonethinksofit,oneseesthatALL
squaresshouldbeopentoEVERYONE。Isthereanysocietywiththatobject,Mr。Clacton?Ifnot,thereshouldbe,surely。“
“Amostexcellentobject,“saidMr。Clactoninhisprofessionalmanner。“Atthesametime,onemustdeploretheramificationoforganizations,Mrs。Seal。Somuchexcellenteffortthrownaway,nottospeakofpounds,shillings,andpence。NowhowmanyorganizationsofaphilanthropicnaturedoyousupposethereareintheCityofLondonitself,MissHilbery?“headded,screwinghismouthintoaqueerlittlesmile,asiftoshowthatthequestionhaditsfrivolousside。
Katharinesmiled,too。Herunlikenesstotherestofthemhad,bythistime,penetratedtoMr。Clacton,whowasnotnaturallyobservant,andhewaswonderingwhoshewas;thissameunlikenesshadsubtlystimulatedMrs。Sealtotryandmakeaconvertofher。Mary,too,lookedatheralmostasifshebeggedhertomakethingseasy。ForKatharinehadshownnodispositiontomakethingseasy。Shehadscarcelyspoken,andhersilence,thoughgraveandeventhoughtful,seemedtoMarythesilenceofonewhocriticizes。
“Well,therearemoreinthishousethanI\'danynotionof,“shesaid。
“Onthegroundflooryouprotectnatives,onthenextyouemigratewomenandtellpeopletoeatnuts——“
“Whydoyousaythat\'we\'dothesethings?“Maryinterposed,rathersharply。“We\'renotresponsibleforallthecrankswhochoosetolodgeinthesamehousewithus。“
Mr。Clactonclearedhisthroatandlookedateachoftheyoungladiesinturn。HewasagooddealstruckbytheappearanceandmannerofMissHilbery,whichseemedtohimtoplaceheramongthosecultivatedandluxuriouspeopleofwhomheusedtodream。Mary,ontheotherhand,wasmoreofhisownsort,andalittletoomuchinclinedtoorderhimabout。Hepickedupcrumbsofdrybiscuitandputthemintohismouthwithincrediblerapidity。
“Youdon\'tbelongtooursociety,then?“saidMrs。Seal。
“No,I\'mafraidIdon\'t,“saidKatharine,withsuchreadycandorthatMrs。Sealwasnonplussed,andstaredatherwithapuzzledexpression,asifshecouldnotclassifyheramongthevarietiesofhumanbeingsknowntoher。
“Butsurely“shebegan。
“Mrs。Sealisanenthusiastinthesematters,“saidMr。Clacton,almostapologetically。“Wehavetoremindhersometimesthatothershavearighttotheirviewseveniftheydifferfromourown……
“Punch“hasaveryfunnypicturethisweek,aboutaSuffragistandanagriculturallaborer。Haveyouseenthisweek\'s“Punch,“MissDatchet?“
Marylaughed,andsaid“No。“
Mr。Clactonthentoldthemthesubstanceofthejoke,which,however,dependedagooddealforitssuccessupontheexpressionwhichtheartisthadputintothepeople\'sfaces。Mrs。Sealsatallthetimeperfectlygrave。Directlyhehaddonespeakingsheburstout:
“Butsurely,ifyoucareaboutthewelfareofyoursexatall,youmustwishthemtohavethevote?“
“IneversaidIdidn\'twishthemtohavethevote,“Katharineprotested。
“Thenwhyaren\'tyouamemberofoursociety?“Mrs。Sealdemanded。
Katharinestirredherspoonroundandround,staredintotheswirlofthetea,andremainedsilent。Mr。Clacton,meanwhile,framedaquestionwhich,afteramoment\'shesitation,heputtoKatharine。
“Areyouinanywayrelated,Iwonder,tothepoetAlardyce?Hisdaughter,Ibelieve,marriedaMr。Hilbery。“
“Yes;I\'mthepoet\'sgranddaughter,“saidKatharine,withalittlesigh,afterapause;andforamomenttheywereallsilent。
“Thepoet\'sgranddaughter!“Mrs。Sealrepeated,halftoherself,withashakeofherhead,asifthatexplainedwhatwasotherwiseinexplicable。
ThelightkindledinMr。Clacton\'seye。
“Ah,indeed。Thatinterestsmeverymuch,“hesaid。“Ioweagreatdebttoyourgrandfather,MissHilbery。AtonetimeIcouldhaverepeatedthegreaterpartofhimbyheart。Butonegetsoutofthewayofreadingpoetry,unfortunately。Youdon\'trememberhim,Isuppose?“
AsharprapatthedoormadeKatharine\'sanswerinaudible。Mrs。Seallookedupwithrenewedhopeinhereyes,andexclaiming:
“Theproofsatlast!“rantoopenthedoor。“Oh,it\'sonlyMr。
Denham!“shecried,withoutanyattempttoconcealherdisappointment。
Ralph,Katharinesupposed,wasafrequentvisitor,fortheonlypersonhethoughtitnecessarytogreetwasherself,andMaryatonceexplainedthestrangefactofherbeingtherebysaying:
“Katharinehascometoseehowonerunsanoffice。“
Ralphfelthimselfstiffenuncomfortably,ashesaid:
“IhopeMaryhasn\'tpersuadedyouthatsheknowshowtorunanoffice?“
“What,doesn\'tshe?“saidKatharine,lookingfromonetotheother。
AttheseremarksMrs。Sealbegantoexhibitsignsofdiscomposure,whichdisplayedthemselvesbyatossingmovementofherhead,and,asRalphtookaletterfromhispocket,andplacedhisfingeruponacertainsentence,sheforestalledhimbyexclaiminginconfusion:
“Now,Iknowwhatyou\'regoingtosay,Mr。Denham!ButitwasthedayKitMarkhamwashere,andsheupsetsoneso——withherwonderfulvitality,alwaysthinkingofsomethingnewthatweoughttobedoingandaren\'t——andIwasconsciousatthetimethatmydatesweremixed。
IthadnothingtodowithMaryatall,Iassureyou。“
“MydearSally,don\'tapologize,“saidMary,laughing。“Menaresuchpedants——theydon\'tknowwhatthingsmatter,andwhatthingsdon\'t。“
“Now,Denham,speakupforoursex,“saidMr。Clactoninajocularmanner,indeed,butlikemostinsignificantmenhewasveryquicktoresentbeingfoundfaultwithbyawoman,inargumentwithwhomhewasfondofcallinghimself“amereman。“Hewished,however,toenterintoaliteraryconservationwithMissHilbery,andthusletthematterdrop。
“Doesn\'titseemstrangetoyou,MissHilbery,“hesaid,“thattheFrench,withalltheirwealthofillustriousnames,havenopoetwhocancomparewithyourgrandfather?Letmesee。There\'sChenierandHugoandAlfreddeMusset——wonderfulmen,but,atthesametime,there\'sarichness,afreshnessaboutAlardyce——“
Herethetelephonebellrang,andhehadtoabsenthimselfwithasmileandabowwhichsignifiedthat,althoughliteratureisdelightful,itisnotwork。Mrs。Sealroseatthesametime,butremainedhoveringoverthetable,deliveringherselfofatiradeagainstpartygovernment。“ForifIweretotellyouwhatIknowofback-stairsintrigue,andwhatcanbedonebythepowerofthepurse,youwouldn\'tcreditme,Mr。Denham,youwouldn\'t,indeed。WhichiswhyIfeelthattheonlyworkformyfather\'sdaughter——forhewasoneofthepioneers,Mr。Denham,andonhistombstoneIhadthatversefromthePsalmsput,aboutthesowersandtheseed……Andwhatwouldn\'tIgivethatheshouldbealivenow,seeingwhatwe\'regoingtosee——“
butreflectingthatthegloriesofthefuturedependedinpartupontheactivityofhertypewriter,shebobbedherhead,andhurriedbacktotheseclusionofherlittleroom,fromwhichimmediatelyissuedsoundsofenthusiastic,butobviouslyerratic,composition。
Marymadeitclearatonce,bystartingafreshtopicofgeneralinterest,thatthoughshesawthehumorofhercolleague,shedidnotintendtohaveherlaughedat。
“Thestandardofmoralityseemstomefrightfullylow,“sheobservedreflectively,pouringoutasecondcupoftea,“especiallyamongwomenwhoaren\'twelleducated。Theydon\'tseethatsmallthingsmatter,andthat\'swheretheleakagebegins,andthenwefindourselvesindifficulties——Iverynearlylostmytemperyesterday,“shewenton,lookingatRalphwithalittlesmile,asthoughheknewwhathappenedwhenshelosthertemper。“Itmakesmeveryangrywhenpeopletellmelies——doesn\'titmakeyouangry?“sheaskedKatharine。
“Butconsideringthateveryonetellslies,“Katharineremarked,lookingabouttheroomtoseewhereshehadputdownherumbrellaandherparcel,fortherewasanintimacyinthewayinwhichMaryandRalphaddressedeachotherwhichmadeherwishtoleavethem。Mary,ontheotherhand,wasanxious,superficiallyatleast,thatKatharineshouldstayandsofortifyherinherdeterminationnottobeinlovewithRalph。
Ralph,whileliftinghiscupfromhislipstothetable,hadmadeuphismindthatifMissHilberyleft,hewouldgowithher。
“Idon\'tthinkthatItelllies,andIdon\'tthinkthatRalphtellslies,doyou,Ralph?“Marycontinued。
Katharinelaughed,withmoregayety,asitseemedtoMary,thanshecouldproperlyaccountfor。Whatwasshelaughingat?Atthem,presumably。Katharinehadrisen,andwasglancinghitherandthither,atthepressesandthecupboards,andallthemachineryoftheoffice,asifsheincludedthemallinherrathermaliciousamusement,whichcausedMarytokeephereyesonherstraightlyandratherfiercely,asifshewereagay-plumed,mischievousbird,whomightlightonthetopmostboughandpickofftheruddiestcherry,withoutanywarning。
Twowomenlesslikeeachothercouldscarcelybeimagined,Ralphthought,lookingfromonetotheother。Nextmoment,hetoo,rose,andnoddingtoMary,asKatharinesaidgood-bye,openedthedoorforher,andfollowedherout。
Marysatstillandmadenoattempttopreventthemfromgoing。Forasecondortwoafterthedoorhadshutonthemhereyesrestedonthedoorwithastraightforwardfiercenessinwhich,foramoment,acertaindegreeofbewildermentseemedtoenter;but,afterabriefhesitation,sheputdownhercupandproceededtoclearawaythetea-things。
TheimpulsewhichhaddrivenRalphtotakethisactionwastheresultofaveryswiftlittlepieceofreasoning,andthus,perhaps,wasnotquitesomuchofanimpulseasitseemed。ItpassedthroughhismindthatifhemissedthischanceoftalkingtoKatharine,hewouldhavetofaceanenragedghost,whenhewasaloneinhisroomagain,demandinganexplanationofhiscowardlyindecision。Itwasbetter,onthewhole,toriskpresentdiscomfiturethantowasteaneveningbandyingexcusesandconstructingimpossiblesceneswiththisuncompromisingsectionofhimself。ForeversincehehadvisitedtheHilberyshehadbeenmuchatthemercyofaphantomKatharine,whocametohimwhenhesatalone,andansweredhimashewouldhaveheranswer,andwasalwaysbesidehimtocrownthosevaryingtriumphswhichweretransactedalmosteverynight,inimaginaryscenes,ashewalkedthroughthelamplitstreetshomefromtheoffice。TowalkwithKatharineinthefleshwouldeitherfeedthatphantomwithfreshfood,which,asallwhonourishdreamsareaware,isaprocessthatbecomesnecessaryfromtimetotime,orrefineittosuchadegreeofthinnessthatitwasscarcelyserviceableanylonger;andthat,too,issometimesawelcomechangetoadreamer。AndallthetimeRalphwaswellawarethatthebulkofKatharinewasnotrepresentedinhisdreamsatall,sothatwhenhemetherhewasbewilderedbythefactthatshehadnothingtodowithhisdreamofher。
When,onreachingthestreet,KatharinefoundthatMr。Denhamproceededtokeeppacebyherside,shewassurprisedand,perhaps,alittleannoyed。She,too,hadhermarginofimagination,andto-nightheractivityinthisobscureregionofthemindrequiredsolitude。Ifshehadhadherway,shewouldhavewalkedveryfastdowntheTottenhamCourtRoad,andthensprungintoacabandracedswiftlyhome。Theviewshehadhadoftheinsideofanofficewasofthenatureofadreamtoher。Shutoffupthere,shecomparedMrs。Seal,andMaryDatchet,andMr。Clactontoenchantedpeopleinabewitchedtower,withthespiders\'websloopingacrossthecornersoftheroom,andallthetoolsofthenecromancer\'scraftathand;forsoaloofandunrealandapartfromthenormalworlddidtheyseemtoher,inthehouseofinnumerabletypewriters,murmuringtheirincantationsandconcoctingtheirdrugs,andflingingtheirfrailspiders\'websoverthetorrentoflifewhichrusheddownthestreetsoutside。
Shemayhavebeenconsciousthattherewassomeexaggerationinthisfancyofhers,forshecertainlydidnotwishtoshareitwithRalph。
Tohim,shesupposed,MaryDatchet,composingleafletsforCabinetMinistersamonghertypewriters,representedallthatwasinterestingandgenuine;and,accordingly,sheshutthembothoutfromallshareinthecrowdedstreet,withitspendantnecklaceoflamps,itslightedwindows,anditsthrongofmenandwomen,whichexhilaratedhertosuchanextentthatsheverynearlyforgothercompanion。Shewalkedveryfast,andtheeffectofpeoplepassingintheoppositedirectionwastoproduceaqueerdizzinessbothinherheadandinRalph\'s,whichsettheirbodiesfarapart。Butshedidherdutybyhercompanionalmostunconsciously。
“MaryDatchetdoesthatsortofworkverywell……She\'sresponsibleforit,Isuppose?“
“Yes。Theothersdon\'thelpatall……Hasshemadeaconvertofyou?“
“Ohno。Thatis,I\'maconvertalready。“
“Butshehasn\'tpersuadedyoutoworkforthem?“
“Ohdearno——thatwouldn\'tdoatall。“
SotheywalkedondowntheTottenhamCourtRoad,partingandcomingtogetheragain,andRalphfeltmuchasthoughhewereaddressingthesummitofapoplarinahighgaleofwind。
“Supposewegetontothatomnibus?“hesuggested。
Katharineacquiesced,andtheyclimbedup,andfoundthemselvesaloneontopofit。
“Butwhichwayareyougoing?“Katharineasked,wakingalittlefromthetranceintowhichmovementamongmovingthingshadthrownher。
“I\'mgoingtotheTemple,“Ralphreplied,inventingadestinationonthespurofthemoment。Hefeltthechangecomeoverherastheysatdownandtheomnibusbegantomoveforward。Heimaginedhercontemplatingtheavenueinfrontofthemwiththosehonestsadeyeswhichseemedtosethimatsuchadistancefromthem。Butthebreezewasblowingintheirfaces;itliftedherhatforasecond,andshedrewoutapinandstuckitinagain,——alittleactionwhichseemed,forsomereason,tomakeherrathermorefallible。Ah,ifonlyherhatwouldblowoff,andleaveheraltogetherdisheveled,acceptingitfromhishands!
“ThisislikeVenice,“sheobserved,raisingherhand。“Themotor-
cars,Imean,shootingaboutsoquickly,withtheirlights。“
“I\'veneverseenVenice,“hereplied。“Ikeepthatandsomeotherthingsformyoldage。“
“Whataretheotherthings?“sheasked。
“There\'sVeniceandIndiaand,Ithink,Dante,too。“
Shelaughed。
“Thinkofprovidingforone\'soldage!AndwouldyourefusetoseeVeniceifyouhadthechance?“
Insteadofansweringher,hewonderedwhetherheshouldtellhersomethingthatwasquitetrueabouthimself;andashewondered,hetoldher。
“I\'veplannedoutmylifeinsectionseversinceIwasachild,tomakeitlastlonger。Yousee,I\'malwaysafraidthatI\'mmissingsomething——“
“AndsoamI!“Katharineexclaimed。“But,afterall,“sheadded,“whyshouldyoumissanything?“
“Why?BecauseI\'mpoor,foronething,“Ralphrejoined。“You,I
suppose,canhaveVeniceandIndiaandDanteeverydayofyourlife。“
Shesaidnothingforamoment,butrestedonehand,whichwasbareofglove,upontherailinfrontofher,meditatinguponavarietyofthings,ofwhichonewasthatthisstrangeyoungmanpronouncedDanteasshewasusedtohearingitpronounced,andanother,thathehad,mostunexpectedly,afeelingaboutlifethatwasfamiliartoher。
Perhaps,then,hewasthesortofpersonshemighttakeaninterestin,ifshecametoknowhimbetter,andasshehadplacedhimamongthosewhomshewouldneverwanttoknowbetter,thiswasenoughtomakehersilent。Shehastilyrecalledherfirstviewofhim,inthelittleroomwheretherelicswerekept,andranabarthroughhalfherimpressions,asonecancelsabadlywrittensentence,havingfoundtherightone。
“Buttoknowthatonemighthavethingsdoesn\'talterthefactthatonehasn\'tgotthem,“shesaid,insomeconfusion。“HowcouldIgotoIndia,forexample?Besides,“shebeganimpulsively,andstoppedherself。Heretheconductorcameround,andinterruptedthem。Ralphwaitedforhertoresumehersentence,butshesaidnomore。
“Ihaveamessagetogiveyourfather,“heremarked。“Perhapsyouwouldgiveithim,orIcouldcome——“
“Yes,docome,“Katharinereplied。
“Still,Idon\'tseewhyyoushouldn\'tgotoIndia,“Ralphbegan,inordertokeepherfromrising,asshethreatenedtodo。
Butshegotupinspiteofhim,andsaidgood-byewithherusualairofdecision,andlefthimwithaquicknesswhichRalphconnectednowwithallhermovements。Helookeddownandsawherstandingonthepavementedge,analert,commandingfigure,whichwaiteditsseasontocross,andthenwalkedboldlyandswiftlytotheotherside。Thatgestureandactionwouldbeaddedtothepicturehehadofher,butatpresenttherealwomancompletelyroutedthephantomone。
CHAPTERVII
AndlittleAugustusPelhamsaidtome,\'It\'stheyoungergenerationknockingatthedoor,\'andIsaidtohim,\'Oh,buttheyoungergenerationcomesinwithoutknocking,Mr。Pelham。\'Suchafeeblelittlejoke,wasn\'tit,butdownitwentintohisnotebookallthesame。“
“Letuscongratulateourselvesthatweshallbeinthegravebeforethatworkispublished,“saidMr。Hilbery。
Theelderlycouplewerewaitingforthedinner-belltoringandfortheirdaughtertocomeintotheroom。Theirarm-chairsweredrawnuponeithersideofthefire,andeachsatinthesameslightlycrouchedposition,lookingintothecoals,withtheexpressionsofpeoplewhohavehadtheirshareofexperiencesandwait,ratherpassively,forsomethingtohappen。Mr。Hilberynowgaveallhisattentiontoapieceofcoalwhichhadfallenoutofthegrate,andtoselectingafavorablepositionforitamongthelumpsthatwereburningalready。
Mrs。Hilberywatchedhiminsilence,andthesmilechangedonherlipsasifhermindstillplayedwiththeeventsoftheafternoon。
WhenMr。Hilberyhadaccomplishedhistask,heresumedhiscrouchingpositionagain,andbegantotoywiththelittlegreenstoneattachedtohiswatch-chain。Hisdeep,oval-shapedeyeswerefixedupontheflames,butbehindthesuperficialglazeseemedtobroodanobservantandwhimsicalspirit,whichkeptthebrownoftheeyestillunusuallyvivid。Butalookofindolence,theresultofskepticismorofatastetoofastidioustobesatisfiedbytheprizesandconclusionssoeasilywithinhisgrasp,lenthimanexpressionalmostofmelancholy。Aftersittingthusforatime,heseemedtoreachsomepointinhisthinkingwhichdemonstrateditsfutility,uponwhichhesighedandstretchedhishandforabooklyingonthetablebyhisside。
Directlythedooropenedheclosedthebook,andtheeyesoffatherandmotherbothrestedonKatharineasshecametowardsthem。Thesightseemedatoncetogivethemamotivewhichtheyhadnothadbefore。Tothemsheappeared,asshewalkedtowardstheminherlighteveningdress,extremelyyoung,andthesightofherrefreshedthem,wereitonlybecauseheryouthandignorancemadetheirknowledgeoftheworldofsomevalue。
“Theonlyexcuseforyou,Katharine,isthatdinnerisstilllaterthanyouare,“saidMr。Hilbery,puttingdownhisspectacles。
“Idon\'tmindherbeinglatewhentheresultissocharming,“saidMrs。Hilbery,lookingwithprideatherdaughter。“Still,Idon\'tknowthatILIKEyourbeingoutsolate,Katharine,“shecontinued。“Youtookacab,Ihope?“
Heredinnerwasannounced,andMr。Hilberyformallyledhiswifedownstairsonhisarm。Theywerealldressedfordinner,and,indeed,theprettinessofthedinner-tablemeritedthatcompliment。Therewasnoclothuponthetable,andthechinamaderegularcirclesofdeepblueupontheshiningbrownwood。Inthemiddletherewasabowloftawnyredandyellowchrysanthemums,andoneofpurewhite,sofreshthatthenarrowpetalswerecurvedbackwardsintoafirmwhiteball。
FromthesurroundingwallstheheadsofthreefamousVictorianwriterssurveyedthisentertainment,andslipsofpaperpastedbeneaththemtestifiedinthegreatman\'sownhandwritingthathewasyourssincerelyoraffectionatelyorforever。Thefatheranddaughterwouldhavebeenquitecontent,apparently,toeattheirdinnerinsilence,orwithafewcrypticremarksexpressedinashorthandwhichcouldnotbeunderstoodbytheservants。ButsilencedepressedMrs。Hilbery,andfarfrommindingthepresenceofmaids,shewouldoftenaddressherselftothem,andwasneveraltogetherunconsciousoftheirapprovalordisapprovalofherremarks。Inthefirstplaceshecalledthemtowitnessthattheroomwasdarkerthanusual,andhadallthelightsturnedon。
“That\'smorecheerful,“sheexclaimed。“D\'youknow,Katharine,thatridiculousgoosecametoteawithme?Oh,howIwantedyou!Hetriedtomakeepigramsallthetime,andIgotsonervous,expectingthem,youknow,thatIspiltthetea——andhemadeanepigramaboutthat!“
“Whichridiculousgoose?“Katharineaskedherfather。
“Onlyoneofmygeese,happily,makesepigrams——AugustusPelham,ofcourse,“saidMrs。Hilbery。
“I\'mnotsorrythatIwasout,“saidKatharine。
“PoorAugustus!“Mrs。Hilberyexclaimed。“Butwe\'realltoohardonhim。Rememberhowdevotedheistohistiresomeoldmother。“
“That\'sonlybecausesheishismother。Anyoneconnectedwithhimself——“
“No,no,Katharine——that\'stoobad。That\'s——what\'sthewordImean,Trevor,somethinglongandLatin——thesortofwordyouandKatharineknow——“
Mr。Hilberysuggested“cynical。“
“Well,that\'lldo。Idon\'tbelieveinsendinggirlstocollege,butI
shouldteachthemthatsortofthing。Itmakesonefeelsodignified,bringingouttheselittleallusions,andpassingongracefullytothenexttopic。ButIdon\'tknowwhat\'scomeoverme——IactuallyhadtoaskAugustusthenameoftheladyHamletwasinlovewith,asyouwereout,Katharine,andHeavenknowswhathemayn\'tputdownaboutmeinhisdiary。“
“Iwish,“Katharinestarted,withgreatimpetuosity,andcheckedherself。Hermotheralwaysstirredhertofeelandthinkquickly,andthensherememberedthatherfatherwasthere,listeningwithattention。
“Whatisityouwish?“heasked,asshepaused。
Heoftensurprisedher,thus,intotellinghimwhatshehadnotmeanttotellhim;andthentheyargued,whileMrs。Hilberywentonwithherownthoughts。
“Iwishmotherwasn\'tfamous。Iwasoutattea,andtheywouldtalktomeaboutpoetry。“
“Thinkingyoumustbepoetical,Isee——andaren\'tyou?“
“Who\'sbeentalkingtoyouaboutpoetry,Katharine?“Mrs。Hilberydemanded,andKatharinewascommittedtogivingherparentsanaccountofhervisittotheSuffrageoffice。
“TheyhaveanofficeatthetopofoneoftheoldhousesinRussellSquare。Ineversawsuchqueer-lookingpeople。AndthemandiscoveredIwasrelatedtothepoet,andtalkedtomeaboutpoetry。EvenMaryDatchetseemsdifferentinthatatmosphere。“
“Yes,theofficeatmosphereisverybadforthesoul,“saidMr。
Hilbery。
“Idon\'trememberanyofficesinRussellSquareintheolddays,whenMammalivedthere,“Mrs。Hilberymused,“andIcan\'tfancyturningoneofthosenoblegreatroomsintoastuffylittleSuffrageoffice。
Still,iftheclerksreadpoetrytheremustbesomethingniceaboutthem。“
“No,becausetheydon\'treaditaswereadit,“Katharineinsisted。
“Butit\'snicetothinkofthemreadingyourgrandfather,andnotfillingupthosedreadfullittleformsalldaylong,“Mrs。Hilberypersisted,hernotionofofficelifebeingderivedfromsomechanceviewofascenebehindthecounteratherbank,assheslippedthesovereignsintoherpurse。
“Atanyrate,theyhaven\'tmadeaconvertofKatharine,whichwaswhatIwasafraidof,“Mr。Hilberyremarked。
“Ohno,“saidKatharineverydecidedly,“Iwouldn\'tworkwiththemforanything。“
“It\'scurious,“Mr。Hilberycontinued,agreeingwithhisdaughter,“howthesightofone\'sfellow-enthusiastsalwayschokesoneoff。Theyshowupthefaultsofone\'scausesomuchmoreplainlythanone\'santagonists。Onecanbeenthusiasticinone\'sstudy,butdirectlyonecomesintotouchwiththepeoplewhoagreewithone,alltheglamorgoes。SoI\'vealwaysfound,“andheproceededtotellthem,ashepeeledhisapple,howhecommittedhimselfonce,inhisyouthfuldays,tomakeaspeechatapoliticalmeeting,andwentthereablazewithenthusiasmfortheidealsofhisownside;butwhilehisleadersspoke,hebecamegraduallyconvertedtotheotherwayofthinking,ifthinkingitcouldbecalled,andhadtofeignillnessinordertoavoidmakingafoolofhimself——anexperiencewhichhadsickenedhimofpublicmeetings。
Katharinelistenedandfeltasshegenerallydidwhenherfather,andtosomeextenthermother,describedtheirfeelings,thatshequiteunderstoodandagreedwiththem,but,atthesametime,sawsomethingwhichtheydidnotsee,andalwaysfeltsomedisappointmentwhentheyfellshortofhervision,astheyalwaysdid。Theplatessucceededeachotherswiftlyandnoiselesslyinfrontofher,andthetablewasdeckedfordessert,andasthetalkmurmuredoninfamiliargrooves,shesatthere,ratherlikeajudge,listeningtoherparents,whodid,indeed,feelitverypleasantwhentheymadeherlaugh。
Dailylifeinahousewherethereareyoungandoldisfullofcuriouslittleceremoniesandpieties,whicharedischargedquitepunctually,thoughthemeaningofthemisobscure,andamysteryhascometobroodoverthemwhichlendsevenasuperstitiouscharmtotheirperformance。
Suchwasthenightlyceremonyofthecigarandtheglassofport,whichwereplacedontherighthandandonthelefthandofMr。
Hilbery,andsimultaneouslyMrs。HilberyandKatharinelefttheroom。
AlltheyearstheyhadlivedtogethertheyhadneverseenMr。Hilberysmokehiscigarordrinkhisport,andtheywouldhavefeltitunseemlyif,bychance,theyhadsurprisedhimashesatthere。Theseshort,butclearlymarked,periodsofseparationbetweenthesexeswerealwaysusedforanintimatepostscripttowhathadbeensaidatdinner,thesenseofbeingwomentogethercomingoutmoststronglywhenthemalesexwas,asifbysomereligiousrite,secludedfromthefemale。Katharineknewbyheartthesortofmoodthatpossessedherasshewalkedupstairstothedrawing-room,hermother\'sarminhers;andshecouldanticipatethepleasurewithwhich,whenshehadturnedonthelights,theybothregardedthedrawing-room,freshsweptandsetinorderforthelastsectionoftheday,withtheredparrotsswingingonthechintzcurtains,andthearm-chairswarmingintheblaze。Mrs。Hilberystoodoverthefire,withonefootonthefender,andherskirtsslightlyraised。
“Oh,Katharine,“sheexclaimed,“howyou\'vemademethinkofMammaandtheolddaysinRussellSquare!Icanseethechandeliers,andthegreensilkofthepiano,andMammasittinginhercashmereshawlbythewindow,singingtillthelittleragamuffinboysoutsidestoppedtolisten。Papasentmeinwithabunchofvioletswhilehewaitedroundthecorner。Itmusthavebeenasummerevening。Thatwasbeforethingswerehopeless……“
Asshespokeanexpressionofregret,whichmusthavecomefrequentlytocausethelineswhichnowgrewdeeproundthelipsandeyes,settledonherface。Thepoet\'smarriagehadnotbeenahappyone。Hehadlefthiswife,andaftersomeyearsofaratherrecklessexistence,shehaddied,beforehertime。Thisdisasterhadledtogreatirregularitiesofeducation,and,indeed,Mrs。Hilberymightbesaidtohaveescapededucationaltogether。Butshehadbeenherfather\'scompanionattheseasonwhenhewrotethefinestofhispoems。Shehadsatonhiskneeintavernsandotherhauntsofdrunkenpoets,anditwasforhersake,sopeoplesaid,thathehadcuredhimselfofhisdissipation,andbecometheirreproachableliterarycharacterthattheworldknows,whoseinspirationhaddesertedhim。AsMrs。Hilberygrewoldshethoughtmoreandmoreofthepast,andthisancientdisasterseemedattimesalmosttopreyuponhermind,asifshecouldnotpassoutoflifeherselfwithoutlayingtheghostofherparent\'ssorrowtorest。
Katharinewishedtocomforthermother,butitwasdifficulttodothissatisfactorilywhenthefactsthemselvesweresomuchofalegend。ThehouseinRussellSquare,forexample,withitsnoblerooms,andthemagnolia-treeinthegarden,andthesweet-voicedpiano,andthesoundoffeetcomingdownthecorridors,andotherpropertiesofsizeandromance——hadtheyanyexistence?YetwhyshouldMrs。Alardyceliveallaloneinthisgiganticmansion,and,ifshedidnotlivealone,withwhomdidshelive?Foritsownsake,Katharineratherlikedthistragicstory,andwouldhavebeengladtohearthedetailsofit,andtohavebeenabletodiscussthemfrankly。Butthisitbecamelessandlesspossibletodo,forthoughMrs。Hilberywasconstantlyrevertingtothestory,itwasalwaysinthistentativeandrestlessfashion,asthoughbyatouchhereandthereshecouldsetthingsstraightwhichhadbeencrookedthesesixtyyears。Perhaps,indeed,shenolongerknewwhatthetruthwas。
“Ifthey\'dlivednow,“sheconcluded,“Ifeelitwouldn\'thavehappened。Peoplearen\'tsosetupontragedyastheywerethen。Ifmyfatherhadbeenabletogoroundtheworld,orifshe\'dhadarestcure,everythingwouldhavecomeright。ButwhatcouldIdo?Andthentheyhadbadfriends,bothofthem,whomademischief。Ah,Katharine,whenyoumarry,bequite,quitesurethatyouloveyourhusband!“
ThetearsstoodinMrs。Hilbery\'seyes。
Whilecomfortingher,Katharinethoughttoherself,“NowthisiswhatMaryDatchetandMr。Denhamdon\'tunderstand。ThisisthesortofpositionI\'malwaysgettinginto。Howsimpleitmustbetoliveastheydo!“foralltheeveningshehadbeencomparingherhomeandherfatherandmotherwiththeSuffrageofficeandthepeoplethere。
“But,Katharine,“Mrs。Hilberycontinued,withoneofhersuddenchangesofmood,“though,Heavenknows,Idon\'twanttoseeyoumarried,surelyifeveramanlovedawoman,Williamlovesyou。Andit\'sanice,rich-soundingnametoo——KatharineRodney,which,unfortunately,doesn\'tmeanthathe\'sgotanymoney,becausehehasn\'t。“
ThealterationofhernameannoyedKatharine,andsheobserved,rathersharply,thatshedidn\'twanttomarryanyone。
“It\'sverydullthatyoucanonlymarryonehusband,certainly,“Mrs。
Hilberyreflected。“Ialwayswishthatyoucouldmarryeverybodywhowantstomarryyou。Perhapsthey\'llcometothatintime,butmeanwhileIconfessthatdearWilliam——“ButhereMr。Hilberycamein,andthemoresolidpartoftheeveningbegan。ThisconsistedinthereadingaloudbyKatharinefromsomeproseworkorother,whilehermotherknittedscarvesintermittentlyonalittlecircularframe,andherfatherreadthenewspaper,notsoattentivelybutthathecouldcommenthumorouslynowandagainuponthefortunesoftheheroandtheheroine。TheHilberyssubscribedtoalibrary,whichdeliveredbooksonTuesdaysandFridays,andKatharinedidherbesttointerestherparentsintheworksoflivingandhighlyrespectableauthors;butMrs。Hilberywasperturbedbytheverylookofthelight,gold-
wreathedvolumes,andwouldmakelittlefacesasifshetastedsomethingbitterasthereadingwenton;whileMr。Hilberywouldtreatthemodernswithacuriouselaboratebantersuchasonemightapplytotheanticsofapromisingchild。Sothisevening,afterfivepagesorsoofoneofthesemasters,Mrs。Hilberyprotestedthatitwasalltoocleverandcheapandnastyforwords。
“Please,Katharine,readussomethingREAL。“
Katharinehadtogotothebookcaseandchooseaportlyvolumeinsleek,yellowcalf,whichhaddirectlyasedativeeffectuponbothherparents。ButthedeliveryoftheeveningpostbrokeinupontheperiodsofHenryFielding,andKatharinefoundthatherlettersneededallherattention。
CHAPTERVIII
Shetookherlettersuptoherroomwithher,havingpersuadedhermothertogotobeddirectlyMr。Hilberyleftthem,forsolongasshesatinthesameroomashermother,Mrs。Hilberymight,atanymoment,askforasightofthepost。AveryhastyglancethroughmanysheetshadshownKatharinethat,bysomecoincidence,herattentionhadtobedirectedtomanydifferentanxietiessimultaneously。Inthefirstplace,Rodneyhadwrittenaveryfullaccountofhisstateofmind,whichwasillustratedbyasonnet,andhedemandedareconsiderationoftheirposition,whichagitatedKatharinemorethansheliked。Thenthereweretwoletterswhichhadtobelaidsidebysideandcomparedbeforeshecouldmakeoutthetruthoftheirstory,andevenwhensheknewthefactsshecouldnotdecidewhattomakeofthem;andfinallyshehadtoreflectuponagreatmanypagesfromacousinwhofoundhimselfinfinancialdifficulties,whichforcedhimtotheuncongenialoccupationofteachingtheyoungladiesofBungaytoplayupontheviolin。
Butthetwoletterswhicheachtoldthesamestorydifferentlywerethechiefsourceofherperplexity。Shewasreallyrathershockedtofinditdefinitelyestablishedthatherownsecondcousin,CyrilAlardyce,hadlivedforthelastfouryearswithawomanwhowasnothiswife,whohadbornehimtwochildren,andwasnowabouttobearhimanother。ThisstateofthingshadbeendiscoveredbyMrs。Milvain,herauntCelia,azealousinquirerintosuchmatters,whoseletterwasalsounderconsideration。Cyril,shesaid,mustbemadetomarrythewomanatonce;andCyril,rightlyorwrongly,wasindignantwithsuchinterferencewithhisaffairs,andwouldnotownthathehadanycausetobeashamedofhimself。Hadheanycausetobeashamedofhimself,Katharinewondered;andsheturnedtoherauntagain。
“Remember,“shewrote,inherprofuse,emphaticstatement,“thathebearsyourgrandfather\'sname,andsowillthechildthatistobeborn。Thepoorboyisnotsomuchtoblameasthewomanwhodeludedhim,thinkinghimagentleman,whichheIS,andhavingmoney,whichhehasNOT。“
“WhatwouldRalphDenhamsaytothis?“thoughtKatharine,beginningtopaceupanddownherbedroom。Shetwitchedasidethecurtains,sothat,onturning,shewasfacedbydarkness,andlookingout,couldjustdistinguishthebranchesofaplane-treeandtheyellowlightsofsomeoneelse\'swindows。
“WhatwouldMaryDatchetandRalphDenhamsay?“shereflected,pausingbythewindow,which,asthenightwaswarm,sheraised,inordertofeeltheairuponherface,andtoloseherselfinthenothingnessofnight。Butwiththeairthedistanthummingsoundoffar-offcrowdedthoroughfareswasadmittedtotheroom。Theincessantandtumultuoushumofthedistanttrafficseemed,asshestoodthere,torepresentthethicktextureofherlife,forherlifewassohemmedinwiththeprogressofotherlivesthatthesoundofitsownadvancewasinaudible。PeoplelikeRalphandMary,shethought,haditalltheirownway,andanemptyspacebeforethem,and,assheenviedthem,shecasthermindouttoimagineanemptylandwhereallthispettyintercourseofmenandwomen,thislifemadeupofthedensecrossingsandentanglementsofmenandwomen,hadnoexistencewhatever。Evennow,alone,atnight,lookingoutintotheshapelessmassofLondon,shewasforcedtorememberthattherewasonepointandhereanotherwithwhichshehadsomeconnection。WilliamRodney,atthisverymoment,wasseatedinaminutespeckoflightsomewheretotheeastofher,andhismindwasoccupied,notwithhisbook,butwithher。Shewishedthatnooneinthewholeworldwouldthinkofher。However,therewasnowayofescapingfromone\'sfellow-beings,sheconcluded,andshutthewindowwithasigh,andreturnedoncemoretoherletters。
ShecouldnotdoubtbutthatWilliam\'sletterwasthemostgenuineshehadyetreceivedfromhim。Hehadcometotheconclusionthathecouldnotlivewithouther,hewrote。Hebelievedthatheknewher,andcouldgiveherhappiness,andthattheirmarriagewouldbeunlikeothermarriages。Norwasthesonnet,inspiteofitsaccomplishment,lackinginpassion,andKatharine,asshereadthepagesthroughagain,couldseeinwhatdirectionherfeelingsoughttoflow,supposingtheyrevealedthemselves。Shewouldcometofeelahumoroussortoftendernessforhim,azealouscareforhissusceptibilities,and,afterall,sheconsidered,thinkingofherfatherandmother,whatislove?
Naturally,withherface,position,andbackground,shehadexperienceofyoungmenwhowishedtomarryher,andmadeprotestationsoflove,but,perhapsbecauseshedidnotreturnthefeeling,itremainedsomethingofapageanttoher。Nothavingexperienceofitherself,hermindhadunconsciouslyoccupieditselfforsomeyearsindressingupanimageoflove,andthemarriagethatwastheoutcomeoflove,andthemanwhoinspiredlove,whichnaturallydwarfedanyexamplesthatcameherway。Easily,andwithoutcorrectionbyreason,herimaginationmadepictures,superbbackgroundscastingarichthoughphantomlightuponthefactsintheforeground。Splendidasthewatersthatdropwithresoundingthunderfromhighledgesofrock,andplungedownwardsintothebluedepthsofnight,wasthepresenceofloveshedreamt,drawingintoiteverydropoftheforceoflife,anddashingthemallasunderinthesuperbcatastropheinwhicheverythingwassurrendered,andnothingmightbereclaimed。Theman,too,wassomemagnanimoushero,ridingagreathorsebytheshoreofthesea。Theyrodethroughforeststogether,theygallopedbytherimofthesea。
Butwaking,shewasabletocontemplateaperfectlylovelessmarriage,asthethingonedidactuallyinreallife,forpossiblythepeoplewhodreamthusarethosewhodothemostprosaicthings。
Atthismomentshewasmuchinclinedtositonintothenight,spinningherlightfabricofthoughtsuntilshetiredoftheirfutility,andwenttohermathematics;but,assheknewverywell,itwasnecessarythatsheshouldseeherfatherbeforehewenttobed。
ThecaseofCyrilAlardycemustbediscussed,hermother\'sillusionsandtherightsofthefamilyattendedto。Beingvagueherselfastowhatallthisamountedto,shehadtotakecounselwithherfather。
Shetookherlettersinherhandandwentdownstairs。Itwaspasteleven,andtheclockshadcomeintotheirreign,thegrandfather\'sclockinthehalltickingincompetitionwiththesmallclockonthelanding。Mr。Hilbery\'sstudyranoutbehindtherestofthehouse,onthegroundfloor,andwasaverysilent,subterraneanplace,thesunindaytimecastingamereabstractoflightthroughaskylightuponhisbooksandthelargetable,withitsspreadofwhitepapers,nowilluminedbyagreenreading-lamp。HereMr。Hilberysateditinghisreview,orplacingtogetherdocumentsbymeansofwhichitcouldbeprovedthatShelleyhadwritten“of“insteadof“and,“orthattheinninwhichByronhadsleptwascalledthe“Nag\'sHead“andnotthe“TurkishKnight,“orthattheChristiannameofKeats\'sunclehadbeenJohnratherthanRichard,forheknewmoreminutedetailsaboutthesepoetsthananymaninEngland,probably,andwaspreparinganeditionofShelleywhichscrupulouslyobservedthepoet\'ssystemofpunctuation。Hesawthehumoroftheseresearches,butthatdidnotpreventhimfromcarryingthemoutwiththeutmostscrupulosity。
Hewaslyingbackcomfortablyinadeeparm-chairsmokingacigar,andruminatingthefruitfulquestionastowhetherColeridgehadwishedtomarryDorothyWordsworth,andwhat,ifhehaddoneso,wouldhavebeentheconsequencestohiminparticular,andtoliteratureingeneral。
WhenKatharinecameinhereflectedthatheknewwhatshehadcomefor,andhemadeapencilnotebeforehespoketoher。Havingdonethis,hesawthatshewasreading,andhewatchedherforamomentwithoutsayinganything。Shewasreading“IsabellaandthePotofBasil,“andhermindwasfulloftheItalianhillsandthebluedaylight,andthehedgessetwithlittlerosettesofredandwhiteroses。Feelingthatherfatherwaitedforher,shesighedandsaid,shuttingherbook:
“I\'vehadaletterfromAuntCeliaaboutCyril,father……Itseemstobetrue——abouthismarriage。Whatarewetodo?“
“Cyrilseemstohavebeenbehavinginaveryfoolishmanner,“saidMr。
Hilbery,inhispleasantanddeliberatetones。
Katharinefoundsomedifficultyincarryingontheconversation,whileherfatherbalancedhisfinger-tipssojudiciously,andseemedtoreservesomanyofhisthoughtsforhimself。
“He\'saboutdoneforhimself,Ishouldsay,“hecontinued。Withoutsayinganything,hetookKatharine\'slettersoutofherhand,adjustedhiseyeglasses,andreadthemthrough。
Atlengthhesaid“Humph!“andgavethelettersbacktoher。
“Motherknowsnothingaboutit,“Katharineremarked。“Willyoutellher?“
“Ishalltellyourmother。ButIshalltellherthatthereisnothingwhateverforustodo。“
“Butthemarriage?“Katharineasked,withsomediffidence。
Mr。Hilberysaidnothing,andstaredintothefire。
“Whatinthenameofconsciencedidhedoitfor?“hespeculatedatlast,rathertohimselfthantoher。
Katharinehadbeguntoreadheraunt\'sletteroveragain,andshenowquotedasentence。“IbsenandButler……Hehassentmealetterfullofquotations——nonsense,thoughclevernonsense。“
“Well,iftheyoungergenerationwanttocarryonitslifeonthoselines,it\'snoneofouraffair,“heremarked。
“Butisn\'titouraffair,perhaps,tomakethemgetmarried?“
Katharineaskedratherwearily。
“Whythedickensshouldtheyapplytome?“herfatherdemandedwithsuddenirritation。
“Onlyastheheadofthefamily——“
“ButI\'mnottheheadofthefamily。Alfred\'stheheadofthefamily。
LetthemapplytoAlfred,“saidMr。Hilbery,relapsingagainintohisarm-chair。Katharinewasawarethatshehadtouchedasensitivespot,however,inmentioningthefamily。
“Ithink,perhaps,thebestthingwouldbeformetogoandseethem,“
sheobserved。
“Iwon\'thaveyougoinganywherenearthem,“Mr。Hilberyrepliedwithunwonteddecisionandauthority。“Indeed,Idon\'tunderstandwhythey\'vedraggedyouintothebusinessatall——Idon\'tseethatit\'sgotanythingtodowithyou。“
“I\'vealwaysbeenfriendswithCyril,“Katharineobserved。
“Butdidheevertellyouanythingaboutthis?“Mr。Hilberyaskedrathersharply。
Katharineshookherhead。Shewas,indeed,agooddealhurtthatCyrilhadnotconfidedinher——didhethink,asRalphDenhamorMaryDatchetmightthink,thatshewas,forsomereason,unsympathetic——hostileeven?
“Astoyourmother,“saidMr。Hilbery,afterapause,inwhichheseemedtobeconsideringthecoloroftheflames,“youhadbettertellherthefacts。She\'dbetterknowthefactsbeforeeveryonebeginstotalkaboutit,thoughwhyAuntCeliathinksitnecessarytocome,I\'msureIdon\'tknow。Andthelesstalkthereisthebetter。“
Grantingtheassumptionthatgentlemenofsixtywhoarehighlycultivated,andhavehadmuchexperienceoflife,probablythinkofmanythingswhichtheydonotsay,Katharinecouldnothelpfeelingratherpuzzledbyherfather\'sattitude,asshewentbacktoherroom。
Whatadistancehewasfromitall!Howsuperficiallyhesmoothedtheseeventsintoasemblanceofdecencywhichharmonizedwithhisownviewoflife!HeneverwonderedwhatCyrilhadfelt,nordidthehiddenaspectsofthecasetempthimtoexamineintothem。Hemerelyseemedtorealize,ratherlanguidly,thatCyrilhadbehavedinawaywhichwasfoolish,becauseotherpeopledidnotbehaveinthatway。Heseemedtobelookingthroughatelescopeatlittlefigureshundredsofmilesinthedistance。
HerselfishanxietynottohavetotellMrs。Hilberywhathadhappenedmadeherfollowherfatherintothehallafterbreakfastthenextmorninginordertoquestionhim。
“Haveyoutoldmother?“sheasked。Hermannertoherfatherwasalmoststern,andsheseemedtoholdendlessdepthsofreflectioninthedarkofhereyes。
Mr。Hilberysighed。
“Mydearchild,itwentoutofmyhead。“Hesmoothedhissilkhatenergetically,andatonceaffectedanairofhurry。“I\'llsendanoteroundfromtheoffice……I\'mlatethismorning,andI\'veanyamountofproofstogetthrough。“
“Thatwouldn\'tdoatall,“Katharinesaiddecidedly。“Shemustbetold——youorImusttellher。Weoughttohavetoldheratfirst。“
Mr。Hilberyhadnowplacedhishatonhishead,andhishandwasonthedoor-knob。AnexpressionwhichKatharineknewwellfromherchildhood,whenheaskedhertoshieldhiminsomeneglectofduty,cameintohiseyes;malice,humor,andirresponsibilitywereblendedinit。Henoddedhisheadtoandfrosignificantly,openedthedoorwithanadroitmovement,andsteppedoutwithalightnessunexpectedathisage。Hewavedhishandoncetohisdaughter,andwasgone。Leftalone,Katharinecouldnothelplaughingtofindherselfcheatedasusualindomesticbargainingswithherfather,andlefttodothedisagreeableworkwhichbelonged,byrights,tohim。
CHAPTERIX
KatharinedislikedtellinghermotheraboutCyril\'smisbehaviorquiteasmuchasherfatherdid,andformuchthesamereasons。Theybothshrank,nervously,aspeoplefearthereportofagunonthestage,fromallthatwouldhavetobesaidonthisoccasion。Katharine,moreover,wasunabletodecidewhatshethoughtofCyril\'smisbehavior。Asusual,shesawsomethingwhichherfatherandmotherdidnotsee,andtheeffectofthatsomethingwastosuspendCyril\'sbehaviorinhermindwithoutanyqualificationatall。Theywouldthinkwhetheritwasgoodorbad;toheritwasmerelyathingthathadhappened。
WhenKatharinereachedthestudy,Mrs。Hilberyhadalreadydippedherpenintheink。
“Katharine,“shesaid,liftingitintheair,“I\'vejustmadeoutsuchaqueer,strangethingaboutyourgrandfather。I\'mthreeyearsandsixmonthsolderthanhewaswhenhedied。Icouldn\'tverywellhavebeenhismother,butImighthavebeenhiseldersister,andthatseemstomesuchapleasantfancy。I\'mgoingtostartquitefreshthismorning,andgetalotdone。“
Shebeganhersentence,atanyrate,andKatharinesatdownatherowntable,untiedthebundleofoldlettersuponwhichshewasworking,smoothedthemoutabsent-mindedly,andbegantodecipherthefadedscript。Inaminuteshelookedacrossathermother,tojudgehermood。Peaceandhappinesshadrelaxedeverymuscleinherface;herlipswerepartedveryslightly,andherbreathcameinsmooth,controlledinspirationslikethoseofachildwhoissurroundingitselfwithabuildingofbricks,andincreasinginecstasyaseachbrickisplacedinposition。SoMrs。Hilberywasraisingroundhertheskiesandtreesofthepastwitheverystrokeofherpen,andrecallingthevoicesofthedead。Quietastheroomwas,andundisturbedbythesoundsofthepresentmoment,Katharinecouldfancythatherewasadeeppoolofpasttime,andthatsheandhermotherwerebathedinthelightofsixtyyearsago。Whatcouldthepresentgive,shewondered,tocomparewiththerichcrowdofgiftsbestowedbythepast?HerewasaThursdaymorninginprocessofmanufacture;
eachsecondwasmintedfreshbytheclockuponthemantelpiece。Shestrainedherearsandcouldjusthear,faroff,thehootofamotor-carandtherushofwheelscomingneareranddyingawayagain,andthevoicesofmencryingoldironandvegetablesinoneofthepoorerstreetsatthebackofthehouse。Rooms,ofcourse,accumulatetheirsuggestions,andanyroominwhichonehasbeenusedtocarryonanyparticularoccupationgivesoffmemoriesofmoods,ofideas,ofposturesthathavebeenseeninit;sothattoattemptanydifferentkindofworkthereisalmostimpossible。
Katharinewasunconsciouslyaffected,eachtimesheenteredhermother\'sroom,byalltheseinfluences,whichhadhadtheirbirthyearsago,whenshewasachild,andhadsomethingsweetandsolemnaboutthem,andconnectedthemselveswithearlymemoriesofthecavernousgloomsandsonorousechoesoftheAbbeywherehergrandfatherlayburied。Allthebooksandpictures,eventhechairsandtables,hadbelongedtohim,orhadreferencetohim;eventhechinadogsonthemantelpieceandthelittleshepherdesseswiththeirsheephadbeenboughtbyhimforapennyapiecefromamanwhousedtostandwithatrayoftoysinKensingtonHighStreet,asKatharinehadoftenheardhermothertell。Oftenshehadsatinthisroom,withhermindfixedsofirmlyonthosevanishedfiguresthatshecouldalmostseethemusclesroundtheireyesandlips,andhadgiventoeachhisownvoice,withitstricksofaccent,andhiscoatandhiscravat。Oftenshehadseemedtoherselftobemovingamongthem,aninvisibleghostamongtheliving,betteracquaintedwiththemthanwithherownfriends,becausesheknewtheirsecretsandpossessedadivineforeknowledgeoftheirdestiny。Theyhadbeensounhappy,suchmuddlers,sowrong-headed,itseemedtoher。Shecouldhavetoldthemwhattodo,andwhatnottodo。Itwasamelancholyfactthattheywouldpaynoheedtoher,andwereboundtocometogriefintheirownantiquatedway。Theirbehaviorwasoftengrotesquelyirrational;theirconventionsmonstrouslyabsurd;andyet,asshebroodeduponthem,shefeltsocloselyattachedtothemthatitwasuselesstotrytopassjudgmentuponthem。Sheverynearlylostconsciousnessthatshewasaseparatebeing,withafutureofherown。Onamorningofslightdepression,suchasthis,shewouldtrytofindsomesortofcluetothemuddlewhichtheiroldletterspresented;somereasonwhichseemedtomakeitworthwhiletothem;someaimwhichtheykeptsteadilyinview——butshewasinterrupted。
Mrs。Hilberyhadrisenfromhertable,andwasstandinglookingoutofthewindowatastringofbargesswimminguptheriver。
Katharinewatchedher。SuddenlyMrs。Hilberyturnedabruptly,andexclaimed:
“IreallybelieveI\'mbewitched!Ionlywantthreesentences,yousee,somethingquitestraightforwardandcommonplace,andIcan\'tfind\'em。“
Shebegantopaceupanddowntheroom,snatchingupherduster;butshewastoomuchannoyedtofindanyrelief,asyet,inpolishingthebacksofbooks。
“Besides,“shesaid,givingthesheetshehadwrittentoKatharine,“I
don\'tbelievethis\'lldo。DidyourgrandfatherevervisittheHebrides,Katharine?“Shelookedinastrangelybeseechingwayatherdaughter。“MymindgotrunningontheHebrides,andIcouldn\'thelpwritingalittledescriptionofthem。Perhapsitwoulddoatthebeginningofachapter。Chaptersoftenbeginquitedifferentlyfromthewaytheygoon,youknow。“Katharinereadwhathermotherhadwritten。Shemighthavebeenaschoolmastercriticizingachild\'sessay。HerfacegaveMrs。Hilbery,whowatcheditanxiously,nogroundforhope。
“It\'sverybeautiful,“shestated,“but,yousee,mother,weoughttogofrompointtopoint——“
“Oh,Iknow,“Mrs。Hilberyexclaimed。“Andthat\'sjustwhatIcan\'tdo。Thingskeepcomingintomyhead。Itisn\'tthatIdon\'tknoweverythingandfeeleverythingwhodidknowhim,ifIdidn\'t?,butI
can\'tputitdown,yousee。There\'sakindofblindspot,“shesaid,touchingherforehead,“there。AndwhenIcan\'tsleepo\'nights,I
fancyIshalldiewithouthavingdoneit。“
Fromexultationshehadpassedtothedepthsofdepressionwhichtheimaginationofherdeatharoused。ThedepressioncommunicateditselftoKatharine。Howimpotenttheywere,fiddlingaboutalldaylongwithpapers!Andtheclockwasstrikingelevenandnothingdone!Shewatchedhermother,nowrummaginginagreatbrass-boundboxwhichstoodbyhertable,butshedidnotgotoherhelp。Ofcourse,Katharinereflected,hermotherhadnowlostsomepaper,andtheywouldwastetherestofthemorninglookingforit。Shecasthereyesdowninirritation,andreadagainhermother\'smusicalsentencesaboutthesilvergulls,andtherootsoflittlepinkflowerswashedbypellucidstreams,andthebluemistsofhyacinths,untilshewasstruckbyhermother\'ssilence。Sheraisedhereyes。Mrs。Hilberyhademptiedaportfoliocontainingoldphotographsoverhertable,andwaslookingfromonetoanother。
“Surely,Katharine,“shesaid,“themenwerefarhandsomerinthosedaysthantheyarenow,inspiteoftheirodiouswhiskers?LookatoldJohnGraham,inhiswhitewaistcoat——lookatUncleHarley。That\'sPeterthemanservant,Isuppose。UncleJohnbroughthimbackfromIndia。“
Katharinelookedathermother,butdidnotstiroranswer。Shehadsuddenlybecomeveryangry,witharagewhichtheirrelationshipmadesilent,andthereforedoublypowerfulandcritical。Shefeltalltheunfairnessoftheclaimwhichhermothertacitlymadetohertimeandsympathy,andwhatMrs。Hilberytook,Katharinethoughtbitterly,shewasted。Then,inaflash,sherememberedthatshehadstilltotellheraboutCyril\'smisbehavior。Herangerimmediatelydissipateditself;itbrokelikesomewavethathasgathereditselfhighabovetherest;thewaterswereresumedintotheseaagain,andKatharinefeltoncemorefullofpeaceandsolicitude,andanxiousonlythathermothershouldbeprotectedfrompain。Shecrossedtheroominstinctively,andsatonthearmofhermother\'schair。Mrs。Hilberyleantherheadagainstherdaughter\'sbody。
“Whatisnobler,“shemused,turningoverthephotographs,“thantobeawomantowhomeveryoneturns,insorrowordifficulty?Howhavetheyoungwomenofyourgenerationimproveduponthat,Katharine?Icanseethemnow,sweepingoverthelawnsatMelburyHouse,intheirflouncesandfurbelows,socalmandstatelyandimperialandthemonkeyandthelittleblackdwarffollowingbehind,asifnothingmatteredintheworldbuttobebeautifulandkind。Buttheydidmorethanwedo,Isometimesthink。TheyWERE,andthat\'sbetterthandoing。Theyseemtomelikeships,likemajesticships,holdingontheirway,notshovingorpushing,notfrettedbylittlethings,asweare,buttakingtheirway,likeshipswithwhitesails。“
Katharinetriedtointerruptthisdiscourse,buttheopportunitydidnotcome,andshecouldnotforbeartoturnoverthepagesofthealbuminwhichtheoldphotographswerestored。Thefacesofthesemenandwomenshoneforthwonderfullyafterthehubbuboflivingfaces,andseemed,ashermotherhadsaid,towearamarvelousdignityandcalm,asiftheyhadruledtheirkingdomsjustlyanddeservedgreatlove。Somewereofalmostincrediblebeauty,otherswereuglyenoughinaforcibleway,butnoneweredullorboredorinsignificant。Thesuperbstifffoldsofthecrinolinessuitedthewomen;thecloaksandhatsofthegentlemenseemedfullofcharacter。OncemoreKatharinefeltthesereneairallroundher,andseemedfarofftohearthesolemnbeatingoftheseaupontheshore。Butsheknewthatshemustjointhepresentontothispast。
Mrs。Hilberywasramblingon,fromstorytostory。
“That\'sJanieMannering,“shesaid,pointingtoasuperb,white-haireddame,whosesatinrobesseemedstrungwithpearls。“ImusthavetoldyouhowshefoundhercookdrunkunderthekitchentablewhentheEmpresswascomingtodinner,andtuckeduphervelvetsleevesshealwaysdressedlikeanEmpressherself,cookedthewholemeal,andappearedinthedrawing-roomasifshe\'dbeensleepingonabankofrosesallday。Shecoulddoanythingwithherhands——theyallcould——
makeacottageorembroiderapetticoat。