Andyouarenothingbutaditch。
No，myfriend，Lucywilldrivewithyou，andtotalktoyou，andsingyoursongs；shewilltakecareofyou，andprayforyou，andcrywhenyougotothewar；ifsheisnotyourdaughteroryoursister，shewill，perhaps，inamomentofweaknessorinsanity，marryyou；shewillbeafaithfulwife，andfloatyoutotheend；butifyouwishtobeherlove，herhero，herideal，herdelight，herspontaneity，herutterrestandultimatum，youmustattuneyoursoultofineissues，——youmustbringouttheangelinyou，andkeepthebruteunder。
Itisnotthatyoushallstopmakingshoes，andbegintowritepoetry。Thatisjustasmuchdiscriminationasyouhave。Tellyoutobegentle，andyouthinkwewillhaveyoudissolveintomilk-and-water；tellyoutobepolite，andyouinferhypocrisy；
tobeneat，andyouleapoverintodandyism，fancyingallthewhilethatblusterismanliness。No，sir。Youmaymakeshoes，youmayrunengines，youmaycarrycoals；youmayblowthehuntsman\'shorn，hurlthebase-ball，followtheplough，smitetheanvil；yourfacemaybebrown，yourveinsknotted，yourhandsgrimed；andyetyoumaybeahero。And，ontheotherhand，youmaywriteversesandbeaclown。Itisnotnecessarytofeedonambrosiainordertobecomedivine；norshallonebeaccursed，thoughhedrinkoftheninefoldStyx。TheIsraelitesateangels\'foodinthewilderness，andremainedstiff-neckedanduncircumcisedinheartandears。Thewhitewater-lilyfeedsonslime，andunfoldsaheavenlyglory。ComeastheJunemorningcomes。Ithasnotpickeditswaydaintily，passingonlyamongtheroses。Ithasbreathedupthewholeearth。Ithasblownthroughthefieldsandbarnyardsandallthecommonplacesoftheland。Ithasshrunkfromnothing。
Itspurityhasbreastedandoverborneallthings，andsomingledandharmonizedallthatitsweepsaroundyourforeheadandsinksintoyourheartassoftandsweetandpureasthefragrancyofParadise。Socomeyou，roughfromtheworld\'sroughwork，allout-doorairsblowingaroundyou，andallyourearth-smellsclingingtoyou，butwithafineinwardgrace，sostrong，sosweet，sosalubriousthatitmeetsandmastersallthings，blendingeveryfaintestorfoulestodorofearthlinessintothegratefulincenseofapureandloftylife。
ThusIreadandmusedinthesoftsummerfog，andthefirstI
knewthecarshadstopped，Iwasstandingontheplatform，andCoventryandhisknightwere——where？WanderingupanddownsomewhereamongtheBerkshirehills。Atsomejunctionofroads，Isuppose，Ileftthemonthecushion，forIhaveneverbeheldthemsince。Tellme，OyedaughtersofBerkshire！haveyouseenthem，——aprincelypair，sorewearyinyourmountain-land，butregalstill，throughalltheirtravel-stain？Iprayyou，entreatthemhospitably，fortheirmissionis\"notofanage，butforalltime。\"
PARTII。
ThedescentfromPatmoreandpoetrytoNewYorkissomewhatabrupt，nottosayprecipitous，butwemadeitinsafety；andsoshallyou，ifyouwillbeagile。
NewYorkisapleasantlittleDutchcity，onadotofislandafewmilessouthwestofMassachusetts。Foracityentirelyunobtrusiveandunpretending，ithasreallygreatattractionsandsolidmerit；butthesuperiorimportanceofotherplaceswillnotpermitmetotarrylongwithinitshospitablewalls。
Infact，weonlyarrivedlateatnight，anddepartedearlythenextmorning；butevenasix-hourssojourngavemeasolemnand\"realizingsense\"ofitsmarkedworth，——for，when，tiredandlistless，Iaskedforaservanttoassistme，thewaitersaidhewouldsendthehousekeeper。Accordingly，when，afewmomentsafter，itknockedatthedoorwithlight，lightfinger，seeDelaMotteFouque，Idrawled，\"Comein，\"andtheQueenofShebastoodbeforeme，cladinpurpleandfinelinen，withringsonherfingersandbellsonhertoes。Istaredindismay，andperceivedmyselfrapidlytransmigratingintoaridiculusmus。Mygrayanddingytravelling-dressgrewabject，andburnedintomysoulliketunicofNessus。IshouldassoonhavethoughtofaskingQueenVictoriatobrushoutmyhairasthatfineladyinbrocadesilkandMechlinlace。Butshewasgoodandgracious，anddidnotannihilatemeonthespot，assheeasilyhavedone，forwhichIshallthankheraslongasIlive。
\"Yousentforme？\"sheinquired，withtheblandestaccentsimaginable。Ican\'ttellalie，pa，——youknowIcan\'ttellalie；besides，Ihadnottimetomakeupone，andIsaid，\"Yes，\"
andthen，ofallstupiddevicesthatcouldfilterintomybrain，ImustneedsstammeroutthatIshouldlikeafewmatches！Aprettythingtobringadowagerduchessupninepairsofstairsfor！
\"Iwillringthebell，\"shesaid，withatender，reproachfulsweetnessanddignity，whichconveyedwithoutunkindnesstheseverestrebuketemperedbywomanlypity，andproceededtoinstructmeinthenatureandusesofthebell-rope，asshewouldanylittledairy-maidwhohadheardonlythechimeofcow-bellsallthedaysofherlife。Thenshesailedoutoftheroom，sereneandmajestic，likeaseventy-fourman-of-war，whileI，asqualid，salt-haygunlow，Venetianblind-edintogondola，firstsankdowninconfusion，andthenroseupinfuryandbrushedallthehairoutofmyhead。
\"Ideclare，\"IsaidtoHalicarnassus，whenwewerefairlybeyondear-shotofthecitynextmorning，\"Idon\'tapproveofsumptuarylaws，andIlikeAmericatobetheElDoradoofthepoorman，andIgoforthelargestlibertyoftheindividual；
butIdothinkthereoughttobeaclauseintheConstitutionprovidingthatservantsshallnotbedressedandeducatedandaccomplisheduptothepointofmakingpeopleuncomfortable。\"
\"No，\"saidHalicarnassus，sleepily；\"perhapsitwasn\'taservant。\"
\"Well，\"Isaid，havinglookedatitinthatlightsilentlyforhalfanhour，andcomingtothesurfaceinanotherplace，\"ifIcoulddressandcarrymyselflikethat，Iwouldnotkeeptavern。\"
\"Oh！eh？\"yawning；\"whodoes？\"
\"Mrs。Astor。OfcoursenobodylessrichthanMrs。Astorcouldgoup-stairsanddown-stairsandinmylady\'schamberinShirazsilkandgoldofOphir。Why，Cleopatrawasnothingtoher。
Imakenodoubtsheusesgold-dustforsugarinhercoffeeeverymorning；andasforthethreemiserablelittlewherriesthatIsabellafurnishedColumbus，andhistorianshavetowedthroughtheirtomeseversince，ifyouknowofanybodythathasacontinenthewishestodiscover，sendhimtothishousekeeper，andshecanfitoutafleetoftransportsandMonitorsforconvoywithoneofherbracelets。\"
\"Idon\'t，\"saidHalicarnassus，rubbinghiseyes。
\"Ionlywish，\"Iadded，\"thatshewouldturnRebelsothatgovernmentmightconfiscateher。Papercurrencywouldgoupatoncefromthesuddeninfluxofgold，andthecreditofthecountryreceiveanewleaseoflife。ShemustbealinealdescendantofSirRogerdeCoverley，forsureherfingersparkleswithahundredofhisrichestacres。\"
BeforebiddingafinalfarewelltoNewYork，Iventuretomakeasingleremark。IregrettobeforcedtoconfessthatI
greatlyfeareventhisvirtuouslittlecityhasnotescapedquitefree，thegeneraldeteriorationofmoralsandmanners。
TheNewYorkhackmen，forinstance，areveryobligingandattentive；butifitwouldnotseemungrateful，Iwouldhazardthestatementthattheirattentionsareunremittingtothedegreebeingalmostembarrassing，andprofferedtothevergeofobtrusiveness。Ithink，inshort，thattheyarehardlyquitedelicateintheirpoliteness。Theypresstheirhospitalityonyoutillyousighforalittlemarkedneglect。
Theyarenotcontentwithsimplestatement。Theyofferyoutheirhack，forinstance。Youdeclinewiththanks。Theysaythattheywillcarryyoutoanypartofthecity。Whereisthepertinenceofthat，ifyoudonotwishtogo？Buttheynotonlysayit，theyrepeatit，theydwelluponitasifitwereacardinalvirtue。Nowyouhaveneverexpressedorentertainedtheremotestsuspicionthattheywouldnotcarryyoutoanypartofthecity。Youhavenottheslightestintentionordesiretodiscredittheirassertion。Theonlytroubleis，asIsaidbefore，youdonotwishtogotoanypartofthecity。Veryfewpeoplehavetimetodriveaboutinthatgeneralway；andsurely，whenyouhaveoncedistinctlyinformedthemthatyoudonotdesigntoinspectNewYork，theyoughttoseeplainlythatyoucannotchangeyourwholeplanofoperationsoutofgratitudetothem，andthatthepartoftruepolitenessistowithdraw。Buttheyevengobeyondacensurableurgency；foranoldgentlemanandlady，evidentlyunaccustomedtotravelling，hadgiventhemselvesinchargeofadriver，whoplacedtheminhiscoach，leavingthedooropenwhilehewentbackseekingwhomhemightdevour。Presentlyarivalcoachmancameupandsaidtotheagedandrespectablecouple，——
\"Here\'sacarriageallreadytostart。\"
\"But，\"repliedthelady，\"wehavealreadytoldthegentlemanwhodrivesthiscoachthatwewouldgowithhim。\"
\"Catchmetogointhatcoach，ifIwasyou！\"respondedthewickedcoachman。\"Why，thatcoachhashadthesmall-poxinit。\"
Theladystartedupinhorror。Atthatmomentthefirstdriverappearedagain；andSatanenteredintome，andIfeltinmyheartthatIshouldliketoseeafight；andthenconsciencesteppedupanddrovehimaway，butconsoledmebytheassurancethatIshouldseethefightallthesame，forsuchduplicitydeservedtheseverestpunishment，anditwasmydutytomakeanexposeandvindicatehelplessinnocenceimposeduponinthepersonsofthatworthypair。AccordinglyIsaidtothedriver，ashepassedme，——
\"Driver，thatmaninthegraycoatistryingtofrightentheoldladyandgentlemanawayfromyourcoach，bytellingthemithashadthesmall-pox。\"
Oh！butdidnotthefireflashintohishonesteyes，andleapintohisswarthycheek，andnervehisbrawnyarm，andclinchhishornyfist，ashemarchedstraightwayuptothedoomedoffender，fiercelydenouncedhisdishonesty，andviolentlydemandedredress？Ah！thenandtherewashurryingtoandfro，andeagernessanddelightoneverycountenance，andaringformed，andtheprospectofalovely\"row，\"——andIdidit；butapolice-officersprangup，full-armed，fromsomewhereunderground，andundiditall，andenforcedareluctantpeace。
AndsoweareatSaratoga。Now，ofallplacestostayatinthesummer-time，Saratogaistheverylastonetochoose。Itmayhaveattractionsinwinter；but，ifonewishestorestandchangeandrootdownandshootupandbranchout，hemightaswelltakelodgingsinthewater-wheelofasaw-mill。Theuniformityandvarietywillbemuchthesame。Itisallanoiselesskindofdin，narrowandintense。ThereisnothinginSaratoganorofSaratogatoseeortohearortofeel。
Theytellyouofalake。Youjamintoanomnibusandridefourmiles。Thenyoustepintoacockle-shellandcircumnavigateapond，sosmallthatitalmostmakesyoudizzytosailaroundit。Thisisthelake，——averynicethingasfarasitgoes；
butwhenithastobeconstantlyondutyasthenaturalsceneryofthewholesurroundingcountry，itisputtingaltogethertoofineapointonit。ThepicturesquepeoplewillinformyouofanIndianencampment。Yougotoseeit，thinkingoftheforestprimeval，andexpectingtobetransportedbacktotomahawks，scalps，andforefathersbutyoureturnwithoutthem，andthatisall。Ineverheardofanybody\'sgoinganywhere。Infacttheredidnotseemtobeanywheretogo。Anysuggestionofminetostrikeoutintothechampaignwasfrowneddownintheseverestmanner。AsfarasIcouldsee，nobodyeverdidanything。Thereneverwasanyplanonfoot。Nothingwaseverstirring。Peoplesatonthepiazzaandsewed。Theywenttothesprings，andthespringsaredreadful。Theybubbleupsaltsandsenna。Ineverknewanythingthatpretendedtobewaterthatwashalfasbad。Ithasnooneredeemingquality。
Itisbitter。Itisgreasy。Everyspringisworsethanthelast，whicheverendyoubeginat。Theytoldapocryphalstoriesofpeople\'sdrinkingsixteenglassesbeforebreakfast；andyetitmayhavebeentrue；for，ifonecouldbringhimselftothepointofdrinkingoneglassofit，Ishouldsupposeitwouldhavetakensuchaforcetoenablehimtodoitthathemightgoondrinkingindefinitely，fromthemereactionoftheoriginalimpulse。Ishouldthinkonedoseofitwouldrenderapersonpermanentlyindifferenttosavors，andmakehim，likeMithridates，poison-proof。Nevertheless，peoplegotothespringsanddrink。Thentheygotothebowling-alleysandbowl。Intheevening，ifyouarehilariouslyinclined，youcanmakethetourofthehotels。Inoneyouseealargeandbrilliantlylightedparlor，alongthefoursidesofwhicharewomensitting，solemnandstately，inrowsthreedeep，amandroppedinhereandthere，aboutasthickasperiodsonapage，veryyoungorveryoldorinwhitecravats。Apianoorabandorsomethingthatcanmakeanoisemakesitatintervalsatoneendoftheroom。Theyalllookasiftheywaitingforsomething，butnothinginparticularhappens。Sometimes，afterthemountainhaslaboredawhile，somelittlemouseofaboyandgirlwillgetup，executeananticortwoandsitdownagain，wheneverythingrelapsesintoitsoriginalsolemnity。Atverylongintervalssomebodywalksacrossthefloor。Thereisamoderateflutteringoffansandanoccasionalwhisper。Expectationinterspersedwithgimcracksseemstobetheprogramme。ThegreaterpartofthedancingthatIsawwasdonebyboysandgirls。Itwasprettyandpainful。Nobodydancessowellaschildren；nograceisequaltotheirgrace；buttogointoahotelatteno\'clockatnight，andseelittlethings，eight，ten，twelveyearsold，whooughttobeinbedandasleep，trickedoutinflouncesandribbonsandalltheparaphernaliaofballet-girls，anddancinginthecentreofahollowsquareofstrangers，——Icallitmurderinthefirstdegree。Whatcanmothersbethinkingoftoabusetheirchildrenso？Childrenarenaturallyhealthyandsimple；whyshouldtheybespoiled？Theywillhavetoplungeintotheworldfullsoonenough；whyshouldtheworldbeplungedintothem？Physically，mentally，andmorally，theinnocentsaremassacred。NightafternightIsawthesamechildrenledouttotheslaughter，andasIlookedIsawtheirround，redcheeksgrowthinandwhite，theirdelicatenerveslosetoneandtension，theirbrainsbecomefeebleandflabby，theirmindsflutteroutweaklyinmuslinandribbons，theirvanitykindledbyinjudiciousadmiration，thesweetchild-unconsciousnesswitheringawayintheglareofindiscriminategazing，theinnocenceandsimplicityandnaturalnessandchildlikenessswallowedupinaseethingwhirlpoolofartificialness，allthefine，goldenbutterfly-dustofmodestyanddelicacyandretiringgirlhoodruthlesslyrubbedoffforeverbeforegirlhoodhadevenreddenedfromthedimdawnofinfancy。Oh！itiscrueltosacrificechildrenso。Whatcanatoneforalostchildhood？Whatcanbegiveninrecompensefortheethereal，spontaneous，sharplydefined，new，delicioussensationsofasheltered，untainted，openinglife？
Thoroughlyworkedintoawhiteheatofindignation，weleavethebabesinthewoodtobedespatchedbytheirruffianrelatives，andgotootherhotel。Alargerparlor，largerrows，butstillthreedeepandsolemn。Atallman，withafaceinwhichmelancholyseemstobegivingwaytodespair，amanmostproperforanundertaker，butpalpablyoutofplaceinadrawing-room，walksupanddownincessantly，butnoiselessly，inapersistentendeavortobringoutadance。Nowhefastensuponanewlyarrivedman。Nowheplantshimselfbeforeabenchofmisses。Youcanhearthelowrumbleofhisexhortationandthetitteringreplies。Afteraperseveringcourseofentreatyandpersuasion，asetisdrafted，themusicgalvanizes，andthedancebegins。
Iliketoseepeopledowiththeirmightwhatsoevertheirhandsortheirtonguesortheirfeetfindtodo。Ahalf-and-halfperformanceoftherightisjustaboutasmischievousastheperpetrationofthewrong。Itisvacillation，hesitation，lackofwill，feeblenessofpurpose，imperfectexecution，thatworksillinalllife。Bemonarchofallyousurvey。Ifawomandecidestodoherownhousework，lethergoinroyallyamongherpotsandkettles，andseteverythinga-stewingandbakingandbroilingandboiling，asaqueenmight。Ifshedecidesnottodohousework，buttosuperintenditsdoing，lethersaytoherservant，\"Go，\"andhegoeth，toanother，\"Come，\"andhecometh，toathird，\"Dothis，\"andhedoethit，andnotpotterabout。So，whengirlsgetthemselvesupandgotoSaratogaforaregularcampaign，lettheirbearingbesoldierly。Letthembegaywithabandonment。Letthemtakeholdofitasiftheylikedit。Idonotaffectthewordflirtation，butthethingitselfisnothalfsocriminalasonewouldthinkfromtheanimadversionsvisiteduponit。Ofcourse，adeliberatesettingyourselftoworktomakesomeonefallinlovewithyou，forthemerepurposeofshowingyourpower，isabominable，——orwouldbe，ifanybodyeverdidit；butIdonotsupposeiteverwasdone，exceptinfifth-ratenovels。WhatImeanis，thatitisentertaining，harmless，andbeneficialforyoungpeopletoamusethemselveswitheachothertothetopoftheirbent，iftheirbentisanaturalandrightone。Afewheartsmaysufferaccidental，transientinjury；butheartsarelikelimbs，allthestrongerforbeingbroken。Besides，whereonemanorwomanisinjuredbylovingtoomuch，ninehundredandninety-ninediethedeathfromnotlovingenough。ButtheseSaratogagirlsdidneitheronethingnoranother。Theydressedthemselvesintheirbest，makingapointofit，andfailed。Theyassembledthemselvestogetherofsetpurposetobelively，andtheywereinfectiouslydismal。Theydidnotdresswell:onelookedrustic；anotherwasdowdyish；athirdwasover-fine；afourthwasinsignificant。Theirbearingwasnotgood，inthemain。Theydanced，andwhispered，andlaughed，andlookedlikemilkmaids。Theyhadnostyle，nofigure。Theirshoulderswerehigh，andtheirchestswereflat，andtheywereone-sided，andtheystooped，——allofwhichwouldhavebeennoaccount，iftheyhadonlybeenunconsciouslyenjoyingthemselves:buttheyconsciouslywerenot。Itispossiblethattheythoughttheywerehappy，butIknewbetter。
Youareneverhappy，unlessyouaremasterofthesituation；
andtheywerenot。Theyendeavoredtoappearatease，——athingwhichpeoplewhoareateaseneverdo。TheylookedasiftheyhadalltheirlivesbeenmeaningtogotoSaratoga，andnowtheyhadgotthereandweredeterminednottobetrayanyunwontedness。
Itwasnotthetimid，eager，delighted，fascinating，gracefulawkwardnessofanewyounggirl；itwasnotthecareless，hearty，whole-souledenjoymentofanexperiencedgirl；itwasnotthenatural，indifferent，imperialqueeningitofanacknowledgedmonarch:butsomethingthatcaughtholdofthehemofthegarmentofthemall。Itwastheywiththesheendampedoff。
Soitwasnotimposing。Icouldpickyouupadozengirlsstraightalong，rightoutofthepantriesandthebutteries，rightupfromthewashing-tubsandthesewing-machines，whoshouldbeabundantlyableto\"hoetheirrow\"withthemanywhere。
Inshort，Iwasextremelydisappointed。Iexpectedtoseethehighfashion，theverybirthandbreeding，thecreamcheeseofthecountry，anditwasskim-milk。Ifthatisbirth，onecandoquiteaswellwithoutbeingbornatall。Occasionallyyouwouldseeagirlwithgentlebloodinherveins，whetheritwerebutcher-bloodorbanker-blood，butsheonlymadetheprevailingplebsinessmorestriking。NowImaintainthatawomanoughttobeveryhandsomeorveryclever，orelsesheoughttogotoworkanddosomething。Beautyisofitselfadivinegiftandadequate。
\"Beautyisitsownexcuseforbeing\"anywhere。Itoughtnottobefencedinormonopolized，anymorethanastatueoramountain。Itoughttobefreeandcommon，abenedictiontoallwearywayfarers。Itcanneverbeprofaned；foritveilsitselffromtheunappreciativeeye，andshinesonlyuponitsworshippers。
Soacleverwoman，whethershebeapainterorateacheroradress-maker，——ifshereallyhasanobjectinlife，acareer，sheissafe。Sheisapower。Shecommandsarealm。Sheownsaworld。Sheisbringingthingstobear。Letheralone。Butitisaverydangerousandaverymelancholythingcommonwomentobe\"lyingontheiroars\"longatatime。Someofthesewere，I
suppose，whatWinthropcalls\"business-women，fightingtheirwayoutofvulgarityintostyle。\"Theprocessisratheruninteresting，buttheresultmaybeglorious。Yetagoodmanyofthemweregoodhonest，kind，commongirls，onlydemoralizedbylonglyingaroundinawaitingposture。Ithadtakenthefireandsparkleoutofthem。Theywerenotinahealthystate。Theyweredegraded，contracted，flaccid。Theydidnotholdthemselveshigh。Theyknewthatinamarket-pointofviewtherewasafrightfulglutofwomen。Theusuallysmallratioofmenwasunusuallydiminishedbytheabsenceofthosewhogonetothewar，andofthosewho，aswascurrentlyreported，wereashamedthattheyhadnotgone。Afewavailablemenhaditalltheirownway；
thewomenwereonthelookoutforthem，insteadofbeingthemselveslookedoutfor。Theytalkedabout\"gentlemen，\"andbeing\"companionabletoGEN-tlemen，\"andwhowas\"fascinatingtoGEN-tlemen，\"tillthe\"grandoldnamebecameanuisance。
Therewasanunder-currentofunsatedcoquetry。Idon\'tsupposetheywereanysillierthantherestofus；butwhenoursillinessismixedinwithhousekeepingandsewingandteachingandreturningvisits，itpassesoffharmless。Whenitisstrippedofallthesemodifiers，however，andgoesoffexposedtoSaratoga，andmeltsinwithahundredothersillinesses，itmakesagreatshow。
No，Idon\'tlikeSaratoga。Idon\'tthinkitiswholesome。Noplacecanbehealthythatkeepsupsuchanunmitigateddressing。
\"Wheredoyouwalk？\"Iaskedanartlesslittlelady。
\"O，almostalwaysonthelongpiazza。Itissocleanthere，andwedon\'tliketosoilourdresses。\"
NowIaskifgirlscouldevergetintothatstateinthenaturalcourseofthings！Itistheresultofbadhabits。
Theyceasetocareforthingswhichtheyoughttoliketodo，andtheydevotethemselvestowhatoughttobeonlyanincident。Peopledressintheirbestwithoutbreak。Theygotothespringsbeforebreakfastinshiningraiment，andtheygointotheparloraftersupperinshiningraiment，anditisshine，shine，shine，allthewaybetween，andadifferentshineeachtime。YoumaywellsupposethatIwaslikeanowlamongbirdsofParadise，forwhatlittlefineryIhadwasinmyeminentlytravelling-trunk:yet，thoughitwasbutadory，comparedwiththeNoah\'sarksthatdroveupeveryday，Ifeltthat，ifIcouldonlyoncegetinsideofit，Icouldmakethingsflytosomepurpose。LikepoorRabette，Iwouldshowthecitythatthecountrytoocouldwearclothes！IneverwalkeddownBroadwaywithoutseeingadozenwhitetrunks，andeverywhitetrunkthatIsawIwasfullyconvincedwasmine，ifIcouldonlygetatit。Byandbyminecame，andI
blossomed。Iarrayedmyselfformorning，noon，andnight，andeverythingelsethatcameup，andwas，asthepoetsays，——
\"Prodigiousinchange，Andendlessinrange，\"——
forIwouldhavescornednottobeasgoodasthebest。Theresultwas，thatinthreedaysItouchedbottom。Butthenwewentaway，andmyreputationwassaved。Idon\'tbelieveanybodyeverdidalargerbusinessonasmallercapital；butIputaboldfaceonit。IcherishthehopethatnobodysuspectedIcouldnotgooninthatruinouswayallsummer，——
I，whointhreedayshadmusteredintoserviceeverydressandsashandribbonandthatIhadhadinthreeyearsorexpectedtohaveinthreemore。ButIneverwill，ifIcanhelpit，holdmyheaddownwhereotherpeopleareholdingtheirheadsup。
Iwouldnotbeunderstoodasdecryingordepreciatingdress。
Itisadutyaswellasadelight。Mrs。Madisonisreportedtohavesaidthatshewouldneverforgiveayoungladywhodidnotdresstoplease，oronewhoseemedpleasedwithherdress。
Andnotonlyyoungladies，butoldladiesandoldgentlemen，andeverybody，oughttomaketheirdressaconcordandnotadiscord。ButSaratogaispitchedonaperpetualfalsetto，andstunsyou。Onebecomessatedwithaninterminablepiecederesistanceoffulldress。Attheseasideyoubathe；atthemountainsyouputonstoutbootsandcoarsefrocksandgoa-fishing；butSaratoganever\"letsup，\"——ifImaybepardonedthephrase。Consequently，youseemuchofcrinolineandlittleofcharacter。YouhavetogetatthehumannaturejustasThoreauusedtogetatbird-natureandfish-natureandturtle-nature，bysittingperfectlystillinoneplaceandwaitingpatientlytillitcomesout。Youseemoreoftherealityofpeopleinasingleday\'strampthanintwentydaysofguardedmonotone。NowIcannotconceiveofanyreasonwhypeopleshouldgotoSaratoga，excepttoseepeople。True，asageneralthing，theyarethelastobjectsyoudesiretosee，whenyouaresummering。ButifonehasbeencoopedupinthehouseorblockedupinthecountryduringtheninemonthsofourNorthernwinter，hemayhaveamightyhungerandthirst，whenheisthawedout，toseehumanfacesandhearhumanvoices；buteventhenSaratogaisnottheplacetogoto，onaccountofthisveryartificialness。ByartificialIdonotmeandeceitful。Isawnobodybutnicepeoplethere，smooth，kind，andpolite。ByartificialImeanwroughtup。Youdon\'tgetattheheartofthings。Artificialnessspreadsandspansallwithacrystalbarrier，——invisible，butpalpable。Nothingwaslefttogrowandgoatitsownsweetwill。Theveryspringswerepavedandpavilioned。Forgreenfieldsandwellingfountainsandapossibilityofbrooks，whichoneexpectsfromthename，youfoundaGreektemple，andapleasure-ground，gradedandgrassedandpathedlikeacemetery，whereinnymphstroddaintilyinelaboratemorning-costume。
Everythingtookpatternandwaselaborate。Nothingwaslefttotheimagination，thetaste，thecuriosity。Abland，smooth，smilingsurfacebaffledandblindedyou，andthreatenedprofanity。Nowprofanityiswickedandvulgar；butifyoulistentothereedsnextsummer，Iamnotsurethatyouwillnothearthemwhispering，under，\"Thunder！\"
FortherestorativequalitiesofSaratogaIhavenothingtosay。IwaswellwhenIwentthere；nordidmyexperienceeverfurnishmewithanydiseasethatIshouldconsiderworsethananintermittentattackofherspringwaters。Butwhateveritmaydoforthebody，Idonotbelieveitisforthesoul。I
donotbelievethatsuchplaces，suchscenes，suchafashionoflifeevernourishesavigorouswomanhoodormanhood。Takenhomeopathically，itmaybeharmless；butbecomeahabit，anecessity，itmustvitiate，enervate，destroy。Mencanstandit，forthesea-breezesandthemountain-breezesmayhavefullsweepthroughtheirlife；butwomencannot，fortheyjustgohomeandliveair-tight。
Iftherailroad-menatSaratogatellyouthatyoucangostraightfromtheretothefootofLakeGeorge，don\'tyoubelieveawordofit。Perhapsyoucan，andperhapsyoucannot；
butyouarenotanymorelikelyto\"can\"fortheirsayingso。
WeleftSaratogaforFort-William-HenryHotelinfullfaithofanafternoonrideandasunsetarrival，basedonrepeatedandunhesitatingassurancestothateffect。Insteadofwhich，wewentafewmiles，andwerethendumpedintoablackberry-patch，wherewewereinformedthatwemustwaitsevenhours。Somuchfortheafternoonridethroughsummerfieldsand\"SunsetonLakeGeorge，\"fromthetopofacoach。ButImadenounmanlylaments，forwewereoutofSaratoga，andthatwashappiness。
Wewereamongcowsandbarnsandhomelyrail-fences，andthatwascomfort；sowestrolledcontentedlythroughthepasture，foundariver，——IbelieveitwastheHudson；atanyrate，Halicarnassussaidso，thoughIdon\'timagineheknew；buthewouldtakeoathitwasAcheronratherthanownuptoignoranceonanypointwhatever，——watchedthecanal-boatsandboatmengodown，marvelledatthearbor-vitaetreesgrowingwildalongtheriver-banks，green，hale，stately，andsymmetrical，againstthedismalmentalbackgroundoftwolittleconsumptiveshootsbolsteredupinourfrontyardathome，anddyingdaily，notwithstandingpersistentandaffectionatenursingwith\"flannelsandrum，\"andthenwewentbacktotheblackberry-
stationandinquiredwhethertherewasnothingcelebratedinthevicinitytowhichvisitorsofreceivedOrthodoxcreedshoulddutifullypaytheirrespects，andweregratifiedtolearnthatwewerebutafewmilesfromJaneMcCreaandherIndianmurderers。Wasacarriageprocurable？Well，yes，iftheladieswouldbewillingtogointhat。Itwasn\'tverysmart，butitwouldtake\'emsafe，——asif\"theladies\"wouldhaveraisedanyobjectionstogoinginawheelbarrow，haditbeennecessary，andsowebundledin。Thehillsweresteep，andourhorse，thepropertyofanadventitiousby-stander，wasoftheRosinantebreed；wewereinnohurry，seeingthattheonlythingawaitingusthissidethesunsetwasablackberry-patchwithoutanyblackberries，andwewalkeduphillandscrapeddown，tillwegotintoalanewhichsomebodytoldusledtotheFort，fromwhichthevillage，FortEdward，takesitsname。But，insteadofafort，thelaneranfulltiltagainstapairofbars。
\"Nowwearelost，\"Isaid，sententiously。
\"Agemofcountlessprice，\"pursuedHalicarnassus，whoneverquotespoetryexcepttodestroymyequilibrium。
\"Howlongwillitbeprofitabletoremainhere？\"askedGrande，whenwehadsatimmovableandspeechlessforthespaceoffiveminutes。
\"Thereseemstohenowhereelsetogo。Wehavegottotheend，\"saidHalicarnassus，roamingastohiseyesoverintothewheat-fieldbeyond。
\"Wemightturn，\"suggestedtheAnakim，lookingbright。
\"Howcanyouturnahorseinthisknitting-needleofalane？\"
Idemanded。
\"Idon\'tknow，\"repliedHalicarnassus，dubiously，\"unlessI
takehimupinmyarms，andsethimdownwithhisheadtheotherway，\"——andimmediatelyturnedhimdeftlyinacornerabouthalfaslargeasthewagon。
Thenextlanewecametowastherightone，andbeingnarrow，rocky，andrough，weleftourcarriageandwalked。
Awholevolumeofthepeacefulandprosperoushistoryofourbelovedcountrycouldbereadinthefactthattheoncebelligerent，life-saving，death-dealingfortwasrepresentedbyahen-coop；yetIwasdisappointed。Iwashungryforaruin，——somevisiblehintofthepast。Suchishumannature，——
everpronetobemoreimpressedbyadisappointmentofitsownmomentarygratificationthanbythemostobviouswell-beingofanationbut，gladorsorry，ofFortEdwardwasnotleftonestoneuponanother。Severalsinglestoneslayabout，promiscuousratherthanbelligerent。Flag-staffandpalisadeslivedonlyinafewstragglingbean-poles。Fortheheavyboomingofcannonrosethe\"quauk！\"ofducksandthecacklingofhens。WewenttothespotwhichtraditionpointsoutastheplacewhereJaneMcCreametherdeath。Riverflowed，andraftsmensangbelow；womenstoodattheirwashing-tubs，andwhite-headedchildrenstaredatusfromabove；norfromtheunheedingriverortheforgetfulweedscameorcryorfaintestwailofpain。
Whenwewerelittle，andgeographyandhistorywerebutprintedwordsonwhitepaper，notplacesandevents，JaneMcCreawastousnosufferingwoman，butapictureofalow-necked，long-
skirted，scantydress，longhairgraspedbyanakedIndian，andtwounnatural-lookinghandsraisedinentreaty。Itwasinterestingasapicture，butitexcitednopity，nohorror，becauseitwasonlyapicture。Weneversawwomendressedinthatstyle。Weknewthatwomendidnottakejourneysthroughwoodswithoutbonnetorshawl，andwespreadaveilofignorant，indifferentincredulityoverthewhole。Butaswegrowup，printedwordstakeonnewlife。Thelatentfireinthemlightsupandglows。Themysticwordsthrobwithvitalheat，andburndownintooursoulstoanansweringfire。Aswestand，onthissoftsummerday，bytheoldtreewhichtraditiondeclarestohavewitnessedthatfatefulscene，wegobackintoasummerlongago，butfair，andjustlikethis。
JaneMcCreaisnolongeramyth，butayounggirl，bloomingandbeautifulwiththerosesofherseventeenyears。Fartherbackstill，weseeanoldman\'sdarling，littleJennyoftheManse，alight-heartedchild，withsturdyScotchbloodleapinginheryoungveins，——thenatenderorphan，shelteredbyabrother\'scare，——thenagentlemaiden，light-heartednolonger，heavy-freighted，rather，butwithapricelessburden，——ahappygirl，towhomlovecallswithstrongervoicethanbrother\'sblood，strongereventhanlife。Yonderinthewoodslurkwilyandwaryfoes。Deathwithunspeakablehorrorsliesinambushthere；butyonderalsostandsthesoldierlover，andpossiblegreeting，afterlong，wearyabsence，isthere。Whatfearcanmasterthatoverpoweringhope？Estrangementoffamilies，politicaldisagreement，aseparatedloyalty，allmeltaway，arefusedtogetherinthewarmthofgirlishlove。Taxes，representation，whatthingsarethesetocomebetweentwohearts？NoTory，notraitorisherlover，butherownbraveheroandtrueknight。Woe！woe！theeagerdreamisbrokenbymadwar-whoops！alas！tothosefiercewildmen，whatislove，orloveliness？Pride，andpassion，andtheoldaccursedhungerforgoldflameupintheirsavagebreasts。Wrathful，loathsomefingersclutchthelong，fairhairthateventhefingersoflovehavecaressedbutwithreverenthalf-touch，——andloveandhopeandlifegooutinonedreadmomentofhorroranddespair。
Now，throughthereverberationsofmorethanfourscoreyears，throughallthetempest-rageofawarmoreawfulthanthat，andfraught，wehope，withagranderjoy，aclear，youngvoice，madesharpwithagony，ringsthroughtheshudderingwoods，cleavesupthroughthesummersky，andwakensineveryheartathrillofspeechlesspain。AlongthesepeacefulbanksIseeabowedformwalking，youthinhisyears，butdeeperfurrowsinhisfacethancanplough，strickendownfromtheheightsofambitionanddesire，allthevigorandfireofmanhoodcrushedandquenchedbeneaththehorrorofonefearfulmemory。
Sweetsummersky，bendingaboveussoftandsaintly，beyondyourbluedepthsistherenotHeaven？
\"WemayaswellgiveDobbinhisoatshere，\"saidHalicarnassus。
Wehadbroughtafewinabagforluncheon，thinkingitmighthelphimoverthehills。Sothewagonwasrummaged，thebagbroughttolight，andIwassenttooneofthenearesthousestogetsomethingforhimtoeatoutof。Ididnotthinktoaskwhatparticularvesseltoinquirefor；butafterIhadknocked，Idecideduponameat-platterorapudding-dish，andwiththegoodwoman\'spermissionfinallytookboth，thatHalicarnassusmighthavehischoice。
\"Whichisthebest？\"Iasked，holdingthemup。
Hesurveyedthemcarefully，andthensaid，——
\"Nowrunrightbackandgetatumblerforhimtodrinkoutof，andateaspoontofeedhimwith。\"
Istartedingoodfaith，fromamerehabitofunquestioningobedience，butwiththefourthstepmyreasonreturnedtome，andIreturnedtoHalicarnassusand——kickedhim。Thatsoundsverydreadfulandhorrible，anditis，ifyouarethinkingofagreat，brutal，brogankick，suchasastupidfarmergivestohispatientoxen；butnot，ifyoumeanonlyadelicate，compact，penetrativenudgewiththetoeofatight-fittinggaiter，——addressedrathertotheconsciencethanthesole，tothesensibilitiesratherthanthesenses。Thekickmasculineiscoarse，boorish，unmitigated，predicableonlyofCalibans。
Thekickfeminineisexpressive，suggestive，terse，electric，——
anindispensableinstrumentindomesticdiscipline，aswomenwillbearmewitness，andnotatallincompatiblewithbeauty，grace，andamiability。But，rightorwrong，afterallthisintervalofrestandreflection，infullviewofallthecircumstances，myonlyregretisthatIdidnotkickhimharder。
\"Nowgoandfetchyourowntools！\"Icried，shakingofftheyokeofservitude。\"Iwon\'tbeyourstable-boyanylonger！\"
Then，perforce，hegatheredupthecrockery，marchedoffindisgrace，andcamebackwithamolasses-hogshead，orawash-tub，orsomesuchovergrownmastodon，toturnhissixpenny-worthofoatsinto。
Havingfedourmettlesomesteed，thenextthingwastowaterhim。TheAnakimrememberedtohaveseenapumpwithatroughsomewhere，andtheyproposedtoreconnoitrewhileweshould\"waitBYthewagon\"theirreturn。No，Isaidwewoulddriveontothepump，whiletheywalked。
\"Youdrive！\"ejaculatedHalicarnassus，contemptuously。
NowIdonot，asageneralthing，haveanoverweeningrespectforfemaleteamsters。ThereisbutonewomanintheworldtowhosehandsIconfidethereinsandmyboneswithentireequanimity；andshesays，that，whensheisdriving，shedreadsofallthingstomeetadrivingwoman。Ifamansaidthis，itmightbesetdowntoprejudice。Idon\'tmakeanyaccountofHalicarnassus\'sassertion，that，iftwowomenwalkingintheroadonamuddydaymeetacarriage，theyneverkeeptogether，butinvariablyonerunstotherightandonetotheleft，sothatthedrivercannotfavorthematall，buthastocrowdbetweenthem，anddrivebothintothemud。Thatispalpablyinterestedfalsewitness。Hethinksitisfinefuntopushwomenintothemud，andframessuchflimsyexcuses。Butasawoman\'sthoughtsaboutwomen，thiswoman\'sutterancesaredeservingofattention；andshesaysthatwomenarenottobedependedupon。Sheisneversurethattheywillnotturnoutonthewrongside。Theyarenervous；theyaretimid；theyareunreasoning；theyarereckless。Theywillgiveahorseadisconnected，anutterlyinconsequent\"cut，\"makinghimspring，tothejeopardyoftheirownandothers\'safety。Theyarenotconcentrative，andtheyarenotinfalliblycourteous，asmenare。IrememberIwasdrivingwithheroncebetweenNewburyportandBoston。Itwasgettinglate，andwewereverydesiroustoreachourdestinationbeforenightfall。
Aheadofusawomanandagirlwerejoggingalonginacountrywagon。Aswewishedtogomuchfasterthanthey，weturnedasidetopassthem；butjustaswewerewellabreast，thewomanstartedupherhorse，andheskimmedoverthegroundlikeabird。
Welaughed，andfollowed，wellcontent。Butafterhehadgoneperhapsaneighthofamile，hisspeedslackeneddowntotheformerjog-trot。Threetimesweattemptedtopassbeforewereallycomprehendedthefactthatthatinfamouswomanwasdeliberatelydetainingandannoyingus。Thethirdtime，whenwehadsonearlypassedthemthatourhorsewasturningintotheroadagain，shestruckhersupsosuddenlyandunexpectedlythatherwheelsalmostgrazedours。Ofcourse，understandinghergame，weceasedtheattempt，havingnotasteforhorse-racing；andnearlyallthewayfromNewburyporttoRowley，shekeptupthatbrigandry，joggingon，andforcingustojogon，neithergoingaheadherselfnorsufferingustodoso，——aperfectandmostprovokingdoginamanger。Hergirl-associatewouldlookbehindeverynowandthentotakeobservations，andImentallyhopedthatthefriskyBucephaluswouldfriskhismistressoutofthecartandbreakherne——
arm，oratleastputhershoulderoutofjoint。Ifhedid，Ihadfullydeterminedinmyownmindtohastentoherassistance，andshamehertodeathwithdelicateandassiduouskindness。Butfatelingeredlikealltherestofus。ShereachedRowleyinsafety，andthereourroadsseparated。
Whethershestoppedthere，ordroveintoEthiopianwastesbeyond，Icannotsay；buthavenodoubtthatthemilkwhichshecarriedintoNewburyporttomarketwasblue，thebutterfrowy，andthepotatoesexceedinglysmall。
Nowdoyoumeantotellmethatanymanwouldhavebeenguiltyofsuchathing？Idon\'tmean，wouldhavecommittedsuchdiscourtesytoawoman？Ofcoursenot；butwouldamaneverdoittoaman？Never。Hemighttryitonceortwice，justforfun，justtoshowoffhishorse，butheneverwouldhavepersistedinittillajokebecameaninsult，nottosayapossibleinjury。
Still，asIwasabouttosay，whenthatRowleyjadeinterruptedme，thoughIhavesmallfaithinDi-Vernonismgenerally，andnolargefaithinmyownpersonalprowess，IdidfeelmyselfequaltothetaskofholdingthereinswhileourRosinantewalkedalonganopenroadtoapump。IthereforeresentedHalicarnassus\'scontemptuoustones，mountedthewagonwithasmuchdignityaswagonsallow，satstraightasanarrowonthedriver\'sseat，tookthereinsinbothhands，——astheyusedtotellmeImustnot，whenIwasalittlegirl，becausethatwaswomen\'sway，butIfindnowthatmenhaveadoptedit，soI
supposeitisallright，——andproceededtoshow，likeSamPatch，thatsomethingscanbedoneaswellasothers。
HalicarnassusandtheAnakimtookuptheirpositioninlineontheothersideoftheroad，hatinhand，watching。
\"Gofast，andshamethem，\"whisperedGrande，fromtheback-seat，andthesuggestionjumpedwithmyownmood。
Itwasamomentofintenseexcitement。Tobeornottobe。Ijerkedthelines。Pegasusdidnotstart。
\"C-l-k-l-k！\"Noforwardmovement。
\"Huddup！\"Stillwaitingforreinforcements。
\"H-w-e。\"Attemptatawhistle。Deadfailure。
Sottovoce。\"Oyoubeast！\"Pianiassimo。\"Gee！Haw！haw！
haw！\"withaterriblejerkingofthereins。
Avoiceovertheway，distinctlyaudible，uttersthecabalisticwords，\"Twoforty。\"Anothervoice，asaudible，asks，\"Which\'llyoubeton？\"Itwasnotsoothing。Itdidseemasiftheimpoftheperversehadtakenpossessionofthatterriblenagtogoandmakesuchadisplayatsuchamoment。Butashiswillrose，sodidmine，andmywillwentup，mywhipwentwithit；
butbeforeitcamedown，Halicarnassusmadeshifttodroneout，\"Wouldn\'tFloragofaster，ifshewasuntied？\"
Tobesure，Ihadforgottentounfastenhim，andtherethosetwomenhadstoodandknownitallthetime！Iwasinthewagon，sotheyweresecurefrompersonalviolence，butIhaveavagueimpressionofsome\"petnames\"flyingwildlyaboutintheairinthatvicinity。Thenwetrundledsafelydownthelane。Weweretogointhedirectionleadingawayfromhome，——
thehorse\'s。Idon\'tthinkheperceiveditatfirst，butassoonhedidsnuffthefact，whichhappenedwhenhehadgoneperhapsthreerods，hequietlyturnedaroundandheadedtheotherway，payingnomoreattentiontomyreinsormyterrific\"whoas！\"thanifIwereasleepingbabe。Ahorseisnoneofyourwoman\'s-rightsmen。HeisPauline。Hesuffersnotthewomantousurpauthorityoverhim。Heneversaysanythingnorvotesanything，butdeclareshimselfunequivocallybytakingthingsintohisownhands，wheneverheknowsthereisnobodybutawomanbehindhim，——andsomehowhealwaysdoesknow。
AfterHalicarnassushadturnedhimbackandsethimgoingtherightway，Itookonagruff，mannyvoice，todeceive。
Nonsense！Icouldalmostseehimsnaphisfingersatme。Hemindedmywhipnomorethanhedidafly，——notsomuchashedidsomeflies。Grandesaidshesupposedhisbackwasallcallous。Iacteduponthesuggestion，kneltdowninthebottomofthewagon，andleanedoverthedashertowhiphimonhisbelly，thenclimbedoutontheshaftsandsnappedabouthisears；buthestooditmuchbetterthanI。FinallyIfoundthatbytakingthesmallendofthewoodenwhip-handle，andstickingitintohim，Icouldelicitafaintflashoflight；soIdiditwithassiduity，butthemoderatetrotwhicheventhatproducedwasnotenoughtoaccomplishmydesign，whichwastooutstripthetwomenandmakethemrunorbeg。Theopposingforcesarrivedatthepumpaboutthesametime。
Halicarnassustookthehandle，andgaveaboutfivejerks。ThentheAnakimtookitandgavefivemore。Thentheybothstoppedandwipedtheirfaces。
\"Whatdoyousupposethispumpwasputherefor？\"askedHalicarnassus。
\"Amilestone，probably，\"repliedtheAnakim。
ThentheyresumedtheirHerculeaneffortstillthewatercame，andthentheygotintothewagon，andwedroveintotheblackberriesoncemore，wherewearrivedjustinseasontoescapeathunder-shower，andpilemerrilyintooneofseveralcoacheswaitingtoconveypassengersinvariousdirectionsassoonasthetrainshouldcome。
Itisveryselfish，butfinefun，tohavesecuredyourownchosenseatandbestowedyourownluggage，andhavenothingtodobutwitnesstheanxietiesandeffortsofotherpeople。Theexquisitepleasureweenjoyedforfifteenminutes，edifiedatthelastbyhearingoneofourcoachmencallout，\"Here，Rosey，thisway！\"——whereuponamanlyvoice，inthedarkness，nearus，soliloquized，\"RespectfulwayofaddressingajudgeoftheSupremeCourt！\"and，beinginterrogated，thevoiceinformedusthat\"Rosey\"wasthevulgateforJudgeRosecranz；whereuponHalicarnassusovertherampantdemocracybyremarkingthatthediminutivewasprobablyatermofendearmentratherthanfamiliarity；whereuponthemanlyvoice——ifImightsayit——
snickeredaudiblyinthedarkness，andweallrelapsedintosilence。Butcouldanythingbemorecharacteristicofacertainphaseofthemannersofourgreatandgloriouscountry？
WherearetheTrollopes？WhereisDickens？WhereisBasilHall？
ItisbutadrearyridetoLakeGeorgeonadarkandrainyevening，unlesspeoplelikeridingforitsownsake，asIdo。
Iftherearesunsandstarsandskies，verywell。Iftherearenot，verywelltoo:Iliketorideallthesame。IlikeeverythinginthisworldbutSaratoga。Onceortwiceourmonotonywasbrokenupbyshorthaltsbeforecountryinns。
Atoneanexcitementwasgoingon。\"Hadacasualtyherethisafternoon，\"remarkedafreshpassenger，assoonashewasfairlyseated。Acasualtyisawindfalltoacountryvillage。
Itisreallyworthwhiletohaveaheadbrokenoccasionally，forthewholesomestirring-upitgivestotheheadsthatarenotbroken。Onthewhole，Iquestionwhethercollisionsandcollusionsdonotcauseasmuchgoodasharm。Certainly，peopleseemtotakethemostlivelysatisfactioninreceivingandimpartingallthedetailsconcerningthem。Ourpassenger-friendopenedhisbudgetwithasmuchcomplacenceaseverdidMr。GladstoneorDisraeli，andwithaconfidentairofknowingthathewasgoingnotonlytoenjoyapieceofgood-fortunehimself，buttoadministeragreatgratificationtous。Our\"casualty\"turnedouttobetheaffairofaCatholicpriest，ofwhichourinformerspokeonlyindarkhintsandwithsignificantshoulder-shrugsandeyebrow-elevations，becauseitwas\"notexactlythethingtogetout，youknow\"；
butifitwasn\'ttogetout，whydidheletitout？andsofrommydarkcornerIwatchedhimasacatdoesamouse，andthelamp-lightshonefulluponhim，andIunderstoodeverywordandshrug，andIamgoingtotellitalltotheworld。I
translatedthattheholyfatherhadbeen\"skylarking\"inaboat，andingaysocietyhadforgottenhisvowsoffrugalityandabstinenceandgeneralmortificationoftheflesh，andhadbecome，notverydrunk，butdrunkenoughtobedangerous，whenhecameashoreandtookahorseinhishands，andsoupsethiscarriage，andgashedhistemporalartery，andcametogrief，whichissuchacasualtyasdoesnothappeneveryday，andI
don\'tblamepeopleformakingthemostofit。Thenthemoralwaspointed，thetaleadorned，andtheimpressiondeepened，solemnized，andstruckhomebythefactthattheveryhorseconcernedinthe\"casualty\"wastobefastenedbehindourcoach，andthewholepopulationcameoutwithinternsandumbrellastotiehimon，——allbutoneman，whowasdeaf，andstoodonthepiazza，anxiousandeagertoknoweverythingthathadbeenandwasstilloccurring，andyetsorrytogivetrouble，andsocompromisingthematterandmakingitworse，ascompromisersgenerallydo，byquestioningeverybodywithadeprecating，fawningair。
Item。Weshallall，ifwelivelongenough，bedeaf，butweneednotbemeekaboutit。Iforoneamdeterminedtowalkuptopeopleanddemandwhattheyaresayingatthepointofthebayonet。Deafness，ifitmustbeso，butindependenceatanyrate。
Andwhenthefulnessoftimeiscome，wealightatFort-William-HenryHotel，andallnightlongthroughthesentientwoodsIheartheboomingofJohnson\'scannon，therattleofDieskan\'sguns，andthatwildwar-whoop，moreterriblethanall。AgainoldMonrowatchesfromhisfortress-wallsthesteadilyapproachingfoe，andlooksinvainforhelp，savetohisownbraveheart。Iseethelightofconquestshininginhisfoeman\'seye，darkenedbytheshadowofthefatethatwaitshiscomingonableakNorthernhillbut，generousinthehourofvictory，heshallnotbelessnobleindefeat，——fortogenerousheartsallgenerousheartsarefriendly，whethertheystandfacetofaceorsidebyside。
Overthewoodsandthewaves，whenthemorningbreaks，likeabridegroomcomingforthfromhischamber，rejoicingasastrongmantorunarace，comesupthesuninhismightandcrownshimselfking。Allthesummerday，frommorntodewyeve，wesailoverthelakesofParadise。Bluewaters，andbluesky，softcloudsandgreenislands，andfair，fruitfulshores，sharp-pointedhills，long，gentleslopesandswells，andthelightsandshadowsoffar-stretchingwoods；andoverallthepotenceoftheunseenpast，thegrand，historicpast，——softoveralltheinvisiblemantlewhichourfathersflungattheirdeparting，——themysticeffluenceofthespiritsthattrodthesewildsandsailedthesewaters，——thecourageandthefortitude，thehopethatbattledagainsthope，thecomprehensiveoutlook，thesagaciouspurpose，theresolutewill，theunhesitatingself-sacrifice，theundaunteddevotionwhichhasmadethisheroicground；casttheseintoyourownglowingcrucible，O
graciousfriend，andcrystallizeforyourselfsuchagemofdaysasshallworthilybesetforeverinyourcrownofthebeatitudes。
PARTIII。
SometimesIbecomedisgustedwithmyself。Notveryoften，itistrue，forIdon\'tunderstandtheself-abhorrencethatI
occasionallyseelongdrawnoutinthestrictlyprivateprinteddiariesofgooddeadpeople。Aman\'sself-knowledge，asregardshisMaker，isamatterthatliesonlybetweenhisMakerandhimself，ofwhichnoprintedorwrittenscarcelyevenspokenwordscangive，oroughttogive，atruetranscript；
butinrespectofourrelationstootherpeopleIsupposewemaytaketolerablyaccurateviews，andstatethemwithoutwickedness，ifitcomesintheway；andsincethegeneraltrendofopinionseemstobetowardsexcessivemodesty，Iwillsacrificemyselftothegoodofsociety，andsaythat，inthemain，IthinkIamarather\"nice\"sortofperson。OfcourseIdoagreatmanythings，andsayagreatmanythings，andthinkagreatmanythings，thatIoughtnot；butwhenIthinkofthesinsthatIdon\'tcommit，——themanytimeswhenIfeelcrossenoughto\"biteaten-pennynailintwo，\"andonlybitemylips，——thesacrificesImakeforotherpeople，anddon\'tmentionit，andtheythemselvesneverknowit，——thequietcheerfulnessImaintainwhenthefiregoesout，orunexpectedguestsarriveandthereisnobreadinthehouse，ormymanuscriptisrespectfullydeclinedbythatinfatuatededitor，——
whenIreflectuponthesethings，andathousandotherslikeuntothem，Imustsay，Iamlostinadmirationofmyownvirtues。Youmaynotlikeme，butthatisameredifferenceoftaste。Atanyrate，Ilikemyselfverywell，andfindmyselfverygoodcompany。Manyalaugh，and\"lots\"or\"heaps\"
accordingasyouareaNorthernoraSouthernprovincialofconversationwehaveallalone，andareusuallyonexceedinggoodterms，whichisapleasure，evenwhenotherpeoplelikeme，andanimmenseconsolationwhentheydon\'t。ButasIwassaying，Idosometimesfalloutwithmyself，andwithhumannatureingeneraland，infact，Iratherthinkthesecretofself-complacencelurkssomewherehereabouts，——inamentalassumptionthatourvirtuesareourown，butourfaultsbelongtotherace。Buttothinkthatweweresopunyandpuerilethatwecouldnotstandthebeautythatbreathedaroundus！
Idonotmeanthatitkilledus，butitdrainedus。Itdidnotceasetobebeautiful，butweceasedtobeoverpowered。Whenthedaybegan，eyeandsoulwerefilledwiththelightthatneverwasonseaorshore。Wespokelowandlittle，gazingwiththrobbinghearts，breathless，receptive，solemn，andbeforetwelveo\'clockweflattedoutandmadejests。Thisishumiliation，——thatourdullardsoulscannotkeepuptothepitchofsublimityfortwohours；thatwecouldsailthroughGloryandBeauty，throughPastandPresent，andlaugh。LowasIsankwiththerest，though，IdobelieveIheldoutthelongest:butwhatcanonefrailpebbledoagainstariver？
\"Howprettycowslookinalandscape，\"Isaid；foryouknow，evenifyoumustcomedown，itisbettertorolldownaninclinedplanethantodropoveraprecipice；andIthought，sinceIsawthatdescentwasinevitable，Iwouldatleastengineerthepartygentlythroughaestheticstopuns。SoI
said，\"Howprettycowslookinalandscape，socalmandreflective，andsheepharmoniouslyhappyinthesummer-tide。\"
\"Yes，\"saidtheAnakim，whoisNewHampshireborn；\"butyououghttoseetheNewHampshiresheep，ifyouwanttherealarticle。\"
\"Idon\'t，\"Iresponded。\"Ionlywantthepicture。\"
\"EvernoticethedifferencebetweenVermontandNewHampshiresheep？\"struckupHalicarnassus，whomustalwaysputinhisoar。
\"No，\"Isaid，\"andIdon\'tbelievethereisany。\"
\"Pooh！TellNewHampshiresheepasfaroffasyoucansee\'em，\"hepersisted，\"bytheirshortlegsandlongnoses。Shortlegstobring\'emnearthegrass，andlongnosestopokeundertherocksandgetit。\"
\"Yes，myboy，yes，\"saidtheAnakimpleasantly。\"IOU1\"
\"Hehathmadeeverythingbeautifulinhistime，\"murmuredGrande，partlybecause，gazingatthedistantprospect，shethoughtso，andpartlyasapraiseworthyattempt，inherturn，topluckusoutofthesloughintowhichwehadfallen。
\"Ihaveheard，\"saidHalicarnassus，whoisalwayslugginginlittlescrapsofinformationapropostoeverything，——\"IhavebeentoldthatDr。AlexanderwassogreatanadmireroftheProverbsofSolomon，thatheusedtoreadthemovereverythreemonths。\"
\"Ibegyourpardon，\"Iinterposed，gladoftheopportunitytocorrectandhumiliatehim，\"butthatwasnotoneoftheProverbsofSolomon。\"
\"Whosaiditwas？\"askedtheGrandMogul，savagely。
\"Nobody；butyouthoughtitwaswhenshesaidit，\"answeredhisantagonist，coolly。
\"Andwhoseproverbisit，myLadySuperior？\"
\"ItisinEcclesiastes，\"Isaid。
\"Well，EcclesiastesisnextdoortoSolomon。It\'sallone。\"
Halicarnassuscancreepthroughthesmallestknot-holeofanymanofhissizeithaseverbeenmylottomeet，providedthereisanythingontheothersidehewishestogetat。Ifthereisnot，andespeciallyifanythingistherewhichhewishestoshun，afourhundredandfiftypoundercannotcrashaholelargeenoughforyoutopushhimthrough。BysuchapitifulchinkasthatdidhisInfallibleHighnesswrigglehimselfoutoftherangeofmyguns，andpursuehislineofremark。
\"ButIreallycannotsaythatIhavebeenabletodetecttheexcessivesuperiorityofSolomon\'sproverbs。Ifitwerenotforthenameofit，IthinkSanchoPanza\'smuchbetter。\"
\"Taisez-vous。Holdyourtongue，\"Isaid，withoutmitigation。
IfthereisanythingIcannotawaywith，itistrivialapostasy。Itoleratelatitudinarianismwhenitishereditary。
Wherepeople\'sfathersandmothersbeforethemhavebeenPagans，andCatholics，andMohammedans，youdon\'tblameTHEM
forbeingso。Youregrettheirerror，andstrivetoleadthembackintotherightpath；onlytheyarenotinflammatory。Buttohavepeoplegooutfromthefaithoftheirfatherswithmaliceaforethoughtandtheireyesopen——well，thatisnotexactlywhatImeaneither。Thatisasorrowful，butnotnecessarilyanexasperatingthing。WhatImeanisthis:I
seepeopleOrthodoxfromtheircradles，andprobablyonlyfromtheircradles，certainlynotfromtheirbrains，whothinkitissomethingprettytobecomeUnitarianistic。Theydon\'tbecomeUnitarians，astheyneverwereOrthodox，becausetheyhavenotthoughtenoughorsenseenoughtobecomeortobeanything；buttheyliketomakeastirandattractattention。
Theyseemtothinkitindicatesgreatliberalityofcharacter，andgreatbreadthofview，tobecontinuallyflingingoutagainsttheirownfaith，ridiculingthis，that，andtheotherpointheldbytheirChurch，andshockingdevoutandsimple-mindedOrthodoxbytheirquasi-profanity。NowforgoodOrthodoxChristiansIhaveagreatrespect；andforgoodUnitarianChristiansIhaveagreatrespect；andforsincere，sadseekers，whocanfindnorestforthesoleoftheirfoot，Ihaveagreatrespect；butfortheseBorderStatemen，whoareneitherherenorthere，onwhomyounevercanlayyourhand，becausetheyaretwitteringeverywhere，Ihaveaprofoundcontempt。Iwishpeopletobeeitheronethingoranother。
Idesirethemtobelievesomething，andknowwhatitis，andsticktoit。Ihavenopatiencewiththismodernoutcryagainstcreeds。Youhearpeopleinveighagainstthem，withoutforamomentthinkingwhattheyare。Theytalkasifcreedsweretheheadandfrontofhumanoffending，theinfalliblesignofbigotryandhypocrisy，incompatiblealikewithpietyandwisdom。Donotthesewisemenknowthatthethinkersanddoersoftheearth，inoverwhelmingmajority，havebeencreedmen？
Creedsmayexistwithoutreligion，butneitherreligion，norphilosophy，norpolitics，norsociety，canexistwithoutcreeds。Theremustbeacreedinthehead，ortherecannotbereligionintheheart。YoumustbelievethatDeityexists，beforeyoucanreverenceDeity。Youmustbelieveinthefactofhumanity，oryoucannotloveyourfellows。Acreedisbuttheconcentration，thecrystallization，ofbelief。Truthisofbutlittleworthtillitissocrystallized。Truthlyingdissolvedinoceansoferrorandnonsenseandignorancemakesbutafeeblediluent。Itswasheseverywhere，buttodeluge，nottobenefit。Precipitateit，andyouhavethesaltoftheearth。Politicalopposition，inorganic，isbutablind，cumbrous，awkward，inefficientthing；butconstructaplatform，andimmediatelyitbecomeslithe，efficient，powerful。Evenbeforetheysetfootontheserudeshores，ourforefathersmadeacompact，andanationwasborninthatday。Itisoncreedsthatstrongmenarenourished，andthatwhichnourishestheleadersintoeminenceisnecessarytokeepthemassesfromsinking。Amanwhoreallythinks，willthinkhiswayintolight。Hemayturnmanyasomersault，buthewillcomerightsideupatlast。Butpeopleingeneraldonotthink，andiftheyrefusetobewalledinbyotherpeople\'sthoughts，theyinevitablyflopandflounderintopitiableprostration。Soimportantisit，thatapoorcreedisbetterthannoneatall。
Truth，evenadulteratedaswegetit，isatonic。Bringforwardsomethingtangible，somethingpositive，somethingthatmeanssomething，anditwilldo。Butthisflowery，misty，dreamyhumanitarianism，——Isayhumanitarianism，becauseIdon\'tknowwhatthatis，andIdon\'tknowwhatthethingIamdrivingatis，soIputthetwounknownquantitiestogetherinamathematicalhopethatminusintominusmaygiveplus，——thismilk-and-waterymuddleofdrearynegations，thatremitstheworldtoitsoriginalfluidicstateofchaos，Ispewitoutofmymouth。ItwasnotonsuchpapourCaesarsfedthatmadethemgrowsogreat。IbelievethatthecommonpeopleofearlyNewEnglandweresuchlustymen，becausetheystrengthenedthemselvesbygnawingattheirtougholdcreeds。Giveonesomethingtobelieve，andhecangetatitandbelieveit；butsetoutbuttingyourheadagainstnothing，andthechancesarethatyouwillbreakyourneck。TakeagoodstoutChristian，oragoodsturdyPagan，andyoufindsomethingtobringupagainst；butwithnebulousvapidistsyouarealwaysslumpingthroughandsprawlingeverywhere。
Ofcourse，Idonotmeanthatsincereandsensiblepeopleneverchangenormodifytheirfaith。Iwishtosay，foritsemphasis，ifyouwillallowme，thattheyneverdoanythingelse；butgenerallythechangeisagradualandnaturalone，——
agrowth，notaconvulsion，——areformation，notarevolution。
Whenitisotherwise，itisaseriousmatter，nottobelightlydoneorflippantlydiscussed。Ifyoureallyhadareligiousbelief，itthrewoutrootsandrootletsthroughallyourlife。
Itsuckedinstrengthfromeverysource。Itintertwineditselfthroughloveandlabor，throughsufferingandsong，abouteveryfibreofyoursoul。Youcannotpullitupordigitup，orinanywaydisplaceit，withoutsettingtheveryfoundationsofyourlifea-quivering。True，itmaybebestthatyoushoulddothis。Ifitwasbutacumbereroftheground，tearitup，rootandbranch，andplantinitssteadtheseedsofthattreewhoseleavesareforthehealingofthenations。Butsuchthingsaredonewithcircumspection，——notasuntoman。Ifyouaregayandjovialaboutit，ifyoufeelnodartsoftortureflashingthroughbefastnessesofyourlife，donotflatteryourselfthatyouaremakingradicalchanges。Youareonlypullinguppig-weedtosetoutsmart-weed，andthelessyousayaboutitthebetter。
NowHalicarnassusisreallyjustasOrthodoxasI。HewouldnotlieorstealanyquickerthanI。Hewouldnotwillinglysacrificeonejotortittleofhisfaith，andyetheisalwaysstartlingyouwithsmallheresies。Heislikeacalftiedtoatreeintheorchardbyalongrope。IntheexuberanceofhisgleeBossystartsfromthepost，tailup，inahandgallop。
Youwouldthink，fromthewayhesetsout，thathewasgoingtoracearoundthewholeorchard，andprobablyhethinksheishimself。Butbythetimeheisfairlyunderfullheadway，hisropetightensupwithajerk，andawayhegoesheelsoverhead。
Theonlydifferenceis，thatHalicarnassusknowsthelengthofhistether，andalwaysfetchesupintimetoescapeanoverturn；butotherpeopledonotknowit，andtheyimagineheisgoingpell-mellintoinfidelity。NowIwasdeterminedtohavenoneofthistrashinasteamboat。Onehasnodesiretoencountersuperfluousrisksinacountrywherelifeandlimbareheldonsouncertainatenureasinthis。TherearequitechancesenoughofshipwreckwithouthavinganyJonahsaboard。
Besides，inpointofthefinearts，heterodoxyisworsethanpuns。SoIheadedhimoffatthefirstonset。ButIshouldnothavebeensoentirelysuccessfulintheattempthadInotbeenassistedbyapairofbirdswhocametodistracthisandourattentionfromaneighboringthicket。Theywheeled——thegentle，graceful，sly，tantalizingthings——incirclesandellipses，nowskimmingalongthesurfaceofthewater，nowswoopingawayingreatsmoothcurves，thendartingoffinheadlongflightandpursuit。\"Mykingdomforagun！\"exclaimedHalicarnassuswithamateurardor。
\"Iamgladyouhavenogun，\"saidcompassionateGrande。\"Whyshouldyoukillthem？\"
\"Donotbealarmed，\"Isaid，soothingly，\"adistaffwouldbeasdeadlyinhishands。\"
\"Doyouspeakbythebook，Omphale？\"askedtheAnakim，whostillcarriedthoseNewHampshiresheeponhisback。
\"Wewenta-duckingoncedowninSwampshire，\"Ianswered。
\"Didyoucatchany？\"queriedGrande。
\"Duckings？no，\"saidHalicarnassus。
\"Norduckseither，\"Iadded。\"Hemadegreatadowithhisguns，andhispouches，andhisfanfaronade，andknockingmewithhiselbowsandtellingmetokeepstill，whennomousecouldbemorestillthanI，andafterallhedidnotcatchone。\"
\"Onlyfiredonceortwice，\"saidHalicarnassus，\"justforfun，andtoshowherhowtodoit。\"
\"Hownottodoit，youmean，\"saidtheAnakim。
\"Youfiredfortytimes，\"Isaidquietly，butfirmly，\"andtheduckswouldcomeoutandlookatyouasinterestedascouldbe。
Youknowyoudidn\'tscarealittlemeadow-hen。Theyknewyoucouldn\'thit。\"
\"Tradeoffyourducksagainstmysheep，andcalliteven？\"
chuckledtheAnakim；andso，chattingandhappy，weglidedalong，enjoying，notentranced，comfortable，butnotsublime，contenttodrinkinthesunnysweetnessofthesummerday，happyonlyfromthepleasantsenseofbeing，tanglingeachotherinsillytalkoutofmerewantonness，purlingupbubblesofairynothingsinsheereffervescenceofanimaldelight；
fallingintoperiodicfitsofusefulknowledge，undertheinfluenceofwhichweconsultedourmapsandourwatchesinaconjointandclamorousendeavortolocateourselves，whichwouldnosoonerbesatisfactorilyaccomplishedthansomethingwouldturnupandsetourcalculationsandislandsadrift，andwewouldhavetobeginnew。DomeIslandwemadeoutbyitsshape，unquestionably；Whortleberrywehazardedonthestrengthofitsbushes；\"HenandChicks，\"byabiggishislandbroodinghalfadozenlittleones；FleaIsland，fromacertainsnappishnessofaspect；Half-WayIsland，byourdistancefromdinner；Anthony\'sNose，byitsunlikenesstoanythingelse，certainlynotfromitsresemblancetonosesingeneral，letalonetheindividualnoseofMarkAntony，orMadAnthony，oranyAnthonybetween。Andthenwedisembarkedandpostedourselvesonthecoach-topforasix-mileridetoChamplain；
andGrandesaid，herfacestillburiedinthemap，\"Hereontheleftis\'TroutBrook\'runningintothelake，andacrossonit，and\'Lt。Howefell，1758。\'Thatisworthseeing。\"
\"Yes，\"Isaid，\"Americalovedhisbrother。\"
\"AmericalovedHIM，\"howledHalicarnassus，thinkingtocorrectmeandavengehimself。NowIknewquitewellthatAmericalovedhim，anddidnotlovehisbrother，butwiththementionofhisnamecameintomymindthetender，grievedsurpriseofthatpatheticlittleappeal，andIjustsaidthoughtitaloud，——
assuminghistoricknowledgeenoughinmylistenerstopreventmisconception。ButtothisdayHalicarnassuspersistsinthinkingoratleastinasserting，thatItrippedoverLordHowe。Ashedoesnotoftengetsuchachance，Ilethimcomforthimselfwithitasmuchashecan；butthatisthewaywithyourwhippersnappercritics。Theyputontheir\"specs，\"
andpouncedownuponsomemicroscopicmote，whichtheythinktobeignorance，butwhichisreallythediamond-dustofimagination。\"Butletusseetheplace，\"saidGrande。\"Wemustdrivewithinsightofit。\"