\"Butprevention，\"IheardMargaretbehindme，\"istheessenceofourwork。\"
Iturned。\"There\'snopreventionbuteducation。There\'snoantisepticsinlifebutloveandfinethinking。Makepeoplefine，makefinepeople。Don\'tbeafraid。TheseToryleadersarebetterpeopleindividuallythantheaverage；whycastthemforthevillainsofthepiece？Therealvillaininthepiece——inthewholehumandrama——isthemuddle-headedness，anditmattersverylittleifit\'svirtuous-mindedorwicked。Iwanttogetatmuddle-headedness。IfIcoulddothatIcouldletallthatyoucallwickednessintheworldrunaboutanddowhatitjollywellpleased。Itwouldmatteraboutasmuchasaslightlyneglecteddog——inanotherwisewell-
managedhome。\"
Mythoughtshadrunawaywithme。
\"Ican\'tunderstandyou，\"saidMargaret，intheprofoundestdistress。\"Ican\'tunderstandhowitisyouarecomingtoseethingslikethis。\"
10
Themoodsofathinkingmaninpoliticsarecuriouslyevasiveanddifficulttodescribe。Neitherthepublicnorthehistorianwillpermitthestatesmanmoods。HehasfromthefirsttoassumehehasanAim，adefiniteAim，andtopretendtoanabsoluteconsistencywiththat。Thosesubtlequestioningsabouttheveryfundamentalsoflifewhichplagueusallsorelentlesslynowadaysaresupposedtobesilenced。HeliftshischinandpursueshisAimexplicitlyinthesightofallmen。Thosewhohavenorealpoliticalexperiencecanscarcelyimaginetheimmensementalandmoralstrainthereisbetweenone\'severydayactsandutterancesontheonehandandthe\"thinking-out\"processontheother。Itisperplexinglydifficulttokeepinyourmind，fixedandfirm，aschemeessentiallycomplex，tokeepbalancingaswayingpossibilitywhileatthesametimeunderjealous，hostile，andstupidobservationyoutreadyourpartintheplatitudinous，quarrelsome，ill-presentedmarchofaffairs……
Themostimpossibleofallautobiographiesisanintellectualautobiography。IhavethrowntogetherinthecrudestwaytheelementsoftheproblemIstruggledwith，butIcangivenorecordofthesubtledetails；IcantellnothingofthelongvacillationsbetweenProteanvalues，thetalksandre-talks，themeditations，thebleakluciditiesofsleeplessnights……
AndyetthesethingsIhavestruggledwithmustbethoughtout，and，tobeginwith，theymustbethoughtoutinthismuddled，experimentingway。Togointoastudytothinkaboutstatecraftistoturnyourbackontherealitiesyouareconstantlyneedingtofeelandtestandsoundifyourthinkingistoremainvital；tochooseanaimandpursueitindespiteofallsubsequentquestioningsistoburythetalentofyourmind。Itisnousedealingwiththeintricateasthoughitweresimple，toleaphaphazardatthefirstcourseofactionthatpresentsitself；thewholeworldofpoliticiansisfartoolikeamanwhosnatchesapokertoafailingwatch。Itiseasytosayhewantsto\"getsomethingdone，\"buttheonlysanethingtodoforthemomentistoputasidethatpokerandtakethoughtandgetabetterimplement……
OneoftheresultsofthesefundamentalpreoccupationsofminewasacuriousirritabilitytowardsMargaretthatIfounddifficulttoconceal。Itwasoneoftheincidentalcrueltiesofourpositionthatthisshouldhappen。Iwasinsuchdoubtmyself，thatIhadnopowertophrasethingsforherinaformshecoulduse。HithertoI
hadstage-managedour\"serious\"conversations。NowIwastoomuchinearnestandtoouncertaintogoondoingthis。Iavoidedtalkwithher。Herserene，sustainedconfidenceinvagueformulaeandsentimentalaspirationsexasperatedme；herwantofsympatheticapprehensionmademyfeweffortstoindicatemychangingattitudesdistressingandfutile。Itwasn\'tthatIwasalwaysthinkingright，andthatshewasalwayssayingwrong。ItwasthatIwasstrugglingtogetholdofadifficultthingthatwas，atanyrate，halftrue，I
couldnotgaugehowtrue，andthatMargaret\'shabitualphrasingignoredtheseelusiveelementsoftruth，andwithoutpremeditationfittedintotheweaknessesofmynewintimations，asthoughtheyhadnothingbutweaknesses。Itwas，forexample，obviousthatthesebigpeople，whowerethebackboneofImperialismandConservatism，weretemperamentallylax，muchmoreindolent，muchmoresensuous，thanourdeliberatelyvirtuousYoungLiberals。Ididn\'twanttoberemindedofthat，justwhenIwasinfullefforttorealisethefinerelementsintheircomposition。Margaretclassedthemanddisposedofthem。Itwasourincurabledifferencesinhabitsandgesturesofthoughtcomingbetweenusagain。
Thedesertofmisunderstandingwidened。Iwasforcedbackuponmyselfandmyownsecretcouncils。ForatimeIwentmywayalone；
anunmixedevilforbothofus。ExceptforthatPentagramevening，aseriesoftalkswithIsabelRivers，whowasnowbecomingmoreandmoreimportantinmyintellectuallife，andtheargumentsI
maintainedwithCrupp，Ineverreallyopenedmymindatallduringthatperiodofindecisions，slowabandonments，andslowacquisitions。
CHAPTERTHETHIRD
SECESSION
1
Atlast，outofavastaccumulationofimpressions，decisiondistilledquitesuddenly。IsuccumbedtoEveshamandthatdreamoftherightthingtriumphantthroughexpression。IdeterminedIwouldgoovertotheConservatives，andusemyeverygiftandpoweronthesideofsuchforcesonthatsideasmadeforeducationalreorganisation，scientificresearch，literature，criticism，andintellectualdevelopment。Thatwasin1909。IjudgedtheToriesweredrivingstraightataconflictwiththecountry，andIthoughtthemboundtoincuranelectoraldefeat。Iunder-estimatedtheirstrengthinthecounties。Therewouldfollow，Icalculated，aperiodofprofoundreconstructioninmethodandpolicyalike。IwasentirelyatonewithCruppinperceivinginthisanimmenseopportunityforthethingswedesired。Anaristocracyquickenedbyconflictandonthedefensive，andfulloftheideaofjustificationbyreconstruction，mightprovealtogethermoreaptforthoughtandhighprofessionsthanMrs。Redmondson\'sspoiltchildren。BehindthenowinevitablestruggleforareformoftheHouseofLords，therewouldbegreatheartsearchingsandeducationalendeavour。Onthatwereckoned……
Atlastwetalkeditouttothepracticalpitch，andCruppandShoesmith，andIandGane，madeourdefiniteagreementtogether……
IemergedfromenormoussilencesuponMargaretoneevening。
ShewasjustbackfromthedisplayofsomenewmusiciansattheHartsteins。Iremembersheworeadressofgoldensatin，veryrich-
lookingandsplendid。Aboutherslendernecktherewasaropeofgold-setamberbeads。Herhaircaughtupandechoedandreturnedthesegoldennotes。I，too，wasineveningdress，butwhereIhadbeenescapesme，——someforgottendinner，Isuppose。Iwentintoherroom。IrememberIdidn\'tspeakforsomemoments。Iwentacrosstothewindowandpulledtheblindaside，andlookedoutupontherailedgardenofthesquare，withitsshrubsandshadowedturfgleamingpallidlyandirregularlyinthelightofthebigelectricstandardinthecorner。
\"Margaret，\"Isaid，\"IthinkIshallbreakwiththeparty。\"
Shemadenoanswer。Iturnedpresently，amovementofenquiry。
\"Iwasafraidyoumeanttodothat，\"shesaid。
\"I\'moutoftouch，\"Iexplained。\"Altogether。\"
\"Oh！Iknow。\"
\"Itplacesmeinadifficultposition，\"Isaid。
Margaretstoodatherdressing-table，lookingsteadfastlyatherselfintheglass，andwithherfingersplayingwithalitterofstopperedbottlesoftintedglass。\"Iwasafraiditwascomingtothis，\"shesaid。
\"Inaway，\"Isaid，\"we\'vebeenallies。Iowemyseattoyou。I
couldn\'thavegoneintoParliament……\"
\"Idon\'twantconsiderationslikethattoaffectus，\"sheinterrupted。
Therewasapause。Shesatdowninachairbyherdressing-table，liftedanivoryhand-glass，andputitdownagain。
\"Iwish，\"shesaid，withsomethinglikeasobinhervoice，\"itwerepossiblethatyoushouldn\'tdothis。\"Shestoppedabruptly，andI
didnotlookather，becauseIcouldfeeltheeffortshewasmakingtocontrolherself。
\"Ithought，\"shebeganagain，\"whenyoucameintoParliament——\"
Therecameanothersilence。\"It\'sallgonesodifferently，\"shesaid。\"Everythinghasgonesodifferently。\"
Ihadasuddenmemoryofher，shiningtriumphantaftertheKinghampsteadelection，andforthefirsttimeIrealisedjusthowperplexinganddisappointingmysubsequentcareermusthavebeentoher。
\"I\'mnotdoingthiswithoutconsideration，\"Isaid。
\"Iknow，\"shesaid，inavoiceofdespair，\"I\'veseenitcoming。
But——Istilldon\'tunderstandit。Idon\'tunderstandhowyoucangoover。\"
\"Myideashavechangedanddeveloped，\"Isaid。
Iwalkedacrosstoherbearskinhearthrug，andstoodbythemantel。
\"Tothinkthatyou，\"shesaid；\"youwhomighthavebeenleader——\"
Shecouldnotfinishit。\"Alltheforcesofreaction，\"shethrewout。
\"Idon\'tthinktheyaretheforcesofreaction，\"Isaid。\"IthinkI
canfindworktodo——betterworkonthatside。\"
\"Againstus！\"shesaid。\"Asifprogresswasn\'thardenough！Asifitdidn\'tcalluponeveryableman！\"
\"Idon\'tthinkLiberalismhasamonopolyofprogress。\"
Shedidnotanswerthat。Shesatquitestilllookinginfrontofher。\"WHYhaveyougoneover？\"sheaskedabruptlyasthoughIhadsaidnothing。
TherecameasilencethatIwasimpelledtoend。Ibeganastiffdissertationfromthehearthrug。\"Iamgoingover，becauseIthinkImayjoininanintellectualrenascenceontheConservativeside。
Ithinkthatinthecomingstruggletherewillbeapartialandaltogetherconfusedanddemoralisingvictoryfordemocracy，thatwillstirtheclasseswhichnowdominatetheConservativepartyintoanenergeticrevival。Theywillsetouttowinback，andwinback。
Evenifmyestimateofcon-temporaryforcesiswrongandtheywin，theywillstillbeforcedtoreconstructtheiroutlook。Awarabroadwillsupplythechasteningifhomepoliticsfail。Theeffortatrenascenceisboundtocomebyeitheralternative。IbelieveI
candomoreinrelationtothateffortthaninanyotherconnexionintheworldofpoliticsatthepresenttime。That\'smycase，Margaret。\"
ShecertainlydidnotgraspwhatIsaid。\"Andsoyouwillthrowasideallthebeginnings，allthebeliefsandpledges——\"Againhersentenceremainedincomplete。\"Idoubtifeven，onceyouhavegoneover，theywillwelcomeyou。\"
\"Thathardlymatters。\"
Imadeanefforttoresumemyspeech。
\"IcameintoParliament，Margaret，\"Isaid，\"alittleprematurely。
Still——IsupposeitwasonlybycomingintoParliamentthatIcouldseethingsasIdonowintermsofpersonalityandimaginativerange……\"Istopped。Herstiff，unhappy，unlisteningsilencebrokeupmydisquisition。
\"Afterall，\"Iremarked，\"mostofthishasbeenimplicitinmywritings。\"
Shemadenosignofadmission。
\"Whatareyougoingtodo？\"sheasked。
\"Keepmyseatforatimeandmakethereasonsofmybreachclear。
TheneitherImustresignor——probablythisnewBudgetwillleadtoaGeneralElection。It\'sevidentlymeanttostraintheLordsandprovokeaquarrel。\"
\"Youmight，Ithink，havestayedtofightfortheBudget。\"
\"I\'mnot，\"Isaid，\"sokeenagainsttheLords。\"
Onthatwehalted。
\"Butwhatareyougoingtodo？\"sheasked。
\"IshallmakemyquarreloversomepointsintheBudget。Ican\'tquitetellyouyetwheremychancewillcome。ThenIshalleitherresignmyseat——orifthingsdrifttodissolutionIshallstandagain。\"
\"It\'spoliticalsuicide。\"
\"Notaltogether。\"
\"Ican\'timagineyououtofParliamentagain。It\'sjustlike——likeundoingallwehavedone。Whatwillyoudo？\"
\"Write。Makeanew，moredefiniteplaceformyself。Youknow，ofcourse，there\'salreadyasortofgroupaboutCruppandGane。\"
Margaretseemedlostforatimeinpainfulthought。
\"Forme，\"shesaidatlast，\"ourpoliticalworkhasbeenareligion——
ithasbeenmorethanareligion。\"
Iheardinsilence。Ihadnoformofprotestavailableagainsttheimplicationsofthat。
\"AndthenIfindyouturningagainstallweaimedtodo——talkingofgoingover，almostlightly——tothoseothers。\"……
Shewaswhite-lippedasshespoke。Inthemostcuriouswayshehadcapturedthemoralvaluesofthesituation。Ifoundmyselfprotestingineffectuallyagainstherfixedconviction。\"It\'sbecauseIthinkmydutyliesinthischangethatImakeit，\"Isaid。
\"Idon\'tseehowyoucansaythat，\"sherepliedquietly。
Therewasanotherpausebetweenus。
\"Oh！\"shesaidandclenchedherhanduponthetable。\"Thatitshouldhavecometothis！\"
Shewasextraordinarilydignifiedandextraordinarilyabsurd。Shewashurtandthwartedbeyondmeasure。Shehadnoplaceinherideas，Ithought，forme。Icouldseehowitappearedtoher，butI
couldnotmakeherseeanythingoftheintricateprocessthathadbroughtmetothisdivergence。Theoppositionofourintellectualtemperamentswaslikeagaginmymouth。Whatwasthereformetosay？Aflashofintuitiontoldmethatbehindherwhitedignitywasapassionatedisappointment，ashatteringofdreamsthatneededbeforeeverythingelsethereliefofweeping。
\"I\'vetoldyou，\"Isaidawkwardly，\"assoonasIcould。\"
Therewasanotherlongsilence。\"Sothatishowwestand，\"Isaidwithanairofhavingthingsdefined。Iwalkedslowlytothedoor。
Shehadrisenandstoodnowstaringinfrontofher。
\"Good-night，\"Isaid，makingnomovementtowardsourhabitualkiss。
\"Good-night，\"sheansweredinatragicnote……
Iclosedthedoorsoftly。Iremainedforamomentorsoonthebiglanding，hesitatingbetweenmybedroomandmystudy。AsIdidsoI
heardthesoftrustleofhermovementandtheclickofthekeyinherbedroomdoor。Theneverythingwasstill……
Shehidhertearsfromme。Somethinggrippedmyheartatthethought。
\"Damnation！\"Isaidwincing。\"Whythedevilcan\'tpeopleatleastTHINKinthesamemanner？\"
2
Andthatinsufficientcolloquywasthebeginningofaprolongedestrangementbetweenus。Itwascharacteristicofourrelationsthatweneverreopenedthediscussion。Thethinghadbeenintheairforsometime；wehadrecogniseditnow；thewideningbreachbetweenuswasconfessed。Myownfeelingswerecuriouslydivided。
ItisremarkablethatmyveryrealaffectionforMargaretonlybecameevidenttomewiththisquarrel。Thechangesoftheheartareverysubtlechanges。Iamquiteunawarehoworwhenmyearlyromanticloveforherpurityandbeautyandhigh-principleddevotionevaporatedfrommylife；butIdoknowthatquiteearlyinmyparliamentarydaystherehadcomeavague，unconfessedresentmentatthetiethatseemedtoholdmeinservitudetoherstandardsofprivatelivingandpublicact。IfeltIwascaught，andnonethelesssobecauseithadbeenmyownacttorivetonmyshackles。SolongasIstillheldmyselfboundtoherthatresentmentgrew。Now，sinceIhadbrokenmybondsandtakenmylineitwitheredagain，andIcouldthinkofMargaretwithareturningkindliness。
ButIstillfeltembarrassmentwithher。Ifeltmyselfdependentuponherforhouseroomandfoodandsocialsupport，asitwereunderfalsepretences。Iwouldhavelikedtohaveseparatedourfinancialaffairsaltogether。ButIknewthattoraisetheissuewouldhaveseemedalastbrutalindelicacy。SoItriedalmostfurtivelytokeepmypersonalexpenditurewithinthescopeoftheprivateincomeImadebywriting，andwewentouttogetherinhermotorbrougham，dinedandmadeappearances，metpolitelyatbreakfast——partedatnightwithakissuponhercheek。Thelockingofherdooruponme，whichatthattimeIquiteunderstood，whichI
understandnow，becameforatimeinmymind，throughsomeobscureprocessofthesoul，anoffence。Inevercrossedthelandingtoherroomagain。
Inallthismatter，and，indeed，inallmyrelationswithMargaret，IperceivenowIbehavedbadlyandfoolishly。MymanifestblunderisthatI，whowasseveralyearsolderthanshe，muchsubtlerandinmanywayswiser，neverinanymeasuresoughttoguideandcontrolher。AfterourmarriageItreatedheralwaysasanequal，andlethergoherway；heldherresponsibleforalltheweakandineffectiveandunfortunatethingsshesaidanddidtome。Shewasn\'tcleverenoughtojustifythat。Itwasn\'tfairtoexpecthertosympathise，anticipate，andunderstand。Ioughttohavetakencareofher，ropedhertomewhenitcametocrossingthedifficultplaces。IfIhadlovedhermore，andwiselierandmoretenderly，iftherehadnotbeentheconsciousnessofmyfinancialdependenceonheralwaysstiffeningmypride，Ithinkshewouldhavemovedwithmefromtheoutset，andlefttheLiberalswithme。ButshedidnotgetanyinklingoftheendsIsoughtinmychangeofsides。Itmusthaveseemedtoherinexplicableperversity。Shehad，Iknew——forsurelyIknewitthen——animmensecapacityforloyaltyanddevotion。
Thereshewaswiththesetreasuresuntouched，neglectedandperplexed。Awomanwholoveswantstogive。Itisthedutyandbusinessofthemanshehasmarriedforlovetohelphertohelpandgive。ButIwasstupid。Myeyeshadneverbeenopened。Iwasstiffwithheranddifficulttoher，becauseevenonmyweddingmorningtherehadbeen，deepdowninmysoul，voicelessthoughpresent，somethingweaklyprotesting，afaintperceptionofwrong-
doing，theinfinitesimallysmall，slow-multiplyinggermsofshame。
3
ImademybreachwiththepartyontheBudget。
InmanywaysIwasdisposedtoregardthe1909Budgetasafinepieceofstatecraft。ItsproductionwascertainlyaveryunexpecteddisplayofvigourontheLiberalside。But，onthewhole，thismovementtowardscollectivistorganisationonthepartoftheLiberalsratherstrengthenedthanweakenedmyresolvetocrossthefloorofthehouse。Itmadeitmorenecessary，Ithought，toleaventhepurelyobstructiveandreactionaryelementsthatwereatoncemanifestintheopposition。Iassailedthelandtaxationproposalsinonemainspeech，andaseriesofminorspeechesincommittee。
ThelineofattackIchosewasthatthelandwasagreatpublicservicethatneededtobecontrolledonbroadandfar-sightedlines。
Ihadnoobjectiontoitsnationalisation，butIdidobjectmoststrenuouslytotheideaofleavingitinprivatehands，andattemptingtoproducebeneficialsocialresultsthroughthepressureoftaxationupontheland-owningclass。Thatmightbreakitupinanutterlydisastrousway。Thedriftofthegovernmentproposalswasallinthedirectionofsweatingthelandownertogetimmediatevaluesfromhisproperty，andsuchacourseofactionwasboundtogiveusanirritatedandvindictiveland-owningclass，theclassuponwhichwehadhithertorelied——notunjustifiably——forcertainbroad，patrioticservicesandaninfluenceuponourcollectivejudgmentsthatnootherclassseemedpreparedtoexercise。Abolishlandlordismifyouwill，Isaid，buyitout，butdonotdriveittoadefensivefight，andleaveitstillsufficientlystrongandwealthytobecomeamalcontentelementinyourstate。YouhavetaxedandcontrolledthebrewerandthepublicanuntiltheoutragedLiquorInteresthasbecomeanationaldanger。Younowproposetodothesamethingonalargerscale。Youturnaclasswhichhasmanyfineandtrulyaristocratictraditionstowardsrevolt，andthereisnothingintheseoranyotherofyourproposalsthatshowsanysenseoftheneedforleadershiptoreplacethesetraditionalleadersyouareousting。Thiswasthesubstanceofmycase，andIhammeredatitnotonlyintheHouse，butinthepress……
TheKinghampsteaddivisionremainedforsometimeinsensitivetomydefection。
Thenitwokeupsuddenly，andbegan，inthecolumnsoftheKINGSHAMPSTEADGUARDIAN，anindignant，confusedoutcry。Iwastreatedtoanopenletter，signedJuniusSecundus，\"andIrepliedinprovocativeterms。Thereweretwothinlyattendedpublicmeetingsatdifferentendsoftheconstituency，andthenIhadacorrespondencewithmyoldfriendParvill，thephotographer，whichendedinmyseeingadeputation。
Myimpressionisthatitconsistedofabouteighteenortwentypeople。Theyhadhadtocomeupstairstomeandtheyweremanifestlyfullofindignationandalittleshortofbreath。TherewasParvillhimself，J。P。，dressedwhollyinblack——Ithinktomarkhissenseoftheoccasion——andcuriouslysuggestiveinhisrespectformycharacterandhisconcernforthehonourablenessoftheKINGHAMPSTEADGUARDIANeditor，ofMarkAntonyatthefuneralofCesar。TherewasMrs。Bulger，alsoinmourning；shehadneverabandonedthewidow\'sstreamerssincethedeathofherhusbandtenyearsago，andherloyaltytoLiberalismoftheseveresttypewaspartasitwereofherweeds。TherewasanephewofSirRoderickNewton，abrightyoungHebrewofthegravertype，andacoupleofdissentingministersinhighcollarsandhatsthatstoppedhalfwaybetweenthebowlerofthisworldandtheshovel-hatofheaven。
TherewasalsoayoungsolicitorfromLurkydoneinthehorseystyle，andtherewasaverylittlenervousmanwithahighbrowandafacecontractingbelowasthoughthejawbonesandteethhadbeentakenoutandthefeaturescompressed。Therestofthedeputation，whichincludedtwootherpublic-spiritedladiesandseveralministersofreligion，mighthavebeenrakedoutofanyomnibusgoingStrandwardduringtheMaymeetings。TheythrustParvillforwardasspokesman，andmanifestedastrongdispositiontosay\"Hear，hear！\"tohismorestrenuousprotestsprovidedmyeyewasn\'tuponthematthetime。
IregardedthisappallingdeputationasParvill\'sapologeticbutquitedefiniteutterancesdrewtoanend。Ihadamomentofvision。
BehindthemIsawthewonderfularrayofskeletonforcesthatstandforpublicopinion，thatareasmuchpublicopinionasexistsindeedatthepresenttime。Thewholeprocessofpoliticswhichbulkssosolidlyinhistoryseemedforthatclairvoyantinstantbutafrothofpettymotivesaboveabysmsofindifference……
Someonehadfinished。IperceivedIhadtospeak。
\"Verywell，\"Isaid，\"Iwon\'tkeepyoulonginreplying。I\'llresignifthereisn\'tadissolutionbeforenextFebruary，andifthereisIshan\'tstandagain。Youdon\'twantthebotherandexpenseofabye-electionapprovingmurmursifitcanbeavoided。
ButImaytellyouplainlynowthatIdon\'tthinkitwillbenecessaryformetoresign，andthesooneryoufindmysuccessorthebetterfortheparty。TheLordsareinacorner；they\'vegottofightnowornever，andIthinktheywillthrowouttheBudget。
Thentheywillgoonfighting。Itisafightthatwilllastforyears。Theyhaveasortofsocialdiscipline，andyouhaven\'t。YouLiberalswillfindyourselveswithacountrybehindyou，vaguelyindignantperhaps，buttotallyunpreparedwithanyideaswhateverinthematter，facetofacewiththeproblemofbringingtheBritishconstitutionup-to-date。Anythingmayhappen，providedonlythatitissufficientlyabsurd。IftheKingbackstheLords——andIdon\'tseewhyheshouldn\'t——youhavenoRepublicanmovementwhatevertofallbackupon。YoulostitduringtheEraofGoodTaste。Thecountry，Isay，isdestituteofideas，andyouhavenoideastogiveit。Idon\'tseewhatyouwilldo……Formyownpart，Imeantospendayearorsobetweenawindowandmywritingdesk。\"
Ipaused。\"Ithink，gentlemen，\"beganParvill，\"thatwehearallthiswithverygreatregret……\"
4
MyestrangementfromMargaretstandsinmymemorynowassomethingthatplayeditselfoutwithinthefourwallsofourhouseinRadnorSquare，whichwas，indeed，confinedtothoselimits。IwenttoandfrobetweenmyhouseandtheHouseofCommons，andthedining-roomsandclubsandofficesinwhichwewerepreparingournewdevelopments，inastateofaggressiveandenergeticdissociation，inthenascentstate，asachemistwouldsay。Iwasfreenow，andgreedyforfreshcombination。Ihadatremendoussenseofreleasedenergies。IhadgotbacktothesortofthingIcoulddo，andtotheworkthathadbeenshapingitselfforsolonginmyimagination。
Ourpurposenowwasplain，bold，andextraordinarilycongenial。WemeantnolessthantoorganiseanewmovementinEnglishthoughtandlife，toresuscitateaPublicOpinionandpreparethegroundforarevisedandrenovatedrulingculture。
ForatimeIseemedquitewonderfullyabletodowhateverIwantedtodo。Shoesmithrespondedtomyfirstadvances。Wedecidedtocreateaweeklypaperasournucleus，andCruppandIsettoworkforthwithtocollectagroupofwritersandspeakers，includingEsmeer，Britten，LordGane，Neal，andoneortwoyoungermen，whichshouldconstituteamoreorlessdefiniteeditorialcouncilaboutme，andmeetataweeklylunchonTuesdaytosustainourgeneralco-
operations。WemarkedourclaimuponToryismeveninthecolourofourwrapper，andspokeofourselvescollectivelyastheBlueWeeklies。Butourluncheswereopentoallsortsofguests，andourdeliberationswereneverofacharactertocontrolmeeffectivelyinmyeditorialdecisions。MyonlyinfluentialcouncilloratfirstwasoldBritten，whobecamemysub-editor。Itwascurioushowwetwohadpickedupourancientintimacyagainandresumedtheeasygiveandtakeofourspeculativedreamingschoolboydays。
Foratimemylifecentredaltogetheruponthisjournalisticwork。
Brittenwasanexperiencedjournalist，andIhadmostofthenecessaryinstinctsforthebusiness。Wemeanttomakethepaperrightandgooddowntothesmallestdetail，andwesetourselvesatthiswithextraordinaryzeal。Itwasn\'tourintentiontoshowourpoliticalmotivestoomarkedlyatfirst，andthroughalltheduststormandtumultandstressofthepoliticalstruggleof1910，wemadealittleintellectualoasisofgoodartcriticismandgoodwriting。ItwasthefirmbeliefofnearlyallofusthattheLordsweredestinedtobebeatenbadlyin1910，andourgamewasthelongergameofreconstructionthatwouldbeginwhentheshoutingandtumultofthatimmediateconflictwereover。Meanwhilewehadtogetintotouchwithjustasmanygoodmindsaspossible。
Aswefeltourfeet，Idevelopedslowlyandcarefullyabroadlyconceivedandconsistentpoliticalattitude。AsIwillexplainlater，wewerefeministfromtheoutset，thoughthatcausedShoesmithandGanegreatsearchingofheart；wedevelopedEsmeer\'sHouseofLordsreformschemeintoageneralcultofthearistocraticvirtues，andwedidmuchtohumaniseandliberalisethenarrowexcellenciesofthatBreak-upofthePoorLawagitation，whichhadbeenorganisedoriginallybyBeatriceandSidneyWebb。Inaddition，withoutanyverydefiniteexplanationtoanyonebutEsmeerandIsabelRivers，andasifitwasquiteasmallmatter，Isetmyselftosecureauniformphilosophicalqualityinourcolumns。
That，indeed，wasthepeculiarvirtueandcharacteristicoftheBLUE
WEEKLY。Iwasnowverydefinitelyconvincedthatmuchoftheconfusionandfutilityofcontemporarythoughtwasduetothegeneralneedofmetaphysicaltraining……Thegreatmassofpeople——andnotsimplycommonpeople，butpeopleactiveandinfluentialinintellectualthings——arestillquiteuntrainedinthemethodsofthoughtandabsolutelyinnocentofanycriticismofmethod；itisscarcelyacaricaturetocalltheirthinkingacrazypatchwork，discontinuousandchaotic。Theyarriveatconclusionsbyakindofaccident，anddonotsuspectanyotherwaymaybefoundtotheirattainment。Astageabovethisgeneralconditionstandsthatminorityofpeoplewhohaveatsometimeorotherdiscoveredgeneraltermsandacertainuseforgeneralisations。Theyare——tofallbackontheancienttechnicality——Realistsofacrudesort。WhenIsayRealistofcourseImeanRealistasopposedtoNominalist，andnotRealistinthealmostdiametricallydifferentsenseofoppositiontoIdealist。SucharetheBaileys；such，totaketheirgreatprototype，wasHerbertSpencerwhocouldn\'treadKant；sucharewholeregimentsofprominentandentirelyself-satisfiedcontemporaries。Theygothroughqueerlittleprocessesofdefinitionandgeneralisationanddeductionwiththecompletestbeliefinthevalidityoftheintellectualinstrumenttheyareusing。TheyareRealists——Cocksurists——inmatteroffact；
sentimentalistsinbehaviour。TheBaileyshavinggottothisgloriousstageinmentaldevelopment——itisgloriousbecauseithasnodoubts——werealwaystalkingabouttraining\"Experts\"toapplythesamesimpleprocesstoalltheaffairsofmankind。Well，Realismisn\'tthelastwordofhumanwisdom。Modest-mindedpeople，doubtfulpeople，subtlepeople，andthelike——thekindofpeopleWilliamJameswritesofas\"tough-minded，\"goonbeyondthismethodicalhappiness，andareforeveraftercriticalofpremisesandterms。
Theyaretruer——andlessconfident。Theyhavereachedscepticismandtheartisticmethod。TheyhaveemergedintothenewNominalism。
BothIsabelandIbelievefirmlythatthesedifferencesofintellectualmethodmatterprofoundlyintheaffairsofmankind，thatthecollectivemindofthisintricatecomplexmodernstatecanonlyfunctionproperlyuponneo-Nominalistlines。Thishasalwaysbeenhersideofourmentalco-operationratherthanmine。Hermindhasthelightmovementthatgoessooftenwithnaturalmentalpower；
shehasawonderfulartinillustration，and，asthereaderprobablyknowsalready，shewritesofmetaphysicalmatterswithararecharmandvividness。Sofartherehasbeennocollectionofherpaperspublished，buttheyaretobefoundnotonlyintheBLUEWEEKLY
columnsbutscatteredaboutthemonthlies；manypeoplemustbefamiliarwithherstyle。Itwasanintentionwedidmuchtorealisebeforeourprivatedownfall，thatwewouldusetheBLUEWEEKLYtomaintainastreamofsuggestionagainstcrudethinking，andatlastscarcelyaweekpassedbutsomepopulardistinction，somelargeimposinggeneralisation，wastouchedtoflacciditybyherpenormine……
Iwasatgreatpainstogivemyphilosophical，political，andsocialmatterthebestliteraryandcriticalbackingwecouldgetinLondon。Ihuntedsedulouslyforgooddescriptivewritingandgoodcriticism；Iwasindefatigableinmyreadinesstohearandconsider，ifnottoacceptadvice；Iwatchedeverycornerofthepaper，andhadadozenmenalerttogetmespecialmatterofthesortthatdrawsintheunattachedreader。Thechiefdangerontheliterarysideofaweeklyisthatitshouldfallintothehandsofsomeparticularschool，andthisIwatchedforclosely。Itseemsimpossibletogetvividnessofapprehensionandbreadthofviewtogetherinthesamecritic。Soitfallstothewiseeditortosecurethefirstandimposethesecond。DirectlyIdetectedtheshrillpartisannoteinourcriticism，theattempttopuffapoorthingbecauseitwas\"intherightdirection，\"ordamnavigorouspieceofworkbecauseitwasn\'t，Itackledthemanandhaditoutwithhim。Ourpaywasgoodenoughforthattomatteragooddeal……
Ourdistinctivelittleblueandwhiteposterkeptupitsneatpersistentappealtothepubliceye，andbefore1911wasout，theBLUEWEEKLYwasprintingtwentypagesofpublishers\'advertisements，andwentintoalltheclubsinLondonandthree-quartersofthecountryhouseswhereweek-endpartiesgathertogether。Itssalebynewsagentsandbookstallsgrewsteadily。Onegotmoreandmorethereassuringsenseofbeingdiscussed，andinfluencingdiscussion。
5
OurofficewasattheverytopofabigbuildingneartheendofAdelphiTerrace；themainwindowbesidemydesk，abigundividedwindowofplateglass，lookedoutuponCleopatra\'sNeedle，thecorneroftheHotelCecil，thefinearchesofWaterlooBridge，andthelongsweepofsouthbankwithitsshottowersandchimneys，pastBanksidetothedimlyseenpiersofthegreatbridgebelowtheTower。ThedomeofSt。Paul\'sjustfloatedintoviewontheleftagainstthehotelfacade。Bynightandday，ineverylightandatmosphere，itwasabeautifulandvariousview，aliveasathrobbingheart；aperpetualflowoftrafficploughedandsplashedthestreamingsilveroftheriver，andbynighttheshapesofthingsbecamevelvetblackandgrey，andthewaterashiningmirrorofsteel，wearingcoruscatinggemsoflight。IntheforegroundtheEmbankmenttramssailedglowingby，acrossthewateradvertisementsflashedandflickered，trainswentandcameandarollingdriftofsmokereflectedunseenfires。Bydaythatspectaclewassometimesamarvelofshiningwetandwind-clearedatmosphere，sometimesamysteryofdriftingfog，sometimesamiracleofcrowdeddetails，minutelyfine。
AsIthinkofthatview，sovariouslyspaciousineffect，Iambackthere，andthissunlitpapermightbelamp-litandlyingonmyolddesk。Iseeitallagain，feelitallagain。Intheforegroundisagreenshadedlampandcrumpledgalleyslipsandpagedproofsandletters，twoorthreepapersinmanuscript，andsoforth。Intheshadowsarechairsandanothertablebearingpapersandbooks，arotatingbookcasedimlyseen，alongwindowseatblackinthedarkness，andthenthecoolunbrokenspectacleofthewindow。HowoftenIwouldwatchsometram-car，somestringofbargesgofrommeslowlyoutofsight。Thepeoplewereblackanimalculaebyday，clustering，collecting，dispersing，bynight，theywerephantomface-speckscoming，vanishing，stirringobscurelybetweenlightandshade。
Irecallmanyhoursatmydeskinthatroombeforethecrisiscame，hoursfullofthepeculiarhappinessofeffectivestrenuouswork。
Oncesomepieceofwritingwenton，holdingmeintentandforgetfuloftimeuntilIlookedupfromthewarmcircleofmyelectriclamptoseetheeastwardskyabovethepalesilhouetteoftheTowerBridge，flushedandbandedbrightlywiththedawn。
CHAPTERTHEFOURTH
THEBESETTINGOFSEX
1
Artisselectionandsoismostautobiography。ButIamconcernedwithamoretangledbusinessthanselection，Iwanttoshowacontemporarymaninrelationtothestateandsocialusage，andthesocialorganisminrelationtothatman。TotellmystoryatallI
havetosimplify。Ihavegivennowthebroadlinesofmypoliticaldevelopment，andhowIpassedfrommyinitialliberal-socialismtotheconceptionofaconstructivearistocracy。Ihavetriedtosetthatoutintheformofamandiscoveringhimself。Incidentallythatself-developmentledtoaprofoundbreachwithmywife。Onehasreadstoriesbeforeofhusbandandwifespeakingseverallytwodifferentlanguagesandcomingtoanunderstanding。ButMargaretandIbeganinherdialect，and，asIcamemoreandmoretousemyown，diverged。
IhadthoughtwhenImarriedthatthematterofwomankindhadendedforme。IhavetriedtotellallthatsexandwomenhadbeentomeuptomymarriedlifewithMargaretandourfatalentanglement，triedtoshowthequeer，crippled，embarrassedandlimitedwayinwhichtheseinterestsbreakuponthelifeofayoungmanundercontemporaryconditions。Idonotthinkmylotwasaveryexceptionalone。Imissedthechanceofsistersandgirlplaymates，butthatisnotanuncommonmisadventureinanageofsmallfamilies；InevercametoknowanywomanatallintimatelyuntilI
wasmarriedtoMargaret。Myearlierloveaffairswereencountersofsex，underconditionsoffurtivenessandadventurethatmadethemthingsinthemselves，restrictedandunilluminating。FromaboyishdispositiontobemysticalandworshippingtowardswomenIhadpassedintoadisregardfulattitude，asthoughwomenwerethingsinferiororirrelevant，disturbersingreataffairs。ForatimeMargarethadblottedoutallotherwomen；shewassodifferentandsonear；shewaslikeapersonwhostandssuddenlyinfrontofalittlewindowthroughwhichonehasbeensurveyingacrowd。Shedidn\'tbecomewomankindformesomuchaseliminatewomankindfrommyworld……Andthencamethissecretseparation……
UntilthisestrangementandtherapidanduncontrollabledevelopmentofmyrelationswithIsabelwhichchancedtofollowit，Iseemedtohavesolvedtheproblemofwomenbymarriageanddisregard。I
thoughtthesethingswereover。IwentaboutmycareerwithMargaretbesideme，herbrowslightlyknit，hermannerfaintlystrenuous，helping，helping；andifwehadnotaltogetherabolishedsexwehadatleastsocircumscribedandisolateditthatitwouldnothaveaffectedthegeneraltenorofourlivesintheslightestdegreeifwehad。
Andthen，clothingitselfmoreandmoreintheformofIsabelandherproblems，thisold，thisfundamentalobsessionofmylifereturned。ThethingstoleuponmymindsothatIwasunawareofitsinvasionandhowitwaschangingourlongintimacy。IhavealreadycomparedthelotofthemodernpublicisttoMachiavelliwritinginhisstudy；inhisdaywomenandsexwereasdisregardedinthesehighaffairsas，letussay，thechemistryofairorthewillofthebeastsinthefields；inoursthecasehasaltogetherchanged，andwomanhascomenowtostandbesidethetallcandles，halfinthelight，halfinthemysteryoftheshadows，besetting，interrupting，demandingunrelentinglyanaltogetherunprecedentedattention。I
feelthatinthesemattersmylifehasbeenalmosttypicalofmytime。Womaninsistsuponherpresence。Sheisnolongeramerephysicalneed，anaestheticbye-play，asentimentalbackground；sheisamoralandintellectualnecessityinaman\'slife。Shecomestothepoliticiananddemands，Issheachildoracitizen？Issheathingorasoul？Shecomestotheindividualman，asshecametomeandasks，Issheacherishedweaklingoranequalmate，anunavoidablehelper？Isshetobetriedandtrustedorguardedandcontrolled，bondorfree？Forifsheisamate，onemustatoncetrustmoreandexactmore，exactingtoil，courage，andthehardest，mostnecessarythingofall，theclearest，mostshameless，explicitnessofunderstanding……
2
InallmyearlierimaginingsofstatecraftIhadtacitlyassumedeitherthattherelationsofthesexeswereallrightorthatanyhowtheydidn\'tconcernthestate。Itwasamatterthey，whoever\"they\"
were，hadtosettleamongthemselves。Thatsortofdisregardwaspossiblethen。Butevenbefore1906therewereendlessintimationsthatthedamsholdingbackgreatreservoirsofdiscussionwerecrumbling。Wepoliticalschemerswereploughingwiderthananyonehadploughedbeforeinthefieldofsocialreconstruction。Wehadalso，werealised，toploughdeeper。Wehadtoploughdownatlasttothepassionateelementsofsexualrelationshipandexamineanddecideuponthem。
Thesignsmultiplied。InayearorsohalfthepoliceofthemetropoliswerescarcesufficienttoprotecttheHousefromoneclamorousaspectofthenewproblem。ThememberswentaboutWestminsterwithanodd，newsenseofbeingbeset。AgoodproportionofuskeptupthepretencethattheVoteforWomenwasanisolatedfad，andtheagitationanepidemicmadnessthatwouldpresentlypass。Butitwasmanifesttoanyonewhosoughtmorethancomfortinthematterthatthestreamsofwomenandsympathisersandmoneyforthcomingmarkedfardeeperandwiderthingsthananidlefancyforthefranchise。TheexistinglawsandconventionsofrelationshipbetweenManandWomanwerejustasunsatisfactoryadisorderasanythingelseinourtumbledconfusionofaworld，andthatalsowascomingtobearuponstatecraft。
MyfirstparliamentwastheparliamentoftheSuffragettes。Idon\'tproposetotellhereofthatamazingcampaign，withitsabsurditiesandfollies，itscourageanddevotion。Therewereaspectsofthatunquenchableagitationthatwereabsolutelyheroicandaspectsthatwereabsolutelypitiful。Itwasunreasonable，unwise，and，exceptforitsonecentralinsistence，astonishinglyincoherent。Itwasamazinglyeffective。Theveryincoherenceofthedemandwitnessed，Ithink，totheforcesthatlaybehindit。Itwasn\'tasimpleargumentbasedonasimpleassumption；itwasthefirstcrudeexpressionofagreatmassandminglingofconvergentfeelings，ofawidespread，confusedpersuasionamongmoderneducatedwomenthattheconditionsoftheirrelationswithmenwereoppressive，ugly，dishonouring，andhadtobealtered。TheyhadnotmerelyadoptedtheVoteasasymbolofequality；itwasfairlymanifesttomethat，givenit，theymeanttouseit，andtouseitperhapsevenvindictivelyandblindly，asaweaponagainstmanythingstheyhadeveryreasontohate……
Iremember，withexceptionalvividness，thatgreatnightearlyinthesessionof1909，when——Ithinkitwas——fiftyorsixtywomenwenttoprison。IhadbeendiningattheBarham\'s，andLordBarhamandI
camedownfromthedirectionofSt。James\'sParkintoacrowdandaconfusionoutsidetheCaxtonHall。WefoundourselvesdriftingwithanimmensemultitudetowardsParliamentSquareandparallelwithasilent，close-packedcolumnofgirlsandwomen，forthemostpartwhite-facedandintent。Istillremembertheeffectoftheirfacesuponme。Itwasquitedifferentfromthegeneraleffectofstaringaboutanddividedattentiononegetsinapoliticalprocessionofmen。Therewasanexpressionofheroictension。
Therehadbeenaprettydeliberateappealonthepartofthewomen\'sorganiserstotheUnemployed，whohadbeendemonstratingthroughoutthatwinter，tojoinforceswiththemovement，andtheresultwasshowninthequalityofthecrowduponthepavement。Itwasanugly，dangerous-lookingcrowd，butasyetgood-temperedandsympathetic。WhenatlastwegotwithinsightoftheHousethesquarewasaseethingseatofexcitedpeople，andthearrayofpoliceonhorseandonfootmighthavebeenassembledforarevolutionaryoutbreak。ThereweredensemassesofpeopleupWhitehall，andrightontoWestminsterBridge。Thescufflethatendedinthearrestswasthepoorestexplosiontofollowsuchstupendouspreparations……
3
Lateroninthatyearthewomenbegananewattack。Dayandnight，andallthroughthelongnightsoftheBudgetsittings，atallthepiersofthegatesofNewPalaceYardandatSt。Stephen\'sPorch，stoodwomenpickets，andwatchedussilentlyandreproachfullyaswewenttoandfro。Theywerewomenofallsorts，though，ofcourse，theindependentworker-classpredominated。Thereweregrey-headedoldladiesstandingthere，sturdilycharmingintherain；battered-
looking，ambiguouswomen，withsomethingofthedesperatebitternessofbatteredwomenshowingintheireyes；north-countryfactorygirls；cheaply-dressedsuburbanwomen；trim，comfortablemothersoffamilies；valiant-eyedgirlgraduatesandundergraduates；lank，hungry-lookingcreatures，whostirredone\'simagination；oneverydaintylittlewomanindeepmourning，Irecall，graveandsteadfast，witheyesfixedondistantthings。Someofthosewomenlookeddefiant，sometimidlyaggressive，somefullofthestirofadventure，somedroopingwithcoldandfatigue。Thesupplyneverceased。Ihadamortalfearthatsomehowthesupplymighthaltorcease。Ifoundthatcontinualsiegeofthelegislatureextraordinarilyimpressive——infinitelymoreimpressivethanthefeeble-forcible\"ragging\"ofthemoremilitantsection。Ithoughtoftheappealthatmustbegoingthroughthecountry，summoningthewomenfromcountlessscatteredhomes，rooms，colleges，toWestminster。
IremembertoothepettylittledifficultyIfeltwhetherIshouldignorethesepicketsaltogether，orliftahatasIhurriedpastwithavertedeyes，orlooktheminthefaceasIdidso。TowardstheendtheHouseevokedanetiquetteofsalutation。
4
Therewasatendency，evenonthepartofitssympathisers，totreatthewholesuffrageagitationasifitwereadisconnectedissue，irrelevanttoallotherbroaddevelopmentsofsocialandpoliticallife。Westruggled，allofus，toignoretheindicatingfingeritthrustoutbeforeus。\"Yourschemes，foralltheirbigness，\"itinsistedtoourreluctant，avertedminds，\"stilldon\'tgodowntotheessentialthings……\"
Wehavetogodeeper，orourinadequatechildren\'sinsufficientchildrenwillstarveamidstharvestsofearlessfutility。Thatconservatismwhichworksineveryclasstopreserveinitsessentialsthehabitualdailylifeisallagainstaprofoundertreatmentofpoliticalissues。Thepolitician，almostasabsurdlyasthephilosopher，tendsconstantly，inspiteofmagnificentpreludes，vastintimations，tospecialisehimselfoutoftherealityhehassostupendouslysummoned——heboltsbacktolittleness。Theworldhastobemouldedanew，hecontinuestoadmit，butwithout，headds，anyriskofupsettinghisweek-endvisits，hismorningcupoftea……
Thediscussionoftherelationsofmenandwomendisturbseveryone。
Itreactsupontheprivatelifeofeveryonewhoattemptsit。Andatanyparticulartimeonlyasmallminorityhaveapersonalinterestinchangingtheestablishedstateofaffairs。Habitandinterestareinaconstantlyrecruitedmajorityagainstconsciouschangeandadjustmentinthesematters。Driftrulesus。Thegreatmassofpeople，andanoverwhelmingproportionofinfluentialpeople，arepeoplewhohavebanishedtheirdreamsandmadetheircompromise。Wonderfulandbeautifulpossibilitiesarenolongertobethoughtabout。Theyhavegivenupanyaspirationsforintenselove，theirsplendidoffspring，forkeendelights，haveacceptedacultivatedkindlinessandanuncriticalsenseofrighteousnessastheircompensation。It\'sasettledaffairwiththem，asettled，dangerousaffair。Mostofthemfear，andmanyhate，theslightestreminderofthoseabandoneddreams。AsDaytononcesaidtothePentagramCircle，whenwewerediscussingtheproblemofauniversalmarriageanddivorcelawthroughouttheEmpire，\"Iamforleavingallthesethingsalone。\"Andthen，withagroaninhisvoice，\"Leavethemalone！Leavethemallalone！\"
Thatwashiswholespeechfortheevening，inanoteofsuppressedpassion，andpresently，againstallouretiquette，hegotupandwentout。
Forsomeyearsaftermymarriage，Itoowasforleavingthemalone。
Idevelopedadreadanddislikeforromance，foremotionalmusic，forthehumanfigureinart——turningmyhearttolandscape。I
wantedtosneeratloversandtheirecstasies，andwasuncomfortableuntilIfoundtheeffectivesneer。Inmattersofprivatemoralstheseweremymostuncharitableyears。Ididn\'twanttothinkofthesethingsanymoreforever。Ihatedthepeoplewhosetalkorpracticeshowedtheywerenotofmyopinion。Iwantedtobelievethattheirviewswereimmoralandobjectionableandcontemptible，becauseIhaddecidedtotreatthemasatthatlevel。Iwas，infact，fallingintotheattitudeofthenormaldecentman。
Andyetonecannothelpthinking！Thesensiblemoralisedmanfindsithardtoescapethestreamofsuggestionthattherearestilldreamsbeyondthesecommonplaceacquiescences，——theappealofbeautysuddenlyshininguponone，themothlikestirringsofserenesummernights，thesweetnessofdistantmusic……
Itisoneoftheparadoxicalfactorsinourpubliclifeatthepresenttime，whichpenalisesabandonmenttolovesoabundantlyandsoheavily，thatpower，influenceandcontrolfalllargelytounencumberedpeopleandsterilepeopleandpeoplewhohavemarriedforpassionlesspurposes，peoplewhoseverydeficiencyinfeelinghasleftthemfreetofollowambition，peoplebeautyblind，whodon\'tunderstandwhatitistofallinlove，whatitistodesirechildrenorhavethem，whatitistofeelintheirbloodandbodiesthesupremeclaimofgoodbirthsandselectivebirthsaboveallotheraffairsinlife，peoplealmostofnecessityaversefromthismostfundamentalaspectofexistence……
5
Itwasn\'t，however，mydeepeningsympathywithandunderstandingofthepositionofwomeningeneral，orthechangeinmyideasaboutalltheseintimatethingsmyfastfriendshipwithIsabelwasbringingabout，thatledmetothehereticalviewsIhaveinthelastfiveyearsdraggedfromtheregionofacademicandtimiddiscussionintothefieldofpracticalpolitics。Thoseinfluences，nodoubt，haveconvergedtothesameend，andgivenmeapowerfulemotionalpushuponmyroad，butitwasabroaderandcolderviewofthingsthatfirstdeterminedmeinmyattempttografttheEndowmentofMotherhoodinsomeformorotheruponBritishImperialism。NowthatIamexiledfromthepoliticalworld，itispossibletoestimatejusthoweffectuallythatgraftinghasbeendone。
Ihaveexplainedhowtheideasofatrainedaristocracyandauniversaleducationgrewtoparamountimportanceinmypoliticalscheme。Itisbutashortstepfromthistothequestionofthequantityandqualityofbirthsinthecommunity，andfromthatagaintotheseforbiddenandfear-besettopicsofmarriage，divorce，andthefamilyorganisation。Asporadicdiscussionoftheseaspectshadbeengoingonforyears，aEugenicsocietyexisted，andarticlesontheFallingBirthRate，andtheRapidMultiplicationoftheUnfitwerestaplesofthemonthlymagazines。Butbeyondanintermittentscoldingofprosperouschildlesspeopleingeneral——oneneveraddressedtheminparticular——nothingwasdonetowardsarrestingthoseadverseprocesses。Almostagainstmynaturalinclination，I
foundmyselfforcedtogointothesethings。Icametotheconclusionthatundermodernconditionstheisolatedprivatefamily，basedontheexistingmarriagecontract，wasfailinginitswork。
Itwasn\'tproducingenoughchildren，andchildrengoodenoughandwelltrainedenoughforthedemandsofthedevelopingcivilisedstate。Ourcivilisationwasgrowingoutwardly，anddecayinginitsintimatesubstance，andunlessitwaspresentlytocollapse，someveryextensiveandcourageousreorganisationwasneeded。Theoldhaphazardsystemofpairing，qualifiedmoreandmorebyworldlydiscretions，nolongersecuresayoungpopulationnumerousenoughorgoodenoughforthegrowingneedsandpossibilitiesofourEmpire。
Statecraftsitsweavingsplendidgarments，nodoubt，butwithapuny，ugly，insufficientbabyinthecradle。
Noonesofarhasdaredtotakeupthisproblemasapresentquestionforstatecraft，butitcomesunheralded，unadvocated，andsitsateverylegislativeboard。Everyimprovementisprovisionalexcepttheimprovementoftherace，anditbecamemoreandmoredoubtfultomeifwewereimprovingtheraceatall！Splendidandbeautifulandcourageouspeoplemustcometogetherandhavechildren，womenwiththeirfinesensesandgloriousdevotionmustbefreedfromthenetthatcompelsthemtobecelibate，compelsthemtobechildlessanduseless，ortobearchildrenignoblytomenwhomneedandignoranceandthetreacherouspressureofcircumstanceshaveforceduponthem。Weallknowthat，andsofewdareeventowhisperitforfearthattheyshouldseem，inseekingtosavethefamily，tothreatenitsexistence。Itisasifapartyofpigmiesinanottoocapaciousroomhadbeenjoinedbyacarnivorousgiant——
anddecidedtogoonlivinghappilybycuttinghimdead……
Theproblemthedevelopingcivilisedstatehastosolveishowitcangetthebestpossibleincreaseunderthebestpossibleconditions。Ibecamemoreandmoreconvincedthattheindependentfamilyunitofto-day，inwhichthemanismasterofthewifeandownerofthechildren，inwhichallaredependentuponhim，subordinatedtohisenterprisesandliabletofollowhisfortunesupordown，doesnotsupplyanythinglikethebestconceivableconditions。Wewanttomodernisethefamilyfootingaltogether。Anenormouspremiumbothinpleasureandcompetitiveefficiencyisputuponvoluntarychildlessness，andenormousinducementsareheldouttowomentosubordinateinstinctiveandselectivepreferencestosocialandmaterialconsiderations。
Thepracticalreactionofmodernconditionsupontheoldtraditionofthefamilyisthis：thatbeneaththepretencethatnothingischanging，secretlyandwithalltheunwholesomenessofsecrecyeverythingischanged。Offspringfallaway，thebirthratefallsandfallsmostamongjustthemostefficientandactiveandbestadaptedclassesinthecommunity。Thespeciesisrecruitedfromamongitsfailuresandfromamonglesscivilisedaliens。
Contemporarycivilisationsareineffectburningthebestoftheirpossiblebabiesinthefurnacesthatrunthemachinery。IntheUnitedStatesthenativeAnglo-Americanstrainhasscarcelyincreasedatallsince1830，andinmostWesternEuropeancountriesthesameisprobablytrueoftheablestandmostenergeticelementsinthecommunity。Thewomenoftheseclassesstillremainlegallyandpracticallydependentandprotected，withtheonlynaturalexcusefortheirdependencegone……
Themodernworldbecomesanimmensespectacleofunsatisfactorygroupings；herechildlesscouplesboredtodeathinthehopelessefforttosustainanincessanthoneymoon，herehomesinwhichasolitarychildgrowsunsocially，heresmalltwoorthree-childhomesthatdonomorethancontinuethecultureoftheparentsatagreatsocialcost，herenumbersofunhappyeducatedbutchildlessmarriedwomen，herecareless，decivilisedfecundhomes，hereorphanagesandasylumsfortheheedlesslybegotten。ItisjustthedisorderlyproliferationofBromsteadoveragain，inlivesinsteadofinhouses。
Whatisthegood，whatisthecommonsense，ofrectifyingboundaries，pushingresearchanddiscovery，buildingcities，improvingallthefacilitiesoflife，makinggreatfleets，wagingwars，whilethisaimlessdecadenceremainsthequalityofthebiologicaloutlook？……
ItisdifficultnowtotracehowIchangedfrommyearlyaversionuntilIfacedthismassofproblems。Butsofarbackas1910IhaditclearinmymindthatIwouldratherfailutterlythanparticipateinallthesurrendersofmindandbodythatareimpliedinDayton\'ssnarlof\"Leaveitalone；leaveitallalone！\"Marriageandthebegettingandcareofchildren，istheverygroundsubstanceinthelifeofthecommunity。Inaworldinwhicheverythingchanges，inwhichfreshmethods，freshadjustmentsandfreshideasperpetuallyrenewthecircumstancesoflife，itispreposterousthatweshouldnotevenexamineintothesematters，shouldrestcontenttoberuledbytheuncriticisedtraditionsofabarbaricage。
Now，itseemstomethatthesolutionofthisproblemisalsothesolutionofthewoman\'sindividualproblem。Thetwogotogether，arerightandleftofonequestion。TheonlyconceivablewayoutfromourIMPASSEliesintherecognitionofparentage，thatistosayofadequatemothering，asnolongerachanceproductofindividualpassionsbutaservicerenderedtotheState。Womenmustbecomelessandlesssubordinatedtoindividualmen，sincethisworksoutinamoreorlesscompletelimitation，waste，andsterilisationoftheiressentiallysocialfunction；theymustbecomemoreandmoresubordinatedasindividuallyindependentcitizenstothecollectivepurpose。Or，toexpressthethingbyafamiliarphrase，thehighlyorganised，scientificstatewedesiremust，ifitistoexistatall，baseitselfnotupontheirresponsibleman-ruledfamily，butuponthematriarchalfamily，thecitizen-shipandfreedomofwomenandthepublicendowmentofmotherhood。
Aftertwogenerationsofconfusedandexperimentalrevoltitgrowscleartomodernwomenthataconscious，deliberatemotherhoodandmotheringistheirspecialfunctionintheState，andthatapersonalsubordinationtoanindividualmanwithanunlimitedpowerofcontroloverthisintimateandsupremedutyisadegradation。Nocontemporarywomanofeducationputtothetestiswillingtorecogniseanyclaimamancanmakeuponherbuttheclaimofherfreely-givendevotiontohim。Shewantstherealityofherchoiceandshemeans\"family\"whileamantoooftenmeansonlypossession。
Thisaltersthespiritofthefamilyrelationshipsfundamentally。
Theirformremainsjustwhatitwaswhenwomanwasesteemedapretty，desirable，andincidentallyachild-producing，chattel。
Againstthesetime-honouredideasthenewspiritofwomanhoodstrugglesinshame，astonishment，bitterness，andtears……
Iconfessmyselfaltogetherfeminist。Ihavenodoubtsinthematter。Iwantthiscoddlingandbrowbeatingofwomentocease。I
wanttoseewomencomein，freeandfearless，toafullparticipationinthecollectivepurposeofmankind。Women，Iamconvinced，areasfineasmen；theycanbeaswiseasmen；theyarecapableoffargreaterdevotionthanmen。Iwanttoseethemcitizens，withamarriagelawframedprimarilyforthemandfortheirprotectionandthegoodoftherace，andnotformen\'ssatisfactions。IwanttoseethembearingandrearinggoodchildrenintheStateasagenerouslyrewardedpublicdutyandservice，choosingtheirhusbandsfreelyanddiscerningly，andinnowayenslavedbyorsubordinatedtothementheyhavechosen。Thesocialconsciousnessofwomenseemstomeanunworked，analmostuntouchedmineofwealthfortheconstructivepurposeoftheworld。Iwanttochangetherespectivevaluesofthefamilygroupaltogether，andmakethehomeindeedthewomen\'skingdomandthemothertheownerandresponsibleguardianofherchildren。
Itisnousepretendingthatthisisnotnovelandrevolutionary；itis。TheEndowmentofMotherhoodimpliesanewmethodofsocialorganization，arearrangementofthesocialunit，untriedinhumanexpericnce——asuntriedaselectrictractionwasorflyingin1800。
Ofcourse，itmayworkouttomodifymen\'sideasofmarriageprofoundly。Tomethatisasecondaryconsideration。Idonotbelievethatparticularassertionmyself，becauseIamconvincedthatapracticalmonogamyisapsychologicalnecessitytothemassofcivilisedpeople。ButevenifIdidbelieveitIshouldstillkeeptomypresentline，becauseitistheonlylinethatwillpreventahighlyorganisedcivilisationfromendinginbiologicaldecay。ThepublicEndowmentofMotherhoodistheonlypossiblewaywhichwillensurethepermanentlydevelopingcivilisedstateatwhichallconstructivemindsareaiming。Apointisreachedinthelife-historyofacivilisationwheneitherthisreconstructionmustbeeffectedorthequalityandMORALEofthepopulationproveinsufficientfortheneedsofthedevelopingorganisation。Itisnotsomuchmoraldecadencethatwilldestroyusasmoralinadaptability。Theoldcodefailsunderthenewneeds。Theonlyalternativetothisprofoundreconstructionisadecayinhumanqualityandsocialcollapse。Eitherthisunprecedentedrearrangementmustbeachievedbyourcivilisation，oritmustpresentlycomeuponaphaseofdisorderandcrumbleandperish，asRomeperished，asFrancedeclines，asthestrainofthePilgrimFathersdwindlesoutofAmerica。Whateverhopetheremaybeintheattempttherefore，thereisnoalternativetotheattempt。
6
Iwantedpoliticalsuccessnowdearlyenough，butnotatthepriceofconstructiverealities。Thesequestionswerenodoubtmonstrouslydangerousinthepoliticalworld；therewasn\'tapoliticianalivewhodidn\'tlookscaredatthementionof\"TheFamily，\"butifraisingtheseissueswereessentialtothesocialreconstructionsonwhichmylifewasset，thatdidnotmatter。ItonlyimpliedthatIshouldtakethemupwithdeliberatecaution。
Therewasnoreleasebecauseofriskordifficulty。
ThequestionofwhetherIshouldcommitmyselftosomeopenprojectinthisdirectionwasgoingoninmymindconcurrentlywithmyspeculationsaboutachangeofparty，likebassandtrebleinacomplexpieceofmusic。Thetwodrewtoaconclusiontogether。I
wouldnotonlygoovertoImperialism，butIwouldattempttobiologiseImperialism。
IthoughtatfirstthatIwasundertakingamonstrousuphilltask。
ButasIcametolookintothepossibilitiesofthematter，astrongpersuasiongrewupinmymindthatthispanicfearoflegislativeproposalsaffectingthefamilybasiswasexcessive，thatthingsweremuchriperfordevelopmentinthisdirectionthanold-experiencedpeopleoutoftouchwiththeyoungergenerationimagined，thattophrasethethinginaparliamentaryfashion，\"somethingmightbedoneintheconstituencies\"withtheEndowmentofMotherhoodforthwith，providedonlythatitwasmadeperfectlyclearthatanythingasanepersoncouldpossiblyintendby\"morality\"wasleftuntouchedbytheseproposals。
Iwenttoworkverycarefully。IgotRoperoftheDAILYTELEPHONE
andBurkettoftheDIALtotryoverasilly-seasondiscussionofStateHelpforMothers，andIputaseriesofarticlesoneugenics，uponthefallinthebirth-rate，andsimilartopicsintheBLUE
WEEKLY，leadinguptoatentativeandgeneralisedadvocacyofthepublicendowmentofthenation\'schildren。Iwasmoreandmorestruckbytheacceptancewonbyasoberandrestrainedpresentationofthissuggestion。
Andthen，inthefourthyearoftheBLUEWEEKLY\'Scareer，cametheHanditchelection，andIwasforcedbytheclamourofmyantagonist，andverywillinglyforced，toputmyconvictionstothetest。I
returnedtriumphantlytoWestminsterwiththePublicEndowmentofMotherhoodaspartofmyopenprofessionandwiththefullapprovalofthepartypress。ApplaudingbenchesofImperialistscheeredmeonmywaytothetablebetweenthewhips。
ThatsecondtimeItooktheoathIwasnotoneofacrowdofnewmembers，butsalient，anevent，asymbolofprofoundchangesandnewpurposesinthenationallife。
Hereitismypoliticalbookcomestoanend，andinasensemybookendsaltogether。FortherestisbuttotellhowIwassweptoutofthisgreatworldofpoliticalpossibilities。IclosethisThirdBookasIopenedit，withanadmissionofdifficultiesandcomplexities，butnowwithapileofmanuscriptbeforemeIhavetoconfessthemunsurmountedandstillentangled。
Yetmyaimwasafinalsimplicity。Ihavesoughttoshowmygrowingrealisationthattheessentialqualityofallpoliticalandsocialeffortisthedevelopmentofagreatracemindbehindtheinterplayofindividuallives。Thatisthecollectivehumanreality，thebasisofmorality，thepurposeofdevotion。Tothatourlivesmustbegiven，fromthatwillcometheperpetualfreshreleaseandfurtherennoblementofindividuallives……
IhavewantedtomakethatideaofacollectivemindplayinthisbookthepartUnitedItalyplaysinMachiavelli\'sPRINCE。Ihavecalleditthehinterlandofreality，shownitaccumulatingadominatingtruthandrightnesswhichmustforcemen\'snowsporadicmotivesmoreandmoreintoadisciplinedandunderstandingrelationtoaplan。AndIhavetriedtoindicatehowIsoughttoservethisgreatclarificationofourconfusions……
NowIcomebacktopersonalityandthestoryofmyself-betrayal，andhowitisIhavehadtoleaveallthatfar-reachingschemeofmine，amereprojectandbeginningforothermentotakeorleaveasitpleasesthem。
BOOKTHEFOURTH
ISABEL
CHAPTERTHEFIRST
LOVEANDSUCCESS