\"Wehavereadyourbook，\"eachbegan——asthoughithadbeenajointfunction。\"Andweconsider——\"
\"Yes，\"Iprotested，\"Ithink——\"
Thatwasasecondarymatter。
\"Theydidnotconsider，\"saidAltiora，raisinghervoiceandgoingrightoverme，thatIhadallowedsufficientlyfortheinevitabledevelopmentofanofficialadministrativeclassinthemodernstate。\"
\"Norofitsimportance，\"echoedOscar。
That，theyexplainedinasortofchorus，wasthecardinalideaoftheirlives，whattheywereupto，whattheystoodfor。\"Wewanttosuggesttoyou，\"theysaid——andIfoundthiswasastockopeningoftheirs——\"thatfromthemerenecessitiesofconvenienceelectedbodiesMUSTavailthemselvesmoreandmoreoftheservicesofexpertofficials。Wehavethatverymuchinmind。Themorecomplicatedandtechnicalaffairsbecome，thelessconfidencewilltheelectedofficialhaveinhimself。Wewanttosuggestthattheseexpertofficialsmustnecessarilydevelopintoanewclassandaverypowerfulclassinthecommunity。Wewanttoorganisethat。ItmaybeTHEpowerofthefuture。Theywillnecessarilyhavetohaveverymuchofacommontraining。Weconsiderourselvesasamateurunpaidprecursorsofsuchaclass。\"……
Thevisiontheydisplayedformyconsiderationastheaimofpublic-
spiritedendeavour，seemedlikeaharder，narrower，morespecialisedversionoftheideaofatrainedanddisciplinedstatethatWillersleyandIhadworkedoutintheAlps。Theywantedthingsmoreorganised，morecorrelatedwithgovernmentandacollectivepurpose，justaswedid，buttheysawitnotintermsofagrowingcollectiveunderstanding，butintermsoffunctionaries，legislativechange，andmethodsofadministration……
Itwasn\'tclearatfirsthowwediffered。TheBaileyswereveryanxioustowinmetoco-operation，andIwasquitepreparedatfirsttoidentifytheirdistinctiveexpressionswithphrasesofmyown，andsowecameveryreadilyintoanalliancethatwastolastsomeyears，andbreakatlastverypainfully。Altioramanifestlylikedme，IwassoondiscussingwithhertheperplexityIfoundinplacingmyselfefficientlyintheworld，theproblemofhowtotakeholdofthingsthatoccupiedmythoughts，andshewassketchingoutcareersformyconsideration，verymuchasanarchitectonhisfirstvisitsketcheshouses，considersrequirements，andputsbeforeyouthisexampleandthatofthemoreorlesssimilarthingalreadydone……
4
ItiseasytoseehowmuchincommontherewasbetweentheBaileysandme，andhownaturalitwasthatIshouldbecomeaconstantvisitorattheirhouseandanallyoftheirsinmanyenterprises。
Itisnotnearlysoeasytodefinetheprofoundantagonismofspiritthatalsoheldbetweenus。Therewasadifferenceintexture，adifferenceinquality。HowcanIexpressit？Theshapesofourthoughtswerethesame，butthesubstancequitedifferent。ItwasasiftheyhadmadeinchinaorcastironwhatIhadmadeintransparentlivingmatter。Thecomparisonismanifestlyfrommypointofview。Certainthingsneverseemedtoshowthroughtheirideasthatwerevisible，refractedperhapsanddistorted，butvisiblealwaysthroughmine。
Ithoughtforatimetheessentialdifferencelayinourrelationtobeauty。Withmebeautyisquiteprimaryinlife；Iliketruth，orderandgoodness，whollybecausetheyarebeautifulorleadstraighttobeautifulconsequences。TheBaileyseitherhadn\'tgotthatortheydidn\'tseeit。Theyseemedattimestopreferthingsharshandugly。Thatpuzzledmeextremely。Theestheticqualityofmanyoftheirproposals，the\"manners\"oftheirwork，sotospeak，wereattimesasdreadfulas——well，WarOfficebarrackarchitecture。
Acaricaturebyitsexaggeratedstatementswillsometimesservetopointatruthbyantagonisingfalsityandfalsity。Iremembertalkingtoaprominentmuseumofficialinneedofmorepublicfundsfortheworkhehadinhand。ImentionedthepossibilityofenlistingBailey\'sinfluence。
\"Oh，wedon\'twantPhilistineslikethatinfernalBottle-Imprunningus，\"hesaidhastily，andwouldhearofnoconcertedactionfortheendhehadinview。\"I\'drathernothavetheextension。
\"Yousee，\"hewentontoexplain，\"Bailey\'swantingintheessentials。\"
\"Whatessentials？\"saidI。
\"Oh！he\'dbelikeanastyoilyefficientlittlemachineforsomemerelysubordinatenecessityamongallmydelicatestuff。He\'ddoallwewantednodoubtinthewayofmoneyandpowers——andhe\'ddoitwrongandmesstheplaceforever。Handsallblack，youknow。
He\'sjustameans。Justaveryaggressiveandunmanageablemeans。
Thisisn\'taplumber\'sjob……\"
Istucktomyargument。
\"Idon\'tLIKEhim，\"saidtheofficialconclusively，anditseemedtomeatthetimehewasjustblindprejudicespeaking……
IcamenearerthetruthofthematterasIcametorealisethatourphilosophiesdifferedprofoundly。Thatisn\'taverycurabledifference，——oncepeoplehavegrownup。TheirswasaphilosophydevoidofFINESSE。TemperamentallytheBaileyswerespecialised，concentrated，accurate，whileIamurgedeitherbysomeInnerforceorsomeentirelyassimilatedinfluenceinmytraining，alwaystoroundoffandshadowmyoutlines。Ihatethemhard。Iwouldsacrificedetailtomodellingalways，andtheBaileys，itseemedtome，lovedaworldasflatandmetallicasSidneyCooper\'scows。IftheyhadtheuniverseinhandIknowtheywouldtakedownallthetreesandputupstampedtingreenshadesandsunlightaccumulators。
Altiorathoughttreeshopelesslyirregularandseacliffsagreatmistake……Igotthingsclearerastimewenton。ThoughitwasanHegelianmessofwhichIhadpartakenatCodger\'stablebywayofaphilosophicaltraining，mysympathieshavealwaysbeenPragmatist。IbelongalmostbynaturetothatschoolofPragmatismthat，followingthemedievalNominalists，basesitselfuponadenialoftherealityofclasses，andofthevalidityofgenerallaws。TheBaileysclassifiedeverything。Theywere，inthescholasticsense——
whichsooddlycontradictsthemodernuseoftheword—\"Realists。\"
TheybelievedclasseswereREALandindependentoftheirindividuals。Thisisthecommonhabitofallso-callededucatedpeoplewhohavenometaphysicalaptitudeandnometaphysicaltraining。Itleadsthemtoaprogressivemisunderstandingoftheworld。ItwasafavouritetrickofAltiora\'stospeakofeverybodyasa\"type\"；shesawmenassamplesmoving；herdining-roombecameachamberofrepresentatives。Itgaveatremendouslyscientificairtomanyoftheirgeneralisations，using\"scientific\"initsnineteenth-centuryuncriticalHerbertSpencersense，anairthatonlybegantodisappearwhenyouthoughtthemoveragainintermsofactualityandthepeopleoneknew……
AttheBaileys\'onealwaysseemedtobegettingone\'shandsontheverystringsthatguidedtheworld。Youheardlegislationprojectedtoaffectthis\"type\"andthat；statisticsmarchedbyyouwithsinandshameandinjusticeandmiseryreducedtoquitemanageablepercentages，youfoundmenwhoweretoframeoramendbillsingraveandintimateexchangewithBailey\'somniscience，youheardAltioracanvassingapproachingresignationsandpossibleappointmentsthatmightmakeormararevolutioninadministrativemethods，anddoingitwithavigorousdirectnessthatmanifestlyswayedthedecision；
andyoufeltyouwereinasortofsignalboxwithleversallaboutyou，andtheworldoutsidethere，albeitalittledarkandmysteriousbeyondthewindow，runningonitslinesinreadyobediencetotheseunhesitatinglights，trueandsteadytotrimtermini。
Andthenwithallthisadministrativefizzle，thispseudo-scientificadministrativechatter，dyingawayinyourhead，outyouwentintothelimitlessgrimychaosofLondonstreetsandsquares，roadsandavenueslinedwithteeminghouses，eachlargerthantheChambersStreethouseandatleastequallyalive，yousawthechaoticclamourofhoardings，thejumbleoftraffic，thecomingandgoingofmysteriousmyriads，youheardtherumbleoftrafficlikethenoiseofatorrent；avagueincessantmurmurofcriesandvoices，wantoncrimesandaccidentsbawledatyoufromtheplacards；imperativeunaccountablefashionsswaggeredtriumphantindazzlingwindowsoftheshops；andyoufoundyourselfswayingbacktotheoppositeconvictionthatthehugeformlessspiritoftheworlditwasthatheldthestringsanddancedthepuppetsontheBaileystage……
UnderthelampsyouwerejostledbypeoplelikemyStaffordshireuncleoutforaspree，yousawshyyouthsconversingwithprostitutes，youpassedyoungloverspairingwithanentiredisregardofthesocialsuitabilityofthe\"types\"theymightblendorcreate，yousawmenleaningdrunkenagainstlamp-postswhomyouknewforthe\"type\"thatwillchargewithfixedbayonetsintothefaceofdeath，andyoufoundyourselfunabletoimaginelittleBaileyachievingeitherdrunkennessorthecarelessdefianceofannihilation。YourealisedthatquitealotoftypeswereunderrepresentedinChambersStreet，thatferalandobscureandaltogethermonstrousforcesmustbeatwork，asyetaltogetherunassimilatedbythoseneatadministrativereorganisations。
5
Altiora，Iremember，preludedMargaret\'sreappearancebyannouncingherasa\"newtype。\"
IwasaccustomedtogoearlytotheBaileys\'dinnersinthosedays，forapreliminarygossipwithAltiorainfrontofherdrawing-roomfire。Onegotheralone，andthatearlyarrivalwasalittlesignofappreciationshevalued。Shehadeverywoman\'sneedoffollowersandservants。
\"I\'mgoingtosendyoudownto-night，\"shesaid，\"withaveryinterestingtypeindeed——oneofthenewgenerationofseriousgals。
Middle-classorigin——andquitewelloff。Richinfact。Herstep-
fatherwasasolicitorandsomethingofanENTREPRENEURtowardstheend，Ifancy——intheBlackCountry。Therewasalittlebrotherdied，andshe\'slosthermotherquiterecently。Quiteonherown，sotospeak。She\'sneverbeenoutintosocietyverymuch，anddoesn\'tseemreallyveryanxioustogo……Notexactlyanintellectualperson，youknow，butquiet，andgreatforceofcharacter。CameuptoLondononherownandcametous——someonehadtoldherwewerethesortofpeopletoadviseher——toaskwhattodo。I\'msureshe\'llinterestyou。\"
\"WhatCANpeopleofthatsortdo？\"Iasked。\"Isshecapableofinvestigation？\"
Altioracompressedherlipsandshookherhead。Shealwaysdidshakeherheadwhenyouaskedthatofanyone。
\"Ofcoursewhatsheoughttodo，\"saidAltiora，withhersilkdresspulledbackfromherkneebeforethefire，andwithaliftofhervoicetowardsachuckleatherdaringwayofputtingthings，\"istomarryamemberofParliamentandseehedoeshiswork……
Perhapsshewill。It\'saveryexceptionalgalwhocandoanythingbyherself——quiteexceptional。Themoreserioustheyare——withoutbeingexceptional——themorewewantthemtomarry。\"
Herexpositionwastruncatedbytheentryofthetypeinquestion。
\"Well！\"criedAltioraturning，andwithahighnoteofwelcome，\"HEREyouare！\"
Margarethadgainedindignityandprettinessbythelapseoffiveyears，andshewasnowverybeautifullyandrichlyandsimplydressed。Herfairhairhadbeendoneinsomewaythatmadeitseemsofterandmoreabundantthanitwasinmymemory，andagleamofpurplevelvet-setdiamondsshowedamidstitsmistoflittlegoldenandbrownlines。Herdresswasofwhiteandviolet，thelasttraceofmourningforhermother，andconfessedthegraciousdroopofhertallandslenderbody。ShedidnotsuggestStaffordshireatall，andIwaspuzzledforamomenttothinkwhereIhadmether。Hersweetlyshapedmouthwiththeslightobliquityofthelipandthelittlekinkinherbrowwereextraordinarilyfamiliartome。ButshehadeitherbeenpreparedbyAltioraorsherememberedmyname。
\"Wemet，\"shesaid，\"whilemystep-fatherwasalive——atMisterton。
Youcametoseeus\"；andinstantlyIrecalledthesunshinebetweentheappleblossomandaslenderpalebluegirlishshapeamongthedaffodils，likesomethingthathadsprungfromabulbitself。I
recalledatoncethatIhadfoundherveryinteresting，thoughIdidnotclearlyrememberhowitwasshehadinterestedme。
Otherguestsarrived——itwasoneofAltiora\'sboldlyblendedmixturesofpeoplewithideasandpeoplewithinfluenceormoneywhomightperhapsbeexpectedtoresonatetothem。Baileycamedownlatewithanairofhurry，andwasintroducedtoMargaretandsaidabsolutelynothingtoher——therebeingnoinformationeithertoreceiveorimpartandnothingtodo——butstoodsnatchinghisleftcheekuntilIrescuedhimandher，andlefthimfreetocongratulatethenewLadySnapeonherhusband\'sK。C。B。
ItookMargaretdown。Weachievednofeatsofmutualexpression，exceptthatitwasabundantlyclearwewerebothverypleasedandinterestedtomeetagain，andthatwehadbothkeptmemoriesofeachother。WemadethatMistertontea-partyandthesubsequentmarriagesofmycousinsandtheworldofBurslemgenerally，matterforquiteanagreeableconversationuntilatlastAltiora，followingherinvariablecustom，calledmebynameimperativelyoutofourduologue。\"Mr。Remington，\"shesaid，\"wewantyouropinion——\"inherentirelycharacteristicefforttogetallthethreadsofconversationintoherownhandsfortheclimaxthatalwayswoundupherdinners。Howtheotherwomenusedtohatethoseconcludingraidsofhers！Iforgetmostoftheotherpeopleatthatdinner，norcanIrecallwhatthecrowningrallywasabout。Itdidn\'tinanywayjoinontomyimpressionofMargaret。
Inthedrawing-roomofthemattingfloorIrejoinedher，withAltiora\'smanifestconnivance，andintheintervalIhadbeenthinkingofourformermeeting。
\"DoyoufindLondon，\"Iasked，\"giveyoumoreopportunityfordoingthingsandlearningthingsthanBurslem？\"
Sheshowedatoncesheappreciatedmyallusiontoherformerconfidences。\"Iwasverydiscontentedthen，\"shesaidandpaused。
\"I\'vereallyonlybeeninLondonforafewmonths。It\'ssodifferent。InBurslem，lifeseemsallbusinessandgetting——withoutanyreason。Onewentonanditdidn\'tseemtomeananything。Atleastanythingthatmattered……Londonseemstobesofullofmeanings——allmixeduptogether。\"
Sheknittedherbrowsoverherwordsandsmiledappealinglyattheendasifforconsiderationforherinadequateexpression，appealinglyandalmosthumorously。
Ilookedunderstandinglyather。\"Wehaveall，\"Iagreed，\"tocometoLondon。\"
\"Oneseessomuchdistress，\"sheadded，asifshefeltshehadcompletelyomittedsomething，andneededacodicil。
\"WhatareyoudoinginLondon？\"
\"I\'mthinkingofstudying。Somesocialquestion。IthoughtperhapsImightgoandstudysocialconditionsasMrs。Baileydid，goperhapsasawork-girlorseetherealityoflivingin，butMrs。
Baileythoughtperhapsitwasn\'tquitemywork。\"
\"Areyoustudying？\"
\"I\'mgoingtoagoodmanylectures，andperhapsIshalltakeuparegularcourseattheWestminsterSchoolofPoliticsandSociology。
ButMrs。Baileydoesn\'tseemtobelieveverymuchinthateither。\"
Herfaintlywhimsicalsmilereturned。\"Iseemratherindefinite，\"
sheapologised，\"butonedoesnotwanttogetentangledinthingsonecan\'tdo。One——onehassomanyadvantages，one\'slifeseemstobesuchatrustandsucharesponsibility——\"
Shestopped。
\"Amangetsdrivenintowork，\"Isaid。
\"ItmustbesplendidtobeMrs。Bailey，\"sherepliedwithaglanceofenviousadmirationacrosstheroom。
\"SHEhasnodoubts，anyhow，\"Iremarked。
\"SheHAD，\"saidMargaretwiththeprideofonewhohasreceivedgreatconfidences。
6
\"You\'vemetbefore？\"saidAltiora，adayorsolater。
Iexplainedwhen。
\"Youfindherinteresting？\"
IsawinaflashthatAltiorameanttomarrymetoMargaret。
Herintentionbecamemuchclearerastheyeardeveloped。Altiorawassystematiceveninmattersthatevadesystem。IwastomarryMargaret，andfreedfromtheneedofmakinganincomeIwastocomeintopolitics——asanexponentofBaileyism。Sheputitdownwiththeotherexcellentandadvantageousthingsthatshouldoccupyhersummerholiday。Itwasherprideandglorytoputthingsdownandplanthemoutindetailbeforehand，andI\'mnotquitesurethatshedidnotevenmarkoffthedayuponwhichtheengagementwastobedeclared。Ifshedid，Idisappointedher。Wedidn\'tcometoanengagement，inspiteofthebroadesthintsandtheglaringobviousnessofeverything，thatsummer。
EverysummertheBaileyswentoutofLondontosomehousetheyhiredorborrowed，leavingtheirsecretariestoilingbehind，andtheywentonworkinghardinthemorningsandeveningsandtakingexerciseintheopenairintheafternoon。Theycycledassiduouslyandwentforlongwalksatatrot，andraidedandstudiedandincidentallyexplainedthemselvestoanysocial\"types\"thatlivedintheneighbourhood。Oneinvadedtype，resentfulunderresearch，describedthemwithadreadfulaptnessasDonnaQuixoteandSanchoPanza——andhimselfasaharmlesswindmill，hurtingnooneandsignifyingnothing。Shedidrathertiltatthings。ThisparticularsummertheywereatapleasantfarmhouseinlevelcountrynearPangbourne，belongingtotheHon。WilfridWinchester，andtheyaskedmetocomedowntoroomsintheneighbourhood——AltioratookthemforamonthformeinAugust——andboardwiththemuponextremelyreasonableterms；andwhenIgotthereIfoundMargaretsittinginahammockatAltiora\'sfeet。Lotsofpeople，Igathered，werecomingandgoingintheneighbourhood，thePontswereinavillaontheriver，andtheRickhams\'houseboatwastomoorforsomedays；buttheseirruptionsdidnotimpedeagreatdealofduologuebetweenMargaretandmyself。
Altiorawasefficientratherthanartisticinhermatch-making。Shesentusoffforlongwalkstogether——Margaretwasafairlygoodwalker——sheexhumedsomedefectivecroquetthingsandincitedustocroquet，notunderstandingthatdetestablegameistheworststimulantforloversintheworld。AndMargaretandIwerealwaysgettingleftabout，andfindingourselvesforoddhalf-hoursinthekitchen-gardenwithnothingtodoexcepttalk，orweweretoldwithawaveofthehandtorunawayandamuseeachother。
Altioraeventriedapicnicincanoes，knowingfromfictionratherthanimaginationorexperiencetheconclusivenatureofsuchexcursions。Butthereshefumbledatthelastmoment，andelectedattheriver\'sbrinktoshareacanoewithme。Baileyshowedsomuchzealandsolittleskill——hishatfelloffandhebecamemiraculouslynothingbutpaddle-clutchinghandsandavastwrinkledbrow——thatatlasthehadtobepaddledignominiouslybyMargaret，whileAltiora，afteraphaseofrigiddiscretion，asnearlyaspossibledrownedherself——andmenodoubtintothebargain——withasuddenlateralgestureofthearmtoemphasisethehighnotewithwhichshedismissedtheefficiencyoftheCharityOrganisationSociety。Weshippedaboutaninchofwaterandsatinitfortherestofthetime，aninconvenienceshedisregardedheroically。WehaddifficultiesinlandingOscarfromhisfrailcraftupontheaitofourfeasting，——hedidn\'tbalancesidewaysandwasmuchalarmed，andafterwards，asMargarethadapaininherback，Itookhiminmycanoe，lethimhidehisshamewithanineffectualbutnotpositivelyharmfulpaddle，andtowedtheotherbymeansofthejoinedpainters。
StillitwasthefaultoftheinadequateinformationsuppliedinthebooksandnotofAltiorathatthatwasnotthedateofmybetrothal。
IfinditnotalittledifficulttostatewhatkeptmebackfromproposingmarriagetoMargaretthatsummer，andwhaturgedmeforwardatlasttomarryher。Itissomucheasiertorememberone\'sresolutionsthantorememberthemoodsandsuggestionsthatproducedthem。
Marryingandgettingmarriedwas，Ithink，aprettysimpleaffairtoAltiora；itwassomethingthathappenedtotheadolescentandunmarriedwhenyouthrewthemtogetherunderthecircumstancesofhealth，warmthandleisure。Ithappenedwiththekindlyandapprovingsmilesofthemoreexperiencedelderswhohadorganisedtheseproximities。Theyoungpeoplemarried，settleddown，childrenensued，andfatherandmotherturnedtheirminds，nowdecentlyandproperlydisillusioned，tootherthings。ThattoAltiorawasthenormalsexuallife，andshebelievedittobethequalityofthegreatbulkofthelifeabouther。
Oneofthegreatbarrierstohumanunderstandingisthewidetemperamentaldifferenceonefindsinthevaluesofthingsrelatingtosex。Itistheissueuponwhichpeoplemostneedtrainingincharityandimaginativesympathy。Herearenouniversalstandardsatall，andindeedfornosinglemannorwomandoesthereseemtobeanyfixedstandard，somuchdotheaccidentsofcircumstancesandone\'sphysicalphasesaffectone\'sinterpretations。Thereisnothinginthewholerangeofsexualfactthatmaynotseemsupremelybeautifulorhumanlyjollyormagnificentlywickedordisgustingortrivialorutterlyinsignificant，accordingtotheeyethatseesorthemoodthatcolours。Hereissomethingthatmayfilltheskiesandeverywakinghourorbealmostcompletelybanishedfromalife。ItmaybeeverythingonMondayandlessthannothingonSaturday。Andwemakeourlawsandrulesasthoughinthesemattersallmenandwomenwerecommensurableonewithanother，withanequalsteadfastpassionandanequalconstantduty……
Idon\'tknowwhatdreamsAltioramayhavehadinherschoolroomdays，Ialwayssuspectedherofsuppressedandforgottenphases，butcertainlyhergeneraleffectnowwasofanentirelypassionlessworldlinessinthesematters。IndeedsofarasIcouldgetather，sheregardedsexualpassionasbeinghardlymorelegitimateinacivilisedpersonthan——letussay——homicidalmania。Shemusthaveforgotten——andBaileytoo。Isuspectsheforgotbeforeshemarriedhim。Idon\'tsupposeeitherofthemhadtheslightestintimationofthedimensionssexuallovecantakeinthethoughtsofthegreatmajorityofpeoplewithwhomtheycomeincontact。Theylovedintheirway——anintellectualwayitwasandafondway——butithadnorelationtobeautyandphysicalsensation——exceptthatthereseemedadecreeofexileagainstthesethings。Theygottheirglowinhighmomentsofaltruisticambition——andinmomentsofvividworldlysuccess。Theysatatoppositeendsoftheirdinnertablewithsoandso\"captured，\"andsoandso，flushedwithamutualapproval。
Theysawpeopleinloveforgetfulanddistraughtaboutthem，andjustputitdowntoforgetfulnessanddistraction。AtanyrateAltioramanifestlyviewedmysituationandMargaret\'swithanabnormalandentirelymisleadingsimplicity。Therewasthegirl，rich，withanacceptableclaimtobebeautiful，shininglyvirtuous，quitecapableofpoliticalinterests，andtherewasI，talented，ambitiousandfullofpoliticalandsocialpassion，inneedofjustthemoney，devotionandregularisationMargaretcouldprovide。Wewerebothunmarried——whitesheetsofuninscribedpaper。Wasthereeverasimplersituation？Whatmorecouldwepossiblywant？
ShewasevenalittleoffendedattheinconclusivenessthatdidnotsettlethingsatPangbourne。Iseemedtoher，Isuspect，toreflectuponherjudgmentandgoodintentions。
7
Ididn\'tseethingswithAltiora\'ssimplicity。
IadmiredMargaretverymuch，IwasfullyawareofallthatsheandImightgiveeachother；indeedsofarasAltiorawentwewerequiteinagreement。ButwhatseemedsolidgroundtoAltioraandtheultimatefootingofheremasculatedworld，wastomejustthesuperficialcoveringofagulf——oh！abyssesofvagueanddim，andyetstupendouslysignificantthings。
Icouldn\'tdismisstheinterestsandthepassionofsexasAltioradid。Work，Iagreed，wasimportant；careerandsuccess；butdeepunanalysableinstinctstoldmethispreoccupationwasathingquiteasimportant；dangerous，interfering，destructiveindeed，butnonethelessadominatinginterestinlife。Ihavetoldhowflittinglyanduninviteditcamelikeamothfromtheoutertwilightintomylife，howitgrewinmewithmymanhood，howitfounditswaytospeechandgrewdaring，andledmeatlasttoexperience。AfterthatadventureatLocarnosexandtheinterestsanddesiresofsexneverleftmeforlongatpeace。Iwentonwithmyworkandmycareer，andallthetimeitwaslike——likesomeonetalkingeverandagaininaroomwhileonetriestowrite。
ThereweretimeswhenIcouldhavewishedtheworldaworldallofmen，sogreatlydidthisunassimilatedseriesofmotivesandcuriositieshamperme；andtimeswhenIcouldhavewishedtheworldallofwomen。Iseemedalwaystobeseekingsomethinginwomen，ingirls，andIwasneverclearwhatitwasIwasseeking。Butnever——
evenatmycoarsest——wasImovedbyphysicaldesirealone。WasI
seekinghelpandfellowship？WasIseekingsomeintimacywithbeauty？Itwasathingtooformlesstostate，thatIseemedalwaysdesiringtoattainandneverattaining。Wavesofgrosssensuousnessaroseoutofthispreoccupation，carriedmetoacrisisofgratificationordisappointmentthatwasclearlynottheneededthing；theypassedandleftmymindfreeagainforatimetogetonwiththepermanentpursuitsofmylife。Andthenpresentlythissolicitudewouldhavemeagain，anirrelevanceasitseemed，andyetaconstantlyrecurringdemand。
Idon\'twantparticularlytodwelluponthingsthataredisagreeableforotherstoread，butIcannotleavethemoutofmystoryandgettherightproportionsoftheforcesIambalancing。Iwasnoabnormalman，andthatworldoforderwedesiretomakemustbebuiltofsuchstuffasIwasandamandcanbeget。YoucannothaveaworldofBaileys；itwouldendinoneorderlygeneration。
HumanityisbegotteninDesire，livesbyDesire。
\"Lovewhichislust，istheLampintheTomb；
Lovewhichislust，istheCallfromtheGloom。\"
IechoHenley。
Isupposethelifeofcelibacywhichtheactive，well-fed，well-
exercisedandimaginativelystirredyoungmanoftheeducatedclassesissupposedtoleadfromtheageofnineteenortwenty，whenNaturecertainlymeanthimtomarry，tothirtyormore，whencivilisationpermitshimtodoso，isthemostimpossiblethingintheworld。Wedealherewithfactsthatarekeptsecretandobscure，butIdoubtformyownpartifmorethanonemanoutoffiveinourclasssatisfiesthatidealdemand。TherestareevenasIwas，andHatherleighandEsmeerandallthemenIknew。Idrawnolessonsandoffernopanacea；Ihavetotellthequalityoflife，andthisishowitis。Thisishowitwillremainuntilmenandwomenhavethecouragetofacethefactsoflife。
Iwasnosystematiclibertine，youmustunderstand；thingshappenedtomeanddesiredroveme。AnyyoungmanwouldhaveservedforthatLocarnoadventure，andafterthatwhathadbeenamysticandwonderfulthingpassedrapidlyintoagross，manifestlymisdirectedandcomplicatingone。Icancountameagretaleoffiveillicitlovesinthedaysofmyyouth，toincludethatfirstexperience，andofthemallonlytwoweresustainedrelationships。Besidesthesefive\"affairs，\"ononeortwooccasionsIdippedsolowastheinkydismalsensualityofthestreets，andmadeoneofthosepairsofcorrelatedfigures，thewomaninhersqualidfinerysailinghomeward，themanmodestlyaloofandbehind，thateverynightintheLondonyearflitbythescoreofthousandsacrossthesightoftheobservant……
Howuglyitistorecall；uglyandshamefulnowwithoutqualification！Yetatthetimetherewassurelysomethingnotaltogetheruglyinit——somethingthathasvanished，somefinethingmortallyailing。
OnesuchoccasionIrecallasifitwereavisiondeepdowninapit，asifithadhappenedinanotherstateofexistencetosomeoneelse。Andyetitisthesortofthingthathashappened，onceortwiceatleast，tohalfthemeninLondonwhohavebeeninapositiontomakeitpossible。Letmetryandgiveyouitspeculiareffect。Manorwoman，yououghttoknowofit。
Figuretoyourselfadingyroom，somewhereinthatnetworkofstreetsthatliesaboutTottenhamCourtRoad，adingybedroomlitbyasolitarycandleandcarpetedwithscrapsandpatches，withcurtainsofcretonneclosingthewindow，andatawdryornamentofpaperinthegrate。Isitonabedbesideaweary-eyed，fair-
haired，sturdyyoungwoman，halfundressed，whoistellingmeinbrokenGermansomethingthatmyknowledgeofGermanisatfirstinadequatetounderstand……
Ithoughtshewasboastingaboutherfamily，andthenslowlythemeaningcametome。ShewasaLettfromnearLibauinCourland，andshewastellingme——justasonetellssomethingtoostrangeforcommentoremotion——howherfatherhadbeenshotandhersisteroutragedandmurderedbeforehereyes。
Itwasasifonehaddippedintosomethingprimordialandstupendousbeneaththesmoothandtrivialsurfacesoflife。TherewasI，youknow，thepromisingyoungdonfromCambridge，whowrotequitebrilliantlyaboutpoliticsandmightpresentlygetintoParliament，withmycollarandtieinmyhand，andacertainsenseofshamefuladventurefadingoutofmymind。
\"AchGott！\"shesighedbywayofcomment，andmuseddeeplyforamomentbeforesheturnedherfacetome，astosomethingforgottenandremembered，andassumedthehalf-heartedmeretricioussmile。
\"Binicheinehubsche？\"sheaskedlikeonewhorepeatsalesson。
Iwasmovedtocraveherpardonandcomeaway。
\"Binicheinehubsche？\"sheaskedalittleanxiously，layingadetaininghanduponme，andevidentlynotunderstandingawordofwhatIwasstrivingtosay。
8
IfinditextraordinarilydifficulttorecallthephasesbywhichI
passedfrommyfirstadmirationofMargaret\'searnestnessandunconsciousdaintinesstoanintimateacquaintance。Theearlierencountersstandoutclearandhard，butthentheimpressionsbecomecrowdedandminglenotonlywitheachotherbutwithallthesubsequentdevelopmentsofrelationship，theenormousevolutionsofinterpretationandcomprehensionbetweenhusbandandwife。Dippingintomymemoriesislikedippingintoaragbag，onebringsoutthismemoryorthat，withnointimationofhowtheycameintimeorwhatledtothemandjoinedthemtogether。Andtheyareallmixedupwithsubsequentassociations，withsympathiesanddiscords，habitsofintercourse，surprisesanddisappointmentsanddiscoveredmisunderstandings。IknowonlythatalwaysmyfeelingsforMargaretwerecomplicatelfeelings，wovenofmanyandvariousstrands。
Itisoneofthecuriousneglectedaspectsoflifehowatthesametimeandinrelationtothesamerealitywecanhaveinourmindsstreamsofthoughtatquitedifferentlevels。Wecanbeatthesametimeidealisingapersonandseeingandcriticisingthatpersonquitecoldlyandclearly，andweslipunconsciouslyfromleveltolevelandproduceallsortsofinconsistentacts。InasenseIhadnoillusionsaboutMargaret；inasensemyconceptionofMargaretwasentirelypoeticillusion。Idon\'tthinkIwaseverblindtocertaindefectsofhers，andquiteascertainlytheydidn\'tseemtomatterintheslightestdegree。Hermindhadacuriouswantofvigour，\"flatness\"istheonlyword；sheneverseemedtoescapefromherphrase；herwayofthinking，herwayofdoingwasindecisive；
sheremainedinherattitude，itdidnotflowouttoeasy，confirmatoryaction。
Isawthisquiteclearly，andwhenwewalkedandtalkedtogetherI
seemedalwaystryingforanimationinherandneverfindingit。I
wouldstatemyideas。\"Iknow，\"shewouldsay，\"Iknow。\"
Italkedaboutmyselfandshelistenedwonderfully，butshemadenoansweringrevelations。Italkedpolitics，andsheremarkedwithherblueeyeswideandearnest：\"EveryWORDyousayseemssojust。\"
Iadmiredherappearancetremendouslybut——IcanonlyexpressitbysayingIdidn\'twanttotouchher。Herfairhairwasalwaysdelectablydone。Itflowedbeautifullyoverherprettysmallears，andshewouldtieitsfaircoilingswithfilletsofblackorbluevelvetthatcarriedprettybucklesofsilverandpaste。Thelight，thefaintdownonherbrowandcheekwasdelightful。AnditwascleartomethatImadeherhappy。
Mysenseofherdeficienciesdidn\'tstandinthewayofmyfallingatlastverydeeplyinlovewithher。Herveryshortcomingsseemedtooffermesomething……
Shestoodinmymindforgoodness——andforthingsfromwhichitseemedtomemyholdwasslipping。
Sheseemedtopromiseawayofescapefromthedeepeningoppositioninmebetweenphysicalpassionsandtheconstructivecareer，thecareerofwideaimsandhumanservice，uponwhichIhadembarked。
AllthetimethatIwasseeingherasabeautiful，fragile，ratherineffectivegirl，Iwasalsoseeingherjustasconsciouslyasashiningslenderfigure，aradiantreconciliation，comingintomydarklingdisordersoflustandimpulse。Icouldunderstandclearlythatshewasincapableofthemostnecessarysubtletiesofpoliticalthought，andyetIcouldcontemplateprayingtoherandputtingalltheintricatetroublesofmylifeatherfeet。
BeforethereappearanceofMargaretinmyworldatallanunwonteddisgustwiththeconsequencesandqualityofmypassionshadariseninmymind。AmongotherthingsthatmomentwiththeLettishgirlhauntedmepersistently。Iwouldseemyselfagainandagainsittingamidstthosesluttishsurroundings，collarandtieinhand，whileherheavyGermanwordsgroupedthemselvestoaslowlyapprehendedmeaning。Iwouldfeelagainwithafreshstabofremorse，thatthiswasnotaflashofadventure，thiswasnotseeinglifeinanypermissiblesense，butadipintotragedy，dishonour，hideousdegradation，andthepitilesscrueltyofaworldasyetuncontrolledbyanyorderedwill。
\"GoodGod！\"Iputittomyself，\"thatIshouldfinishtheworkthoseCossackshadbegun！Iwhowantorderandjusticebeforeeverything！
There\'snowayoutofit，nodecentexcuse！IfIdidn\'tthink，I
oughttohavethought！\"……
HowdidIgettoit？\"……Iwouldransackthephasesofmydevelopmentfromthefirstshyunveilingofahiddenwondertothelastextremityasamanwillgothroughmuddledaccountbookstofindsomedisorganisingerror……
Iwasalsoinvolvedatthattime——Ifindithardtoplacethesethingsintheexactorderoftheirdatesbecausetheyweresodisconnectedwiththeregularprogressofmyworkandlife——inanintrigue，aclumsy，sensuous，pretentious，artificiallystimulatedintrigue，withaMrs。Larrimer，awomanlivingseparatedfromherhusband。Iwillnotgointoparticularsofthatepisode，norhowwequarrelledandchafedoneanother。Shewasatonceunfaithfulandjealousandfullofwhimsaboutourmeetings；shewascarelessofoursecret，andvulgarisedourrelationshipbyintolerableinterpretations；exceptforsomeglowingmomentsofgratification，exceptfortherecurrentandessentiallyviciousdesirethatdrewusbacktoeachotheragain，webothfrettedatavexatiousandunexpectedlybindingintimacy。Theinterimwasfullofthequalityofworkdelayed，oftimeandenergywasted，ofinsecureprecautionsagainstscandalandexposure。Disappointmentisalmostinherentinillicitlove。Ihad，andperhapsitwaspartofherrecurrentirritationalso，afeelingasthoughonehadfollowedsomethingfineandbeautifulintoanet——intobirdlime！Thesefurtivescuffles，thissneakingintoshabbyhousesofassignation，waswhatwehadmadeoutofthesuggestionofpaganbeauty；thiswastherealityofourvisionofnymphsandsatyrsdancingforthejoyoflifeamidstincessantsunshine。Wehadlaidhandsuponthewonderandgloryofbodilyloveandwastedthem……
Itwasthesenseofwaste，offinelybeautifulpossibilitiesgettingentangledandmarredforeverthatoppressedme。Ihadmissed，I
hadlost。IdidnotturnfromthesethingsafterthefashionoftheBaileys，asoneturnsfromsomethinglowandembarrassing。Ifeltthatthesegreatorganicforceswerestilltobewroughtintoaharmonywithmyconstructivepassion。IfelttoothatIwasnotdoingit。Ihadnotunderstoodtheforcesinthisstrugglenoritsnature，andasIlearntIfailed。Ihadbeenstartedwrong，Ihadgoneonwrong，inaworldthatwasmuddledandconfused，fulloffalsecounselanderraticshamesandtwistedtemptations。Ilearnttoseeitsobyfailuresthatwereperhapsdestroyinganychanceofprofitinmylessons。Moodsofclearkeenindustryalternatedwithmoodsofrelapseandindulgenceandmoodsofdubietyandremorse。I
wasnotgoingonastheBaileysthoughtIwasgoingon。ThereweretimeswhentheblindnessoftheBaileysirritatedmeintensely。
Beneaththeostensiblesuccessofthoseyears，betweentwenty-threeandtwenty-eight，thisrottenness，knowntoscarcelyanyonebutmyself，grewandspread。Mysenseoftheprobabilityofacollapseintensified。Iknewindeednow，evenasWillersleyhadprophesiedfiveyearsbefore，thatIwasentanglingmyselfinsomethingthatmightsmotherallmyusesintheworld。Downthereamongthoseincommunicabledifficulties，Iwaspuzzledandblundering。Iwaslosingmyholduponthings；thechaoticandadventurouselementinlifewasspreadingupwardandgettingthebetterofme，over-
masteringmeandallmywilltoruleandmake……Andthestrength，thedruggingurgencyofthepassion！
Margaretshoneattimesinmyimaginationlikearadiantangelinaworldofmireanddisorder，inaworldofcravings，hotanddullredlikescarsinflamed……
IsupposeitwasbecauseIhadsogreataneedofsuchhelpasherwhitenessproffered，thatIcouldascribeimpossibleperfectionstoher，apowerofintellect，amoralpowerandpatiencetowhichshe，poorfellowmortal，hadindeednoclaim。IfonlyafewofusWERE
angelsandfreedfromthetangleofeffort，howeasylifemightbe！
Iwantedhersobadly，soverybadly，tobewhatIneeded。Iwantedawomantosaveme。IforcedmyselftoseeherasIwishedtoseeher。Hertepiditiesbecameinfinitedelicacies，hermentalvaguenessanatmosphericrealism。TheharshprecisionsoftheBaileysandAltiora\'sbluntdirectnessthrewupherfinenessintoreliefandmadeagraceofeveryweakness。
MixedupwiththememoryoftimeswhenItalkedwithMargaretasonetalkspolitelytothosewhoarehopelesslyinferiorinmentalquality，explainingwithafalselucidity，welcomingandencouragingthefeeblestresponse，whenpossiblemouldinganddirecting，aretimeswhenIdidindeed，astheoldphrasegoes，worshipthegroundshetrodon。Iwasequallyhonestandunconsciousofinconsistencyateachextreme。ButinneitherphasecouldIfinditeasytomakelovetoMargaret。ForinthefirstIdidnotwantto，thoughI
talkedabundantlytoherofmarriageandsoforth，andwasalittlepuzzledatmyselffornotgoingontosomepersonalapplication，andinthesecondsheseemedinaccessible，IfeltImustmakeconfessionsandputthingsbeforeherthatwouldbethegrossestoutrageuponthenoblepurityIattributedtoher。
9
IwenttoMargaretatlasttoaskhertomarryme，wroughtuptothemoodofonewhostakeshislifeonacast。Separatedfromher，andwiththeresonanceofaneveningofangryrecriminationswithMrs。
Larrimerechoinginmymind，IdiscoveredmyselftobequitepassionatelyinlovewithMargaret。Lastshredsofdoubtvanished。
IthasalwaysbeenafeatureofourrelationshipthatMargaretabsentmeansmoretomethanMargaretpresent；hermemorydistilsfromitsdrossandpurifiesinme。Allmycriticismsandqualificationsofhervanishedintosomedarkcornerofmymind。
Shewastheladyofmysalvation；Imustwinmywaytoherorperish。
Iwenttoheratlast，forallthatIknewshelovedme，inpassionateself-abasement，whiteanda-tremble。ShewasstayingwiththeRockleysatWoking，forShenaRockleyhadbeenatBennettHallwithherandtheyhadresumedacloseintimacy；andIwentdowntoheronanimpulse，unheralded。Iwaskeptwaitingforsomeminutes，Iremember，inalittleroomuponwhichaconservatoryopened，aconservatoryfullofpotsoflargemauve-edged，whitecyclamensinflower。Andtherewasabiglacquercabinet，aChinesething，Isuppose，ofblackandgoldagainstthered-tonedwall。TothisdaythethoughtofMargaretisinseparablyboundupwiththesightofacyclamen\'sback-turnedpetals。
Shecamein，lookingpaleanddroopingrathermorethanusual。I
suddenlyrealisedthatAltiora\'shintofadisappointmentleadingtopositiveillnesswassomethingmorethanavindictivecomment。Sheclosedthedoorandcameacrosstomeandtookanddroppedmyhandandstoodstill。\"Whatisityouwantwithme？\"sheasked。
ThespeechIhadbeenturningoverandoverinmymindonthewayvanishedatthesightofher。
\"Iwanttotalktoyou，\"Iansweredlamely。
Forsomesecondsneitherofussaidaword。
\"Iwanttotellyouthingsaboutmylife，\"Ibegan。
Sheansweredwithascarcelyaudible\"yes。\"
\"IalmostaskedyoutomarrymeatPangbourne，\"Iplunged。\"I
didn\'t。Ididn\'tbecause——becauseyouhadtoomuchtogiveme。\"
\"Toomuch！\"sheechoed，\"togiveyou！\"Shehadliftedhereyestomyfaceandthecolourwascomingintohercheeks。
\"Don\'tmisunderstandme，\"Isaidhastily。\"Iwanttotellyouthings，thingsyoudon\'tknow。Don\'tanswerme。Iwanttotellyou。\"
Shestoodbeforethefireplacewithherultimateanswershiningthroughthequietofherface。\"Goon，\"shesaid，verysoftly。ItwassopitilesslymanifestshewasresolvedtoidealisethesituationwhateverImightsay。Ibeganwalkingupanddowntheroombetweenthosecyclamensandthecabinet。Therewerelittlegoldfishermenonthecabinetfishingfromlittleislandsthateachhadapagodaandatree，andtherewerealsomeninboatsorsomething，Icouldn\'tdeterminewhat，andsomeobscuresub-officeinmymindconcerneditselfwiththatquiteintently。YetIseemtohavebeenstrivingwithallmybeingtogetwordsforthetruthofthings。\"Yousee，\"Iemerged，\"youmakeeverythingpossibletome。
Youcangivemehelpandsympathy，support，understanding。Youknowmypoliticalambitions。YouknowallthatImightdointheworld。
Idosointenselywanttodoconstructivethings，bigthingsperhaps，inthiswildjumble……Onlyyoudon\'tknowabitwhatIam。IwanttotellyouwhatIam。I\'mcomplex……I\'mstreaked。\"
Iglancedather，andshewasregardingmewithanexpressionofblissfuldisregardforanymeaningIwasseekingtoconvey。
\"Yousee，\"Isaid，\"I\'mabadman。\"
Shesoundedanoteofvaliantincredulity。
Everythingseemedtobeslippingawayfromme。Ipushedontotheuglyfactsthatremainedoverfromthewreckofmyinterpretation。
\"Whathasheldmeback，\"Isaid，\"isthethoughtthatyoucouldnotpossiblyunderstandcertainthingsinmylife。Menarenotpureaswomenare。Ihavehadloveaffairs。ImeanIhavehadaffairs。
Passion——desire。Yousee，Ihavehadamistress，Ihavebeenentangled——\"
Sheseemedabouttospeak，butIinterrupted。\"I\'mnottellingyou，\"Isaid，\"whatImeanttotellyou。Iwantyoutoknowclearlythatthereisanothersidetomylife，adirtyside。DeliberatelyI
say，dirty。Itdidn\'tseemsoatfirst——\"
Istoppedblankly。\"Dirty，\"Ithought，wasthemostidioticchoiceofwordstohavemade。
Ihadneverinanytolerablesenseofthewordbeendirty。
\"Idriftedintothis——asmendo，\"Isaidafteralittlepauseandstoppedagain。
Shewaslookingatmewithherwideblueeyes。
\"Didyouimagine，\"shebegan，\"thatIthoughtyou——thatIexpected——\"
\"Buthowcanyouknow？\"
\"Iknow。Idoknow。\"
\"But——\"Ibegan。
\"Iknow，\"shepersisted，droppinghereyelids。\"OfcourseIknow，\"
andnothingcouldhaveconvincedmemorecompletelythatshedidnotknow。
\"Allmen——\"shegeneralised。\"Awomandoesnotunderstandthesetemptations。\"
Iwasastonishedbeyondmeasureatherwayoftakingmyconfession……
\"Ofcourse，\"shesaid，hesitatingalittleoveratransparentdifficulty，\"itisalloverandpast。\"
\"It\'salloverandpast，\"Ianswered。
Therewasalittlepause。
\"Idon\'twanttoknow，\"shesaid。\"Noneofthatseemstomatternowintheslightestdegree。\"
Shelookedupandsmiledasthoughwehadexchangedsomeacceptablecommonplaces。\"Poordear！\"shesaid，dismissingeverything，andputoutherarms，anditseemedtomethatIcouldheartheLettishgirlinthebackground——doomedsafetyvalveofpurityinthisintolerableworld——tellingsomethinginindistinguishableGerman——Iknownotwhatnorwhy……
ItookMargaretinmyarmsandkissedher。Hereyeswerewetwithtears。Sheclungtomeandwasnear，Ifelt，tosobbing。
\"Ihavelovedyou，\"shewhisperedpresently，\"Oh！eversincewemetinMisterton——sixyearsandmoreago。\"
CHAPTERTHETHIRD
MARGARETINVENICE
1
TherecomesintomymindaconfusedmemoryofconversationswithMargaret；wemusthavehaddozensaltogether，andtheymixinnowforthemostpartinextricablynotonlywithoneanother，butwithlatertalksandwiththingswediscussedatPangbourne。Wehadtheimmensestanticipationsoftheyearsandopportunitiesthatlaybeforeus。Iwasnowverydeeplyinlovewithherindeed。IfeltnotthatIhadcleanedupmylifebutthatshehad。Wecalledeachother\"confederate\"Iremember，andmadeduringourbriefengagementaseriesofvisitstothevariouslegislativebodiesinLondon，theCountyCouncil，theHouseofCommons，wherewedinedwithVilliers，andtheSt。PancrasVestry，whereweheardShawspeaking。Iwasfullofplansandsowassheofthewayinwhichweweretoliveandwork。WeweretopaybackinpublicservicewhateverexcessofwealthbeyondhismeritsoldSeddon\'seconomicadvantagehadwonforhimfromthetoilingpeopleinthepotteries。TheendoftheBoerWarwassorecentthatthatblessedword\"efficiency\"echoedstillinpeople\'smindsandthoughts。LordRoseberryinamemorableorationhadputitintotheheadsofthebigouterpublic，buttheBaileyswithacertainshowofjusticeclaimedtohavesetitgoinginthechannelsthattookittohim——ifasamatteroffactitwastakentohim。Butthenitwastheirhabittomakeclaimsofthatsort。Theycertainlydidtheirsharetokeep\"efficient\"going。
Altiora\'shighestpraisewas\"thoroughlyefficient。\"Weweretobea\"thoroughlyefficient\"politicalcoupleofthe\"newtype。\"SheexplainedustoherselfandOscar，sheexplainedustoourselves，sheexplainedustothepeoplewhocametoherdinnersandafternoonsuntiltheworldwashighlychargedwithexplanationandexpectation，andtheproposalthatIshouldbetheLiberalcandidatefortheKinghamsteadDivisionseemedthemostnaturaldevelopmentintheworld。
Iwasfulloftheidealofhardrestrainedlivingandrelentlessactivity，andthroughoutabeautifulNovemberatVenice，wherechieflywespentourhoneymoon，weturnedoverandoveragainanddiscussedineveryaspectourconceptionofalifetremendouslyfocussedupontheidealofsocialservice。
MostclearlytherestandsoutapictureofourselvestalkinginagondolaonourwaytoTorcella。FarawaybehindusthesmokeofMuranoformsablackstainuponanimmenseshiningprospectofsmoothwater，waterasunruffledandluminousastheskyabove，amirroronwhichrowsofpostsanddistantblackhigh-stemmed，swan-
neckedboatswiththeirminutelyclearswinginggondoliers，floataerially。Remoteandlowbeforeusrisesthelittletowerofourdestination。Ourmenswingtogetherandtheiroarsswirlleisurelythroughthewater，humpbackintherowlocks，splashsharplyandgoswishingbackagain。Margaretliesbackoncushions，withherfaceshadedbyahollandparasol，andIsitupbesideher。
\"Yousee，\"Isay，andinspiteofMargaret\'snoteofperfectacquiescenceIfeelmyselfreasoningagainstanindefinableantagonism，\"itissoeasytofallintoaslackwaywithlife。
Theremayseemtobesomethingpriggishinameticulousdiscipline，butotherwiseitissoeasytoslipintoindolenthabits——andtobedistractedfromone\'spurpose。Thecountry，theworld，wantsmentoserveitsconstructiveneeds，toworkoutandcarryoutplans。Foramanwhohastomakealivingtheenemyisimmediatenecessity；forpeoplelikeourselvesit\'s——it\'stheconstantsmallopportunityofagreeablethings。\"
\"Fritteringaway，\"shesays，\"timeandstrength。\"
\"ThatiswhatIfeel。It\'ssopleasanttopretendoneissimplymodest，itlookssofoolishattimestotakeone\'sselftooseriously。We\'veGOTtotakeourselvesseriously。\"
Sheendorsesmywordswithhereyes。
\"IfeelIcandogreatthingswithlife。\"
\"IKNOWyoucan。\"
\"Butthat\'sonlytobedonebyconcentratingone\'slifeupononemainend。Wehavetoplanourdays，tomakeeverythingsubserveourscheme。\"
\"Ifeel，\"sheanswerssoftly，\"weoughttogive——everyhour。\"
Herfacebecomesdreamy。\"IWANTtogiveeveryhour，\"sheadds。
2
ThatholidayinVeniceissetinmymemorylikealittleartificiallakeinunevenconfusedcountry，assomethingverybrightandskylike，anddiscontinuouswithallaboutit。Thefadedqualityoftheverysunshineofthatseason，themellowdiscolouredpalacesandplaces，thehuge，time-ripenedpaintingsofdepartedsplendours，thewhispering，nearlynoiselesspassageofhearse-blackgondolas，forthehorriblesteamlaunchhadnotyetruinedVenice，thestilledmagnificencesofthedepopulatedlagoons，theuniversalautumn，mademefeelaltogetherinrecessfromtheteeminguproarsofreality。
Therewasnotadozenpeoplealltold，noAmericansandscarcelyanyEnglish，todineinthebigcavernofadining-room，withitsvistasofseparatetables，itsdistemperedwallsanditsswathedchandeliers。Wewentaboutseeingbeautifulthings，acceptingbeautyoneveryhand，andtakingitforgrantedthatallwaswellwithourselvesandtheworld。ItwastendaysorafortnightbeforeIbecamefretfulandanxiousforaction；alongtranquillityforsuchatemperamentasmine。
Ourpleasureswerecuriouslyimpersonal，asuccessionofsharedaestheticappreciationthreadsallthattime。Ourhoneymoonwasnoexultantcomingtogether，nomutualshoutof\"YOU！\"Wewerealmostshywithoneanother，andfeltthereliefofevenapicturetohelpusout。ItwasentirelyinmyconceptionofthingsthatIshouldbeverywatchfulnottoshockordistressMargaretorpressthesensuousnote。Ourlove-makinghadmuchofthetepidsmoothnessofthelagoons。Wetalkedindelicateinnuendoofwhatshouldbegloriousfreedoms。MargarethadmissedVeronaandVeniceinherpreviousItalianjourney——fearofthemosquitohaddrivenhermotheracrossItalytothewestwardroute——andnowshecouldfilluphergapsandseetheTitiansandPaulVeronesesshealreadyknewincolourlessphotographs，theCarpaccios，theSt。Georgeseriesdelightedherbeyondmeasure，theBasaitisandthatgreatstatueofBartolomeoColleonithatRuskinpraised。
ButsinceIamnotamantolookatpicturesandarchitecturaleffectsdayafterday，IdidwatchMargaretverycloselyandstoreathousandmemoriesofher。Icanseehernow，herlongbodydroopingalittleforward，hersweetfaceupraisedtosomediscoveredfamiliarmasterpieceandshiningwithadelicateenthusiasm。Icanhearagainthesoftcadencesofhervoicemurmuringcommonplacecomments，forshehadnogiftofexpressingtheshapelesssatisfactionthesethingsgaveher。
Margaret，Iperceived，wasacultivatedperson，thefirstcultivatedpersonwithwhomIhadevercomeintoclosecontact。Shewascultivatedandmoral，andI，Inowrealise，wasnevereitherofthesethings。Shewaspassive，andIamactive。Shedidnotsimplyandnaturallylookforbeautybutshehadbeenincitedtolookforitatschool，andtookperhapsakeenerinterestinbooksandlecturesandalltheorganisationofbeautifulthingsthanshedidinbeautyitself；shefoundmuchofherdelightinbeingguidedtoit。Nowathingceasestobebeautifultomewhensomefingerpointsmeoutitsmerits。Beautyisthesaltoflife，butItakemybeautyasawildbeastgetsitssalt，asaconstituentofthemeal……
Andbesides，therewasthatbetweenusthatshouldhaveseemedmorebeautifulthananypicture……
SowewentaboutVenicetrackingdownpicturesandspiralstaircasesandsuch-likethings，andmybrainswerebusyallthetimewithsuchthingsasacomparisonofVeniceanditsnearestmodernequivalent，NewYork，withtheelaborationofschemesofactionwhenwereturnedtoLondon，withthedevelopmentofatheoryofMargaret。
Ourmarriagehaddonethismuchatleast，thatithadfusedanddestroyedthosetwoindependentwaysofthinkingaboutherthathadgoneoninmymindhitherto。Suddenlyshehadbecomeveryneartome，andaverybigthing，asortofcomprehensivegeneralisationbehindathousandquestions，liketheskyorEngland。Thejudgmentsandunderstandingsthathadworkedwhenshewas，sotospeak，milesawayfrommylife，hadnowtobealtogetherrevised。Triflingthingsbegantomatterenormously，thatshehadaweakandeasilyfatiguedback，forexample，orthatwhensheknittedherbrowsandstammeredalittleintalking，itdidn\'treallymeanthatanexquisitesignificancestruggledforutterance。
Wevisitedpicturesinthemorningschiefly。Intheafternoon，unlessweweremakingaday-longexcursioninagondola，MargaretwouldrestforanhourwhileIprowledaboutinsearchofEnglishnewspapers，andthenwewouldgototeainthePiazzaSanMarcoandwatchthedriftofpeoplefeedingthepigeonsandgoingintothelittledoorsbeneaththesunlitarchesanddomesofSaintMark\'s。
ThenperhapswewouldstrollonthePiazzetta，orgooutintothesunsetinagondola。Margaretbecameveryinterestedintheshopsthataboundunderthecolonnadesanddecidedatlasttomakeanextensivepurchaseoftableglass。\"Thesethings，\"shesaid，arequitebeautiful，andfarcheaperthananythingbutthemostordinarylookingEnglishware。\"Iwasinterestedinheridea，andagooddealcharmedbythedelightfulqualitiesoftintedshape，slenderhandleandtwistedstem。Isuggestedweshouldgetnotsimplytumblersandwineglassesbutbedroomwaterbottles，fruit-andsweet-
dishes，water-jugs，andintheendwemadequiteabusiness-likeafternoonofit。
Iwasbeginningnowtolongquitedefinitelyforevents。Energywasaccumulatinginme，andworryingmeforanoutlet。IfoundtheTIMESandtheDAILYTELEGRAPHandtheotherpapersImanagedtogetholdof，moreandmorestimulating。InearlywrotetotheformerpaperonedayinanswertoaletterbyLordGrimthorpe——Iforgetnowuponwhatpoint。Ichafedsecretlyagainstthislifeoftranquilappreciationsmoreandmore。IfoundmyattitudesofrestrainedanddelicateaffectionforMargaretincreasinglydifficulttosustain。
Isurprisedmyselfandherbylittlegustsofirritability，gustslikethecatspawsbeforeagale。Iwasalarmedatthesesymptoms。
OnenightwhenMargarethadgoneuptoherroom，Iputonalightovercoat，wentoutintothenightandprowledforalongtimethroughthenarrowstreets，smokingandthinking。Ireturnedandwentandsatontheedgeofherbedtotalktoher。
\"Lookhere，Margaret，\"Isaid；\"thisisallverywell，butI\'mrestless。\"
\"Restless！\"shesaidwithafaintsurpriseinhervoice。
\"Yes。IthinkIwantexercise。I\'vegotasortoffeeling——I\'veneverhaditbefore——asthoughIwasgettingfat。\"
\"Mydear！\"shecried。
\"Iwanttodothings；——ridehorses，climbmountains，takethedeviloutofmyself。\"
Shewatchedmethoughtfully。
\"Couldn\'tweDOsomething？\"shesaid。
Dowhat？
\"Idon\'tknow。Couldn\'tweperhapsgoawayfromheresoon——andwalkinthemountains——onourwayhome。\"
Ithought。\"Thereseemstobenoexerciseatallinthisplace。\"
\"Isn\'ttheresomewalk？\"
\"Iwonder，\"Ianswered。\"WemightwalktoChioggiaperhaps，alongtheLido。\"Andwetriedthat，butthelongstretchofbeachfatiguedMargaret\'sback，andgaveherblisters，andwenevergotbeyondMalamocco……
Adayorsoafterwewentouttothosepleasantblack-robed，beardedArmeniansintheirmonasteryatSaintLazzaro，andreturnedtowardssundown。Wefellintosilence。\"PIULENTO，\"saidMargarettothegondolier，andreleasedmyaccumulatedresolution。
\"LetusgobacktoLondon，\"Isaidabruptly。
Margaretlookedatmewithsurprisedblueeyes。
\"Thisisbeautifulbeyondmeasure，youknow，\"Isaid，stickingtomypoint，\"butIhaveworktodo。\"
Shewassilentforsomeseconds。\"Ihadforgotten，\"shesaid。
\"SohadI，\"Isympathised，andtookherhand。\"SuddenlyIhaveremembered。\"
Sheremainedquitestill。\"Thereissomuchtobedone，\"Isaid，almostapologetically。
Shelookedlongawayfrommeacrossthelagoonandatlastsighed，likeonewhohasdrunkdeeply，andturnedtome。
\"Isupposeoneoughtnottobesohappy，\"shesaid。\"Everythinghasbeensobeautifulandsosimpleandsplendid。Andclean。IthasbeenjustWithYou——thetimeofmylife。It\'sapitysuchthingsmustend。Buttheworldiscallingyou，dear……Ioughtnottohaveforgottenit。Ithoughtyouwereresting——andthinking。Butifyouarerested——Wouldyoulikeustostartto-morrow？\"
ShelookedatoncesofragileandsodevotedthatonthespurofthemomentIrelented，andwestayedinVenicefourmoredays。
CHAPTERTHEFOURTH
THEHOUSEINWESTMINSTER
1
MargarethadalreadytakenalittlehouseinRadnorSquare，Westminster，beforeourmarriage，ahousethatseemedparticularlyadaptabletoourneedsaspublic-spiritedefficients；ithadbeenverypleasantlypaintedandpaperedunderMargaret\'sinstructions，whitepaintandcleanopenpurplesandgreenpredominating，andnowwesettoworkatonceupontheinterestingbusinessofarrangingand——withourVenetianglassasabeginning——furnishingit。Wehadbeenfairlyfortunatewithourweddingpresents，andforthemostpartitwasopentoustochoosejustexactlywhatwewouldhaveandjustpreciselywherewewouldputit。
Margarethadasenseofformandcolouraltogethersuperiortomine，andsoquiteapartfromthefactthatitwashermoneyequippedus，Istoodasidefromallthesemattersandobeyedhersummonstoaconsultationonlytoendorseherjudgmentveryreadily。UntileverythingwassettledIwenteverydaytomyoldroomsinVincentSquareandworkedataseriesofpapersthatwereoriginallyintendedfortheFORTNIGHTLYREVIEW，thepapersthatafterwardsbecamemyfourthbook，\"NewAspectsofLiberalism。\"
Istillrememberasdelightfulmostofthecircumstancesofgettinginto79，RadnorSquare。ThethinflavourofindecisionaboutMargaretdisappearedaltogetherinashop；shehadtheprecisestideasofwhatshewanted，andthedevicesofthesalesmandidnotswayher。Itwasverypleasanttofindhertakingthingsoutofmyhandswithacertainmasterfulness，andshowingthedistinctestdeterminationtomakeahouseinwhichIshouldbeabletoworkinthatgreatprojectof\"doingsomethingfortheworld。\"
\"AndIdowanttomakethingsprettyaboutus，\"shesaid。\"Youdon\'tthinkitwrongtohavethingspretty？\"
\"Iwantthemso。\"
\"Altiorahasthingshard。\"
\"Altiora，\"Ianswered，\"takesaprideinstandinguglyanduncomfortablethings。ButIdon\'tseethattheyhelpher。Anyhowtheywon\'thelpme。\"
SoMargaretwenttothebestshopsandgoteverythingverysimpleandverygood。Sheboughtsomepicturesverywellindeed；therewasalittleSussexlandscape，fullofwindandsunshine，byNicholson，formystudy，thathitmytastefarbetterthanifIhadgoneouttogetsomesuchexpressionformyself。
\"Wewillbuyapicturejustnowandthen，\"shesaid，\"sometimes——
whenweseeone。\"
IwouldcomebackthroughtheJanuarymireorfogfromVincentSquaretothedoorof79，andreachitatlastwithaquitechildishappreciationofthefactthatitssolidGeorgianproportionsanditsfinebrassfurnishingsbelongedtoMYhome；IwouldusemylatchkeyanddiscoverMargaretinthewarm-lit，spacioushallwithapartiallyopenedpacking-case，fatiguedbuthappy，orgouptohaveteawithheroutoftherightteathings，\"comeatlast，\"orbetoldtonoticewhatwasfreshthere。Itwasn\'tsimplythatIhadneverhadahousebefore，butIhadreallyneverbeen，exceptinthemosttransitoryway，inanyhousethatwasnearlysodelightfulasminepromisedtobe。Everythingwasfreshandbright，andsoftlyandharmoniouslytoned。Downstairswehadagreendining-roomwithgleamingsilver，darkoak，andEnglishcolour-prints；abovewasalargedrawing-roomthatcouldbemadestilllargerbythrowingopenfoldingdoors，anditwasallcarefullydoneingreysandblues，forthemostpartwithrealSheratonsupplementedbySheratonsoskilfullyimitatedbyanexpertMargarethaddiscoveredastobeindistinguishableexcepttoaminutescrutiny。Andforme，abovethisandnexttomybedroom，therewasaroomystudy，withspeciallythickstair-carpetoutsideandthickcarpetsinthebedroomoverheadandabigolddeskformetositatandworkbetweenfireandwindow，andanotherdeskspeciallymadeformebythatexpertifI
chosetostandandwrite，andopenbookshelvesandbookcasesandeverysortofconvenientfitting。Therewereelectricheatersbesidetheopenfire，andeverythingwasputformetomaketeaatanytime——electrickettle，infuser，biscuitsandfreshbutter，sothatIcouldgetupandworkatanyhourofthedayornight。I
coulddonoworkinthisapartmentforalongtime，Iwassointerestedintheperfectionofitsarrangements。AndwhenI
broughtinmybooksandpapersfromVincentSquare，Margaretseizeduponallthereallyshabbyvolumesandhadthemre-boundinafineofficial-lookingleather。
IcanremembersittingdownatthatdeskandlookingroundmeandfeelingwithaqueereffectofsurprisethatafterallevenaplaceintheCabinet，thoughinfinitelyremote，wasneverthelessinthesamelargeworldwiththesefineandquietlyexpensivethings。