Hehelpedtobroadenmygeographicalsenseimmensely，andheprovidedphrasesforjustthatdesirefordisciplineanddevotionandorganisedefforttheSocialismofourtimefailedtoexpress，thatthecurrentsocialistmovementstillfails，Ithink，toexpress。Thesortofthingthatfollows，forexample，toresomethingoutofmyinmostnatureandgaveitashape，andItookitbackfromhimshapedandletmuchoftherestofhim，thetumultandthebullying，thehysteriaandtheimpatience，theincoherenceandinconsistency，gouncriticisedforthesakeofit：——
\"KeepyetheLaw——beswiftinallobedience——
Clearthelandofevil，drivetheroadandbridgetheford，MakeyesuretoeachhisownThathereapwherehehathsown；
BythepeaceamongOurpeoplesletmenknowweservetheLord！\"
Andthenagain，andforallourlatercriticism，thissticksinmymind，stickstherenowasquintessentialwisdom：
The\'eathenin\'isblindnessbowsdowntowoodan\'stone；
\'Edon\'tobeynoordersunlesstheyis\'isown；
\'Ekeeps\'isside-armsawful：\'eleaves\'emallaboutAn\'thencomesuptheregimentan\'pokesthe\'eathenout。
Allalongo\'dirtiness，allalongo\'mess，Allalongo\'doin\'thingsrather-more-or-less，Allalongofabby-nay，kul，an\'hazar-ho，Mindyoukeepyourriflean\'yourselfjus\'so！\"
ItisafterallasecondarymatterthatKipling，nothavingbeenbornandbroughtupinBromsteadandPenge，andthewarinSouthAfricabeingyetinthewomboftime，couldquitehonestlyentertainthenowremarkabledelusionthatEnglandhadherside-armsatthattimekeptanythingbut\"awful。\"Helearntbetter，andwealllearntwithhiminthedarkyearsofexasperatingandhumiliatingstrugglethatfollowed，andIdonotseethatwefellowlearnersarejustifiedinturningresentfullyuponhimforacommonignoranceandassumption……
SouthAfricaseemsalwayspaintedonthebackclothofmyCambridgememories。Howimmensethosedisastersseemedatthetime，disastersourfacileEnglishworldhaslongsincecontrivedinanyedifyingorprofitablesensetoforget！Howwethrilledtotheshoutingnewspapersellersasthefirstfalseflushofvictorygaveplacetotherealisationofdefeat。Farawaythereourarmyshoweditselfhuman，mortalandhumaninthesightofalltheworld，thepleasantofficerswehadimaginedwouldchangetowonderfulheroesatthefirstcracklingofrifles，remainedthepleasant，ratherincompetentmentheyhadalwaysbeen，failingtoimagine，failingtoplanandco-operate，failingtogrip。Andthecommonsoldiers，too，theywerejustwhatourstreetsandcountry-sidehadmadethem，nosuddenmagiccameoutofthewarbuglesforthem。Neithersplendidnordisgracefulwerethey，——justill-trainedandfairlypluckyandwonderfullygood-temperedmen——payingforit。AndhowitloweredourvitalityallthatfirstwintertohearofNicholson\'sNek，andthenpresentlycloseupononeanother，torealisethebloodywasteofMagersfontein，theshatteringretreatfromStormberg，Colenso——
Colenso，thatblunderingbattle，withWhite，asitseemed，inLadysmithnearthepointofsurrender！andsothroughthelongunfoldingcatalogueofbleakdisillusionments，ofaching，unconcealedanxietylestworseshouldfollow。Toadvanceuponyourenemysingingabouthislackofcleanlinessandmethodwentoutoffashionaltogether！ThedirtyretrogressiveBoervanishedfromourschemeofillusion。
AllthroughmymiddleCambridgeperiod，thegunsboomedandtheriflescrackledawaythereontheveldt，andthehorsemenrodeandthetaleofaccidentsandblunderingwenton。Men，mules，horses，storesandmoneypouredintoSouthAfrica，andtheconvalescentwoundedstreamedhome。IseeitinmymemoryasifIhadlookedatitthroughawindowinsteadofthroughthepagesoftheillustratedpapers；IrecallasifIhadbeentherethewideopenspaces，theraggedhillsides，theopenorderattacksofhelmetedmeninkhaki，thescarcevisiblesmokeoftheguns，thewreckedtrainsingreatlonelyplaces，theburntisolatedfarms，andatlasttheblockhousesandthefencesofbarbedwireuncoilingandspreadingforendlessmilesacrossthedesert，nettingtheelusiveenemyuntilatlast，thoughhebrokethemeshesagainandagain，wehadhiminthetoils。
Ifone\'sattentionstrayedinthelecture-roomitwanderedtothosebattle-fields。
AndthatimaginedpanoramaofwarunfoldstoanaccompanimentofyellingnewsboysinthenarrowoldCambridgestreets，oftheflickerofpapershastilyboughtandtornopeninthetwilight，ofthedoubtfulreceptionofdoubtfulvictories，andtheinsensaterejoicingsatlastthatseemedtosomeofusmoreshamefulthandefeats……
7
Abookthatstandsoutamongthesememories，thatstimulatedmeimmenselysothatIforcedituponmycompanions，halfinthespiritofpropagandaandhalftotestitbytheircomments，wasMeredith\'sONEOFOURCONQUERORS。Itisoneofthebooksthathavemademe。
InthatIgotasupplementandcorrectiveofKipling。ItwasthefirstdetachedandadversecriticismoftheEnglishmanIhadeverencountered。ItmusthavebeenpublishedalreadynineortenyearswhenIreadit。Thecountryhadpaidnoheedtoit，hadgoneontotheexpensivelessonsoftheWarbecauseofthedullaversionourpeoplefeelforallsuchintimations，andsoIcouldreaditasabookjustified。Thewarendorseditseverywordforme，underlinedeachwarningindicationofthegiganticdangersthatgatheredagainstoursystemacrossthenarrowseas。ItdiscoveredEuropetome，aswatchingandcritical。
ButwhileIcouldrespondtoallitscriticismsofmycountry\'sintellectualindolence，ofmycountry\'swantoftraininganddisciplineandmoralcourage，Irememberthattheideathatonthecontinenttherewereotherpeoplesgoingaheadofus，mentallyalertwhilewefumbled，disciplinedwhileweslouched，aggressiveandpreparingtobringourImperialpridetoareckoning，wasextremelynovelanddistastefultome。Itsetmeworryingofnights。Itputallmyprojectsforsocialandpoliticalreconstructionuponanewuncomfortablefooting。Itmadethemnolongermerelydesirablebuturgent。Insteadofprideandtheloveofmakingonemightowntoabasermotive。UnderKipling\'sswayIhadalittleforgottenthecontinentofEurope，treateditasamereenviousechotoourownworld-widedisplay。Ibegannowtohaveadisturbingsenseasitwereofbusysearchlightsoverthehorizon……
OneconsequenceofthepatrioticchagrinMeredithproducedinmewasanattempttobelittlehismerit。\"Itisn\'tagoodnovel，anyhow，\"
Isaid。
ThechargeIbroughtagainstitwas，Iremember，alackofunity。
ItprofessedtobeastudyoftheEnglishsituationintheearlynineties，butitwasalldeflected，Isaid，andalltheinterestwasconfusedbythestoryofVictorRadnor\'sfightwithsocietytovindicatethewomanhehadlovedandnevermarried。Nowintheretrospectandwithamindfullofbitterenlightenment，IcandoMeredithjustice，andadmittheconflictwasnotonlyessentialbutcardinalinhispicture，thattheterribleinflexibilityoftherichauntsandthestillmoreterribleclaimofMrs。BurmanRadnor，the\"infernalpunctilio，\"andDudleySowerby\'slimitations，werethecentralsubstanceofthatinalertnessthebooksetitselftoassail。
Somanythingshavebeenbroughttogetherinmymindthatwereonceremotelyseparated。Apeoplethatwillnotvaliantlyfaceandunderstandandadmitloveandpassioncanunderstandnothingwhatever。Butinthosedayswhatisnowjustobvioustruthtomewasaltogetheroutsidemyrangeofcomprehension……
8
AsIseektorecapitulatetheinterlacinggrowthofmyapprehensionoftheworld，asIflounderamongthehalf-remembereddevelopmentsthatfoundmeacrudeschoolboyandleftmeaman，therecomesout，asifitstoodforalltherest，myfirstholidayabroad。ThatdidnothappenuntilIwastwenty-two。IwasafellowofTrinity，andthePeaceofVereeniginghadjustbeensigned。
IwentwithamannamedWillersley，amansomeyearsseniortomyself，whohadjustmissedafellowshipandthehigherdivisionoftheCivilService，andwhohadbecomeanenthusiasticmemberoftheLondonSchoolBoard，uponwhichthecumulativevoteandthesupportofthe\"advanced\"peoplehadplacedhim。Hehad，likemyself，asmallindependentincomethatrelievedhimofanynecessitytoearnaliving，andhehadakindredcravingforsocialtheorisingandsomeformofsocialservice。HehadsoughtmyacquaintanceafterreadingapaperofminebegottenbythevisitofChrisRobinsononthelimitsofpuredemocracy。Ithadmarchedwithsomethoughtsofhisown。
WewentbytraintoSpiezontheLakeofThun，thenuptheGemmi，andthencewithoneortwohaltsanddigressionsandalittlemodestclimbingwecrossedoverbytheAntronapassonwhichwewerebenightedintoItaly，andbywayofDomoD\'ossolaandtheSantaMariaMaggiorevalleytoCannobio，andthenceupthelaketoLocarnowhere，asIshalltell，westayedsomeeventfuldaysandsouptheValMaggiaandovertoAiroloandhome。
AsIwriteofthatlongtrampofours，somethingofitsfreshnessandenlargementreturnstome。Ifeelagainthefaintpleasantexcitementoftheboattrain，thetramplingprocessionofpeoplewithhandbaggageandladenportersalongtheplatformoftheFolkestonepier，thescarcelyperceptibleswayingofthemooredboatbeneathourfeet。Then，veryobviousandsimple，thelittleemotionofstandingoutfromthehomelandandseeingthelongwhiteKentishcliffsrecede。Onewalkedabouttheboatdoingone\'sbestnottofeelabsurdlyadventurous，andpresentlyamovementofpeopledirectedone\'sattentiontoawhitelighthouseonaclifftotheeastofus，comingupsuddenly；andthenoneturnedtoscanthelittledifferentFrenchcoastvillages，andthen，slidingbyinapalesunshinecamealongwoodenpierwithoddlydressedchildrenuponit，andtheclusteringtownofBoulogne。
Onetookitallwiththeoutwardcalmthatbecameayoungmanofnearlythreeandtwenty，butonewasalivetoone\'sfinger-tipswithpleasinglittlestimulations。Thecustomhouseexaminationexcitedone，thestrangenessofababbleinaforeigntongue；onefoundtheFrenchofCityMerchants\'andCambridgeashyandviscousflow，andthenonewasstandinginthetrainasitwentslowlythroughtherail-laidstreettoBoulogneVille，andonelookedoutattheworldinFrench，portersinblouses，workmeninenormouspurpletrousers，policeofficersinpeakedcapsinsteadofhelmetsandromanticallycloaked，bigcarts，allontwowheelsinsteadoffour，greenshutteredcasementsinsteadofsashwindows，andgreatnumbersofneatlydressedwomenineconomicalmourning。
\"Oh！there\'sapriest！\"onesaid，andwasbetrayedintosuchlikeartlesscries。
Itwasarealotherworld，withdifferentgovernmentanddifferentmethods，andinthenightonewasrousedfromuneasyslumbersandsatblinkingandsurly，wrappedupinone\'scouvertureandwithone\'soreillerallawry，toencounteranewsocialphenomenon，theGermanofficial，sodifferentinmannerfromtheBritish；andwhenonewokeagainafterthatonehadcometoBale，andoutonetumbledtogetcoffeeinSwitzerland……
Ihavebeenoverthatroutedozensoftimessince，butitstillrevivesacertainlingeringyouthfulness，acertainsenseofcheerfulreleaseinme。
IrememberthatIandWillersleybecameverysociologicalasweranontoSpiez，andmadeallsortsofgeneralisationsfromthesteeplyslopingfieldsonthehillsides，andfromthepeoplewesawonplatformsandfromlittledifferencesinthewaythingsweredone。
ThecleanprosperityofBaleandSwitzerland，thebigcleanstations，filledmewithpatrioticmisgivings，asIthoughtofthevastdirtinessofLondon，themeandirtinessofCambridgeshire。Itcametomethatperhapsmyschemeofinternationalvalueswasallwrong，thatquitestupendouspossibilitiesandchallengesforusandourempiremightbedevelopinghere——andIrecalledMeredith\'sSkepseyinFrancewithanewunderstanding。
Willersleyhaddressedhimselfinaworld-wornNorfolksuitofgreenishgreytweedsthatendedunfamiliarlyathisratherimpending，spectacled，intellectualvisage。Ididn\'t，Iremember，likethecontrastofhimwiththedrilledSwissandGermansaboutus。Convictcolouredstockingsandvasthobnailbootsfinishedhimbelow，andallhisluggagewasaborrowedrucksacthathehadtiedaskew。Hedidnotwanttoshaveinthetrain，butImadehimatoneoftheSwissstations——IdisliketheseOxfordslovenlinesses——andthenconfoundhim！hecuthimselfandbled……
Nextmorningwewerebreathingathinexhilaratingairthatseemedtohavewashedourveryveinstoanincrediblecleanliness，andeatinghard-boiledeggsinavastclearspaceofrime-edgedrocks，snow-mottled，aboveablue-gashedglacier。Allaboutusthemonstrousrocksurfacesrosetowardstheshiningpeaksabove，andtherewerewindingmorainesfromwhichtheicehadreceded，andthendarkclusteringfirtreesfarbelow。
Ihadanextraordinaryfeelingofhavingcomeoutofthings，ofbeingoutside。
\"Butthisistheroundworld！\"Isaid，withasenseofneverhavingperceiveditbefore；\"thisistheroundworld！\"
9
Thatholidaywasfullofbigcomprehensiveeffects；thefirstviewoftheRhonevalleyandthedistantValaisianAlps，forexample，whichwesawfromtheshoulderofthemountainabovetheGemmi，andtheearlysummerdawnbreakingoverItalyaswemovedfromournight\'scrouchingandmunchedbreadandchocolateandstretchedourstifflimbsamongthetumbledandprecipitousrocksthathungoverLakeCingolo，andsurveyedthewindingtiringrockytrackgoingdownanddowntoAntronapiano。
Andourthoughtswereascomprehensiveasourimpressions。
Willersley\'smindaboundedinhistoricalmatter；hehadaninaccurateabundanthabitoftopographicalreference；hemademeseeandtraceandseeagaintheRomanEmpiresweepupthesewindingvalleys，andthecomingofthefirstgreatPeaceamongthewarringtribesofmen……
Intheretrospecteachofusseemstohavebeentalkingaboutouroutlookalmostcontinually。Eachofus，yousee，wasfullofthesamequestion，verynearandaltogetherpredominanttous，thequestion：\"WhatamIgoingtodowithmylife？\"HesawitalmostasimportantlyasI，butfromadifferentangle，becausehischoicewaslargelymadeandminestillhunginthebalance。
\"Ifeelwemightdosomanythings，\"Isaid，\"andeverythingthatcallsone，callsoneawayfromsomethingelse。\"
Willersleyagreedwithoutanymodestdisavowals。
\"Wehavegottothinkout，\"hesaid，\"justwhatweareandwhatweareupto。We\'vegottodothatnow。Andthen——it\'soneofthosequestionsitisinadvisabletoreopensubsequently。\"
Hebeamedatmethroughhisglasses。Thesententioususeoflongwordswasaplayfulhabitwithhim，thatandaslightdeliberatehumour，habitsoccasionalExtensionLecturingwasdoingverymuchtointensify。
\"You\'vemadeyourdecision？\"
Henoddedwithapeculiarforwardmovementofhishead。
\"Howwouldyouputit？\"
\"SocialService——education。Whateverelsemattersordoesn\'tmatter，itseemstomethereisonethingweMUSThaveandincrease，andthatisthenumberofpeoplewhocanthinkalittle——andhave\"——
hebeamedagain——\"anadequatesenseofcausation。\"
\"You\'resureit\'sworthwhile。\"
\"Forme——certainly。Idon\'tdiscussthatanymore。\"
\"Idon\'tlimitmyselftoonarrowly，\"headded。\"Afterall，theworkisallone。Wewhoknow，wewhofeel，arebuildingthegreatmodernstate，joiningwalltowallandwaytoway，thenewgreatEnglandrisingoutofthedecayingold……wearetherealstatesmen——I
likethatuseof\'statesmen。\'……\"
\"Yes，\"Isaidwithmanydoubts。\"Yes，ofcourse……\"
Willersleyismiddle-agednow，withsilverinhishairandadeepeningbenevolenceinhisalwaysamiableface，andhehasveryfairlykepthisword。Hehaslivedforsocialserviceandtodovastmassesofuseful，undistinguished，fertilisingwork。Thinkofthedaysofaridadministrativeploddingandofcontentionstillmorearidandunrewarded，thathemusthavespent！Hislittleaffectationsofgestureandmanner，imitativeaffectationsforthemostpart，haveincreased，andthehumorousbeamandthehumorousintonationshavebecomeathingheputsoneverymorninglikeanoldcoat。Hisdevotionismingledwithaconsiderablewhimsicality，andtheysayheiseasilyflatteredbysubordinatesandeasilyoffendedintooppositionbycolleagues；hehasmademistakesattimesandfollowedwrongcourses，stillthereheis，aflatcontradictiontoalltheordinarydoctrineofmotives，amanwhohasforegoneanychancesofwealthandprofit，foregoneanyeasierpathstodistinction，foregonemarriageandparentage，inordertoservethecommunity。Hedoesitwithoutanyfeeorrewardexcepthispersonalself-satisfactionindoingthiswork，andhedoesitwithoutanyhopeoffuturejoysandpunishments，forheisanimplacableRationalist。Nodoubtheidealiseshimselfalittle，anddreamsofrecognition。Nodoubthegetshispleasurefromasenseofpower，fromthespendingandhusbandingoflargesumsofpublicmoney，andfromtheinevitableproprietorshiphemustfeelinthefair，fine，well-orderedschoolshehasdonesomuchtodevelop。\"Butforme，\"
hecansay，\"therewouldhavebeenaJobaboutthosediagrams，andthatsubjectorthiswouldhavebeenlessablytaught。\"……
Thefactremainsthatforhimtherewardshavebeenadequate，ifnottocontentatanyratetokeephimworking。Ofcoursehecovetsthenoticeoftheworldhehasserved，asalovercovetsthenoticeofhismistress。Ofcoursehethinkssomewhere，somewhen，hewillgetcredit。OnlylastyearIheardsomementalkingofhim，andtheywerenoting，withlittlemeansmiles，howhehadshownhimselfself-
consciouswhiletherewastalkofsomehonorarydegree-givingorother；itwould，Ihavenodoubt，pleasehimgreatlyifhisworkweretoflowerintoacrimsongowninsomeAcademicparterre。Whyshouldn\'tit？Butthatisincidentalvanityattheworst；hegoesonanyhow。Mostmendon\'t。
Butwehadourwalktwentyyearsandmoreagonow。Hewasoldisheventhenasayoungman，justasheisoldishstillinmiddleage。
Longmayhisindustriouselderlinessflourishforthegoodoftheworld！Helecturedalittleinconversationthen；helecturesmorenowandlistensless，toilsomelydisentanglingwhatyoualreadyunderstand，givingyouindetailthedatayouknow；thesearethingslikecallositiesthatcomefromaman\'swork。
Ourlongthreeweeks\'talkcomesbacktomeasamemoryofideasanddeterminationsslowlygrowing，allmixedupwithasmellofwoodsmokeandpinewoodsandhugeprecipicesandremotegleamsofsnow-
fieldsandthesoundofcascadingtorrentsrushingthroughdeepgorgesfarbelow。Itismixed，too，withgossipswithwaitressesandfellowtravellers，withmyfirstessaysincolloquialGermanandItalian，withdisputesaboutthewaytotake，andotherthingsthatIwilltellofinanothersection。Butthewhitepassionofhumanservicewasourdominanttheme。Notsimplyperhapsnoraltogetherunselfishly，butquitehonestly，andwithatleastafrequentself-
forgetfulness，didwewanttodofineandnoblethings，tohelpintheirdeveloping，tolessenmisery，tobroadenandexaltlife。Itisveryhard——perhapsitisimpossible——topresentinapageortwothesubstanceandqualityofnearlyamonth\'sconversation，conversationthatiscasualanddiscursiveinform，thatrangescarelesslyfromtrivialitytoimmensity，andyetisconstantlyresumingaconstructiveprocess，asworkmenonawallloiterandjestandgoandcomeback，andallthewhilebuild。
Wegotitmoreandmoredefinitethatthecoreofourpurposebeneathallitsvariedaspectsmustneedsbeorderanddiscipline。
\"Muddle，\"saidI，\"istheenemy。\"Thatremainsmybelieftothisday。Clearnessandorder，lightandforesight，thesethingsIknowforGood。Itwasmuddlehadjustgivenusallthestillfreshlypainfuldisastersandhumiliationsofthewar，muddlethatgivesusthevisiblysprawlingdisorderofourcitiesandindustrialcountry-
side，muddlethatgivesusthewasteoflife，thelimitations，wretchednessandunemploymentofthepoor。Muddle！IremembermyselfquotingKipling——
\"Allalongo\'dirtiness，allalongo\'mess，Allalongo\'doin\'thingsrather-more-or-less。\"
\"Webuildthestate，\"wesaidoverandoveragain。\"Thatiswhatwearefor——servantsofthenewreorganisation！\"
WeplannedhalfinearnestandhalfUtopianising，aLeagueofSocialService。
Wetalkedofthesplendidworldofmenthatmightgrowoutofsuchunpaidandill-paidworkasweweresettingourfacestodo。Wespokeoftheintricatedifficulties，themonstrouspassiveresistances，thehostilitiestosuchadevelopmentasweconceivedourworksubserved，andwespokewiththatunderlyingconfidenceintheinvincibilityofthecausesweadoptedthatisnaturaltoyoungandscarcelytriedmen。
Wetalkedmuchofthedetailedlifeofpoliticssofarasitwasknowntous，andthereWillersleywasmoreexperiencedandfarbetterinformedthanI；wediscussedpossiblecombinationsandpossibledevelopments，andthechancesofsomegreatconstructivemovementcomingfromtheheart-searchingstheBoerwarhadoccasioned。Wewouldsinktogossip——evenattheSuetoniuslevel。
WillersleywoulddeclinetowardsilluminatinganecdotesthatI
cappedmoreorlesslooselyfrommyprivatereading。Wewereparticularlywise，Iremember，uponthemanagementofnewspapers，becauseaboutthatweknewnothingwhatever。Weperceivedthatgreatthingsweretobedonethroughnewspapers。Wetalkedofswayingopinionandmovinggreatclassestomassiveaction。
Menareegotisticalevenindevotion。Alloursplendidprojectswerethicksetwiththefirstpersonalpronoun。Webothcouldwrite，andallthatwesaidingeneraltermswasreflectedintheparticularinourminds；itwasourselveswesaw，andnoothers，writingandspeakingthatmovingword。Wehadalreadyproducedmanuscriptandpassedtheinitiationsofproofreading；IhadbeenafrequentspeakerintheUnion，andWillersleywasanactivemanontheSchoolBoard。Ourfeetwerealreadyonthelowerrungsthatledupandup。Hewassixandtwenty，andItwenty-two。Weintimatedourindividualcareersintermsofboldexpectation。Ihadpropheticglimpsesofwallsandhoardingsclamorouswith\"VoteforRemington，\"andWillersleynodoubtsawhimselfchairmanofthiscommitteeandthat，sayingafewslightlyironicalwordsafterthedeclarationofthepoll，andthensittingfriendlybesidemeonthegovernmentbenches。Therewasnothingimpossibleinsuchdreams。
WhynottheBoardofEducationforhim？MypreferenceatthattimewaveredbetweentheLocalGovernmentBoard——Ihadgreatideasabouttown-planning，aboutrevisionsofmunicipalareasandre-organisedinternaltransit——andtheWarOffice。Iswayedstronglytowardsthelatterasthejourneyprogressed。Myeducationalbiascamelater。
TheswellingambitionsthathavetrampedoverAlpinepasses！Howmanyofthem，likemine，havecomealmostwithinsightofrealisationbeforetheyfailed？
Thereweretimeswhenweposedlikeyounggodsofunassumingexterior，andtimeswhenwewerefulloftheabsurdestlittlesolicitudesaboutourprospects。Thereweretimeswhenonesurveyedthewholeworldofmenasifitwasalittlethingatone\'sfeet，andbywayofcontrastIrememberoncelyinginbed——itmusthavebeenduringthisholiday，thoughIcannotforthelifeofmefixwhere——andspeculatingwhetherperhapssomedayImightnotbeaK。C。B。，SirRichardRemington，K。C。B。，M。P。
Butthebigstyleprevailed……
Wecouldnottellfromminutetominutewhetherwewereplanningforaworldofsolidreality，ortellingourselvesfairytalesaboutthisprospectoflife。Somuchseemedpossible，andeverythingwecouldthinkofsoimprobable。TherewerelapseswhenitseemedtomeIcouldneverbeanythingbutjusttheentirelyunimportantandundistinguishedyoungmanIwasforeverandever。Icouldn\'teventhinkofmyselfasfiveandthirty。
OnceIrememberWillersleygoingoveralistoffailures，andwhytheyhadfailed——butyoungmeninthetwentiesdonotknowmuchaboutfailures。
10
WillersleyandIprofessedourselvesSocialists，butbythistimeI
knewmyRodbertusaswellasmyMarx，andtherewasmuchinoursocialismthatwouldhaveshockedChrisRobinsonasmuchasanythinginlifecouldhaveshockedhim。Socialismasasimpledemocraticcrywehaddonewithforever。WeweresocialistsbecauseIndividualismforusmeantmuddle，meantacrowdofseparated，undisciplinedlittlepeopleallobstinatelyandignorantlydoingthingsjarringly，eachoneinhisownway。\"Each，\"Isaidquotingwordsofmyfather\'sthatroseaptinmymemory，\"snarlingfromhisownlittlebitofproperty，likeadogtiedtoacart\'stail。\"
\"Essentially，\"saidWillersley，\"essentiallywe\'reforconscription，inpeaceandwaralike。Themanwhoownspropertyisapublicofficialandhastobehaveassuch。That\'sthegistofsocialismasIunderstandit。\"
\"Orbedismissedfromhispost，\"Isaid，\"andreplacedbysomebettersortofofficial。Aman\'snonethelessanofficialbecausehe\'sirresponsible。Whathedoeswithhispropertyaffectspeoplejustthesame。Private！Nooneisreallyprivatebutanoutlaw……
Orderanddevotionweretheveryessenceofoursocialism，andasplendidcollectivevigourandhappinessitsend。Weprojectedanidealstate，anorganisedstateasconfidentandpowerfulasmodernscience，asbalancedandbeautifulasabody，asbeneficentassunshine，theorganisedstatethatshouldendmuddleforever；itruledallouridealsandgaveformtoallourambitions。
Everymanwastobedefinitelyrelatedtothat，tohavehispredominantdutytothat。SuchwastheEnglandrenewedwehadinmind，andhowtoservethatend，tosubdueundisciplinedworkerandundisciplinedwealthtoit，andmaketheScientificCommonweal，King，wasthecontinuingsubstanceofourintercourse。
11
Everydaythewineofthemountainswasstrongerinourblood，andtheflushofouryouthdeeper。WewouldgointhemorningsunlightalongsomenarrowAlpinemule-pathshoutinglargesuggestionsfornationalre-organisation，andweighingconsiderationsaslightlyasthoughtheworldwaswaxinourhands。\"GreatEngland，\"wesaidineffect，overandoveragain，\"andwewillbeamongthemakers！
Englandrenewed！Thecountryhasbeenwarned；ithaslearntitslesson。Thedisastersandanxietiesofthewarhavesunkin。
Englandhasbecomeserious……Oh！therearebigthingsbeforeustodo；bigenduringthings！\"
Oneeveningwewalkeduptotheloggiaofalittlepilgrimagechurch，Iforgetitsname，thatstandsoutonaconicalhillattheheadofawindingstairabovethetownofLocarno。Downbelowthehousesclusteredamidstaconfusionofheat-bittengreenery。Ihadbeensittingsilentlyontheparapet，lookingacrosstothepurplemountainmasseswhereSwitzerlandpassesintoItaly，andthedriftofourtalkseemedsuddenlytogathertoahead。
Ibrokeintospeech，givingformtothethoughtsthathadbeenaccumulating。Mywordshavelongsincepassedoutofmymemory，thephrasesoffamiliarexpressionhavealteredforme，butthesubstanceremainsasclearasever。Isaidhowwewereinourmeasureemperorsandkings，menundriven，freetodoaswepleasedwithlife；weclassedamongthehappyones，ourbreadandcommonnecessitiesweregivenusfornothing，wehadabilities，——itwasn\'tmodestybutcowardicetobehaveasifwehadn\'t——andFortunewatchedustoseewhatwemightdowithopportunityandtheworld。
\"Therearesomanythingstodo，yousee，\"beganWillersley，inhisjudiciallecturer\'svoice。
\"Somanythingswemaydo，\"Iinterrupted，\"withalltheseyearsbeforeus……We\'reexceptionalmen。It\'sourplace，ourduty，todothings。\"
\"Hereanyhow，\"Isaid，answeringthefaintamusementofhisface；
\"I\'vegotnomodesty。Everythingconspirestosetmeup。WhyshouldIrunaboutlikeallthosegrubbylittlebeastsdownthere，seekingnothingbutmeanlittlevanitiesandindulgencies——andthentakecreditformodesty？IKNOWIamcapable。IKNOWIhaveimagination。Modesty！IknowifIdon\'tattempttheverybiggestthingsinlifeIamadamnedshirk。Theverybiggest！Somebodyhastoattemptthem。Ifeellikealoadedgunthatisonlyalittleperplexedbecauseithastofindoutjustwheretoaimitself……\"
Thelakeandthefrontiervillages，awhitepuffofsteamonthedistantrailwaytoLuino，thebusyboatsandsteamerstrailingtriangularwakesoffoam，thelongvistaeastwardtowardsbattlementedBellinzona，thevastmountaindistances，nowtingedwithsunsetlight，behindthisnearerlandscape，andthesouthwardwaterswithremotecoasttownsshiningdimly，watersthatmergedatlastinaluminousgoldenhaze，madeabroadpanoramicspectacle。
Itwasasifonesurveyedtheworld，——anditwaslikethegamesI
usedtosetoutuponmynurseryfloor。Iwasexaltedbyit；Ifeltlargerthanmen。Sokingsshouldfeel。
Thatsenseoflargnesscametomethen，andithascometomesince，againandagain，asplendidintimationorasplendidvanity。Once，Iremember，whenIlookedatGenoafromthemountaincrestbehindthetownandsawthatmultitudinousplaceinallitsbeautyofwidthandabundanceandclusteringhumaneffort，andonceasIwassteamingpastthebrownlowhillsofStatenIslandtowardsthetoweringvigourandclamorousvitalityofNewYorkCity，thatmoodrosetoitsquintessence。Andonceitcametome，asIshalltell，onDovercliffs。AndahundredtimeswhenIhavethoughtofEnglandasourcountrymightbe，withnowretchedpoor，nowretchedrich，anationarmedandordered，trainedandpurposefulamidstitsvalesandrivers，thatemotionofcollectiveendsandcollectivepurposeshasreturnedtome。Ifeltasgreatashumanity。ForabriefmomentIwashumanity，lookingattheworldIhadmadeandhadstilltomake……
12
Andmingledwiththesedreamsofpowerandpatrioticservicetherewasanotherseriesofadifferentqualityandadifferentcolour，liketheantagonisticcolourofashotsilk。Thewhitelifeandtheredlife，contrastedandinterchanged，passingswiftlyataturnfromonetoanother，andrefusingevertominglepeacefullyonewiththeother。Iwasaskingmyselfopenlyanddistinctly：whatareyougoingtodofortheworld？Whatareyougoingtodowithyourself？
andwithanincreasingstrengthandpersistenceNatureinspiteofmyavertedattentionwasaskingmeinpenetratingundertones：whatareyougoingtodoaboutthisotherfundamentalmatter，thebeautyofgirlsandwomenandyourdesireforthem？
Ihavetoldofmysisterlessyouthandthenarrowcircumstancesofmyupbringing。Itmadeallwomen-kindmysterioustome。IfithadnotbeenformyStaffordshirecousinsIdonotthinkIshouldhaveknownanygirlsatalluntilIwastwenty。OfStaffordshireIwilltellalittlelater。ButIcanrememberstillhowthroughallthoseripeningyears，thethoughtofwomen\'sbeauty，theirmagicpresenceintheworldbesidemeandtheunknown，untriedreactionsoftheirintercourse，grewuponmeandgrew，asastrangepresencegrowsinaroomwhenoneisoccupiedbyotherthings。Ibusiedmyselfandpretendedtobewhollyoccupied，andtherethewomanstood，fullhalfoflifeneglected，anditseemedtomyavertedmindsometimesthatshewastherecladanddignifiedanddivine，andsometimesAphroditeshiningandcommanding，andsometimesthatVenuswhostoopsandallures。
Thistravelabroadseemedtohavereleasedamultitudeofthingsinmymind；theclearair，thebeautyofthesunshine，theveryblueoftheglaciersmademefeelmybodyandquickenedallthosedisregardeddreams。Isawthesheathedbeautyofwomen\'sformsallaboutme，inthecheerfulwaitressesattheinns，inthepedestriansoneencounteredinthetracks，inthechancefellowtravellersatthehoteltables。\"Confoundit！\"saidI，andtalkedallthemorezealouslyofthatgreaterEnglandthatwascallingus。
IrememberthatwepassedtwoGermans，anoldmanandatallfairgirl，fatheranddaughter，whowerewalkingdownfromSaas。Shecameswingingandshiningtowardsus，easyandstrong。Iworshippedherassheapproached。
\"GutTag！\"saidWillersley，removinghishat。
\"Morgen！\"saidtheoldman，saluting。
Istaredstockishlyatthegirl，whopassedwithanindifferentface。
Thatsticksinmymindasapictureremainsinaroom，ithaskepttherebrightandfreshasathingseenyesterday，fortwentyyears……
Iflirtedhesitatinglyonceortwicewithcomelyservinggirls，andwasalittleashamedlestWillersleyshoulddetectthekeeninterestItookinthem，andthenaswecameoverthepassfromSantaMariaMaggioretoCannobio，mysecretpreoccupationtookmebysurpriseandfloodedmeandbrokedownmypretences。
Thewomeninthatvalleyareverybeautiful——womenvaryfromvalleytovalleyintheAlpsandareplainandsquathereanddivinitiesfivemilesaway——andaswecamedownwepassedagroupoffiveorsixofthemrestingbythewayside。Theirburthenswerebesidethem，andonelikeCeresheldareapinghookinherbrownhand。Shewatchedusapproachingandsmiledfaintly，hereyesatmine。
Therewassomegreeting，andtwoofthemlaughedtogether。
Wepassed。
\"Gloriousgirlstheywere，\"saidWillersley，andsuddenlyanimmensesenseofboredomenvelopedme。Isawmyselfstridingondownthatwindingroad，talkingofpoliticsandpartiesandbillsofparliamentandallsortsofdessicatedthings。Thatroadseemedtometowindonforeverdowntodustandinfinitedreariness。Iknewitforawayofdeath。Realitywasbehindus。
Willersleysethimselftodrawasociologicalmoral。\"I\'mnotsosure，\"hesaidinavoiceofintensediscriminations，\"afterall，thatagriculturalworkisn\'tgoodforwomen。\"
\"Damnagriculturalwork！\"Isaid，andbrokeoutintoavigorouscursingofallIhelddear。\"Fetteredthingsweare！\"Icried。\"I
wonderwhyIstandit！\"
\"Standwhat？\"
\"Whydon\'tIgobackandmakelovetothosegirlsandlettheworldandyouandeverythinggohang？Deepbreastsandroundedlimbs——andwepooremasculateddevilsgotrampingbywiththebloodofyouthinus！……\"
\"I\'mnotquitesure，Remington，\"saidWillersley，lookingatmewithadeliberatelyquaintexpressionoverhisglasses，\"thatpicturesquesceneryisaltogethergoodforyourmorals。\"
ThatfeverwasstillinmybloodwhenwecametoLocarno。
13
AlongthehotanddustylowerroadbetweentheOrridoofTraffiumeandCannobioWillersleyhaddevelopedhisfirstblister。Andpartlybecauseofthatandpartlybecausetherewasabagatthestationthatgaveustherefreshmentofcleanlinenandpartlybecauseofthelazylowerairintowhichwehadcome，wedecideduponthreeorfourdays\'sojournintheEmpressHotel。
Wedinedthatnightatatable-d\'hote，andIfoundmyselfnexttoanEnglishwomanwhobeganaconversationthatwasresumedpresentlyinthehotellounge。Shewasawomanofperhapsthirty-threeorthirty-four，slenderlybuilt，withawarmreddishskinandveryabundantfairgoldenhair，thewifeofapetulant-lookingheavy-
facedmanofperhapsfifty-three，whosmokedacigaranddozedoverhiscoffeeandpresentlywenttobed。\"Healwaysgoestobedlikethat，\"sheconfidedstartlingly。\"Hesleepsafterallhismeals。I
neverknewsuchamantosleep。\"
Thenshereturnedtoourtalk，whateveritwas。
Wehadbegunatthedinnertablewithitinerariesandtheusualtopographicaltalk，andshehadenviedourpedestriantravel。\"Myhusbanddoesn\'twalk，\"shesaid。\"Hisheartisweakandhecannotmanagethehills。\"
Therewassomethingfriendlyandadventurousinhermanner；sheconveyedshelikedme，andwhenpresentlyWillersleydriftedofftowritelettersourtalksankatoncetoeasyconfidentialundertones。
Ifeltenterprising，andindeeditiseasytobedaringwithpeopleonehasneverseenbeforeandmayneverseeagain。IsaidIlovedbeautifulsceneryandallbeautifulthings，andthepointingnoteinmyvoicemadeherlaugh。ShetoldmeIhadboldeyes，andsofarasIcanrememberIsaidshemadethembold。\"Bluetheyare，\"sheremarked，smilingarchly。\"Ilikeblueeyes。\"ThenIthinkwecomparedages，andshesaidshewastheWomanofThirty，\"GeorgeMoore\'sWomanofThirty。\"
IhadnotreadGeorgeMooreatthetime，butIpretendedtounderstand。
That，Ithink，wasourlimitthatevening。Shewenttobed，smilinggood-nightquiteprettilydownthebigstaircase，andIandWillersleywentouttosmokeinthegarden。Myheadwasfullofher，andIfounditnecessarytotalkabouther。SoImadeheraprobleminsociology。\"Whothedeucearethesepeople？\"Isaid，andhowdotheygetaliving？Theyseemtohaveplentyofmoney。Hestrikesmeasbeing——Willersley，whatisadrysalter？Ithinkhe\'saretireddrysalter。\"
WillersleytheorisedwhileIthoughtofthewomanandthatprovocativequalityofdashshehaddisplayed。ThenextdayatlunchsheandImetlikeoldfriends。Ahugemassofprivatethinkingduringtheintervalhadbeenaddedtooureffectupononeanother。Wetalkedforatimeofinsignificantthings。
\"Whatdoyoudo，\"sheaskedratherquickly，\"afterlunch？Takeasiesta？\"
\"Sometimes，\"Isaid，andhungforamomenteyetoeye。
Wehadn\'tadoubtofeachother，butmyheartwasbeatinglikeasteamerpropellerwhenitliftsoutofthewater。
\"Doyougetaviewfromyourroom？\"sheaskedafterapause。
\"It\'sonthethirdfloor，Numberseventeen，nearthestaircase。Myfriend\'snextdoor。\"
Shebegantotalkofbooks。ShewasinterestedinChristianScience，shesaid，andspokeofabook。Iforgetaltogetherwhatthatbookwascalled，thoughIremembertothisdaywiththeutmostexactnessthepurplishmagentaofitscover。Shesaidshewouldlendittomeandhesitated。
Wlllersleywantedtogoforanexpeditionacrossthelakethatafternoon，butIrefused。HemadesomeotherproposalsthatI
rejectedabruptly。\"Ishallwriteinmyroom，\"Isaid。
\"Whynotwritedownhere？\"
\"Ishallwriteinmyroom，\"Isnarledlikeathwartedanimal，andhelookedatmecuriously。\"Verywell，\"hesaid；\"thenI\'llmakesomenotesandthinkaboutthatorderofoursoutunderthemagnolias。\"
Ihoveredabouttheloungeforatimebuyingpostcardsandfeverishlyrestless，watchingthemovementsoftheotherpeople。
FinallyIwentuptomyroomandsatdownbythewindows，staringout。Therecamealittletapattheunlockeddoorandinaninstant，likethegoofatautbowstring，Iwasupandhaditopen。
\"Hereisthatbook，\"shesaid，andwehesitated。
\"COMEIN！\"Iwhispered，tremblingfromheadtofoot。
\"You\'rejustaboy，\"shesaidinalowtone。
Ididnotfeelabitlikealover，Ifeltlikeaburglarwiththesafe-doornearlyopened。\"Comein，\"Isaidalmostimpatiently，foranyonemightbeinthepassage，andIgrippedherwristanddrewhertowardsme。
\"Whatdoyoumean？\"sheansweredwithafaintsmileonherlips，andawkwardandyielding。
Ishutthedoorbehindher，stillholdingherwithonehand，thenturneduponher——shewaslaughingnervously——andwithoutaworddrewhertomeandkissedher。AndIrememberthatasIkissedhershemadealittlenoisealmostlikethepurringmiaowwithwhichacatwillgreetoneandherface，closetomine，becamesolemnandtender。
Shewassuddenlyadifferentbeingfromthediscontentedwifewhohadtappedamomentsinceonmydoor，awomantransfigured……
ThateveningIcamedowntodinneramonsterofpride，forbehold！I
wasaman。Ifeltmyselfthemostwonderfulandunprecedentedofadventurers。Itwashardtobelievethatanyoneintheworldbeforehaddoneasmuch。MymistressandImetsmiling，wecarriedthingsoffadmirably，anditseemedtomethatWillersleywasthedullestolddogintheworld。Iwantedtogivehimadvice。I
wantedtogivehimderisivepokes。AfterdinnerandcoffeeintheloungeIwastooexcitedandhilarioustogotobed，Imadehimcomewithmedowntothecafeunderthearchesbythepier，andtheredrankbeerandtalkedextravagantnonsenseabouteverythingunderthesun，inordernottotalkaboutthehappeningsoftheafternoon。
Allthetimesomethingshoutedwithinme：\"Iamaman！Iamaman！\"……
\"Whatshallwedoto-morrow？\"saidhe。
\"I\'mforloafing，\"Isaid。\"Let\'srowinthemorningandspendto-
morrowafternoonjustaswedidto-day。\"
\"Theysaythechurchbehindthetownisworthseeing。\"
\"We\'llgoupaboutsunset；that\'sthebesttimeforit。Wecanstartaboutfive。\"
Weheardmusic，andwentfurtheralongthearcadetodiscoveraplacewheregirlsinoperaticSwisspeasantcostumeweresinginganddancingonacreaking，protestinglittlestage。Ieyedtheirgenerousdisplayofpinkneckandarmwiththeseasonedeyeofamanwhohaslivedintheworld。Lifewasperfectlysimpleandeasy，I
felt，ifonetookittherightway。
NextdayWillersleywantedtogoon，butIdelayed。AltogetherI
kepthimbackfourdays。Thenabruptlymymoodchanged，andwedecidedtostartearlythefollowingmorning。Iremember，thoughalittleindistinctly，thefeelingofmylasttalkwiththatwomanwhosesurname，oddasitmayseem，eitherIneverlearntorIhaveforgotten。HerchristiannamewasMilly。Shewastiredandratherlow-spirited，anddisposedtobesentimental，andforthefirsttimeinourintercourseIfoundmyselflikingherforthesakeofherownpersonality。Therewassomethingkindlyandgenerousappearingbehindtheveilofnaiveanduncontrolledsensualityshehadworn。Therewasacuriousqualityofmotherlinessinherattitudetomethatsomethinginmynatureansweredandapproved。
Shedidn\'tpretendtokeepitupthatshehadyieldedtomyinitiative。\"I\'vedoneyounoharm，\"shesaidalittledoubtfully，anoddnoteforaman\'svictim！And，\"we\'vehadagoodtime。Youhavelikedme，haven\'tyou？\"
Sheinterestedmeinherlonelydissatisfiedlife；shewaschildlessandhadnohopeofchildren，andherhusbandwastheonlysonofarichmeatsalesman，verymean，amightysmoker——\"hereeksofit，\"
shesaid，\"always\"——andinterestedinnothingbutgolf，billiardswhichheplayedverybadly，pigeonshooting，convivialFreeMasonryandStockExchangepunting。MostlytheydriftedabouttheRiviera。Hermotherhadcontrivedhermarriagewhenshewaseighteen。TheywerethefirstsamplesIeverencounteredofthegreatmultitudeoffunctionlesspropertyownerswhichencumbersmoderncivilisation——butatthetimeIdidn\'tthinkmuchofthataspectofthem……
Itellallthisbusinessasithappenedwithoutcomment，becauseI
havenocommenttomake。Itwasallstrangetome，strangeratherthanwonderful，and，itmaybe，somedreamofbeautydiedforeverinthosefurtivemeetings；ithappenedtome，andIcouldscarcelyhavebeenmoreirresponsibleinthematterorcontrolledeventslessifIhadbeensuddenlypushedoveracliffintowater。Iswam，ofcourse——findingmyselfinit。Thingstestedme，andIreacted，asI
havetold。Thebloomofmyinnocence，ifevertherehadbeensuchathing，wasgone。Andhereistheremarkablethingaboutit；atthetimeandforsomedaysIwasover-weeninglyproud；Ihaveneverbeensoproudbeforeorsince；IfeltIhadbeenpromotedtovirility；I
wasunabletoconcealmyexultationfromWillersley。Itwasamoodofshiningshamelessungraciousself-approval。AsheandIwentalonginthecoolmorningsunshinebythericefieldsinthethroatoftheValMaggiaasilencefellbetweenus。
\"Youknow？\"Isaidabruptly，——\"aboutthatwoman？\"
Willersleydidnotanswerforamoment。Helookedatmeoverthecornerofhisspectacles。
\"Thingswentprettyfar？\"heasked。
\"Oh！alltheway！\"andIhadatwingeoffatuousprideinmyunpremeditatedachievement。
\"Shecametoyourroom？\"
Inodded。
\"Iheardher。Iheardherwhispering……Thewhisperingandrustlingandsoon。Iwasinmyroomyesterday……Anyonemighthaveheardyou。\"
Iwentonwithmyheadintheair。
\"Youmighthavebeencaught，andthatwouldhavemeantendlesstrouble。Youmighthaveincurredallsortsofconsequences。Whatdidyouknowabouther？……Wehavewastedfourdaysinthathotcloseplace。WhenwefoundthatLeagueofSocialServiceweweretalkingabout，\"hesaidwithadeterminedeyeuponme，\"chastitywillbefirstamongthevirtuesprescribed。\"
\"Ishallformarivalleague，\"Isaidalittledamped。\"I\'mhangedifIgiveupasingledesireinmeuntilIknowwhy。\"
Heliftedhischinandstaredbeforehimthroughhisglassesatnothing。\"Therearesomethings，\"hesaid，\"thatamanwhomeanstowork——todogreatpublicservices——MUSTturnhisbackupon。I\'mnotdiscussingtherightsorwrongsofthissortofthing。Ithappenstobetheconditionsweworkunder。Itwillprobablyalwaysbeso。
Ifyouwanttoexperimentinthatway，ifyouwanteventodiscussit，——outyougofrompoliticallife。Youmustknowthat\'sso……
You\'reastrangeman，Remington，withakindofkinkinyou。You\'veasortofforce。Youmighthappentodoimmensethings……
Only——\"
Hestopped。Hehadsaidallthathehadforcedhimselftosay。
\"ImeantotakemyselfasIam，\"Isaid。\"I\'mgoingtogetexperienceforhumanityoutofallmytalents——andburynothing。\"
Willersleytwistedhisfacetoitshumorousexpression。\"Idoubtifsexualproclivities，\"hesaiddrily，comewithinthescopeoftheparable。\"
Iletthatgoforalittlewhile。ThenIbrokeout。\"Sex！\"saidI，\"isafundamentalthinginlife。WewentthroughallthisatTrinity。I\'mgoingtolookatit，experienceit，thinkaboutit——
andgetitsquarewiththerestoflife。CareerandPoliticsmusttaketheirchancesofthat。It\'spartofthegeneralEnglishslacknessthattheywon\'tlookthisintheface。Gods！whatamuffledtimewe\'recomingoutof！Sexmeansbreeding，andbreedingisanecessaryfunctioninanation。TheRomansbrokeupuponthat。
TheAmericansfadeoutamidsttheirsuccesses。Eugenics——\"
\"THATwasn\'tEugenics，\"saidWillersley。
\"Itwasawoman，\"Isaidafteralittleinterval，feelingoddlythatIhadfailedaltogethertoanswerhim，andyethadastrongdumbcaseagainsthim。
BOOKTHESECOND
MARGARET
CHAPTERTHEFIRST
MARGARETINSTAFFORDSHIRE
1
Imustgobackalittlewaywithmystory。InthepreviousbookI
havedescribedthekindofeducationthathappenstoamanofmyclassnowadays，andithasbeenconvenienttoleapaphaseinmyexperiencethatImustnowsetoutatlength。IwanttotellinthissecondhookhowIcametomarry，andtodothatImustgivesomethingoftheatmosphereinwhichIfirstmetmywifeandsomeintimationsoftheforcesthatwenttohermaking。ImetherinStaffordshirewhileIwasstayingwiththatuncleofwhomIhavealreadyspoken，theunclewhosoldmyfather\'shousesandsettledmymotherinPenge。MargaretwastwentythenandIwastwenty-two。
ItwasjustbeforethewalkingtourinSwitzerlandthatopenedupsomuchoftheworldtome。Isawheronce，foranafternoon，andcircumstancessothrewherupinreliefthatIformedaveryvividmemoryofher。Shewasinthesharpestcontrastwiththeindustrialworldabouther；sheimpressedmeasadaintyblueflowermightdo，comeuponsuddenlyonaclinkerheap。Sheremainedinmymindatonceaperplexinginterrogationandasymbol……
ButfirstImusttellofmyStaffordshirecousinsandtheworldthatservedasafoilforher。
2
IfirstwenttostaywithmycousinswhenIwasanawkwardyouthofsixteen，wearingdeepmourningformymother。Myunclewantedtotalkthingsoverwithme，hesaid，andifhecould，topersuademetogointobusinessinsteadofgoinguptoCambridge。
Irememberthatvisitonaccountofallsortsofnovelthings，butchiefly，Ithink，becauseitwasthefirsttimeIencounteredanythingthatdeservestobespokenofaswealth。ForthefirsttimeinmylifeIhadtodowithpeoplewhoseemedtohaveendlesssuppliesofmoney，unlimitedgoodclothes，numerousservants；whosedailylifewasmadeupofthingsthatIhadhithertoconsideredtobetreatsorexceptionalextravagances。Mycousinsofeighteenandnineteentookcabs，forinstance，withtheutmostfreedom，andtravelledfirst-classinthelocaltrainsthatrunupanddownthedistrictoftheFiveTownswithanentireunconsciousnessofthemagnificence，asitseemedtome，ofsuchaproceeding。
ThefamilyoccupiedalargevillainNewcastle，withbiglawnsbeforeitandbehind，ashrubberywithquitealotofshrubs，acoachhouseandstable，andsubordinatedwelling-placesforthegardenerandthecoachman。Everybedroomcontainedagasheaterandacanopiedbrassbedstead，andhadalittlebathroomattachedequippedwiththeporcelainbathsandfittingsmyunclemanufactured，brightandsanitaryandstampedwithhisname，andthehousewasfurnishedthroughoutwithchairsandtablesinbrightshiningwood，softandprevalentlyredTurkishcarpets，cosycorners，curtainedarchways，gold-framedlandscapes，overmantels，adining-roomsideboardlikeapalacewithalargeTantalus，andelectriclightfittingsofagayandexpensivequality。Therewasafinebilliard-roomonthegroundfloorwiththreecomfortablesofasandarotatingbookcasecontaininganexcellentcollectionoftheEnglishandAmericanhumoristsfromTHREEMENINABOATtothepenultimateMarkTwain。Therewasalsoaconservatoryopeningoutofthedining-room，towhichthegardenerbroughtpottedflowersintheirseason……
Myauntwasalittlewomanwithascaredlookandacapthatwouldgetoveroneeye，notverylikemymother，andnearlyeightyearsherjunior；shewasverymuchconcernedwithkeepingeverythingnice，andunmercifullybulliedbymytwocousins，whotookaftertheirfatherandfollowedtheimaginationsoftheirownhearts。
Theyweretall，dark，warmlyflushedgirlshandsomeratherthanpretty。Gertrude，theeldestandtallest，hadeyesthatwerealmostblack；Sibylwasofastouterbuild，andhereyes，ofwhichshewasshamelesslyproud，weredarkblue。Sibyl\'shairwaved，andGertrude\'swasseverelystraight。Theytreatedmeonmyfirstvisitwithallthecontemptoftheadolescentgirlforaboyalittleyoungerandinfinitelylessexpertinthebusinessoflifethanherself。Theywereverybusywiththewritingsofnotesandcertainmysteriousgoingsandcomingsoftheirown，andleftmeverymuchtomyowndevices。Theirspeechinmypresencewasfullofunfathomableallusions。Theywerethesortofgirlswhowilltalkoverandthroughanuninitiatedstrangerwiththepleasantestsenseofsuperiority。
Imetthematbreakfastandatlunchandatthehalf-pastsixo\'clockhighteathatformedthethirdchiefmealoftheday。I
heardthemrattlingoffthecompositionsofChaminadeandMoskowski，withgreatdecisionandeffect，andhoveredontheedgeoftennisfoursomeswhereitwasmanifesttothedullestintelligencethatmypresencewasunnecessary。ThenIwentofftofindsomereadablebookintheplace，butapartfrommiscellaneouspopularnovels，someveterinaryworks，anumberofcomicbooks，oldboundvolumesofTHE
ILLUSTRATEDLONDONNEWSandalarge，popularillustratedHistoryofEngland，therewasverylittletobefound。Myanuttalkedtomeinacasualfeebleway，chieflyaboutmymotber\'slastillness。Thetwobadseenverylittleofeachotherformanyyears；shemadenosecretofitthattheineligiblequalitiesofmyfatherwerethecauseoftheestrangement。TheonlyothersocietyinthehouseduringthedaywasanoldandratherdecayedSkyeterrierinconstantconflictwithwhatwerenodoubtimaginaryfleas。Itookmyselfoffforaseriesofwalks，andacquiredaconsiderableknowledgeofthesceneryandtopographyofthePotteries。
ItpuzzledmyauntthatIdidnotgowestward，whereitwascountry-
sideandoftenquitepretty，withhedgerowsandfieldsandcopsesandflowers。ButalwaysIwenteastward，whereinalongvalleyindustrialismsmokesandsprawls。ThatwasthestufftowhichI
turnedbynature，tothehumaneffort，andtheaccumulationandjarofmen\'sactivities。Andinsuchacountryasthatvalleysocialandeconomicrelationsweresimpleandmanifest。InsteadofthelimitlessconfusionofLondon\'spopulation，inwhichnomancantraceanybutthemostslendercorrelationbetweenrichandpoor，inwhicheveryoneseemsdisconnectedandadriftfromeveryone，youcanseeheretheworks，thepotbankortheironworksorwhatnot，andherecloseathandthecongested，meanly-housedworkers，andatalittledistanceasmallmiddle-classquarter，andagainremoter，thebighouseoftheemployer。Itwaslikeaverysimplifieddiagram——
aftertheuntraceableconfusionofLondon。
Iprowledalone，curiousandinterested，throughshabbybackstreetsofmeanlittlehomes；Ifollowedcanals，sometimescanalsofmysteriouslyheatedwaterswithghostlywispsofsteamrisingagainstblackenedwallsoradistantprospectofdustbin-fedvegetablegardens，Isawthewomenpouringoutfromthepotbanks，heardthehooterssummoningthetoilerstowork，lostmywayuponslagheapsasbigasthehillsofthesouthcountry，dodgedtrainsatmanifestlydangerouslevelcrossings，andsurveyedacrossdarkinterveningspaces，theflaminguproar，thegnome-likeactivitiesofironfoundries。Iheardtalkofstrikesandrumoursofstrikes，andlearntfromthecolumnsofsomeobscurelabourpaperIboughtoneday，ofthehorrorsoftheleadpoisoningthatwasinthosedaysoneofthenormalrisksofcertainsortsofpotteryworkers。ThenbackIcame，bytheuglygroaningandclangingsteamtramofthatperiod，tomyuncle\'shouseandlavishabundanceofmoneyandmoreorlessfurtiveflirtationsandthetinkleofMoskowskiandChaminade。Itwas，Isay，diagrammatic。Onesawtheexpropriatorandtheexpropriated——asifMarxhadarrangedthepicture。ItwasasjumbledandfarmoredingyanddisastrousthananyoftheconfusionsofbuildinganddevelopmentthathadsurroundedmyyouthatBromsteadandPenge，butithadanovelqualityofbeingexplicable。
Ifoundgreatvirtueintheword\"exploitation。\"
Therestuckinmymindasifitwassymbolicalofthewholethingthetwistedfigureofaman，whosefacehadbeenhorriblyscalded——I
can\'tdescribehow，exceptthatoneeyewasjustexpressionlesswhite——andhegroundatanorganbearingacardwhichtoldinweakandbitterlysatiricalphrasingthathehadbeenscaldedbythehotwaterfromthetuyeresoftheblastfurnaceofLordPandram\'sworks。
Hehadbeenscaldedandquiteinadequatelycompensatedanddismissed。AndLordPandramwasworthhalfamillion。
Thatupturnedsightlesswhiteeyeofhistookpossessionofmyimagination。Idon\'tthinkthateventhenIwasswayedbyanycrudemelodramaticconceptionofinjustice。Iwasquitepreparedtobelievethecardwasn\'tapunctiliouslyaccuratestatementoffact，andthatacasecouldbemadeoutforLordPandram。Stillthereinthemuddygutter，painfullyanddreadfully，wastheman，andhewassmashedandscaldedandwretched，andhegroundhisdismalhurdygurdywithawearyarm，callinguponHeavenandthepasser-byforhelp，forhelpandsomesortofrighting——onecouldnotimaginequitewhat。Therehewasasafact，asaby-productofthesystemthatheapedmycousinswithtrinketsandprovidedthecomicnovelsandtheabundantcigarsandspaciousbilliard-roomofmyuncle\'shouse。Icouldn\'tdisconnecthimandthem。
Myuncleonhispartdidnothingtoconcealthestateofwarthatexistedbetweenhimselfandhisworkers，andthemingledcontemptandanimosityhefeltfromthem。
3
Prosperityhadovertakenmyuncle。Soquitenaturallyhebelievedthateverymanwhowasnotasprosperousashewashadonlyhimselftoblame。Hewasrichandhehadleftschoolandgoneintohisfather\'sbusinessatfifteen，andthatseemedtohimtheproperageatwhicheveryone\'seducationshouldterminate。HewasveryanxioustodissuademefromgoinguptoCambridge，andwearguedintermittentlythroughallmyvisit。
Ihadrememberedhimasabigandbuoyantman，stridingdestructivelyaboutthenurseryfloorofmychildhood，andsalutingmyexistencebyslaps，loudlaughter，andquestionsabouthalfherringsandhalfeggssubtlyframedtopuzzleandconfusemymind。
Ididn\'tseehimforsomeyearsuntilmyfather\'sdeath，andthenheseemedrathersmaller，thoughstillafairsize，yellowinsteadofredandmuchlessradiantlyaggressive。Thisalteredeffectwasduenotsomuchtomyownchangedperspectives，Ifancy，astothefactsthathewassufferingforcontinuouscigarsmoking，andbeingtakeninhandbyhisadolescentdaughterswhohadjustreturnedfromschool。
Duringmyfirstvisittherewasaperpetualseriesof——theonlywordisrows，betweenthemandhim。Uptotheageoffifteenorthereabouts，hehadmaintamedhisascendancyoverthembysimpleold-fashionedphysicalchastisement。Thenafteraninterludeofayearithaddawneduponthemthatpowerhadmysteriouslydepartedfromhim。Hehadtriedstoppingtheirpocketmoney，buttheyfoundtheirmotherfinanciallyamenable；besideswhichitwasfundamentaltomyuncle\'sattitudethatheshouldgivethemmoneyfreely。Nottodosowouldseemlikeadmittingadifficultyinmakingit。SothatafterhehadstoppedtheirallowancesforthefourthtimeSybilandGertrudewerepreparedtofacebeggarywithoutaqualm。Ithadbeenhispridetogivethemthelargestallowanceofanygirlsattheschool，notevenexceptingthegranddaughterofFladdentheBoraxKing，andhissoulrecoiledfromthisdisciplineasithadneverrecoiledfromtherudermethodoftheearlierphase。Bothgirlshaddevelopedtoahighpitchintheirmutualrecriminationsagiftfordamagingretort，andhefounditanaltogetherdeadlierthingthanthepoweroftheraisedvoicethathadalwayscowedmyaunt。Wheneverhebecameheatedwiththem，theyfrownedasifinvoluntarily，drewintheirbreathsharply，said：\"Daddy，youreallymustnotsay——\"andcorrectedhispronunciation。Then，atagreatadvantage，theyresumedthediscussion……
Myuncle\'sviewsaboutCambridge，however，wereperfectlyclearanddefinite。Itwaswasteoftimeandmoney。Itwasalldamnedfoolery。Didtheymakeamanabetterbusinessman？Notabitofit。Hegaveinstances。Itspoiltamanforbusinessbygivinghim\"falseideas。\"Somemensaidthatatcollegeamanformedusefulfriendships。Whatusewerefriendshipstoabusinessman？Hemightgettoknowlords，but，asmyunclepointedout，alord\'srequirementsinhislineoffaiencewerelittlegreaterthanacommonman\'s。Ifcollegeintroducedhimtohotelproprietorstheremightbesomethinginit。PerhapsithelpedamanintoParliament，Parliamentstillbeingaconfusedretrogressivecornerintheworldwherelawyersandsuchlikeshelteredthemselvesfromtheonslaughtsofcommon-sensebehindafogofLatinandGreekandtwaddleandtosh；butIwasn\'tthesorttogointoParliament，unlessImeanttobealawyer。DidImeantobealawyer？Itcostnoendofmoney，andwasfullofuncertainties，andtherewerenojudgesnorgreatsolicitorsamongmyrelations。\"Youngchapsthinktheygetonbythemselves，\"saidmyuncle。Itisn\'tso。Notunlesstheytaketheircoatsoff。ItookmineoffbeforeIwasyouragebynighayear。\"
Wewereatcrosspurposesfromtheoutset，becauseIdidnotthinkmenlivedtomakemoney；andIwasobtusetothehintshewasthrowingoutatthepossibilitiesofhisownpotbank，notwillfullyobtuse，butjustfailingtopenetratehismeaning。WhateverCityMerchantshadorhadnotdoneforme，Flack，TophamandoldGateshadcertainlybarredmymistakingtheprofitableproductionandsaleoflavatorybasinsandbathroomfittingsforthehighestgood。Itwasonlyuponreflectionthatitdawneduponmethatthesplendidchanceforayoungfellowwithmyuncle，\"me，havingnosonofmyown，\"wasanythingbutanillustrationforcomparisonwithmyownchosencareer。
Istillrememberverydistinctlymyuncle\'stalk，——helovedtospeak\"reetStaffordshire\"——hisratherflabbyfacewiththemottledcomplexionthattoldofcrudeill-regulatedappetites，hisclumsygestures——hekeptemphasisinghispointsbyproddingatmewithhisfinger——theill-worn，costly，greytweedclothes，thewatchchainofplainsolidgold，andsoftfelthatthrustbackfromhishead。Hetackledmefirstinthegardenafterlunch，andthentriedtoraisemetoenthusiasmbytakingmetohispotbankandshowingmeitsorganisation，fromthedustygrindingmillsinwhichwhitenedmenworkedandcoughed，throughthehighlyventilatedglazingroominwhichstrangelymaskedgirlslookedashamedofthemselves，——\"They\'llriskdeath，thefools，toshowtheirfacestoaman，\"saidmyuncle，quiteaudibly——tothefiringkilnsandtheglazingkilns，andsoroundthewholeplacetotherailwaysidingandthegratifyingspectacleofthreetrucksladenwithexecutedorders。
Thenwewentupacreakingoutsidestaircasetohislittleoffice，andheshowedoffbeforemeforawhile，withoneortwosubordinatesandthetelephone。
\"NoneofyourGas，\"hesaid，\"allthis。It\'sRealeverybitofit。
Hardcashandhardglaze。\"
\"Yes，\"Isaid，withmemoriesofacarelesslyreadpamphletinmymind，andwithoutanysatiricalintention，\"IsupposeyouMUSTuseleadinyourglazes？\"
WhereuponIfoundIhadtappedtherulinggrievanceofmyuncle\'slife。Hehatedleadlessglazesmorethanhehatedanything，exceptthebenevolentpeoplewhohadorganisedtheagitationfortheiruse。
\"Leadlessglazesain\'tonlyfitforbuns，\"hesaid。\"Letmetellyou，myboy——\"
Hebeganinavoiceofblandpersuasivenessthatpresentlywarmedtoanger，toexplainthewholematter。Ihadn\'ttherightsofthematteratall。Firstly，therewaspracticallynosuchthingasleadpoisoning。Secondly，noteveryonewasliabletoleadpoisoning，anditwouldbequiteeasytopickoutthesusceptibletypes——assoonastheyhadit——andputthemtootherwork。Thirdly，theevileffectsofleadpoisoningweremuchexaggerated。Fourthly，andthiswasinaparticularlyconfidentialundertone，manyofthepeoplelikedtogetleadpoisoning，especiallythewomen，becauseitcausedabortion。Imightnotbelieveit，butheknewitforafact。
Fifthly，thework-peoplesimplywouldnotlearnthegravityofthedanger，andwouldeatwithunwashedhands，andincurallsortsofrisks，sothatasmyuncleputit：\"thefoolsdeservewhattheyget。\"Sixthly，heandseveralassociatedfirmshadorganisedasimpleandgenerousinsuranceschemeagainstlead-poisoningrisks。
Seventhly，heneverweariedinrationalasdistinguishedfromexcessive，futileandexpensiveprecautionsagainstthedisease。
Eighthly，intheill-equippedshopsofhisminorcompetitorsleadpoisoningwasafrequentandvirulentevil，andpeoplehadgeneralisedfromtheseexceptionalcases。Thesmallshops，hehazarded，lookingoutofthecrackedanddirtywindowatdistantchimneys，mightbeadvantageouslyclosed……
\"Butwhat\'sthegoodoftalking？\"saidmyuncle，gettingoffthetableonwhichhehadbeensitting。\"Seemstomethere\'llcomeatimewhenamasterwillgetfinedifhedon\'trunroundtheworksblowinghisgirlsnosesforthem。That\'saboutwhatit\'llcometo。\"
Hewalkedtotheblackmantelpieceandstoodonthethreadbarerug，andurgedmenottobemisledbythestoriesofprejudicedandinterestedenemiesofournationalindustries。
\"They\'llgetastrikeoneofthesedays，ofemployers，andthenwe\'llseeabit，\"hesaid。\"They\'lldriveCapitalabroadandthenthey\'llwhistletogetitbackagain。\"……
Heledthewaydowntheshakywoodenstepsandcheereduptotellmeofhiswayofcheckinghiscoalconsumption。Heexchangedaferociousgreetingwithoneortwoworkpeople，andsowecameoutofthefactorygatesintotheuglynarrowstreets，pavedwithapeculiarlyharddiaperedbrickofanunpleasinginky-bluecolour，andborderedwiththemeanandsqualidhomesofhisworkers。Doorsstoodopenandshowedgrimyinteriors，anddirtyill-cladchildrenplayedinthekennel。
Wepassedasickly-lookinggirlwithasallowface，whodraggedherlimbsandpeeredatusdimlywithpainfuleyes。Shestoodback，aspartlyblindedpeoplewilldo，toallowustopass，althoughtherewasplentyofroomforus。
Iglancedbackather。