CHAPTERII
TheAbbydelaVille——TheAbbyGaliani——TheNeapolitanDialect——ISetOutforDunkirkonaSecretMissionISucceed——IReturntoParisbyAmiens——MyAdventurebytheWay——M。delaBretonniere——MyReportGivesSatisfaction——IAmPaidFiveHundredLouis——Reflections。
Anewcareerwasopeningbeforeme。Fortunewasstillmyfriend，andIhadallthenecessaryqualitiestosecondtheeffortsoftheblindgoddessonmybehalfsaveone——perseverance。Myimmoderatelifeofpleasureannulledtheeffectofallmyotherqualities。
M。deBernisreceivedmeinhisusualmanner，thatismorelikeafriendthanaminister。HeaskedmeifIhadanyinclinationforasecretmission。
\"HaveIthenecessarytalents？\"
\"Ithinkso。\"
\"Ihaveaninclinationforallhonestmeansofearningalivelihood，andasformytalentsIwilltakeyourexcellency’sopinionforgranted。\"
Thislastobservationmadehimsmile，asIhadintended。
Afterafewwordsspokenatrandomonthememoriesofbygoneyearswhichtimehadnotentirelydefaced，theministertoldmetogototheAbbedelaVilleandusehisname。
Thisabbe，thechiefpermanentofficialoftheforeignoffice，wasamanofcoldtemperament，aprofounddiplomatist，andthesoulofthedepartment，andhighinfavourwithhisexcellencytheminister。HehadservedthestatewellasanagentatTheHague，andhisgratefulkingrewardedhimbygivinghimabishopriconthedayofhisdeath。
Itwasalittlelate，butkingshavenotalwayssufficientleisuretorememberthings。HisheirwasawealthymannamedGamier，whohadformerlybeenchiefcookatM。d’Argenson’s，andhadbecomerichbyprofitingbythefriendshiptheAbbedelaVillehadalwayshadforhim。Thesetwofriends，whowerenearlyofthesameage，haddepositedtheirwillsinthehandsofthesameattorney，andeachhadmadetheotherhisresiduarylegatee。
Aftertheabbehaddeliveredabriefdiscourseonthenatureofsecretmissionsandthediscretionnecessarytothosechargedwiththem，hetoldmethathewouldletmeknowwhenanythingsuitableformepresenteditself。
ImadetheacquaintanceoftheAbbeGaliani，thesecretaryoftheNeapolitanEmbassy。HewasabrothertotheMarquisdeGaliani，ofwhomIshallspeakwhenwecometomyItaliantravels。TheAbbeGalianiwasamanofwit。Hehadaknackofmakingthemostserioussubjectsappearcomic；andbeingagoodtalker，speakingFrenchwiththeineradicableNeapolitanaccent，hewasafavouriteineverycirclehecaredtoenter。TheAbbedelaVilletoldhimthatVoltairehadcomplainedthathisHenriadehadbeentranslatedintoNeapolitanverseinsuchsortthatitexcitedlaughter。
\"Voltaireiswrong，\"saidGaliani，\"fortheNeapolitandialectisofsuchanaturethatitisimpossibletowriteversesinitthatarenotlaughable。Andwhyshouldhebevexed；hewhomakespeoplelaughissureofbeingbeloved。TheNeapolitandialectistrulyasingularone；wehaveitintranslationsoftheBibleandoftheIliad，andbotharecomic。\"
\"IcanimaginethattheBiblewouldbe，butIshouldnothavethoughtthatwouldhavebeenthecasewiththeIliad。\"
\"Itis，nevertheless。\"
IdidnotreturntoParistillthedaybeforethedepartureofMdlle。
delaMeure，nowMadameP————。Ifeltindutyboundtogoandseeher，togivehermycongratulations，andtowishherapleasantjourney。Ifoundheringoodspiritsandquiteatherease，and，farfrombeingvexedatthis，Iwaspleased，acertainsignthatIwascured。Wetalkedwithouttheslightestconstraint，andIthoughtherhusbandaperfectgentleman。HeinvitedustovisithimatDunkirk，andIpromisedtogowithoutintendingtodoso，butthefateswilledotherwise。
Tirettawasnowleftalonewithhisdarling，whogrewmoreinfatuatedwithherStrephoneveryday，sowelldidheprovehisloveforher。
Withamindatease，InowsetmyselftosentimentalizewithMdlle。
Baletti，whogavemeeverydaysomenewmarkoftheprogressIwasmaking。
ThefriendshipandrespectIboreherfamilymadetheideaofseductionoutofthequestion，butasIgrewmoreandmoreinlovewithher，andhadnothoughtsofmarriage，IshouldhavebeenpuzzledtosayatwhatendIwasaiming，soIletmyselfglidealongthestreamwithoutthinkingwhereIwasgoing。
InthebeginningofMaytheAbbedeBernistoldmetocomeandcallonhimatVersailles，butfirsttoseetheAbbedelaVille。ThefirstquestiontheabbeaskedmewaswhetherIthoughtmyselfcapableofpayingavisittoeightortenmen—of—warintheroadsatDunkirk，ofmakingtheacquaintanceoftheofficers，andofcompletingaminuteandcircumstantialreportonthevictualling，thenumberofseamen，theguns，ammunition，discipline，etc。，etc。
\"Iwillmaketheattempt，\"Isaid，\"andwillhandyouinmyreportonmyreturn，anditwillbeforyoutosayifIhavesucceededornot。\"
\"Asthisisasecretmission，Icannotgiveyoualetterofcommendation；Icanonlygiveyousomemoneyandwishyouapleasantjourney。\"
\"Idonotwishtobepaidinadvance——onmyreturnyoucangivemewhatyouthinkfit。Ishallwantthreeorfourdaysbeforesettingout，asImustprocuresomelettersofintroduction。\"
\"Verygood。Trytocomebackbeforetheendofthemonth。Ihavenofurtherinstructionstogiveyou。\"
OnthesamedayIhadsomeconversationatthePalaisBourbonwithmypatron，whocouldnotadmiresufficientlymydelicacyinrefusingpaymentinadvance；andtakingadvantageofmyhavingdonesohemademeacceptapacketofahundredLouis。ThiswasthelastoccasiononwhichImadeuseofhispurse；IdidnotborrowfromhimatRomefourteenyearsafterwards。
\"Asyouareonasecretmission，mydearCasanova，Icannotgiveyouapassport。Iamsorryforit，butifIdidsoyourobjectwouldbesuspected。However，youwilleasilybeabletogetonefromthefirstgentlemanofthechamber，onsomepretextorother。Silviawillbemoreusefultoyouinthatwaythananybodyelse。Youquiteunderstandhowdiscreetyourbehaviourmustbe。Aboveall，donotgetintoanytrouble；forIsupposeyouknowthat，ifanythinghappenedtoyou，itwouldbeofnousetotalkofyourmission。Weshouldbeobligedtoknownothingaboutyou，forambassadorsaretheonlyavowedspies。Rememberthatyoumustbeevenmorecarefulandreservedthanthey，andyet，ifyouwishtosucceed，allthismustbeconcealed，andyoumusthaveanairoffreedomfromconstraintthatyoumayinspireconfidence。If，onyourreturn，youliketoshewmeyourreportbeforehandingitin，Iwilltellyouwhatmayrequiretobeleftoutoradded。\"
Fullofthisaffair，theimportanceofwhichIexaggeratedinproportiontomyinexperience，ItoldSilviathatIwantedtoaccompanysomeEnglishfriendsasfarasCalais，andthatshewouldobligemebygettingmeapassportfromtheDucdeGesvres。Alwaysreadytoobligeme，shesatdowndirectlyandwrotethedukealetter，tellingmetodeliveritmyselfsincemypersonaldescriptionwasnecessary。ThesepassportscarrylegalweightintheIsledeFranceonly，buttheyprocureonerespectinallthenorthernpartsofthekingdom。
FortifiedwithSilvia’sletter，andaccompaniedbyherhusband，I
wenttothedukewhowasathisestateatSt。Toro，andhehadscarcelyreadtheletterthroughbeforehegavemethepassport。
SatisfiedonthispointIwenttoVillette，andaskedMadameifshehadanythingIcouldtaketoherniece。\"Youcantakehertheboxofchinastatuettes，\"saidshe，\"ifM。Cornemanhasnotsentthemalready。\"Icalledonthebankerwhogavemethebox，andinreturnforahundredLouisaletterofcreditonaDunkirkhouse。Ibeggedhimtonamemeintheletterinaspecialmanner，asIwasgoingforthesakeofpleasure。Heseemedgladtoobligeme，andIstartedthesameevening，andthreedayslaterIwasatthe\"HoteldelaConciergerie，\"inDunkirk。
AnhouraftermyarrivalIgavethecharmingMadameP————anagreeablesurprisebyhandingherthebox，andgivingherheraunt’smessages。Justasshewaspraisingherhusband，andtellingmehowhappyshewas，hecamein，sayinghewasdelightedtoseemeandaskedmetostayinhishouse，withoutenquiringwhethermystayinDunkirkwouldbealongorshortone。Iofcoursethankedhim，andafterpromisingtodinenowandagainathishouseIbeggedhimtotakemetothebankeronwhomIhadaletter。
Thebankerreadmyletter，andgavemethehundredlouis，andaskedmetowaitforhimatmyinnwherehewouldcomeformewiththegovernor，aM。deBarail。Thisgentlemanwho，likemostFrenchmen，wasverypolite，aftermakingsomeordinaryenquiries，askedmetosupwithhimandhiswifewhowasstillattheplay。TheladygavemeaskindareceptionasIhadreceivedfromherhusband。Afterwehadpartakenofanexcellentsupperseveralpersonsarrived，andplaycommencedinwhichIdidnotjoin，asIwishedtostudythesocietyoftheplace，andaboveallcertainofficersofbothserviceswhowerepresent。Bymeansofspeakingwithanairofauthorityaboutnavalmatters，andbysayingthatIhadservedinthenavyoftheVenetianRepublic，inthreedaysInotonlyknewbutwasintimatewithallthecaptainsoftheDunkirkfleet。Italkedatrandomaboutnavalarchitecture，ontheVenetiansystemofmanoeuvres，andI
noticedthatthejollysailorswerebetterpleasedatmyblundersthanatmysensibleremarks。
FourdaysafterIhadbeenatDunkirk，oneofthecaptainsaskedmetodinneronhisship，andafterthatalltheothersdidthesame；
andoneveryoccasionIstayedintheshipfortherestoftheday。
Iwascuriousabouteverything——andJackissotrustful！Iwentintothehold，Iaskedquestionsinnumerable，andIfoundplentyofyoungofficersdelightedtoshewtheirownimportance，whogossippedwithoutneedinganyencouragementfromme。Itookcare，however，tolearneverythingwhichwouldbeofservicetome，andintheeveningsIputdownonpaperallthementalnotesIhadmadeduringtheday。
FourorfivehourswasallIallowedmyselfforsleep，andinfifteendaysIhadlearntenough。
Pleasure，gaming，andidleness——myusualcompanions——hadnopartinthisexpedition，andIdevotedallmyenergiestotheobjectofmymission。Idinedoncewiththebanker，oncewithMadameP————，inthetown，andonceinaprettycountryhousewhichherhusbandhad，ataboutaleague’sdistancefromDunkirk。Shetookmethereherself，andonfindingmyselfalonewiththewomanIhadlovedsowellIdelightedherbythedelicacyofmybehaviour，whichwasmarkedonlybyrespectandfriendship。AsIstillthoughthercharming，andasourconnectionhadonlyendedsixweeksago，Iwasastonishedtoseemyselfsoquiet，knowingmydispositiontoowelltoattributemyrestrainttovirtue。What，then，wasthereason？AnItalianproverb，speakingfornature，givesthetruesolutionoftheriddle。
’LaMonanonvuolpensieri’，andmyheadwasfullofthought。
Mytaskwasdone，andbiddinggood—byetoallmyfriends，Isetoutinmypost—chaiseforParis，goingbyanotherwayforthesakeofthechange。Aboutmidnight，onmyaskingforhorsesatsomestage，thenameofwhichIforget，theytoldmethatthenextstagewasthefortifiedtownofAire，whichweshouldnotbeallowedtopassthroughatmidnight。
\"Getmethehorses，\"saidI，\"Iwillmakethemopenthegates。\"
Iwasobeyed，andinduetimewereachedthegates。
Thepostillioncrackedhiswhipandthesentrycalledout，\"Whogoesthere？\"
\"Expressmessenger。\"
Aftermakingmewaitforanhourthegatewasopened，andIwastoldthatImustgoandspeaktothegovernor。Ididso，frettingandfumingonmywayasifIweresomegreatperson，andIwastakentoaroomwhereamaninanelegantnightcapwaslyingbesideaveryprettywoman。
\"Whosemessengerareyou？\"
\"Nobody’s，butasIaminahurry。\"
\"Thatwilldo。Wewilltalkthematterovertomorrow。Inthemeanwhileyouwillacceptthehospitalityoftheguard—room。\"
\"But，sir……\"
\"Butmenobuts，ifyouplease；leavetheroom。\"
Iwastakentotheguard—roomwhereIspentthenightseatedontheground。Thedaylightappeared。Ishouted，swore，madealltheracketIcould，saidIwantedtogoon，butnobodytookanynoticeofme。
Teno’clockstruck。MoreimpatientthanIcansay，Iraisedmyvoiceandspoketotheofficer，tellinghimthatthegovernormightassassinatemeifheliked，buthadnorighttodenymepenandpaper，ortodeprivemeofthepowerofsendingamessengertoParis。
\"Yourname，sir？\"
\"Hereismypassport。\"
Hetoldmethathewouldtakeittothegovernor，butIsnatcheditawayfromhim。
\"Wouldyouliketoseethegovernor？\"
\"Yes，Ishould。\"
Westartedforthegovernor’sapartments。Theofficerwasthefirsttoenter，andintwominutescameoutagainandbroughtmein。I
gaveupmypassportinproudsilence。Thegovernorreaditthrough，examiningmeallthewhiletoseeifIwasthepersondescribed；hethengaveitmeback，tellingmethatIwasfreetogowhereIliked。
\"Notsofast，sir，Iamnotinsuchahurrynow。IshallsendamessengertoParisandwaithisreturn；forbystoppingmeonmyjourneyyouhaveviolatedalltherightsofthesubject。\"
\"Youviolatedthemyourselfincallingyourselfamessenger。\"
\"Notatall；ItoldyouthatIwasnotone。\"
\"Yes，butyoutoldyourpostillionthatyouwere，andthatcomestothesamething。\"
\"Thepostillionisaliar，Itoldhimnothingofthekind。\"
\"Whydidn’tyoushewyourpassport？\"
\"Whydidn’tyougivemetimetodoso？Inthecourseofthenextfewdaysweshallseewhoisright。\"
\"Justasyouplease。\"
Iwentoutwiththeofficerwhotookmetotheposting—place，andaminuteafterwardsmycarriagedrewup。Theposting—placewasalsoaninn，andItoldthelandlordtohaveaspecialmessengerreadytocarryoutmyorders，togivemeagoodroomandagoodbed，andtoservemesomerichsoupimmediately；andIwarnedhimthatIwasaccustomedtogoodfare。Ihadmyportmanteauandallmybelongingstakenintomyroom，andhavingwashedandputonmydressing—gownI
satdowntowrite，towhomIdidnotknow，forIwasquitewronginmycontention。However，Ihadbegunbyplayingthegreatman，andI
thoughtmyselfboundinhonourtosustainthepart，withoutthinkingwhetherIstoodtohavetobackoutofitorno。AllthesameIwasvexedathavingtowaitinAiretillthereturnofthemessenger，whomIwasabouttosendtothe—moon！Inthemeanwhile，nothavingclosedaneyeallnight，Ideterminedtotakearest。Iwassittinginmyshirt—sleevesandeatingthesoupwhichhadbeenservedtome，whenthegovernorcameinunaccompanied。Iwasbothsurprisedanddelightedtoseehim。
\"Iamsorryforwhathashappened，sir，andaboveallthatyouthinkyouhavegoodreasonforcomplaint，inasmuchasIonlydidmyduty，forhowwasItoimaginethatyourpostillionhadcalledyouamessengeronhisownresponsibility。\"
\"That’sallverywell，sir，butyoursenseofdutyneednothavemadeyoudrivemefromyourroom。\"
\"Iwasinneedofsleep。\"
\"Iaminthesamepositionatthepresentmoment，butafeelingofpolitenesspreventsmefromimitatingyourexample。\"
\"MayIaskifyouhaveeverbeenintheservice？\"
\"Ihaveservedbylandandsea，andhaveleftoffwhenmostpeopleareonlybeginning。\"
\"Inthatcaseyouwillbeawarethatthegatesofafortifiedtownareonlyopenedbynighttotheking’smessengersortomilitarysuperiors。\"
\"Yes，Iknow；butsincetheywereopenedthethingwasdone，andyoumightaswellhavebeenpolite。\"
\"Willyounotputonyourclothes，andwalkashortdistancewithme！\"
Hisinvitationpleasedmeaswellashispridehaddispleasedme。I
hadbeenthinkingofaduelasapossiblesolutionofthedifficulty，butthepresentcoursetookalltroubleoutofmyhands。Iansweredquietlyandpolitelythatthehonourofwalkingwithhimwouldbeenoughtomakemeputoffallothercalls，andIaskedhimtobeseatedwhileImadehastetodressmyself。
Idrewonmybreeches，throwingthesplendidpistolsinmypocketsontothebed，calledupthebarber，andintenminuteswasready。I
putonmysword，andwewentout。
Wewalkedsilentlyenoughalongtwoorthreestreets，passedthroughagate，upacourt，tillwegottoadoorwheremyguidestoppedshort。Heaskedmetocomein，andIfoundmyselfinafineroomfullofpeople。Ididnotthinkofgoingback，butbehavedasifI
hadbeeninmyownhouse。
\"Sir—mywife，\"saidthegovernor；andturningtoherwithoutpausing，\"hereisM。deCasanova，whohascometodinnerwithus。\"
\"Iamdelightedtohearit，sir，asotherwiseIshouldhavehadnochanceofforgivingyouforwakingmeuptheothernight。\"
\"Ipaiddearlyformyfault，madam，butafterthepurgatoryIhadenduredIamsureyouwillallowmetobehappyinthisparadise。\"
Sheansweredwithacharmingsmile，andafteraskingmetositbesidehershecontinuedwhateverconversationwaspossibleinthemidstofagameatcards。
Ifoundmyselfcompletelyoutwitted，butthethingwasdonesopleasantlythatallIcoulddowastoputagoodfaceonit——afeatwhichIfoundsufficientlyeasyfromthereliefIfeltatnolongerbeingboundtosendamessengertoIdidnotknowwhom。
Thegovernorwellsatisfiedwithhisvictory，gotallatonceintohighspirits，andbegantotalkaboutmilitarymatters，theCourt，andongeneraltopics，oftenaddressingmewiththatfriendlyeasewhichgoodFrenchsocietyknowssowellhowtoreconcilewiththerulesofpoliteness；noonecouldhaveguessedthattherehadeverbeentheslightestdifferencebetweenus。Hehadmadehimselftheheroofthepiecebythedexterousmannerinwhichhehadleduptothesituation，butIhadafairclaimtothesecondplace，forI
hadmadeanexperiencedofficerhighincommandgivemethemostflatteringkindofsatisfaction，whichborewitnesstotheesteemwithwhichIhadinspiredhim。
Thedinnerwasserved。Thesuccessofmypartdependedonthemannerinwhichitwasplayed，andmywithasseldombeenkeenerthanduringthismeal。Thewholeconversationwasinapleasantvein，andItookgreatcaretogivethegovernor’swifeopportunitiesforshininginit。Shewasacharmingandprettywoman，stillquiteyouthful，forshewasatleastthirtyyearsyoungerthanthegovernor。Nothingwassaidaboutmysixhours’stayintheguard—room，butatdessertthegovernorescapedspeakingplainlybyajokethatwasnotworththetroubleofmaking。
\"You’reaniceman，\"saidhe，\"tothinkIwasgoingtofightyou。
Ah！ha！Ihavecaughtyou，haven’tI？\"
\"WhotoldyouthatIwasmeditatingaduel？\"
\"Confessthatsuchwasthecase？\"
\"Iprotest；thereisagreatdifferencebetweenbelievingandsupposing；theoneispositive，theothermerelyhypothetical。I
mustconfess，however，thatyourinvitationtotakeawalkrousedmycuriosityastowhatwastocomenext，andIadmireyourwit。ButyoumustbelievemethatIdonotregardmyselfascaughtinatrap——
farfromthat，IamsowellpleasedthatIfeelgratefultoyou。\"
Intheafternoonwealltookawalk，andIgavemyarmtothecharmingmistressofthehouse。IntheeveningItookmyleave，andsetoutearlythenextdayhavingmadeafaircopyofmyreport。
Atfiveo’clockinthemorningIwasfastasleepinmycarriage，whenIwassuddenlyawakened。WewereatthegateofAmiens。Thefellowatthedoorwasanexciseman——araceeverywheredetestedandwithgoodcause，forbesidestheinsolenceoftheirmannersnothingmakesamanfeelmorelikeaslavethantheinquisitorialsearchtheyareaccustomedtomakethroughone’sclothesandmostsecretpossessions。
HeaskedmeifIhadanythingcontraband；andbeinginabadtemperatbeingdeprivedofmysleeptoanswersuchaquestionIrepliedwithanoaththatIhadnothingofthesort，andthathewouldhavedonebettertoletmesleep。
\"Asyoutalkinthatstyle，\"saidthecreature，，\"wewillseewhatwecansee。\"
Heorderedthepostilliontopassonwiththecarriage。Hehadmyluggagehauleddown，andnotbeingabletohinderhimIfumedinsilence。
Isawmymistake，buttherewasnothingtobedone；andhavingnocontrabandgoodsIhadnothingtofear，butmybadtempercostmetwowearyhoursofdelay。Thejoysofvengeanceweredepictedonthefeaturesoftheexciseman。AtthetimeofwhichIamwritingthesegaugerswerethedregsofthepeople，butwouldbecometractableonbeingtreatedwithalittlepoliteness。Thesumoftwenty—foursousgivenwithgoodgracewouldmakethemassuppleasapairofgloves；
theywouldbowtothetravellers，wishthemapleasantjourney，andgivenotrouble。Iknewallthis，buttherearetimeswhenamanactsmechanicallyasIhaddone，unfortunately。
Thescoundrelsemptiedmyboxesandunfoldedeverythingeventomyshirts，betweenwhichtheysaidImighthaveconcealedEnglishlace。
Aftersearchingeverythingtheygavemebackmykeys，buttheyhadnotyetdonewithus；theybegantosearchmycarriage。Therascalwhowasattheheadofthembegantoshout\"victory，\"hehaddiscoveredtheremainderofapoundofsnuffwhichIhadboughtatSt。OmeronmywaytoDunkirk。
Withavoiceoftriumphthechiefexcisemangaveordersthatmycarriageshouldbeseized，andwarnedmethatIwouldhavetopayafineoftwelvehundredfrancs。
Forthenoncemypatiencewasexhausted，andIleavethenamesI
calledthemtotheimaginationofthereader；buttheywereproofagainstwords。Itoldthemtotakemetothesuperintendent’s。
\"Youcangoifyoulike，\"saidthey，\"wearenotyourservants。\"
Surroundedbyacuriouscrowd，whomthenoisehaddrawntogether，I
begantowalkhurriedlytowardsthetown，andenteringthefirstopenshopIcameto，Ibeggedtheshopkeepertotakemetothesuperintendent’s。AsIwastellingthecircumstancesofthecase，amanofgoodappearance，whohappenedtobeintheshop，saidthathewouldbegladtoshowmethewayhimself，thoughhedidnotthinkI
shouldfindthesuperintendentin，ashewoulddoubtlessbewarnedofmycoming。
\"Withoutyourpayingeitherthefineorcautionmoney，\"saidhe，\"youwillfinditahardmattertogetyourselfoutofthedifficulty。\"
Ientreatedhimtoshewmethewaytothesuperintendent’s，andnottotroubleaboutanythingelse。Headvisedmetogivetherabblealouistobuydrink，andthustoridmyselfofthem，onwhichIgavehimthelouis，begginghimtoseetoithimself，andthebargainwassoonstruck。Hewasaworthyattorney，andknewhismen。
Wegottothesuperintendent’s；but，asmyguidehadwarnedme，mygentlemanwasnottobeseen。Theportertoldusthathehadgoneoutalone，thathewouldnotbebackbeforenight，andthathedidnotknowwherehehadgone。
\"There’sawholedaylost，then，\"saidtheattorney。
\"Letusgoandhunthimup；hemusthavewell—knownresortsandfriends，andwewillfindthemout。Iwillgiveyoualouisfortheday’swork；willthatbeenough？\"
\"Ample。\"
Wespentinvainfourhoursinlookingforthesuperintendentintenortwelvehouses。Ispoketothemastersofallofthem，exaggeratingconsiderablytheinjurythathadbeendonetome。Iwaslistenedto，condoledwith，andcomfortedwiththeremarkthathewouldcertainlybeobligedtoreturntohishouseatnight，andthenhecouldnothelphearingwhatIhadtosay。Thatwouldnotsuitme，soIcontinuedthechase。
Atoneo’clocktheattorneytookmetoanoldlady，whowasthoughtagreatdealofinthetown。Shewasdiningallbyherself。Aftergivinggreatattentiontomystory，shesaidthatshedidnotthinkshecouldbedoingwrongintellingastrangerthewhereaboutsofanindividualwho，invirtueofhisoffice，oughtnevertobeinaccessible。
\"Andso，sir，Imayrevealtoyouwhatafterallisnosecret。MydaughtertoldmeyesterdayeveningthatshewasgoingtodineatMadameN————’s，andthatthesuperintendentwastobethere。Doyougoafterhimnow，andyouwillfindhimattableinthebestsocietyinAmiens，but，\"saidshe，withasmile，\"Iadviseyounottogiveyournameatthedoor。Thenumerousservantswillshewyouthewaywithoutaskingforyourname。Youcanthenspeaktohimwhetherhelikesitornot，andthoughyoudon’tknowhimhewillhearallyousay。IamsorrythatIcannotbepresentatsofineasituation。\"
Igratefullytookleaveoftheworthylady，andIsetoffinallhastetothehouseIhadbeentoldof，theattorney，whowasalmosttiredout，accompanyingme。WithouttheleastdifficultyheandI
slippedinbetweenthecrowdsofservantstillwegottoahallwherethereweremorethantwentypeoplesittingdowntoarichanddelicaterepast。
\"Ladiesandgentlemen，youwillexcusemytroublingyourquietonthisfestiveoccasionwithataleofterror。\"
Atthesewords，utteredinthevoiceofJupiterTonans，everybodyrose。Thesurpriseofthehigh—borncompanyofknightsandladiesatmyapparitioncaneasilybeimagined。
\"Sinceseveno’clockthismorningIhavebeensearchingfromdoortodoorandfromstreettostreetforhishonourthesuperintendent，whomIhaveatlastbeenfortunateenoughtofindhere，forIknowperfectlywellthatheispresent，andthatifhehaveearshehearsmenow。Iamcometorequesthimtoorderhisscoundrellymyrmidonswhohaveseizedmycarriagetogiveitup，sothatImaycontinuemyjourney。Ifthelawsbidmepaytwelvehundredfrancsforsevenouncesofsnuffformyownprivateuse，IrenouncethoselawsanddeclarethatIwillnotpayafarthing。Ishallstayhereandsendamessengertomyambassador，whowillcomplainthatthe’jusgentium’
hasbeenviolatedintheIle—de—Franceinmyperson，andIwillhavereparation。LouisXV。isgreatenoughtorefusetobecomeanaccompliceinthisstrangeonslaught。Andifthatsatisfactionwhichismylawfulrightisnotgrantedme，Iwillmakethethinganaffairofstate，andmyRepublicwillnotrevengeitselfbyassaultingFrenchmenforafewpinchesofsnuff，butwillexpelthemallrootandbranch。IfyouwanttoknowwhomIam，readthis。\"
Foamingwithrage，Ithrewmypassportonthetable。
Amanpickeditupandreadit，andIknewhimtobethesuperintendent。WhilemypaperswerebeinghandedroundIsawexpressedoneveryfacesurpriseandindignation，butthesuperintendentrepliedhaughtilythathewasatAmienstoadministerjustice，andthatIcouldnotleavethetownunlessIpaidthefineorgavesurety。
\"Ifyouareheretodojustice，youwilllookuponmypassportasapositivecommandtospeedmeonmyway，andIbidyouyourselfbemysuretyifyouareagentleman。\"
\"Doeshighbirthgobailforbreachesofthelawinyourcountry？\"
\"Inmycountrymenofhighbirthdonotcondescendtotakedishonourableemployments。\"
\"Noserviceunderthekingcanbedishonourable。\"
\"Thehangmanwouldsaythesamething。\"
\"Takecarewhatyousay。\"
\"Takecarewhatyoudo。Know，sir，thatIamafreemanwhohasbeengrievouslyoutraged，andknow，too，thatIfearnoone。Throwmeoutofthewindow，ifyoudare。\"
\"Sir，\"saidaladytomeinthevoiceofthemistressofthehouse，\"inmyhousethereisnothrowingoutofwindows。\"
\"Madam，anangrymanmakesuseoftermswhichhisbetterreasondisowns。Iamwrongedbyamostcruelactofinjustice，andIhumblycraveyourpardonforhavingoffendedyou。PleasetoreflectthatforthefirsttimeinmylifeIhavebeenoppressedandinsulted，andthatinakingdomwhereIthoughtmyselfsafefromallbuthighwayrobbers。ForthemIhavemypistols，andfortheworthysuperintendentsIhaveapassport，butIfindthelatteruseless。
ForthesakeofsevenouncesofsnuffwhichIboughtatSt。Omerthreeweeksago，thisgentlemanrobsmeandinterruptsmyjourney，thoughtheking’smajestyismysuretythatnooneshallinterferewithme；hecallsonmetopayfiftylouis，hedeliversmetotherageofhisimpudentmenialsandtothederisionofthemob，fromwhomIhadtoridmyselfbymymoneyandtheaidofthisworthymanbesideme。Iamtreatedlikeascoundrel，andthemanwhoshouldhavebeenmydefenderanddelivererslinksawayandhideshimself，andaddstotheinsultsIhavereceived。Hismyrmidonshaveturnedmyclothesupsidedown，andpitchforkedmylinenatthefootofthetowngates，torevengethemselvesonmefornotgivingthemtwenty，foursous。To—morrowthemannerinwhichIhavebeentreatedwillbeknowntothediplomaticbodiesatVersaillesandParis，andinafewdaysitwillbeinallthenewspapers。IwillpaynotafarthingbecauseIowenotafarthing。Now，sir，amItosendacouriertotheDucdeGesvres？\"
\"Whatyouhavegottodoistopay，andifyoudonotcaretopay，youmaydowhateveryoulike。\"
\"Then，ladiesandgentlemen，good—bye。Asforyou，sir，weshallmeetagain。\"
AsIwasrushingoutoftheroomlikeamadman，IheardsomebodycallingouttomeingoodItaliantowaitaminute。Iturnedround，andsawthevoicehadproceededfromamanpastmiddleage，whoaddressedthesuperintendentthus:——
\"Letthisgentlemanproceedonhisjourney；Iwillgobailforhim。
Doyouunderstandme，superintendent？Iwillbehissurety。Youdon’tknowtheseItalians。IwentthroughthewholeofthelastwarinItaly，andIunderstandthenationalcharacter。Besides，Ithinkthegentlemanisintheright。\"
\"Verygood，\"saidtheofficial，turningtome。\"Allyouhavetodoistopayamatterofthirtyorfortyfrancsatthecustoms’officeastheaffairisalreadybooked。\"
\"IthoughtItoldyouthatIwouldnotpayasinglefarthing，andI
tellityouagain。Butwhoareyou，sir，\"saidI，turningtotheworthyoldman，\"whoaregoodenoughtobecomesuretyformewithoutknowingme？\"
\"Iamacommissaryofmusters，sir，andmynameisdelaBretonniere。
IliveinParisatthe’HoteldeSaxe，’RueColombien，whereIshallbegladtoseeyouafterto—morrow。WewillgotogethertoM。
Britard，who，afterhearingyourcase，willdischargemybail。\"
AfterIhadexpressedmygratitude，andtoldhimthatIwouldwaituponhimwithoutfail，Imademyexcusestothemistressofthehouseandtheguests，andleftthem。
Itookmyworthyattorneytodinneratthebestinnintheplace，andIgavehimtwolouisforhistrouble。WithouthishelpandthatofthecommissaryIshouldhavebeeningreatdifficulty；itwouldhavebeenacaseoftheearthenpotandtheironpotoveragain；forwithjacks—in—officereasonisofnouse，andthoughIhadplentyofmoneyIwouldneverhaveletthewretchesrobmeoffiftylouis。
Mycarriagewasdrawnupatthedoorofthetavern；andjustasIwasgettingin，oneoftheexcisemenwhohadsearchedmyluggagecameandtoldmethatIshouldfindeverythingjustasIleftit:——
\"Iwonderatthatsinceithasbeenleftinthehandsofmenofyourstamp；shallIfindthesnuff？\"
\"Thesnuffhasbeenconfiscated，mylord。\"
\"Iamsorryforyou，then；forifithadbeenthereIwouldhavegivenyoualouis。\"
\"Iwillgoandlookforitdirectly。\"
\"Ihavenotimetowaitforit。Driveon，postillion。\"
IgottoParisthenextday，andfourdaysafterIwaitedonM。delaBretonniere，whogavemeaheartywelcome，andtookmetoM。
Britard，thefermier—general，whodischargedhisbail。ThisM。
Britardwasapleasantyoungman。HeblushedwhenheheardallIhadgonethrough。
ItookmyreporttoM。deBernis，atthe\"HotelBourbon，\"andhisexcellencespenttwohoursoverit，makingmetakeoutallunnecessarymatter。Ispentthetimeinmakingafaircopy，andthenextdayItookittoM。delaVille，whoreaditthroughinsilence，andtoldmethathewouldletmeknowtheresult。AmonthafterI
receivedfivehundredlouis，andIhadthepleasureofhearingthatM。deCremille，thefirstlordoftheadmiralty，hadpronouncedmyreporttobenotonlyperfectlyaccuratebutverysuggestive。
Certainreasonableapprehensionspreventedmefrommakingmyselfknowntohim——anhonourwhichM。deBerniswishedtoprocureforme。
WhenItoldhimmyadventuresonthewayback，helaughed，butsaidthatthehighestmeritofasecretagentwastokeepoutofdifficulties；forthoughhemighthavethetacttoextricatehimselffromthem，yethegottalkedof，whichitshouldbehischiefcaretoavoid。
Thismissioncosttheadmiraltytwelvethousandfrancs，andtheministermighteasilyhaveprocuredalltheinformationIgavehimwithoutspendingapenny。Anyintelligentyoungnavalofficerwouldhavedoneitjustaswell，andwouldhaveacquittedhimselfwithzealanddiscretion，togainthegoodopinionoftheministers。ButalltheFrenchministersarethesame。Theylavishedmoneywhichcameoutofotherpeople’spocketstoenrichtheircreatures，andtheywereabsolute；thedowntroddenpeoplecountedfornothing，andofthiscoursetheindebtednessofthestateandtheconfusionofthefinancesweretheinevitableresults。ItisquitetruethattheRevolutionwasanecessity，butitshouldhavebeenmarkedwithpatriotismandrightfeeling，notwithblood。However，thenobilityandclergywerenotmenofsufficientgenerositytomakethenecessarysacrificestotheking，thestate，andtothemselves。
SilviawasmuchamusedatmyadventuresatAireandAmiens，andhercharmingdaughtershewedmuchpityforthebadnightIhadpassedintheguard—room。ItoldherthatthehardshipwouldhavebeenmuchlessifIhadhadawifebesideme。Sherepliedthatawife，ifagoodone，wouldhavebeenonlytoohappytoalleviatemytroublesbysharinginthem，buthermotherobservedthatawomanofparts，afterseeingtothesafetyofmybaggageandmycoach，wouldhavebusiedherselfintakingthenecessarystepsforsettingmeatliberty，andIsupportedthisopinionasbestindicatingtherealdutyofagoodwife。
CHAPTERIII
TheCountdelaTourD’AuvergneandMadameD’Urfe——Camille——MyPassionfortheCount’sMistress——TheRidiculousIncidentWhichCuredMe——TheCountdeSt。GermainInspiteofmyloveforMdlle。Baletti，Ididnotomittopaymycourttothemostnotedladiesofthepavement；butIwaschieflyinterestedinkeptwomen，andthosewhoconsiderthemselvesasbelongingtothepubliconlyinplayingbeforethemnightbynight，queensorchamber—maids。
Inspiteofthisaffection，theyenjoywhattheycalltheirindependence，eitherbydevotingthemselvestoCupidortoPlutus，andmorefrequentlytobothtogether。Asitisnotverydifficulttomaketheacquaintanceofthesepriestessesofpleasureanddissipation，Isoongottoknowseveralofthem。
Thehallsofthetheatresarecapitalplacesforamateurstoexercisetheirtalentsinintriguing，andIhadprofitedtolerablywellbythelessonsIhadlearntinthisfineschool。
Ibeganbybecomingthefriendoftheirlovers，andIoftensucceededbypretendingtobeamanofwhomnobodyneedbeafraid。
Camille，anactressanddancerattheItalianplay，withwhomIhadfalleninloveatFontainebleusevenyearsago，wasoneofthoseofwhomIwasmostfond，likingthesocietyatherprettylittlehouse，whereshelivedwiththeCountd’Eigreville，whowasafriendofmine，andfondofmycompany。HewasabrotheroftheMarquisdeGamacheandoftheCountessduRumain，andwasafineyoungfellowofanexcellentdisposition。Hewasneversowellpleasedaswhenhesawhismistresssurroundedbypeople——atastewhichisrarelyfound，butwhichisveryconvenient，andthesignofatemperamentnotafflictedbyjealousy。Camillehadnootherlovers——anastonishingthinginanactressofthekind，butbeingfulloftactandwitshedrovenoneofheradmirerstodespair。Shewasneitheroversparingnorovergenerousinthedistributionofherfavours，andknewhowtomakethewholetownraveaboutherwithoutfearingtheresultsofindiscretionorsorrowsofbeingabandoned。
Thegentlemanofwhom，afterherlover，shetookmostnotice，wastheCountdelaTourd’Auvergne，anoblemanofanoldfamily，whoidolizedher，and，notbeingrichenoughtopossessherentirely，hadtobecontentwithwhatshegavehim。Camillehadgivenhimayounggirl，forwhosekeepshepaid，wholivedwithTourd’AuvergneinfurnishedapartmentsintheRuedeTaranne，andwhomhesaidhelovedasonelovesaportrait，becauseshecamefromCamille。ThecountoftentookherwithhimtoCamille’stosupper。Shewasfifteen，simpleinhermanners，andquitedevoidofambition。ShetoldherloverthatshewouldneverforgivehimanactofinfidelityexceptwithCamille，towhomshefeltboundtoyieldallsincetohersheowedall。
IbecamesomuchinlovewithherthatIoftenwenttoCamille’ssolelytoseeherandtoenjoythoseartlessspeecheswithwhichshedelightedthecompany。IstroveasbestIcouldtoconcealmyflame，butoftenIfoundmyselflookingquitesadatthethoughtoftheimpossibilityofmylovebeingcrownedwithsuccess。IfIhadletmypassionbesuspectedIshouldhavebeenlaughedat，andshouldhavemademyselfamarkforthepitilesssarcasmsofCamille。However，I
gotmycureinthefollowingridiculousmanner:——
CamillelivedattheBarriereBlanche，andonleavingherhouse，onerainyevening，Isoughtinvainforacoachtotakemehome。
\"MydearCasanova，\"saidTourd’Auvergne，\"Icandropyouatyourowndoorwithoutgivingmyselftheslightestinconvenience，thoughmycarriageisonlyseatedfortwo；however，mysweetheartcansitonourknees。\"
Iacceptedhisofferwithpleasure，andweseatedourselvesinthecarriage，thecountonmylefthandandBabetonbothourknees。
BurningwithamorouspassionIthoughtIwouldtaketheopportunity，and，tolosenotime，asthecoachmanwasdrivingfast，Itookherhandandpresseditsoftly。Thepressurewasreturned。Joy！I
carriedthehandtomylips，andcovereditwithaffectionatethoughnoiselesskisses。Longingtoconvinceheroftheardourofmypassion，andthinkingthatherhandwouldnotrefusetodomeasweetservice，I……butjustatcriticalmoment，\"Iamreallyverymuchobligedtoyou，mydearfellow，\"saidtheCountdelaTourd’Auvergne，\"forapieceofpolitenessthoroughlyItalian，ofwhich，however，Idonotfeelworthy；atleast，Ihopeit’smeantaspolitenessandnotasasignofcontempt。\"
AtthesedreadfulwordsIstretchedoutmyhandandfeltthesleeveofhiscoat。Presenceofmindwasnogoodinasituationlikethis，whenhiswordswerefollowedbyapealofloudlaughterwhichwouldhaveconfoundedthehardiestspirit。Asforme，Icouldneitherjoininhislaughternordenyhisaccusation；thesituationwasafearfulone，orwouldhavebeenifthefriendlyshadesofnighthadnotcoveredmyconfusion。Babetdidherbesttofindoutfromthecountwhyhelaughedsomuch，buthecouldnottellherforlaughing，forwhichIgavethankswithallmyheart。Atlastthecarriagestoppedatmyhouse，andassoonasmyservanthadopenedthedoorofmycarriageIgotdownasfastasIcould，andwishedthemgoodnight——acomplimentwhichTourd’Auvergnereturnedwithfreshpealsoflaughter。Ienteredmyhouseinastateofstupefaction，andhalfanhourelapsedbeforeI，too，begantolaughattheadventure。Whatvexedmemostwastheexpectationofhavingmaliciousjestspasseduponme，forIhadnottheleastrighttoreckononthecount’sdiscretion。However，IhadenoughsensetodeterminetojoininthelaughterifIcould，andifnot，totakeitwell，forthisis，andalwayswillbe，thebestwaytogetthelaughersonone’sownsideatParis。
ForthreedaysIsawnothingofthedelightfulcount，andonthefourthIresolvedtoaskhimtotakebreakfastwithme，asCamillehadsenttomyhousetoenquirehowIwas。Myadventurewouldnotpreventmevisitingherhouse，butIwasanxioustoknowhowithadbeentaken。
AssoonasTourd’Auvergnesawmehebegantoroarwithlaughter，andIjoinedin，andwegreetedeachotherinthefriendliestmannerpossible。\"Mydearcount，\"saidI，\"letusforgetthisfoolishstory。Youhavenobusinesstoattackme，asIdonotknowhowtodefendmyself。\"
\"Whyshouldyoudefendyourself，mydearfellow。Welikeyouallthebetterforit，andthishumorousadventuremakesusmerryeveryevening。\"
\"Everybodyknowsit，then？\"
\"Ofcourse，whynot？ItmakesCamillechokewithlaughter。Comethisevening；IwillbringBabet，andshewillamuseyouasshemaintainsthatyouwerenotmistaken。\"
\"Sheisright。\"
\"Eh？what？Youdometoomuchhonour，andIdon’tbelieveyou；buthaveitasyoulike。\"
\"Ican’tdobetter，butImustconfesswhenall’ssaidthatyouwerenotthepersontowhommyfeveredimaginationofferedsuchardenthomage。\"
AtsupperIjested，pretendedtobeastonishedatthecount’sindiscretion，andboastedofbeingcuredofmypassion。Babetcalledmeavillain，andmaintainedthatIwasfarfromcured；butshewaswrong，astheincidenthaddisgustedmewithher，andhadattachedmetothecount，who，indeed，wasamanofthemostamiablecharacter。
Nevertheless，ourfriendshipmighthavebeenafatalone，asthereaderwillseepresently。
Oneevening，whenIwasattheItaliantheatre，Tourd’Auvergnecameuptomeandaskedmetolendhimahundredlouis，promisingtorepaymenextSaturday。
\"Ihaven’tgotthemoney，\"Isaid，\"butmypurseandallitcontainsisatyourservice。\"
\"Iwantahundredlouis，mydearfellow，andimmediately，asIlostthematplayyesterdayeveningatthePrincessofAnhalt’s。\"
\"ButIhaven’tgotthem。\"
\"Thereceiverofthelotteryoughtalwaystobeabletoputhishandonahundredlouis。\"
\"Yes，butIcan’ttouchmycash—box；Ihavetogiveitupthisdayweek。\"
\"Soyoucan；asIwillrepayyouonSaturday。Takeahundredlouisfromthebox，andputinmywordofhonourinstead；don’tyouthinkthatisworthahundredLouis？\"
\"Ihavenothingtosaytothat，waitformeaminute。\"
Irantomyoffice，tookoutthemoneyandgaveittohim。Saturdaycamebutnocount，andasIhadnomoneyIpawnedmydiamondringandreplacedthehundredlouisIowedthetill。Threeorfourdaysafterwards，asIwasattheComedieFrancaise，theCountdelaTourd’Auvergnecameuptomeandbegantoapologize。Irepliedbyshewingmyhand，andtellinghimthatIhadpawnedmyringtosavemyhonour。Hesaid，withamelancholyair，thatamanhadfailedtokeephiswordwithhim，buthewouldbesuretogivemethehundredlouisontheSaturdayfollowing，adding，\"Igiveyoumywordofhonour。\"
\"Yourwordofhonourisinmybox，solet’ssaynothingaboutthat。
Youcanrepaymewhenyoulike。\"
Thecountgrewaspaleasdeath。
\"Mywordofhonour，mydearCasanova，ismoreprecioustomethanmylife；andIwillgiveyouthehundredlouisatnineo’clockto—morrowmorningatahundredpacesfromthecaf？attheendoftheChamps—
Elysees。Iwillgiveyoutheminperson，andnobodywillseeus。I
hopeyouwillnotfailtobethere，andthatyouwillbringyoursword。Ishallhavemine。\"
\"Faith，count！that’smakingmepayratherdearformyjest。Youcertainlydomeagreathonour，butIwouldratherbegyourpardon，ifthatwouldpreventthistroublesomeaffairfromgoinganyfurther。\"
\"No，Iammoretoblamethanyou，andtheblamecanonlyberemovedbythesword’spoint。Willyoumeetme？
\"IdonotseehowIcanrefuseyou，althoughIamverymuchaversetotheaffair。\"
IlefthimandwenttoSilvia’s，andtookmysuppersadly，forI
reallylikedthisamiablenobleman，andinmyopinionthegameweweregoingtoplaywasnotworththecandle。IwouldnothavefoughtifIcouldhaveconvincedmyselfthatIwasinthewrong，butafterturningthematterwell—over，andlookingatitfromeverypointofview，Icouldnothelpseeingthatthefaultlayinthecount’sexcessivetouchiness，andIresolvedtogivehimsatisfaction。AtallhazardsIwouldnotfailtokeeptheappointment。
Ireachedthecaf？amomentafterhim。Wetookbreakfasttogetherandhepayed。WethenwentoutandwalkedtowardstheEtoile。Whenwegottoashelteredplacehedrewabundleofahundredlouisfromhispocket，gaveittomewiththegreatestcourtesy，andsaidthatonestrokeoftheswordwouldbesufficient。Icouldnotreply。
Hewentofffourpacesanddrewhissword。Ididthesamewithoutsayingaword，andsteppingforwardalmostassoonasourbladescrossedIthrustandhithim。Idrewbackmyswordandsummonedhimtokeephisword，feelingsurethatIhadwoundedhiminhischest。
Hegentlykissedhissword，andputtinghishandintohisbreasthedrewitoutcoveredwithblood，andsaidpleasantlytome，\"Iamsatisfied。\"
IsaidtohimallthatIcould，andallthatitwasmydutytosayinthewayofcompliment，whilehewasstanchingthebloodwithhishandkerchief，andonlookingatthepointofmyswordIwasdelightedtofindthatthewoundwasoftheslightest。Itoldhimsoofferingtoseehimhome。Hethankedmeandbeggedmetokeepmyowncounsel，andtoreckonhimhenceforthamongstmytruestfriends。AfterIhadembracedhim，minglingmytearswithmyembraces，Ireturnedhome，sadatheartbuthavinglearntamostusefullesson。Nooneeverknewofourmeeting，andaweekafterwardswesuppedtogetheratCamille’s。
Afewdaysafter，IreceivedfromM。delaVillethefivehundredlouisformyDunkirkmission。OnmygoingtoseeCamilleshetoldmethatTourd’Auvergnewaskeptinbedbyanattackofsciatica，andthatifIlikedwecouldpayhimavisitthenextday。Iagreed，andwewent。AfterbreakfastwasoverItoldhiminaseriousvoicethatifhewouldgivemeafreehandIcouldcurehim，ashewasnotsufferingfromsciaticabutfromamoistandwindyhumourwhichI
coulddispersemymeansoftheTalismanofSolomonandfivemysticwords。Hebegantolaugh，buttoldmetodowhatIliked。
\"Verygood，thenIwillgooutandbuyabrush。\"
\"Iwillsendaservant。\"
\"No，Imustgetitmyself，asIwantsomedrugsaswell。\"Iboughtsomenitre，mercury，flowerofsulphur，andasmallbrush，andonmyreturnsaid，\"Imusthavealittleofyour—————，thisliquidisindispensable，anditmustbequitefresh。\"
Camilleandhebegantolaugh，butIsucceededinkeepingtheseriousfacesuitabletomyoffice。Ihandedhimamugandmodestlyloweredthecurtains，andhethendidwhatIwanted。
Imadeamixtureofthevariousingredients，andItoldCamillethatshemustrubhisthighwhilstIspokethecharm，butIwarnedherthatifshelaughedwhileshewasaboutititwouldspoilall。Thisthreatonlyincreasedtheirgoodhumour，andtheylaughedwithoutcessation；forassoonastheythoughttheyhadgotoverit，theywouldlookatoneanother，andafterrepressingthemselvesaslongastheycouldwouldburstoutafresh，tillIbegantothinkthatIhadboundthemtoanimpossiblecondition。Atlast，afterholdingtheirsidesforhalfanhour，theysetthemselvestobeseriousinrealearnest，takingmyimperturbablegravityfortheirexample。DelaTourd’Auvergnewasthefirsttoregainaseriousface，andhethenofferedCamillehisthigh，andshe，fancyingherselfontheboards，begantorubthesickman，whilstImumbledinanundertonewordswhichtheywouldnothaveunderstoodhoweverclearlyIhadspoken，seeingthatIdidnotunderstandthemmyself。
IwasnearlyspoilingtheefficacyoftheoperationwhenIsawthegrimacestheymadeintryingtokeepserious。NothingcouldbemoreamusingthantheexpressiononCamille’sface。AtlastItoldherthatshehadrubbedenough，anddippingthebrushintothemixtureI
drewonhisthighthefive—pointedstarcalledSolomon’sseal。I
thenwrappedupthethighinthreenapkins，andItoldhimthatifhewouldkeepquietfortwenty—fourhourswithouttakingoff——hisnapkins，Iwouldguaranteeacure。
Themostamusingpartofitallwas，thatbythetimeIhaddonethecountandCamillelaughednomore，theirfacesworeabewilderedlook，andasforme……IcouldhaveswornIhadperformedthemostwonderfulworkintheworld。Ifonetellsalieasufficientnumberoftimes，oneendsbybelievingit。
Afewminutesafterthisoperation，whichIhadperformedasifbyinstinctandonthespurofthemoment，CamilleandIwentawayinacoach，andItoldhersomanywonderfultalesthatwhenshegotoutatherdoorshelookedquitemazed。
Fourorfivedaysafter，whenIhadalmostforgottenthefarce，I
heardacarriagestoppingatmydoor，andlookingoutofmywindowsawM。delaTourd’Auvergneskippingnimblyoutofthecarriage。
\"Youweresureofsuccess，then，\"saidhe，\"asyoudidnotcometoseemethedayafteryourastoundingoperation。\"
\"OfcourseIwassure，butifIhadnotbeentoobusyyouwouldhaveseenme，forallthat。\"
\"MayItakeabath？\"
\"No，don’tbathetillyoufeelquitewell。\"
\"Verygood。Everybodyisinastateofastonishmentatyourfeat，asIcouldnothelptellingthemiracletoallmyacquaintances。Therearecertainlysomescepticswholaughatme，butIletthemtalk。\"
\"Youshouldhavekeptyourowncounsel；youknowwhatParisislike。
Everybodywillbeconsideringmeasamaster—quack。\"
\"Notatall，notatall。Ihavecometoaskafavourofyou。\"
\"What’sthat？\"
\"Ihaveanauntwhoenjoysagreatreputationforherskillintheoccultsciences，especiallyinalchemy。Sheisawomanofwit，very，rich，andsolemistressofherfortune；inshort，knowingherwilldoyounoharm。Shelongstoseeyou，forshepretendstoknowyou，andsaysthatyouarenotwhatyouseem。Shehasentreatedmetotakeyoutodinewithher，andIhopeyouwillaccepttheinvitation。HernameistheMarchionessd’Urfe\"
Ididnotknowthislady，butthenameofd’Urfecaughtmyattentiondirectly，asIknewallaboutthefamousAnned’Urfewhoflourishedtowardstheendoftheseventeenthcentury。Theladywasthewidowofhisgreat—grandson，andonmarryingintothefamilybecameabelieverinthemysticaldoctrinesofascienceinwhichIwasmuchinterested，thoughIgaveitlittlecredit。IthereforerepliedthatIshouldbegladtogo，butontheconditionthatthepartyshouldnotexceedthecount，hisaunt，andmyself。
\"Shehastwelvepeopleeverydaytodinner，andyouwillfindyourselfinthecompanyofthebestsocietyinParis。\"
\"Mydearfellow，that’sexactlywhatIdon’twant；forIhatetobethoughtamagician，whichmusthavebeentheeffectofthetalesyouhavetold。\"
\"Oh，no！notatall；yourcharacteriswellknown，andyouwillfindyourselfinthesocietyofpeoplewhohavethegreatestregardforyou。\"
\"Areyousureofthat？\"
\"TheDuchessdel’Oragnaistoldme，that，fourorfiveyearsago，youwereoftentobeseenatthePalaisRoyal，andthatyouusedtospendwholedayswiththeDuchessd’Orleans；MadamedeBouffers，MadamedeBlots，andMadamedeMelforthavealsotalkedtomeaboutyou。Youarewrongnottokeepupyouroldacquaintances。Iknowatleastahundredpeopleofthefirstrankwhoaresufferingfromthesamemaladyasthatofwhichyoucuredme，andwouldgivethehalfoftheirgoodstobecured。\"
DelaTourd’Auvergnehadreasononhisside，butasIknewhiswonderfulcurehadbeenduetoasingularcoincidence，Ihadnodesiretoexposemyselftopublicridicule。IthereforetoldhimthatIdidnotwishtobecomeapubliccharacter，andthathemusttellMadamed’UrfethatIwouldhavethehonourofcallingonherinstrictprivacyonly，andthatshemighttellmethedayandhouronwhichIshouldkneelbeforeher。
ThesameeveningIhadaletterfromthecountmakinganappointmentattheTuileriesforthemorrow；hewastomeetmethere，andtakemetohisaunt’stodinner。Nooneelsewastobepresent。
Thenextdaywemeteachotherashadbeenarranged，andwenttoseeMadamed’Urfe，wholivedontheQuaidesTheatins，onthesamesideasthe\"HotelBouillon。\"
Madamed’Urfe，awomanadvancedinyears，butstillhandsome，receivedmewithallthecourtlygraceoftheCourtoftheRegency。
Wespentanhourandahalfinindifferentconversation，occupiedinstudyingeachother’scharacter。Eachwastryingtogetatthebottomoftheother。
Ihadnotmuchtroubleinplayingthepartoftheunenlightened，forsuch，inpointoffact，wasmystateofmind，andMadamed’Urfeunconsciouslybetrayedthedesireofshewingherlearning；thisputmeatmyease，forIfeltsureIcouldmakeherpleasedwithmeifI
succeededinmakingherpleasedwithherself。
Attwoo’clockthesamedinnerthatwaspreparedeverydayfortwelvewasservedforusthree。Nothingworthyofnote（sofarasconversationwent）wasdoneatdinner，aswetalkedcommonplaceafterthemannerofpeopleoffashion。
AfterthedessertTourd’AuvergneleftustogoandseethePrincedeTurenne，whowasinahighfever，andafterhewasgoneMadamed’Urfebegantodiscussalchemyandmagic，andalltheotherbranchesofherbelovedscience，orratherinfatuation。Whenwegotontothemagnumopus，andIaskedherifsheknewthenatureofthefirstmatter，itwasonlyherpolitenesswhichpreventedherfromlaughing；butcontrollingherself，sherepliedgraciouslythatshealreadypossessedthephilosopher’sstone，andthatshewasacquaintedwithalltheoperationsofthework。Shethenshewedmeacollectionofbookswhichhadbelongedtothegreatd’Urfe，andReneeofSavoy，hiswife；butshehadaddedtoitmanuscriptswhichhadcosthermorethanahundredthousandfrancs。Paracelsuswasherfavouriteauthor，andaccordingtoherhewasneitherman，woman，norhermaphrodite，andhadthemisfortunetopoisonhimselfwithanoverdoseofhispanacea，oruniversalmedicine。SheshewedmeashortmanuscriptinFrench，wherethegreatworkwasclearlyexplained。Shetoldmethatshedidnotkeepitunderlockandkey，becauseitwaswritteninacypher，thesecretofwhichwasknownonlytoherself。
\"Youdonotbelieve，then，insteganography。\"
\"No，sir，andifyouwouldlikeit，Iwillgiveyouthiswhichhasbeencopiedfromtheoriginal。\"
\"Iacceptit，madam，withallthemoregratitudeinthatIknowitsworth。\"
>Fromthelibrarywewentintothelaboratory，atwhichIwastrulyastonished。Sheshewedmematterthathadbeeninthefurnaceforfifteenyears，andwastobethereforfourorfiveyearsmore。Itwasapowderofprojectionwhichwastotransforminstantaneouslyallmetalsintothefinestgold。Sheshewedmeapipebywhichthecoaldescendedtothefurnace，keepingitalwaysatthesameheat。Thelumpsofcoalwereimpelledbytheirownweightatproperintervalsandinequalquantities，sothatshewasoftenthreemonthswithoutlookingatthefurnace，thetemperatureremainingthesamethewholetime。Thecinderswereremovedbyanotherpipe，mostingeniouslycontrived，whichalsoansweredthepurposeofaventilator。
Thecalcinationofmercurywasmerechild’splaytothiswonderfulwoman。Sheshewedmethecalcinedmatter，andsaidthatwheneverI
likedshewouldinstructmeastotheprocess。InextsawtheTreeofDianaofthefamousTaliamed，whosepupilshewas。HisrealnamewasMaillot，andaccordingtoMadamed’Urfehehadnot，aswassupposed，diedatMarseilles，butwasstillalive；\"and，\"addedshe，withaslightsmile，\"Ioftengetlettersfromhim。IftheRegentofFrance，\"saidshe，\"hadlistenedtomehewouldbealivenow。Hewasmyfirstfriend；hegavemethenameofEgeria，andhemarriedmetoM。d’Urfe\"
ShepossessedacommentaryonRaymondLully，whichclearedupalldifficultpointsinthecommentsofArnolddeVillanovaontheworksofRogerBaconandHeber，who，accordingtoher，werestillalive。
Thispreciousmanuscriptwasinanivorycasket，thekeyofwhichshekeptreligiously；indeedherlaboratorywasaclosedroomtoallbutmyself。Isawasmallcaskfullof’platinadelPinto’，whichshetoldmeshecouldtransmuteintogoldwhenshepleased。IthadbeengivenherbyM。Voodhimselfin1743。Sheshewedmethesamemetalinfourphials。Inthefirstthreetheplatinumremainedintactinsulphuric，nitric，andmuriaticacid，butinthefourth，whichcontained’aquaregia’，themetalhadnotbeenabletoresisttheactionoftheacid。Shemelteditwiththeburning—glass，andsaiditcouldbemeltedinnootherway，whichproved，inheropinion，itssuperioritytogold。Sheshewedmesomeprecipitatedbysalammoniac，whichwouldnotprecipitategold。
Herathanorhadbeenalightforfifteenyears。Thetopwasfullofblackcoal，whichmademeconcludethatshehadbeeninthelaboratorytwoorthreedaysbefore。StoppingbeforetheTreeofDiana，Iaskedher，inarespectfulvoice，ifsheagreedwiththosewhosaiditwasonlyfittoamusechildren。Shereplied，inadignifiedmanner，thatshehadmadeittodivertherselfwiththecrystallizationofthesilver，spiritofnitre，andmercury，andthatshelookeduponitasapieceofmetallicvegetation，representinginlittlewhatnatureperformedonalargerscale；butsheadded，veryseriously，thatshecouldmakeaTreeofDianawhichshouldbeaveryTreeoftheSun，whichwouldproducegoldenfruit，whichmightbegathered，andwhichwouldcontinuetobeproducedtillnomoreremainedofacertainingredient。IsaidmodestlythatIcouldnotbelievethethingpossiblewithoutthepowderofprojection，butheronlyanswerwasapleasedsmile。
Shethenpointedoutachinabasincontainingnitre，mercury，andsulphur，andafixedsaltonaplate。
\"Youknowtheingredients，Isuppose？\"saidshe。
\"Yes；thisfixedsaltisasaltofurine。\"
\"Youareright。\"
\"Iadmireyoursagacity，madam。YouhavemadeananalysisofthemixturewithwhichItracedthepentacleonyournephew’sthigh，butinwhatwaycanyoudiscoverthewordswhichgivethepentacleitsefficacy？\"
\"Inthemanuscriptofanadept，whichIwillshewyou，andwhereyouwillfindtheverywordsyouused。\"
Ibowedmyheadinreply，andweleftthiscuriouslaboratory。
WehadscarcelyarrivedinherroombeforeMadamed’Urfedrewfromahandsomecasketalittlebook，boundinblack，whichsheputonthetablewhileshesearchedforamatch。Whileshewaslookingabout，I
openedthebookbehindherback，andfoundittobefullofpentacles，andbygoodluckfoundthepentacleIhadtracedonthecount’sthigh。Itwassurroundedbythenamesofthespiritsoftheplanets，withtheexceptionofthoseofSaturnandMars。Ishutupthebookquickly。ThespiritsnamedwerethesameasthoseintheworksofAgrippa，withwhichIwasacquainted。WithanunmovedcountenanceIdrewnearher，andshesoonfoundthematch，andherappearancesurprisedmeagooddeal；butIwillspeakofthatanothertime。
Themarchionesssatdownonhersofa，andmakingmetodothelikesheaskedmeifIwasacquaintedwiththetalismansoftheCountdeTreves？
\"Ihaveneverheardofthem，madam，butIknowthoseofPoliphilus:\"
\"Itissaidtheyarethesame。\"
\"Idon’tbelieveit。\"
\"Weshallsee。Ifyouwillwritethewordsyouuttered，asyoudrewthepentacleonmynephew’sthigh，andifIfindthesametalismanwiththesamewordsaroundit，theidentitywillbeproved。\"
\"Itwill，Iconfess。Iwillwritethewordsimmediately。\"
Iwroteoutthenamesofthespirits。Madamed’Urfefoundthepentacleandreadoutthenames，whileIpretendingastonishment，gaveherthepaper，andmuchtoherdelightshefoundthenamestobethesame。
\"Yousee，\"saidshe，\"thatPoliphilusandtheCountdeTrevespossessedthesameart。\"
\"Ishallbeconvincedthatitisso，ifyourbookcontainsthemannerofpronouncingtheineffablenames。Doyouknowthetheoryoftheplanetaryhours？\"
\"Ithinkso，buttheyarenotneededinthisoperation。\"
\"Theyareindispensable，madam，forwithoutthemonecannotworkwithanycertainty。IdrewSolomon’spentacleonthethighofCountdelaTourd’AuvergneinthehourofVenus，andifIhadnotbegunwithArael，thespiritofVenus，theoperationwouldhavehadnoeffect。\"
\"Ididnotknowthat。AndafterArael？\"
\"NextcomesMercury，thentheMoon，thenJupiter，andthentheSun。