\"Thatiswellsaid。Willyouwritethematonce?\"
\"What!now,monsignor?Itisnotlikeprose。\"
\"Well,well!trytoletmehavethemto—morrow。\"
Wedinedalone,andhiseminencecomplimentedmeuponmyexcellentappetite,whichheremarkedwasasgoodashisown;butIwasbeginningtounderstandmyeccentrichost,and,toflatterhim,I
answeredthathepraisedmemorethanIdeserved,andthatmyappetitewasinferiortohis。Thesingularcomplimentdelightedhim,andIsawalltheuseIcouldmakeofhiseminence。
Towardstheendofthedinner,aswewereconversing,themarchionessmadeherappearance,and,asamatterofcourse,withoutbeingannounced。Herlooksthrewmeintoraptures;Ithoughtheraperfectbeauty。Shedidnotgivethecardinaltimetomeether,butsatdownnearhim,whileIremainedstanding,accordingtoetiquette。
Withoutappearingtonoticeme,themarchionessranwittilyovervarioustopicsuntilcoffeewasbroughtin。Then,addressingherselftome,shetoldmetositdown,justasifshewasbestowingcharityuponme。
\"By—the—by,abbe,\"shesaid,aminuteafter,\"haveyoureadmysonnet?\"
\"Yes,madam,andIhavehadthehonourtoreturnittohiseminence。
IhavefounditsoperfectthatIamcertainitmusthavecostyouagreatdealoftime。\"
\"Time?\"exclaimedthecardinal;\"Oh!youdonotknowthemarchioness。\"
\"Monsignor,\"Ireplied,\"nothingcanbedonewellwithouttime,andthatiswhyIhavenotdaredtochewtoyoureminenceananswertothesonnetwhichIhavewritteninhalfanhour。\"
\"Letusseeit,abbe,\"saidthemarchioness;\"Iwanttoreadit。\"
\"AnswerofSilesiatoLove。\"Thistitlebroughtthemostfascinatingblushesonhercountenance。\"ButLoveisnotmentionedinthesonnet,\"exclaimedthecardinal。\"Wait,\"saidthemarchioness,\"wemustrespecttheideaofthepoet:\"
Shereadthesonnetoverandover,andthoughtthatthereproachesaddressedbySilesiatoLovewereveryjust。Sheexplainedmyideatothecardinal,makinghimunderstandwhySilesiawasoffendedathavingbeenconqueredbytheKingofPrussia。
\"Ah,Isee,Isee!\"exclaimedthecardinal,fullofjoy;\"Silesiaisawoman……andtheKingofPrussia……Oh!oh!thatisreallyafineidea!\"Andthegoodcardinallaughedheartilyformorethanaquarterofanhour。\"Imustcopythatsonnet,\"headded,\"indeedI
musthaveit。\"
\"Theabbe,\"saidtheobligingmarchioness,\"willsaveyouthetrouble:Iwilldictateittohim。\"
Ipreparedtowrite,buthiseminencesuddenlyexclaimed,\"Mydearmarchioness,thisiswonderful;hehaskeptthesamerhymesasinyourownsonnet:didyouobserveit?\"
Thebeautifulmarchionessgavemethenalookofsuchexpressionthatshecompletedherconquest。Iunderstoodthatshewantedmetoknowthecardinalaswellassheknewhim;itwasakindofpartnershipinwhichIwasquitereadytoplaymypart。
AssoonasIhadwrittenthesonnetunderthecharmingwoman’sdictation,Itookmyleave,butnotbeforethecardinalhadtoldmethatheexpectedmetodinnerthenextday。
Ihadplentyofworkbeforeme,forthetenstanzasIhadtocomposewereofthemostsingularcharacter,andIlostnotimeinshuttingmyselfupinmyroomtothinkofthem。Ihadtokeepmybalancebetweentwopointsofequaldifficulty,andIfeltthatgreatcarewasindispensable。Ihadtoplacethemarchionessinsuchapositionthatshecouldpretendtobelievethecardinaltheauthorofthestanzas,and,atthesametime,compelhertofindoutthatIhadwrittenthem,andthatIwasawareofherknowingit。Itwasnecessarytospeaksocarefullythatnotoneexpressionshouldbreatheeventhefaintesthopeonmypart,andyettomakemystanzasblazewiththeardentfireofmyloveunderthethinveilofpoetry。
Asforthecardinal,Iknewwellenoughthatthebetterthestanzaswerewritten,themoredisposedhewouldbetosignthem。AllI
wantedwasclearness,sodifficulttoobtaininpoetry,whilealittledoubtfuldarknesswouldhavebeenaccountedsublimebymynewMidas。But,althoughIwantedtopleasehim,thecardinalwasonlyasecondaryconsideration,andthehandsomemarchionesstheprincipalobject。
Asthemarchionessinherverseshadmadeapompousenumerationofeveryphysicalandmoralqualityofhiseminence,itwasofcoursenaturalthatheshouldreturnthecompliment,andheremytaskwaseasy。Atlasthavingmasteredmysubjectwell,Ibeganmywork,andgivingfullcareertomyimaginationandtomyfeelingsIcomposedthetenstanzas,andgavethefinishingstrokewiththesetwobeautifullinesfromAriosto:
LeangelicchebellezzenatealcieloNonsiponnocelarsottoalcumvelo。
Ratherpleasedwithmyproduction,Ipresenteditthenextdaytothecardinal,modestlysayingthatIdoubtedwhetherhewouldaccepttheauthorshipofsoordinaryacomposition。Hereadthestanzastwiceoverwithouttasteorexpression,andsaidatlastthattheywereindeednotmuch,butexactlywhathewanted。HethankedmeparticularlyforthetwolinesfromAriosto,sayingthattheywouldassistinthrowingtheauthorshipuponhimself,astheywouldprovetotheladyforwhomtheywereintendedthathehadnotbeenabletowritethemwithoutborrowing。And,astooffermesomeconsolation,hetoldmethat,inrecopyingthelines,hewouldtakecaretomakeafewmistakesintherhythmtocompletetheillusion。
Wedinedearlierthanthedaybefore,andIwithdrewimmediatelyafterdinnersoastogivehimleisuretomakeacopyofthestanzasbeforethearrivalofthelady。
ThenexteveningImetthemarchionessattheentranceofthepalace,andofferedhermyarmtocomeoutofhercarriage。Theinstantshealighted,shesaidtome,\"IfeveryourstanzasandminebecomeknowninRome,youmaybesureofmyenmity。\"
\"Madam,Idonotunderstandwhatyoumean。\"
\"Iexpectedyoutoanswermeinthismanner,\"repliedthemarchioness,\"butrecollectwhatIhavesaid。\"
Ileftheratthedoorofthereception—room,andthinkingthatshewasreallyangrywithme,Iwentawayindespair。\"Mystanzas,\"I
saidtomyself,\"aretoofiery;theycompromiseherdignity,andherprideisoffendedatmyknowingthesecretofherintriguewithCardinalS。C。Yet,Ifeelcertainthatthedreadsheexpressesofmywantofdiscretionisonlyfeigned,itisbutapretexttoturnmeoutofherfavour。Shehasnotunderstoodmyreserve!Whatwouldshehavedone,ifIhadpaintedherinthesimpleapparelofthegoldenage,withoutanyofthoseveilswhichmodestyimposesuponhersex!\"IwassorryIhadnotdoneso。Iundressedandwenttobed。
MyheadwasscarcelyonthepillowwhentheAbbeGamaknockedatmydoor。Ipulledthedoor—string,andcomingin,hesaid,\"Mydearsir,thecardinalwishestoseeyou,andIamsentbythebeautifulmarchionessandCardinalS。C。,whodesireyoutocomedown。\"
\"Iamverysorry,butIcannotgo;tellthemthetruth;Iamillinbed。\"
Astheabbedidnotreturn,Ijudgedthathehadfaithfullyacquittedhimselfofthecommission,andIspentaquietnight。Iwasnotyetdressedinthemorning,whenIreceivedanotefromCardinalS。C。
invitingmetodinner,sayingthathehadjustbeenbled,andthathewantedtospeaktome:heconcludedbyentreatingmetocometohimearly,evenifIdidnotfeelwell。
Theinvitationwaspressing;Icouldnotguesswhathadcausedit,butthetoneoftheletterdidnotforebodeanythingunpleasant。I
wenttochurch,whereIwassurethatCardinalAcquavivawouldseeme,andhedid。Aftermass,hiseminencebeckonedtome。
\"Areyoutrulyill?\"heenquired。
\"No,monsignor,Iwasonlysleepy。\"
\"Iamverygladtohearit;butyouarewrong,foryouareloved。
CardinalS。C。hasbeenbledthismorning。\"
\"Iknowit,monsignor。Thecardinaltellsmesointhisnote,inwhichheinvitesmetodinewithhim,withyourexcellency’spermission。\"
\"Certainly。Butthisisamusing!Ididnotknowthathewantedathirdperson。\"
\"Willtherebeathirdperson?\"
\"Idonotknow,andIhavenocuriosityaboutit。\"
Thecardinalleftme,andeverybodyimaginedthathiseminencehadspokentomeofstateaffairs。
IwenttomynewMaecenas,whomIfoundinbed。
\"Iamcompelledtoobservestrictdiet,\"hesaidtome;\"Ishallhavetoletyoudinealone,butyouwillnotlosebyitasmycookdoesnotknowit。WhatIwantedtotellyouisthatyourstanzasare,I
amafraid,toopretty,forthemarchionessadoresthem。Ifyouhadreadthemtomeinthesamewaythatshedoes,Icouldneverhavemadeupmymindtoofferthem。\"\"Butshebelievesthemtobewrittenbyyoureminence?\"
\"Ofcourse。\"
\"Thatistheessentialpoint,monsignor。\"
\"Yes;butwhatshouldIdoifshetookitintoherheadtocomposesomenewstanzasforme?\"
\"Youwouldanswerthroughthesamepen,foryoucandisposeofmenightandday,andrelyupontheutmostsecrecy。\"
\"Ibegofyoutoacceptthissmallpresent;itissomenegrillosnufffromHabana,whichCardinalAcquavivahasgivenme。\"
Thesnuffwasexcellent,buttheobjectwhichcontaineditwasstillbetter。Itwasasplendidgold—enamelledbox。Ireceiveditwithrespect,andwiththeexpressionofthedeepestgratitude。
Ifhiseminencedidnotknowhowtowritepoetry,atleastheknewhowtobegenerous,andinadelicatemanner,andthatscienceis,atleastinmyestimation,superiortotheotherforagreatnobleman。
Atnoon,andmuchtomysurprise,thebeautifulmarchionessmadeherappearanceinthemostelegantmorningtoilet。
\"IfIhadknownyouwereingoodcompany,\"shesaidtothecardinal,\"Iwouldnothavecome。\"
\"Iamsure,dearmarchioness,youwillnotfindourdearabbeintheway。\"
\"No,forIbelievehimtobehonestandtrue。\"
Ikeptatarespectfuldistance,readytogoawaywithmysplendidsnuff—boxatthefirstjestshemighthurlatme。
Thecardinalaskedherifsheintendedtoremaintodinner。
\"Yes,\"sheanswered;\"butIshallnotenjoymydinner,forIhatetoeatalone。\"
\"Ifyouwouldhonourhimsofar,theabbewouldkeepyoucompany。\"
Shegavemeagraciouslook,butwithoututteringoneword。
ThiswasthefirsttimeIhadanythingtodowithawomanofquality,andthatairofpatronage,whateverkindnessmightaccompanyit,alwaysputmeoutoftemper,forIthoughtitmadeloveoutofthequestion。However,aswewereinthepresenceofthecardinal,I
fanciedthatshemightberightintreatingmeinthatfashion。
Thetablewaslaidoutnearthecardinal’sbed,andthemarchioness,whoatehardlyanything,encouragedmeinmygoodappetite。
\"Ihavetoldyouthattheabbeisequaltomeinthatrespect,\"saidS。C。
\"Itrulybelieve,\"answeredthemarchioness,\"thathedoesnotremainfarbehindyou;but,\"addedshewithflattery,\"youaremoredaintyinyourtastes。\"
\"WouldherladyshipbesogoodastotellmeinwhatIhaveappearedtohertobeamereglutton?ForinallthingsIlikeonlydaintyandexquisitemorsels。\"
\"Explainwhatyoumeanbysayinginallthings,\"saidthecardinal。
Takingthelibertyoflaughing,IcomposedafewimpromptuversesinwhichInamedallIthoughtdaintyandexquisite。Themarchionessapplauded,sayingthatsheadmiredmycourage。
\"Mycourage,madam,isduetoyou,forIamastimidasaharewhenI
amnotencouraged;youaretheauthorofmyimpromptu。\"
\"Iadmireyou。Asformyself,wereIencouragedbyApollohimself,I
couldnotcomposefourlineswithoutpaperandink。\"
\"Onlygivewayboldlytoyourgenius,madam,andyouwillproducepoetryworthyofheaven。\"
\"That——ismyopinion,too,\"saidthecardinal。\"Ientreatyoutogivemepermissiontoskewyourtenstanzastotheabbe。\"
\"Theyarenotverygood,butIhavenoobjectionprovideditremainsbetweenus。\"
Thecardinalgaveme,then,thestanzascomposedbythemarchioness,andIreadthemaloudwithalltheexpression,allthefeelingnecessarytosuchreading。
\"Howwellyouhavereadthosestanzas!\"saidthemarchioness;\"Icanhardlybelievethemtobemyowncomposition;Ithankyouverymuch。
Buthavethegoodnesstogivethebenefitofyourreadingtothestanzaswhichhiseminencehaswritteninanswertomine。Theysurpassthemmuch。\"
\"Donotbelieveit,mydearabbe,\"saidthecardinal,handingthemtome。\"Yettrynottoletthemloseanythingthroughyourreading。\"
Therewascertainlynoneedofhiseminenceenforcinguponmesucharecommendation;itwasmyownpoetry。Icouldnothavereaditotherwisethaninmybeststyle,especiallywhenIhadbeforemethebeautifulwomanwhohadinspiredthem,andwhen,besides,BacchuswasinmegivingcouragetoApolloasmuchasthebeautifuleyesofthemarchionesswerefanningintoanardentblazethefirealreadyburningthroughmywholebeing。
Ireadthestanzaswithsomuchexpressionthatthecardinalwasenraptured,butIbroughtadeepcarnationtintuponthecheeksofthelovelymarchionesswhenIcametothedescriptionofthosebeautieswhichtheimaginationofthepoetisallowedtoguessat,butwhichIcouldnot,ofcourse,havegazedupon。Shesnatchedthepaperfrommyhandswithpassion,sayingthatIwasaddingversesofmyown;itwastrue,butIdidnotconfessit。Iwasallaflame,andthefirewasscorchingheraswellasme。
Thecardinalhavingfallenasleep,sheroseandwenttotakeaseatonthebalcony;Ifollowedher。Shehadaratherhighseat;Istoodoppositetoher,sothatherkneetouchedthefob—pocketinwhichwasmywatch。Whataposition!Takingholdgentlyofoneofherhands,Itoldherthatshehadignitedinmysouladevouringflame,thatI
adoredher,andthat,unlesssomehopewaslefttomeoffindinghersensibletomysufferings,Iwasdeterminedtoflyawayfromherforever。
\"Yes,beautifulmarchioness,pronouncemysentence。\"
\"Ifearyouarealibertineandanunfaithfullover。\"
\"Iamneitheronenortheother。\"
WiththesewordsIfoldedherinmyarms,andIpresseduponherlovelylips,aspureasarose,anardentkisswhichshereceivedwiththebestpossiblegrace。Thiskiss,theforerunnerofthemostdeliciouspleasures,hadimpartedtomyhandsthegreatestboldness;
Iwasonthepointof……butthemarchioness,changingherposition,entreatedmesosweetlytorespecther,that,enjoyingnewvoluptuousnessthroughmyveryobedience,Inotonlyabandonedaneasyvictory,butIevenbeggedherpardon,whichIsoonreadinthemostlovinglook。
ShespokeofLucrezia,andwaspleasedwithmydiscretion。Shethenalludedtothecardinal,doingherbesttomakemebelievethattherewasnothingbetweenthembutafeelingofinnocentfriendship。OfcourseIhadmyopiniononthatsubject,butitwasmyinteresttoappeartobelieveeverywordsheuttered。Werecitedtogetherlinesfromourbestpoets,andallthetimeshewasstillsittingdownandIstandingbeforeher,withmylooksraptinthecontemplationofthemostlovelycharms,towhichIremainedinsensibleinappearance,forIhadmadeupmymindnottopressherthateveningforgreaterfavoursthanthoseIhadalreadyreceived。
Thecardinal,wakingfromhislongandpeacefulsiesta,gotupandjoinedusinhisnight—cap,andgood—naturedlyenquiredwhetherwehadnotfeltimpatientathisprotractedsleep。Iremaineduntildarkandwenthomehighlypleasedwithmyday’swork,butdeterminedtokeepmyardentdesiresincheckuntiltheopportunityforcompletevictoryoffereditself。
>Fromthatday,thecharmingmarchionessneverceasedtogivemethemarksofherparticularesteem,withouttheslightestconstraint;I
wasreckoninguponthecarnival,whichwascloseathand,feelingcertainthatthemoreIshouldspareherdelicacy,themoreshewouldendeavourtofindtheopportunityofrewardingmyloyalty,andofcrowningwithhappinessmylovingconstancy。Butfateordainedotherwise;DameFortuneturnedherbackuponmeattheverymomentwhenthePopeandCardinalAcquavivawerethinkingofgivingmeareallygoodposition。
TheHolyFatherhadcongratulatedmeuponthebeautifulsnuff—boxpresentedtomebyCardinalS。C。,buthehadbeencarefulnevertonamethemarchioness。CardinalAcquavivaexpressedopenlyhisdelightathisbrother—cardinalhavinggivenmeatasteofhisnegrillosnuffinsosplendidanenvelope;theAbbeGama,findingmesoforwardontheroadtosuccess,didnotventuretocounselmeanymore,andthevirtuousFatherGeorgigavemebutonepieceofadvice—
namely,toclingtothelovelymarchionessandnottomakeanyotheracquaintances。
Suchwasmyposition—trulyabrilliantone,when,onChristmasDay,theloverofBarbaraDalacquaenteredmyroom,lockedthedoor,andthrewhimselfonthesofa,exclaimingthatIsawhimforthelasttime。
\"Ionlycometobegofyousomegoodadvice。\"
\"OnwhatsubjectcanIadviseyou?\"
\"Takethisandreadit;itwillexplaineverything。\"
Itwasaletterfromhismistress;thecontentswerethese:
\"Iampregnantofachild,thepledgeofourmutuallove;Icannolongerhaveanydoubtofit,mybeloved,andIforewarnyouthatI
havemadeupmymindtoquitRomealone,andtogoawaytodiewhereitmaypleaseGod,ifyourefusetotakecareofmeandsaveme。I
wouldsufferanything,doanything,ratherthanletmyfatherdiscoverthetruth。\"
\"Ifyouareamanofhonour,\"Isaid,\"youcannotabandonthepoorgirl。Marryherinspiteofyourfather,inspiteofherown,andlivetogetherhonestly。TheeternalProvidenceofGodwillwatchoveryouandhelpyouinyourdifficulties:\"
Myadviceseemedtobringcalmtohismind,andheleftmemorecomposed。
AtthebeginningofJanuary,1744,hecalledagain,lookingverycheerful。\"Ihavehired,\"hesaid,\"thetopfloorofthehousenexttoBarbara’sdwelling;sheknowsit,andto—nightIwillgainherapartmentthroughoneofthewindowsofthegarret,andwewillmakeallourarrangementstoenablemetocarryheroff。Ihavemadeupmymind;IhavedecidedupontakinghertoNaples,andIwilltakewithustheservantwho,sleepinginthegarret,hadtobemadeaconfidanteof。\"
\"Godspeedyou,myfriend!\"
Aweekafterwards,towardseleveno’clockatnight,heenteredmyroomaccompaniedbyanabbe。
\"Whatdoyouwantsolate?\"
\"Iwishtointroduceyoutothishandsomeabbe。\"
Ilookedup,andtomyconsternationIrecognizedBarbara。
\"Hasanyoneseenyouenterthehouse?\"Ienquired。
\"No;andifwehadbeenseen,whatofit?Itisonlyanabbe。Wenowpasseverynighttogether。\"
\"Icongratulateyou。\"
\"Theservantisourfriend;shehasconsentedtofollowus,andallourarrangementsarecompleted。\"
\"Iwishyoueveryhappiness。Adieu。Ibegyoutoleaveme。\"
Threeorfourdaysafterthatvisit,asIwaswalkingwiththeAbbeGamatowardstheVillaMedicis,hetoldmedeliberatelythattherewouldbeanexecutionduringthenightinthePiazzadiSpagna。
\"Whatkindofexecution?\"
\"Thebargelloorhislieutenantwillcometoexecutesome’ordinesantissimo’,ortovisitsomesuspiciousdwellinginordertoarrestandcarryoffsomepersonwhodoesnotexpectanythingofthesort。\"
\"Howdoyouknowit?\"
\"Hiseminencehastoknowit,forthePopewouldnotventuretoencroachuponhisjurisdictionwithoutaskinghispermission。\"
\"Andhiseminencehasgivenit?\"
\"Yes,oneoftheHolyFather’sauditorscameforthatpurposethismorning。\"
\"Butthecardinalmighthaverefused?\"
\"Ofcourse;butsuchapermissionisneverdenied。\"
\"Andifthepersontobearrestedhappenedtobeundertheprotectionofthecardinal——whatthen?\"
\"Hiseminencewouldgivetimelywarningtothatperson。\"
Wechangedtheconversation,butthenewshaddisturbedme。I
fanciedthattheexecutionthreatenedBarbaraandherlover,forherfather’shousewasundertheSpanishjurisdiction。ItriedtoseetheyoungmanbutIcouldnotsucceedinmeetinghim,andIwasafraidlestavisitathishomeoratM。Dalacqua’sdwellingmightimplicateme。YetitiscertainthatthislastconsiderationwouldnothavestoppedmeifIhadbeenpositivelysurethattheywerethreatened;hadIfeltsatisfiedoftheirdanger,Iwouldhavebravedeverything。
Aboutmidnight,asIwasreadytogotobed,andjustasIwasopeningmydoortotakethekeyfromoutside,anabberushedpantingintomyroomandthrewhimselfonachair。ItwasBarbara;Iguessedwhathadtakenplace,and,foreseeingalltheevilconsequenceshervisitmighthaveforme,deeplyannoyedandveryanxious,Iupbraidedherforhavingtakenrefugeinmyroom,andentreatedhertogoaway。
FoolthatIwas!KnowingthatIwasonlyruiningmyselfwithoutanychanceofsavingher,Ioughttohavecompelledhertoleavemyroom,Ioughttohavecalledfortheservantsifshehadrefusedtowithdraw。ButIhadnotcourageenough,orratherIvoluntarilyobeyedthedecreesofdestiny。
Whensheheardmyordertogoaway,shethrewherselfonherknees,andmeltingintotears,shebegged,sheentreatedmypity!
Whereistheheartofsteelwhichisnotsoftenedbythetears,bytheprayersofaprettyandunfortunatewoman?Igaveway,butI
toldherthatitwasruinforbothofus。
\"Noone,\"shereplied,\"hasseenme,Iamcertain,whenIenteredthemansionandcameuptoyourroom,andIconsidermyvisithereaweekagoasmostfortunate;otherwise,Inevercouldhaveknownwhichwasyourroom。\"
\"Alas!howmuchbetterifyouhadnevercome!Butwhathasbecomeofyourlover?\"
\"The’sbirri’havecarriedhimoff,aswellastheservant。Iwilltellyouallaboutit。Myloverhadinformedmethatacarriagewouldwaitto—nightatthefootoftheflightofstepsbeforetheChurchofTrinitadelMonte,andthathewouldbetherehimself。I
enteredhisroomthroughthegarretwindowanhourago。ThereIputonthisdisguise,and,accompaniedbytheservant,proceededtomeethim。Theservantwalkedafewyardsbeforeme,andcarriedaparcelofmythings。Atthecornerofthestreet,oneofthebucklesofmyshoesbeingunfastened,Istoppedaninstant,andtheservantwenton,thinkingthatIwasfollowingher。Shereachedthecarriage,gotintoit,and,asIwasgettingnearer,thelightfromalanterndisclosedtomesomethirtysbirri;atthesameinstant,oneofthemgotonthedriver’sboxanddroveoffatfullspeed,carryingofftheservant,whomtheymusthavemistakenforme,andmyloverwhowasinthecoachawaitingme。WhatcouldIdoatsuchafearfulmoment?I
couldnotgobacktomyfather’shouse,andIfollowedmyfirstimpulsewhichbroughtmehere。AndhereIam!Youtellmethatmypresencewillcauseyourruin;ifitisso,tellmewhattodo;I
feelIamdying;butfindsomeexpedientandIamreadytodoanything,eventolaymylifedown,ratherthanbethecauseofyourruin。\"
Butsheweptmorebitterlythanever。
HerpositionwassosadthatIthoughtitworseeventhanmine,althoughIcouldalmostfancyIsawruinbeforemedespitemyinnocence。
\"Letme,\"Isaid,\"conductyoutoyourfather;Ifeelsureofobtainingyourpardon。\"
Butmyproposalonlyenhancedherfears。
\"Iamlost,\"sheexclaimed;\"Iknowmyfather。Ah!reverendsir,turnmeoutintothestreet,andabandonmetomymiserablefate。\"
NodoubtIoughttohavedoneso,andIwouldhavedoneitiftheconsciousnessofwhatwasduetomyowninteresthadbeenstrongerthanmyfeelingofpity。Buthertears!Ihaveoftensaidit,andthoseamongstmyreaderswhohaveexperiencedit,mustbeofthesameopinion;thereisnothingonearthmoreirresistiblethantwobeautifuleyessheddingtears,whentheownerofthoseeyesishandsome,honest,andunhappy。Ifoundmyselfphysicallyunabletosendheraway。
\"Mypoorgirl,\"Isaidatlast,\"whendaylightcomes,andthatwillnotbelong,foritispastmidnight,whatdoyouintendtodo?\"
\"Imustleavethepalace,\"shereplied,sobbing。\"Inthisdisguisenoonecanrecognizeme;IwillleaveRome,andIwillwalkstraightbeforemeuntilIfallontheground,dyingwithgriefandfatigue。\"
Withthesewordsshefellonthefloor。Shewaschoking;Icouldseeherfaceturnblue;Iwasinthegreatestdistress。
Itookoffherneck—band,unlacedherstaysundertheabbe’sdress,I
threwcoldwaterinherface,andIfinallysucceededinbringingherbacktoconsciousness。
Thenightwasextremelycold,andtherewasnofireinmyroom。I
advisedhertogetintomybed,promisingtorespecther。
\"Alas!reverendsir,pityistheonlyfeelingwithwhichIcannowinspireanyone。\"
And,tospeakthetruthIwastoodeeplymoved,and,atthesametime,toofullofanxiety,toleaveroominmeforanydesire。
Havinginducedhertogotobed,andherextremeweaknesspreventingherfromdoinganythingforherself,Iundressedherandputhertobed,thusprovingoncemorethatcompassionwillsilencethemostimperiousrequirementsofnature,inspiteofallthecharmswhichwould,underothercircumstances,excitetothehighestdegreethesensesofaman。Ilaydownnearherinmyclothes,andwokeheratday—break。Herstrengthwassomewhatrestored,shedressedherselfalone,andIleftmyroom,tellinghertokeepquietuntilmyreturn。
Iintendedtoproceedtoherfather’shouse,andtosolicitherpardon,but,havingperceivedsomesuspicious—lookingmenloiteringaboutthepalace,Ithoughtitwisetoaltermymind,andwenttoacoffeehouse。
Isoonascertaniedthataspywaswatchingmymovementsatadistance;butIdidnotappeartonoticehim,andhavingtakensomechocolateandstoredafewbiscuitsinmypocket,Ireturnedtowardsthepalace,apparentlywithoutanyanxietyorhurry,alwaysfollowedbythesameindividual。Ijudgedthatthebargello,havingfailedinhisproject,wasnowreducedtoguesswork,andIwasstrengthenedinthatviewofthecasewhenthegate—keeperofthepalacetoldme,withoutmyaskinganyquestion,asIcamein,thatanarresthadbeenattemptedduringthenight,andhadnotsucceeded。Whilehewasspeaking,oneoftheauditorsoftheVicar—GeneralcalledtoenquirewhenhecouldseetheAbbyGama。Isawthatnotimewastobelost,andwentuptomyroomtodecideuponwhatwastobedone。
IbeganbymakingthepoorgirleatacoupleofbiscuitssoakedinsomeCanarywine,andItookherafterwardstothetopstoryofthepalace,where,leavingherinanotverydecentclosetwhichwasnotusedbyanyone,Itoldhertowaitforme。
Myservantcamesoonafter,andIorderedhimtolockthedoorofmyroomassoonashefinishedcleaningit,andtobringmethekeyattheAbbeGama’sapartment,whereIwasgoing。IfoundGamainconversationwiththeauditorsentbytheVicar—General。Assoonashehaddismissedhim,hecametome,andorderedhisservanttoservethechocolate。Whenwewereleftalonehegavemeanaccountofhisinterviewwiththeauditor,whohadcometoentreathiseminencetogiveorderstoturnoutofhispalaceapersonwhowassupposedtohavetakenrefugeinitaboutmidnight。\"Wemustwait,\"saidtheabbe,\"untilthecardinalisvisible,butIamquitecertainthat,ifanyonehastakenrefugehereunknowntohim,hiseminencewillcompelthatpersontoleavethepalace。\"Wethenspokeoftheweatherandothertriflesuntilmyservantbroughtmykey。JudgingthatIhadatleastanhourtospare,IbethoughtmyselfofaplanwhichalonecouldsaveBarbarafromshameandmisery。
FeelingcertainthatIwasunobserved,IwentuptomypoorprisonerandmadeherwritethefollowingwordsinFrench:
\"Iamanhonestgirl,monsignor,thoughIamdisguisedinthedressofanabbe。Ientreatyoureminencetoallowmetogivemynameonlytoyouandinperson。Ihopethat,promptedbythegreatgoodnessofyoursoul,youreminencewillsavemefromdishonour。\"Igaveherthenecessaryinstructions,astosendingthenotetothecardinal,assuringherthathewouldhaveherbroughttohimassoonashereadit。
\"Whenyouareinhispresence,\"Iadded,\"throwyourselfonyourknees,tellhimeverythingwithoutanyconcealment,exceptasregardsyourhavingpassedthenightinmyroom。Youmustbesurenottomentionthatcircumstance,forthecardinalmustremainincompleteignoranceofmyknowinganythingwhateverofthisintrigue。Tellhimthat,seeingyourlovercarriedoff,yourushedtohispalaceandranupstairsasfarasyoucouldgo,andthatafteramostpainfulnightHeaveninspiredyouwiththeideaofwritingtohimtoentreathispity。Ifeelcertainthat,onewayortheother,hiseminencewillsaveyoufromdishonour,anditcertainlyistheonlychanceyouhaveofbeingunitedtothemanyoulovesodearly。\"
Shepromisedtofollow’myinstructionsfaithfully,and,comingdown,Ihadmyhairdressedandwenttochurch,wherethecardinalsawme。
Ithenwentoutandreturnedonlyfordinner,duringwhichtheonlysubjectofconversationwastheadventureofthenight。Gamaalonesaidnothing,andIfollowedhisexample,butIunderstoodfromallthetalkgoingonroundthetablethatthecardinalhadtakenmypoorBarbaraunderhisprotection。ThatwasallIwanted,andthinkingthatIhadnothingmoretofearIcongratulatedmyself,inpetto,uponmystratagem,whichhad,Ithought,provedamaster—stroke。
Afterdinner,findingmyselfalonewithGama,Iaskedhimwhatwasthemeaningofitall,andthisiswhathetoldme:
\"Afather,whosenameIdonotknowyet,hadrequestedtheassistanceoftheVicar—Generaltopreventhissonfromcarryingoffayounggirl,withwhomheintendedtoleavetheStatesoftheChurch;thepairhadarrangedtomeetatmidnightinthisverysquare,andtheVicar,havingpreviouslyobtainedtheconsentofourcardinal,asI
toldyouyesterday,gaveorderstothebargellotodisposehismeninsuchawayastocatchtheyoungpeopleintheveryactofrunningaway,andtoarrestthem。Theorderswereexecuted,butthe’sbirri’
foundout,whentheyreturnedtothebargello,thattheyhadmetwithonlyahalfsuccess,thewomanwhogotoutofthecarriagewiththeyoungmannotbelongingtothatspecieslikelytobecarriedoff。
Soonafterwardsaspyinformedthebargellothat,attheverymomentthearrestwasexecuted,hehadseenayoungabberunawayveryrapidlyandtakerefugeinthispalace,andthesuspicionimmediatelyarosethatitmightbethemissingyoungladyinthedisguiseofanecclesiastic。ThebargelloreportedtotheVicar—Generalthefailureofhismen,aswellastheaccountgivenbythespy,andthePrelate,sharingthesuspicionofthepolice,senttohiseminence,ourmaster,requestinghimtohavethepersoninquestion,manorwoman,turnedoutofthepalace,unlesssuchpersonsshouldhappentobeknowntohisexcellency,andthereforeabovesuspicion。CardinalAcquavivawasmadeacquaintedwiththesecircumstancesatninethismorningthroughtheauditoryoumetinmyroom,andhepromisedtohavethepersonsentawayunlessshebelongedtohishousehold。
\"Accordingtohispromise,thecardinalorderedthepalacetobesearched,but,inlessthanaquarterofanhour,themajor—domoreceivedorderstostop,andtheonlyreasonforthesenewinstructionsmustbethis:
\"Iamtoldbythemajor—domothatatnineo’clockexactlyaveryhandsome,youngabbe,whomheimmediatelyjudgedtobeagirlindisguise,askedhimtodeliveranotetohiseminence,andthatthecardinal,afterreadingit,haddesiredthesaidabbebebroughttohisapartment,whichhehasnotleftsince。Astheordertostopsearchingthepalacewasgivenimmediatelyaftertheintroductionoftheabbetothecardinal,itiseasyenoughtosupposethatthisecclesiasticisnootherthantheyounggirlmissedbythepolice,whotookrefugeinthepalaceinwhichshemusthavepassedthewholenight。\"
\"Isuppose,\"saidI,\"thathiseminencewillgiveherupto—day,ifnottothebargello,atleasttotheVicar—General。\"
\"No,noteventothePopehimself,\"answeredGama。\"Youhavenotyetarightideaoftheprotectionofourcardinal,andthatprotectionisevidentlygrantedtoher,sincetheyoungpersonisnotonlyinthepalaceofhiseminence,butalsoinhisownapartmentandunderhisownguardianship。\"
Thewholeaffairbeinginitselfveryinteresting,myattentioncouldnotappearextraordinarytoGama,howeversuspicioushemightbenaturally,andIwascertainthathewouldnothavetoldmeanythingifhehadguessedtheshareIhadtakenintheadventure,andtheinterestImusthavefeltinit。
Thenextday,Gamacametomyroomwitharadiantcountenance,andinformedmethattheCardinal—Vicarwasawareoftheravisherbeingmyfriend,andsupposedthatIwaslikewisethefriendofthegirl,asshewasthedaughterofmyFrenchteacher。\"Everybody,\"headded,\"issatisfiedthatyouknewthewholeaffair,anditisnaturaltosuspectthatthepoorgirlspentthenightinyourroom。Iadmireyourprudentreserveduringourconversationofyesterday。YoukeptsowellonyourguardthatIwouldhaveswornyouknewnothingwhateveroftheaffair。\"
\"Anditisthetruth,\"Ianswered,veryseriously;\"Ihaveonlylearnedallthecircumstancesfromyouthismoment。Iknowthegirl,butIhavenotseenherforsixweeks,sinceIgaveupmyFrenchlessons;Iammuchbetteracquaintedwiththeyoungman,butheneverconfidedhisprojecttome。However,peoplemaybelievewhatevertheyplease。Yousaythatitisnaturalforthegirltohavepassedthenightinmyroom,butyouwillnotmindmylaughinginthefaceofthosewhoaccepttheirownsuppositionsasrealities。\"
\"That,mydearfriend,\"saidtheabbe,\"isoneofthevicesoftheRomans;happythosewhocanaffordtolaughatit;butthisslandermaydoyouharm,eveninthemindofourcardinal。\"
AstherewasnoperformanceattheOperathatnight,Iwenttothecardinal’sreception;Ifoundnodifferencetowardsmeeitherinthecardinal’smanners,orinthoseofanyotherperson,andthemarchionesswasevenmoregraciousthanusual。
Afterdinner,onthefollowingday,Gamainformedmethatthecardinalhadsenttheyounggirltoaconventinwhichshewouldbewelltreatedathiseminence’sexpense,andthathewascertainthatshewouldleaveitonlytobecomethewifeoftheyoungdoctor。
\"Ishouldbeveryhappyifitshouldturnoutso,\"Ireplied;\"fortheyarebothmostestimablepeople。\"
Twodaysafterwards,IcalleduponFatherGeorgi,andhetoldme,withanairofsorrow,thatthegreatnewsofthedayinRomewasthefailureoftheattempttocarryoffDalacqua’sdaughter,andthatallthehonouroftheintriguewasgiventome,whichdispleasedhimmuch。ItoldhimwhatIhadalreadytoldGama,andheappearedtobelieveme,butheaddedthatinRomepeopledidnotwanttoknowthingsastheytrulywere,butonlyastheywishedthemtobe。
Itisknown,thatyouhavebeeninthehabitofgoingeverymorningtoDalacqua’shouse;itisknownthattheyoungmanoftencalledonyou;thatisquiteenough。Peopledonotcare,toknowthecircumstanceswhichmightcounteracttheslander,butonlythose,likelytogiveitnewforceforslanderisvastlyrelishedintheHolyCity。Yourinnocencewillnotpreventthewholeadventurebeingbookedtoyouraccount,if,infortyyearstimeyouwereproposedaspopeintheconclave。\"
DuringthefollowingdaysthefataladventurebegantocausememoreannoyancethanIcouldexpress,foreveryonementionedittome,andIcouldseeclearlythatpeoplepretendedtobelievewhatIsaidonlybecausetheydidnotdaretodootherwise。ThemarchionesstoldmejeeringlythattheSignoraDalacquahadcontractedpeculiarobligationstowardsme,butmysorrowwasverygreatwhen,duringthelastdaysofthecarnival,IremarkedthatCardinalAcquaviva’smannerhadbecomeconstrained,althoughIwastheonlypersonwhoobservedthechange。
Thenoisemadebytheaffairwas,however,beginningtosubside,when,inthefirstdaysofLent,thecardinaldesiredmetocometohisprivateroom,andspokeasfollows\"TheaffairofthegirlDalacquaisnowover;itisnolongerspokenof,buttheverdictofthepublicisthatyouandIhaveprofitedbytheclumsinessoftheyoungmanwhointendedtocarryheroff。InrealityIcarelittleforsuchaverdict,for,undersimilarcircumstances,Ishouldalwaysactinasimilarmanner,andIdonotwishtoknowthatwhichnoonecancompelyoutoconfess,andwhich,asamanofhonour,youmustnotadmit。Ifyouhadnopreviousknowledgeoftheintrigue,andhadactuallyturnedthegirloutofyourroom(supposingshedidcometoyou),youwouldhavebeenguiltyofawrongandcowardlyaction,becauseyouwouldhavesealedhermiseryfortheremainderofherdays,anditwouldnothavecausedyoutoescapethesuspicionofbeinganaccomplice,whileatthesametimeitwouldhaveattachedtoyoutheodiumofdastardlytreachery。
NotwithstandingallIhavejustsaid,youcaneasilyimaginethat,inspiteofmyuttercontemptforallgossipingfools,Icannotopenlydefythem。Ithereforefeelmyselfcompelledtoaskyounotonlytoquitmyservice,buteventoleaveRome。Iundertaketosupplyyouwithanhonourablepretextforyourdeparture,soastoinsureyouthecontinuationoftherespectwhichyoumayhavesecuredthroughthemarksofesteemIhavebestoweduponyou。Ipromiseyoutowhisperintheearofanypersonyoumaychoose,andeventoinformeverybody,thatyouaregoingonanimportantmissionwhichIhaveentrustedtoyou。Youhaveonlytonamethecountrywhereyouwanttogo;Ihavefriendseverywhere,andcanrecommendyoutosuchpurposethatyouwillbesuretofindemployment。Mylettersofrecommendationwillbeinmyownhandwriting,andnobodyneedknowwhereyouaregoing。Meetmeto—morrowattheVillaNegroni,andletmeknowwheremylettersaretobeaddressed。Youmustbereadytostartwithinaweek。Believeme,Iamsorrytoloseyou;butthesacrificeisforceduponmebythemostabsurdprejudice。Gonow,anddonotletmewitnessyourgrief。\"
Hespokethelastwordsbecausehesawmyeyesfillingwithtears,andhedidnotgivemetimetoanswer。Beforeleavinghisroom,I
hadthestrengthofmindtocomposemyself,andIputonsuchanairofcheerfulnessthattheAbbeGama,whotookmetohisroomtodrinksomecoffee,complimentedmeuponmyhappylooks。
\"Iamsure,\"hesaid,\"thattheyarecausedbytheconversationyouhavehadwithhiseminence。\"
\"Youareright;butyoudonotknowthesorrowatmyheartwhichI
trynottoshewoutwardly。\"
\"Whatsorrow?\"
\"Iamafraidoffailinginadifficultmissionwhichthecardinalhasentrustedmewiththismorning。IamcompelledtoconcealhowlittleconfidenceIfeelinmyselfinordernottolessenthegoodopinionhiseminenceispleasedtoentertainofme。\"
\"Ifmyadvicecanbeofanyservicetoyou,praydisposeofme;butyouarequiterighttochewyourselfcalmandcheerful。IsitanybusinesstotransactinRome?\"
\"No;itisajourneyIshallhavetoundertakeinaweekortendays。\"
\"Whichway?\"
\"Towardsthewest。\"
\"Oh!Iamnotcurioustoknow。\"
IwentoutaloneandtookawalkintheVillaBorghese,whereIspenttwohourswrappedindarkdespair。IlikedRome,Iwasonthehighroadtofortune,andsuddenlyIfoundmyselfintheabyss,withoutknowingwheretogo,andwithallmyhopesscatteredtothewinds。I
examinedmyconduct,Ijudgedmyselfseverely,Icouldnotfindmyselfguiltyofanycrimesaveoftoomuchkindness,butIperceivedhowrightthegoodFatherGeorgihadbeen。Mydutywasnotonlytotakenopartintheintrigueofthetwolove,butalsotochangemyFrenchteacherthemomentIbeardofit;butthiswaslikecallinginadoctorafterdeathhasstruckthepatient。Besides,youngasI
was,havingnoexperienceyetofmisfortune,andstilllessofthewickednessofsociety,itwasverydifficultformetohavethatprudencewhichamangainsonlybylongintercoursewiththeworld。
\"WhereshallIgo?\"Thiswasthequestionwhichseemedtomeimpossibleofsolution。Ithoughtofitallthroughthenight,andthroughthemorning,butIthoughtinvain;afterRome,IwasindifferentwhereIwentto!
Intheevening,notcaringforanysupper,Ihadgonetomyroom;theAbbeGamacametomewitharequestfromthecardinalnottoacceptanyinvitationtodinnerforthenextday,ashewantedtospeaktome。IthereforewaiteduponhiseminencethenextdayattheVillaNegroni;hewaswalkingwithhissecretary,whomhedismissedthemomenthesawme。Assoonaswewerealone,Igavehimalltheparticularsoftheintrigueofthetwolovers,andIexpressedinthemostvividmannerthesorrowIfeltatleavinghisservice。
\"Ihavenohopeofsuccess,\"Iadded,\"forIamcertainthatFortunewillsmileuponmeonlyaslongasIamnearyoureminence。\"
FornearlyanhourItoldhimallthegriefwithwhichmyheartwasbursting,weepingbitterly;yetIcouldnotmovehimfromhisdecision。Kindly,butfirmlyhepressedmetotellhimtowhatpartofEuropeIwantedtogo,anddespairasmuchasvexationmademenameConstantinople。
\"Constantinople!\"heexclaimed,movingbackasteportwo。
\"Yes,monsignor,Constantinople,\"Irepeated,wipingawaymytears。
Theprelate,amanofgreatwit,butaSpaniardtotheveryback—
bone,afterremainingsilentafewminutes,said,withasmile,\"IamgladyouhavenotchosenIspahan,asIshouldhavefeltratherembarrassed。Whendoyouwishtogo?\"
\"Thisdayweek,asyoureminencehasorderedme。\"
\"DoyouintendtosailfromNaplesorfromVenice?\"
\"FromVenice。\"
\"Iwillgiveyousuchapassportaswillbeneeded,foryouwillfindtwoarmiesinwinter—quartersintheRomagna。ItstrikesmethatyoumaytelleverybodythatIsentyoutoConstantinople,fornobodywillbelieveyou。\"
Thisdiplomaticsuggestionnearlymademesmile。ThecardinaltoldmethatIshoulddinewithhim,andheleftmetojoinhissecretary。
WhenIreturnedtothepalace,thinkingofthechoiceIhadmade,I
saidtomyself,\"EitherIammad,orIamobeyingtheimpulseofamysteriousgeniuswhichsendsmetoConstantinopletoworkoutmyfate。\"Iwasonlyastonishedthatthecardinalhadsoreadilyacceptedmychoice。\"Withoutanydoubt,\"Ithought,\"hedidnotwishmetobelievethathehadboastedofmorethanhecouldachieve,intellingmethathehadfriendseverywhere。ButtowhomcanherecommendmeinConstantinople?Ihavenottheslightestidea,buttoConstantinopleImustgo。\"
Idinedalonewithhiseminence;hemadeagreatshowofpeculiarkindnessandIofgreatsatisfaction,formyself—pride,strongereventhanmysorrow,forbademetoletanyoneguessthatIwasindisgrace。Mydeepestgriefwas,however,toleavethemarchioness,withwhomIwasinlove,andfromwhomIhadnotobtainedanyimportantfavour。
Twodaysafterwards,thecardinalgavemeapassportforVenice,andasealedletteraddressedtoOsmanBonneval,PachaofCaramania,inConstantinople。Therewasnoneedofmysayinganythingtoanyone,but,asthecardinalhadnotforbiddenmetodoit,Ishewedtheaddressonthelettertoallmyacquaintances。
TheChevalierdeLezze,theVenetianAmbassador,gavemealetterforawealthyTurk,averyworthymanwhohadbeenhisfriend;DonGasparandFatherGeorgiaskedmetowritetothem,buttheAbbeGams,laughed,andsaidhewasquitesureIwasnotgoingtoConstantinople。
IwenttotakemyfarewellofDonnaCecilia,whohadjustreceivedaletterfromLucrezia,impartingthenewsthatshewouldsoonbeamother。IalsocalleduponAngeliqueandDonFrancisco,whohadlatelybeenmarriedandhadnotinvitedmetothewedding。
WhenIcalledtotakeCardinalAcquaviva’sfinalinstructionshegavemeapursecontainingonehundredounces,worthsevenhundredsequins。Ihadthreehundredmore,sothatmyfortuneamountedtoonethousandsequins;Ikepttwohundred,andfortherestItookaletterofexchangeuponaRagusanwhowasestablishedinAncona。I
leftRomeinthecoachwithaladygoingtoOurLadyofLoretto,tofulfilavowmadeduringasevereillnessofherdaughter,whoaccompaniedher。Theyoungladywasugly;myjourneywasarathertediousone。
CHAPTERXI
MyShortButRatherTooGayVisitToAncona——Cecilia,Marina,Bellino——theGreekSlaveoftheLazzaretto——BellinoDiscoversHimselfIarrivedinAnconaonthe25thofFebruary,1744,andputupatthebestinn。Pleasedwithmyroom,Itoldminehosttoprepareformeagoodmeatdinner;butheansweredthatduringLentallgoodCatholicseatnothingbutfish。
\"TheHolyFatherhasgrantedmepermissiontoeatmeat。\"
\"Letmeseeyourpermission。\"
\"Hegaveittomebywordofmouth。\"
\"Reverendsir,Iamnotobligedtobelieveyou。\"
\"Youareafool。\"
\"Iammasterinmyownhouse,andIbegyouwillgotosomeotherinn。\"
Suchananswer,coupledtoamostunexpectednoticetoquit,threwmeintoaviolentpassion。Iwasswearing,raving,screaming,whensuddenlyagrave—lookingindividualmadehisappearanceinmyroom,andsaidtome:
\"Sir,youarewrongincallingformeat,wheninAnconafishismuchbetter;youarewronginexpectingthelandlordtobelieveyouonyourbareword;andifyouhaveobtainedthepermissionfromthePope,youhavebeenwronginsolicitingitatyourage;youhavebeenwronginnotaskingforsuchpermissioninwriting;youarewrongincallingthehostafool,becauseitisacomplimentthatnomanislikelytoacceptinhisownhouse;and,finally,youarewronginmakingsuchanuproar。\"
Farfromincreasingmybadtemper,thisindividual,whohadenteredmyroomonlytotreatmetoasermon,mademelaugh。
\"Iwillinglypleadguilty,sir,\"Ianswered,\"toallthecountswhichyouallegeagainstme;butitisraining,itisgettinglate,Iamtiredandhungry,andthereforeyouwilleasilyunderstandthatIdonotfeeldisposedtochangemyquarters。Willyougivemesomesupper,asthelandlordrefusestodoso?\"
\"No,\"hereplied,withgreatcomposure,\"becauseIamagoodCatholicandfast。ButIwillundertaketomakeitallrightforyouwiththelandlord,whowillgiveyouagoodsupper。\"
Thereuponhewentdownstairs,andI,comparingmyhastinesstohiscalm,acknowledgedthemanworthyofteachingmesomelessons。Hesooncameupagain,informedmethatpeacewassigned,andthatI
wouldbeservedimmediately。
\"Willyounottakesupperwithme?\"
\"No,butIwillkeepyoucompany。\"
Iacceptedhisoffer,andtolearnwhohewas,Itoldhimmyname,givingmyselfthetitleofsecretarytoCardinalAcquaviva。
\"MynameisSancioPico,\"hesaid;\"IamaCastilian,andthe’proveditore’ofthearmyofH。C。M。,whichiscommandedbyCountdeGagesundertheordersofthegeneralissimo,theDukeofModem。\"
Myexcellentappetiteastonishedhim,andheenquiredwhetherIhaddined。\"No,\"saidI;andIsawhiscountenanceassumeanairofsatisfaction。
\"Areyounotafraidsuchasupperwillhurtyou?\"hesaid。
\"Onthecontrary,Ihopeitwilldomeagreatdealofgood。\"
\"ThenyouhavedeceivedthePope?\"
\"No,forIdidnottellhimthatIhadnoappetite,butonlythatI
likedmeatbetterthanfish。\"
\"Ifyoufeeldisposedtohearsomegoodmusic,\"hesaidamomentafter,\"followmetothenextroom;theprimadonnaofAnconalivesthere。\"
Thewordsprimadonnainterestedmeatonce,andIfollowedhim。I
saw,sittingbeforeatable,awomanalreadysomewhatadvancedinage,withtwoyounggirlsandtwoboys,butIlookedinvainfortheactress,whomDonSancioPicoatlastpresentedtomeintheshapeofoneofthetwoboys,whowasremarkablyhandsomeandmighthavebeenseventeen。Ithoughthewasa’castrato’who,asisthecustominRome,performedallthepartsofaprimadonna。Themotherpresentedto,meherotherson,likewiseverygood—looking,butmoremanlythanthe’castrato’,althoughyounger。HisnamewasPetronio,and,keepingupthetransformationsofthefamily,hewasthefirstfemaledancerattheopera。Theeldestgirl,whowasalsointroducedtome,wasnamedCecilia,andstudiedmusic;shewastwelveyearsold;theyoungest,calledMarina,wasonlyeleven,andlikeherbrotherPetroniowasconsecratedtotheworshipofTerpsichore。Boththegirlswereverypretty。
ThefamilycamefromBolognaandliveduponthetalentofitsmembers;cheerfulnessandamiabilityreplacedwealthwiththem。
Bellino,suchwasthenameofthecastrato,yieldingtotheentreatiesofDonSancio,rosefromthetable,wenttotheharpiscord,andsangwiththevoiceofanangelandwithdelightfulgrace。TheCastilianlistenedwithhiseyesclosedinanecstasyofenjoyment,butI,farfromclosingmyeyes,gazedintoBellino’s,whichseemedtodartamorouslightningsuponme。IcoulddiscoverinhimsomeofthefeaturesofLucreziaandthegracefulmannerofthemarchioness,andeverythingbetrayedabeautifulwoman,forhisdressconcealedbutimperfectlythemostsplendidbosom。Theconsequencewasthat,inspiteofhishavingbeenintroducedasaman,Ifanciedthattheso—calledBellinowasadisguisedbeauty,and,myimaginationtakingatoncethehighestflight,Ibecamethoroughlyenamoured。
Wespenttwoverypleasanthours,andIreturnedtomyroomaccompaniedbytheCastilian。\"Iintendtoleaveveryearlyto—
morrowmorning,\"hesaid,\"forSinigaglia,withtheAbbeVilmarcati,butIexpecttoreturnforsupperthedayafterto—morrow。\"Iwishedhimahappyjourney,sayingthatwewouldmost’likelymeetontheroad,asIshouldprobablyleaveAnconamyselfonthesameday,afterpayingavisittomybanker。
IwenttobedthinkingofBellinoandoftheimpressionhehadmadeuponme;IwassorrytogoawaywithouthavingprovedtohimthatI
wasnotthedupeofhisdisguise。Accordingly,IwaswellpleasedtoseehimentermyroominthemorningassoonasIhadopenedmydoor。
HecametooffermetheservicesofhisyoungbrotherPetronioduringmystayinAncona,insteadofmyengagingavaletdeplace。I
willinglyagreedtotheproposal,andsentPetroniotogetcoffeeforallthefamily。
IaskedBellinotositonmybedwiththeintentionofmakinglovetohim,andoftreatinghimlikeagirl,butthetwoyoungsistersranintomyroomanddisturbedmyplans。Yetthetrioformedbeforemeaverypleasingsight;theyrepresentednaturalbeautyandartlesscheerfulnessofthreedifferentkinds;unobtrusivefamiliarity,theatricalwit,pleasingplayfulness,andprettyBolognesemannerswhichIwitnessedforthefirsttime;allthiswouldhavesufficedtocheermeifIhadbeendowncast。CeciliaandMarinaweretwosweetrosebuds,which,tobloominalltheirbeauty,requiredonlytheinspirationoflove,andtheywouldcertainlyhavehadthepreferenceoverBellinoifIhadseeninhimonlythemiserableoutcastofmankind,orratherthepitifulvictimofsacerdotalcruelty,for,inspiteoftheiryouth,thetwoamiablegirlsofferedontheirdawningbosomthepreciousimageofwomanhood。
Petroniocamewiththecoffeewhichhepouredout,andIsentsometothemother,whoneverleftherroom。Petroniowasatruemaleharlotbytasteandbyprofession。ThespeciesisnotscareinItaly,wheretheoffenceisnotregardedwiththewildandferociousintoleranceofEnglandandSpain。Ihadgivenhimonesequintopayforthecoffee,andtoldhimtokeepthechange,and,tochewmehisgratitude,hegavemeavoluptuouskisswithhalf—openlips,supposinginmeatastewhichIwasveryfarfromentertaining。I
disabusedhim,buthedidnotseemtheleastashamed。Itoldhimtoorderdinnerforsixpersons,butheremarkedthathewouldorderitonlyforfour,ashehadtokeephisdearmothercompany;shealwaystookherdinnerinbed。Everyonetohistaste,Ithought,andIlethimdoashepleased。
Twominutesafterhehadgone,thelandlordcametomyroomandsaid,\"Reverendsir,thepersonsyouhaveinvitedherehaveeachtheappetiteoftwomenatleast;Igiveyounoticeofit,becauseImustchargeaccordingly。\"\"Allright,\"Ireplied,\"butletushaveagooddinner。\"
WhenIwasdressed,IthoughtIoughttopaymycomplimentstothecompliantmother。Iwenttoherroom,andcongratulatedheruponherchildren。ShethankedmeforthepresentIhadgiventoPetronio,andbegantomakemetheconfidantofherdistress。\"Themanagerofthetheatre,\"shesaid,\"isamiserwhohasgivenusonlyfiftyRomancrownsforthewholecarnival。Wehavespentthemforourliving,and,toreturntoBologna,weshallhavetowalkandbegourway。\"
Herconfidencemovedmypity,soItookagoldquadruplefrommypurseandofferedittoher;sheweptforjoyandgratitude。
\"Ipromiseyouanothergoldquadruple,madam,\"Isaid,\"ifyouwillconfideinmeentirely。ConfessthatBellinoisaprettywomanindisguise。\"
\"Icanassureyouitisnotso,althoughhehastheappearanceofawoman。\"
\"Notonlytheappearance,madam,butthetone,themanners;Iamagoodjudge。\"
\"Nevertheless,heisaboy,forhehashadtobeexaminedbeforehecouldsingonthestagehere。\"
\"Andwhoexaminedhim?\"
\"Mylordbishop’schaplain。\"
\"Achaplain?\"
\"Yes,andyoumaysatisfyyourselfbyenquiringfromhim。\"
\"Theonlywaytoclearmydoubtswouldbetoexaminehimmyself。\"
\"Youmay,ifhehasnoobjection,buttrulyIcannotinterfere,asI
donotknowwhatyourintentionsare。\"
\"Theyarequitenatural。\"
IreturnedtomyroomandsentPetronioforabottleofCypruswine。
Hebroughtthewineandsevensequins,thechangeforthedoubloonI
hadgivenhim。IdividedthembetweenBellino,CeciliaandMarina,andbeggedthetwoyounggirlstoleavemealonewiththeirbrother。
\"Bellino,Iamcertainthatyournaturalconformationisdifferentfrommine;mydear,youareagirl。\"
\"Iamaman,butacastrato;Ihavebeenexamined。\"
\"Allowmetoexamineyoulikewise,andIwillgiveyouadoubloon。\"
\"Icannot,foritisevidentthatyouloveme,andsuchloveiscondemnedbyreligion。\"
\"Youdidnotraisetheseobjectionswiththebishop’schaplain。\"
\"Hewasanelderlypriest,andbesides,heonlyjustglancedatme。\"
\"Iwillknowthetruth,\"saidI,extendingmyhandboldly。
Butherepulsedmeandrosefromhischair。Hisobstinacyvexedme,forIhadalreadyspentfifteenorsixteensequinstosatisfymycuriosity。
Ibeganmydinnerwithaverybadhumour,buttheexcellentappetiteofmyprettyguestsbroughtmeround,andIsoonthoughtthat,afterall,cheerfulnesswasbetterthansulking,andIresolvedtomakeupformydisappointmentwiththetwocharmingsisters,whoseemedwelldisposedtoenjoyafrolic。
Ibeganbydistributingafewinnocentkissesrightandleft,asI
satbetweenthemnearagoodfire,eatingchestnutswhichwewettedwithCypruswine。Butverysoonmygreedyhandstouchedeverypartwhichmylipscouldnotkiss,andCecilia,aswellasMarina,delightedinthegame。SeeingthatBellinowassmiling,Ikissedhimlikewise,andhishalf—openruffleattractingmyhand,Iventuredandwentinwithoutresistance。ThechiselofPraxiteleshadnevercarvedafinerbosom!
\"Oh!thisisenough,\"Iexclaimed;\"Icannolongerdoubtthatyouareabeautifully—formedwoman!\"
\"Itis,\"hereplied,\"thedefectofallcastrati。\"
No,itistheperfectionofallhandsomewomen。Bellino,believeme,Iamenoughofagoodjudgetodistinguishbetweenthedeformedbreastofacastrato,andthatofabeautifulwoman;andyouralabasterbosombelongstoayoungbeautyofseventeensummers。\"
Whodoesnotknowthatlove,inflamedbyallthatcanexciteit,neverstopsinyoungpeopleuntilitissatisfied,andthatonefavourgrantedkindlesthewishforagreaterone?Ihadbegunwell,Itriedtogofurtherandtosmotherwithburningkissesthatwhichmyhandwaspressingsoardently,butthefalseBellino,asifhehadonlyjustbeenawareoftheillicitpleasureIwasenjoying,roseandranaway。Angerincreasedinmetheardouroflove,andfeelingthenecessityofcalmingmyselfeitherbysatisfyingmyardentdesiresorbyevaporatingthem,IbeggedCecilia,Bellino’spupil,tosingafewNeapolitanairs。
Ithenwentouttocalluponthebanker,fromwhomItookaletterofexchangeatsightuponBologna,fortheamountIhadtoreceivefromhim,andonmyreturn,afteralightsupperwiththetwoyoungsisters,Ipreparedtogotobed,havingpreviouslyinstructedPetroniotoorderacarriageforthemorning。
IwasjustlockingmydoorwhenCecilia,halfundressed,cameintosaythatBellinobeggedmetotakehimtoRimini,wherehewasengagedtosinginanoperatobeperformedafterEaster。
\"Goandtellhim,mydearlittleseraph,thatIamreadytodowhathewishes,ifhewillonlygrantmeinyourpresencewhatIdesire;I
wanttoknowforacertaintywhetherheisamanorawoman。\"
Sheleftmeandreturnedsoon,sayingthatBellinohadgonetobed,butthatifIwouldpostponemydepartureforonedayonlyhepromisedtosatisfymeonthemorrow。
\"Tellmethetruth,Cecilia,andIwillgiveyousixsequins。\"
\"Icannotearnthem,forIhaveneverseenhimnaked,andIcannotsweartohisbeingagirl。Buthemustbeaman,otherwisehewouldnothavebeenallowedtoperformhere。\"