第3章
加入书架 A- A+
点击下载App,搜索"Saint’s Progress",免费读到尾

  \"Ifhedies,Dad——\"shewhispered。

  \"HewillhavediedfortheCountry,mylove,asmuchaseveroursoldiersdo。\"

  \"Iknow;butthat’snocomfort。I’vebeenwatchinghereallday;

  I’vebeenthinking;menwillbejustasbrutalafterwards——morebrutal。Theworldwillgoonthesame。\"

  \"Wemusthopenot。Shallwepray,Gracie?\"

  Gratianshookherhead。

  \"IfIcouldbelievethattheworld——ifIcouldbelieveanything!

  I’velostthepower,Dad;Idon’tevenbelieveinafuturelife。IfGeorgedies,weshallnevermeetagain。\"

  Piersonstaredatherwithoutaword。

  Gratianwenton:\"Thelasttimewetalked,IwasangrywithGeorgebecausehelaughedatmybelief;nowthatIreallywantbelief,I

  feelthathewasright。\"

  Piersonsaidtremulously:

  \"No,no,mydear;it’sonlythatyou’reoverwrought。GodinHismercywillgiveyoubackbelief。\"

  \"ThereisnoGod,Dad\"

  \"Mydarlingchild,whatareyousaying?\"

  \"NoGodwhocanhelpus;Ifeelit。IftherewereanyGodwhocouldtakepartinourlives,alteranythingwithoutourwill,kneworcaredwhatwedid——Hewouldn’tlettheworldgoonasitdoes。\"

  \"But,mydear,Hispurposesareinscrutable。WedarenotsayHeshouldnotdothisorthat,ortrytofathomtowhatendsHeisworking。\"

  \"ThenHe’snogoodtous。It’sthesameasifHedidn’texist。WhyshouldIprayforGeorge’slifetoOnewhoseendsarejustHisown?

  IknowGeorgeoughtn’ttodie。Ifthere’saGodwhocanhelp,itwillbeawickedshameifGeorgedies;ifthere’saGodwhocanhelp,it’sawickedshamewhenbabiesdie,andallthesemillionsofpoorboys。Iwouldratherthinkthere’snoGodthanahelplessorawickedGod——\"

  Herfatherhadsuddenlythrownuphishandstohisears。Shemovedcloser,andputherarmroundhim。

  \"Daddear,I’msorry。Ididn’tmeantohurtyou。

  Piersonpressedherfacedowntohisshoulder;andsaidinadullvoice:

  \"Whatdoyouthinkwouldhavehappenedtome,Gracie,ifIhadlostbeliefwhenyourmotherdied?Ihaveneverlostbelief。PrayGodI

  nevershall!\"

  Gratianmurmured:

  \"GeorgewouldnotwishmetopretendIbelieve——hewouldwantmetobehonest。IfI’mnothonest,Ishan’tdeservethatheshouldlive。

  Idon’tbelieve,andIcan’tpray。\"

  \"Mydarling,you’reovertired。\"

  \"No,Dad。\"Sheraisedherheadfromhisshoulderand,claspingherhandsroundherknees,lookedstraightbeforeher。\"Wecanonlyhelpourselves;andIcanonlybearitifIrebel。\"

  Piersonsatwithtremblinglips,feelingthatnothinghecouldsaywouldtouchherjustthen。Thesickman’sfacewashardlyvisiblenowinthetwilight,andGratianwentovertohisbed。Shestoodlookingdownathimalongtime。

  \"Goandrest,Dad;thedoctor’scomingagainateleven。I’llcallyouifIwantanything。Ishallliedownalittle,besidehim。\"

  Piersonkissedher,andwentout。Tolietherebesidehimwouldbethegreatestcomfortshecouldget。Hewenttothebarenarrowlittleroomhehadoccupiedeversincehiswifedied;and,takingoffhisboots,walkedupanddown,withafeelingofalmostcrushingloneliness。Bothhisdaughtersinsuchtrouble,andheofnousetothem!ItwasasifLifewerepushinghimutterlyaside!Hefeltconfused,helpless,bewildered。SurelyifGratianlovedGeorge,shehadnotleftGod’sside,whatevershemightsay。Then,consciousoftheprofoundheresyofthisthought,hestoodstillattheopenwindow。

  Earthlylove——heavenlylove;wasthereanyanalogybetweenthem?

  >FromtheSquareGardenstheindifferentwhisperoftheleavesanswered;andanewsvendoratthefarend,bawlinghisnightlytaleofmurder。

  3

  GeorgeLairdpassedthecrisisofhisillnessthatnight,andinthemorningwaspronouncedoutofdanger。Hehadasplendidconstitution,and——Scotsmanonhisfather’sside——afightingcharacter。Hecamebacktolifeveryweak,butavidofrecovery;andhisfirstwordswere:\"I’vebeenhangingovertheedge,Gracie!\"

  Averyhighcliff,andhisbodyhalfover,balancing;oneinch,themerestfractionofaninchmore,andoverhewouldhavegone。Deucedrumsensation!Butnotsohorribleasitwouldhavebeeninreallife。Withtheslipofthatlastinchhefelthewouldhavepassedatonceintooblivion,withoutthelonghorrorofafall。Sothiswaswhatitwasforallthepoorfellowshehadseenslipinthepasttwoyears!Mercifully,attheend,onewasnotaliveenoughtobeconsciousofwhatonewasleaving,notaliveenougheventocare。Ifhehadbeenabletotakeinthepresenceofhisyoungwife,abletorealisethathewaslookingatherface,touchingherforthelasttime——itwouldhavebeenhell;ifhehadbeenuptorealisingsunlight,moonlight,thesoundoftheworld’slifeoutside,thesoftnessofthebedhelayon——itwouldhavemeantthemostpoignantanguishofdefraudment。Lifewasararegoodthing,andtobesquashedoutofitwithyourpowersatfull,awretchedmistakeinNature’sarrangements,awretchedvillainyonthepartofMan——forhisowndeath,likeallthoseothermillionsofprematuredeaths,wouldhavebeenduetotheidiocyandbrutalityofmen!Hecouldsmilenow,withGratianlookingdownathim,buttheexperiencehadheapedfuelonafirewhichhadalwayssmoulderedinhisdoctor’ssoulagainstthathalfemancipatedbreedofapes,thehumanrace。

  Well,nowhewouldgetafewdaysofffromhisdeath—carnival!Andhelay,feastinghisreturningsensesonhiswife。Shemadeaprettynurse,andhispractisedeyejudgedheragoodone——firmandquiet。

  GeorgeLairdwasthirty。AttheopeningofthewarhewasinanEast—Endpractice,andhadvolunteeredatonceforservicewiththeArmy。Forthefirstninemonthshehadbeenrightupinthethickofit。Apoisonedarm;ratherthantheauthorities,hadsenthimhome。

  DuringthatleavehemarriedGratian。HehadknownthePiersonssometime;and,madeconsciousoftheinstabilityoflife,hadresolvedtomarryheratthefirstchancehegot。Forhisfather—in—lawhehadrespectandliking,evermixedwithwhatwasnotquitecontemptandnotquitepity。Theblendofauthoritywithhumility,clericwithdreamer,monkwithartist,mysticwithmanofaction,inPierson,excitedinhimaninterested,butoftenirritated,wonder。Hesawthingssodifferentlyhimself,andhadlittleofthehumorouscuriositywhichenjoyswhatisstrangesimplybecauseitisstrange。

  Theycouldnevertalktogetherwithoutsoonreachingapointwhenhewantedtosay:\"Ifwe’renottotrustourreasonandoursensesforwhatthey’reworth,sir——willyoukindlytellmewhatwearetotrust?Howcanweexertthemtotheutmostinsomematters,andinotherssuddenlyturnourbacksonthem?\"Once,inoneoftheirdiscussions,whichoftenborderedonacrimony,hehadexpoundedhimselfatlength。

  \"Igrant,\"hehadsaid,\"thatthere’sagreatultimateMystery,thatweshallneverknowanythingforcertainabouttheoriginoflifeandtheprincipleoftheUniverse;butwhyshouldwesuddenlyshutupourenquiringapparatusanddenyalltheevidenceofourreason——say,aboutthestoryofChrist,orthequestionofafuturelife,orourmoralcode?Ifyouwantmetoenteratempleoflittlemysteries,leavingmyreasonandsensesbehind——asaMohammedanleaveshisshoes——itwon’tdotosaytomesimply:’Thereitis!Enter!’Youmustshowmethedoor;andyoucan’t!AndI’lltellyouwhy,sir。

  Becauseinyourbrainthere’salittletwistwhichisnotinmine,orthelackofalittletwistwhichisinmine。Nothingmorethanthatdividesusintothetwomainspeciesofmankind,oneofwhomworships,andoneofwhomdoesn’t。Oh,yes!Iknow;youwon’tadmitthat,becauseitmakesyourreligionsnaturalinsteadofwhatyoucallsupernatural。ButIassureyouthere’snothingmoretoit。

  Youreyeslookuportheylookdown——theyneverlookstraightbeforethem。Well,minedojusttheopposite。\"

  ThatdayPiersonhadbeenfeelingverytired,andthoughtomeetthisattackwasvital,hehadbeenunabletomeetit。Hisbrainhadstammered。Hehadturnedalittleaway,leaninghischeekonhishand,asiftocoverthatmomentarybreakinhisdefences。Somedayslaterhehadsaid:

  \"Iamablenowtoansweryourquestions,George。IthinkIcanmakeyouunderstand。\"

  Lairdhadanswered:\"Allright,sir;goahead。\"

  \"Youbeginbyassumingthatthehumanreasonisthefinaltestofallthings。Whatrighthaveyoutoassumethat?Supposeyouwereanant。Youwouldtakeyourant’sreasonasthefinaltest,wouldn’tyou?Wouldthatbethetruth?\"Andasmilehadfixeditselfonhislipsabovehislittlegravebeard。

  GeorgeLairdalsohadsmiled。

  \"Thatseemsagoodpoint,sir,\"hesaid,\"untilyourecognisethatI

  don’ttake,thehumanreasonasfinaltestinanyabsolutesense。I

  onlysayit’sthehighesttestwecanapply;andthat,behindthattestallisquitedarkandunknowable。\"

  \"Revelation,then,meansnothingtoyou?\"

  \"Nothing,sir。\"

  \"Idon’tthinkwecanusefullygoon,George。\"

  \"Idon’tthinkwecan,sir。Intalkingwithyou,Ialwaysfeellikefightingamanwithonehandtiedbehindhisback。\"

  \"AndI,perhaps,feelthatIamarguingwithonewhowasblindfrombirth。\"

  Forallthat,theyhadoftenarguedsince;butneverwithoutthosepeculiarsmilescomingontheirfaces。Still,theyrespectedeachother,andPiersonhadnotopposedhisdaughter’smarriagetothisheretic,whomheknewtobeanhonestandtrustworthyman。IthadtakenplacebeforeLaird’sarmwaswell,andthetwohadsnatchedamonth’shoneymoonbeforehewentbacktoFrance,andshetoherhospitalinManchester。Sincethen,justoneFebruaryfortnightbytheseahadbeenalltheirtimetogether……

  Intheafternoonhehadaskedforbeeftea,and,havingdrunkacup,said:

  \"I’vegotsomethingtotellyourfather。\"

  Butwarnedbythepallorofhissmilinglips,Gratiananswered:

  \"Tellmefirst,George。\"

  \"Ourlasttalk,Gracie;well——there’snothing——ontheotherside。I

  lookedover;it’sasblackasyourhat。\"

  Gratianshivered。

  \"Iknow。Whileyouwerelyingherelastnight,Itoldfather。\"

  Hesqueezedherhand,andsaid:\"Ialsowanttotellhim。\"

  \"Dadwillsaythemotiveforlifeisgone。\"

  \"Isayitleapsoutallthemore,Gracie。Whatamesswemakeofit——weangel—apes!Whenshallwebemen,Iwonder?YouandI,Gracie,willfightforadecentlifeforeverybody。Nohands—uppingaboutthat!Benddown!It’sgoodtotouchyouagain;everything’sgood。

  I’mgoingtohaveasleep……\"

  Afterthereliefofthedoctor’sreportintheearlymorningPiersonhadgonethroughahardstruggle。WhatshouldhewiretoNoel?Helongedtogetherbackhome,awayfromtemptationtotheburningindiscretionofthismarriage。ButoughthetosuppressreferencetoGeorge’sprogress?Wouldthatbehonest?Atlasthesentthistelegram:\"Georgeoutofdangerbutveryweak。Comeup。\"

  Bytheafternoonpost,however,hereceivedaletterfromThirza:

  \"IhavehadtwolongtalkswithNoelandCyril。Itisimpossibletobudgethem。AndIreallythink,dearEdward,thatitwillbeamistaketoopposeitrigidly。Hemaynotgooutassoonaswethink。

  Howwoulditbetoconsenttotheirhavingbannspublished?——thatwouldmeananotherthreeweeksanyway,andinabsencefromeachothertheymightbeinfluencedtoputitoff。I’mafraidthisistheonlychance,forifyousimplyforbidit,Ifeeltheywillrunoffandgetmarriedsomewhereataregistrar’s。\"

  PiersontookthisletteroutwithhimintotheSquareGarden,forpainfulcogitation。Nomancanholdapositionofspiritualauthorityforlongyearswithoutdevelopingthehabitofjudgment。

  HejudgedNoel’sconducttobeheadlongandundisciplined,andtheveinofstubbornnessinhischaracterfortifiedthefatherandthepriestwithinhim。Thirzadisappointedhim;shedidnotseemtoseetheirretrievablegravityofthishastymarriage。Sheseemedtolookonitassomethingmuchlighterthanitwas,toconsiderthatitmightbelefttoChance,andthatifChanceturnedoutunfavourable,therewouldstillbeawayout。Tohimtherewouldbenowayout。

  Helookedupatthesky,asifforinspiration。Itwassuchabeautifulday,andsobittertohurthischild,evenforhergood!

  Whatwouldhermotherhaveadvised?SurelyAgneshadfeltatleastasdeeplyashimselftheuttersolemnityofmarriage!And,sittingthereinthesunlight,hepainfullyhardenedhisheart。Hemustdowhathethoughtright,nomatterwhattheconsequences。Sohewentinandwrotethathecouldnotagree,andwishedNoeltocomebackhomeatonce。

  V

  1

  Butonthesameafternoon,justaboutthathour,Noelwassittingontheriver—bankwithherarmsfoldedtightacrossherchest,andbyhersideCyrilMorland,withdespairinhisface,wastwistingatelegram\"Rejointonight。Regimentleavesto—morrow。\"

  Whatconsolationthatamillionsuchtelegramshadbeenreadandsorrowedovertheselasttwoyears!Whatcomfortthatthesunwasdailyblotteddimforhundredsofbrighteyes;thejoyoflifepouredoutandsoppedupbythesandsofdesolation!

  \"Howlonghavewegot,Cyril?\"

  \"I’veengagedacarfromtheInn,soIneedn’tleavetillmidnight。

  I’vepackedalready,tohavemoretime。\"

  \"Let’shaveittoourselves,then。Let’sgooffsomewhere。I’vegotsomechocolate。\"

  Morlandansweredmiserably:

  \"Icansendthecaruphereformythings,andhaveitpickmeupattheInn,ifyou’llsaygoodbyetothemforme,afterwards。We’llwalkdowntheline,thenweshan’tmeetanyone。\"

  Andinthebrightsunlighttheywalkedhandinhandoneachsideofashiningrail。AboutsixtheyreachedtheAbbey。

  \"Let’sgetaboat,\"saidNoel。\"Wecancomebackherewhenit’smoonlight。Iknowawayofgettingin,afterthegate’sshut。\"

  Theyhiredaboat,rowedovertothefarbank,andsatonthesternseat,sidebysideunderthetreeswherethewaterwasstaineddeepgreenbythehighwoods。Iftheytalked,itwasbutawordoflovenowandthen,ortodraweachother’sattentiontoafish,abird,adragon—fly。Whatusemakingplans——forloversthechieftheme?

  Longingparalysedtheirbrains。Theycoulddonothingbutpressclosetoeachother,theirhandsenlaced,theirlipsmeetingnowandthen。OnNoel’sfacewasastrangefixedstillness,asifshewerewaiting——expecting!Theyatetheirchocolates。Thesunset,dewbegantofall;theriverchanged,andgrewwhiter;theskypaledtothecolourofanamethyst;shadowslengthened,dissolvedslowly。Itwaspastninealready;awater—ratcameout,awhiteowlflewovertheriver,towardstheAbbey。Themoonhadcomeup,butshednolightasyet。Theysawnobeautyinallthis——tooyoung,toopassionate,toounhappy。

  Noelsaid:\"Whenshe’soverthosetrees,Cyril,let’sgo。It’llbehalfdark。\"

  Theywaited,watchingthemoon,whichcreptwithinfiniteslownessupandup,brighteningeversolittleeveryminute。

  \"Now!\"saidNoel。AndMorlandrowedacross。

  Theylefttheboat,andsheledthewaypastanemptycottage,toashedwitharoofslopinguptotheAbbey’slowouterwall。

  \"Wecangetoverhere,\"shewhispered。

  Theyclamberedup,andover,toapieceofgrassycourtyard,andpassedontoaninnercourt,undertheblackshadowofthehighwalls。

  \"What’sthetime?\"saidNoel。

  \"Half—pastten。\"

  \"Already!Let’ssithereinthedark,andwatchforthemoon。\"

  Theysatdownclosetogether。Noel’sfacestillhadonitthatstrangelookofwaiting;andMorlandsatobedient,withhishandonherheart,andhisownheartbeatingalmosttosuffocation。Theysat,stillasmice,andthemooncreptup。Itlaidafirstvaguegreynessonthehighwall,whichspreadslowlydown,andbrightenedtillthelichenandthegrassesuptherewerevisible;thencrepton,silveringthedarkabovetheirheads。Noelpulledhissleeve,andwhispered:\"See!\"Therecamethewhiteowl,softasasnowflake,driftingacrossinthatunearthlylight,asifflyingtothemoon。

  Andjustthenthetopofthemoonitselflookedoverthewall,ashavingofsilverygold。Itgrew,becameabrightspreadfan,thenbalancedthere,fullandround,thecolourofpalehoney。

  \"Ours!\"Noelwhispered。

  2

  >FromthesideoftheroadNoellistenedtillthesoundofthecarwaslostinthefoldsofthevalley。Shedidnotcry,butpassedherhandsoverherface,andbegantowalkhome,keepingtotheshadowofthetrees。Howmanyyearshadbeenaddedtoherageinthosesixhourssincethetelegramcame!Severaltimesinthatmileandahalfshesteppedintoapatchofbrightermoonlight,totakeoutandkissalittlephotograph,thenslipitbacknextherheart,heedlessthatsowarmaplacemustdestroyanyeffigy。Shefeltnotthefaintestcompunctionfortherecklessnessofherlove——itwasheronlycomfortagainstthecrushinglonelinessofthenight。Itkeptherup,madeherwalkonwithasortofpride,asifshehadgotthebestofFate。

  Hewashersforevernow,inspiteofanythingthatcouldbedone。

  Shedidnoteventhinkwhatshewouldsaywhenshegotin。Shecametotheavenue,andpassedupitstillinasortofdream。Herunclewasstandingbeforetheporch;shecouldhearhismutterings。Shemovedoutoftheshadowofthetrees,wentstraightuptohim,and,lookinginhisperturbedface,saidcalmly:

  \"Cyrilaskedmetosaygood—byetoyouall,Uncle。Goodnight!\"

  \"But,Isay,Nollielookhereyou!\"

  Shehadpassedon。Shewentuptoherroom。There,bythedoor,herauntwasstanding,andwouldhavekissedher。Shedrewback:

  \"No,Auntie。Notto—night!\"And,slippingby,shelockedherdoor。

  BobandThirzaPierson,meetingintheirownroom,lookedateachotheraskance。Reliefattheirniece’ssafereturnwasconfusedbyotheremotions。BobPiersonexpressedhisfirst:

  \"Phew!Iwasbeginningtothinkweshouldwhavetodragtheriver。

  Whatgirlsarecomingto!\"

  \"It’sthewar,Bob。\"

  \"Ididn’tlikeherface,oldgirl。Idon’tknowwhatitwas,butI

  didn’tlikeherface。\"

  NeitherdidThirza,butshewouldnotadmitit,andencourageBobtotakeittoheart。Hetookthingssohardly,andwithsuchanoise!

  Sheonlysaid:\"Pooryoungthings!IsupposeitwillbearelieftoEdward!\"

  \"IloveNollie!\"saidBobPiersonsuddenly。\"She’sanaffectionatecreature。D—nit,I’msorryaboutthis。It’snotsobadforyoungMorland;he’sgottheexcitement——thoughIshouldn’tliketobeleavingNollie,ifIwereyoungagain。ThankGod,neitherofourboysisengaged。ByGeorge!whenIthinkofthemoutthere,andmyselfhere,Ifeelasifthetopofmyheadwouldcomeoff。Andthosepoliticianchapsspoutingawayineverycountry——howtheycanhavethecheek!\"

  Thirzalookedathimanxiously。

  \"Andnodinner!\"hesaidsuddenly。\"Whatd’youthinkthey’vebeendoingwiththemselves?\"

  \"Holdingeachother’shands,poordears!D’youknowwhattimeitis,Bob?Nearlyoneo’clock。\"

  \"Well,allIcansayis,I’vehadawretchedevening。Gettobed,oldgirl。You’llbefitfornothing。\"

  Hewassoonasleep,butThirzalayawake,notexactlyworrying,forthatwasnothernature,butseeingNoel’sface,pale,languid,passionate,possessedbymemory。

  VI

  1

  Noelreachedherfather’shousenextdaylateintheafternoon。

  Therewasaletterinthehallforher。Shetoreitopen,andread:

  \"MYDARLINGLOVE,\"Igotbackallright,andampostingthisatoncetotellyouweshallpassthroughLondon,andgofromCharingCross,Iexpectaboutnineo’clockto—night。Ishalllookoutforyou,there,incaseyouareupintime。EveryminuteIthinkofyou,andoflastnight。Oh!

  Noel!

  \"Yourdevotedlover,\"C。\"

  Shelookedatthewrist—watchwhich,likeeveryotherlittlepatriot,shepossessed。Pastseven!Ifshewaited,Gratianorherfatherwouldseizeonher。

  \"Takemythingsup,Dinah。I’vegotaheadachefromtravelling;I’mgoingtowalkitoff。PerhapsIshan’tbeintillpastnineorso。

  Givemylovetothemall。\"

  \"Oh,MissNoel,youcan’t,——\"

  ButNoelwasgone。ShewalkedtowardsCharingCross;and,tokilltime,wentintoarestaurantandhadthatsimplerepast,coffeeandabun,whichthoseinlovewouldalwaystakeifSocietydidnotforciblyfeedthemonotherthings。Foodwasridiculoustoher。Shesatthereinthemidstofaperfecthiveofcreatureseatinghideously。Theplacewasshapedlikeamodernprison,havingtiersofgalleryroundanopenspace,andintheairwasthesmellofviandsandtheclatterofplatesandthemusicofaband。Meninkhakieverywhere,andNoelglancedfromformtoformtoseeifbychanceonemightbethatwhichrepresented,forher,LifeandtheBritishArmy。Athalf—pasteightshewentoutandmadeherway:

  throughthecrowd,stillmechanicallysearching\"khaki\"forwhatshewanted;anditwasperhapsfortunatethattherewasaboutherfaceandwalksomethingwhichtouchedpeople。Atthestationshewentuptoanoldporter,and,puttingashillingintohisastonishedhand,askedhimtofindoutforherwhenceMorland’sregimentwouldstart。

  Hecamebackpresently,andsaid:

  \"Comewithme,miss。\"

  Noelwent。Hewasratherlame,hadgreywhiskers,andaghostlythinresemblancetoheruncleBob,whichperhapshadbeenthereasonwhyshehadchosenhim。64

  \"Brothergoin’out,miss?\"

  Noelnodded。

  \"Ah!It’sacroolwar。Ishan’tbesorrywhenit’sover。Goin’outandcomin’in,weseesomesadsights’ere。Wonderfulspiritthey’vegot,too。IneverlookattheclocknowbutwhatIthink:’Thereyougo,slow—coach!I’dliketosetyouontothedaytheboyscomeback!’WhenIputsabagin:’Anotherfor’ell\"Ithinks。Andsoitis,miss,fromallIcan’ear。I’vegotasonouttheremeself。

  It’s’erethey’llcomealong。Youstandquietandkeepalookout,andyou’llgetafewminuteswithhimwhenhe’sdonewith’ismen。I

  wouldn’tmove,ifIwereyou;he’llcometoyou,allright——can’tmissyou,there。\"And,lookingatherface,hethought:’Astonishin’

  whataloto’brothersgo。Wotoh!Poorlittlemissy!Alittlelady,too。Wonderfulcollectedsheis。It’s’ard!’Andtryingtofindsomethingconsolingtosay,hemumbledout:\"Youcouldn’tbeinabetterplaceforseen’imoff。Goodnight,miss;anythingelseI

  candoforyou?\"

  \"No,thankyou;you’reverykind。\"

  Helookedbackonceortwiceatherblue—cladfigurestandingverystill。Hehadleftheragainstalittleoasisofpiled—upemptymilk—cans,fardowntheplatformwhereafewciviliansinsimilarcasewerescattered。Thetrainwaywasemptyasyet。Inthegreyimmensityofthestationandtheturmoilofitsnoise,shefeltneitherlonelynorconsciousofotherswaiting;tooabsorbedintheonethoughtofseeinghimandtouchinghimagain。Theemptytrainbeganbackingin,stopped,andtelescopedwithaseriesoflittleclatteringbangs,backedonagain,andsubsidedtorest。Noelturnedhereyestowardsthestationarchways。Alreadyshefelttremulous,asthoughtheregimentweresendingbeforeitthevibrationofitsmarch。

  Shehadnotasyetseenatroop—trainstart,andvagueimagesofbravearray,ofaflagfluttering,andthestirofdrums,besether。

  Suddenlyshesawabrownswirlingmassdownthereattheveryedge,outofwhichathinbrowntrickleemergedtowardsher;nosoundofmusic,nowavedflag。Shehadalongingtorushdowntothebarrier,butrememberingthewordsoftheporter,stayedwhereshewas,withherhandstightlysqueezedtogether。Thetricklebecameastream,aflood,theheadofwhichbegantoreachher。Withaturbulenceofvoices,sunburntmen,burdeneduptothenose,passed,withriflesjuttingatallangles;shestrainedhereyes,staringintothatstreamasonemightintoawalkingwood,toisolateasingletree。

  Herheadreeledwiththestrainofit,andtheefforttocatchhisvoiceamongthehubbubofallthosecheery,common,happy—go—luckysounds。Somewhosawhercluckedtheirtongues,somewentbysilent,othersseemedtoscanherasthoughshemightbewhattheywerelookingfor。Andeverthestreamandthehubbubmeltedintothetrain,andyetcamepouringon。Andstillshewaitedmotionless,withanawfulfear。Howcouldheeverfindher,orshehim?Thenshesawthatothersofthosewaitinghadfoundtheirmen。Andthelongingtorushupanddowntheplatformalmostovercameher;butstillshewaited。Andsuddenlyshesawhimwithtwootherofficerboys,closetothecarriages,comingslowlydowntowardsher。Shestoodwithhereyesfixedonhisface;theypassed,andshenearlycriedout。Thenheturned,brokeawayfromtheothertwo,andcamestraighttoher。Hehadseenherbeforeshehadseenhim。Hewasveryflushed,hadalittlefixedfrownbetweenhisblueeyesandasetjaw。Theystoodlookingateachother,theirhandshardgripped;

  alltheemotionoflastnightwellingupwithinthem,sothattospeakwouldhavebeentobreakdown。Themilk—cansformedakindofshelter,andtheystoodsoclosetogetherthatnonecouldseetheirfaces。Noelwasthefirsttomasterherpowerofspeech;herwordscameout,daintyasever,throughtremblinglips:

  \"Writetomeasmuchaseveryoucan,Cyril。I’mgoingtobeanurseatonce。Andthefirstleaveyouget,Ishallcometoyou——don’tforget。\"

  \"Forget!Movealittleback,darling;theycan’tseeushere。Kissme!\"Shemovedback,thrustherfaceforwardsothatheneednotstoop,andputherlipsuptohis。Then,feelingthatshemightswoonandfalloveramongthecans,shewithdrewhermouth,leavingherforeheadagainsthislips。Hemurmured:

  \"Wasitallrightwhenyougotinlastnight?\"

  \"Yes;Isaidgood—byeforyou。\"

  \"Oh!Noel——I’vebeenafraid——Ioughtn’t——Ioughtn’t——\"

  \"Yes,yes;nothingcantakeyoufrommenow。\"

  \"Youhavegotpluck。Morethan!\"

  Alongwhistlesounded。Morlandgraspedherhandsconvulsively:

  \"Good—bye,mylittlewife!Don’tfret。Goodbye!Imustgo。Godblessyou,Noel!\"

  \"Iloveyou。\"

  Theylookedateachother,justanothermoment,thenshetookherhandsfromhisandstoodbackintheshadowofthemilk—cans,rigid,followinghimwithhereyestillhewaslostinthetrain。

点击下载App,搜索"Saint’s Progress",免费读到尾