\"Yes，youwill！\"persistedJo。\"You’llgetoverthisafterawhile，andfindsomelovelyaccomplishedgirl，whowilladoreyou，andmakeafinemistressforyourfinehouse。Ishouldn’t。I’mhomelyandawkwardandoddandold，andyou’dbeashamedofme，andweshouldquarrel——wecan’thelpitevennow，yousee—andIshouldn’tlikeelegantsocietyandyouwould，andyou’dhatemyscribbling，andIcouldn’tgetonwithoutit，andweshouldbeunhappy，andwishwehadn’tdoneit，andeverythingwouldbehorrid！\"
\"Anythingmore？\"askedLaurie，findingithardtolistenpatientlytothispropheticburst。
\"Nothingmore，exceptthatIdon’tbelieveIshallevermarry。I’mhappyasIam，andlovemylibertytoowelltobeinahurrytogiveitupforanymortalman。\"
\"Iknowbetter！\"brokeinLaurie。\"Youthinksonow，butthere’llcomeatimewhenyouwillcareforsomebody，andyou’lllovehimtremendously，andliveanddieforhim。Iknowyouwill，it’syourway，andIshallhavetostandbyandseeit。\"Andthedespairinglovercasthishatuponthegroundwithagesturethatwouldhaveseemedcomical，ifhisfacehadnotbeensotragic。
\"Yes，Iwillliveanddieforhim，ifherevercomesandmakesmelovehiminspiteofmyself，andyoumustdothebestyoucan！\"criedJo，losingpatiencewithpoorTeddy。\"I’vedonemybest，butyouwon’tbereasonable，andit’sselfishofyoutokeepteasingforwhatIcan’tgive。Ishallalwaysbefondofyou，veryfondindeed，asafriend，butI’llnevermarryyou，andthesooneryoubelieveitthebetterforbothofus——sonow！\"
Thatspeechwaslikegunpowder。Laurielookedatheraminuteasifhedidnotquiteknowwhattodowithhimself，thenturnedsharplyaway，sayinginadesperatesortoftone，\"You’llbesorrysomeday，Jo。\"
\"Oh，whereareyougoing？\"shecried，forhisfacefrightenedher。
\"Tothedevil！\"wastheconsolinganswer。
ForaminuteJo’sheartstoodstill，asheswunghimselfdownthebanktowardtheriver，butittakesmuchfolly，sinormiserytosendayoungmantoaviolentdeath，andLauriewasnotoneoftheweaksortwhoareconqueredbyasinglefailure。Hehadnothoughtofamelodramaticplunge，butsomeblindinstinctledhimtoflinghatandcoatintohisboat，androwawaywithallhismight，makingbettertimeuptheriverthanhehaddoneinanyrace。Jodrewalongbreathandunclaspedherhandsasshewatchedthepoorfellowtryingtooutstripthetroublewhichhecarriedinhisheart。
\"Thatwilldohimgood，andhe’llcomehomeinsuchatender，penitentstateofmind，thatIshan’tdaretoseehim。\"shesaid，adding，asshewentslowlyhome，feelingasifshehadmurderedsomeinnocentthing，andburieditundertheleaves。\"NowImustgoandprepareMr。Laurencetobeverykindtomypoorboy。Iwishhe’dloveBeth，perhapshemayintime，butIbegintothinkIwasmistakenabouther。Ohdear！Howcangirlsliketohaveloversandrefusethem？Ithinkit’sdreadful。\"Beingsurethatnoonecoulddoitsowellasherself，shewentstraighttoMr。Laurence，toldthehardstorybravelythrough，andthenbrokedown，cryingsodismallyoverherowninsensibilitythatthekindoldgentleman，thoughsorelydisappointed，didnotutterareproach。HefounditdifficulttounderstandhowanygirlcouldhelplovingLaurie，andhopedshewouldchangehermind，butheknewevenbetterthanJothatlovecannotbeforced，soheshookhisheadsadlyandresolvedtocarryhisboyoutofharm’sway，forYoungImpetuosity’spartingwordstoJodisturbedhimmorethanhewouldconfess。
WhenLauriecamehome，deadtiredbutquitecomposed，hisgrandfathermethimasifheknewnothing，andkeptupthedelusionverysuccessfullyforanhourortwo。Butwhentheysattogetherinthetwilight，thetimetheyusedtoenjoysomuch，itwashardworkfortheoldmantorambleonasusual，andharderstillfortheyoungonetolistentopraisesofthelastyear’ssuccess，whichtohimnowseemedlikelove’slaborlost。Heboreitaslongashecould，thenwenttohispianoandbegantoplay。Thewindow’swereopen，andJo，walkinginthegardenwithBeth，foronceunderstoodmusicbetterthanhersister，forheplayedthe`SonataPathétique’，andplayeditasheneverdidbefore。
\"That’sveryfine，Idaresay，butit’ssadenoughtomakeonecry。Giveussomethinggayer，lad，\"saidMr。Laurence，whosekindoldheartwasfullofsympathy，whichhelongedtoshowbutknewnothow。
Lauriedashedintoalivelierstrain，playedstormilyforseveralminutes，andwouldhavegotthroughbravely，ifinamomentarylullMrs。March’svoicehadnotbeenheardcalling，\"Jo，dear，comein。Iwantyou。\"
JustwhatLaurielongedtosay，withadifferentmeaning！Ashelistened，helosthisplace，themusicendedwithabrokenchord，andthemusiciansatsilentinthedark。
\"Ican’tstandthis，\"mutteredtheoldgentleman。Uphegot，gropedhiswaytothepiano，laidakindhandoneitherofthebroadshoulders，andsaid，asgentlyasawoman，\"Iknow，myboy，Iknow。\"
Noanswerforaninstant，thenLaurieaskedsharply，\"Whotoldyou？\"
\"Joherself。\"
\"Thenthere’sanendofit！\"Andheshookoffhisgrandfather’shandswithanimpatientmotion，forthoughgratefulforthesympathy，hisman’spridecouldnotbearaman’spity。
\"Notquite。Iwanttosayonething，andthenthereshallbeanendofit，\"returnedMr。Laurencewithunusualmildness。\"Youwon’tcaretostayathomenow，perhaps？\"
\"Idon’tintendtorunawayfromagirl。Jocan’tpreventmyseeingher，andIshallstayanddoitaslongasIlike，\"interruptedLaurieinadefianttone。
\"NotifyouarethegentlemanIthinkyou。I’mdisappointed，butthegirlcan’thelpit，andtheonlythingleftforyoutodoistogoawayforatime。Wherewillyougo？\"
\"Anywhere。Idon’tcarewhatbecomesofme。\"AndLauriegotupwitharecklesslaughthatgratedonhisgrandfather’sear。
\"Takeitlikeaman，anddon’tdoanythingrash，forGod’ssake。Whynotgoabroad，asyouplanned，andforgetit？\"
\"Ican’t。\"
\"Butyou’vebeenwildtogo，andIpromisedyoushouldwhenyougotthroughcollege。\"
\"Ah，butIdidn’tmeantogoalone！\"AndLauriewalkedfastthroughtheroomwithanexpressionwhichitwaswellhisgrandfatherdidnotsee。
\"Idon’taskyoutogoalone。There’ssomeonereadyandgladtogowithyou，anywhereintheworld。\"
\"Who，Sir？’stoppingtolisten。
\"Myself。\"
Lauriecamebackasquicklyashewent，andputouthishand，sayinghuskily，\"I’maselfishbrute，but——youknow—Grandfather——\"
\"Lordhelpme，yes，Idoknow，forI’vebeenthroughitallbefore，onceinmyownyoungdays，andthenwithyourfather。Now，mydearboy，justsitquietlydownandhearmyplan。It’sallsettled，andcanbecarriedoutatonce，\"saidMr。Laurence，keepingholdoftheyoungman，asiffearfulthathewouldbreakawayashisfatherhaddonebeforehim。
\"Well，sir，whatisit？\"AndLauriesatdown，withoutasignofinterestinfaceorvoice。
\"ThereisbusinessinLondonthatneedslookingafter。Imeantyoushouldattendtoit，butIcandoitbettermyself，andthingsherewillgetonverywellwithBrooketomanagethem。Mypartnersdoalmosteverything，I’mmerelyholdingonuntilyoutakemyplace，andcanbeoffatanytime。\"
\"Butyouhatetraveling，Sir。Ican’taskitofyouatyourage，\"beganLaurie，whowasgratefulforthesacrifice，butmuchpreferredtogoalone，ifhewentatall。Theoldgentlemanknewthatperfectlywell，andparticularlydesiredtopreventit，forthemoodinwhichhefoundhisgrandsonassuredhimthatitwouldnotbewisetoleavehimtohisowndevices。So，stiflinganaturalregretatthethoughtofthehomecomfortshewouldleavebehindhim，hesaidstoutly，Blessyoursoul，I’mnotsuperannuatedyet。Iquiteenjoytheidea。Itwilldomegood，andmyoldboneswon’tsuffer，fortravelingnowadaysisalmostaseasyassittinginachair。\"
ArestlessmovementfromLauriesuggestedthathischairwasnoteasy，orthathedidnotliketheplan，andmadetheoldmanaddhastily，\"Idon’tmeantobeamarplotoraburden。IgobecauseIthinkyou’dfeelhappierthanifIwasleftbehind。Idon’tintendtogadaboutwithyou，butleaveyoufreetogowhereyoulike，whileIamusemyselfinmyownway。I’vefriendsinLondonandParis，andshouldliketovisitthem。MeantimeyoucangotoItaly，Germany，Switzerland，whereyouwill，andenjoypictures，music，scenery，andadventurestoyourheart’scontent。\"
Now，Lauriefeltjustthenthathisheartwasentirelybrokenandtheworldahowlingwilderness，butatthesoundofcertainwordswhichtheoldgentlemanartfullyintroducedintohisclosingsentence，thebrokenheartgaveanunexpectedleap，andagreenoasisortwosuddenlyappearedinthehowlingwilderness。Hesighed，andthensaid，inaspiritlesstone，\"Justasyoulike，Sir。Itdoesn’tmatterwhereIgoorwhatIdo。\"
\"Itdoestome，rememberthat，mylad。Igiveyouentireliberty，butItrustyoutomakeanhonestuseofit。Promisemethat，Laurie。\"
\"Anythingyoulike，Sir。\"
\"Good，\"thoughttheoldgentleman。\"Youdon’tcarenow，butthere’llcomeatimewhenthatpromisewillkeepyououtofmischief，orI’mmuchmistaken。\"
Beinganenergeticindividual，Mr。Laurencestruckwhiletheironwashot，andbeforetheblightedbeingrecoveredspiritenoughtorebel，theywereoff。Duringthetimenecessaryforpreparation，Laurieborehimselfasyounggentlemanusuallydoinsuchcases。Hewasmoody，irritable，andpensivebyturns，losthisappetite，neglectedhisdressanddevotedmuchtimetoplayingtempestuouslyonhispiano，avoidedJo，butconsoledhimselfbystaringatherfromhiswindow，withatragicfacethathauntedherdreamsbynightandoppressedherwithaheavysenseofguiltbyday。Unlikesomesufferers，heneverspokeofhisunrequitedpassion，andwouldallownoone，notevenMrs。March，toattemptconsolationoroffersympathy。Onsomeaccounts，thiswasarelieftohisfriends，buttheweeksbeforehisdeparturewereveryuncomfortable，andeveryonerejoicedthatthe`poor，dearfellowwasgoingawaytoforgethistrouble，andcomehomehappy’。Ofcourse，hesmileddarklyattheirdelusion，butpasseditbywiththesadsuperiorityofonewhoknewthathisfidelitylikehislovewasunalterable。
Whenthepartingcameheaffectedhighspirits，toconcealcertaininconvenientemotionswhichseemedinclinedtoassertthemselves。Thisgaietydidnotimposeuponanybody，buttheytriedtolookasifitdidforhissake，andhegotonverywelltillMrs。Marchkissedhim，whitawhisperfullofmotherlysolicitude。Thenfeelingthathewasgoingveryfast，hehastilyembracedthemallround，notforgettingtheafflictedHannah，andrandownstairsasifforhislife。Jofollowedaminuteaftertowaveherhandtohimifhelookedround。Hedidlookround，cameback，puthisarmsaboutherasshestoodonthestepabovehim，andlookedupatherwithafacethatmadehisshortappealeloquentandpathetic。
\"Oh，Jo，can’tyou？\"
\"Teddy，dear，IwishIcould！\"
Thatwasall，exceptalittlepause。ThenLauriestraightenedhimselfup，said，\"It’sallright，nevermind，\"andwentawaywithoutanotherword。Ah，butitwasn’tallright，andJodidmind，forwhilethecurlyheadlayonherarmaminuteafterherhardanswer，shefeltasifshehadstabbedherdearestfriend，andwhenheleftherwithoutalookbehindhim，sheknewthattheboyLaurieneverwouldcomeagain。
GoodWives:Chapter13CHAPTER13Beth’sSecretWhenJocamehomethatspring，shehadbeenstruckwiththechangeinBeth。Noonespokeofitorseemedawareofit，forithadcometoograduallytostartlethosewhosawherdaily，buttoeyessharpenedbyabsence，itwasveryplainandaheavyweightfellonJo’sheartasshesawhersister’sface。Itwasnopalerandbutlittlerthinnerthanintheautumn，yettherewasastrange，transparentlookaboutit，asifthemortalwasbeingslowlyrefinedaway，andtheimmortalshiningthroughthefrailfleshwithanindescribablypatheticbeauty。Josawandfeltit，butsaidnothingatthetime，andsoonthefirstimpressionlostmuchofitspower，forBethseemedhappy，nooneappearedtodoubtthatshewasbetter，andpresentlyinothercaresJoforatimeforgotherfear。
ButwhenLauriewasgone，andpeaceprevailedagain，thevagueanxietyreturnedandhauntedher。Shehadconfessedhersinsandbeenforgiven，butwhensheshowedhersavingsandproposedamountaintrip，Bethhadthankedherheartily，butbeggednottogosofarawayfromhome。Anotherlittlevisittotheseashorewouldsuitherbetter，andasGrandmacouldnotbeprevailedupontoleavethebabies，JotookBethdowntothequietplace，whereshecouldlivemuchintheopenair，andletthefreshseabreezesblowalittlecolorintoherpalecheeks。
Itwasnotafashionableplace，butevenamongthepleasantpeoplethere，thegirlsmadefewfriends，preferringtoliveforoneanother。Bethwastooshytoenjoysociety，andJotoowrappedupinhertocareforanyoneelse。Sotheywereallinalltoeachother，andcameandwent，quiteunconsciousoftheinteresttheyexitedinthoseaboutthem，whowatchedwithsympatheticeyesthestrongsisterandthefeebleone，alwaystogether，asiftheyfeltinstinctivelythatalongseparationwasnotfaraway。
Theydidfeelit，yetneitherspokeofit，foroftenbetweenourselvesandthosenearestanddearesttousthereexistsareservewhichitisveryhardtoovercome。JofeltasifaveilhadfallenbetweenherheartandBeth’s，butwhensheputoutherhandtoliftitup，thereseemedsomethingsacredinthesilence，andshewaitedforBethtospeak。Shewondered，andwasthankfulalso，thatherparentsdidnotseemtoseewhatshesaw，andduringthequietweekswhentheshadowsgrewsoplaintoher，shesaidnothingofittothoseathome，believingthatitwouldtellitselfwhenBethcamebacknobetter。Shewonderedstillmoreifhersisterreallyguessedthehardtruth，andwhatthoughtswerepassingthroughhermindduringthelonghourswhenshelayonthewarmrockswithherheadinJo’slap，whilethewindsblewhealthfullyoverherandtheseamademusicatherfeet。
OnedayBethtoldher。Jothoughtshewasasleep，shelaysostill，andputtingdownherbook，satlookingatherwithwistfuleyes，tryingtoseesignsofhopeinthefaintcoloronBeth’scheeks。Butshecouldnotfindenoughtosatisfyher，forthecheekswereverythin，andthehandsseemedtoofeebletoholdeventherosylittleshellstheyhadbeencollecting。ItcametoherthenmorebitterlythaneverthatBethwasslowlydriftingawayformher，andherarmsinstinctivelytightenedtheirholduponthedearesttreasureshepossessed。Foraminutehereyesweretoodimforseeing，andwhentheycleared，Bethwaslookingupathersotenderlythattherewashardlyanyneedforhertosay，\"Jo，dear，I’mgladyouknowit。I’vetriedtotellyou，butIcouldn’t。\"
Therewasnoanswerexcepthersister’scheekagainstherown，noteventears，forwhenmostdeeplymoved，Jodidnotcry。Shewastheweakerthen，landBethtriedtocomfortandsustainher，withherarmsaboutherandthesoothingwordsshewhisperedinherear。
\"I’veknownitforagoodwhile，dear，andnowI’musedtoit，itisn’thardtothinkofortobear。Trytoseeitsoanddon’tbetroubledaboutme，becauseit’sbest，indeeditis。\"
\"Isthiswhatmadeyousounhappyintheautumn，Beth？Youdidnotfeelitthen，landkeepittoyourselfsolong，didyou？\"askedJo，refusingtoseeorsaythatitwasbest，butgladtoknowthatLauriehadnopartinBeth’strouble。
\"Yes，Igaveuphopingthen，butIdidn’tliketoownit。Itriedtothinkitwasasickfancy，andwouldnotletittroubleanyone。ButwhenIsawyouallsowellandstrongandfullofhappyplans，itwashardtofeelthatIcouldneverbelikeyou，andthenIwasmiserable，Jo。\"
\"Oh，Beth，andyoudidn’ttellme，didn’tletmecomfortandhelpyou？Howcouldyoushutmeout，bearitallalone？\"
Jo’svoicewasfulloftenderreproach，andherheartachedtothinkofthesolitarystrugglethatmusthavegoneonwhileBethlearnedtosaygoodbyetohealth，love，andlive，andtakeuphercrosssocheerfully。
\"Perhapsitwaswrong，butItriedtodoright。Iwasn’tsure，noonesaidanything，andIhopedIwasmistaken。ItwouldhavebeenselfishtofrightenyouallwhenMarmeewassoanxiousaboutMeg，andAmyaway，andyousohappywithLaurie——atleastIthoughtsothen。\"
\"AndIthoughtyoulovedhim，Beth，andIwentawaybecauseIcouldn’t，\"criedJo，gladtosayallthetruth。
BethlookedsoamazedattheideathatJosmiledinspiteofherpain，andaddedsoftly，\"Thenyoudidn’t，dearie？Iwasafraiditwasso，andimaginedyourpoorlittleheartfulloflovelornityallthatwhile。\"
\"Why，Jo，howcouldI，whenhewassofondofyou？\"askedBeth，asinnocentlyasachild。\"Idolovehimdearly。Heissogoodtome，howcanIhelpIt？Buthecouldneverbeanythingtomebutmybrother。Ihopehetrulywillbe，sometime。\"
\"Notthroughme，\"saidJodecidedly。\"Amyisleftforhim，andtheywouldsuitexcellently，butIhavenoheartforsuchthings，now。Idon’tcarewhatbecomesofanybodybutyou，Beth。Youmustgetwell。\"
\"Iwantto，oh，somuch！Itry，buteverydayIlosealittle，andfeelmoresurethatIshallnevergainitback。It’slikethetide，Jo，whenitturns，itgoesslowly，butitcan’tbestopped……\"
\"Itshallbestopped，yourtidemustnotturnsosoon，nineteenistooyoung，Beth。Ican’tletyougo。I’llworkandprayandfightagainstit。I’llkeepyouinspiteofeverything。Theremustbeways，itcan’tbetoolate。Godwon’tbesocruelastotakeyoufromme，\"criedpoorJorebelliously，forherspiritwasfarlesspiouslysubmissivethanBeth’s。
Simple，sincerepeopleseldomspeakmuchoftheirpiety。Itshowsitselfinactsratherthaninwords，andhasmoreinfluencethanhomiliesorprotestations。Bethcouldnotreasonuponorexplainthefaiththatgavehercourageandpatiencetogiveuplife，andcheerfullywaitfordeath。Likeaconfidingchild，sheaskednoquestions，butlefteverythingtoGodandnature，FatherandMotherofusall，feelingsurethatthey，andtheyonly，couldteachandstrengthenheartandspiritforthislifeandthelifetocome。ShedidnotrebukeJowithsaintlyspeeches，onlylovedherbetterforherpassionateaffection，andclungmorecloselytothedearhumanlove，fromwhichourFathernevermeansustobeweaned，butthroughwhichHedrawsusclosertoHimself。Shecouldnotsay，\"I’mgladtogo，\"forlifewasverysweetforher。Shecouldonlysobout，\"Itrytobewilling，\"whilesheheldfasttoJo，asthefirstbitterwaveofthisgreatsorrowbrokeoverthemtogether。
ByandbyBethsaid，withrecoveredserenity，\"You’lltellthemthiswhenwegohome？\"
\"Ithinktheywillseeitwithoutwords，\"sighedJo，fornowitseemedtoherthatBethchangedeveryday。
\"Perhapsnot。I’veheardthatthepeoplewholovebestareoftenblindesttosuchthings。Iftheydon’tseeit，youwilltellthemforme。Idon’twantanysecrets，andit’skindertopreparethem。MeghasJohnandthebabiestocomforther，butyoumuststandbyFatherandMother，won’tyouJo？\"
\"IfIcan。But，Beth，Idon’tgiveupyet。I’mgoingtobelievethatitisasickfancy，andnotletyouthinkit’strue。\"saidJo，tryingtospeakcheerfully。
Bethlayaminutethinking，andthensaidinherquietway，\"Idon’tknowhowtoexpressmyself，andshouldn’ttrytoanyonebutyou，becauseIcan’tspeakoutexcepttomyJo。IonlymeantosaythatIhaveafeelingthatitneverwasintendedIshouldlivelong。I’mnotliketherestofyou。InevermadeanyplansaboutwhatI’ddowhenIgrewup。Ineverthoughtofbeingmarried，asyoualldid。Icouldn’tseemtoimaginemyselfanythingbutstupidlittleBeth，trottingaboutathome，ofnouseanywherebutthere。Ineverwantedtogoaway，andthehardpartnowistheleavingyouall。I’mnotafraid，butitseemsasifIshouldbehomesickforyoueveninheaven。\"
Jocouldnotspeak，andforseveralminutestherewasnosoundbutthesighofthewindandthelappingofthetide。Awhite—wingedgullflewby，withtheflashofsunshineonitssilverybreast。Bethwatchedittillitvanished，andhereyeswerefullofsadness。Alittlegray—coatedsandbirdcametrippingoverthebeach`peeping’softlytoitself，asifenjoyingthesunandsea。ItcamequiteclosetoBeth，andlookedatherwithafriendlyeyeandsatuponawarmstone，dressingitswetfeathers，quiteathome。Bethsmiledandfeltcomforted，forthetinythingseemedtoofferitssmallfriendshipandremindherthatapleasantworldwasstilltobeenjoyed。
\"Dearlittlebird！See，Jo，howtameitis。Ilikepeepsbetterthanthegulls。Theyarenotsowildandhandsome，buttheyseemhappy，confidinglittlethings。Iusedtocallthemmybirdslastsummer，andMothersaidtheyremindedherofme——busy，quaker—coloredcreatures，alwaysneartheshore，andalwayschirpingthatcontentedlittlesongoftheirs。Youarethegull，Jo，strongandwild，fondofthestormandthewind，flyingfarouttosea，andhappyallalone。Megistheturtledove，andAmyislikethelarkshewriteabout，tryingtogetupamongtheclouds，butalwaysdroppingdownintoitsnestagain。Dearlittlegirl！She’ssoambitious，butherheartisgoodandtender，andnomatterhowhighsheflies，sheneverwillforgethome。IhopeIshallseeheragain，butsheseemssofaraway。\"
\"Sheiscominginthespring，andImeanthatyoushallbeallreadytoseeandenjoyher。I’mgoingtohaveyouwellandrosybythattime。\"beganJo，feelingthatofallthechangesinBeth，thetalkingchangewasthegreatest，foritseemedtocostnoeffortnow，andshethoughtaloudinawayquiteunlikebashfulBeth。
\"Jo，dear，don’thopeanymore。Itwon’tdoanygood。I’msureofthat。Wewon’tbemiserable，butenjoybeingtogetherwhilewewait。We’llhavehappytimes，forIdon’tsuffermuch，andIthinkthetidewillgoouteasily，ifyouhelpme。\"
Joleaneddowntokissthetranquilface，andwiththatsilentkiss，shededicatedherselfsoulandbodytoBeth。
Shewasright。Therewasnoneedofanywordswhentheygothome，forFatherandMothersawplainlynowwhattheyhadprayedtobesavedfromseeing。Tiredwithhershortjourney，Bethwentatoncetobed，sayinghowgladshewastobehome，andwhenJowentdown，shefoundthatshewouldbesparedthehardtaskoftellingBeth’ssecret。Herfatherstoodleaninghisheadonthemantelpieceanddidnotturnasshecamein，buthermotherstretchedoutherarmsasifforhelp，andJowenttocomfortherwithoutaword。
GoodWives:Chapter14CHAPTER14NewImpressionsAtthreeo’clockintheafternoon，allthefashionableworldatNicemaybeseenonthePromenadedesAnglais——acharmingplace，forthewidewalk，borderedwithpalms，flowers，andtropicalshrubs，isboundedononesidebythesea，ontheotherbythegranddrive，linedwithhotelsandvillas，whilebeyondlieorangeorchardsandthehills。Manynationsarerepresented，manylanguagesspoken，manycostumesworn，andonasunnydaythespectacleisasgayandbrilliantasacarnival。HaughtyEnglish，livelyFrench，soberGermans，handsomeSpaniards，uglyRussians，meekJews，free—and—easyAmericans，alldrive，sit，orsaunterhere，chattingoverthenews，andcriticzingthelatestcelebritywhohasarrived——RistoriorDickens，VictorEmmanuelortheQueenoftheSandwichIslands。Theequipagesareasvariedasthecompanyandattractasmuchattention，especiallythelowbasketbarouchesinwhichladiesdrivethemselves，withapairofdashingponies，gaynetstokeeptheirvoluminousflouncesfromoverflowingthediminutivevehicles，andlittlegroomsontheperchbehind。
Alongthiswalk，onChristmasDay，atallyoungmanwalkedslowly，withhishandsbehindhim，andasomewhatabsentexpressionofcountenance。HelookedlikeanItalian，wasdressedlikeanEnglishman，andhadtheindependentairofanAmerican——acombinationwhichcausedsundrypairsoffeminineeyestolookapprovinglyafterhim，andsundrydandiesinblackvelvetsuits，withrose—coloredneckties，buffgloves，andorangeflowersintheirbuttonholes，toshrugtheirshoulders，andthenenvyhimhisinches。Therewereplentyofprettyfacestoadmire，buttheyoungmantooklittlenoticeofthem，excepttoglancenowandthenatsomeblondegirlinblue。Presentlyhestrolledoutofthepromenadeandstoodamomentatthecrossing，asifundecidedwhethertogoandlistentothebandintheJardinPublique，ortowanderalongthebeachtowardCastleHill。Thequicktrotofponiesfeetmadehimlookup，asoneofthelittlecarriages，containingasingleyounglady，camerapidlydownthestreet。Theladywasyoung，blonde，anddressedinblue。Hestaredaminute，thenhiswholefacewokeup，and，wavinghishatlikeaboy，hehurriedforwardtomeether。
\"Oh，Laurie，isitreallyyou？Ithoughtyou’dnevercome！\"criedAmy，droppingthereinsandholdingoutbothhands，tothegreatscandalizationofaFrenchmamma，whohastenedherdaughter’ssteps，lestsheshouldbedemoralizedbybeholdingthefreemannersofthese`madEnglish’。
\"Iwasdetainedbytheway，butIpromisedtospendChristmaswithyou，andhereIam。\"
\"Howisyourgrandfather？Whendidyoucome？Whereareyoustaying？\"
\"Verywell——lastnight——attheChauvain。Icalledatyourhotel，butyouwereout。\"
\"Ihavesomuchtosay，Idon’tknowwheretobegin！Getinandwecantalkatourease。Iwasgoingforadriveandlongingforcompany。Flo’ssavingupfortonight。\"
\"Whathappensthen，aball？\"
\"AChristmaspartyatouthotel。TherearemanyAmericansthere，andtheygiveitinhonoroftheday。You’llgowithus，ofcourse？Auntwillbecharmed。\"
\"Thankyou。Wherenow？\"askedLaurie，leaningbackandfoldinghisarms，aproceedingwhichsuitedAmy，whopreferredtodrive，forherparasolwhipandbluereinsoverthewhiteponiesbacksaffordedherinfinitesatisfaction。
\"I’mgoingtothebankersfirstforletters，andthentoCastleHill。Theviewissolovely，andIliketofeedthepeacocks。Haveyoueverbeenthere？\"
\"Often，yearsago，butIdon’tmindhavingalookatit。\"
\"Nowtellmeallaboutyourself。ThelastIheardofyou，yourgrandfatherwrotethatheexpectedyoufromBerlin。\"\"Yes，IspentamonththereandthenjoinedhiminParis，wherehehassettledforthewinter。Hehasfriendsthereandfindsplentytoamusehim，soIgoandcome，andwegotoncapitally。\"
\"That’sasociablearrangement，\"saidAmy，missingsomethinginLaurie’smanner，thoughshecouldn’ttellwhat。
\"Why，yousee，hehatestotravel，andIhatetokeepstill，soweeachsuitourselves，andthereisnotrouble。Iamoftenwithhim，andheenjoysmyadventures，whileIliketofeelthatsomeoneisgladtoseemewhenIgetbackfrommywanderings。Dirtyoldhole，isn’tit？\"headded，withalookofdisgustastheydrovealongtheboulevardtothePlaceNapoleonintheoldcity。
\"Thedirtispicturesque，soIdon’tmind。Theriverandthehillsaredelicious，andtheseglimpsesofthenarrowcrossstreetsaremydelight。Nowweshallhavetowaitforthatprocessiontopass。It’sgoingtotheChurchofSt。John。\"
WhileLaurielistlesslywatchedtheprocessionofpriestsundertheircanopies，white—veilednunsbearinglightedtapers，andsomebrotherhoodinbluechantingastheywalked，Amywatchedhim，andfeltanewsortofshynessstealoverher，forhewaschanged，andshecouldnotfindthemerry—facedboysheleftinthemoody—lookingmanbesideher。Hewashandsomerthaneverandgreatlyimproved，shethought，butnowthattheflushofpleasureatmeetingherwasover，helookedtiredandspiritless——notsick，norexactlyunhappy，butolderandgraverthanayearortwoofprosperouslifeshouldhavemadehim。Shecouldn’tunderstanditanddidnotventuretoaskquestions，sosheshookherheadandtouchedupherponies，astheprocessionwoundawayacrossthearchesofthePaglionibridgeandvanishedinthechurch。
\"Quepensez—vous？\"shesaid，airingherFrench，whichhadimprovedinquantity，ifnotinquality，sinceshecameabroad。
\"Thatmademoisellehasmadegooduseofhertime，andtheresultischarming，\"repliedLaurie，bowingwithhishandonhisheartandanadmiringlook。
Sheblushedwithpleasure，butsomehowthecomplimentdidnotsatisfyherlikethebluntpraisesheusedtogiveherathome，whenhepromenadedroundheronfestivaloccasions，andtoldhershewas`altogetherjolly’，withaheartysmileandanapprovingpatonthehead。Shedidn’tlikethenewtone，forthoughnotblase，itsoundedindifferentinspiteofthelook。
\"Ifthat’sthewayhe’sgoingtogrowup，Iwishhe’sstayaboy，\"shethought，withacurioussenseofdisappointmentanddiscomfort，tryingmeantimetoseemquiteeasyandgay。
AtAvigdor’sshefoundtheprecioushomelettersand，givingthereinstoLaurie，readthemluxuriouslyastheywounduptheshadyroadbetweengreenhedges，wheretearosesbloomedasfreshlyasinJune。
\"Bethisverypoorly，Mothersays。IoftenthinkIoughttogohome，buttheyallsay`stay’。SoIdo，forIshallneverhaveanotherchancelikethis，\"saidAmy，lookingsoberoveronepage。
\"Ithinkyouareright，there。Youcoulddonothingathome，anditisagreatcomforttothemtoknowthatyouarewellandhappy，andenjoyingsomuch，mydear。\"
Hedrewalittlenearer，andlookedmorelikehisoldselfashesaidthat，andthefearthatsometimesweighedonAmy’sheartwaslightened，forthelook，theact，thebrotherly`mydear’，seemedtoassureherthatifanytroubledidcome，shewouldnotbealoneinastrangeland。PresentlyshelaughedandshowedhimasmallsketchofJoinherscribblingsuit，withthebowrampantlyerectuponhercap，andissuingfromhermouththewords，`Geniusburns！’。