WhyeverybodylikedhimwaswhatpuzzledJo，atfirst。Hewasneitherrichnorgreat，youngnorhandsome，innorespectwhatiscalledfascinating，imposing，orbrilliant，andyethewasasattractiveasagenialfire，andpeopleseemedtogatherabouthimasnaturallyasaboutawarmhearth。Hewaspoor，yetalwaysappearedtobegivingsomethingaway;astranger，yeteveryonewashisfriend;nolongeryoung，butashappy—heartedasaboy;plainandpeculiar，yethisfacelookedbeautifultomany，andhisodditieswerefreelyforgivenforhissake。Jooftenwatchedhim，tryingtodiscoverthecharm，andatlastdecidedthatitwasbenevolencewhichworkedthemiracle。Ifhehadanysorrow，`itsatwithitsheadunderitswing’，andheturnedonlyhissunnysidetotheworld。Therewerelinesuponhisforehead，butTimeseemedtohavetouchedhimgently，rememberinghowkindhewastoothers。Thepleasantcurvesabouthismouthwerethememorialsofmanyfriendlywordsandcheerylaughs，hiseyeswerenevercoldorhard，andhisbighandhadawarm，stronggraspthatwasmoreexpressivethanwords。
Hisveryclothesseemedtopartakeofthehospitablenatureofthewearer。Theylookedasiftheywereatease，andlikedtomakehimcomfortable。Hiscapaciouswaistcoatwassuggestiveofalargeheartunderneath。Hisrustycoathadasocialair，andthebaggypocketsplainlyprovedthatlittlehandsoftenwentinemptyandcameoutfull。Hisverybootswerebenevolent，andhiscollarsneverstiffandraspylikeotherpeople’s。
\"That’sit！\"saidJotoherself，whensheatlengthdiscoveredthatgenuinegoodwilltowardone’sfellowmencouldbeautifyanddignifyevenastoutGermanteacher，whoshoveledinhisdinner，darnedhisownsocks，andwasburdenedwiththenameofBhaer。
Jovaluedgoodnesshighly，butshealsopossessedamostfemininerespectforintellect，andalittlediscoverywhichshemadeabouttheProfessoraddedmuchtoherregardforhim。Heneverspokeofhimself，andnooneeverknewthatinhisnativecityhehadbeenamanmuchhonoredandesteemedforlearningandintegrity，tillacountrymancametoseehim。Heneverspokeofhimself，andinaconversationwithMissNortondivulgedthepleasingfact。FromherJolearnedit，andlikeditallthebetterbecauseMr。Bhaerhadnevertoldit。ShefeltproudtoknowthathewasanhonoredProfessorinBerlin，thoughonlyapoorlanguage—masterinAmerica，andhishomely，hard—workinglifewasmuchbeautifiedbythespiceofromancewhichthisdiscoverygaveit。Anotherandabettergiftthanintellectwasshownherinamostunexpectedmanner。MissNortonhadtheentréeintomostsociety，whichJowouldhavehadnochanceofseeingbutforher。Thesolitarywomanfeltaninterestintheambitiousgirl，andkindlyconferredmanyfavorsofthissortbothonJoandtheProfessor。Shetookthemwithheronenighttoaselectsymposium，heldinhonorofseveralcelebrities。
Jowentpreparedtobowdownandadorethemightyoneswhomshehadworshipedwithyouthfulenthusiasmafaroff。Butherreverenceforgeniusreceivedasevereshockthatnight，andittookhersometimetorecoverfromthediscoverythatthegreatcreatureswereonlymenandwomenafterall。Imagineherdismay，onstealingaglanceoftimidadmirationatthepoetwhoselinessuggestedanetherealbeingfedon`spirit，fire，anddew’，tobeholdhimdevouringhissupperwithanardorwhichflushedhisintellectualcountenance。Turningasfromafallenidol，shemadeotherdiscoverieswhichrapidlydispelledherromanticillusions。Thegreatnovelistvibratedbetweentwodecanterswiththeregularityofapendulum;thefamousdivineflirtedopenlywithoneoftheMadamedeStaelsoftheage，wholookeddaggersatanotherCorinne，whowasamiablysatirizingher，afteroutmaneuveringherineffortstoabsorbtheprofoundphilosopher，whoimbibedteaJohnsonianlyandappearedtoslumber，theloquacityoftheladyrenderingspeechimpossible。Thescientificcelebrities，forgettingtheirmollusksandglacialperiods，gossipedaboutart，whiledevotingthemselvestooystersandiceswithcharacteristicenergy;theyoungmusician，whowascharmingthecitylikeasecondOrpheus，talkedhorses;andthespecimenoftheBritishnobilitypresenthappenedtobethemostordinarymanoftheparty。
Beforetheeveningwashalfover，Jofeltsocompletelydisillusioned，thatshesatdowninacornertorecoverherself。Mr。Bhaersoonjoinedher，lookingratheroutofhiselement，andpresentlyseveralofthephilosophers，eachmountedonhishobby，cameamblinguptoholdanintellectualtournamentintherecess。TheconversationsweremilesbeyondJo’scomprehension，butsheenjoyedit，thoughKantandHegelwereunknowngods，theSubjectiveandObjectiveunintelligibleterms，andtheonlything`evolvedfromherinnerconsciousness’wasabadheadacheafteritwasallover。Itdawneduponhergraduallythattheworldwasbeingpickedtopieces，andputtogetheronnewand，accordingtothetalkers，oninfinitelybetterprinciplesthanbefore，thatreligionwasinafairwaytobereasonedintonothingness，andintellectwastobetheonlyGod。Joknewnothingaboutphilosophyormetaphysicsofanysort，butacuriousexcitement，halfpleasurable，halfpainful，cameoverherasshelistenedwithasenseofbeingturnedadriftintotimeandspace，likeayoungballoonoutonaholiday。
ShelookedroundtoseehowtheProfessorlikedit，andfoundhimlookingatherwiththegrimestexpressionshehadeverseenhimwear。Heshookhisheadandbeckonedhertocomeaway，butshewasfascinatedjustthenbythefreedomofSpeculativePhilosophy，andkeptherseat，tryingtofindoutwhatthewisegentlemenintendedtorelyuponaftertheyhadannihilatedalltheoldbeliefs。
Now，Mr。Bhaerwasadiffidentmanandslowtoofferhisownopinions，notbecausetheywereunsettled，buttoosincereandearnesttobelightlyspoken。AsheglancedfromJotoseveralotheryoungpeople，attractedbythebrilliancyofthephilosophicpyrotechnics，heknithisbrowsandlongedtospeak，fearingthatsomeinflammableyoungsoulwouldbeledastraybytherockets，tofindwhenthedisplaywasoverthattheyhadonlyanemptystickorascorchedhand。
Heboreitaslongashecould，butwhenhewasappealedtoforanopinion，heblazedupwithhonestindignationanddefendedreligionwithalltheeloquenceoftruth——aneloquencewhichmadehisbrokenEnglishmusicalandhisplainfacebeautiful。Hehadahardfight，forthewisemenarguedwell，buthedidn’tknowwhenhewasbeatenandstoodtohiscolorslikeaman。Somehow，ashetalked，theworldgotrightagaintoJo。Theoldbeliefs，thathadlastedsolong，seemedbetterthanthenew。Godwasnotablindforce，andimmortalitywasnotaprettyfable，butablessedfact。Shefeltasifshehadsolidgroundunderherfeetagain，andwhenMr。Bhaerpaused，outtalkedbutnotonewhitconvinced，Jowantedtoclapherhandsandthankhim。
Shedidneither，butsherememberedthescene，andgavetheProfessorherheartiestrespect，forsheknewitcosthimanefforttospeakoutthenandthere，becausehisconsciencewouldnotlethimbesilent。Shebegantoseethatcharacterisabetterpossessionthanmoney，rank，intellect，orbeauty，andtofeelthatifgreatnessiswhatawisemanhasdefinedittobe，`truth，reverence，andgoodwill’，thenherfriendFriedrichBhaerwasnotonlygood，butgreat。
Thisbeliefstrengtheneddaily。Shevaluedhisesteem，shecovetedhisrespect，shewantedtobeworthyofhisfriendship，andjustwhenthewishwassincerest，shecameneartolosingeverything。Itallgrewoutofacockedhat，foroneeveningtheProfessorcameintogiveJoherlessonwithapapersoldiercaponhishead，whichTinahadputthereandhehadforgottentotakeoff。
\"It’sevidenthedoesn’tlookinhisglassbeforecomingdown，\"thoughtJo，withasmile，ashesaid\"Gootefening，\"andsatsoberlydown，quiteunconsciousoftheludicrouscontrastbetweenhissubjectandhisheadgear，forhewasgoingtoreadhertheDeathofWallenstein。
Shesaidnothingatfirst，forshelikedtohearhimlaughouthisbig，heartylaughwhenanythingfunnyhappened，soshelefthimtodiscoveritforhimself，andpresentlyforgotallaboutit，fortohearaGermanreadSchillerisratheranabsorbingoccupation。Afterthereadingcamethelesson，whichwasalivelyone，forJowasinagaymoodthatnight，andthecockedhatkepthereyesdancingwithmerriment。TheProfessordidn’tknowwhattomakeofher，andstoppedatlasttoaskwithanairofmildsurprisethatwasirresistible……
\"MeesMarsch，forwhatdoyoulaughinyourmaster’sface？Hafyounorespectforme，thatyougoonsobad？\"
\"HowcanIberespectful，Sir，whenyouforgettotakeyourhatoff？\"saidJo。
Liftinghishandtohishead，theabsent—mindedProfessorgravelyfeltandremovedthelittlecockedhat，lookedatitaminute，andthenthrewbackhisheadandlaughedlikeamerrybassviol。
\"Ah！Iseehimnow，itisthatimpTinawhomakesmeafoolwithmycap。Well，itisnothing，butseeyou，ifthislessongoesnotwell，youtooshallwearhim。\"
ButthelessondidnotgoatallforafewminutesbecauseMr。Bhaercaughtsightofapictureonthehat，andunfoldingit，saidwithgreatdisgust，\"Iwishthesepapersdidnotcomeinthehouse。Theyarenotforchildrentosee，noryoungpeopletoread。Itisnotwell，andIhafnopatiencewiththosewhomakethisharm。\"
Joglancedatthesheetandsawapleasingillustrationcomposedofalunatic，acorpse，avillian，andaviper。Shedidnotlikeit，buttheimpulsethatmadeherturnitoverwasnotoneofdispleasurebutfear，becauseforaminuteshefanciedthepaperwastheVolcano。Itwasnot，however，andherpanicsubsidedassherememberedthatevenifithadbeenandoneofherowntalesinit，therewouldhavebeennonametobetrayher。Shehadbetrayedherself，however，byalookandablush，forthoughanabsentman，theProfessorsawagooddealmorethanpeoplefancied。HeknewthatJowrote，andhadmetherdownamongthenewspaperofficesmorethanonce，butassheneverspokeofit，heaskednoquestionsinspiteofastrongdesiretoseeherwork。Nowitoccurredtohimthatshewasdoingwhatshewasashamedtoown，andittroubledhim。Hedidnotsaytohimself，\"Itisnoneofmybusiness。I’venorighttosayanything，\"asmanypeoplewouldhavedone。Heonlyrememberedthatshewasyoungandpoor，agirlfarawayfrommother’sloveandfather’scare，andhewasmovedtohelpherwithanimpulseasquickandnaturalasthatwhichwouldprompthimtoputouthishandtosaveababyfromapuddle。Allthisflashedthroughhismindinaminute，butnotatraceofitappearedinhisface，andbythetimethepaperwasturned，andJo’sneedlethreaded，hewasreadytosayquitenaturally，butverygravely……
\"Yes，youarerighttoputitfromyou。Idonotthinkthatgoodyounggirlsshouldseesuchthings。Theyaremadepleasanttosome，butIwouldmorerathergivemyboysgunpowdertoplaywiththanthisbadtrash。\"
\"Allmaynotbebad，onlysilly，youknow，andifthereisademandforit，Idon’tseeanyharminsupplyingit。Manyveryrespectablepeoplemakeanhonestlivingoutofwhatarecalledsensationstories，\"saidJo，scratchinggatherssoenergeticallythatarowoflittleslitsfollowedherpin。
\"Thereisademandforwhisky，butIthinkyouandIdonotcaretosellit。Iftherespectablepeopleknewwhatharmtheydid，theywouldnotfeelthatthelivingwashonest。Theyhafnorighttoputpoisoninthesugarplum，andletthesmalloneseatit。No，theyshouldthinkalittle，andsweepmudinthestreetbeforetheydothisthing。\"
Mr。Bhaerspokewarmly，andwalkedtothefire，crumplingthepaperinhishands。Josatstill，lookingasifthefirehadcometoher，forhercheeksburnedlongafterthecockedhathadturnedtosmokeandgoneharmlesslyupthechimney。
\"Ishouldlikemuchtosendalltherestafterhim，\"mutteredtheProfessor，comingbackwitharelievedair。
Jothoughtwhatablazeherpileofpapersupstairswouldmake，andherhard—earnedmoneylayratherheavilyonherconscienceatthatminute。Thenshethoughtconsolinglytoherself，\"Minearenotlikethat，theyareonlysilly，neverbad，soIwon’tbeworried，\"andtakingupherbook，shesaid，withastudiousface，\"Shallwegoon，Sir？I’llbeverygoodandpropernow。\"
\"Ishallhopeso，\"wasallhesaid，buthemeantmorethansheimagined，andthegrave，kindlookhegavehermadeherfeelasifthewordsWeeklyVolcanowereprintedinlargetypeonherforehead。
Assoonasshewenttoherroom，shegotoutherpapers，andcarefullyrereadeveryoneofherstories。Beingalittleshortsighted，Mr。Bhaersometimesusedeyeglasses，andJohadtriedthemonce，smilingtoseehowtheymagnifiedthefineprintofherbook。NowsheseemedtohaveontheProfessor’smentalormoralspectaclesalso，forthefaultsofthesepoorstoriesglaredatherdreadfullyandfilledherwithdismay。
\"Theyaretrash，andwillsoonbeworsetrashifIgoon，foreachismoresensationalthanthelast。I’vegoneblindlyon，hurtingmyselfandotherpeople，forthesakeofmoney。Iknowit’sso，forIcan’treadthisstuffinsoberearnestwithoutbeinghorriblyashamedofit，andwhatshouldIdoiftheywereseenathomeorMr。Bhaergotholdofthem？\"
Joturnedhotatthebareidea，andstuffedthewholebundleintoherstove，nearlysettingthechimneyafirewiththeblaze。
\"Yes，that’sthebestplaceforsuchinflammablenonsense。I’dbetterburnthehousedown，Isuppose，thanletotherpeopleblowthemselvesupwithmygunpowder，\"shethoughtasshewatchedtheDemonoftheJurawhiskaway，alittleblackcinderwithfieryeyes。
Butwhennothingremainedofallherthreemonth’sworkexceptaheapofashesandthemoneyinherlap，Jolookedsober，asshesatonthefloor，wonderingwhatsheoughttodoaboutherwages。
\"IthinkIhaven’tdonemuchharmyet，andmaykeepthistopayformytime，\"shesaid，afteralongmeditation，addingimpatiently，\"IalmostwishIhadn’tanyconscience，it’ssoinconvenient。IfIdidn’tcareaboutdoingright，anddidn’tfeeluncomfortablewhendoingwrong，Ishouldgetoncapitally。Ican’thelpwishingsometimes，thatMotherandFatherhadn’tbeensoparticularaboutsuchthings。\"
Ah，Jo，insteadofwishingthat，thankGodthat`FatherandMotherwereparticular’。andpityfromyourheartthosewhohavenosuchguardianstohedgethemroundwithprincipleswhichmayseemlikeprisonwallstoimpatientyouth，butwhichwillprovesurefoundationstobuildcharacteruponinwomanhood。
Jowrotenomoresensationalstories，decidingthatthemoneydidnotpayforhershareofthesensation，butgoingtotheotherextreme，asisthewaywithpeopleofherstamp，shetookacourseofMrs。Sherwood，MissEdgeworth，andHannahMore，andthenproducedatalewhichmighthavebeenmoreproperlycalledanessayorasermon，sointenselymoralwasit。Shehadherdoubtsaboutitfromthebeginning，forherlivelyfancyandgirlishromancefeltasillateaseinthenewstyleasshewouldhavedonemasqueradinginthestiffandcumbrouscostumeofthelastcentury。Shesentthisdidacticgemtoseveralmarkets，butitfoundnopurchaser，andshewasinclinedtoagreewithMr。Dashwoodthatmoralsdidn’tsell。
Thenshetriedachild’sstory，whichshecouldeasilyhavedisposedofifshehadnotbeenmercenaryenoughtodemandfilthylucreforit。Theonlypersonwhoofferedenoughtomakeitworthherwhiletotryjuvenileliteraturewasaworthygentlemanwhofeltithismissiontoconvertalltheworldtohisparticularbelief。Butmuchasshelikedtowriteforchildren，JocouldnotconsenttodepictallhernaughtyboysasbeingeatenbybearsortossedbymadbullsbecausetheydidnotgotoaparticularSabbathschool，norallthegoodinfantswhodidgoasrewardedbyeverykindofbliss，fromgildedgingerbreadtoescortsofangelswhentheydepartedthislifewithpsalmsorsermonsontheirlispingtongues。Sonothingcameofthesetrials，landJocorkedupherinkstand，andsaidinafitofverywholesomehumility……
\"Idon’tknowanything。I’llwaituntilIdobeforeItryagain，andmeantime，`sweepmudinthestreet’ifIcan’tdobetter，that’shonest，atleast。\"Whichdecisionprovedthathersecondtumbledownthebeanstalkhaddonehersomegood。
Whiletheseinternalrevolutionsweregoingon，herexternallifehadbeenasbusyanduneventfulasusual，andifshesometimeslookedseriousoralittlesadnooneobserveditbutProfessorBhaer。HediditsoquietlythatJoneverknewhewaswatchingtoseeifshewouldacceptandprofitbyhisreproof，butshestoodthetest，andhewassatisfied，forthoughnowordspassedbetweenthem，heknewthatshehadgivenupwriting。Notonlydidheguessitbythefactthatthesecondfingerofherrighthandwasnolongerinky，butshespenthereveningsdownstairsnow，wasmetnomoreamongnewspaperoffices，andstudiedwithadoggedpatience，whichassuredhimthatshewasbentonoccupyinghermindwithsomethinguseful，ifnotpleasant。
Hehelpedherinmanyways，provinghimselfatruefriend，andJowashappy，forwhileherpenlayidle，shewaslearningotherlessonsbesidesGerman，andlayingafoundationforthesensationstoryofherownlife。
Itwasapleasantwinterandalongone，forshedidnotleaveMrs。KirketillJune。Everyoneseemedsorrywhenthetimecame。Thechildrenwereinconsolable，andMr。Bhaer’shairstuckstraightupalloverhishead，forhealwaysrumpleditwildlywhendisturbedinmind。
\"Goinghome？Ah，youarehappythatyouhafahometogoin，\"hesaid，whenshetoldhim，andsatsilentlypullinghisbeardinthecorner，whilesheheldalittleleveeonthatlastevening。
Shewasgoingearly，soshebadethemallgoodbyeovernight，andwhenhisturncame，shesaidwarmly，\"Now，Sir，youwon’tforgettocomeandseeus，ifyouevertravelourway，willyou？I’llneverforgiveyouifyoudo，forIwantthemalltoknowmyfriend。\"
\"Doyou？ShallIcome？\"heasked，lookingdownatherwithaneagerexpressionwhichshedidnotsee。
\"Yes，comenextmonth。Lauriegraduatesthen，andyou’denjoycommencementassomethingnew。\"
\"Thatisyourbestfriend，ofwhomyouspeak？\"hesaidinanalteredtone。
\"Yes，myboyTeddy。I’mveryproudofhimandshouldlikeyoutoseehim。\"
Jolookedupthen，quiteunconsciousofanythingbutherownpleasureintheprospectofshowingthemtooneanother。SomethinginMr。Bhaer’sfacesuddenlyrecalledthefactthatshemightfindLauriemorethana`bestfriend’，andsimplybecausesheparticularlywishednottolookasifanythingwasthematter，sheinvoluntarilybegantoblush，andthemoreshetriednotto，thereddershegrew。IfithadnotbeenforTinaonherknee。Shedidn’tknowwhatwouldhavebecomeofher。Fortunatelythechildwasmovedtohugher，soshemanagedtohideherfaceaninstant，hopingtheProfessordidnotseeit。Buthedid，andhisownchangedagainfromthatmomentaryanxietytoitsusualexpression，ashesaidcordially……
\"IfearIshallnotmakethetimeforthat，butIwishthefriendmuchsuccess，andyouallhappiness。Gottblessyou！\"Andwiththat，heshookhandswarmly，shoulderedTina，andwentaway。
Butaftertheboyswereabed，hesatlongbeforehisfirewiththetiredlookonhisfaceandthe`heimweh’，orhomesickness，lyingheavyathisheart。Once，whenherememberedJoasshesatwiththelittlechildinherlapandthatnewsoftnessinherface，heleanedhisheadonhishandsaminute，andthenroamedabouttheroom，asifinsearchofsomethingthathecouldnotfind。
\"Itisnotforme，Imustnothopeitnow，\"hesaidtohimself，withasighthatwasalmostagroan。Then，asifreproachinghimselfforthelongingthathecouldnotrepress，hewentandkissedthetwotousledheadsuponthepillow，tookdownhisseldom—usedmeerschaum，andopenedhisPlato。
Hedidhisbestanddiditmanfully，butIdon’tthinkhefoundthatapairoframpantboys，apipe，oreventhedivinePlato，wereverysatisfactorysubstitutesforwifeandchildathome。
Earlyasitwas，hewasatthestationnextmorningtoseeJooff，andthankstohim，shebeganhersolitaryjourneywiththepleasantmemoryofafamiliarfacesmilingitsfarewell，abunchofvioletstokeephercompany，andbestofall，thehappythought，\"Well，thewinter’sgone，andI’vewrittennobooks，earnednofortune，butI’vemadeafriendworthhavingandI’lltrytokeephimallmylife。\"
GoodWives:Chapter12CHAPTER12HeartacheWhateverhismotivemighthavebeen，Lauriestudiedtosomepurposethatyear，forhegraduatedwithhonor，andgavetheLatinorationwiththegraceofaPhillipsandtheeloquenceofaDemosthenes，sohisfriendssaid。Theywereallthere，hisgrandfather——oh，soproud——Mr。andMrs。March，JohnandMeg，JoandBeth，andallexultedoverhimwiththesincereadmirationwhichboysmakelightofatthetime，butfailtowinfromtheworldbyanyafter—triumphs。
\"I’vegottostayforthisconfoundedsupper，butIshallbehomeearlytomorrow。You’llcomeandmeetmeasusual，girls？\"Lauriesaid，asheputthesistersintothecarriageafterthejoysofthedaywereover。Hesaid`girls’，buthemeantJo，forshewastheonlyonewhokeptuptheoldcustom。Shehadnotthehearttorefusehersplendid，successfulboyanything，andansweredwarmly……
\"I’llcome，Teddy，rainorshine，andmarchbeforeyou，playing`Hailtheconqueringherocomes’onajew’s—harp。\"
Lauriethankedherwithalookthatmadeherthinkinasuddenpanic，\"Oh，dearyme！Iknowhe’llsaysomething，andthenwhatshallIdo？\"
Eveningmeditationandmorningworksomewhatallayedherfears，andhavingdecidedthatshewouldn’tbevainenoughtothinkpeopleweregoingtoproposewhenshehadgiventhemeveryreasontoknowwhatheranswerwouldbe，shesetforthattheappointedtime，hopingTeddywouldn’tdoanythingtomakeherhurthispoorfeelings。AcallatMeg’s，andarefreshingsniffandsipattheDaisyandDemijohn，stillfurtherfortifiedherforthetê:te—à—tête，butwhenshesawastalwartfigureloominginthedistance，shehadastrongdesiretoturnaboutandrunaway。
\"Where’sthejew’s—harp，Jo？\"criedLaurie，assoonashewaswithinspeakingdistance。
\"Iforgotit。\"AndJotookheartagain，forthatsalutationcouldnotbecalledloverlike。
Shealwaysusedtotakehisarmontheseoccasions，nowshedidnot，andhemadenocomplaint，whichwasabadsign，buttalkedonrapidlyaboutallsortsoffarawaysubjects，tilltheyturnedfromtheroadintothelittlepaththatledhomewardthroughthegrove。Thenhewalkedmoreslowly，suddenlylosthisfineflowoflanguage，andnowandthenadreadfulpauseoccurred。Torescuetheconversationfromoneofthewellsofsilenceintowhichitkeptfalling，Josaidhastily，\"Nowyoumusthaveagoodlongholiday！\"
\"Iintendto。\"
SomethinginhisresolutetonemadeJolookupquicklytofindhimlookingdownatherwithanexpressionthatassuredherthedreadedmomenthadcome，andmadeherputoutherhandwithanimploring，\"No，Teddy。Pleasedon’t！\"
\"Iwill，andyoumusthearme。It’snouse，Jo，we’vegottohaveitout，andthesoonerthebetterforbothofus，\"heanswered，gettingflushedandexcitedallatonce。
\"Saywhatyoulikethen。I’lllisten，\"saidJo，withadesperatesortofpatience。
Lauriewasayounglover，buthewasinearnest，andmeantto`haveitout’，ifhediedintheattempt，soheplungedintothesubjectwithcharacteristicimpetuousity，sayinginavoicethatwouldgetchokynowandthen，inspiteofmanfuleffortstokeepitsteady……\"I’velovedyoueversinceI’veknownyou，Jo，couldn’thelpit，you’vebeensogoodtome。I’vetriedtoshowit，butyouwouldn’tletme。NowI’mgoingtomakeyouhear，andgivemeananswer，forIcan’tgoonsoanylonger。\"
\"Iwantedtosaveyouthis。Ithoughtyou’dunderstand……beganJo，findingitagreatdealharderthansheexpected。
\"Iknowyoudid，butthegirlsaresoqueeryouneverknowwhattheymean。Theysaynowhentheymeanyes，anddriveamanoutofhiswitsjustforthefunofit，\"returnedLaurie，entrenchinghimselfbehindanundeniablefact。
\"Idon’t。Ineverwantedtomakeyoucareformeso，andIwentawaytokeepyoufromitifIcould。\"
\"Ithoughtso。Itwaslikeyou，butitwasnouse。Ionlylovedyouallthemore，andIworkedhardtopleaseyou，andIgaveupbilliardsandeverythingyoudidn’tlike，andwaitedandnevercomplained，forIhopedyou’dloveme，thoughI’mnothalfgoodenough……\"Heretherewasachokethatcouldn’tbecontrolled，sohedecapitatedbuttercupswhileheclearedhis`confoundedthroat’。
\"You，youare，you’reagreatdealtoogoodforme，andI’msogratefultoyou，andsoproudandfondofyou，Idon’tknowwhyIcan’tloveyouasyouwantmeto。I’vetried，butIcan’tchangethefeeling，anditwouldbealietosayIdowhenIdon’t。\"
\"Really，truly，Jo？\"
Hestoppedshort，andcaughtbothherhandsasheputhisquestionwithalookthatshedidnotsoonforget。
\"Really，truly，dear。\"
Theywereinthegrovenow，closebythestile，andwhenthelastwordsfellreluctantlyfromJo’slips，Lauriedroppedherhandsandturnedasiftogoon，butforonceinhislifethefencewastoomuchforhim。Sohejustlaidhisheaddownonthemossypost，andstoodsostillthatJowasfrightened。
\"Oh，Teddy，I’msorry，sodesperatelysorry，Icouldkillmyselfifitwoulddoanygood！Iwishyouwouldn’ttakeitsohard，Ican’thelpit。Youknowit’simpossibleforpeopletomakethemselvesloveotherpeopleiftheydon’t，\"criedJoinelegantlybutremorsefully，asshesoftlypattedhisshoulder，rememberingthetimewhenhehadcomfortedhersolongago。
\"Theydosometimes，\"saidamuffledvoicefromthepost。\"Idon’tbelieveit’stherightsortoflove，andI’drathernottryit，\"wasthedecidedanswer。
Therewasalongpause，whileablackbirdsungblithelyonthewillowbytheriver，andthetallgrassrustledinthewind。PresentlyJosaidverysoberly，asshesatdownonthestepofthestile，\"Laurie，Iwanttotellyousomething。\"
Hestartedasifhehadbeenshot，threwuphishead，andcriedoutinafiercetone，\"Don’ttellmethat，Jo，Ican’tbearitnow！\"
\"Tellwhat？\"sheasked，wonderingathisviolence。
\"Thatyoulovethatoldman。\"
\"Whatoldman？\"demandedJo，thinkinghemustmeanhisgrandfather。
\"ThatdevilishProfessoryouwerealwayswritingabout。Ifyousayyoulovehim，IknowIshalldosomethingdesperate。\"Andhelookedasifhewouldkeephisword，asheclenchedhishandswithawrathfulsparkinhiseyes。
Jowantedtolaugh，butrestrainedherselfandsaidwarmly，forshetoo，wasgettingexcitedwithallthis:
\"Don’tswear，Teddy！Heisn’told，noranythingbad，butgoodandkind，andthebestfriendI’vegot，nexttoyou。Pray，don’tflyintoapassion。Iwanttobekind，butIknowIshallgetangryifyouabusemyProfessor。Ihaven’ttheleastideaoflovinghimoranybodyelse。\"
\"Butyouwillafterawhile，andthenwhatwillbecomeofme？\"
\"You’lllovesomeoneelsetoo，likeasensibleboy，andforgetallthistrouble。\"
\"Ican’tloveanyoneelse，andI’llneverforgetyou，Jo，Never！Never！\"withastamptoemphasizehispassionatewords。
\"WhatshallIdowithhim？\"sighedJo，findingthatemotionsweremoreunmanagablethansheexpected。\"Youhaven’theardwhatIwantedtotellyou。Sitdownandlisten，forindeedIwanttodorightandmakeyouhappy，\"shesaid，hopingtosoothehimwithalittlereason，whichprovedthatsheknewnothingaboutlove。
Seeingarayofhopeinthatlastspeech，Lauriethrewhimselfdownonthegrassatherfeet，leanedhisarmonthelowerstepofthestile，andlookedupatherwithanexpectantface。NowthatarrangementwasnotconducivetocalmspeechorclearthoughtonJo’spart，forhowcouldshesayhardthingstoherboywhilehewatchedherwitheyesfullofloveandlonging，andlashesstillwetwiththebitterdroportwoherhardnessofhearthadwrungfromhim？Shegentlyturnedhisheadaway，saying，asshestrokedthewavyhairwhichhadbeenallowedtogrowforhersake——howtouchingthatwas，tobesure！\"IagreewithMotherthatyouandIarenotsuitedtoeachother，becauseourquicktempersandstrongwillswouldprobablymakeusverymiserable，ifweweresofoolishasto……\"Jopausedalittleoverthelastword，butLaurieuttereditwitharapturousexpression。
\"Marry——noweshouldn’t！Ifyoulovedme，Jo，Ishouldbeaperfectsaint，foryoucouldmakemeanythingyoulike。\"
\"No，Ican’t。I’vetriedandfailed，andIwon’triskourhappinessbysuchaseriousexperiment。Wedon’tagreeandwenevershall，sowe’llbegoodfriendsallourlives，butwewon’tgoanddoanythingrash。\"
\"Yes，wewillifwegetthechance，\"mutteredLaurierebelliously。
\"Nowdobereasonable，andtakeasensibleviewofthecase，\"imploredJo，almostatherwit’send。
\"Iwon’tbereasonable。Idon’twanttotakewhatyoucall`asensibleview’。Itwon’thelpme，anditonlymakesitharder。Idon’tbelieveyou’vegotanyheart。\"
\"IwishIhadn’t。\"
TherewasalittlequiverinJo’svoice，andthinkingitagoodomen，Laurieturnedround，bringingallhispersuasivepowerstobearashesaid，inthewheedlesometonethathadneverbeensodangerouslywheedlesomebefore，\"Don’tdisappointus，dear！Everyoneexpectsit。Grandpahassethisheartuponit，yourpeoplelikeit，andIcan’tgetonwithoutyou。Sayyouwill，andlet’sbehappy。Do，do！\"
NotuntilmonthsafterwarddidJounderstandhowshehadthestrengthofmindtoholdfasttotheresolutionshehadmadewhenshedecidedthatshedidnotloveherboy，andnevercould。Itwasveryhardtodo，butshedidit，knowingthatdelaywasbothuselessandcruel。
\"Ican’tsay`yes’truly，soIwon’tsayitatall。You’llseethatI’mright，by—and—by，andthankmeforit……\"shebegansolemnly。
\"I’llbehangedifIdo！\"AndLauriebouncedupoffthegrass，burningwithindignationattheveryidea。