第8章
加入书架 A- A+
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  amongtheAses,andthemajorityoftheconspicuousfailuresamongtheIfs。Idon\'tknowbutthiswouldbeasgoodatestasthatofGideon,——lappingthewaterortakingitupinthehand。Ihaveapoeticalfriendwhoseconversationisstarredasthickwithifsasaboiledhamiswithcloves。Butanotherfriendofmine,abusinessman,whomItrustinmakingmyinvestments,wouldnotletmemeddlewithacertainstockwhichIfancied,because,ashesaid,\"therearetoomanyifsinit。Asitlooksnow,Iwouldn\'ttouchit。\"

  Inoticed,theotherevening,thatsomeprivateconversationwasgoingonbetweentheCounsellorandthetwoAnnexes。Therewasamischievouslookaboutthelittlegroup,andIthoughttheywerehatchingsomeplotamongthem。IdidnothearwhattheEnglishAnnexsaid,buttheAmericangirl\'svoicewassharper,andIoverheardwhatsoundedtomelike,\"ItistimetostirupthatyoungDoctor。\"TheCounsellorlookedveryknowing,andsaidthathewouldfindachancebeforelong。Iwasratheramusedtoseehowreadilyheenteredintotheprojectoftheyoungpeople。Thefactis,theCounsellorisyoungforhistimeoflife;forhealreadybetrayssomesignsofthechangereferredtointhatoncefamiliarstreetsong,whichmyfriend,thegreatAmericansurgeon,inquiredforatthemusic—shopsunderthetitle,ashegotitfromtheItalianminstrel,\"Silvatredimondigoo。\"

  Isaw,soonafterthis,thattheCounsellorwaswatchinghischanceto\"stiruptheyoungDoctor。\"

  Itdoesnotfollow,becauseouryoungDoctor\'sbaldspotisslowerincomingthanhecouldhavewished,thathehasnothadtimetoformmanysoundconclusionsinthecallingtowhichhehasdevotedhimselfVesalius,thefatherofmoderndescriptiveanatomy,publishedhisgreatworkonthatsubjectbeforehewasthirty。Bichat,thegreatanatomistandphysiologist,whodiednearthebeginningofthiscentury,publishedhistreatise,whichmadearevolutioninanatomyandpathology,ataboutthesameage;dyingsoonafterhehadreachedtheageofthirty。So,possiblytheCounsellormayfindthathehas\"stirredup\"ayoungmanwho,cantakecareofhisownhead,incaseofaggressivemovementsinitsdirection。

  \"Well,Doctor,\"theCounsellorbegan,\"howarestocks—inthemeaslesmarketaboutthesetimes?Anycornerinbronchitis?Anysyndicateinthevaccinationbusiness?\"Allthisplayfully。

  \"Ican\'tsayhowitiswithotherpeople\'spatients;mostofmyfamiliesaredoingverywellwithoutmyhelp,atthistime。\"

  \"Dotellme,Doctor,howmanyfamiliesyouown。Ihavehearditsaidthatsomeofourfellow—citizenshavetwodistinctfamilies,butyouspeakasifyouhadadozen。\"

  \"Ihave,butnotsolargeanumberasIshouldlike。Icouldtakecareoffifteenortwentymorewithout:havingtoworktoohard。\"

  \"Why,Doctor,youareasbadasaMormon。Whatdoyoumeanbycallingcertainfamiliesyours?\"

  \"Don\'tyouspeakaboutmyclient?Don\'tyourclientscallyoutheirlawyer?Doesn\'tyourbaker,doesn\'tyourbutcher,speakofthefamilieshesuppliesashisfamilies?\"

  Tobesure,yes,ofcoursetheydo;butIhadanotionthatamanhadasmanydoctorsashehadorganstobedoctored。\"

  \"Well,thereissometruthinthat;butdidyouthinktheold—

  fashionedfamilydoctorwasextinct,afossillikethemegatherium?\"

  \"Why,yes,aftertherecentexperienceofafriendofmine,Ididbegintothinkthattherewouldsoonbenosuchpersonageleftasthatsameold—fashionedfamilydoctor。ShallItellyouwhatthatexperiencewas?\"

  TheyoungDoctorsaidbeshouldbemightilypleasedtohearit。Hewasgoingtobeoneofthoseold—fogypractitionershimself。

  \"Idon\'tknow,\"theCounsellorsaid,\"whethermyfriendgotalltheprofessionaltermsofhisstorycorrectly,norwhetherIhavegotthemfromhimwithoutmakinganymistakes;butifIdomakeblundersinsomeofthequeernames,youcancorrectme。Thisismyfriend\'sstory:

  \"Myfamilydoctor,\'hesaid,\"wasaverysensibleman,educatedataschoolwheretheyprofessedtoteachallthespecialties,butnotconfininghimselftoanyonebranchofmedicalpractice。Surgicalpracticehedidnotprofesstomeddlewith,andthereweresomeclassesofpatientswhomhewaswillingtoleavetothefemalephysician。Butthroughouttherangeofdiseasesnotrequiringexceptionallyskilledmanualinterference,hiseducationhadauthorizedhimtoconsiderhimself,andhedidconsiderhimself,qualifiedtoundertakethetreatmentofallordinarycases—Itsohappenedthatmyyoungwifewasoneofthoseuneasypersonswhoareneverlongcontentedwiththeirhabitualcomfortsandblessings,butalwaystryingtofindsomethingalittlebetter,somethingnewer,atanyrate。Iwasgettingtobenearfiftyyearsold,andithappenedtome,asitnotrarelydoestopeopleataboutthattimeoflife,thatmyhairbegantofallout。Ispokeofittomydoctor,whosmiled,saiditwasapartoftheprocessofreversedevolution,butmightberetardedalittle,andgavemeaprescription。Ididnotfindanygreateffectfromit,andmywifewouldhavemegotoanoteddermatologist。Thedistinguishedspecialistexaminedmydenudedscalpwithgreatcare。Helookedatitthroughastrongmagnifier。Heexaminedthebulbofafallenhairinapowerfulmicroscope。Hedeliberatedforawhile,andthensaid,\"Thisisacaseofalopecia。Itmayperhapsbepartiallyremedied。Iwillgiveyouaprescription。\"Whichhedid,andtoldmetocallagaininafortnight。AttheendofthreemonthsIhadcalledsixtimes,andeachtimegotanewrecipe,anddetectednodifferenceinthecourseofmy\"alopecia。\"AfterIhadgotthroughmytreatment,Ishowedmyrecipestomyfamilyphysician;andwefoundthatthreeofthemwerethesamehehadused,familiar,old—fashionedremedies,andtheothersweretakenfromalistofnewandlittle—triedprescriptionsmentionedinoneofthelastmedicaljournals,whichwaslyingontheolddoctor\'stable。Imightaswellhavegotnobetterunderhischarge,andshouldhavegotoffmuchcheaper。

  \"ThenexttroubleIhadwasalittlerednessoftheeyes,forwhichmydoctorgavemeawash;butmywifewouldhaveitthatImustseeanoculist。SoImadefourvisitstoanoculist,andatthelastvisittherednesswasnearlygone,——asitoughttohavebeenbythattime。Thespecialistcalledmycomplaintconjunctivitis,butthatdidnotmakeitfeelanybetternorgetwellanyquicker。IfIhadhadacataractoranygravediseaseoftheeye,requiringaniceoperationonthatdelicateorgan,ofcourseIshouldhaveproperlysoughttheaidofanexpert,whoseeye,hand,andjudgmentweretrainedtothatspecialbusiness;butinthiscaseIdon\'tdoubtthatmyfamilydoctorwouldhavedonejustaswellastheexpert。

  However,Ihadtoobeyorders,andmywifewouldhaveitthatI

  shouldentrustmypreciouspersononlytothemostskilfulspecialistineachdepartmentofmedicalpractice。

  \"InthecourseoftheyearIexperiencedavarietyofslightindispositions。FortheseIwasauriscopedbyanaurist,laryngoscopedbyalaryngologist,auscultedbyastethoscopist,andsoon,untilacompleteinventoryofmyorganswasmadeout,andI

  foundthatifIbelievedallthesesearchinginquirersprofessedtohavedetectedinmyunfortunateperson,IcouldrepeatwithtooliteraltruththewordsoftheGeneralConfession,\"Andthereisnohealthinus。\"Ineverheardsomanyhardnamesinallmylife。I

  provedtobethesubjectofalongcatalogueofdiseases,andwhatmaladiesIwasnotmanifestlyguiltyofIwasatleastsuspectedofharboring。Iwashandedalongallthewayfromalopecia,whichusedtobecalledbaldness,tozoster,whichusedtobeknownasshingles。

  Iwasthepatientofmorethanadozenspecialists。Verypleasantpersons,manyofthem,butwhatafusstheymadeaboutmytriflingincommodities!Pleaselookatthatphotograph。Seeifthereisaminuteelevationunderoneeye。\'

  \"\'Onwhichside?\'Iaskedhim,forIcouldnotbesuretherewasanythingdifferentononesidefromwhatIsawontheother。

  \"\'Underthelefteye。Icalleditapimple;thespecialistcalleditacne。Nowlookatthisphotograph。Itwastakenaftermyacnehadbeenthreemonthsundertreatment。Itshowsalittlemoredistinctlythaninthefirstphotograph,doesn\'tit?\'

  \"\'Ithinkitdoes,\'Ianswered。\'Itdoesn\'tseemtomethatyougainedagreatdealbyleavingyourcustomaryadviserforthespecialist。\'

  \"\'Well,\'myfriendcontinued,\'followingmywife\'surgentcounsel,I

  kepton,asItoldyou,forawholeyearwithmyspecialists,goingfromheadtofoot,andtaperingoffwithachiropodist。Igotadealofamusementoutoftheircontrivancesandexperiments。Someofthemlightedupmyinternalsurfaceswithelectricalorotherilluminatingapparatus。Thermometers,dynamometers,exploring—tubes,littlemirrorsthatwenthalf—waydowntomystomach,tuning—forks,ophthalmoscopes,percussion—hammers,singleanddoublestethoscopes,speculums,sphygmometers,——suchabatteryofdetectiveinstrumentsI

  hadneverimagined。Alluseful,Idon\'tdoubt;butattheendoftheyearIbegantoquestionwhetherIshouldn\'thavedoneaboutaswelltosticktomylongtriedpractitioner。Whenthebillsfor\"professionalservices\"camein,andthenewcarpethadtobegivenup,andtheoldbonnettrimmedoveragain,andthesealskinsackremainedavision,webothagreed,mywifeandI,thatwewouldtrytogetalongwithoutconsultingspecialists,exceptinsuchcasesasourfamilyphysicianconsideredtobebeyondhisskill。\'\"

  TheCounsellor\'sstoryofhisfriend\'sexperiencesseemedtopleasetheyoungDoctorverymuch。It\"stirredhimup,\"butinanagreeableway;for,ashesaid,hemeanttodevotehimselftofamilypractice,andnottoadoptanylimitedclassofcasesasaspecialty。IlikedhisviewssowellthatIshouldhavebeenreadytoadoptthemasmyown,iftheyhadbeenchallenged。

  TheyoungDoctordiscourses。

  \"Iamveryglad,\"hesaid,\"thatwehaveanumberofpractitionersamonguswhoconfinethemselvestothecareofsingleorgansandtheirfunctions。Iwanttobeabletoconsultanoculistwhohasdonenothingbutattendtoeyeslongenoughtoknowallthatisknownabouttheirdiseasesandtheirtreatment,——skilfulenoughtobetrustedwiththemanipulationofthatdelicateandmostpreciousorgan。Iwantanauristwhoknowsallabouttheearandwhatcanbedoneforitsdisorders。Themaladiesofthelarynxareveryticklishthingstohandle,andnobodyshouldbetrustedtogobehindtheepiglottiswhohasnotthetactuseruditus。Andsoofcertainotherparticularclassesofcomplaints。Agreatcitymusthavealimitednumberofexperts,eachafinalauthority,tobeappealedtoincaseswherethefamilyphysicianfindshimselfindoubt。Thereareoperationswhichnosurgeonshouldbewillingtoundertakeunlesshehaspaidaparticular,ifnotanexclusive,attentiontothecasesdemandingsuchoperations。AllthisIwillinglygrant。

  \"ButitmustnotbesupposedthatwecanreturntothemethodsoftheoldEgyptians——who,ifmymemoryservesmecorrectly,hadaspecialphysicianforeverypartofthebody——withoutfallingintocertainerrorsandincurringcertainliabilities。

  \"Thespecialistismuchlikeotherpeopleengagedinlucrativebusiness。Heisapttomagnifyhiscalling,tomakemuchofanysymptomwhichwillbringapatientwithinrangeofhisbatteryofremedies。Ifoundacaseinoneofourmedicaljournals,acoupleofyearsago,whichillustrateswhatImean。Dr。___________ofPhiladelphia,hadafemalepatientwithacrookednose,——deviatedseptum,ifouryoungscholarslikethatbetter。Shewassufferingfromwhatthedoctorcalledreflexheadache。Shehadbeentoanoculist,whofoundthatthetroublewasinhereyes。Shewentfromhimtoagynecologist,whoconsideredherheadacheasowingtocausesforwhichhisspecialtyhadtheremedies。Howmanymorespecialistswouldhaveappropriatedher,ifshehadgonetheroundsofthemall,Idarenotguess;butyouremembertheoldstoryofthesiege,inwhicheachartisanproposedmeansofdefencewhichbehimselfwasreadytofurnish。Thenashoemakersaid,\'Hangyourwallswithnewboots。\'

  \"Humannatureisthesamewithmedicalspecialistsasitwaswithancientcordwainers,anditistoopossiblethatahungrypractitionermaybewarpedbyhisinterestinfasteningonapatientwho,ashepersuadeshimself,comesunderhismedicaljurisdiction。

  Thespecialisthasbutonefangwithwhichtoseizeandboldhisprey,butthatfangisafearfullylongandsharpcanine。Beingconfinedtoanarrowfieldofobservationandpractice,heisapttogivemuchofhistimetocuriousstudy,whichmaybemagnifique,butisnotexactlylaguerreagainstthepatient\'smalady。Hedividesandsubdivides,andgetsmanyvarietiesofdiseases,inmostrespectssimilar。Theseheequipswithnewnames,andthuswehavethoseterrificnomenclatureswhichareenoughtofrightenthemedicalstudent,tosaynothingofthesufferersstaggeringunderthislongcatalogueoflocalinfirmities。The\'old—fogy\'doctor,whoknowsthefamilytendenciesofhispatient,who\'understandshisconstitution,\'

  willoftentreathimbetterthanthefamousspecialist,whoseeshimforthefirsttime,andhastoguessatmanythings\'theolddoctor\'

  knowsfromhispreviousexperiencewiththesamepatientandthefamilytowhichhebelongs。

  \"Itisagreatluxurytopractiseasaspecialistinalmostanyclassofdiseases。Thespecialpractitionerhashisownhours,hardlyneedsanight—bell,canhavehisresidenceoutofthetowninwhichheexerciseshiscalling,inshort,liveslikeagentleman;whilethehard—workedgeneralpractitionersubmitstoaservitudemoreexactingthanthatofthemanwhoisemployedinhisstableorinhiskitchen。

  ThatisthekindoflifeIhavemadeupmymindto。\"

  Theteaspoonstinkledallroundthetable。Thiswastheusualsignofapprobation,insteadoftheclappingofhands。

  TheyoungDoctorpaused,andlookedroundamongTheTeacups。\"Ibegyourpardon,\"hesaid,\"fortakingupsomuchofyourtimewithmedicine。Itisasubjectthatagoodmanypersons,especiallyladies,takeaninterestinandhaveacuriosityabout,butIhavenorighttoturnthistea—tableintoalectureplatform。\"

  \"Weshouldliketohearyoutalklongeraboutit,\"saidtheEnglishAnnex。\"Oneofushasthoughtofdevotingherselftothepracticeofmedicine。Wouldyoulecturetous;ifyouwereaprofessorinoneofthegreatmedicalschools?\"

  \"Lecturetostudentsofyoursex?Whynot,Ishouldliketoknow?I

  don\'tthinkitisthecallingforwhichtheaveragewomanisespeciallyadapted,butmyteachergotapartofhismedicaleducationfromalady,MadameLachapelle;andIdon\'tseewhy,ifonecanlearnfromawoman,hemaynotteachawoman,ifheknowsenough。\"

  \"Wealllikealittlemedicaltalknowandthen,\"saidNumberFive,\"andwearemuchobligedtoyouforyourdiscourse。Youarespecialistenoughtotakecareofasprainedankle,Isuppose,areyounot?\"

  \"IhopeIshouldbeequaltothatemergency,\"answeredtheyoungDoctor;\"butItrustyouarenotsufferingfromanysuchaccident?\"

  \"No,\"saidNumberFive,\"butthereisnotellingwhatmayhappen。I

  mightslip,andgetasprainorbreakasinew,orsomething,andI

  shouldliketoknowthatthereisapractitionerathandtotakecareofmyinjury。IthinkIwouldriskmyselfinyourbands,althoughyouarenotaspecialist。Wouldyouventuretotakechargeofthecase?\"

  \"Ah,mydearlady,\"heansweredgallantly,\"theriskwouldbeintheotherdirection。IamafraiditwouldbesaferforyourdoctorifhewereanoldermanthanIam。\"

  Thisisthefirstclearly,indisputablysentimentaloutbreakwhichhashappenedinconversationatourtable。Itrembletothinkwhatwillcomeofit;forwehaveseveralinflammableelementsinourcircle,andasparklikethisisliabletolightonanyoneortwoofthem。

  Iwasnotsorrythatthismedicalepisodecameintovarytheusualcourseoftalkatourtable。Iliketohaveone——ofanintelligentcompany,whoknowsanythingthoroughly,holdthefloorforatime,anddiscourseuponthesubjectwhichchieflyengageshisdailythoughtsandfurnisheshishabitualoccupation。Itisaprivilegetomeetsuchapersonnowandthen,andlethimhavehisfullswing。

  Butbecausethereare\"professionals\"towhomwearewillingtolistenasoracles,Idonotwanttoseeeverybodywhoisnota\"professional\"silencedorsnubbed,ifheventuresintoanyfieldofknowledgewhichhehasnotmadeespeciallyhisown。IliketoreadMontaigne\'sremarksaboutdoctors,thoughhenevertookamedicaldegree。IcanevenenjoythetruthinthesharpsatireofVoltaireonthemedicalprofession。IfrequentlyprefertheremarksIhearfromthepewafterthesermontothoseIhavejustbeenhearingfromthepulpit。ThereareagreatmanythingswhichIneverexpecttocomprehend,butwhichIdesireverymuchtoapprehend。SupposethatourcircleofTeacupsweremadeupofspecialists,——expertsinvariousdepartments。Ishouldbeverywillingthateachoneshouldhavehisinningsatthepropertime,whenthecompanywerereadyforhim。Butthetimeiscomingwheneverybodywillknowsomethingabouteverything。Howcanonehavetheillustratedmagazines,the\"PopularScienceMonthly,\"thePsychologicaljournals,thetheologicalperiodicals,booksonallsubjects,forcedonhisattention,intheirownpersons,sotospeak,orinthereviewswhichanalyzeandpassjudgmentuponthem,withoutgettingsomeideaswhichbelongtomanyprovincesofhumanintelligence?Theairwebreatheismadeupoffourelements,atleast:oxygen,nitrogen,carbonicacidgas,andknowledge。Thereissomethingquitedelightfultowitnessintheabsorptionanddevotionofagenuinespecialist。

  ThereisacertainsublimityinthatpictureofthedyingscholarinBrowning\'s\"AGrammarian\'sFuneral:\"——

  \"Sowiththethrottlinghandsofdeathatstrife,Groundheatgrammar;

  Still,throughtherattle,partsofspeechwererife;

  WhilehecouldstammerHesettledHoti\'sbusiness——letitbe——

  ProperlybasedOunGaveusthedoctrineoftheencliticDe,Deadfromthewaistdown。\"

  Agenuineenthusiasm,whichwillneverbesatisfieduntilithaspumpedthewelldryatthebottomofwhichtruthislying,alwaysexcitesourinterest,ifnotouradmiration。

  OneofthepleasantestofourAmericanwriters,whomweallrememberasIkMarvel,andgreetinhismorerecentappearanceasDonaldGrantMitchell,speaksoftheawkwardnesswhichhefeelsinofferingtothepublica\"panoramicviewofBritishwritersinthesedaysofspecialists,——whenstudentsdevotehalfalifetimetotheanalysisoftheworksofasingleauthor,andtotheproperstudyofasingleperiod。\"

  Heneednothavefearedthathisconnectedsketchesof\"EnglishLands,LettersandKings\"wouldbeanylesswelcomebecausetheydonotpretendtofillupallthedetailsorcoveralltheincidentstheyhintinvividoutline。HowmanyofuseverreadoreverwillreadDrayton\'s\"Poly—Olbion?\"TwentythousandlongAlexandrinesarefilledwithadmirabledescriptionsofscenery,naturalproductions,andhistoricalevents,buthowmanyofusinthesedayshavetimetoreadandinwardlydigesttwentythousandAlexandrineverses?Ifearthatthespecialistisapttoholdhisintelligentreaderorhearertoocheap。SofarasIhaveobservedinmedicalspecialties,whatheknowsinadditiontotheknowledgeofthewell—taughtgeneralpractitionerisverylargelycuriousratherthanimportant。Havingexhaustedallthatispractical,thespecialistisnaturallytemptedtoamusehimselfwiththenaturalhistoryoftheorganorfunctionhedealswith;tofeelasawriting—masterdoeswhenhesetsacopy,——

  notcontenttoshapethelettersproperly,buthemustaddflourishesandfancyfigures,toletoffhisspareenergy。

  Iambeginningtobefrightened。WhenIbeganthesepapers,myideawasaverysimpleandinnocentone。Herewasamixedcompany,ofvariousconditions,asIhavealreadytoldmyreaders,whocametogetherregularly,andbeforetheywereawareofitformedsomethinglikeacluborassociation。AsIwasthepatriarchamongthem,theygavemethenamesomeofyoumayneedtoberemindedof;forasthesereportsarepublishedatintervals,youmaynotrememberthefactthatIamwhatTheTeacupshaveseenfittocallTheDictator。

  Now,whatdidIexpectwhenIbeganthesepapers,andwhatisitthathasbeguntofrightenme?

  Iexpectedtoreportgraveconversationsandlightcolloquialpassagesofarmsamongthemembersofthecircle。Iexpectedtohear,perhapstoread,apapernowandthen。Iexpectedtohave,fromtimetotime,apoemfromsomeoneofTheTeacups,forIfeltsuretheremustbeamongthemoneormorepoets,——Teacupsofthefinerandrarertranslucentkindofporcelain,tospeakmetaphorically。

  OutoftheseconversationsandwrittencontributionsIthoughtI

  mightmakeupareadableseriesofpapers;anotwhollyunwelcomestringofrecollections,anticipations,suggestions,toooftenperhapsrepetitions,thatwouldbetothetwilightwhatmyearlierserieshadbeentothemorning。

  IhopedalsothatIshouldcomeintopersonalrelationswithmyoldconstituency,ifImaycallmynearerfriends,andthosemoredistantoneswhobelongtomyreadingparish,bythatname。ItistimethatIshould。Ireceivedthisblessedmorning——Iamtellingtheliteraltruth——ahighlyflatteringobituaryofmyselfintheshapeofanextractfrom\"LeNational\"ofthe10thofFebruarylast。Thisisabi—weeklynewspaper,publishedinFrench,inthecityofPlattsburg,ClintonCounty,NewYork。IamoccasionallyremindedbymyunknownfriendsthatImusthurryuptheirautograph,ormakehastetocopythatpoemtheywishtohaveintheauthor\'sownhandwriting,oritwillbetoolate;butIhaveneverbeforebeenhuddledoutoftheworldinthisway。Itakethisratherprematureobituaryasahintthat,unlessIcometosomearrangementwithmywell—meaningbutinsatiablecorrespondents,itwouldbeaswelltoleaveitintype,forIcannotbearmuchlongertheloadtheylayuponme。IwillexplainmyselfonthispointafterIhavetoldmyreaderswhathasfrightenedme。

  Iambeginningtothinkthisroomwherewetakeourteaismorelikeatinder—boxthanaquietandsafeplacefor\"apartyinaparlor。\"

  Itistruethatthereareatleasttwoorthreeincombustiblesatourtable,butitlookstomeasifthecompanymightpairoffbeforetheseasonisover,likethecrewofHerMajesty\'sshiptheMantelpiece,——threeorfourweddingsclearourwholetableofallbutoneortwooftheimpregnables。Thepoemwefoundinthesugar—bowllastweekfirstopenedmyeyestotheprobablestateofthings。Now,theideaofhavingtotellalove—story,——perhapstwoorthreelove—stories,——whenIsetoutwiththeintentionofrepeatinginstructive,useful,orentertainingdiscussions,naturallyalarmsme。Itisquitetruethatmanythingswhichlooktomesuspiciousmaybesimplyplayful。

  Youngpeople(andwehaveseveralsuchamongTheTeacups)arefondofmake—believecourtingwhentheycannothavetherealthing,—

  \"flirting,\"asitusedtobepractisedinthedaysofArcadianinnocence,notthemoremodernandmorequestionablerecreationwhichhasreachedusfromthehomeofthecicisbeo。Whatevercomesofit,IshalltellwhatIsee,andtaketheconsequences。

  ButIamatthismomentgoingtotalkinmyownproperpersontomyownparticularpublic,which,asIfindbymycorrespondence,isaveryconsiderableone,andwithwhichIconsidermyselfinexceptionallypleasantrelations。

  IhavereadrecentlythatMr。Gladstonereceivessixhundredlettersaday。Perhapshedoesnotreceivesixhundredletterseveryday,butifhegetsanythinglikehalfthatnumberdaily,whatcanhedowiththem?Therewasatimewhenhewassaidtoanswerallhiscorrespondents。Itisunderstood,Ithink,thathehasgivenupdoingsointheselaterdays。

  IdonotpretendthatIreceivesixhundredorevensixtylettersaday,butIdoreceiveagoodmany,andhavetoldthepublicofthefactfromtimetotime,underthepressureoftheirconstantlyincreasingexertions。Asitisextremelyonerous,andissoongoingtobeimpossible,formetokeepupthewiderangeofcorrespondencewhichhasbecomealargepartofmyoccupation,andtendstoabsorballthevitalforcewhichisleftme,Iwishtoenterintoafinalexplanationwiththewell—meaningbutmercilesstaskmasterswhohavenowformanyyearsbeenlevyingtheirdailytaxuponme。Ihavepreservedthousandsoftheirletters,anddestroyedaverylargenumber,afteransweringmostofthem。AfewinterestingchaptersmightbemadeoutofthelettersIhavekept,——notonlysuchasaresignedbythenamesofwell—knownpersonages,butmanyfromunknownfriends,ofwhomIhadneverheardbeforeandhaveneverheardsince。

  Agreatdealofthebestwritingthelanguagesoftheworldhaveeverknownhasbeencommittedtoleavesthatwitheredoutofsightbeforeasecondsunlighthadfallenuponthem。IhavehadmanylettersI

  shouldhavelikedtogivethepublic,hadtheirnatureadmittedoftheirbeingofferedtotheworld。Whatstragglesofyoungambition,findingnoplaceforitsenergies,orfeelingitsincapacitytoreachtheidealtowardswhichitwasstriving!Whatlongingsofdisappointed,defeatedfellow—mortals,tryingtofindanewhomeforthemselvesintheheartofonewhomtheyhaveamiablyidealized!Andoh,whathopelesseffortsofmediocritiesandinferiorities,believinginthemselvesassuperiorities,andstumblingonthroughlimpingdisappointmentstoprostratefailure!Povertycomespleading,notforcharity,forthemostpart,butimploringustofindapurchaserforitsunmarketablewares。Theunreadableauthorparticularlyrequestsustomakeacriticalexaminationofhisbook,andreporttohimwhatevermaybeourverdict,——asifhewantedanythingbutourpraise,andthatveryoftentobeusedinhispublisher\'sadvertisements。

  Butwhatdoesnotonehavetosubmittowhohasbecomethemartyr——

  theSaintSebastian——ofaliterarycorrespondence!Iwillnotdwellonthepossibleimpressionproducedonasensitivenaturebyreadingone\'sownprematureobituary,asIhavetoldyouhasbeenmyrecentexperience。Iwillnotstoptothinkwhethertheurgentrequestforanautographbyreturnpost,inviewofthepossiblecontingencieswhichmightrenderitthelastonewasevertowrite,ispleasingornot。Atthreescoreandtwentyonemustexpectsuchhintsofwhatisliketohappenbeforelong。Isuppose,ifsomenearfriendweretowatchonewhowaslookingoversuchapressingletter,hemightpossiblyseeaslightshadowflitoverthereader\'sfeatures,andsomesuchdialoguemightfollowasthatbetweenOthelloandIago,after\"thishonestcreature\"hasbeengivingbreathtohissuspicionsaboutDesdemona:

  \"Iseethishathalittledash\'dyourspirits。

  Notajot,notajot。

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