Johnbenthishead;hisGreekfacewasbroughttoalevelwithmine，hiseyesquestionedmyeyespiercingly—hekissedme。Therearenosuchthingsasmarblekissesoricekisses，orIshouldsaymyecclesiasticalcousin\'ssalutebelongedtooneoftheseclasses;buttheremaybeexperimentkisses，andhiswasanexperimentkiss。Whengiven，heviewedmetolearntheresult;itwasnotstriking:IamsureIdidnotblush;perhapsImighthaveturnedalittlepale，forI
feltasifthiskisswereasealaffixedtomyfetters。Heneveromittedtheceremonyafterwards，andthegravityandquiescencewithwhichIunderwentit，seemedtoinvestitforhimwithacertaincharm。
Asforme，Idailywishedmoretopleasehim;buttodoso，I
feltdailymoreandmorethatImustdisownhalfmynature，stiflehalfmyfaculties，wrestmytastesfromtheiroriginalbent，forcemyselftotheadoptionofpursuitsforwhichIhadnonaturalvocation。HewantedtotrainmetoanelevationIcouldneverreach;
itrackedmehourlytoaspiretothestandardheuplifted。Thethingwasasimpossibleastomouldmyirregularfeaturestohiscorrectandclassicpattern，togivetomychangeablegreeneyesthesea—bluetintandsolemnlustreofhisown。
Nothisascendancyalone，however，heldmeinthrallatpresent。Oflateithadbeeneasyenoughformetolooksad:acankeringevilsatinmyheartanddrainedmyhappinessatitssource—theevilofsuspense。
PerhapsyouthinkIhadforgottenMr。Rochester，reader，amidstthesechangesofplaceandfortune。Notforamoment。Hisideawasstillwithme，becauseitwasnotavapoursunshinecoulddisperse，norasand—tracedeffigystormscouldwashaway;itwasanamegravenonatablet，fatedtolastaslongasthemarbleitinscribed。Thecravingtoknowwhathadbecomeofhimfollowedmeeverywhere;whenIwasatMorton，Ire—enteredmycottageeveryeveningtothinkofthat;andnowatMoorHouse，Isoughtmybedroomeachnighttobroodoverit。
InthecourseofmynecessarycorrespondencewithMr。Briggsaboutthewill，IhadinquiredifheknewanythingofMr。
Rochester\'spresentresidenceandstateofhealth;but，asSt。Johnhadconjectured，hewasquiteignorantofallconcerninghim。IthenwrotetoMrs。Fairfax，entreatinginformationonthesubject。Ihadcalculatedwithcertaintyonthisstepansweringmyend:Ifeltsureitwouldelicitanearlyanswer。Iwasastonishedwhenafortnightpassedwithoutreply;butwhentwomonthsworeaway，anddayafterdaythepostarrivedandbroughtnothingforme，Ifellapreytothekeenestanxiety。
Iwroteagain:therewasachanceofmyfirstletterhavingmissed。
Renewedhopefollowedrenewedeffort:itshoneliketheformerforsomeweeks，then，likeit，itfaded，flickered:notaline，notawordreachedme。Whenhalfayearwastedinvainexpectancy，myhopediedout，andthenIfeltdarkindeed。
Afinespringshoneroundme，whichIcouldnotenjoy。
Summerapproached;Dianatriedtocheerme:shesaidIlookedill，andwishedtoaccompanymetothesea—side。ThisSt。Johnopposed;hesaidI
didnotwantdissipation，Iwantedemployment;mypresentlifewastoopurposeless，Irequiredanaim;and，Isuppose，bywayofsupplyingdeficiencies，heprolongedstillfurthermylessonsinHindostanee，andgrewmoreurgentinrequiringtheiraccomplishment:andI，likeafool，neverthoughtofresistinghim—Icouldnotresisthim。
OnedayIhadcometomystudiesinlowerspiritsthanusual;theebbwasoccasionedbyapoignantlyfeltdisappointment。Hannahhadtoldmeinthemorningtherewasaletterforme，andwhenIwentdowntotakeit，almostcertainthatthelong—looked—fortidingswerevouchsafedmeatlast，IfoundonlyanunimportantnotefromMr。
Briggsonbusiness。Thebittercheckhadwrungfrommesometears;andnow，asIsatporingoverthecrabbedcharactersandflourishingtropesofanIndianscribe，myeyesfilledagain。
St。Johncalledmetohissidetoread;inattemptingtodothismyvoicefailedme:wordswerelostinsobs。HeandIweretheonlyoccupantsoftheparlour:Dianawaspractisinghermusicinthedrawing—room，Marywasgardening—itwasaveryfineMayday，clear，sunny，andbreezy。Mycompanionexpressednosurpriseatthisemotion，nordidhequestionmeastoitscause;heonlysaid—
\'Wewillwaitafewminutes，Jane，tillyouaremorecomposed。\'
AndwhileIsmotheredtheparoxysmwithallhaste，hesatcalmandpatient，leaningonhisdesk，andlookinglikeaphysicianwatchingwiththeeyeofscienceanexpectedandfullyunderstoodcrisisinapatient\'smalady。Havingstifledmysobs，wipedmyeyes，andmutteredsomethingaboutnotbeingverywellthatmorning，Iresumedmytask，andsucceededincompletingit。St。Johnputawaymybooksandhis，lockedhisdesk，andsaid—
\'Now，Jane，youshalltakeawalk;andwithme。\'
\'IwillcallDianaandMary。\'
\'No;Iwantonlyonecompanionthismorning，andthatmustbeyou。Putonyourthings;gooutbythekitchen—door:taketheroadtowardstheheadofMarshGlen:Iwilljoinyouinamoment。\'
Iknownomedium:Ineverinmylifehaveknownanymediuminmydealingswithpositive，hardcharacters，antagonistictomyown，betweenabsolutesubmissionanddeterminedrevolt。Ihavealwaysfaithfullyobservedtheone，uptotheverymomentofbursting，sometimeswithvolcanicvehemence，intotheother;andasneitherpresentcircumstanceswarranted，normypresentmoodinclinedmetomutiny，IobservedcarefulobediencetoSt。John\'sdirections;andintenminutesIwastreadingthewildtrackoftheglen，sidebysidewithhim。
Thebreezewasfromthewest:itcameoverthehills，sweetwithscentsofheathandrush;theskywasofstainlessblue;thestreamdescendingtheravine，swelledwithpastspringrains，pouredalongplentifulandclear，catchinggoldengleamsfromthesun，andsapphiretintsfromthefirmament。Asweadvancedandleftthetrack，wetrodasoftturf，mossyfineandemeraldgreen，minutelyenamelledwithatinywhiteflower，andspangledwithastar—likeyellowblossom:thehills，meantime，shutusquitein;fortheglen，towardsitshead，woundtotheirverycore。
\'Letusresthere，\'saidSt。John，aswereachedthefirststragglersofabattalionofrocks，guardingasortofpass，beyondwhichthebeckrusheddownawaterfall;andwhere，stillalittlefarther，themountainshookoffturfandflower，hadonlyheathforraimentandcragforgem—whereitexaggeratedthewildtothesavage，andexchangedthefreshforthefrowning—whereitguardedtheforlornhopeofsolitude，andalastrefugeforsilence。
Itookaseat:St。Johnstoodnearme。Helookedupthepassanddownthehollow;hisglancewanderedawaywiththestream，andreturnedtotraversetheuncloudedheavenwhichcolouredit:heremovedhishat，letthebreezestirhishairandkisshisbrow。Heseemedincommunionwiththegeniusofthehaunt:withhiseyehebadefarewelltosomething。
\'AndIshallseeitagain，\'hesaidaloud，\'indreamswhenI
sleepbytheGanges:andagaininamoreremotehour—whenanotherslumberovercomesme—ontheshoreofadarkerstream！\'
Strangewordsofastrangelove！Anausterepatriot\'spassionforhisfatherland！Hesatdown;forhalfanhourweneverspoke;
neitherhetomenorItohim:thatintervalpast，herecommenced—
\'Jane，Igoinsixweeks;IhavetakenmyberthinanEastIndiamanwhichsailsonthe20thofJune。\'
\'Godwillprotectyou;foryouhaveundertakenHiswork，\'
I
answered。
\'Yes，\'saidhe，\'thereismygloryandjoy。IamtheservantofaninfallibleMaster。Iamnotgoingoutunderhumanguidance，subjecttothedefectivelawsanderringcontrolofmyfeeblefellow—worms:
myking，mylawgiver，mycaptain，istheAll—perfect。Itseemsstrangetomethatallroundmedonotburntoenlistunderthesamebanner，—
tojoininthesameenterprise。\'
\'AllhavenotYourpowers，anditwouldbefollyforthefeebletowishtomarchwiththestrong。\'
\'Idonotspeaktothefeeble，orthinkofthem:Iaddressonlysuchasareworthyofthework，andcompetenttoaccomplishit。\'
\'Thosearefewinnumber，anddifficulttodiscover。\'
\'Yousaytruly;butwhenfound，itisrighttostirthemup—tourgeandexhortthemtotheeffort—toshowthemwhattheirgiftsare，andwhytheyweregiven—tospeakHeaven\'smessageintheirear，—toofferthem，directfromGod，aplaceintheranksofHischosen。\'
\'Iftheyarereallyqualifiedforthetask，willnottheirownheartsbethefirsttoinformthemofit？\'
Ifeltasifanawfulcharmwasframingroundandgatheringoverme:Itrembledtohearsomefatalwordspokenwhichwouldatoncedeclareandrivetthespell。
\'Andwhatdoesyourheartsay？\'demandedSt。John。
\'Myheartismute—myheartismute，\'Ianswered，struckandthrilled。
\'ThenImustspeakforit，\'continuedthedeep，relentlessvoice。
\'Jane，comewithmetoIndia:comeasmyhelpmeetandfellow—labourer。\'
Theglenandskyspunround:thehillsheaved！ItwasasifIhadheardasummonsfromHeaven—asifavisionarymessenger，likehimofMacedonia，hadenounced，\'Comeoverandhelpus！\'ButIwasnoapostle，—Icouldnotbeholdtheherald，—Icouldnotreceivehiscall。
\'Oh，St。John！\'Icried，\'havesomemercy！\'
Iappealedtoonewho，inthedischargeofwhathebelievedhisduty，knewneithermercynorremorse。Hecontinued—
\'Godandnatureintendedyouforamissionary\'swife。Itisnotpersonal，butmentalendowmentstheyhavegivenyou:youareformedforlabour，notforlove。Amissionary\'swifeyoumust—shallbe。
Youshallbemine:Iclaimyou—notformypleasure，butformySovereign\'sservice。\'
\'Iamnotfitforit:Ihavenovocation，\'Isaid。
Hehadcalculatedonthesefirstobjections:hewasnotirritatedbythem。Indeed，asheleanedbackagainstthecragbehindhim，foldedhisarmsonhischest，andfixedhiscountenance，Isawhewaspreparedforalongandtryingopposition，andhadtakeninastockofpatiencetolasthimtoitsclose—resolved，however，thatthatcloseshouldbeconquestforhim。
\'Humility，Jane，\'saidhe，\'isthegroundworkofChristianvirtues:
yousayrightthatyouarenotfitforthework。Whoisfitforit？
Orwho，thateverwastrulycalled，believedhimselfworthyofthesummons？I，forinstance，ambutdustandashes。WithSt。Paul，I
acknowledgemyselfthechiefestofsinners;butIdonotsufferthissenseofmypersonalvilenesstodauntme。IknowmyLeader:thatHeisjustaswellasmighty;andwhileHehaschosenafeebleinstrumenttoperformagreattask，Hewill，fromtheboundlessstoresofHisprovidence，supplytheinadequacyofthemeanstotheend。Thinklikeme，Jane—trustlikeme。ItistheRockofAgesIaskyoutoleanon:donotdoubtbutitwillbeartheweightofyourhumanweakness。\'
\'Idonotunderstandamissionarylife:Ihaveneverstudiedmissionarylabours。\'
\'ThereI，humbleasIam，cangiveyoutheaidyouwant:
Icansetyouyourtaskfromhourtohour;standbyyoualways;helpyoufrommomenttomoment。ThisIcoulddointhebeginning:soon（forI
knowyourpowers）youwouldbeasstrongandaptasmyself，andwouldnotrequiremyhelp。\'
\'Butmypowers—wherearetheyforthisundertaking？I
donotfeelthem。Nothingspeaksorstirsinmewhileyoutalk。Iamsensibleofnolightkindling—nolifequickening—novoicecounsellingorcheering。Oh，IwishIcouldmakeyouseehowmuchmymindisatthismomentlikearaylessdungeon，withoneshrinkingfearfetteredinitsdepths—thefearofbeingpersuadedbyyoutoattemptwhatI
cannotaccomplish！\'
\'Ihaveananswerforyou—hearit。Ihavewatchedyoueversincewefirstmet:Ihavemadeyoumystudyfortenmonths。Ihaveprovedyouinthattimebysundrytests:andwhathaveIseenandelicited？
InthevillageschoolIfoundyoucouldperformwell，punctually，uprightly，labouruncongenialtoyourhabitsandinclinations;Isawyoucouldperformitwithcapacityandtact:youcouldwinwhileyoucontrolled。Inthecalmwithwhichyoulearntyouhadbecomesuddenlyrich，IreadamindclearoftheviceofDemas:—lucrehadnounduepoweroveryou。Intheresolutereadinesswithwhichyoucutyourwealthintofourshares，keepingbutonetoyourself，andrelinquishingthethreeotherstotheclaimofabstractjustice，I
recognisedasoulthatrevelledintheflameandexcitementofsacrifice。Inthetractabilitywithwhich，atmywish，youforsookastudyinwhichyouwereinterested，andadoptedanotherbecauseitinterestedme;intheuntiringassiduitywithwhichyouhavesinceperseveredinit—intheunflaggingenergyandunshakentemperwithwhichyouhavemetitsdifficulties—IacknowledgethecomplementofthequalitiesIseek。Jane，youaredocile，diligent，disinterested，faithful，constant，andcourageous;verygentle，andveryheroic:
ceasetomistrustyourself—Icantrustyouunreservedly。AsaconductressofIndianschools，andahelperamongstIndianwomen，yourassistancewillbetomeinvaluable。\'
Myironshroudcontractedroundme;persuasionadvancedwithslow，surestep。ShutmyeyesasIwould，theselastwordsofhissucceededinmakingtheway，whichhadseemedblockedup，comparativelyclear。Mywork，whichhadappearedsovague，sohopelesslydiffuse，condenseditselfasheproceeded，andassumedadefiniteformunderhisshapinghand。Hewaitedforananswer。I
demandedaquarterofanhourtothink，beforeIagainhazardedareply。
\'Verywillingly，\'herejoined;andrising，hestrodealittledistanceupthepass，threwhimselfdownonaswellofheath，andtherelaystill。
\'Icandowhathewantsmetodo:Iamforcedtoseeandacknowledgethat，\'Imeditated，—\'thatis，iflifebesparedme。ButI
feelmineisnottheexistencetobelongprotractedunderanIndiansun。Whatthen？Hedoesnotcareforthat:whenmytimecametodie，hewouldresignme，inallserenityandsanctity，totheGodwhogaveme。Thecaseisveryplainbeforeme。InleavingEngland，I
shouldleavealovedbutemptyland—Mr。Rochesterisnotthere;andifhewere，whatis，whatcanthateverbetome？Mybusinessistolivewithouthimnow:nothingsoabsurd，soweakastodragonfromdaytoday，asifIwerewaitingsomeimpossiblechangeincircumstances，whichmightreunitemetohim。Ofcourse（asSt。Johnoncesaid）Imustseekanotherinterestinlifetoreplacetheonelost:isnottheoccupationhenowoffersmetrulythemostgloriousmancanadoptorGodassign？Isitnot，byitsnoblecaresandsublimeresults，theonebestcalculatedtofillthevoidleftbyuptornaffectionsanddemolishedhopes？IbelieveImustsay，Yes—andyetIshudder。Alas！IfIjoinSt。John，Iabandonhalfmyself:ifIgotoIndia，Igotoprematuredeath。AndhowwilltheintervalbetweenleavingEnglandforIndia，andIndiaforthegrave，befilled？Oh，I
knowwell！That，too，isverycleartomyvision。BystrainingtosatisfySt。Johntillmysinewsache，Ishallsatisfyhim—tothefinestcentralpointandfarthestoutwardcircleofhisexpectations。IfIdogowithhim—ifIdomakethesacrificeheurges，Iwillmakeitabsolutely:Iwillthrowallonthealtar—
heart，vitals，theentirevictim。Hewillneverloveme;butheshallapproveme;Iwillshowhimenergieshehasnotyetseen，resourceshehasneversuspected。Yes，Icanworkashardashecan，andwithaslittlegrudging。
\'Consent，then，tohisdemandispossible:butforoneitem—onedreadfulitem。Itis—thatheasksmetobehiswife，andhasnomoreofahusband\'sheartformethanthatfrowninggiantofarock，downwhichthestreamisfoaminginyondergorge。Heprizesmeasasoldierwouldagoodweapon，andthatisall。Unmarriedtohim，thiswouldnevergrieveme;butcanIlethimcompletehiscalculations—
coollyputintopracticehisplans—gothroughtheweddingceremony？
CanIreceivefromhimthebridalring，endurealltheformsoflove（whichIdoubtnothewouldscrupulouslyobserve）andknowthatthespiritwasquiteabsent？CanIbeartheconsciousnessthateveryendearmenthebestowsisasacrificemadeonprinciple？No:suchamartyrdomwouldbemonstrous。Iwillneverundergoit。Ashissister，Imightaccompanyhim—notashiswife:Iwilltellhimso。\'
Ilookedtowardstheknoll:therehelay，stillasaprostratecolumn;hisfaceturnedtome:hiseyebeamingwatchfulandkeen。Hestartedtohisfeetandapproachedme。
\'IamreadytogotoIndia，ifImaygofree。\'
\'Youranswerrequiresacommentary，\'hesaid;\'itisnotclear。\'
\'Youhavehithertobeenmyadoptedbrother—I，youradoptedsister:
letuscontinueassuch:youandIhadbetternotmarry。\'
Heshookhishead。\'Adoptedfraternitywillnotdointhiscase。Ifyouweremyrealsisteritwouldbedifferent:Ishouldtakeyou，andseeknowife。Butasitis，eitherourunionmustbeconsecratedandsealedbymarriage，oritcannotexist:practicalobstaclesopposethemselvestoanyotherplan。Doyounotseeit，Jane？Consideramoment—yourstrongsensewillguideyou。\'
Ididconsider;andstillmysense，suchasitwas，directedmeonlytothefactthatwedidnotloveeachotherasmanandwifeshould:andthereforeitinferredweoughtnottomarry。Isaidso。
\'St。John，\'Ireturned，\'Iregardyouasabrother—you，measasister:soletuscontinue。\'
\'Wecannot—wecannot，\'heanswered，withshort，sharpdetermination:\'itwouldnotdo。YouhavesaidyouwillgowithmetoIndia:remember—youhavesaidthat。\'
\'Conditionally。\'
\'Well—well。Tothemainpoint—thedeparturewithmefromEngland，theco—operationwithmeinmyfuturelabours—youdonotobject。
Youhavealreadyasgoodasputyourhandtotheplough:youaretooconsistenttowithdrawit。Youhavebutoneendtokeepinview—howtheworkyouhaveundertakencanbestbedone。Simplifyyourcomplicatedinterests，feelings，thoughts，wishes，aims;mergeallconsiderationsinonepurpose:thatoffulfillingwitheffect—withpower—themissionofyourgreatMaster。Todoso，youmusthaveacoadjutor:notabrother—thatisaloosetie—butahusband。I，too，donotwantasister:asistermightanydaybetakenfromme。
Iwantawife:thesolehelpmeetIcaninfluenceefficientlyinlife，andretainabsolutelytilldeath。\'
Ishudderedashespoke:Ifelthisinfluenceinmymarrow—
hisholdonmylimbs。
\'Seekoneelsewherethaninme，St。John:seekonefittedtoyou。\'
\'Onefittedtomypurpose，youmean—fittedtomyvocation。
AgainI
tellyouitisnottheinsignificantprivateindividual—themereman，withtheman\'sselfishsenses—Iwishtomate:itisthemissionary。\'
\'AndIwillgivethemissionarymyenergies—itisallhewants—
butnotmyself:thatwouldbeonlyaddingthehuskandshelltothekernel。Forthemhehasnouse:Iretainthem。\'
\'Youcannot—yououghtnot。DoyouthinkGodwillbesatisfiedwithhalfanoblation？WillHeacceptamutilatedsacrifice？ItisthecauseofGodIadvocate:itisunderHisstandardIenlistyou。I
cannotacceptonHisbehalfadividedallegiance:itmustbeentire。\'
\'Oh！IwillgivemyhearttoGod，\'Isaid。\'Youdonotwantit。\'
Iwillnotswear，reader，thattherewasnotsomethingofrepressedsarcasmbothinthetoneinwhichIutteredthissentence，andinthefeelingthataccompaniedit。IhadsilentlyfearedSt。Johntillnow，becauseIhadnotunderstoodhim。Hehadheldmeinawe，becausehehadheldmeindoubt。Howmuchofhimwassaint，howmuchmortal，Icouldnotheretoforetell:butrevelationswerebeingmadeinthisconference:theanalysisofhisnaturewasproceedingbeforemyeyes。Isawhisfallibilities:Icomprehendedthem。Iunderstoodthat，sittingtherewhereIdid，onthebankofheath，andwiththathandsomeformbeforeme，Isatatthefeetofaman，erringasI。
Theveilfellfromhishardnessanddespotism。Havingfeltinhimthepresenceofthesequalities，Ifelthisimperfectionandtookcourage。Iwaswithanequal—onewithwhomImightargue—onewhom，ifIsawgood，Imightresist。
HewassilentafterIhadutteredthelastsentence，andI
presentlyriskedanupwardglanceathiscountenance。Hiseye，bentonme，expressedatoncesternsurpriseandkeeninquiry。\'Isshesarcastic，andsarcastictome！\'itseemedtosay。\'Whatdoesthissignify？\'
\'Donotletusforgetthatthisisasolemnmatter，\'hesaiderelong;\'oneofwhichwemayneitherthinknortalklightlywithoutsin。
Itrust，Jane，youareinearnestwhenyousayyouwillgiveyourhearttoGod:itisallIwant。Oncewrenchyourheartfromman，andfixitonyourMaker，theadvancementofthatMaker\'sspiritualkingdomonearthwillbeyourchiefdelightandendeavour;youwillbereadytodoatoncewhateverfurthersthatend。Youwillseewhatimpetuswouldbegiventoyoureffortsandminebyourphysicalandmentalunioninmarriage:theonlyunionthatgivesacharacterofpermanentconformitytothedestiniesanddesignsofhumanbeings;
and，passingoverallminorcaprices—alltrivialdifficultiesanddelicaciesoffeeling—allscrupleaboutthedegree，kind，strengthortendernessofmerepersonalinclination—youwillhastentoenterintothatunionatonce。\'
\'ShallI？\'Isaidbriefly;andIlookedathisfeatures，beautifulintheirharmony，butstrangelyformidableintheirstillseverity;athisbrow，commandingbutnotopen;athiseyes，brightanddeepandsearching，butneversoft;athistallimposingfigure;
andfanciedmyselfinideahiswife。Oh！itwouldneverdo！Ashiscurate，hiscomrade，allwouldberight:Iwouldcrossoceanswithhiminthatcapacity;toilunderEasternsuns，inAsiandesertswithhiminthatoffice;admireandemulatehiscourageanddevotionandvigour;accommodatequietlytohismasterhood;smileundisturbedathisineradicableambition;discriminatetheChristianfromtheman:
profoundlyesteemtheone，andfreelyforgivetheother。Ishouldsufferoften，nodoubt，attachedtohimonlyinthiscapacity:mybodywouldbeunderratherastringentyoke，butmyheartandmindwouldbefree。Ishouldstillhavemyunblightedselftoturnto:mynaturalunenslavedfeelingswithwhichtocommunicateinmomentsofloneliness。Therewouldberecessesinmymindwhichwouldbeonlymine，towhichhenevercame，andsentimentsgrowingtherefreshandshelteredwhichhisausteritycouldneverblight，norhismeasuredwarrior—marchtrampledown:butashiswife—athissidealways，andalwaysrestrained，andalwayschecked—forcedtokeepthefireofmynaturecontinuallylow，tocompelittoburninwardlyandneverutteracry，thoughtheimprisonedflameconsumedvitalaftervital—
thiswouldbeunendurable。
\'St。John！\'Iexclaimed，whenIhadgotsofarinmymeditation。
\'Well？\'heansweredicily。
\'IrepeatIfreelyconsenttogowithyouasyourfellow—missionary，butnotasyourwife;Icannotmarryyouandbecomepartofyou。\'
\'Apartofmeyoumustbecome，\'heansweredsteadily:\'otherwisethewholebargainisvoid。HowcanI，amannotyetthirty，takeoutwithmetoIndiaagirlofnineteen，unlessshebemarriedtome？
Howcanwebeforevertogether—sometimesinsolitudes，sometimesamidstsavagetribes—andunwed？\'
\'Verywell，\'Isaidshortly;\'underthecircumstances，quiteaswellasifIwereeitheryourrealsister，oramanandaclergymanlikeyourself。\'
\'Itisknownthatyouarenotmysister;Icannotintroduceyouassuch:toattemptitwouldbetofasteninjurioussuspicionsonusboth。Andfortherest，thoughyouhaveaman\'svigorousbrain，youhaveawoman\'sheartand—itwouldnotdo。\'
\'Itwoulddo，\'Iaffirmedwithsomedisdain，\'perfectlywell。I
haveawoman\'sheart，butnotwhereyouareconcerned;foryouI
haveonlyacomrade\'sconstancy;afellow—soldier\'sfrankness，fidelity，fraternity，ifyoulike;aneophyte\'srespectandsubmissiontohishierophant:nothingmore—don\'tfear。\'
\'ItiswhatIwant，\'hesaid，speakingtohimself;\'itisjustwhatIwant。Andthereareobstaclesintheway:theymustbehewndown。
Jane，youwouldnotrepentmarryingme—becertainofthat;wemustbemarried。Irepeatit:thereisnootherway;andundoubtedlyenoughoflovewouldfollowuponmarriagetorendertheunionrighteveninyoureyes。\'
\'Iscornyourideaoflove，\'Icouldnothelpsaying，asIroseupandstoodbeforehim，leaningmybackagainsttherock。\'Iscornthecounterfeitsentimentyouoffer:yes，St。John，andIscornyouwhenyouofferit。\'
Helookedatmefixedly，compressinghiswell—cutlipswhilehedidso。Whetherhewasincensedorsurprised，orwhat，itwasnoteasytotell:hecouldcommandhiscountenancethoroughly。
\'Iscarcelyexpectedtohearthatexpressionfromyou，\'
hesaid:\'I
thinkIhavedoneandutterednothingtodeservescorn。\'
Iwastouchedbyhisgentletone，andoverawedbyhishigh，calmmien。
\'Forgivemethewords，St。John;butitisyourownfaultthatI
havebeenrousedtospeaksounguardedly。Youhaveintroducedatopiconwhichournaturesareatvariance—atopicweshouldneverdiscuss:theverynameofloveisanappleofdiscordbetweenus。Iftherealitywererequired，whatshouldwedo？Howshouldwefeel？Mydearcousin，abandonyourschemeofmarriage—forgetit。\'
\'No，\'saidhe;\'itisalong—cherishedscheme，andtheonlyonewhichcansecuremygreatend:butIshallurgeyounofurtheratpresent。To—morrow，IleavehomeforCambridge:IhavemanyfriendstheretowhomIshouldwishtosayfarewell。Ishallbeabsentafortnight—takethatspaceoftimetoconsidermyoffer:anddonotforgetthatifyourejectit，itisnotmeyoudeny，butGod。
Throughmymeans，Heopenstoyouanoblecareer;asmywifeonlycanyouenteruponit。Refusetobemywife，andyoulimityourselfforevertoatrackofselfisheaseandbarrenobscurity。Tremblelestinthatcaseyoushouldbenumberedwiththosewhohavedeniedthefaith，andareworsethaninfidels！\'
Hehaddone。Turningfromme，heoncemore\'Lookedtoriver，lookedtohill。\'
Butthistimehisfeelingswereallpentinhisheart:Iwasnotworthytohearthemuttered。AsIwalkedbyhissidehomeward，I
readwellinhisironsilenceallhefelttowardsme:thedisappointmentofanaustereanddespoticnature，whichhasmetresistancewhereitexpectedsubmission—thedisapprobationofacool，inflexiblejudgment，whichhasdetectedinanotherfeelingsandviewsinwhichithasnopowertosympathise:inshort，asaman，hewouldhavewishedtocoercemeintoobedience:itwasonlyasasincereChristianheboresopatientlywithmyperversity，andallowedsolongaspaceforreflectionandrepentance。
Thatnight，afterhehadkissedhissisters，hethoughtpropertoforgeteventoshakehandswithme，butlefttheroominsilence。I—
who，thoughIhadnolove，hadmuchfriendshipforhim—washurtbythemarkedomission:somuchhurtthattearsstartedtomyeyes。
\'IseeyouandSt。Johnhavebeenquarrelling，Jane，\'saidDiana，\'duringyourwalkonthemoor。Butgoafterhim;heisnowlingeringinthepassageexpectingyou—hewillmakeitup。\'
Ihavenotmuchprideundersuchcircumstances:Iwouldalwaysratherbehappythandignified;andIranafterhim—hestoodatthefootofthestairs。
\'Good—night，St。John，\'saidI。
\'Good—night，Jane，\'herepliedcalmly。
\'Thenshakehands，\'Iadded。
Whatacold，loosetouchheimpressedonmyfingers！Hewasdeeplydispleasedbywhathadoccurredthatday;cordialitywouldnotwarm，nortearsmovehim。Nohappyreconciliationwastobehadwithhim—nocheeringsmileorgenerousword:butstilltheChristianwaspatientandplacid;andwhenIaskedhimifheforgaveme，heansweredthathewasnotinthehabitofcherishingtheremembranceofvexation;thathehadnothingtoforgive，nothavingbeenoffended。
Andwiththatanswerheleftme。Iwouldmuchratherhehadknockedmedown。