Havingbroughtmyeventidemusingstothispoint，Irose，wenttomydoor，andlookedatthesunsetoftheharvest—day，andatthequietfieldsbeforemycottage，which，withtheschool，wasdistanthalfamilefromthevillage。Thebirdsweresingingtheirlaststrains—
\'Theairwasmild，thedewwasbalm。\'
WhileIlooked，Ithoughtmyselfhappy，andwassurprisedtofindmyselferelongweeping—andwhy？Forthedoomwhichhadreftmefromadhesiontomymaster:forhimIwasnomoretosee;forthedesperategriefandfatalfury—consequencesofmydeparture—whichmightnow，perhaps，bedragginghimfromthepathofright，toofartoleavehopeofultimaterestorationthither。Atthisthought，I
turnedmyfaceasidefromthelovelyskyofeveandlonelyvaleofMorton—Isaylonely，forinthatbendofitvisibletometherewasnobuildingapparentsavethechurchandtheparsonage，half—hidintrees，and，quiteattheextremity，theroofofValeHall，wheretherichMr。Oliverandhisdaughterlived。Ihidmyeyes，andleantmyheadagainstthestoneframeofmydoor;butsoonaslightnoisenearthewicketwhichshutinmytinygardenfromthemeadowbeyonditmademelookup。Adog—oldCarlo，Mr。Rivers\'pointer，asIsawinamoment—waspushingthegatewithhisnose，andSt。Johnhimselfleantuponitwithfoldedarms;hisbrowknit，hisgaze，gravealmosttodispleasure，fixedonme。Iaskedhimtocomein。
\'No，Icannotstay;IhaveonlybroughtyoualittleparcelMysistersleftforyou。Ithinkitcontainsacolour—box，pencils，andpaper。\'
Iapproachedtotakeit:awelcomegiftitwas。Heexaminedmyface，Ithought，withausterity，asIcamenear:thetracesoftearsweredoubtlessveryvisibleuponit。
\'Haveyoufoundyourfirstday\'sworkharderthanyouexpected？\'
heasked。
\'Oh，no！Onthecontrary，IthinkintimeIshallgetonwithmyscholarsverywell。\'
\'Butperhapsyouraccommodations—yourcottage—yourfurniture—
havedisappointedyourexpectations？Theyare，intruth，scantyenough;but—\'Iinterrupted—
\'Mycottageiscleanandweather—proof;myfurnituresufficientandcommodious。AllIseehasmademethankful，notdespondent。Iamnotabsolutelysuchafoolandsensualistastoregrettheabsenceofacarpet，asofa，andsilverplate;besides，fiveweeksagoIhadnothing—Iwasanoutcast，abeggar，avagrant;nowIhaveacquaintance，ahome，abusiness。IwonderatthegoodnessofGod;thegenerosityofmyfriends;thebountyofmylot。Idonotrepine。\'
\'Butyoufeelsolitudeanoppression？Thelittlehousetherebehindyouisdarkandempty。\'
\'Ihavehardlyhadtimeyettoenjoyasenseoftranquillity，muchlesstogrowimpatientunderoneofloneliness。\'
\'Verywell;Ihopeyoufeelthecontentyouexpress:atanyrate，yourgoodsensewilltellyouthatitistoosoonyettoyieldtothevacillatingfearsofLot\'swife。WhatyouhadleftbeforeIsawyou，ofcourseIdonotknow;butIcounselyoutoresistfirmlyeverytemptationwhichwouldinclineyoutolookback:pursueyourpresentcareersteadily，forsomemonthsatleast。\'
\'ItiswhatImeantodo，\'Ianswered。St。Johncontinued—
\'Itishardworktocontroltheworkingsofinclinationandturnthebentofnature;butthatitmaybedone，Iknowfromexperience。
Godhasgivenus，inameasure，thepowertomakeourownfate;andwhenourenergiesseemtodemandasustenancetheycannotget—whenourwillstrainsafterapathwemaynotfollow—weneedneitherstarvefrominanition，norstandstillindespair:wehavebuttoseekanothernourishmentforthemind，asstrongastheforbiddenfooditlongedtotaste—andperhapspurer;andtohewoutfortheadventurousfootaroadasdirectandbroadastheoneFortunehasblockedupagainstus，ifrougherthanit。
\'AyearagoIwasmyselfintenselymiserable，becauseI
thoughtI
hadmadeamistakeinenteringtheministry:itsuniformdutiesweariedmetodeath。Iburntforthemoreactivelifeoftheworld—
forthemoreexcitingtoilsofaliterarycareer—forthedestinyofanartist，author，orator;anythingratherthanthatofapriest:yes，theheartofapolitician，ofasoldier，ofavotaryofglory，aloverofrenown，alusterafterpower，beatundermycurate\'ssurplice。I
considered;mylifewassowretched，itmustbechanged，orImustdie。Afteraseasonofdarknessandstruggling，lightbrokeandrelieffell:mycrampedexistenceallatoncespreadouttoaplainwithoutbounds—mypowersheardacallfromheaventorise，gathertheirfullstrength，spreadtheirwings，andmountbeyondken。Godhadanerrandforme;tobearwhichafar，todeliveritwell，skillandstrength，courageandeloquence，thebestqualificationsofsoldier，statesman，andorator，wereallneeded:fortheseallcentreinthegoodmissionary。
\'AmissionaryIresolvedtobe。Fromthatmomentmystateofmindchanged;thefettersdissolvedanddroppedfromeveryfaculty，leavingnothingofbondagebutitsgallingsoreness—whichtimeonlycanheal。
Myfather，indeed，opposedthedetermination，butsincehisdeath，I
havenotalegitimateobstacletocontendwith;someaffairssettled，asuccessorforMortonprovided，anentanglementortwoofthefeelingsbrokenthroughorcutasunder—alastconflictwithhumanweakness，inwhichIknowIshallovercome，becauseIhavevowedthatIwillovercome—andIleaveEuropefortheEast。\'
Hesaidthis，inhispeculiar，subdued，yetemphaticvoice;
looking，whenhehadceasedspeaking，notatme，butatthesettingsun，atwhichIlookedtoo。BothheandIhadourbackstowardsthepathleadingupthefieldtothewicket。Wehadheardnosteponthegrass—growntrack;thewaterrunninginthevalewastheonelullingsoundofthehourandscene;wemightwellthenstartwhenagayvoice，sweetasasilverbell，exclaimed—
\'Goodevening，Mr。Rivers。Andgoodevening，oldCarlo。
Yourdogisquickertorecognisehisfriendsthanyouare，sir;heprickedhisearsandwaggedhistailwhenIwasatthebottomofthefield，andyouhaveyourbacktowardsmenow。\'
Itwastrue。ThoughMr。Rivershadstartedatthefirstofthosemusicalaccents，asifathunderbolthadsplitacloudoverhishead，hestoodyet，atthecloseofthesentence，inthesameattitudeinwhichthespeakerhadsurprisedhim—hisarmrestingonthegate，hisfacedirectedtowardsthewest。Heturnedatlast，withmeasureddeliberation。Avision，asitseemedtome，hadrisenathisside。
Thereappeared，withinthreefeetofhim，aformcladinpurewhite—ayouthful，gracefulform:full，yetfineincontour;andwhen，afterbendingtocaressCarlo，itliftedupitshead，andthrewbackalongveil，therebloomedunderhisglanceafaceofperfectbeauty。Perfectbeautyisastrongexpression;butIdonotretraceorqualifyit:assweetfeaturesaseverthetemperateclimeofAlbionmoulded;aspurehuesofroseandlilyaseverherhumidgalesandvapouryskiesgeneratedandscreened，justified，inthisinstance，theterm。Nocharmwaswanting，nodefectwasperceptible;
theyounggirlhadregularanddelicatelineaments;eyesshapedandcolouredasweseetheminlovelypictures，large，anddark，andfull;
thelongandshadowyeyelashwhichencirclesafineeyewithsosoftafascination;thepencilledbrowwhichgivessuchclearness;thewhitesmoothforehead，whichaddssuchreposetothelivelierbeautiesoftintandray;thecheekoval，fresh，andsmooth;thelips，freshtoo，ruddy，healthy，sweetlyformed;theevenandgleamingteethwithoutflaw;thesmalldimpledchin;theornamentofrich，plenteoustresses—alladvantages，inshort，which，combined，realisetheidealofbeauty，werefullyhers。Iwondered，asI
lookedatthisfaircreature:Iadmiredherwithmywholeheart。
Naturehadsurelyformedherinapartialmood;and，forgettingherusualstintedstep—motherdoleofgifts，hadendowedthis，herdarling，withagrand—dame\'sbounty。
WhatdidSt。JohnRiversthinkofthisearthlyangel？I
naturallyaskedmyselfthatquestionasIsawhimturntoherandlookather;
and，asnaturally，Isoughttheanswertotheinquiryinhiscountenance。HehadalreadywithdrawnhiseyefromthePeri，andwaslookingatahumbletuftofdaisieswhichgrewbythewicket。
\'Alovelyevening，butlateforyoutobeoutalone，\'hesaid，ashecrushedthesnowyheadsoftheclosedflowerswithhisfoot。
townsometwentymilesdistant）\'thisafternoon。Papatoldmeyouhadopenedyourschool，andthatthenewmistresswascome;andsoI
putonmybonnetaftertea，andranupthevalleytoseeher:thisisshe？\'pointingtome。
\'Itis，\'saidSt。John。
\'DoyouthinkyoushalllikeMorton？\'sheaskedofme，withadirectandnaivesimplicityoftoneandmanner，pleasing，ifchild—like。
\'IhopeIshall。Ihavemanyinducementstodoso。\'
\'Didyoufindyourscholarsasattentiveasyouexpected？\'
\'Quite。\'
\'Doyoulikeyourhouse？\'
\'Verymuch。\'
\'HaveIfurnisheditnicely？\'
\'Verynicely，indeed。\'
\'AndmadeagoodchoiceofanattendantforyouinAliceWood？\'
\'Youhaveindeed。Sheisteachableandhandy。\'（Thisthen，I
thought，isMissOliver，theheiress;favoured，itseems，inthegiftsoffortune，aswellasinthoseofnature！Whathappycombinationoftheplanetspresidedoverherbirth，Iwonder？）
\'Ishallcomeupandhelpyoutoteachsometimes，\'sheadded。\'Itwillbeachangeformetovisityounowandthen;andIlikeanight，orratherthismorning，Iwasdancingtilltwoo\'clock。Thearethemostagreeablemenintheworld:theyputallouryoungknife—grindersandscissormerchantstoshame。\'
ItseemedtomethatMr。St。John\'sunderlipprotruded，andhisupperlipcurledamoment。Hismouthcertainlylookedagooddealcompressed，andthelowerpartofhisfaceunusuallysternandsquare，asthelaughinggirlgavehimthisinformation。Heliftedhisgaze，too，fromthedaisies，andturneditonher。Anunsmiling，asearching，ameaninggazeitwas。Sheanswereditwithasecondlaugh，andlaughterwellbecameheryouth，herroses，herdimples，herbrighteyes。
Ashestood，muteandgrave，sheagainfelltocaressingCarlo。
\'PoorCarlolovesme，\'saidshe。\'Heisnotsternanddistanttohisfriends;andifhecouldspeak，hewouldnotbesilent。\'
Asshepattedthedog\'shead，bendingwithnativegracebeforehisyoungandausteremaster，Isawaglowrisetothatmaster\'sface。
Isawhissolemneyemeltwithsuddenfire，andflickerwithresistlessemotion。Flushedandkindledthus，helookednearlyasbeautifulforamanassheforawoman。Hischestheavedonce，asifhislargeheart，wearyofdespoticconstriction，hadexpanded，despitethewill，andmadeavigorousboundfortheattainmentofliberty。Buthecurbedit，Ithink，asaresoluteriderwouldcurbarearingsteed。
Herespondedneitherbywordnormovementtothegentleadvancesmadehim。
\'Papasaysyounevercometoseeusnow，\'continuedMisOliver，lookingup。\'YouarequiteastrangeratValeHall。Heisalonethisevening，andnotverywell:willyoureturnwithmeandvisithim？\'
\'ItisnotaseasonablehourtointrudeonMr。Oliver，\'
answeredSt。John。
\'Notaseasonablehour！ButIdeclareitis。Itisjustthehourwhenpapamostwantscompany:whentheworksareclosedandhehasnobusinesstooccupyhim。Now，Mr。Rivers，docome。Whyareyousoveryshy，andsoverysombre？\'Shefilledupthehiatushissilenceleftbyareplyofherown。
\'Iforgot！\'sheexclaimed，shakingherbeautifulcurledhead，asifshockedatherself。\'Iamsogiddyandthoughtless！Doexcuseme。Ithadslippedmymemorythatyouhavegoodreasonstobeindisposedforjoininginmychatter。DianaandMaryhaveleftyou，andMoorHouseisshutup，andyouaresolonely。IamsureIpityyou。Docomeandseepapa。\'
\'Notto—night，MissRosamond，notto—night。\'
Mr。St。Johnspokealmostlikeanautomaton:himselfonlyknewtheeffortitcosthimthustorefuse。
\'Well，ifyouaresoobstinate，Iwillleaveyou;forI
darenotstayanylonger:thedewbeginstofall。Goodevening！\'
Sheheldoutherhand。Hejusttouchedit。\'Goodevening！\'
herepeated，inavoicelowandhollowasanecho。Sheturned，butinamomentreturned。
\'Areyouwell？\'sheasked。Wellmightsheputthequestion:
hisfacewasblanchedashergown。
\'Quitewell，\'heenunciated;and，withabow，heleftthegate。Shewentoneway;heanother。Sheturnedtwicetogazeafterhimasshetrippedfairy—likedownthefield;he，ashestrodefirmlyacross，neverturnedatall。
Thisspectacleofanother\'ssufferingandsacrificeraptmythoughtsfromexclusivemeditationonmyown。DianaRivershaddesignatedherbrother\'inexorableasdeath。\'Shehadnotexaggerated。
chapter32
CHAPTERXXXII
ICONTINUEDthelaboursofthevillage—schoolasactivelyandfaithfullyasIcould。Itwastrulyhardworkatfirst。Sometimeelapsedbefore，withallmyefforts，Icouldcomprehendmyscholarsandtheirnature。Whollyuntaught，withfacultiesquitetorpid，theyseemedtomehopelesslydull;and，atfirstsight，alldullalike:butIsoonfoundIwasmistaken。Therewasadifferenceamongstthemasamongsttheeducated;andwhenIgottoknowthem，andtheyme，thisdifferencerapidlydevelopeditself。Theiramazementatme，mylanguage，myrules，andways，oncesubsided，Ifoundsomeoftheseheavy—looking，gapingrusticswakeupintosharp—wittedgirlsenough。Manyshowedthemselvesobliging，andamiabletoo;andI
discoveredamongstthemnotafewexamplesofnaturalpoliteness，andinnateself—respect，aswellasofexcellentcapacity，thatwonbothmygood—willandmyadmiration。Thesesoontookapleasureindoingtheirworkwell，inkeepingtheirpersonsneat，inlearningtheirtasksregularly，inacquiringquietandorderlymanners。Therapidityoftheirprogress，insomeinstances，wasevensurprising;
andanhonestandhappyprideItookinit:besides，Ibeganpersonallytolikesomeofthebestgirls;andtheylikedme。Ihadamongstmyscholarsseveralfarmers\'daughters:youngwomengrown，almost。Thesecouldalreadyread，write，andsew;andtothemItaughttheelementsofgrammar，geography，history，andthefinerkindsofneedlework。Ifoundestimablecharactersamongstthem—charactersdesirousofinformationanddisposedforimprovement—withwhomI
passedmanyapleasanteveninghourintheirownhomes。Theirparentsthen（thefarmerandhiswife）loadedmewithattentions。
Therewasanenjoymentinacceptingtheirsimplekindness，andinrepayingitbyaconsideration—ascrupulousregardtotheirfeelings—
towhichtheywerenot，perhaps，atalltimesaccustomed，andwhichbothcharmedandbenefitedthem;because，whileitelevatedthemintheirowneyes，itmadethememuloustomeritthedeferentialtreatmenttheyreceived。
IfeltIbecameafavouriteintheneighbourhood。WheneverIwentout，Iheardonallsidescordialsalutations，andwaswelcomedwithfriendlysmiles。Toliveamidstgeneralregard，thoughitbebuttheregardofworkingpeople，islike\'sittinginsunshine，calmandsweet\';sereneinwardfeelingsbudandbloomundertheray。Atthisperiodofmylife，myheartfaroftenerswelledwiththankfulnessthansankwithdejection:andyet，reader，totellyouall，inthemidstofthiscalm，thisusefulexistence—afteradaypassedinhonourableexertionamongstmyscholars，aneveningspentindrawingorreadingcontentedlyalone—Iusedtorushintostrangedreamsatnight:dreamsmany—coloured，agitated，fulloftheideal，thestirring，thestormy—dreamswhere，amidstunusualscenes，chargedwithadventure，withagitatingriskandromanticchance，IstillagainandagainmetMr。Rochester，alwaysatsomeexcitingcrisis;andthenthesenseofbeinginhisarms，hearinghisvoice，meetinghiseye，touchinghishandandcheek，lovinghim，beinglovedbyhim—thehopeofpassingalifetimeathisside，wouldberenewed，withallitsfirstforceandfire。ThenIawoke。ThenIrecalledwhereIwas，andhowsituated。
ThenIroseuponmycurtainlessbed，tremblingandquivering;andthenthestill，darknightwitnessedtheconvulsionofdespair，andheardtheburstofpassion。Bynineo\'clockthenextmorningIwaspunctuallyopeningtheschool;tranquil，settled，preparedforthesteadydutiesoftheday。
RosamondOliverkeptherwordincomingtovisitme。Hercallattheschoolwasgenerallymadeinthecourseofhermorningride。Shewouldcanteruptothedooronherpony，followedbyamountedliveryservant。Anythingmoreexquisitethanherappearance，inherpurplehabit，withherAmazon\'scapofblackvelvetplacedgracefullyabovethelongcurlsthatkissedhercheekandfloatedtohershoulders，canscarcelybeimagined:anditwasthusshewouldentertherusticbuilding，andglidethroughthedazzledranksofthevillagechildren。ShegenerallycameatthehourwhenMr。Riverswasengagedingivinghisdailycatechisinglesson。Keenly，Ifear，didtheeyeofthevisitresspiercetheyoungpastor\'sheart。Asortofinstinctseemedtowarnhimofherentrance，evenwhenhedidnotseeit;andwhenhewaslookingquiteawayfromthedoor，ifsheappearedatit，hischeekwouldglow，andhismarble—seemingfeatures，thoughtheyrefusedtorelax，changedindescribably，andintheirveryquiescencebecameexpressiveofarepressedfervour，strongerthanworkingmuscleordartingglancecouldindicate。
Ofcourse，sheknewherpower:indeed，hedidnot，becausehecouldnot，concealitfromher。InspiteofhisChristianstoicism，whenshewentupandaddressedhim，andsmiledgaily，encouragingly，evenfondlyinhisface，hishandwouldtrembleandhiseyeburn。Heseemedtosay，withhissadandresolutelook，ifhedidnotsayitwithhislips，\'Iloveyou，andIknowyoupreferme。Itisnotdespairofsuccessthatkeepsmedumb。IfIofferedmyheart，Ibelieveyouwouldacceptit。Butthatheartisalreadylaidonasacredaltar:thefireisarrangedroundit。Itwillsoonbenomorethanasacrificeconsumed。\'
Andthenshewouldpoutlikeadisappointedchild;apensivecloudwouldsoftenherradiantvivacity;shewouldwithdrawherhandhastilyfromhis，andturnintransientpetulancefromhisaspect，atoncesoheroicandsomartyr—like。St。John，nodoubt，wouldhavegiventheworldtofollow，recall，retainher，whenshethuslefthim;
buthewouldnotgiveonechanceofheaven，norrelinquish，fortheelysiumofherlove，onehopeofthetrue，eternalParadise。
Besides，hecouldnotbindallthathehadinhisnature—therover，theaspirant，thepoet，thepriest—inthelimitsofasinglepassion。
Hecouldnot—hewouldnot—renouncehiswildfieldofmissionwarfarefortheparloursandthepeaceofValeHall。IlearntsomuchfromhimselfinaninroadIonce，despitehisreserve，hadthedaringtomakeonhisconfidence。
MissOliveralreadyhonouredmewithfrequentvisitstomycottage。
Ihadlearntherwholecharacter，whichwaswithoutmysteryordisguise:shewascoquettish，butnotheartless;exacting，butnotworthlesslyselfish。Shehadbeenindulgedfromherbirth，butwasnotabsolutelyspoilt。Shewashasty，butgood—humoured;vain（shecouldnothelpit，wheneveryglanceintheglassshowedhersuchaflushofloveliness），butnotaffected;liberal—handed;innocentoftheprideofwealth;ingenuous;sufficientlyintelligent;gay，lively，andunthinking:shewasverycharming，inshort，eventoacoolobserverofherownsexlikeme;butshewasnotprofoundlyinterestingorthoroughlyimpressive。Averydifferentsortofmindwashersfromthat，forinstance，ofthesistersofSt。John。Still，IlikedheralmostasIlikedmypupilAdele;exceptthat，forachildwhomwehavewatchedoverandtaught，acloseraffectionisengenderedthanwecangiveanequallyattractiveadultacquaintance。
Shehadtakenanamiablecapricetome。ShesaidIwaslikeMr。
Rivers，only，certainly，sheallowed，\'notone—tenthsohandsome，thoughIwasaniceneatlittlesoulenough，buthewasanangel。\'I
was，however，good，clever，composed，andfirm，likehim。Iwasalususnaturae，sheaffirmed，asavillageschoolmistress:shewassuremyprevioushistory，ifknown，wouldmakeadelightfulromance。
Oneevening，while，withherusualchild—likeactivity，andthoughtlessyetnotoffensiveinquisitiveness，shewasrummagingthecupboardandthetable—drawerofmylittlekitchen，shediscoveredfirsttwoFrenchbooks，avolumeofSchiller，aGermangrammaranddictionary，andthenmydrawing—materialsandsomesketches，includingapencil—headofaprettylittlecherub—likegirl，oneofmyscholars，andsundryviewsfromnature，takenintheValeofMortonandonthesurroundingmoors。Shewasfirsttransfixedwithsurprise，andthenelectrifiedwithdelight。
\'HadIdonethesepictures？DidIknowFrenchandGerman？
Whatalove—whatamiracleIwas！Idrewbetterthanhermasterinthefirst\'Withpleasure，\'Ireplied;andIfeltathrillofartist—delightattheideaofcopyingfromsoperfectandradiantamodel。Shehadthenonadark—bluesilkdress;herarmsandherneckwerebare;heronlyornamentwasherchestnuttresses，whichwavedoverhershoulderswithallthewildgraceofnaturalcurls。Itookasheetoffinecard—board，anddrewacarefuloutline。Ipromisedmyselfthepleasureofcolouringit;and，asitwasgettinglatethen，Itoldhershemustcomeandsitanotherday。
Shemadesuchareportofmetoherfather，thatMr。Oliverhimselfaccompaniedhernextevening—atall，massive—featured，middle—aged，andgrey—headedman，atwhosesidehislovelydaughterlookedlikeabrightflowernearahoaryturret。Heappearedataciturn，andperhapsaproudpersonage;buthewasverykindtome。ThesketchofRosamond\'sportraitpleasedhimhighly:hesaidImustmakeafinishedpictureofit。Heinsisted，too，onmycomingthenextdaytospendtheeveningatValeHall。
Iwent。Ifounditalarge，handsomeresidence，showingabundantevidencesofwealthintheproprietor。RosamondwasfullofgleeandpleasureallthetimeIstayed。Herfatherwasaffable;andwhenheenteredintoconversationwithmeaftertea，heexpressedinstrongtermshisapprobationofwhatIhaddoneinMortonschool，andsaidheonlyfeared，fromwhathesawandheard，Iwastoogoodfortheplace，andwouldsoonquititforonemoresuitable。
\'Indeed，\'criedRosamond，\'sheiscleverenoughtobeagovernessinahighfamily，papa。\'
IthoughtIwouldfarratherbewhereIamthaninanyhighfamilyintheland。Mr。OliverspokeofMr。Rivers—oftheRiversfamily—withgreatrespect。Hesaiditwasaveryoldnameinthatneighbourhood;thattheancestorsofthehousewerewealthy;thatallMortonhadoncebelongedtothem;thatevennowheconsideredtherepresentativeofthathousemight，ifheliked，makeanalliancewiththebest。Heaccounteditapitythatsofineandtalentedayoungmanshouldhaveformedthedesignofgoingoutasamissionary;itwasquitethrowingavaluablelifeaway。Itappeared，then，thatherfatherwouldthrownoobstacleinthewayofRosamond\'sunionwithSt。John。Mr。Oliverevidentlyregardedtheyoungclergyman\'sgoodbirth，oldname，andsacredprofessionassufficientcompensationforthewantoffortune。
Itwasthe5thofNovember，andaholiday。Mylittleservant，afterhelpingmetocleanmyhouse，wasgone，wellsatisfiedwiththefeeofapennyforheraid。Allaboutmewasspotlessandbright—scouredfloor，polishedgrate，andwell—rubbedchairs。Ihadalsomademyselfneat，andhadnowtheafternoonbeforemetospendasIwould。
ThetranslationofafewpagesofGermanoccupiedanhour;
thenI
gotmypaletteandpencils，andfelltothemoresoothing，becauseeasieroccupation，ofcompletingRosamondOliver\'sminiature。Theheadwasfinishedalready:therewasbutthebackgroundtotintandthedraperytoshadeoff;atouchofcarmine，too，toaddtotheripelips—asoftcurlhereandtheretothetresses—adeepertingetotheshadowofthelashundertheazuredeyelid。Iwasabsorbedintheexecutionofthesenicedetails，when，afteronerapidtap，mydoorunclosed，admittingSt。JohnRivers。
\'Iamcometoseehowyouarespendingyourholiday，\'hesaid。
\'Not，Ihope，inthought？No，thatiswell:whileyoudrawyouwillnotfeellonely。Yousee，Imistrustyoustill，thoughyouhaveborneupwonderfullysofar。Ihavebroughtyouabookforeveningsolace，\'andhelaidonthetableanewpublication—apoem:oneofthosegenuineproductionssooftenvouchsafedtothefortunatepublicofthosedays—thegoldenageofmodernliterature。Alas！thereadersofoureraarelessfavoured。Butcourage！Iwillnotpauseeithertoaccuseorrepine。Iknowpoetryisnotdead，norgeniuslost;norhasMammongainedpowerovereither，tobindorslay:theywillbothasserttheirexistence，theirpresence，theirlibertyandstrengthagainoneday。Powerfulangels，safeinheaven！theysmilewhensordidsoulstriumph，andfeebleonesweepovertheirdestruction。Poetrydestroyed？Geniusbanished？No！Mediocrity，no:
donotletenvypromptyoutothethought。No;theynotonlylive，butreignandredeem:andwithouttheirdivineinfluencespreadeverywhere，youwouldbeinhell—thehellofyourownmeanness。
WhileIwaseagerlyglancingatthebrightpagesofMarmion（forMarmionitwas），St。Johnstoopedtoexaminemydrawing。Histallfiguresprangerectagainwithastart:hesaidnothing。Ilookedupathim:heshunnedmyeye。Iknewhisthoughtswell，andcouldreadhisheartplainly;atthemomentIfeltcalmerandcoolerthanhe:I
hadthentemporarilytheadvantageofhim，andIconceivedaninclinationtodohimsomegood，ifIcould。
\'Withallhisfirmnessandself—control，\'thoughtI，\'hetaskshimselftoofar:lockseveryfeelingandpangwithin—expresses，confesses，impartsnothing。IamsureitwouldbenefithimtotalkalittleaboutthissweetRosamond，whomhethinksheoughtnottomarry:Iwillmakehimtalk。\'
Isaidfirst，\'Takeachair，Mr。Rivers。\'Butheanswered，ashealwaysdid，thathecouldnotstay。\'Verywell，\'Iresponded，mentally，\'standifyoulike;butyoushallnotgojustyet，Iamdetermined:solitudeisatleastasbadforyouasitisforme。
I\'lltryifIcannotdiscoverthesecretspringofyourconfidence，andfindanapertureinthatmarblebreastthroughwhichIcanshedonedropofthebalmofsympathy。\'
\'Isthisportraitlike？\'Iaskedbluntly。
\'Like！Likewhom？Ididnotobserveitclosely。\'
\'Youdid，Mr。Rivers。\'
Healmoststartedatmysuddenandstrangeabruptness:
helookedatmeastonished。\'Oh，thatisnothingyet，\'Imutteredwithin。\'I
don\'tmeantobebaffledbyalittlestiffnessonyourpart;I\'mpreparedtogotoconsiderablelengths。\'Icontinued，\'Youobserveditcloselyanddistinctly;butIhavenoobjectiontoyourlookingatitagain，\'andIroseandplaceditinhishand。
\'Awell—executedpicture，\'hesaid;\'verysoft，clearcolouring;
verygracefulandcorrectdrawing。\'
\'Yes，yes;Iknowallthat。Butwhatoftheresemblance？
Whoisitlike？\'
Masteringsomehesitation，heanswered，\'MissOliver，I
presume。\'
\'Ofcourse。Andnow，sir，torewardyoufortheaccurateguess，I
willpromisetopaintyouacarefulandfaithfulduplicateofthisverypicture，providedyouadmitthatthegiftwouldbeacceptabletoyou。Idon\'twishtothrowawaymytimeandtroubleonanofferingyouwoulddeemworthless。\'
Hecontinuedtogazeatthepicture:thelongerhelooked，thefirmerheheldit，themoreheseemedtocovetit。\'Itislike！\'hemurmured;\'theeyeiswellmanaged:thecolour，light，expression，areperfect。Itsmiles！\'
\'Woulditcomfort，orwoulditwoundyoutohaveasimilarpainting？Tellmethat。WhenyouareatMadagascar，orattheCape，orinIndia，woulditbeaconsolationtohavethatmementoinyourpossession？orwouldthesightofitbringrecollectionscalculatedtoenervateanddistress？\'
Henowfurtivelyraisedhiseyes:heglancedatme，irresolute，disturbed:heagainsurveyedthepicture。
\'ThatIshouldliketohaveitiscertain:whetheritwouldbejudiciousorwiseisanotherquestion。\'
SinceIhadascertainedthatRosamondreallypreferredhim，andthatherfatherwasnotlikelytoopposethematch，I—lessexaltedinmyviewsthanSt。John—hadbeenstronglydisposedinmyownhearttoadvocatetheirunion。Itseemedtomethat，shouldhebecomethepossessorofMr。Oliver\'slargefortune，hemightdoasmuchgoodwithitasifhewentandlaidhisgeniusouttowither，andhisstrengthtowaste，underatropicalsun。WiththispersuasionInowanswered—
\'AsfarasIcansee，itwouldbewiserandmorejudiciousifyouweretotaketoyourselftheoriginalatonce。\'
Bythistimehehadsatdown:hehadlaidthepictureonthetablebeforehim，andwithhisbrowsupportedonbothhands，hungfondlyoverit。Idiscernedhewasnowneitherangrynorshockedatmyaudacity。Isaweventhattobethusfranklyaddressedonasubjecthehaddeemedunapproachable—tohearitthusfreelyhandled—wasbeginningtobefeltbyhimasanewpleasure—anunhoped—forrelief。Reservedpeopleoftenreallyneedthefrankdiscussionoftheirsentimentsandgriefsmorethantheexpansive。Thesternest—seemingstoicishumanafterall;andto\'burst\'withboldnessandgood—willinto\'thesilentsea\'oftheirsoulsisoftentoconferonthemthefirstofobligations。
\'Shelikesyou，Iamsure，\'saidI，asIstoodbehindhischair，\'andherfatherrespectsyou。Moreover，sheisasweetgirl—ratherthoughtless;butyouwouldhavesufficientthoughtforbothyourselfandher。Yououghttomarryher。\'
\'Doesshelikeme？\'heasked。