which，inmyhurryandtroubleofmind，IforgottotakeoutofthecoachthatbroughtmetoWhitcross。Tothisneighbourhood，then，I
came，quitedestitute。Islepttwonightsintheopenair，andwanderedabouttwodayswithoutcrossingathreshold:buttwiceinthatspaceoftimedidItastefood;anditwaswhenbroughtbyhunger，exhaustion，anddespairalmosttothelastgasp，thatyou，Mr。
Rivers，forbademetoperishofwantatyourdoor，andtookmeundertheshelterofyourroof。Iknowallyoursistershavedoneformesince—forIhavenotbeeninsensibleduringmyseemingtorpor—andIowetotheirspontaneous，genuine，genialcompassionaslargeadebtastoyourevangelicalcharity。\'
\'Don\'tmakehertalkanymorenow，St。John，\'saidDiana，asI
paused;\'sheisevidentlynotyetfitforexcitement。Cometothesofaandsitdownnow，MissElliott。\'
Igaveaninvoluntaryhalfstartathearingthealias:
Ihadforgottenmynewname。Mr。Rivers，whomnothingseemedtoescape，noticeditatonce。
\'YousaidyournamewasJaneElliott？\'heobserved。
\'Ididsayso;anditisthenamebywhichIthinkitexpedienttobecalledatpresent，butitisnotmyrealname，andwhenIhearit，itsoundsstrangetome。\'
\'Yourrealnameyouwillnotgive？\'
\'No:Ifeardiscoveryaboveallthings;andwhateverdisclosurewouldleadtoit，Iavoid。\'
\'Youarequiteright，Iamsure，\'saidDiana。\'Nowdo，brother，letherbeatpeaceawhile。\'
ButwhenSt。Johnhadmusedafewmomentsherecommencedasimperturbablyandwithasmuchacumenasever。
\'Youwouldnotliketobelongdependentonourhospitality—
youwouldwish，Isee，todispenseassoonasmaybewithmysisters\'
compassion，and，aboveall，withmycharity（Iamquitesensibleofthedistinctiondrawn，nordoIresentit—itisjust）:youdesiretobeindependentofus？\'
\'Ido:Ihavealreadysaidso。Showmehowtowork，orhowtoseekwork:thatisallInowask;thenletmego，ifitbebuttothemeanestcottage;buttillthen，allowmetostayhere:Idreadanotheressayofthehorrorsofhomelessdestitution。\'
\'Indeedyoushallstayhere，\'saidDiana，puttingherwhitehandonmyhead。\'Youshall，\'repeatedMary，inthetoneofundemonstrativesinceritywhichseemednaturaltoher。
\'Mysisters，yousee，haveapleasureinkeepingyou，\'
saidMr。St。
John，\'astheywouldhaveapleasureinkeepingandcherishingahalf—frozenbird，somewintrywindmighthavedriventhroughtheircasement。Ifeelmoreinclinationtoputyouinthewayofkeepingyourself，andshallendeavourtodoso;butobserve，mysphereisnarrow。Iambuttheincumbentofapoorcountryparish:myaidmustbeofthehumblestsort。Andifyouareinclinedtodespisethedayofsmallthings，seeksomemoreefficientsuccourthansuchasIcanoffer。\'
\'Shehasalreadysaidthatsheiswillingtodoanythinghonestshecando，\'answeredDianaforme;\'andyouknow，St。John，shehasnochoiceofhelpers:sheisforcedtoputupwithsuchcrustypeopleasyou。\'
\'Iwillbeadressmaker;Iwillbeaplain—workwoman;I
willbeaservant，anurse—girl，ifIcanbenobetter，\'Ianswered。
\'Right，\'saidMr。St。John，quitecoolly。\'Ifsuchisyourspirit，Ipromisetoaidyou，inmyowntimeandway。\'
Henowresumedthebookwithwhichhehadbeenoccupiedbeforetea。
Isoonwithdrew，forIhadtalkedasmuch，andsatupaslong，asmypresentstrengthwouldpermit。
chaptert30
CHAPTERXXX
THEmoreIknewoftheinmatesofMoorHouse，thebetterIlikedthem。InafewdaysIhadsofarrecoveredmyhealththatIcouldsitupallday，andwalkoutsometimes。IcouldjoinwithDianaandMaryinalltheiroccupations;conversewiththemasmuchastheywished，andaidthemwhenandwheretheywouldallowme。Therewasarevivingpleasureinthisintercourse，ofakindnowtastedbymeforthefirsttime—thepleasurearisingfromperfectcongenialityoftastes，sentiments，andprinciples。
Ilikedtoreadwhattheylikedtoread:whattheyenjoyed，delightedme;whattheyapproved，Ireverenced。Theylovedtheirsequesteredhome。I，too，inthegrey，small，antiquestructure，withitslowroof，itslatticedcasements，itsmoulderingwalls，itsavenueofagedfirs—allgrownaslantunderthestressofmountainwinds;itsgarden，darkwithyewandholly—andwherenoflowersbutofthehardiestspecieswouldbloom—foundacharmbothpotentandpermanent。Theyclungtothepurplemoorsbehindandaroundtheirdwelling—tothehollowvaleintowhichthepebblybridle—pathleadingfromtheirgatedescended，andwhichwoundbetweenfern—banksfirst，andthenamongstafewofthewildestlittlepasture—fieldsthateverborderedawildernessofheath，orgavesustenancetoaflockofgreymoorlandsheep，withtheirlittlemossy—facedlambs:—theyclungtothisscene，Isay，withaperfectenthusiasmofattachment。
I
couldcomprehendthefeeling，andsharebothitsstrengthandtruth。
I
sawthefascinationofthelocality。Ifelttheconsecrationofitsloneliness:myeyefeastedontheoutlineofswellandsweep—onthewildcolouringcommunicatedtoridgeanddellbymoss，byheath—bell，byflower—sprinkledturf，bybrilliantbracken，andmellowgranitecrag。Thesedetailswerejusttomewhattheyweretothem—
somanypureandsweetsourcesofpleasure。Thestrongblastandthesoftbreeze;theroughandthehalcyonday;thehoursofsunriseandsunset;themoonlightandthecloudednight，developedforme，intheseregions，thesameattractionasforthem—woundroundmyfacultiesthesamespellthatentrancedtheirs。
Indoorsweagreedequallywell。TheywerebothmoreaccomplishedandbetterreadthanIwas;butwitheagernessIfollowedinthepathofknowledgetheyhadtroddenbeforeme。Idevouredthebookstheylentme:thenitwasfullsatisfactiontodiscusswiththemintheeveningwhatIhadperusedduringtheday。Thoughtfittedthought;
opinionmetopinion:wecoincided，inshort，perfectly。
Ifinourtriotherewasasuperiorandaleader，itwasDiana。
Physically，shefarexcelledme:shewashandsome;shewasvigorous。
Inheranimalspiritstherewasanaffluenceoflifeandcertaintyofflow，suchasexcitedmywonder，whileitbaffledmycomprehension。
Icouldtalkawhilewhentheeveningcommenced，butthefirstgushofvivacityandfluencygone，IwasfaintositonastoolatDiana\'sfeet，torestmyheadonherknee，andlistenalternatelytoherandMary，whiletheysoundedthoroughlythetopiconwhichIhadbuttouched。DianaofferedtoteachmeGerman。Ilikedtolearnofher:
Isawthepartofinstructresspleasedandsuitedher;thatofscholarpleasedandsuitedmenoless。Ournaturesdovetailed:mutualaffection—ofthestrongestkind—wastheresult。TheydiscoveredI
coulddraw:theirpencilsandcolour—boxeswereimmediatelyatmyservice。Myskill，greaterinthisonepointthantheirs，surprisedandcharmedthem。Marywouldsitandwatchmebythehourtogether:
thenshewouldtakelessons;andadocile，intelligent，assiduouspupilshemade。Thusoccupied，andmutuallyentertained，dayspassedlikehours，andweekslikedays。
AstoMr。St。John，theintimacywhichhadarisensonaturallyandrapidlybetweenmeandhissistersdidnotextendtohim。Onereasonofthedistanceyetobservedbetweenuswas，thathewascomparativelyseldomathome:alargeproportionofhistimeappeareddevotedtovisitingthesickandpooramongthescatteredpopulationofhisparish。
Noweatherseemedtohinderhiminthesepastoralexcursions:
rainorfair，hewould，whenhishoursofmorningstudywereover，takehishat，and，followedbyhisfather\'soldpointer，Carlo，gooutonhismissionofloveorduty—Iscarcelyknowinwhichlightheregardedit。Sometimes，whenthedaywasveryunfavourable，hissisterswouldexpostulate。Hewouldthensay，withapeculiarsmile，moresolemnthancheerful—
\'AndifIletagustofwindorasprinklingofrainturnmeasidefromtheseeasytasks，whatpreparationwouldsuchslothbeforthefutureIproposetomyself？\'
DianaandMary\'sgeneralanswertothisquestionwasasigh，andsomeminutesofapparentlymournfulmeditation。
Butbesideshisfrequentabsences，therewasanotherbarriertofriendshipwithhim:heseemedofareserved，anabstracted，andevenofabroodingnature。Zealousinhisministeriallabours，blamelessinhislifeandhabits，heyetdidnotappeartoenjoythatmentalserenity，thatinwardcontent，whichshouldbetherewardofeverysincereChristianandpracticalphilanthropist。Often，ofanevening，whenhesatatthewindow，hisdeskandpapersbeforehim，hewouldceasereadingorwriting，resthischinonhishand，anddeliverhimselfuptoIknownotwhatcourseofthought;butthatitwasperturbedandexcitingmightbeseeninthefrequentflashandchangefuldilationofhiseye。
Ithink，moreover，thatNaturewasnottohimthattreasuryofdelightitwastohissisters。Heexpressedonce，andbutonceinmyhearing，astrongsenseoftheruggedcharmofthehills，andaninbornaffectionforthedarkroofandhoarywallshecalledhishome;
buttherewasmoreofgloomthanpleasureinthetoneandwordsinwhichthesentimentwasmanifested;andneverdidheseemtoroamthemoorsforthesakeoftheirsoothingsilence—neverseekoutordwelluponthethousandpeacefuldelightstheycouldyield。
Incommunicativeashewas，sometimeelapsedbeforeIhadanopportunityofgauginghismind。IfirstgotanideaofitscalibrewhenIheardhimpreachinhisownchurchatMorton。IwishIcoulddescribethatsermon:butitispastmypower。Icannotevenrenderfaithfullytheeffectitproducedonme。
Itbegancalm—andindeed，asfarasdeliveryandpitchofvoicewent，itwascalmtotheend:anearnestlyfelt，yetstrictlyrestrainedzealbreathedsooninthedistinctaccents，andpromptedthenervouslanguage。Thisgrewtoforce—compressed，condensed，controlled。Theheartwasthrilled，themindastonished，bythepowerofthepreacher:neitherweresoftened。Throughouttherewasastrangebitterness;anabsenceofconsolatorygentleness;sternallusionstoCalvinisticdoctrines—election，predestination，reprobation—werefrequent;andeachreferencetothesepointssoundedlikeasentencepronouncedfordoom。Whenhehaddone，insteadoffeelingbetter，calmer，moreenlightenedbyhisdiscourse，I
experiencedanexpressiblesadness;foritseemedtome—Iknownotwhetherequallysotoothers—thattheeloquencetowhichIhadbeenlisteninghadsprungfromadepthwherelayturbiddregsofdisappointment—wheremovedtroublingimpulsesofinsatiateyearningsanddisquietingaspirations。IwassureSt。JohnRivers—
pure—lived，conscientious，zealousashewas—hadnotyetfoundthatpeaceofGodwhichpassethallunderstanding;hehadnomorefoundit，Ithought，thanhadIwithmyconcealedandrackingregretsformybrokenidolandlostelysium—regretstowhichIhavelatterlyavoidedreferring，butwhichpossessedmeandtyrannisedovermeruthlessly。
Meantimeamonthwasgone。DianaandMaryweresoontoleaveMoorHouse，andreturntothefardifferentlifeandscenewhichawaitedthem，asgovernessesinalarge，fashionable，south—of—Englandcity，whereeachheldasituationinfamiliesbywhosewealthyandhaughtymemberstheywereregardedonlyashumbledependants，andwhoneitherknewnorsoughtouttheirinnateexcellences，andappreciatedonlytheiracquiredaccomplishmentsastheyappreciatedtheskilloftheircookorthetasteoftheirwaiting—woman。Mr。St。
Johnhadsaidnothingtomeyetabouttheemploymenthehadpromisedtoobtainforme;yetitbecameurgentthatIshouldhaveavocationofsomekind。Onemorning，beingleftalonewithhimafewminutesintheparlour，Iventuredtoapproachthewindow—recess—whichhistable，chair，anddeskconsecratedasakindofstudy—andIwasgoingtospeak，thoughnotverywellknowinginwhatwordstoframemyinquiry—foritisatalltimesdifficulttobreaktheiceofreserveglassingoversuchnaturesashis—whenhesavedmethetroublebybeingthefirsttocommenceadialogue。
LookingupasIdrewnear—\'Youhaveaquestiontoaskofme？\'hesaid。
\'Yes;IwishtoknowwhetheryouhaveheardofanyserviceIcanoffermyselftoundertake？\'
\'Ifoundordevisedsomethingforyouthreeweeksago;
butasyouseemedbothusefulandhappyhere—asmysistershadevidentlybecomeattachedtoyou，andyoursocietygavethemunusualpleasure—
I
deemeditinexpedienttobreakinonyourmutualcomforttilltheirapproachingdeparturefromMarshEndshouldrenderyoursnecessary。\'
\'Andtheywillgointhreedaysnow？\'Isaid。
\'Yes;andwhentheygo，IshallreturntotheparsonageatMorton:Hannahwillaccompanyme;andthisoldhousewillbeshutup。\'
Iwaitedafewmoments，expectinghewouldgoonwiththesubjectfirstbroached:butheseemedtohaveenteredanothertrainofreflection:hislookdenotedabstractionfrommeandmybusiness。I
wasobligedtorecallhimtoathemewhichwasofnecessityoneofcloseandanxiousinteresttome。
\'Whatistheemploymentyouhadinview，Mr。Rivers？I
hopethisdelaywillnothaveincreasedthedifficultyofsecuringit。\'
\'Oh，no;sinceitisanemploymentwhichdependsonlyonmetogive，andyoutoaccept。\'
Heagainpaused:thereseemedareluctancetocontinue。
Igrewimpatient:arestlessmovementortwo，andaneagerandexactingglancefastenedonhisface，conveyedthefeelingtohimaseffectuallyaswordscouldhavedone，andwithlesstrouble。
\'Youneedbeinnohurrytohear，\'hesaid:\'letmefranklytellyou，Ihavenothingeligibleorprofitabletosuggest。BeforeI
explain，recall，ifyouplease，mynotice，clearlygiven，thatifI
helpedyou，itmustbeastheblindmanwouldhelpthelame。Iampoor;forIfindthat，whenIhavepaidmyfather\'sdebts，allthepatrimonyremainingtomewillbethiscrumblinggrange，therowofscathedfirsbehind，andthepatchofmoorishsoil，withtheyew—treesandholly—bushesinfront。Iamobscure:Riversisanoldname;butofthethreesoledescendantsoftherace，twoearnthedependant\'scrustamongstrangers，andthethirdconsidershimselfanalienfromhisnativecountry—notonlyforlife，butindeath。Yes，anddeems，andisboundtodeem，himselfhonouredbythelot，andaspiresbutafterthedaywhenthecrossofseparationfromfleshlytiesshallbelaidonhisshoulders，andwhentheHeadofthatchurch—militantofwhosehumblestmembersheisone，shallgivetheword，\"Rise，followMe！\"\'
St。Johnsaidthesewordsashepronouncedhissermons，withaquiet，deepvoice;withanunflushedcheek，andacoruscatingradianceofglance。Heresumed—
\'AndsinceIammyselfpoorandobscure，Icanofferyoubutaserviceofpovertyandobscurity。Youmayeventhinkitdegrading—forIseenowyourhabitshavebeenwhattheworldcallsrefined:yourtastesleantotheideal，andyoursocietyhasatleastbeenamongsttheeducated;butIconsiderthatnoservicedegradeswhichcanbetterourrace。IholdthatthemorearidandunreclaimedthesoilwheretheChristianlabourer\'staskoftillageisappointedhim—thescantierthemeedhistoilbrings—thehigherthehonour。His，undersuchcircumstances，isthedestinyofthepioneer;andthefirstpioneersoftheGospelweretheApostles—theircaptainwasJesus，theRedeemer，Himself。\'
\'Well？\'Isaid，asheagainpaused—\'proceed。\'
Helookedatmebeforeheproceeded:indeed，heseemedleisurelytoreadmyface，asifitsfeaturesandlineswerecharactersonapage。Theconclusionsdrawnfromthisscrutinyhepartiallyexpressedinhissucceedingobservations。
\'IbelieveyouwillacceptthepostIofferyou，\'saidhe，\'andholditforawhile:notpermanently，though:anymorethanIcouldpermanentlykeepthenarrowandnarrowing—thetranquil，hiddenofficeofEnglishcountryincumbent;forinyournatureisanalloyasdetrimentaltoreposeasthatinmine，thoughofadifferentkind。\'
\'Doexplain，\'Iurged，whenhehaltedoncemore。
\'Iwill;andyoushallhearhowpoortheproposalis，—
howtrivial—
howcramping。IshallnotstaylongatMorton，nowthatmyfatherisdead，andthatIammyownmaster。Ishallleavetheplaceprobablyinthecourseofatwelvemonth;butwhileIdostay，Iwillexertmyselftotheutmostforitsimprovement。Morton，whenIcametoittwoyearsago，hadnoschool:thechildrenofthepoorwereexcludedfromeveryhopeofprogress。Iestablishedoneforboys:Imeannowtoopenasecondschoolforgirls。Ihavehiredabuildingforthepurpose，withacottageoftworoomsattachedtoitforthemistress\'shouse。Hersalarywillbethirtypoundsayear:herhouseisalreadyfurnished，verysimply，butsufficiently，bythekindnessofalady，MissOliver;theonlydaughterofthesolerichmaninmyparish—
Mr。Oliver，theproprietorofaneedle—factoryandiron—foundryinthevalley。Thesameladypaysfortheeducationandclothingofanorphanfromtheworkhouse，onconditionthatsheshallaidthemistressinsuchmenialofficesconnectedwithherownhouseandtheschoolasheroccupationofteachingwillpreventherhavingtimetodischargeinperson。Willyoubethismistress？\'
Heputthequestionratherhurriedly;heseemedhalftoexpectanindignant，oratleastadisdainfulrejectionoftheoffer:notknowingallmythoughtsandfeelings，thoughguessingsome，hecouldnottellinwhatlightthelotwouldappeartome。Intruthitwashumble—butthenitwassheltered，andIwantedasafeasylum:itwasplodding—butthen，comparedwiththatofagovernessinarichhouse，itwasindependent;andthefearofservitudewithstrangersenteredmysoullikeiron:itwasnotignoble—notunworthy—notmentallydegrading。Imademydecision。
\'Ithankyoufortheproposal，Mr。Rivers，andIacceptitwithallmyheart。\'
\'Butyoucomprehendme？\'hesaid。\'Itisavillageschool:
yourscholarswillbeonlypoorgirls—cottagers\'children—atthebest，farmers\'daughters。Knitting，sewing，reading，writing，ciphering，willbeallyouwillhavetoteach。Whatwillyoudowithyouraccomplishments？What，withthelargestportionofyourmind—
sentiments—tastes？\'
\'Savethemtilltheyarewanted。Theywillkeep。\'
\'Youknowwhatyouundertake，then？\'
\'Ido。\'
Henowsmiled:andnotabitterorasadsmile，butonewellpleasedanddeeplygratified。
\'Andwhenwillyoucommencetheexerciseofyourfunction？\'
\'Iwillgotomyhouseto—morrow，andopentheschool，ifyoulike，nextweek。\'
\'Verywell:sobeit。\'
Heroseandwalkedthroughtheroom。Standingstill，heagainlookedatme。Heshookhishead。
\'Whatdoyoudisapproveof，Mr。Rivers？\'Iasked。
\'YouwillnotstayatMortonlong:no，no！\'
\'Why？Whatisyourreasonforsayingso？\'
\'Ireaditinyoureye;itisnotofthatdescriptionwhichpromisesthemaintenanceofaneventenorinlife。\'
\'Iamnotambitious。\'
Hestartedattheword\'ambitious。\'Herepeated，\'No。Whatmadeyouthinkofambition？Whoisambitious？IknowIam:buthowdidyoufinditout？\'
\'Iwasspeakingofmyself。\'
\'Well，ifyouarenotambitious，youare—\'Hepaused。
\'What？\'
\'Iwasgoingtosay，impassioned:butperhapsyouwouldhavemisunderstoodtheword，andbeendispleased。Imean，thathumanaffectionsandsympathieshaveamostpowerfulholdonyou。Iamsureyoucannotlongbecontenttopassyourleisureinsolitude，andtodevoteyourworkinghourstoamonotonouslabourwhollyvoidofstimulus:anymorethanIcanbecontent，\'headded，withemphasis，\'tolivehereburiedinmorass，pentinwithmountains—mynature，thatGodgaveme，contravened;myfaculties，heaven—bestowed，paralysed—madeuseless。YouhearnowhowIcontradictmyself。I，whopreachedcontentmentwithahumblelot，andjustifiedthevocationevenofhewersofwoodanddrawersofwaterinGod\'sservice—I，Hisordainedminister，almostraveinmyrestlessness。Well，propensitiesandprinciplesmustbereconciledbysomemeans。\'
Helefttheroom。InthisbriefhourIhadlearntmoreofhimthaninthewholepreviousmonth:yetstillhepuzzledme。
DianaandMaryRiversbecamemoresadandsilentasthedayapproachedforleavingtheirbrotherandtheirhome。Theybothtriedtoappearasusual;butthesorrowtheyhadtostruggleagainstwasonethatcouldnotbeentirelyconqueredorconcealed。Dianaintimatedthatthiswouldbeadifferentpartingfromanytheyhadeveryetknown。Itwouldprobably，asfarasSt。Johnwasconcerned，beapartingforyears:itmightbeapartingforlife。
\'Hewillsacrificealltohislong—framedresolves，\'shesaid:
\'naturalaffectionandfeelingsmorepotentstill。St。Johnlooksquiet，Jane;buthehidesafeverinhisvitals。Youwouldthinkhimgentle，yetinsomethingsheisinexorableasdeath;andtheworstofitis，myconsciencewillhardlypermitmetodissuadehimfromhisseveredecision:certainly，Icannotforamomentblamehimforit。
Itisright，noble，Christian:yetitbreaksmyheart！\'Andthetearsgushedtoherfineeyes。Marybentherheadlowoverherwork。
\'Wearenowwithoutfather:weshallsoonbewithouthomeandbrother，\'shemurmured。
Atthatmomentalittleaccidentsupervened，whichseemeddecreedbyfatepurposelytoprovethetruthoftheadage，that\'misfortunesnevercomesingly，\'andtoaddtotheirdistressesthevexingoneoftheslipbetweenthecupandthelip。St。Johnpassedthewindowreadingaletter。Heentered。
\'OuruncleJohnisdead，\'saidhe。
Boththesistersseemedstruck:notshockedorappalled;
thetidingsappearedintheireyesrathermomentousthanafflicting。
\'Dead？\'repeatedDiana。
\'Yes。\'
Sherivetedasearchinggazeonherbrother\'sface。\'Andwhatthen？\'shedemanded，inalowvoice。
\'Whatthen，Die？\'hereplied，maintainingamarbleimmobilityoffeature。\'Whatthen？Why—nothing。Read。\'
Hethrewtheletterintoherlap。Sheglancedoverit，andhandedittoMary。Maryperuseditinsilence，andreturnedittoherbrother。Allthreelookedateachother，andallthreesmiled—adreary，pensivesmileenough。
\'Amen！Wecanyetlive，\'saidDianaatlast。
\'Atanyrate，itmakesusnoworseoffthanwewerebefore，\'
remarkedMary。
\'Onlyitforcesratherstronglyonthemindthepictureofwhatmighthavebeen;saidMr。Rivers，\'andcontrastsitsomewhattoovividlywithwhatis。\'
Hefoldedtheletter，lockeditinhisdesk，andagainwentout。
Forsomeminutesnoonespoke。Dianathenturnedtome。
\'Jane，youwillwonderatusandourmysteries，\'shesaid，\'andthinkushard—heartedbeingsnottobemoremovedatthedeathofsoneararelationasanuncle;butwehaveneverseenhimorknownhim。Hewasmymother\'sbrother。Myfatherandhequarrelledlongago。
Itwasbyhisadvicethatmyfatherriskedmostofhispropertyinthespeculationthatruinedhim。Mutualrecriminationpassedbetweenthem:
theypartedinanger，andwereneverreconciled。Myuncleengagedafterwardsinmoreprosperousundertakings:itappearsherealisedafortuneoftwentythousandpounds。Hewasnevermarried，andhadnonearkindredbutourselvesandoneotherperson，notmorecloselyrelatedthanwe。Myfatheralwayscherishedtheideathathewouldatoneforhiserrorbyleavinghispossessionstous;thatletterinformsusthathehasbequeathedeverypennytotheotherrelation，withtheexceptionofthirtyguineas，tobedividedbetweenSt。
John，Diana，andMaryRivers，forthepurchaseofthreemourningrings。Hehadaright，ofcourse，todoashepleased:andyetamomentarydampiscastonthespiritsbythereceiptofsuchnews。
MaryandIwouldhaveesteemedourselvesrichwithathousandpoundseach;andtoSt。Johnsuchasumwouldhavebeenvaluable，forthegooditwouldhaveenabledhimtodo。\'
Thisexplanationgiven，thesubjectwasdropped，andnofurtherreferencemadetoitbyeitherMr。Riversorhissisters。ThenextdayIleftMarshEndforMorton。Thedayafter，DianaandMaryquittedtheparsonage:andsotheoldgrangewasabandoned。
chapter31CHAPTERXXXI
MYhome，then，—whenIatlastfindahome，—isacottage;
alittleroomwithwhitewashedwallsandasandedfloor，containingfourpaintedchairsandatable，aclock，acupboard，withtwoorthreeplatesanddishes，andasetoftea—thingsindelf。Above，achamberofthesamedimensionsasthekitchen，withadealbedsteadandchestofdrawers;small，yettoolargetobefilledwithmyscantywardrobe:thoughthekindnessofmygentleandgenerousfriendshasincreasedthat，byamodeststockofsuchthingsasarenecessary。
Itisevening。Ihavedismissed，withthefeeofanorange，thelittleorphanwhoservesmeasahandmaid。Iamsittingaloneonthehearth。Thismorning，thevillageschoolopened。Ihadtwentyscholars。Butthreeofthenumbercanread:nonewriteorcipher。
Severalknit，andafewsewalittle。Theyspeakwiththebroadestaccentofthedistrict。Atpresent，theyandIhaveadifficultyinunderstandingeachother\'slanguage。Someofthemareunmannered，rough，intractable，aswellasignorant;butothersaredocile，haveawishtolearn，andevinceadispositionthatpleasesme。Imustnotforgetthatthesecoarsely—cladlittlepeasantsareoffleshandbloodasgoodasthescionsofgentlestgenealogy;andthatthegermsofnativeexcellence，refinement，intelligence，kindfeeling，areaslikelytoexistintheirheartsasinthoseofthebest—born。Mydutywillbetodevelopthesegerms:surelyIshallfindsomehappinessindischargingthatoffice。MuchenjoymentIdonotexpectinthelifeopeningbeforeme:yetitwill，doubtless，ifIregulatemymind，andexertmypowersasIought，yieldmeenoughtoliveonfromdaytoday。
WasIverygleeful，settled，content，duringthehoursIpassedinyonderbare，humbleschoolroomthismorningandafternoon？Nottodeceivemyself，Imustreply—No:Ifeltdesolatetoadegree。Ifelt—
yes，idiotthatIam—Ifeltdegraded。IdoubtedIhadtakenastepwhichsankinsteadofraisingmeinthescaleofsocialexistence。I
wasweaklydismayedattheignorance，thepoverty，thecoarsenessofallIheardandsawroundme。Butletmenothateanddespisemyselftoomuchforthesefeelings;Iknowthemtobewrong—thatisagreatstepgained;Ishallstrivetoovercomethem。To—morrow，I
trust，Ishallgetthebetterofthempartially;andinafewweeks，perhaps，theywillbequitesubdued。Inafewmonths，itispossible，thehappinessofseeingprogress，andachangeforthebetterinmyscholarsmaysubstitutegratificationfordisgust。
Meantime，letmeaskmyselfonequestion—Whichisbetter？—
Tohavesurrenderedtotemptation;listenedtopassion;madenopainfuleffort—nostruggle;—buttohavesunkdowninthesilkensnare;
fallenasleepontheflowerscoveringit;wakenedinasouthernclime，amongsttheluxuriesofapleasurevilla:tohavebeennowlivinginFrance，Mr。Rochester\'smistress;deliriouswithhislovehalfmytime—forhewould—oh，yes，hewouldhavelovedmewellforawhile。Hedidloveme—noonewilleverlovemesoagain。Ishallnevermoreknowthesweethomagegiventobeauty，youth，andgrace—
fornevertoanyoneelseshallIseemtopossessthesecharms。Hewasfondandproudofme—itiswhatnomanbesideswilleverbe。—ButwhereamIwandering，andwhatamIsaying，andaboveall，feeling？
Whetherisitbetter，Iask，tobeaslaveinafool\'sparadiseatMarseilles—feveredwithdelusiveblissonehour—suffocatingwiththebitteresttearsofremorseandshamethenext—ortobeavillage—schoolmistress，freeandhonest，inabreezymountainnookinthehealthyheartofEngland？
Yes;IfeelnowthatIwasrightwhenIadheredtoprincipleandlaw，andscornedandcrushedtheinsanepromptingsofafrenziedmoment。Goddirectedmetoacorrectchoice:IthankHisprovidencefortheguidance！