Whileheissooccupied，Iwilltellyou，reader，whattheyare:andfirst，Imustpremisethattheyarenothingwonderful。Thesubjectshad，indeed，risenvividlyonmymind。AsIsawthemwiththespiritualeye，beforeIattemptedtoembodythem，theywerestriking;butmyhandwouldnotsecondmyfancy，andineachcaseithadwroughtoutbutapaleportraitofthethingIhadconceived。
Thesepictureswereinwater—colours。Thefirstrepresentedcloudslowandlivid，rollingoveraswollensea:allthedistancewasineclipse;so，too，wastheforeground;orrather，thenearestbillows，fortherewasnoland。Onegleamoflightliftedintoreliefahalf—submergedmast，onwhichsatacormorant，darkandlarge，withwingsfleckedwithfoam;itsbeakheldagoldbraceletsetwithgems，thatIhadtouchedwithasbrillianttintsasmypalettecouldyield，andasglitteringdistinctnessasmypencilcouldimpart。Sinkingbelowthebirdandmast，adrownedcorpseglancedthroughthegreenwater;afairarmwastheonlylimbclearlyvisible，whencethebracelethadbeenwashedortorn。
Thesecondpicturecontainedforforegroundonlythedimpeakofahill，withgrassandsomeleavesslantingasifbyabreeze。Beyondandabovespreadanexpanseofsky，darkblueasattwilight:risingintotheskywasawoman’sshapetothebust，portrayedintintsasduskandsoftasIcouldcombine。Thedimforeheadwascrownedwithastar;thelineamentsbelowwereseenasthroughthesuffusionofvapour;theeyesshonedarkandwild;thehairstreamedshadowy，likeabeamlesscloudtornbystormorbyelectrictravail。Onthenecklayapalereflectionlikemoonlight;thesamefaintlustretouchedthetrainofthincloudsfromwhichroseandbowedthisvisionoftheEveningStar。
Thethirdshowedthepinnacleofanicebergpiercingapolarwintersky:amusterofnorthernlightsrearedtheirdimlances，closeserried，alongthehorizon。Throwingtheseintodistance，rose，intheforeground，ahead，—acolossalhead，inclinedtowardstheiceberg，andrestingagainstit。Twothinhands，joinedundertheforehead，andsupportingit，drewupbeforethelowerfeaturesasableveil，abrowquitebloodless，whiteasbone，andaneyehollowandfixed，blankofmeaningbutfortheglassinessofdespair，alonewerevisible。Abovethetemples，amidstwreathedturbanfoldsofblackdrapery，vagueinitscharacterandconsistencyascloud，gleamedaringofwhiteflame，gemmedwithsparklesofamoreluridtinge。Thispalecrescentwas“thelikenessofakinglycrown;”whatitdiademedwas“theshapewhichshapehadnone。”
“Wereyouhappywhenyoupaintedthesepictures？”askedMr。Rochesterpresently。
“Iwasabsorbed，sir:yes，andIwashappy。Topaintthem，inshort，wastoenjoyoneofthekeenestpleasuresIhaveeverknown。”
“Thatisnotsayingmuch。Yourpleasures，byyourownaccount，havebeenfew;butIdaresayyoudidexistinakindofartist’sdreamlandwhileyoublentandarrangedthesestrangetints。Didyousitatthemlongeachday？”
“Ihadnothingelsetodo，becauseitwasthevacation，andIsatatthemfrommorningtillnoon，andfromnoontillnight:thelengthofthemidsummerdaysfavouredmyinclinationtoapply。”
“Andyoufeltself—satisfiedwiththeresultofyourardentlabours？”
“Farfromit。Iwastormentedbythecontrastbetweenmyideaandmyhandiwork:ineachcaseIhadimaginedsomethingwhichIwasquitepowerlesstorealise。”
“Notquite:youhavesecuredtheshadowofyourthought;butnomore，probably。Youhadnotenoughoftheartist’sskillandsciencetogiveitfullbeing:yetthedrawingsare，foraschool—girl，peculiar。Astothethoughts，theyareelfish。TheseeyesintheEveningStaryoumusthaveseeninadream。Howcouldyoumakethemlooksoclear，andyetnotatallbrilliant？fortheplanetabovequellstheirrays。Andwhatmeaningisthatintheirsolemndepth？Andwhotaughtyoutopaintwind。Thereisahighgaleinthatsky，andonthishill—top。WheredidyouseeLatmos？ForthatisLatmos。There！putthedrawingsaway！”
Ihadscarcetiedthestringsoftheportfolio，when，lookingathiswatch，hesaidabruptly—
“Itisnineo’clock:whatareyouabout，MissEyre，toletAdèlesitupsolong？Takehertobed。”
Adèlewenttokisshimbeforequittingtheroom:heenduredthecaress，butscarcelyseemedtorelishitmorethanPilotwouldhavedone，norsomuch。
“Iwishyouallgood—night，now，”saidhe，makingamovementofthehandtowardsthedoor，intokenthathewastiredofourcompany，andwishedtodismissus。Mrs。Fairfaxfoldedupherknitting:Itookmyportfolio:wecurtseyedtohim，receivedafrigidbowinreturn，andsowithdrew。
“YousaidMr。Rochesterwasnotstrikinglypeculiar，Mrs。Fairfax，”Iobserved，whenIrejoinedherinherroom，afterputtingAdèletobed。
“Well，ishe？”
“Ithinkso:heisverychangefulandabrupt。”
“True:nodoubthemayappearsotoastranger，butIamsoaccustomedtohismanner，Ineverthinkofit;andthen，ifhehaspeculiaritiesoftemper，allowanceshouldbemade。”
“Why？”
“Partlybecauseitishisnature—andwecannoneofushelpournature;andpartlybecausehehaspainfulthoughts，nodoubt，toharasshim，andmakehisspiritsunequal。”
“Whatabout？”
“Familytroubles，foronething。”
“Buthehasnofamily。”
“Notnow，buthehashad—or，atleast，relatives。Helosthiselderbrotherafewyearssince。”
“Hiselderbrother？”
“Yes。ThepresentMr。Rochesterhasnotbeenverylonginpossessionoftheproperty;onlyaboutnineyears。”
“Nineyearsisatolerabletime。Washesoveryfondofhisbrotherastobestillinconsolableforhisloss？”
“Why，no—perhapsnot。Ibelievethereweresomemisunderstandingsbetweenthem。Mr。RowlandRochesterwasnotquitejusttoMr。Edward;andperhapsheprejudicedhisfatheragainsthim。Theoldgentlemanwasfondofmoney，andanxioustokeepthefamilyestatetogether。Hedidnotliketodiminishthepropertybydivision，andyethewasanxiousthatMr。Edwardshouldhavewealth，too，tokeepuptheconsequenceofthename;and，soonafterhewasofage，somestepsweretakenthatwerenotquitefair，andmadeagreatdealofmischief。OldMr。RochesterandMr。RowlandcombinedtobringMr。Edwardintowhatheconsideredapainfulposition，forthesakeofmakinghisfortune:whattheprecisenatureofthatpositionwasIneverclearlyknew，buthisspiritcouldnotbrookwhathehadtosufferinit。Heisnotveryforgiving:hebrokewithhisfamily，andnowformanyyearshehasledanunsettledkindoflife。Idon’tthinkhehaseverbeenresidentatThornfieldforafortnighttogether，sincethedeathofhisbrotherwithoutawilllefthimmasteroftheestate;and，indeed，nowonderheshunstheoldplace。”
“Whyshouldheshunit？”
“Perhapshethinksitgloomy。”
Theanswerwasevasive。Ishouldhavelikedsomethingclearer;butMrs。Fairfaxeithercouldnot，orwouldnot，givememoreexplicitinformationoftheoriginandnatureofMr。Rochester’strials。Sheaverredtheywereamysterytoherself，andthatwhatsheknewwaschieflyfromconjecture。Itwasevident，indeed，thatshewishedmetodropthesubject，whichIdidaccordingly。
Chapter14
ForseveralsubsequentdaysIsawlittleofMr。Rochester。Inthemorningsheseemedmuchengagedwithbusiness，and，intheafternoon，gentlemenfromMillcoteortheneighbourhoodcalled，andsometimesstayedtodinewithhim。Whenhissprainwaswellenoughtoadmitofhorseexercise，herodeoutagooddeal;probablytoreturnthesevisits，ashegenerallydidnotcomebacktilllateatnight。
Duringthisinterval，evenAdèlewasseldomsentfortohispresence，andallmyacquaintancewithhimwasconfinedtoanoccasionalrencontreinthehall，onthestairs，orinthegallery，whenhewouldsometimespassmehaughtilyandcoldly，justacknowledgingmypresencebyadistantnodoracoolglance，andsometimesbowandsmilewithgentlemanlikeaffability。Hischangesofmooddidnotoffendme，becauseIsawthatIhadnothingtodowiththeiralternation;theebbandflowdependedoncausesquitedisconnectedwithme。
Onedayhehadhadcompanytodinner，andhadsentformyportfolio;inorder，doubtless，toexhibititscontents:thegentlemenwentawayearly，toattendapublicmeetingatMillcote，asMrs。Fairfaxinformedme;butthenightbeingwetandinclement，Mr。Rochesterdidnotaccompanythem。Soonaftertheyweregoneherangthebell:amessagecamethatIandAdèleweretogodownstairs。IbrushedAdèle’shairandmadeherneat，andhavingascertainedthatIwasmyselfinmyusualQuakertrim，wheretherewasnothingtoretouch—allbeingtoocloseandplain，braidedlocksincluded，toadmitofdisarrangement—wedescended，Adèlewonderingwhetherthepetitcoffrewasatlengthcome;for，owingtosomemistake，itsarrivalhadhithertobeendelayed。Shewasgratified:thereitstood，alittlecarton，onthetablewhenweenteredthedining—room。Sheappearedtoknowitbyinstinct。
“Maboite！maboite！”exclaimedshe，runningtowardsit。
“Yes，thereisyour‘boite’atlast:takeitintoacorner，yougenuinedaughterofParis，andamuseyourselfwithdisembowellingit，”saidthedeepandrathersarcasticvoiceofMr。Rochester，proceedingfromthedepthsofanimmenseeasy—chairatthefireside。“Andmind，”hecontinued，“don’tbothermewithanydetailsoftheanatomicalprocess，oranynoticeoftheconditionoftheentrails:letyouroperationbeconductedinsilence:tiens—toitranquille，enfant;comprends—tu？”
Adèleseemedscarcelytoneedthewarning—shehadalreadyretiredtoasofawithhertreasure，andwasbusyuntyingthecordwhichsecuredthelid。Havingremovedthisimpediment，andliftedcertainsilveryenvelopesoftissuepaper，shemerelyexclaimed—
“Ohciel！Quec’estbeau！”andthenremainedabsorbedinecstaticcontemplation。
“IsMissEyrethere？”nowdemandedthemaster，halfrisingfromhisseattolookroundtothedoor，nearwhichIstillstood。
“Ah！well，comeforward;beseatedhere。”Hedrewachairnearhisown。“Iamnotfondoftheprattleofchildren，”hecontinued;“for，oldbachelorasIam，Ihavenopleasantassociationsconnectedwiththeirlisp。Itwouldbeintolerabletometopassawholeeveningtête—à—têtewithabrat。Don’tdrawthatchairfartheroff，MissEyre;sitdownexactlywhereIplacedit—ifyouplease，thatis。Confoundthesecivilities！Icontinuallyforgetthem。NordoIparticularlyaffectsimple—mindedoldladies。By—the—bye，Imusthavemineinmind;itwon’tdotoneglecther;sheisaFairfax，orwedtoone;andbloodissaidtobethickerthanwater。”
Herang，anddespatchedaninvitationtoMrs。Fairfax，whosoonarrived，knitting—basketinhand。
“Goodevening，madam;Isenttoyouforacharitablepurpose。IhaveforbiddenAdèletotalktomeaboutherpresents，andsheisburstingwithrepletion:havethegoodnesstoserveherasauditressandinterlocutrice;itwillbeoneofthemostbenevolentactsyoueverperformed。”
Adèle，indeed，nosoonersawMrs。Fairfax，thanshesummonedhertohersofa，andtherequicklyfilledherlapwiththeporcelain，theivory，thewaxencontentsofher“boite;”pouringout，meantime，explanationsandrapturesinsuchbrokenEnglishasshewasmistressof。
“NowIhaveperformedthepartofagoodhost，”pursuedMr。Rochester，“putmyguestsintothewayofamusingeachother，Ioughttobeatlibertytoattendtomyownpleasure。MissEyre，drawyourchairstillalittlefartherforward:youareyettoofarback;Icannotseeyouwithoutdisturbingmypositioninthiscomfortablechair，whichIhavenomindtodo。”
IdidasIwasbid，thoughIwouldmuchratherhaveremainedsomewhatintheshade;butMr。Rochesterhadsuchadirectwayofgivingorders，itseemedamatterofcoursetoobeyhimpromptly。
Wewere，asIhavesaid，inthedining—room:thelustre，whichhadbeenlitfordinner，filledtheroomwithafestalbreadthoflight;thelargefirewasallredandclear;thepurplecurtainshungrichandamplebeforetheloftywindowandloftierarch;everythingwasstill，savethesubduedchatofAdèle（shedarednotspeakloud），and，fillingupeachpause，thebeatingofwinterrainagainstthepanes。
Mr。Rochester，ashesatinhisdamask—coveredchair，lookeddifferenttowhatIhadseenhimlookbefore;notquitesostern—muchlessgloomy。Therewasasmileonhislips，andhiseyessparkled，whetherwithwineornot，Iamnotsure;butIthinkitveryprobable。Hewas，inshort，inhisafter—dinnermood;moreexpandedandgenial，andalsomoreself—indulgentthanthefrigidandrigidtemperofthemorning;stillhelookedpreciouslygrim，cushioninghismassiveheadagainsttheswellingbackofhischair，andreceivingthelightofthefireonhisgranite—hewnfeatures，andinhisgreat，darkeyes;forhehadgreat，darkeyes，andveryfineeyes，too—notwithoutacertainchangeintheirdepthssometimes，which，ifitwasnotsoftness，remindedyou，atleast，ofthatfeeling。
Hehadbeenlookingtwominutesatthefire，andIhadbeenlookingthesamelengthoftimeathim，when，turningsuddenly，hecaughtmygazefastenedonhisphysiognomy。
“Youexamineme，MissEyre，”saidhe:“doyouthinkmehandsome？”
Ishould，ifIhaddeliberated，haverepliedtothisquestionbysomethingconventionallyvagueandpolite;buttheanswersomehowslippedfrommytonguebeforeIwasaware—“No，sir。”
“Ah！Bymyword！thereissomethingsingularaboutyou，”saidhe:“youhavetheairofalittlenonnette;quaint，quiet，grave，andsimple，asyousitwithyourhandsbeforeyou，andyoureyesgenerallybentonthecarpet（except，by—the—bye，whentheyaredirectedpiercinglytomyface;asjustnow，forinstance）;andwhenoneasksyouaquestion，ormakesaremarktowhichyouareobligedtoreply，yourapoutaroundrejoinder，which，ifnotblunt，isatleastbrusque。Whatdoyoumeanbyit？”
“Sir，Iwastooplain;Ibegyourpardon。Ioughttohaverepliedthatitwasnoteasytogiveanimpromptuanswertoaquestionaboutappearances;thattastesmostlydiffer;andthatbeautyisoflittleconsequence，orsomethingofthatsort。”
“Yououghttohaverepliednosuchthing。Beautyoflittleconsequence，indeed！Andso，underpretenceofsofteningthepreviousoutrage，ofstrokingandsoothingmeintoplacidity，youstickaslypenknifeundermyear！Goon:whatfaultdoyoufindwithme，pray？IsupposeIhaveallmylimbsandallmyfeatureslikeanyotherman？”
“Mr。Rochester，allowmetodisownmyfirstanswer:Iintendednopointedrepartee:itwasonlyablunder。”
“Justso:Ithinkso:andyoushallbeanswerableforit。Criticiseme:doesmyforeheadnotpleaseyou？”
Heliftedupthesablewavesofhairwhichlayhorizontallyoverhisbrow，andshowedasolidenoughmassofintellectualorgans，butanabruptdeficiencywherethesuavesignofbenevolenceshouldhaverisen。
“Now，ma’am，amIafool？”
“Farfromit，sir。Youwould，perhaps，thinkmerudeifIinquiredinreturnwhetheryouareaphilanthropist？”
“Thereagain！Anotherstickofthepenknife，whenshepretendedtopatmyhead:andthatisbecauseIsaidIdidnotlikethesocietyofchildrenandoldwomen（lowbeitspoken！）。No，younglady，Iamnotageneralphilanthropist;butIbearaconscience;”andhepointedtotheprominenceswhicharesaidtoindicatethatfaculty，andwhich，fortunatelyforhim，weresufficientlyconspicuous;giving，indeed，amarkedbreadthtotheupperpartofhishead:“and，besides，Ioncehadakindofrudetendernessofheart。WhenIwasasoldasyou，Iwasafeelingfellowenough，partialtotheunfledged，unfostered，andunlucky;butFortunehasknockedmeaboutsince:shehasevenkneadedmewithherknuckles，andnowIflattermyselfIamhardandtoughasanIndia—rubberball;pervious，though，throughachinkortwostill，andwithonesentientpointinthemiddleofthelump。Yes:doesthatleavehopeforme？”
“Hopeofwhat，sir？”
“Ofmyfinalre—transformationfromIndia—rubberbacktoflesh？”
“Decidedlyhehashadtoomuchwine，”Ithought;andIdidnotknowwhatanswertomaketohisqueerquestion:howcouldItellwhetherhewascapableofbeingre—transformed？
“Youlookedverymuchpuzzled，MissEyre;andthoughyouarenotprettyanymorethanIamhandsome，yetapuzzledairbecomesyou;besides，itisconvenient，foritkeepsthosesearchingeyesofyoursawayfrommyphysiognomy，andbusiesthemwiththeworstedflowersoftherug;sopuzzleon。Younglady，Iamdisposedtobegregariousandcommunicativeto—night。”
Withthisannouncementherosefromhischair，andstood，leaninghisarmonthemarblemantelpiece:inthatattitudehisshapewasseenplainlyaswellashisface;hisunusualbreadthofchest，disproportionatealmosttohislengthoflimb。Iamsuremostpeoplewouldhavethoughthimanuglyman;yettherewassomuchunconsciousprideinhisport;somucheaseinhisdemeanour;suchalookofcompleteindifferencetohisownexternalappearance;sohaughtyarelianceonthepowerofotherqualities，intrinsicoradventitious，toatoneforthelackofmerepersonalattractiveness，that，inlookingathim，oneinevitablysharedtheindifference，and，eveninablind，imperfectsense，putfaithintheconfidence。
“Iamdisposedtobegregariousandcommunicativeto—night，”herepeated，“andthatiswhyIsentforyou:thefireandthechandelierwerenotsufficientcompanyforme;norwouldPilothavebeen，fornoneofthesecantalk。Adèleisadegreebetter，butstillfarbelowthemark;Mrs。Fairfaxditto;you，Iampersuaded，cansuitmeifyouwill:youpuzzledmethefirsteveningIinvitedyoudownhere。Ihavealmostforgottenyousince:otherideashavedrivenyoursfrommyhead;butto—nightIamresolvedtobeatease;todismisswhatimportunes，andrecallwhatpleases。Itwouldpleasemenowtodrawyouout—tolearnmoreofyou—thereforespeak。”
Insteadofspeaking，Ismiled;andnotaverycomplacentorsubmissivesmileeither。
“Speak，”heurged。
“Whatabout，sir？”
“Whateveryoulike。Ileaveboththechoiceofsubjectandthemanneroftreatingitentirelytoyourself。”
AccordinglyIsatandsaidnothing:“Ifheexpectsmetotalkforthemeresakeoftalkingandshowingoff，hewillfindhehasaddressedhimselftothewrongperson，”Ithought。
“Youaredumb，MissEyre。”
Iwasdumbstill。Hebenthisheadalittletowardsme，andwithasinglehastyglanceseemedtodiveintomyeyes。
“Stubborn？”hesaid，“andannoyed。Ah！itisconsistent。Iputmyrequestinanabsurd，almostinsolentform。MissEyre，Ibegyourpardon。Thefactis，onceforall，Idon’twishtotreatyoulikeaninferior:thatis”（correctinghimself），“Iclaimonlysuchsuperiorityasmustresultfromtwentyyears’differenceinageandacentury’sadvanceinexperience。Thisislegitimate，etj’ytiens，asAdèlewouldsay;anditisbyvirtueofthissuperiority，andthisalone，thatIdesireyoutohavethegoodnesstotalktomealittlenow，anddivertmythoughts，whicharegalledwithdwellingononepoint—cankeringasarustynail。”
Hehaddeignedanexplanation，almostanapology，andIdidnotfeelinsensibletohiscondescension，andwouldnotseemso。
“Iamwillingtoamuseyou，ifIcan，sir—quitewilling;butIcannotintroduceatopic，becausehowdoIknowwhatwillinterestyou？Askmequestions，andIwilldomybesttoanswerthem。”
“Then，inthefirstplace，doyouagreewithmethatIhavearighttobealittlemasterful，abrupt，perhapsexacting，sometimes，onthegroundsIstated，namely，thatIamoldenoughtobeyourfather，andthatIhavebattledthroughavariedexperiencewithmanymenofmanynations，androamedoverhalftheglobe，whileyouhavelivedquietlywithonesetofpeopleinonehouse？”
“Doasyouplease，sir。”
“Thatisnoanswer;orratheritisaveryirritating，becauseaveryevasiveone。Replyclearly。”
“Idon’tthink，sir，youhavearighttocommandme，merelybecauseyouareolderthanI，orbecauseyouhaveseenmoreoftheworldthanIhave;yourclaimtosuperioritydependsontheuseyouhavemadeofyourtimeandexperience。”
“Humph！Promptlyspoken。ButIwon’tallowthat，seeingthatitwouldneversuitmycase，asIhavemadeanindifferent，nottosayabad，useofbothadvantages。Leavingsuperiorityoutofthequestion，then，youmuststillagreetoreceivemyordersnowandthen，withoutbeingpiquedorhurtbythetoneofcommand。Willyou？”
Ismiled:IthoughttomyselfMr。RochesterISpeculiar—heseemstoforgetthathepaysme￡30perannumforreceivinghisorders。
“Thesmileisverywell，”saidhe，catchinginstantlythepassingexpression;“butspeaktoo。”
“Iwasthinking，sir，thatveryfewmasterswouldtroublethemselvestoinquirewhetherornottheirpaidsubordinateswerepiquedandhurtbytheirorders。”
“Paidsubordinates！What！youaremypaidsubordinate，areyou？Ohyes，Ihadforgottenthesalary！Wellthen，onthatmercenaryground，willyouagreetoletmehectoralittle？”
“No，sir，notonthatground;but，onthegroundthatyoudidforgetit，andthatyoucarewhetherornotadependentiscomfortableinhisdependency，Iagreeheartily。”
“Andwillyouconsenttodispensewithagreatmanyconventionalformsandphrases，withoutthinkingthattheomissionarisesfrominsolence？”
“Iamsure，sir，Ishouldnevermistakeinformalityforinsolence:oneIratherlike，theothernothingfree—bornwouldsubmitto，evenforasalary。”
“Humbug！Mostthingsfree—bornwillsubmittoanythingforasalary;therefore，keeptoyourself，anddon’tventureongeneralitiesofwhichyouareintenselyignorant。However，Imentallyshakehandswithyouforyouranswer，despiteitsinaccuracy;andasmuchforthemannerinwhichitwassaid，asforthesubstanceofthespeech;themannerwasfrankandsincere;onedoesnotoftenseesuchamanner:no，onthecontrary，affectation，orcoldness，orstupid，coarse—mindedmisapprehensionofone’smeaningaretheusualrewardsofcandour。Notthreeinthreethousandrawschool—girl—governesseswouldhaveansweredmeasyouhavejustdone。ButIdon’tmeantoflatteryou:ifyouarecastinadifferentmouldtothemajority，itisnomeritofyours:Naturedidit。Andthen，afterall，Igotoofastinmyconclusions:forwhatIyetknow，youmaybenobetterthantherest;youmayhaveintolerabledefectstocounterbalanceyourfewgoodpoints。”
“Andsomayyou，”Ithought。Myeyemethisastheideacrossedmymind:heseemedtoreadtheglance，answeringasifitsimporthadbeenspokenaswellasimagined—
“Yes，yes，youareright，”saidhe;“Ihaveplentyoffaultsofmyown:Iknowit，andIdon’twishtopalliatethem，Iassureyou。GodwotIneednotbetoosevereaboutothers;Ihaveapastexistence，aseriesofdeeds，acolouroflifetocontemplatewithinmyownbreast，whichmightwellcallmysneersandcensuresfrommyneighbourstomyself。Istarted，orrather（forlikeotherdefaulters，Iliketolayhalftheblameonillfortuneandadversecircumstances）wasthrustontoawrongtackattheageofone—and—twenty，andhaveneverrecoveredtherightcoursesince:butImighthavebeenverydifferent;Imighthavebeenasgoodasyou—wiser—almostasstainless。Ienvyyouyourpeaceofmind，yourcleanconscience，yourunpollutedmemory。Littlegirl，amemorywithoutblotorcontaminationmustbeanexquisitetreasure—aninexhaustiblesourceofpurerefreshment:isitnot？”
“Howwasyourmemorywhenyouwereeighteen，sir？”
“Allrightthen;limpid，salubrious:nogushofbilgewaterhadturnedittofetidpuddle。Iwasyourequalateighteen—quiteyourequal。Naturemeantmetobe，onthewhole，agoodman，MissEyre;oneofthebetterkind，andyouseeIamnotso。Youwouldsayyoudon’tseeit;atleastIflattermyselfIreadasmuchinyoureye（beware，by—the—bye，whatyouexpresswiththatorgan;Iamquickatinterpretingitslanguage）。Thentakemywordforit，—Iamnotavillain:youarenottosupposethat—nottoattributetomeanysuchbademinence;but，owing，Iverilybelieve，rathertocircumstancesthantomynaturalbent，Iamatritecommonplacesinner，hackneyedinallthepoorpettydissipationswithwhichtherichandworthlesstrytoputonlife。DoyouwonderthatIavowthistoyou？Know，thatinthecourseofyourfuturelifeyouwilloftenfindyourselfelectedtheinvoluntaryconfidantofyouracquaintances’secrets:peoplewillinstinctivelyfindout，asIhavedone，thatitisnotyourfortetotellofyourself，buttolistenwhileotherstalkofthemselves;theywillfeel，too，thatyoulistenwithnomalevolentscornoftheirindiscretion，butwithakindofinnatesympathy;notthelesscomfortingandencouragingbecauseitisveryunobtrusiveinitsmanifestations。”
“Howdoyouknow？—howcanyouguessallthis，sir？”
“Iknowitwell;thereforeIproceedalmostasfreelyasifIwerewritingmythoughtsinadiary。Youwouldsay，Ishouldhavebeensuperiortocircumstances;soIshould—soIshould;butyouseeIwasnot。Whenfatewrongedme，Ihadnotthewisdomtoremaincool:Iturneddesperate;thenIdegenerated。Now，whenanyvicioussimpletonexcitesmydisgustbyhispaltryribaldry，IcannotflattermyselfthatIambetterthanhe:IamforcedtoconfessthatheandIareonalevel。IwishIhadstoodfirm—GodknowsIdo！Dreadremorsewhenyouaretemptedtoerr，MissEyre;remorseisthepoisonoflife。”
“Repentanceissaidtobeitscure，sir。”
“Itisnotitscure。Reformationmaybeitscure;andIcouldreform—Ihavestrengthyetforthat—if—butwhereistheuseofthinkingofit，hampered，burdened，cursedasIam？Besides，sincehappinessisirrevocablydeniedme，Ihavearighttogetpleasureoutoflife:andIwillgetit，costwhatitmay。”
“Thenyouwilldegeneratestillmore，sir。”
“Possibly:yetwhyshouldI，ifIcangetsweet，freshpleasure？AndImaygetitassweetandfreshasthewildhoneythebeegathersonthemoor。”
“Itwillsting—itwilltastebitter，sir。”
“Howdoyouknow？—younevertriedit。Howveryserious—howverysolemnyoulook:andyouareasignorantofthematterasthiscameohead”（takingonefromthemantelpiece）。“Youhavenorighttopreachtome，youneophyte，thathavenotpassedtheporchoflife，andareabsolutelyunacquaintedwithitsmysteries。”
“Ionlyremindyouofyourownwords，sir:yousaiderrorbroughtremorse，andyoupronouncedremorsethepoisonofexistence。”
“Andwhotalksoferrornow？Iscarcelythinkthenotionthatflitteredacrossmybrainwasanerror。Ibelieveitwasaninspirationratherthanatemptation:itwasverygenial，verysoothing—Iknowthat。Hereitcomesagain！Itisnodevil，Iassureyou;orifitbe，ithasputontherobesofanangeloflight。IthinkImustadmitsofairaguestwhenitasksentrancetomyheart。”
“Distrustit，sir;itisnotatrueangel。”
“Oncemore，howdoyouknow？Bywhatinstinctdoyoupretendtodistinguishbetweenafallenseraphoftheabyssandamessengerfromtheeternalthrone—betweenaguideandaseducer？”
“Ijudgedbyyourcountenance，sir，whichwastroubledwhenyousaidthesuggestionhadreturneduponyou。Ifeelsureitwillworkyoumoremiseryifyoulistentoit。”
“Notatall—itbearsthemostgraciousmessageintheworld:fortherest，youarenotmyconscience—keeper，sodon’tmakeyourselfuneasy。Here，comein，bonnywanderer！”
Hesaidthisasifhespoketoavision，viewlesstoanyeyebuthisown;then，foldinghisarms，whichhehadhalfextended，onhischest，heseemedtoencloseintheirembracetheinvisiblebeing。
“Now，”hecontinued，againaddressingme，“Ihavereceivedthepilgrim—adisguiseddeity，asIverifybelieve。Alreadyithasdonemegood:myheartwasasortofcharnel;itwillnowbeashrine。”
“Tospeaktruth，sir，Idon’tunderstandyouatall:Icannotkeepuptheconversation，becauseithasgotoutofmydepth。Onlyonething，Iknow:yousaidyouwerenotasgoodasyoushouldliketobe，andthatyouregrettedyourownimperfection;—onethingIcancomprehend:youintimatedthattohaveasulliedmemorywasaperpetualbane。Itseemstome，thatifyoutriedhard，youwouldintimefinditpossibletobecomewhatyouyourselfwouldapprove;andthatiffromthisdayyoubeganwithresolutiontocorrectyourthoughtsandactions，youwouldinafewyearshavelaidupanewandstainlessstoreofrecollections，towhichyoumightrevertwithpleasure。”
“Justlythought;rightlysaid，MissEyre;and，atthismoment，Iampavinghellwithenergy。”
“Sir？”
“Iamlayingdowngoodintentions，whichIbelievedurableasflint。Certainly，myassociatesandpursuitsshallbeotherthantheyhavebeen。”
“Andbetter？”
“Andbetter—somuchbetteraspureoreisthanfouldross。Youseemtodoubtme;Idon’tdoubtmyself:Iknowwhatmyaimis，whatmymotivesare;andatthismomentIpassalaw，unalterableasthatoftheMedesandPersians，thatbothareright。”
“Theycannotbe，sir，iftheyrequireanewstatutetolegalisethem。”
“Theyare，MissEyre，thoughtheyabsolutelyrequireanewstatute:unheard—ofcombinationsofcircumstancesdemandunheard—ofrules。”
“Thatsoundsadangerousmaxim，sir;becauseonecanseeatoncethatitisliabletoabuse。”
“Sententioussage！soitis:butIswearbymyhouseholdgodsnottoabuseit。”
“Youarehumanandfallible。”
“Iam:soareyou—whatthen？”
“Thehumanandfallibleshouldnotarrogateapowerwithwhichthedivineandperfectalonecanbesafelyintrusted。”
“Whatpower？”
“Thatofsayingofanystrange，unsanctionedlineofaction，—‘Letitberight。’”
“‘Letitberight’—theverywords:youhavepronouncedthem。”
“Mayitberightthen，”Isaid，asIrose，deemingituselesstocontinueadiscoursewhichwasalldarknesstome;and，besides，sensiblethatthecharacterofmyinterlocutorwasbeyondmypenetration;atleast，beyonditspresentreach;andfeelingtheuncertainty，thevaguesenseofinsecurity，whichaccompaniesaconvictionofignorance。
“Whereareyougoing？”
“ToputAdèletobed:itispastherbedtime。”
“Youareafraidofme，becauseItalklikeaSphynx。”
“Yourlanguageisenigmatical，sir:butthoughIambewildered，Iamcertainlynotafraid。”
“Youareafraid—yourself—lovedreadsablunder。”
“InthatsenseIdofeelapprehensive—Ihavenowishtotalknonsense。”
“Ifyoudid，itwouldbeinsuchagrave，quietmanner，Ishouldmistakeitforsense。Doyouneverlaugh，MissEyre？Don’ttroubleyourselftoanswer—Iseeyoulaughrarely;butyoucanlaughverymerrily:believeme，youarenotnaturallyaustere，anymorethanIamnaturallyvicious。TheLowoodconstraintstillclingstoyousomewhat;controllingyourfeatures，mufflingyourvoice，andrestrictingyourlimbs;andyoufearinthepresenceofamanandabrother—orfather，ormaster，orwhatyouwill—tosmiletoogaily，speaktoofreely，ormovetooquickly:but，intime，Ithinkyouwilllearntobenaturalwithme，asIfinditimpossibletobeconventionalwithyou;andthenyourlooksandmovementswillhavemorevivacityandvarietythantheydareoffernow。Iseeatintervalstheglanceofacurioussortofbirdthroughtheclose—setbarsofacage:avivid，restless，resolutecaptiveisthere;wereitbutfree，itwouldsoarcloud—high。Youarestillbentongoing？”
“Ithasstrucknine，sir。”