HowellsMyfriendcameintheotherday,beforewehadlefttown,andlookedroundattheappointmentsoftheroomintheirsummershrouds,andsaid,withafaintsigh,\"Iseeyouhavehadtheeternal—womanlywithyou,too.\"
I.
\"Isn\'ttheeternal—womanlyeverywhere?Whathashappenedtoyou?\"
Iasked.
\"Iwishyouwouldcometomyhouseandsee.Everyrughasbeenupforamonth,andwehavebeenlivingonbarefloors.Everythingthatcouldbetieduphasbeentiedup,everythingthatcouldbeseweduphasbeensewedup.Everythingthatcouldbemoth—balledandputawayinchestshasbeenmoth—balledandputaway.Everythingthatcouldbetakendownhasbeentakendown.Bagswithdraw—stringsattheirneckshavebeenpulledoverthechandeliersandtied.Thepictureshavebeenhiddenincheese—cloth,andthemirrorsveiledingauzesothatIcannotseemyownmiserablefaceanywhere.\"
\"Come!That\'ssomething.\"
\"Yes,it\'ssomething.ButIhavebeenthinkingthismatteroververyseriously,andIbelieveitisgoingfrombadtoworse.Ihaveheardpraisesofthethoroughhousekeepingofourgrandmothers,butthehousekeepingoftheirgranddaughtersisathousandtimesmoreintense.\"
\"Doyoureallybelievethat?\"Iasked.\"Andifyoudo,whatofit?\"
\"Simplythis,thatifwedon\'tputastoptoit,atthegaitit\'sgoing,itwillputastoptotheeternal—womanly.\"
\"Isupposeweshouldhatethat.\"
\"Yes,itwouldbebad.Itwouldbeverybad;andIhavebeenturningthematteroverinmymind,andstudyingoutaremedy.\"
\"Thehighesttypeofphilosopherturnsathingoverinhismindandletssomeoneelsestudyoutaremedy.\"
\"Yes,Iknow.IfeelthatImaybewronginmyprocesses,butIamsurethatIamrightinmyresults.Thereasonwhyourgrandmotherscouldbesuchgoodhousekeeperswithoutdangerofputtingastoptotheeternal—
womanlywasthattheyhadsofewthingstolookafterintheirhouses.
Lifewasindefinitelysimplerwiththem.Butthemodernimprovements,aswecallthem,havemultipliedthecaresofhousekeepingwithoutsubtractingitsburdens,astheywereexpectedtodo.Everynovelconvenienceandcomfort,everyarticleofbeautyandluxury,everymeansofrefinementandenjoymentinourhouses,hasbeensomuchaddedtotheburdensofhousekeeping,andthegranddaughtershaveinheritedfromthegrandmothersanundiminishedconscienceagainstrustandthemoth,whichwillnotsufferthemtoforgettheleastdutytheyowetothenaughtiestoftheirsuperfluities.\"
\"Yes,Iseewhatyoumean,\"Isaid.Thisiswhatoneusuallysayswhenonedoesnotquiteknowwhatanotherisdrivingat;butinthiscaseI
reallydidknow,orthoughtIdid.\"Thatsurvivaloftheconscienceisaverycuriousthing,especiallyinoureternal—womanly.IsupposethattheNorthAmericanconsciencewasevolvedfromtherudimentalEuropeanconscienceduringthefirstcenturiesofstrugglehere,andwasmoreorlessreligiousandeconomicalinitsorigin.Butwiththeadvanceofwealthandthedecayoffaithamongus,theconscienceseemstobesimplyconscientious,or,ifitisotherwise,itissocial.Theeternal—womanlycontinuesalongtheoldlinesofhousekeepingfromanatavisticimpulse,andnoonewomancanstopbecausealltheotherwomenaregoingon.Itissomethingintheair,orsomethingintheblood.Perhapsitissomethinginboth.\"
\"Yes,\"saidmyfriend,quiteasIhadsaidalready,\"Iseewhatyoumean.
ButIthinkitisintheairmorethanintheblood.IwasinParis,aboutthistimelastyear,perhapsbecauseIwastheonlythinginmyhousethathadnotbeenswathedincheese—cloth,ortiedupinabagwithdrawstrings,orrolledupwithmoth—ballsandputawayinchests.Atanyrate,Iwasthere.OnedayIleftmywifeinNewYorkcarefullytaggingthreeworn—outfeatherdusters,andputtingthemintoapillow—case,andtaggingit,andputtingthepillow—caseintoacamphoratedself—sealingpapersack,andtaggingit;andanotherdayIwasinParis,diningatthehouseofaladywhomIaskedhowshemanagedwiththethingsinherhousewhenshewentintothecountryforthesummer.\'Leavethemjustastheyare,\'shesaid.\'Butwhataboutthedustandthemoths,andtherustandthetarnish?\'Shesaid,\'Why,thethingswouldhavetobeallgoneoverwhenIcamebackintheautumn,anyway,andwhyshouldIgivemyselfdoubletrouble?\'Iaskedherifshedidn\'tevenrollanythingupandputitawayinclosets,andshesaid:\'Oh,youmeanthatoldAmericanhorrorofgettingreadytogoaway.Iusedtogothroughallthatathome,too,butIshouldn\'tdreamofithere.Inthefirstplace,therearenoclosetsinthehouse,andIcouldn\'tputanythingawayifIwantedto.
Andreallynothinghappens.IscattersomePersianpowderalongtheedgesofthings,andunderthelowershelves,andinthedimcorners,andIpulldowntheshades.WhenIcomebackinthefallIhavethepowdersweptout,andtheshadespulledup,andbeginlivingagain.Supposealittledusthasgotin,andthemothshavenibbledalittlehereandthere?Thewholedamagewouldnotamounttohalfthecostofputtingeverythingawayandtakingeverythingout,nottospeakoftheweeksofdiscomfort,andthewearandtearofspirit.No,thankgoodness——IleftAmericanhousekeepinginAmerica.\'Iaskedher:\'Butifyouwentback?\'
andshegaveasigh,andsaid:
\'IsupposeIshouldgobacktothat,alongwithalltherest.Everybodydoesitthere.\'Soyousee,\"myfriendconcluded,\"it\'sintheair,ratherthantheblood.\"
\"Thenyourfamousspecificisthatoureternal—womanlyshouldgoandliveinParis?\"
\"Oh,dear,not\"saidmyfriend.\"Nothingsodrasticasallthat.Merelytheextinctionofhouseholdproperty.\"
\"Iseewhatyoumean,\"Isaid.\"But——whatdoyoumean?\"
\"Simplythathiredhouses,suchasmostofuslivein,shallallbefurnishedhouses,andthatthelandlordshallowneverystickinthem,andeveryappliancedowntothelastspoonandultimatetowel.Theremustbenocompromise,bywhichthetenantagreestoprovidehisownlinenandsilver;thatwouldneutralizetheeffectIintendbytheexpropriationofthepersonalproprietor,ifthatsayswhatImean.Itmustbeinthelease,withseverepenaltiesagainstthetenantincaseofviolation,thatthelandlordintofurnisheverythinginperfectorderwhenthetenantcomesin,andistoputeverythinginperfectorderwhenthetenantgoesout,andthetenantisnottotouchanything,tocleanit,ordustit,orrollitupinmoth—ballsandputitawayinchests.
Allistobesosacredlyandinalienablythepropertyofthelandlordthatitshallconstituteakindoftrespassifthetenantattemptstoclosethehouseforthesummerortoopenitforthewinterintheusualwaythathousesarenowclosedandopened.Otherwisemyschemewouldbemeasurablyvitiated.\"
\"Iseewhatyoumean,\"Imurmured.\"Well?\"
\"Someyearsago,\"myfriendwenton,\"whenwecamehomefromEurope,weleftourfurnitureinstorageforatime,whileweratherdriftedabout,anddidnotsettleanywhereinparticular.Duringthatintervalmywifeopenedandclosedfivefurnishedhousesintwoyears.\"
\"Andshehaslivedtotellthetale?\"