ThenheranguishwentbacktoWalteragain;andtohisneedsasafugitive——shehadmeanttorepairhisunderwear,buthadpostponeddoingso,andherneglectnowappearedtobeadetailaslamentableasthecalamityitself。Shecouldneitherbestilleduponit,norherselfexhaustitsurgingstoself-
reproach,thoughshefinallytookupanotherthemetemporarily。
Uponanunusuallyviolentoutbreakofherhusband\'s,indenunciationoftherunaway,shecriedoutfaintlythathewascruel;andfurtherweariedherbrokenvoicewithdetailsofWalter\'sbeautyasababy,andofhisbedtimepietiesthroughouthisinfancy。
Sothehotnightworeon。ThreehadstruckbeforeMrs。Adamswasgottobed;andAlice,returningtoherownroom,couldhearherfather\'sbarefeetthuddingbackandforthafterthat。\"Poorpapa!\"shewhisperedinhelplessimitationofhermother。\"Poorpapa!Poormama!PoorWalter!Poorallofus!\"
Shefellasleep,afteratime,whilefromacrossthehallthebarefeetstillthuddedovertheirchangelessroute;andshewokeatseven,hearingAdamspassherdoor,shod。Inherwrappersheranoutintothehallwayandfoundhimdescendingthestairs。
\"Papa!\"
\"Hush,\"hesaid,andlookedupatherwithreddenedeyes。\"Don\'twakeyourmother。\"
\"Iwon\'t,\"shewhispered。\"Howaboutyou?Youhaven\'tsleptanyatall!\"
\"Yes,Idid。Igotsomesleep。I\'mgoingovertotheworksnow。
Igottothrowsomefigurestogethertoshowthebank。Don\'tworry:I\'llgetthingsfixedup。Yougobacktobed。Good-bye。\"
\"Wait!\"shebadehimsharply。
\"Whatfor?\"
\"You\'vegottohavesomebreakfast。\"
\"Don\'twant\'ny。\"
\"Youwait!\"shesaid,imperiously,anddisappearedtoreturnalmostatonce。\"Icancookinmybedroomslippers,\"sheexplained,\"butIdon\'tbelieveIcouldinmybarefeet!\"
Descendingsoftly,shemadehimwaitinthedining-roomuntilshebroughthimtoastandeggsandcoffee。\"Eat!\"shesaid。\"AndI\'mgoingtotelephoneforataxicabtotakeyou,ifyouthinkyou\'vereallygottogo。\"
\"No,I\'mgoingtowalk——IWANTtowalk。\"
Sheshookherheadanxiously。\"Youdon\'tlookable。You\'vewalkedallnight。\"
\"No,Ididn\'t,\"hereturned。\"ItellyouIgotsomesleep。I
gotallIwantedanyhow。\"
\"But,papa——\"
\"Here!\"heinterrupted,lookingupathersuddenlyandsettingdownhiscupofcoffee。\"Lookhere!WhataboutthisMr。
Russell?Iforgotallabouthim。Whatabouthim?\"
Herliptrembledalittle,butshecontrolleditbeforeshespoke。\"Well,whatabouthim,papa?\"sheasked,calmlyenough。
\"Well,wecouldhardly——\"Adamspaused,frowningheavily。\"Wecouldhardlyexpecthewouldn\'thearsomethingaboutallthis。\"
\"Yes;ofcoursehe\'llhearit,papa。\"
\"Well?\"
\"Well,what?\"sheasked,gently。
\"Youdon\'tthinkhe\'dbethe——thecheapkindit\'dmakeadifferencewith,ofcourse。\"
\"Oh,no;heisn\'tcheap。Itwon\'tmakeanydifferencewithhim。\"
Adamssufferedaprofoundsightoescapehim。\"Well——I\'mgladofthat,anyway。\"
\"Thedifference,\"sheexplained——\"thedifferencewasmadewithouthishearinganythingaboutWalter。Hedoesn\'tknowaboutTHAT
yet。\"
\"Well,whatdoesheknowabout?\"
\"Only,\"shesaid,\"aboutme。\"
\"Whatyoumeanbythat,Alice?\"heasked,helplessly。
\"Nevermind,\"shesaid。\"It\'snothingbesidetherealtroublewe\'rein——I\'lltellyousometime。Youeatyoureggsandtoast;
youcan\'tkeepgoingonjustcoffee。\"
\"Ican\'teatanyeggsandtoast,\"heobjected,rising。\"I
can\'t。\"
\"ThenwaittillIcanbringyousomethingelse。\"
\"No,\"hesaid,irritably。\"Iwon\'tdoit!Idon\'twantanydangfood!Andlookhere\"——hespokesharplytostopher,asshewenttowardthetelephone——\"Idon\'twantanydangtaxi,either!Youlookafteryourmotherwhenshewakesup。IgottobeatWORK!\"
Andthoughshefollowedhimtothefrontdoor,entreating,hecouldnotbestayedorhindered。Hewentthroughthequietmorningstreetsatarickety,rapidgait,swinginghisoldstrawhatinhishands,andwhisperingangrilytohimselfashewent。
Hisgrizzledhair,nottrimmedforamonth,blewbackfromhisdampforeheadinthewarmbreeze;hisreddenedeyesstaredhardatnothingfromunderblinkinglids;andonesideofhisfacetwitchedstartlinglyfromtimetotime;——childrenmighthaverunfromhim,ormockedhim。
Whenhehadcomeintothatfallenquarterhisindustryhadpartlyrevivedandwhollymadeodorous,anegrowoman,leaninguponherwhitewashedgate,gazedafterhimandchuckledforthebenefitofagossipingfriendinthenexttinyyard。\"Oh,goodSatan!
Wha\'ssamatterthatoleglueman?\"
\"Who?Him?\"theneighbourinquired。\"Whathedonow?\"
\"Talkin\'tohisolese\'f!\"thefirstexplained,joyously。\"Looklikegonedistracted——oleglueman!\"
Adams\'slegshadgrownmoreuncertainwithhishardwalk,andhestumbledheavilyashecrossedthebakedmudofhisbroadlot,butcaredlittleforthat,wasalmostunawareofit,infact。
Thushiseyessawaslittleashisbodyfelt,andsohefailedtoobservesomethingthatwouldhavegivenhimadditionallightuponanoldphrasethatalreadymeantquiteenoughforhim。
Thereareinthewideworldpeoplewhohaveneverlearneditsmeaning;butmostareeitheryoungorbeautifullyunobservantwhoremainwhollyunawareoftheinnerpoignanciesthewordsconvey:
\"arainofmisfortunes。\"Itisaboilingrain,seeminglywhimsicalinitschoiceofspotswhereontofall;and,sofarasmortaleyecantell,neitherthejustnortheunjustmayhopetoavoidit,orneedworrythemselvesbyexpectingit。IthadselectedtheAdamsfamilyforitsscaldings;noquestion。
Theglue-worksforeman,standinginthedoorwayofthebrickshed,observedhisemployer\'seccentricapproach,anddoubtfullystrokedawhiskeredchin。
\"Well,theyain\'tnoputticularusegettin\'soupsetoverit,\"hesaid,asAdamscameup。\"Whenathinghappens,why,ithappens,andthat\'sallthereistoit。Whenathing\'sso,why,it\'sso。
Allyoucandoaboutitisthinkifthere\'sanythingyouCANdo;
andthat\'swhatyoubetterbedoin\'withthiscase。\"
Adamshalted,andseemedtogapeathim。\"What——case?\"hesaid,withdifficulty。\"Wasitinthemorningpapers,too?\"
\"No,itain\'tinnomorningpapers。Myland!Itdon\'tneedtobeinnopapers;lookattheSIZEofit!\"
\"Thesizeofwhat?\"
\"Why,greatGod!\"theforemanexclaimed。\"Heain\'tevenseenit。
Look!Lookyonder!\"
Adamsstaredvaguelyattheman\'soutstretchedhandandpointingforefinger,thenturnedandsawagreatsignuponthefacadeofthebigfactorybuildingacrossthestreet。Theletterswerelargeenoughtobereadtwoblocksaway。
\"AFTERTHEFIFTEENTHOFNEXTMONTH
THISBUILDINGWILLBEOCCUPIEDBY
THEJ。A。LAMBLIQUIDGLUECO。INC。\"
Agraytouring-carhadjustcometorestbeforetheprincipalentranceofthebuilding,andJ。A。Lambhimselfdescendedfromit。Heglancedovertowardthehumblerivalofhisprojectedgreatindustry,sawhisoldclerk,andimmediatelywalkedacrossthestreetandthelottospeaktohim。
\"Well,Adams,\"hesaid,inhishusky,cheerfulvoice,\"how\'syourglue-works?\"
Adamsutteredaninarticulatesound,andliftedthehandthatheldhishatasiftomakeaprotectivegesture,butfailedtocarryitout;andhisarmsanklimpathisside。Theforeman,however,seemedtofeelthatsomethingoughttobesaid。
\"Ourglue-works,hell!\"heremarked。\"Iguesswewon\'tHAVEnoglue-worksoverherenotverylong,ifwegottocompetewiththesizedthingyougotoverthere!\"
Lambchuckled。\"Ikindofhadsomesuchnotion,\"hesaid。\"Yousee,Virgil,Icouldn\'texactlyletyouwalkoffwithitlikeswalleringapato\'butter,now,couldI?Itdidn\'tlookexactlyreasonabletoexpectmetoletgolikethat,now,didit?\"
Adamsfoundahalf-chokedvoicesomewhereinhisthroat。\"Doyou——wouldyoustepintomyofficeaminute,Mr。Lamb?\"
\"Why,certainlyI\'mwillingtohavealittletalkwithyou,\"theoldgentlemansaid,ashefollowedhisformeremployeeindoors,andheadded,\"IfeelalotmorelikeitthanIdidbeforeIgotTHATup,overyonder,Virgil!\"
Adamsthrewopenthedooroftheroughroomhecalledhisoffice,havingasjustificationforthistitlelittlemorethanthefactthathehadatelephonethereandadealtablethatservedasadesk。\"Juststepintotheoffice,please,\"hesaid。
Lambglancedatthedesk,atthekitchenchairbeforeit,atthetelephone,andatthepartitionwallsbuiltofoldboards,somecoveredwithancientpaintandsomemerelyweatherbeaten,thesalvageofahouse-wrecker;andhesmiledbroadly。\"Sotheseareyouroffices,arethey?\"heasked。\"Youexpecttodoquiteabusinesshere,Iguess,don\'tyou,Virgil?\"
Adamsturneduponhimastrickenandtorturedface。\"HaveyouseenCharleyLohrsincelastnight,Mr。Lamb?\"
\"No;Ihaven\'tseenCharley。\"
\"Well,Itoldhimtotellyou,\"Adamsbegan;——\"ItoldhimI\'dpayyou——\"
\"Paymewhatyouexpecttomakeouto\'glue,youmean,Virgil?\"
\"No,\"Adamssaid,swallowing。\"Imeanwhatmyboyowesyou。
That\'swhatItoldCharleytotellyou。ItoldhimtotellyouI\'dpayyoueverylast——\"
\"Well,well!\"theoldgentlemaninterrupted,testily。\"Idon\'tknowanythingaboutthat。\"
\"I\'mexpectingtopayyou,\"Adamswenton,swallowingagain,painfully。\"IwasexpectingtodoitoutofaloanIthoughtI
couldgetonmyglue-works。\"
Theoldgentlemanliftedhisfrostedeyebrows。\"Oh,outo\'theGLUE-works?Youexpectedtoraisemoneyontheglue-works,didyou?\"
Atthat,Adams\'sagitationincreasedprodigiously。\"How\'dyouTHINKIexpectedtopayyou?\"hesaid。\"DidyouthinkIexpectedtogetmoneyonmyownoldbones?\"Heslappedhimselfharshlyuponthechestandlegs。\"Doyouthinkabank\'lllendmoneyonaman\'sribsandhisbroken-downoldknee-bones?Theywon\'tdoit!
YougottohavesomeBUSINESSprospectstoshow\'em,ifyouhaven\'tgotanypropertynorsecurities;andwhatbusinessprospectshaveIgotnow,withthatsignofyoursupoveryonder?
Why,youdon\'tneedtomakeanOUNCEo\'glue;yoursign\'sfixedMEwithoutyourdoinganotherlick!THAT\'Sallyouhadtodo;
justputyoursignup!Youneedn\'tto——\"
\"Justletmetellyousomething,VirgilAdams,\"theoldmaninterrupted,harshly。\"Igotjustonerightimportantthingtotellyoubeforewetalkanyfurtherbusiness;andthat\'sthis:
there\'ssomefewmeninthistownmadetheirmoneyinoff-colourways,buttherearen\'tmany;andthosetherearehavehadtobeadarnsightslickerthanyouknowhowtobe,oreverWILLknowhowtobe!Yes,sir,andtheynoneofthemhadthelittlegumptiontotrytomakeitoutofamanthathadthespiritnottolet\'em,andtheSTRENGTHnottolet\'em!Iknowwhatyouthought。
\'Here,\'yousaidtoyourself,\'here\'sthisolefoolJ。A。Lamb;
he\'skindofwornoutandinhissecondchildhoodlike;Icanputitoveronhim,withouthisever——\'\"
\"Ididnot!\"Adamsshouted。\"AgreatdealYOUknowaboutmyfeelingsandallwhatIsaidtomyself!There\'sonethingIwanttotellYOU,andthat\'swhatI\'msayingtomyselfNOW,andwhatmyfeelingsarethisMINUTE!\"
Hestruckthetableagreatblowwithhisthinfist,andshookthedamagedknucklesmtheair。\"Ijustwanttotellyou,whateverIdidfeel,Idon\'tfeelMEANanymore;notto-day,I
don\'t。There\'sameanermaninthisworldthan_I_am,Mr。
Lamb!\"
\"Oh,soyoufeelbetteraboutyourselfto-day,doyou,Virgil?\"
\"YoubetIdo!Youworkedtillyougotmewhereyouwantme;andIwouldn\'tdothattoanotherman,nomatterwhathedidtome!
Iwouldn\'t——\"
\"Whatyoutalkin\'about!How\'veI\'gotyouwhereIwantyou?\'\"
\"Ain\'titplainenough?\"Adamscried。\"YouevengotmewhereI
can\'traisethemoneytopaybackwhatmyboyowesyou!Doyousupposeanybody\'sfoolenoughtoletmehaveacentonthisbusinessafteronelookatwhatyougotoverthereacrosstheroad?\"
\"No,Idon\'t。\"
\"No,youdon\'t,\"Adamsechoed,hoarsely。\"What\'smore,youknewmyhousewasmortgaged,andmy——\"
\"Ididnot,\"Lambinterrupted,angrily。\"Whatdo_I_careaboutyourhouse?\"
\"What\'stheuseyourtalkinglikethat?\"Adamscried。\"YougotmewhereIcan\'tevenraisethemoneytopaywhatmyboyowesthecompany,so\'tIcan\'tshowanyreasontostoptheprosecutionandkeephimoutthepenitentiary。That\'swhereyouworkedtillyougotME!\"
\"What!\"Lambshouted。\"Youaccusemeof——\"
\"\'Accuseyou?\'WhatamItellingyou?DoyouthinkIgotnoEYES?\"AndAdamshammeredthetableagain。\"Why,youknewtheboywasweak——\"
\"Ididnot!\"
\"Listen:youkepthimthereafteryougotmadatmyleavingthewayIdid。Youkepthimthereafteryoususpectedhim;andyouhadhimwatched;youlethimgoon;justwaitedtocatchhimandruinhim!\"
\"You\'recrazy!\"theoldmanbellowed。\"Ididn\'tknowtherewasanythingagainsttheboytilllastnight。You\'reCRAZY,Isay!\"
Adamslookedit。Withhishairdisorderedoverhishaggardforeheadandbloodshoteyes;withhisbruisedhandspoundingthetableandflyinginahundredwildandabsurdgestures,whilehisfeetshuffledconstantlytopreservehisbalanceuponstaggeringlegs,hewasthepictureofamanwithamindgonetorags。
\"MaybeIAMcrazy!\"hecried,hisvoicebreakingandquavering。
\"MaybeIam,butIwouldn\'tstandthereandtauntamanwithitifI\'ddonetohimwhatyou\'vedonetome!Justlookatme:I
workedallmylifeforyou,andwhatIdidwhenIquitneverharmedyou——itdidn\'tmaketwocents\'wortho\'differenceinyourlifeanditlookedlikeit\'dmeanallthedifferenceintheworldtomyfamily——andnowlookwhatyou\'veDONEtomeforit!Itellyou,Mr。Lamb,thereneverwasamanlookeduptoanothermanthewayIlookeduptoyouthewholeo\'mylife,butIdon\'tlookuptoyouanymore!Youthinkyougotafinedayofitnow,ridingupinyourautomobiletolookatthatsign——andthenoverhereatmypoorlittleworksthatyou\'veruined。Butlistentomejustthisonelasttime!\"Thecrackingvoicebrokeintofalsetto,andthegesticulatinghandsfluttereduncontrollably。
\"Justyoulisten!\"hepanted。\"YouthinkIdidyouabadturn,andnowyougotmeruinedforit,andyougotmyworksruined,andmyfamilyruined;andifanybody\'d\'a\'toldmethistimelastyearI\'deversaysuchathingtoyouI\'dcalledhimadangliar,butIDOsayit:Isayyou\'veactedtowardmelike——likea——adoggonemean——man!\"
Hisvoice,exhausted,likehisbody,wasjustabletodohimthisfinalservice;thenhesank,crumpled,intothechairbythetable,hischindownharduponhischest。
\"Itellyou,you\'recrazy!\"Lambsaidagain。\"Ineverintheworld——\"Buthecheckedhimself,staringinsuddenperplexityathisaccuser。\"Lookhere!\"hesaid。\"What\'sthematterofyou?Haveyougotanotherofthose——?\"HeputhishanduponAdams\'sshoulder,whichjerkedfeeblyunderthetouch。
Theoldmanwenttothedoorandcalledtotheforeman。
\"Here!\"hesaid。\"Runandtellmychauffeurtobringmycaroverhere。Tellhimtodriverightupoverthesidewalkandacrossthelot。Tellhimtohurry!\"
So,ithappened,thegreatJ。A。Lambasecondtimebroughthisformerclerkhome,strickenandalmostinanimate。
CHAPTERXXIV
Aboutfiveo\'clockthatafternoon,theoldgentlemancamebacktoAdams\'shouse;andwhenAliceopenedthedoor,henodded,walkedintothe\"living-room\"withoutspeaking;thenstoodfrowningasifhehesitatedtodecidesomeperplexingquestion。
\"Well,howishenow?\"heasked,finally。
\"Thedoctorwashereagainalittlewhileago;hethinkspapa\'scomingthroughit。He\'sprettysurehewill。\"
\"Somethinglikethewayitwaslastspring?\"
\"Yes。\"
\"Notabitofsensetoit!\"Lambsaid,gruffly。\"Whenhewasgettingwelltheothertimethedoctortoldmeitwasn\'taregularstroke,sotospeak——this\'cerebraleffusion\'thing。
Saidtherewasn\'tanyparticularreasonforyourfathertoexpecthe\'deverhaveanotherattack,ifhe\'dtakealittlecareofhimself。Saidhecouldconsiderhimselfwellasanybodyelselongashedidthat。\"
\"Yes。Buthedidn\'tdoit!\"
Lambnodded,sighedaloud,andcrossedtheroomtoachair。\"I
guessnot,\"hesaid,ashesatdown。\"Bustin\'hishealthupoverhisglue-works,Iexpect。\"
\"Yes。\"
\"Iguessso;Iguessso。\"Thenhelookedupatherwithaglimmerofanxietyinhiseyes。\"Hashecametoyet?\"
\"Yes。He\'stalkedalittle。Hismind\'sclear;hespoketomamaandmeandtoMissPerry。\"Alicelaughedsadly。\"Wewereluckyenoughtogetherback,butpapadidn\'tseemtothinkitwaslucky。Whenherecognizedherhesaid,\'Oh,mygoodness,\'tisn\'tYOU,isit!\'\"
\"Well,that\'sagoodsign,ifhe\'sgettingalittlecross。Didhe——didhehappentosayanything——forinstance,aboutme?\"
Thisquestion,awkwardlydelivered,hadtheeffectofremovingthegirl\'spallor;rosytintscamequicklyuponhercheeks。
\"He——yes,hedid,\"shesaid。\"Naturally,he\'stroubledabout——about——\"Shestopped。
\"Aboutyourbrother,maybe?\"
\"Yes,aboutmakingupthe——\"
\"Here,now,\"Lambsaid,uncomfortably,asshestoppedagain。
\"Listen,younglady;let\'sdon\'ttalkaboutthatjustyet。I
wanttoaskyou:youunderstandallaboutthisgluebusiness,I
expect,don\'tyou?\"
\"I\'mnotsure。Ionlyknow——\"
\"Letmetellyou,\"heinterrupted,impatiently。\"I\'lltellyouallaboutitintwowords。Theprocessbelongedtome,andyourfatherupandwalkedoffwithit;there\'snogettingaroundTHAT
much,anyhow。\"
\"Isn\'tthere?\"Alicestaredathim。\"Ithinkyou\'remistaken,Mr。Lamb。Didn\'tpapaimproveitsothatitvirtuallybelongedtohim?\"
Therewasasparkintheoldblueeyesatthis。\"What?\"hecried。\"Isthatthewayhegotaroundit?Why,inallmylifeI
neverheardofsucha——\"Butheleftthesentenceunfinished;
thetestinesswentoutofhishuskyvoiceandtheangeroutofhiseyes。\"Well,Iexpectmaybethatwasthewayofit,\"hesaid。\"Anyhow,it\'srightforyoutostandupforyourfather;
andifyouthinkhehadarighttoit——\"
\"Buthedid!\"shecried。
\"Iexpectso,\"theoldmanreturned,pacifically。\"Iexpectso,probably。Anyhow,it\'saquestionthat\'sneitherherenorthere,rightnow。WhatIwasthinkingofsaying——well,didyourfatherhappentoletoutthatheandIhadwordsthismorning?\"
\"No。\"
\"Well,wedid。\"Hesighedandshookhishead。\"Yourfather——well,heusedsomeprettyhardexpressionstowardme,younglady。Theyweren\'tSO,I\'mgladtosay,butheused\'emtome,andtheworstofitwashebelieved\'em。Well,Ibeenthinkingitover,andIthoughtI\'djusthaveakindoflittletalkwithyoutosetmattersstraight,sotospeak。\"
\"Yes,Mr。Lamb。\"
\"Forinstance,\"hesaid,\"it\'slikethis。Now,Ihopeyouwon\'tthinkImeananyindelicacy,butyoutakeyourbrother\'scase,sincewegottomentionit,why,yourfatherhadthewholethingworkedoutinhismindaboutaswrongasanybodyevergotanything。IfI\'dactedthewayyourfatherthoughtIdidaboutthat,why,somebodyjustoughttotakemeoutandshootme!DoYOUknowwhatthatmanthought?\"
\"I\'mnotsure。\"
Hefrownedather,andasked,\"Well,whatdoyouthinkaboutit?\"
\"Idon\'tknow,\"shesaid。\"Idon\'tbelieveIthinkanythingatallaboutanythingto-day。\"
\"Well,well,\"hereturned;\"Iexpectnot;Iexpectnot。Youkindoflooktomeasifyououghttobeinbedyourself,younglady。\"
\"Oh,no。\"
\"Iguessyoumean\'Oh,yes\';andIwon\'tkeepyoulong,butthere\'ssomethingwegottogetfixedup,andI\'drathertalktoyouthanIwouldtoyourmother,becauseyou\'reasmartgirlandalwaysfriendly;andIwanttobesureI\'munderstood。Now,listen。\"
\"Iwill,\"Alicepromised,smilingfaintly。
\"Ineverevenhardlynoticedyourbrotherwasstillworkingforme,\"heexplained,earnestly。\"Ineverthoughtanythingaboutit。Mysonssortoftriedtoteasemeaboutthewayyourfather——abouthistakingupthisgluebusiness,sotospeak——andonedayAlbert,Junior,askedmeifIfeltallrightaboutyourbrother\'sstayingthereafterthat,andItoldhim——well,Ijustaskedhimtoshutup。Iftheboywantedtostaythere,Ididn\'tconsideritmybusinesstosendhimawayonaccountofanyfeelingIhadtowardhisfather;notaslongashedidhisworkright——andthereportshowedhedid。Well,asithappens,itlooksnowasifhestayedbecauseheHADto;hecouldn\'tquitbecausehe\'d\'a\'beenfoundoutifhedid。Well,he\'dbeencoveringuphisshortageforaconsiderabletime——anddoyouknowwhatyourfatherpracticallychargedmewithaboutthat?\"
\"No,Mr。Lamb。\"
Inhisresentment,theoldgentleman\'sruddyfacebecameruddierandhishuskyvoicehuskier。\"ThinksIkepttheboytherebecauseIsuspectedhim!ThinksIdidittogetevenwithHIM!
DoIlooktoYOUlikeamanthat\'ddosuchathing?\"
\"No,\"shesaid,gently。\"Idon\'tthinkyouwould。\"
\"No!\"heexclaimed。\"NorHEwouldn\'tthinksoifhewashimself;
he\'sknownmetoolong。Buthemustbeensortofbroodingoverthiswholebusiness——ImeanbeforeWalter\'stroublehemustbeentakingittoheartprettyhardforsometimeback。HethoughtI
didn\'tthinkmuchofhimanymore——andIexpecthemaybewonderedsomewhatIwasgoingtoDO——andthere\'snothingworse\'nthatstateofmindtomakeamansuspiciousofallkindsofmeanness。
Well,hepracticallystoodupthereandaccusedmetomyfaceoffixingthingsso\'thecouldn\'teverraisethemoneytosettleforWalterandaskusnottoprosecute。That\'sthestateofmindyourfather\'sbroodinggothiminto,younglady——chargingmewithatricklikethat!\"
\"I\'msorry,\"shesaid。\"Iknowyou\'dnever——\"
Theoldmanslappedhissturdyknee,angrily。\"Why,thatdangfoolofaVirgilAdams!\"heexclaimed。\"Hewouldn\'tevengivemeachancetotalk;andhegotmesomadIcouldn\'thardlytalk,anyway!Hemight\'a\'knownfromthefirstIwasn\'tgoingtolethimwalkinandbeatmeoutofmyown——thatis,hemight\'a\'
knownIwouldn\'tlethimgetaheadofmeinabusinessmatter——notwithmyboystwittingmeaboutiteveryfewminutes!
Buttotalktomethewayhedidthismorning——well,hewasoutofhishead;that\'sall!Now,waitjustaminute,\"heinterposed,assheseemedabouttospeak。\"Inthefirstplace,wearen\'tgoingtopushthiscaseagainstyourbrother。I
believeinthelaw,allright,andbusinessmengottoprotectthemselves;butinacaselikethis,whererestitution\'smadebythefamily,why,Iexpectit\'sjustaswellsometimestousealittleinfluenceandletmattersdrop。Ofcourseyourbrother\'llhavetokeepouto\'thisstate;that\'sall。\"
\"But——yousaid——\"shefaltered。
\"Yes。What\'dIsay?\"
\"Yousaid,\'whererestitution\'smadebythefamily。\'That\'swhatseemedtotroublepapasoterribly,because——becauserestitutioncouldn\'t——\"
\"Why,yes,itcould。That\'swhatI\'mheretotalktoyouabout。\"
\"Idon\'tsee——\"
\"I\'mgoingtoTELLyou,ain\'tI?\"hesaid,gruffly。\"Justholdyourhorsesaminute,please。\"Hecoughed,rosefromhischair,walkedupanddowntheroom,thenhaltedbeforeher。\"It\'slikethis,\"hesaid。\"AfterIbroughtyourfatherhome,thismorning,therewasoneofthethingshetoldme,whenhewasgoingforme,overyonder——itkindofstuckinmycraw。Itwassomethingaboutallthisgluecontroversynotmeaninganythingtomeinparticular,andmeaningawholeheaptohimandhisfamily。
Well,hewaswrongaboutthattwoways。Thefirstonewas,itdidmeanagooddealtometohavehimgobackonmeaftersomanyyears。Idon\'tneedtosayanymoreaboutit,exceptjusttotellyouitmeantquitealittlemoretomethanyou\'dthink,maybe。Theotherwayhewaswrongis,thathowmuchathingmeanstoonemanandhowlittleitmeanstoanotherain\'ttherightwaytolookatabusinessmatter。\"
\"Isupposeitisn\'t,Mr。Lamb。\"
\"No,\"hesaid。\"Itisn\'t。It\'snottherightwaytolookatanything。Yes,andyourfatherknowsitaswellasIdo,whenhe\'sinhisrightmind;andIexpectthat\'soneofthereasonshegotsomadatme——butanyhow,Icouldn\'thelpthinkingabouthowmuchallthisthingHADmaybemeanttohim;——asIsay,itkindofstuckinmycraw。Iwantyoutotellhimsomethingfromme,andIwantyoutogoandtellhimrightoff,ifhe\'sableandwillingtolisten。YoutellhimIgotkindofanotionhewaspushedintothisthingbycircumstances,andtellhimI\'velivedlongenoughtoknowthatcircumstancescanbeatthebestofus——youtellhimIsaid\'theBESTofus。\'TellhimIhaven\'tgotabitoffeelingagainsthim——notanymore——andtellhimIcameheretoaskhimnottohaveanyagainstme。\"
\"Yes,Mr。Lamb。\"
\"TellhimIsaid——\"TheoldmanpausedabruptlyandAlicewassurprised,inadullandtiredway,whenshesawthathislipshadbeguntotwitchandhiseyelidstoblink;butherecoveredhimselfalmostatonce,andcontinued:\"Iwanthimtoremember,\'Forgiveusourtransgressions,asweforgivethosethattransgressagainstus\';andifheandIbeentransgressingagainsteachother,why,tellhimIthinkit\'stimeweQUITsuchfoolishness!\"
Hecoughedagain,smiledheartilyuponher,andwalkedtowardthedoor;thenturnedbacktoherwithanexclamation:\"Well,ifI
ain\'tanoldfool!\"
\"Whatisit?\"sheasked。
\"Why,Iforgotwhatwewerejusttalkingabout!YourfatherwantstosettleforWalter\'sdeficit。Tellhimwe\'llbegladtoacceptit;butofcoursewedon\'texpecthimtocleanthematterupuntilhe\'sabletotalkbusinessagain。\"
Alicestaredathimblanklyenoughforhimtoperceivethatfurtherexplanationswerenecessary。\"It\'slikethis,\"hesaid。
\"Yousee,ifyourfatherdecidedtokeephisworksgoingoveryonder,Idon\'tsaybuthemightgiveussomelittlecompetitionforatime,\'speciallyashe\'sgotthestartonusandaboutreadyforthemarket。ThenIwasfiguringwecouldusehisplant——it\'ssmall,butit\'dbetoourbenefittohavetheuseofit——andhe\'sgotaleaseonthatbiglot;itmaycomeinhandyforusifwewanttoexpandsome。Well,I\'dprefertomakeadealwithhimasquietlyaspossible——nogoodineveryTom,DickandHarryhearingaboutthingslikethis——butIfiguredhecouldsellouttomeforalittlesomethingmore\'nenoughtocoverthemortgageheputonthishouse,andWalter\'sdeficit,too——THAT
don\'tamounttomuchindollarsandcents。ThewayIfigureit,Icouldofferhimaboutninety-threehundreddollarsasatotal——orsayninety-threehundredandfifty——andifhefeelslikeaccepting,why,I\'llsendaconfidentialmanupherewiththepaperssoon\'syourfather\'sabletolook\'emover。Youtellhim,willyou,andaskhimifheseeshiswaytoacceptingthatfigure?\"
\"Yes,\"Alicesaid;andnowherownlipstwitched,whilehereyesfilledsothatshesawbutablurredimageoftheoldman,whoheldouthishandinparting。\"I\'lltellhim。Thankyou。\"
Heshookherhandhastily。\"Well,let\'sjustkeepitkindofquiet,\"hesaid,atthedoor。\"NogoodineveryTom,DickandHarryknowingallwhatgoesonintown!Youtelephonemewhenyourpapa\'sreadytogooverthepapers——andcallmeupatmyhouseto-night,willyou?Letmehearhowhe\'sfeeling?\"
\"Iwill,\"shesaid,andthroughhergratefultearsgavehimasmilealmostradiant。\"He\'llbebetter,Mr。Lamb。Weallwill。\"
CHAPTERXXV
Onemorning,thatautumn,Mrs。AdamscameintoAlice\'sroom,andfoundhercompletingasobertoiletforthestreet;moreover,theexpressionrevealedinhermirrorwasharmoniouswiththebusiness-likeseverityofherattire。\"Whatmakesyoulooksocross,dearie?\"themotherasked。\"Couldn\'tyoufindanythingnicertowearthanthatplainolddarkdress?\"
\"Idon\'tbelieveI\'mcross,\"thegirlsaid,absently。\"IbelieveI\'mjustthinking。Isn\'titabouttime?\"
\"Timeforwhat?\"
\"Timeforthinking——forme,Imean?\"
Disregardingthis,Mrs。Adamslookedheroverthoughtfully。\"I
can\'tseewhyyoudon\'twearmorecolour,\"shesaid。\"Atyourageit\'sbecomingandproper,too。Anyhow,whenyou\'regoingonthestreet,Ithinkyououghttolookjustasgayandlivelyasyoucanmanage。Youwanttoshow\'emyou\'vegotsomespunk!\"
\"Howdoyoumean,mama?\"
\"ImeanaboutWalter\'srunningawayandthemessyourfathermadeofhisbusiness。Itwouldhelptoshow\'emyou\'reholdingupyourheadjustthesame。\"
\"Showwhom!\"
\"Alltheseothergirlsthat——\"
\"NotI!\"Alicelaughedshortly,shakingherhead。\"I\'vequitdressingatthem,andiftheysawmetheywouldn\'tthinkwhatyouwant\'emto。It\'sfunny;butwedon\'toftenmakepeoplethinkwhatwewant\'emto,mama。Youdothusandso;andyoutellyourself,\'Now,seeingmedothusandso,peoplewillnaturallythinkthisandthat\';buttheydon\'t。Theythinksomethingelse——usuallyjustwhatyouDON\'Twant\'emto。Isupposeabouttheonlygoodinpretendingisthefunwegetoutoffoolingourselvesthatwefoolsomebody。\"
\"Well,butitwouldn\'tbepretending。Yououghttoletpeopleseeyou\'restillholdingyourheadupbecauseyouARE。Youwouldn\'twantthatMildredPalmertothinkyou\'recastdownabout——well,youknowyouwouldn\'twantHERnottothinkyou\'reholdingyourheadup,wouldyou?\"
\"Shewouldn\'tknowwhetherIamornot,mama。\"Alicebitherlip,thensmiledfaintlyasshesaid:
\"Anyhow,I\'mnotthinkingaboutmyheadinthatway——notthismorning,I\'mnot。\"
Mrs。Adamsdroppedthesubjectcasually。\"Areyougoingdown-town?\"sheinquired。
\"Yes。\"
\"Whatfor?\"
\"JustsomethingIwanttoseeabout。I\'lltellyouwhenIcomeback。Anythingyouwantmetodo?\"
\"No;Iguessnotto-day。Ithoughtyoumightlookforarug,butI\'drathergowithyoutoselectit。We\'llhavetogetanewrugforyourfather\'sroom,Iexpect。\"
\"I\'mgladyouthinkso,mama。Idon\'tsupposehe\'severevennoticedit,butthatoldrugofhis——well,really!\"
\"Ididn\'tmeanforhim,\"hermotherexplained,thoughtfully。
\"No;hedon\'tmindit,andhe\'dlikelymakeafussifwechangeditonhisaccount。No;whatImeant——we\'llhavetoputyourfatherinWalter\'sroom。Hewon\'tmind,Idon\'texpect——notmuch。\"
\"No,Isupposenot,\"Aliceagreed,rathersadly。\"Iheardthebellawhileago。Wasitsomebodyaboutthat?\"
\"Yes;justbeforeIcameupstairs。Mrs。Lohrgavehimanotetome,andhewasreallyaverypleasant-lookingyoungman。AVERY
pleasant-lookingyoungman,\"Mrs。Adamsrepeatedwithincreasedanimationandathoughtfulglanceatherdaughter。\"He\'saMr。
WillDickson;hehasafirst-ratepositionwiththegasworks,Mrs。Lohrsays,andhe\'sfullyabletoaffordaniceroom。SoifyouandIdoubleupinhere,thenwiththatyoungmarriedcoupleinmyroom,andthisMr。Dicksoninyourfather\'s,we\'lljustabouthavethingssettled。IthoughtmaybeIcouldmakeonemoreplaceattable,too,sothatwiththeotherpeoplefromoutsidewe\'dbeservingelevenaltogether。YouseeifIhavetopaythiscooktwelvedollarsaweek——itcan\'tbehelped,I
guess——well,onemorewouldcertainlyhelptowardaprofit。Ofcourseit\'saterriblyworryingthingtoseehowweWILLcomeout。Don\'tyousupposewecouldsqueezeinonemore?\"
\"IsupposeitCOULDbemanaged;yes。\"
Mrs。Adamsbrightened。\"I\'msureit\'llbepleasanthavingthatyoungmarriedcoupleinthehouseandespeciallythisMr。WillDickson。Heseemedverymuchofagentleman,andanxioustogetsettledingoodsurroundings。Iwasveryfavourablyimpressedwithhimineveryway;andheexplainedtomeabouthisname;itseemsitisn\'tWilliam,it\'sjust\'Will\';hisparentshadhimchristenedthatway。It\'scurious。\"Shepaused,andthen,withanefforttoseemcasual,whichveilednothingfromherdaughter:
\"It\'sQUITEcurious,\"shesaidagain。\"Butit\'sratherattractiveanddifferent,don\'tyouthink?\"
\"Poormama!\"Alicelaughedcompassionately。\"Poormama!\"
\"Heis,though,\"Mrs。Adamsmaintained。\"He\'sverymuchofagentleman,unlessI\'mnojudgeofappearances;andit\'llreallybenicetohavehiminthehouse。\"
\"Nodoubt,\"Alicesaid,assheopenedherdoortodepart。\"I
don\'tsupposewe\'llmindhavinganyof\'emasmuchaswethoughtwewould。Good-bye。\"
Buthermotherdetainedher,catchingherbythearm。\"Alice,youdohateit,don\'tyou!\"
\"No,\"thegirlsaid,quickly。\"Therewasn\'tanythingelsetodo。\"
Mrs。Adamsbecameemotionalatonce:herfacecriedtragedy,andhervoicemisfortune。\"ThereMIGHThavebeensomethingelsetodo!Oh,Alice,yougaveyourfatherbadadvicewhenyouupheldhimintakingamiserablelittleninety-threehundredandfiftyfromthatoldwretch!Ifyourfather\'djusthadthegumptiontoholdout,they\'dhavehadtopayhimanythingheasked。Ifhe\'djusthadthegumptionandalittlemanlyCOURAGE——\"
\"Hush!\"Alicewhispered,forhermother\'svoicegrewlouder。
\"Hush!He\'llhearyou,mama。\"
\"Couldhehearmetoooften?\"theembitteredladyasked。\"Ifhe\'dlistenedtomeattherighttime,wouldwehavetobetakinginboardersandsinkingDOWNinthescaleattheendofourlives,insteadofgoingUP?Youwerebothwrong;wedidn\'tneedtobesopanicky——thatwasjustwhatthatoldmanwanted:toscareusandbuyusoutfornothing!Ifyourfather\'djustlistenedtomethen,orifforonceinhislifehe\'djustbeenhalfaMAN——\"
Aliceputherhandoverhermother\'smouth。\"Youmustn\'t!HeWILLhearyou!\"
ButfromtheothersideofAdams\'scloseddoorhisvoicecamequerulously。\"Oh,IHEARher,allright!\"
\"Yousee,mama?\"Alicesaid,and,asMrs。Adamsturnedaway,weeping,thedaughtersighed;thenwentintospeaktoherfather。
Hewasinhisoldchairbythetable,withapillowbehindhishead,butthecrochetedscarfandMrs。Adams\'swrapperswathedhimnomore;heworeadressing-gownhiswifehadboughtforhim,andwassmokinghispipe。\"Theoldstory,isit?\"hesaid,asAlicecamein。\"Thesame,sameoldstory!Well,well!Hasshegone?\"
\"Yes,papa。\"
\"Gotyourhaton,\"hesaid。\"Whereyougoing?\"
\"I\'mgoingdown-townonanerrandofmyown。Isthereanythingyouwant,papa?\"
\"Yes,thereis。\"Hesmiledather。\"Iwishyou\'dsitdownawhileandtalktomeunlessyourerrand——\"
\"No,\"shesaid,takingachairnearhim。\"IwasjustgoingdowntoseeaboutsomearrangementsIwasmakingformyself。There\'snohurry。\"
\"Whatarrangementsforyourself,dearie?\"
\"I\'lltellyouafterwards——afterIfindoutsomethingabout\'emmyself。\"
\"Allright,\"hesaid,indulgently。\"Keepyoursecrets;keepyoursecrets。\"Hepaused,drewmusinglyuponhispipe,andshookhishead。\"Funny——thewayyourmotherlooksatthings!Forthemattero\'that,everything\'sprettyfunny,Iexpect,ifyoustoptothinkaboutit。Forinstance,lethersayallshelikes,butwewerepushedrightspangtothewall,ifJ。A。Lambhadn\'ttakenitintohisheadtomakethatofferfortheworks;andthere\'soneofthethingsIbeenthinkingaboutlately,Alice:
thinkingabouthowfunnytheyworkout。\"
\"Whatdidyouthinkaboutit,papa!\"
\"Well,I\'veseenithappeninotherpeople\'slives,timeandtimeagain;andnowit\'shappenedinours。Youthinkyou\'regoingtobepushedrightupagainstthewall;youcan\'tseeanywayout,oranyhopeatall;youthinkyou\'reGONE——andthensomethingyounevercountedonturnsup;and,whilemaybeyouneverdogetbacktowhereyouusedtobe,yetsomehowyoukindofsquirmoutofbeingrightSPANGagainstthewall。Youkeepongoing——maybeyoucan\'tgomuch,butyoudogoalittle。SeewhatImean?\"
\"Yes。Iunderstand,dear。\"
\"Yes,I\'mafraidyoudo,\"hesaid。\"Toobad!Yououghtn\'ttounderstanditatyourage。ItseemstomeagooddealasiftheLordreallymeantfortheyoungpeopletohavethegoodtimes,andfortheoldtohavethetroubles;andwhenanybodyasyoungasyouhastroublethere\'sabigmistakesomewhere。\"
\"Oh,no!\"sheprotested。
Buthepersistedwhimsicallyinthisviewofdivineerror:\"Yes,itdoeslookagooddealthatway。Butofcoursewecan\'ttell;
we\'renevercertainaboutanything——notaboutanythingatall。
SometimesIlookatitanotherway,though。Sometimesitlookstomeasifabody\'stroublescameonhimmainlybecausehehadn\'thadsenseenoughtoknowhownottohaveany——asifhistroubleswerekindoflikeaboy\'sgettingkeptinafterschoolbytheteacher,togivehimdiscipline,orsomethingorother。
But,my,my!Wedon\'tlearneasy!\"Hechuckledmournfully。\"Nottolearnhowtolivetillwe\'reaboutreadytodie,itcertainlyseemstomedangtough!\"
\"ThenIwouldn\'tbroodonsuchanotion,papa,\"shesaid。
\"\'Brood?\'No!\"hereturned。\"Ijustkindo\'mullitover。\"Hechuckledagain,sighed,andthen,notlookingather,hesaid,\"ThatMr。Russell——yourmothertellsmehehasn\'tbeenhereagain——notsince——\"
\"No,\"shesaid,quietly,asAdamspaused。\"Henevercameagain。\"
\"Well,butmaybe——\"
\"No,\"shesaid。\"Thereisn\'tany\'maybe。\'Itoldhimgood-byethatnight,papa。ItwasbeforeheknewaboutWalter——Itoldyou。\"
\"Well,well,\"Adamssaid。\"Youngpeopleareentitledtotheirownprivacy;Idon\'twanttopry。\"Heemptiedhispipeintoachippedsauceronthetablebesidehim,laidthepipeaside,andrevertedtoaformertopic。\"Speakingofdying——\"
\"Well,butweweren\'t!\"Aliceprotested。
\"Yes,aboutnotknowinghowtolivetillyou\'rethroughliving——andTHENmaybenot!\"hesaid,chucklingathisowndeterminedpessimism。\"IseeI\'mprettyoldbecauseItalkthisway——IremembermygrandmothersayingthingsagooddeallikeallwhatI\'msayingnow;IusedtohearheratitwhenIwasayoungfellow——shewasarightgloomyoldlady,Iremember。Well,anyhow,itremindsme:IwanttogetonmyfeetagainassoonasIcan;Igottolookaroundandfindsomethingtogointo。\"
Aliceshookherheadgently。\"But,papa,hetoldyou——\"
\"Nevermindthrowingthatdangdoctorupatme!\"Adamsinterrupted,peevishly。\"HesaidI\'dbegoodforSOMEkindoflightjob——ifIcouldfindjusttherightthing。\'Wheretherewouldn\'tbeeitheranyphysicalormentalstrain,\'hesaid。
Well,Igottofindsomethinglikethat。Anyway,I\'llfeelbetterifIcanjustgetoutLOOKINGforit。\"
\"But,papa,I\'mafraidyouwon\'tfindit,andyou\'llbedisappointed。\"
\"Well,IwanttohuntaroundandSEE,anyhow。\"
Alicepattedhishand。\"Youmustjustbecontented,papa。
Everything\'sgoingtobeallright,andyoumustn\'tgettoworryingaboutdoinganything。Weownthishouseit\'sallclear——andyou\'vetakencareofmamaandmeallourlives;nowit\'sourturn。\"
\"No,sir!\"hesaid,querulously。\"Idon\'tliketheideaofbeingthelandlady\'shusbandaroundaboarding-house;itgoesagainstmygizzard。_I_know:makesoutthebillsforhiswifeSundaymornings——workswithascrew-driveronsomebody\'sbureaudrawersometimes——\'tendsthefurnacemaybe——onetheboardersgiveshimacigarnowandthen。That\'saFINElifetolookforwardto!No,sir;Idon\'twanttofinishasalandlady\'shusband!\"
Alicelookedgrave;forsheknewthesketchwasbuttooaccuratelypropheticineveryprobability。\"But,papa,\"shesaid,toconsolehim,\"don\'tyouthinkmaybethereisn\'tsuchathingasa\'finish,\'afterall!Yousayperhapswedon\'tlearntolivetillwediebutmaybethat\'showitisAFTERwedie,too——justlearningsomemore,thewaywedohere,andmaybethroughtroubleagain,evenafterthat。\"
\"Oh,itmightbe,\"hesighed。\"Iexpectso。\"
\"Well,then,\"shesaid,\"what\'stheuseoftalkingabouta\'finish?\'Wedokeeplookingaheadtothingsasifthey\'dfinishsomething,butwhenwegetTOthem,theydon\'tfinishanything。
They\'rejustpartofgoingon。I\'lltellyou——IlookedaheadallsummertosomethingIwasafraidof,andIsaidtomyself,\'Well,ifthathappens,I\'mfinished!\'Butitwasn\'tso,papa。Itdidhappen,andnothing\'sfinished;I\'mgoingon,justthesameonly——\"Shestoppedandblushed。
\"Onlywhat?\"heasked。
\"Well——\"Sheblushedmoredeeply,thenjumpedup,and,standingbeforehim,caughtbothhishandsinhers。\"Well,don\'tyouthink,sincewedohavetogoon,weoughtatleasttohavelearnedsomesenseabouthowtodoit?\"
Helookedupatheradoringly。
\"What_I_think,\"hesaid,andhisvoicetrembled;——\"Ithinkyou\'rethesmartestgirlintheworld!Iwouldn\'ttradeyouforthewholekit-and-boodleof\'em!\"
Butasthisfollyofhisthreatenedtomakehertearful,shekissedhimhastily,andwentforthuponhererrand。
Sincethenightofthetragic-comicdinnershehadnotseenRussell,norcaughteventheremotestchanceglimpseofhim;anditwascuriousthatsheshouldencounterhimasshewentuponsuchanerrandasnowengagedher。Atacorner,notfarfromthattobacconist\'sshopshehadjustleftwhenheovertookherandwalkedwithherforthefirsttime,shemethimto-day。Heturnedthecorner,comingtowardher,andtheywerefacetoface;
whereuponthatengagingfaceofRussell\'swasinstantlyreddened,butAlice\'sremainedserene。
Shestoppedshort,though;andsodidhe;thenshesmiledbrightlyassheputoutherhand。
\"Why,Mr。Russell!\"
\"I\'mso——I\'msogladtohavethis——thischance,\"hestammered。
\"I\'vewantedtotellyou——it\'sjustthatgoingintoanewundertaking——thisbusinesslife——onedoesn\'tgettodoagreatmanythingshe\'dliketo。Ihopeyou\'llletmecallagainsometime,ifIcan。\"
\"Yes,do!\"shesaid,cordially,andthen,withaquicknod,wentbrisklyon。
Shebreathedmorerapidly,butknewthathecouldnothavedetectedit,andshetooksomeprideinherselfforthewayshehadmetthislittlecrisis。Buttohavemetitwithsucheasycouragemeanttohersomethingmorereassuringthanamomentaryprideintheserenityshehadshown。Forshefoundthatwhatshehadresolvedinherinmostheartwasnowreallytrue:shewas\"throughwithallthat!\"
Shewalkedon,butmoreslowly,forthetobacconist\'sshopwasnotfarfromhernow——and,beyondit,thatportalofdoom,Frincke\'sBusinessCollege。AlreadyAlicecouldreadthebegrimedgiltlettersofthesign;andalthoughtheyhadspelleddestinyneverwithamorepainfulimminencethanjustthen,anoldhabitofdramatizingherselfstillprevailedwithher。
TherecameintohermindawhimsicalcomparisonofherfatewiththatoftheheroineinaFrenchromanceshehadreadlongagoandrememberedwell,forshehadcriedoverit。Thestoryendedwiththeheroine\'stakingtheveilafteradeathblowtolove;andthefinalsceneagainbecamevividtoAlice,foramoment。Again,aswhenshehadreadandwept,
sheseemedherselftostandamongthegreatshadowsinthecathedralnave;smelledthesmokyincenseontheenclosedair,andheardthesolemnpulsesoftheorgan。Sherememberedhowthenovice\'sfatherknelt,trembling,besideapillarofgraystone;howthefaithlessloverwatchedandshiveredbehindthestatueofasaint;howstifledsobsandoutcrieswereheardwhenthenovicecametothealtar;andhowashaftoflightstruckthroughtherose-window,envelopingherinanamberglow。
Itwasthevisionofamomentonly,andfornolongerthanamomentdidAlicetellherselfthattheromanceprovidedaprettierwayoftakingtheveilthanshehadchosen,andthatafaithlesslover,shakingwithremorsebehindasaint\'sstatue,wasagreatersolacethanoneleftonastreetcornerprotestingthathe\'dliketocallsometime——ifhecould!Herpityforherselfvanishedmorereluctantly;butsheshookitoffandtriedtosmileatit,andatherromanticrecollections——atallofthem。Shehadsomethingimportanttothinkof。
Shepassedthetobacconist\'s,andbeforeherwasthatdarkentrancetothewoodenstairwayleadinguptoFrincke\'sBusinessCollege——theverydoorwayshehadalwayslookeduponastheendofyouthandtheendofhope。
Howoftenshehadgonebyhere,hatingthedrearyobscurityofthatstairway;howoftenshehadthoughtofthisobscurityassomethinglyinginwaittoobliteratethefootstepsofanygirlwhoshouldascendintothesmokydarknessabove!Neverhadshepassedwithoutthoseominousimaginingsofhers:prettygirlsturningintooldmaids\"takingdictation\"——oldmaidsofadozendifferenttypes,yetalllookingalittlelikeherself。
Well,shewashereatlast!Shelookedupanddownthestreetquickly,andthen,withalittleheaveoftheshoulders,shewentbravelyin,underthesign,andbegantoclimbthewoodensteps。
Half-wayuptheshadowswereheaviest,butafterthattheplacebegantoseembrighter。Therewasanopenwindowoverheadsomewhere,shefound;andthestepsatthetopweregaywithsunshine。