AdamsbycolleaguesinhisdepartmentatLambandCompany\'s。
AdamshadshownsomefeelingwhenAlicebegantourgeitsremovaltoobscurityinthe\"upstairshall\";heevenresistedforseveraldaysaftershehadthe\"Colosseum\"chargedtohim,framedinoak,andsenttothehouse。Shecheeredhimup,ofcourse,whenhegaveway;andherheartnevermisgaveherthattheremightbeadoubtwhichofthetwopictureswasthemoredismaying。
Overthepictures,thevases,theoldbrownplushrocking-chairsandthestool,overthethreegiltchairs,overthenewchintz-coveredeasychairandthegrayveluresofa——overeverythingeverywhere,wasthefamiliarcoatingofsmokegrime。
Ithadworkedintoeveryfibreofthelacecurtains,dingyingthemtoanunpleasantgray;itlayonthewindow-sillsanditdimmedtheglasspanes;itcoveredthewalls,coveredtheceiling,andwassmeareddarkerandthickerinallcorners。Yetherewasnofaultofhousewifery;thecursecouldnotbelifted,astheingrainedsmudgespermanentontheoncewhitewoodworkproved。Thegrimewasperpetuallyrenewed;scrubbingonlygrounditin。
ThisparticularuglinesswassmallpartofAlice\'sdiscontent,forthoughthecoatinggrewalittledeepereachyearshewasusedtoit。Moreover,sheknewthatshewasnotlikelytofindanythingbetterinathousandmiles,solongasshekepttocities,andthatnoneofherfriends,howeveropulent,hadanyadvantageofherhere。Indeed,throughoutallthegreatsoft-coalcountry,peoplewhoconsiderthemselvescomparativelypoormayfindthisconsolation:cleanlinesshasbeenaddedtothevirtuesandbeatitudesthatmoneycannotbuy。
Alicebrightenedalittleasshewentforwardtothefrontdoor,andshebrightenedmorewhenthespringbreezemetherthere。
Thenalldepressionleftherasshewalkeddowntheshortbrickpathtothesidewalk,lookedupanddownthestreet,andsawhowbravelythemapleshade-trees,inspiteoftheblackpowdertheybreathed,wereflingingouttheirthousandsofyounggreenparticlesoverhead。
Sheturnednorth,treadingthenewlittleshadowsonthepavementbriskly,and,havingfinishedbuttoninghergloves,swungdownherMalaccastickfromunderherarmtoletittapamoreleisurelyaccompanimenttoherquick,shortstep。Shehadtostepquicklyifshewastogetanywhere;fortheclosenessofherskirt,inspiteofitslittlelength,permittednonaturalstride;butshewaspleasedtobeimpeded,thesebrevitiesformingpartofhershowoffashion。
Otherpedestriansfoundthemnotwithoutcharm,thoughapprovalmayhavebeenlackinghereandthere,andatthefirstcrossingAlicesufferedwhatshemighthaveaccountedanactualinjury,hadsheallowedherselftobesosensitive。Anelderlywomaninfussyblacksilkstoodthere,waitingforastreetcar;shewasallofaglobularmodelling,withafacepatternedlikeafrost-bittenpeach;andthattheapproachinggracefulnesswasuncongenialshenaivelymadetooevident。Herround,waneyesseemedrousedtobitterlifeastheyrosefromthecurvedhighheelsofthebuckledslipperstothetightlittleskirt,andthencewithstartledferocitytotheMalaccacane,whichplainlyappearedtoherasadecorationnotmoreastoundingthanitwasinsulting。
Perceivingthatthegirlwasbowingtoher,theglobularladyhurriedlymadeshifttoalterherinjuriousexpression。\"Goodmorning,Mrs。Dowling,\"Alicesaid,gravely。Mrs。DowlingreturnedthesalutationwithasmileasconvincinglybenevolentastheghastlysmileuponaSantaClausface;andthen,whileAlicepassedon,explodedtowardherasinglecompactedbreaththroughtightenedlips。
Thesoundwaseloquentlyaudible,thoughMrs。Dowlingremainedunawarethatinthisoranymannerwhatevershehadshedalightuponherthoughts;foritwasherlifelonginnocentconvictionthatotherpeoplesawheronlyasshewishedtobeseen,andheardfromheronlywhatsheintendedtobeheard。Athomeitwasalwaysherhusbandwhopulleddowntheshadesoftheirbedroomwindow。
Alicelookedseriousforafewmomentsafterthelittleencounter,thenfoundsomeconsolationinthebehaviourofagentlemanoffortyorsowhowascomingtowardher。LikeMrs。
Dowling,hehadbeguntoshowconsciousnessofAlice\'sapproachwhileshewasyetafaroff;buthistokenswereofakindpleasantertoher。HewaslikeMrs。Dowlingagain,however,inhisconceptionthatAlicewouldnotrealizethesignificanceofwhathedid。Hepassedhishandoverhisneck-scarftoseethatitlayneatlytohiscollar,smoothedalapelofhiscoat,andadjustedhishat,seemingtobepreoccupiedthewhilewithproblemsthatkepthiseyestothepavement;then,ashecamewithinafewfeetofher,helookedup,asinasurprisedrecognitionalmostdramatic,smiledwinningly,liftedhishatdecisively,andcarriedittothefullarm\'slength。
Alice\'sresponsewasallhecouldhaveasked。Thecaneinherrighthandstoppedshortinitsswing,whileherlefthandmovedinaprettygestureasifanimpulsecarriedittowardtheheart;
andshesmiled,withherunderlipcaughtsuddenlybetweenherteeth。Monthsagoshehadseenanactressusethissmileinaplay,anditcameperfectlytoAlicenow,withoutconsciousdirection,ithadbeensowellacquired;buttheprettyhand\'slittleimpulsetowardtheheartwasanoriginalbitallherown,onthespurofthemoment。
Thegentlemanwenton,passingfromherforwardvisionashereplacedhishat。OfhimselfhewasnothingtoAlice,exceptforthegraciouscircumstancethathehadshownstrongconsciousnessofaprettygirl。Hewasmiddle-aged,substantial,afamilyman,securelymarried;andAlicehadwithhimoneofthoselongacquaintancesthatneverbecomeemphasizedbysomuchasfiveminutesoftalk;yetforthisinconsequentmeetingshehadenactedalittlepartlikeafragmentinapantomimeofSpanishwooing。
Itwasnotforhim——noteventoimpresshim,exceptasamessenger。Alicewasherselfalmostunawareofherthought,whichwasoneoftherunningthousandsofherthoughtsthattooknodeliberateforminwords。Nevertheless,shehadit,anditwastheimpulseofallherprettybitsofpantomimewhenshemetotheracquaintanceswhomadetheirappreciationvisible,asthissubstantialgentlemandid。InAlice\'sunwordedthought,hewastobethusencouragedasinsomemeasureachampiontospeakwellofhertotheworld;butmorethanthis:hewastotellsomemagnificentunknownbachelorhowwonderful,howmysterious,shewas。
Shehastenedongravely,alittlestirredreciprocallywiththesupposedstirringsinthebreastofthatshadowyducalmate,whomustbesomewhere\"waiting,\"orperhapsalreadyseekingher;forshemoreoftenthoughtofherselfas\"waiting\"whilehesoughther;andsometimesthisviewofthingsbecamesodefinitethatitshapedintoamurmuronherlips。\"Waiting。Justwaiting。\"Andshemightadd,\"Forhim!\"Then,beingtwenty-two,shewasapttoconcludethemysticinterviewbylaughingatherself,thoughnotwithoutacontinuedwistfulness。
Shecametoagroupofsmallcolouredchildrenplayingwaywardlyinapuddleatthemouthofamuddyalley;andatsightofhertheygaveovertheirpastimeinordertostare。Shesmiledbrilliantlyuponthem,buttheyweretoostruckwithwondertocomprehendthatthemanifestationwasfriendly;andasAlicepickedherwayinalittledetourtokeepfromthemud,sheheardoneofthemsay,\"Ladygotcane!Jeez\'!\"
Sheknewthatmanycolouredchildrenuseimpietiesfamiliarly,andshewasnotstartled。Shewasdisturbed,however,byanunfavourablehintinthespeaker\'stone。Hewassix,probably,butthestingofacriticismisnotnecessarilyallayedbyknowledgeofitsignoblesource,andAlicehadalreadybeguntofeelaslightuneasinessabouthercane。Mrs。Dowling\'sstarehadbeenstrikinglyprojectedatit;otherwomenmorethanmerelyglanced,theirbrowsandlipscontractingimpulsively;andAlicewasawarethatoneortwoofthemfranklyhaltedassoonasshehadpassed。
Shehadseeninseveralmagazinespicturesofladieswithcanes,andonthataccountshehadboughtthisone,neverquestioningthatfashionisrecognized,evenintheprovinces,assoonasbeheld。Onthecontrary,thesestaringwomenobviouslyfailedtorealizethatwhattheywerebeingshownwasnotaneccentricoutburst,butthebrightharbingerofanillustriousmode。Alicehadappliedabitofartificialpigmenttoherlipsandcheeksbeforeshesetforththismorning;shedidnotneedit,havingareadycolourofherown,whichnowmountedhighwithannoyance。
Thenasplendidlyshiningclosedblackautomobile,withwindowsofpolishedglass,camesilentlydownthestreettowardher。
Withinit,asinaluxuriouslittleapartment,threecomelyladiesinmourningsatandgossiped;butwhentheysawAlicetheyclutchedoneanother。Theyinstantlyrecovered,bowingtohersolemnlyastheywereborneby,yetwerenotgonefromhersightsoswiftlybuttheedgeofhersideglancecaughtaflashofteethinmouthssuddenlyopened,andthedarkglistenofblackglovesagainclutchingtosharemirth。
ThecolourthatoutdidtherougeonAlice\'scheekextendeditsareaandgrewwarmerassherealizedhowalltoocordialhadbeenhernodandsmiletothesehumorousladies。Butintheiridentitylayasignificancecausingherasharpersmart,fortheywereofthefamilyofthatLamb,chiefofLambandCompany,whohademployedherfathersincebeforeshewasborn。
\"Andknowhissalary!They\'dbeSUREtofindoutaboutthat!\"
washerthought,coupledwithanotherbitteronetotheeffectthattheyhadprobablymadeinstantaneousfinancialestimatesofwhatsheworethoughcertainlyherwalking-stickhadmostfedtheirhilarity。
Shetuckeditunderherarm,notswingingitagain;andherbreathbecamequickandirregularasemotionbesether。Shehadbeenenjoyingherwalk,butwithinthespaceofthefewblocksshehadgonesinceshemetthesubstantialgentleman,shefoundthatmorethanthewalkwasspoiled:suddenlyherlifeseemedtobespoiled,too;thoughshedidnotviewtheruinwithcomplaisance。TheseLambwomenthoughtherandhercaneridiculous,didthey?shesaidtoherself。Thatwastheirparvenublood:tothinkbecauseagirl\'sfatherworkedfortheirgrandfathershehadnorighttoberatherstrikinginstyle,especiallywhenthestrikingWASherstyle。Probablyalltheothergirlsandwomenwouldagreewiththemandwouldlaughatherwhentheygottogether,and,whatmightbefatal,wouldtrytomakeallthementhinkherasillypretender。Menwerejustlikesheep,andnothingwaseasierthanforwomentosetupasshepherdsandpentheminafold。\"Tokeepoutoutsiders,\"Alicethought。\"Andmake\'embelieveIAManoutsider。What\'stheuseofliving?\"
Allseemedlostwhenatrimyoungmanappeared,stridingoutofacross-streetnotfarbeforeher,and,turningatthecorner,cametowardher。Visibly,heslackenedhisgaittolengthenthetimeofhisapproach,and,ashewasastrangertoher,nomotivecouldbeascribedtohimotherthanawishtohavealongertimetolookather。
Sheliftedaprettyhandtoapinatherthroat,bitherlip——notwiththesmile,butmysteriously——andatthelastinstantbeforehershadowtouchedthestranger,lethereyesgravelymeethis。
Amomentlater,havingarrivedbeforethehousewhichwasherdestination,shehaltedattheentrancetoadrivewayleadingthroughfinelawnstotheintentionallyimportantmansion。Itwasapleasantandimpressiveplacetobeseenentering,butAlicedidnotenteratonce。Shepaused,examiningatinybitofmortarwhichthemasonshadforgottentoscrapefromabrickinoneofthemassivegate-posts。Shefrownedatthistinydefacement,andwithanairofannoyancescrapeditaway,usingtheferruleofhercaneanactoffastidiousproprietorship。Ifanyonehadlookedbackoverhisshoulderhewouldnothavedoubtedthatshelivedthere。
Alicedidnotturntoseewhetheranythingofthesorthappenedornot,butshemayhavesurmisedthatitdid。Atallevents,itwaswithaninvigoratedstepthatsheleftthegatewaybehindherandwentcheerfullyupthedrivetothehouseofherfriendMildred。
CHAPTERIV
Adamshadarestlessmorning,andtowardnoonheaskedMissPerrytocallhisdaughter;hewishedtosaysomethingtoher。
\"IthoughtIheardherleavingthehouseacoupleofhoursago——maybelonger,\"thenursetoldhim。\"I\'llgosee。\"Andshereturnedfromthebrieferrand,herimpressionconfirmedbyinformationfromMrs。Adams。\"Yes。ShewentuptoMissMildredPalmer\'stoseewhatshe\'sgoingtowearto-night。\"
AdamslookedatMissPerrywearily,butremainedpassive,makingnoinquiries;forhewaslongaccustomedtowhatseemedtohimakindofjargonamongladies,whichbecamethemoreincomprehensiblewhentheytriedtoexplainit。Aman\'sbestcourse,hehadfound,wasjusttoletitgoassomuchsound。
Hissorrowfuleyesfollowedthenurseasshewentbacktoherrocking-chairbythewindow,andherplacidityshowedhimthattherewasnomysteryforherinthefactthatAlicewalkedtwomilestoasksosimpleaquestionwhentherewasatelephoneinthehouse。ObviouslyMissPerryalsocomprehendedwhyAlicethoughtitimportanttoknowwhatMildredmeanttowear。AdamsunderstoodwhyAliceshouldbeconcernedwithwhatsheherselfwore\"tolookneatandtidyandatherbest,why,ofcourseshe\'dwantto,\"hethought——butherealizedthatitwasforeverbeyondhimtounderstandwhytheclothingofotherpeoplehadlongsincebecomeanabsorbingpartofherlife。
Herexcursionthismorningwasnonovelty;shewascontinuallygoingtoseewhatMildredmeanttowear,orwhatsomeothergirlmeanttowear;andwhenAlicecamehomefromwhereverothergirlsorwomenhadbeengathered,shealwayshurriedtohermotherwithearnestdescriptionsoftheclothingshehadseen。Atsuchtimes,ifAdamswaspresent,hemightrecognize\"organdie,\"or\"taffeta,\"or\"chiffon,\"aswordsdefiningcertaintextiles,buttherestwastootechnicalforhim,andhewaslikeadismalboyatasermon,justwaitingforittogetitselffinished。Nottheleastofthemysterywashiswife\'sinterest:shewasalmostindifferentaboutherownclothes,andwhensheconsultedAliceaboutthemspokehurriedlyandwithanairofapology;butwhenAlicedescribedotherpeople\'sclothes,Mrs。Adamslistenedaseagerlyasthedaughtertalked。
\"Theretheygo!\"hemutteredto-day,amomentafterheheardthefrontdoorclosing,asoundrecognizablethroughoutmostofthethinlybuilthouse。Alicehadjustreturned,andMrs。Adamscalledtoherfromtheupperhallway,notfarfromAdams\'sdoor。
\"WhatdidsheSAY?\"
\"Shewassortofsnippyaboutit,\"Alicereturned,ascendingthestairs。\"Shegetsthatwaysometimes,andpretendedshehadn\'tmadeuphermind,butI\'mprettysureit\'llbethemaizeGeorgettewithMalinesflounces。\"
\"Didn\'tyousaysheworethatatthePattersons\'?\"Mrs。Adamsinquired,asAlicearrivedatthetopofthestairs。\"Anddidn\'tyoutellmesheworeitagainatthe——\"
\"Certainlynot,\"Aliceinterrupted,ratherpetulantly。\"She\'sneverwornitbutonce,andofcourseshewouldn\'twanttowearanythingto-nightthatpeoplehaveseenherinalot。\"
MissPerryopenedthedoorofAdams\'sroomandsteppedout。
\"Yourfatherwantstoknowifyou\'llcomeandseehimaminute,,MissAdams。\"
\"Pooroldthing!Ofcourse!\"Aliceexclaimed,andwentquicklyintotheroom,MissPerryremainingoutside。\"What\'sthematter,papa?Gettingawfulsickoflyingonhistiredoldback,I
expect。\"
\"I\'vehadkindofapoormorning,\"Adamssaid,asshepattedhishandcomfortingly。\"Ibeenthinking——\"
\"Didn\'tItellyounotto?\"shecried,gaily。\"Ofcourseyou\'llhavepoortimeswhenyougoanddojustexactlywhatIsayyoumustn\'t。Youstopthinkingthisveryminute!\"
Hesmiledruefully,closinghiseyes;wassilentforamoment,thenaskedhertositbesidethebed。\"IbeenthinkingofsomethingIwantedtosay,\"headded。
\"Whatlike,papa?\"
\"Well,it\'snothing——much,\"hesaid,withsomethingdeprecatoryinhistone,asifhefeltvagueimpulsestowardbothhumourandapology。\"IjustthoughtmaybeIoughtto\'vesaidmoretoyousometimeorotherabout——well,aboutthewaythingsARE,downatLambandCompany\'s,forinstance。\"
\"Now,papa!\"Sheleanedforwardinthechairshehadtaken,andpretendedtoslaphishandcrossly。\"Isn\'tthatexactlywhatI
saidyoucouldn\'tthinkonesinglethinkabouttillyougetALL
well?\"
\"Well——\"hesaid,andwentonslowly,notlookingather,butattheceiling。\"Ijustthoughtmaybeitwouldn\'tbeenanyharmifsometimeorotherItoldyousomethingaboutthewaytheysortofdependonmedownthere。\"
\"Whydon\'ttheyshowit,then?\"sheasked,quickly。\"That\'sjustwhatmamaandIhavebeenfeelingsomuch;theydon\'tappreciateyou。\"
\"Why,yes,theydo,\"hesaid。\"Yes,theydo。Theybeganh\'istingmysalarythesecondyearIwentinthere,andthey\'veh\'isteditalittleeverytwoyearsallthetimeI\'veworkedfor\'em。I\'vebeenheadofthesundriesdepartmentforsevenyearsnow,andIcouldhardlyhavemoreauthorityinthatdepartmentunlessIwasamemberofthefirmitself。\"
\"Well,whydon\'ttheymakeyouamemberofthefirm?That\'swhattheyoughtto\'vedone!Yes,andlongago!\"
Adamslaughed,butsighedwithmoreheartinessthanhehadlaughed。\"Theycallmetheir\'oldeststand-by\'downthere。\"Helaughedagain,apologetically,asiftoexcusehimselffortakingalittleprideinthistitle。\"Yes,sir;theysayI\'mtheir\'oldeststand-by\';andIguesstheyknowtheycancountonmydepartment\'sturninginasgoodareportastheylookfor,attheendofeverymonth;buttheydon\'thavetotakeamanintothefirmtogethimtodomywork,dearie。\"
\"Butyousaidtheydependedonyou,papa。\"
\"Sotheydo;butofcoursenotso\'stheycouldn\'tgetalongwithoutme。\"Hepaused,reflecting。\"Idon\'tjustseemtoknowhowtoputit——ImeanhowtoputwhatIstartedouttosay。I
kindofwantedtotellyou——well,itseemsfunnytome,theselastfewyears,thewayyourmother\'stakentofeelingaboutit。
I\'dliketoseeabetterestablishedwholesaledrugbusinessthanLambandCompanythissidetheAlleghanies——Idon\'tsaybigger,I
saybetterestablished——andit\'skindoffunnyforamanthat\'sbeenwithabusinesslikethataslongasIhavetohearitcalleda\'hole。\'It\'skindoffunnywhenyouthink,yourself,you\'vedoneprettyfairlywellinabusinesslikethat,andthemenattheheadofitseemtothinkso,too,andputyoursalaryjustaboutashighasanybodycouldconsidercustomary——well,whatImean,Alice,it\'skindoffunnytohaveyourmotherthinkit\'smostlyjust——mostlyjustafailure,sotospeak。\"
Hisvoicehadbecometremulousinspiteofhim;andthissignofweaknessandemotionhadsufficienteffectuponAlice。Shebentoverhimsuddenly,withherarmabouthimandhercheekagainsthis。\"Poorpapa!\"shemurmured。\"Poorpapa!\"
\"No,no,\"hesaid。\"Ididn\'tmeananythingtotroubleyou。I
justthought——\"Hehesitated。\"Ijustwondered——Ithoughtmaybeitwouldn\'tbeanyharmifIsaidsomethingabouthowthingsAREdownthere。Igottothinkingmaybeyoudidn\'tunderstandit\'saprettygoodplace。They\'refinepeopletoworkfor;andthey\'vealwaysseemedtothinksomethingofme;——thewaytheytookWalteron,forinstance,soonasIasked\'em,lastyear。Don\'tyouthinkthatlookedagooddealasiftheythoughtsomethingofme,Alice?\"
\"Yes,papa,\"shesaid,notmoving。
\"Andthework\'srightpleasant,\"hewenton。\"Mightyniceboysinourdepartment,Alice。Well,theyareinallthedepartments,forthatmatter。Wehaveagooddealoffundowntheresomedays。\"
Sheliftedherhead。\"Morethanyoudoathome\'somedays,\'I
expect,papa!\"shesaid。
Heprotestedfeebly。\"Now,Ididn\'tmeanthat——Ididn\'twanttotroubleyou——\"
Shelookedathimthroughwinkingeyelashes。\"I\'msorryIcalledita\'hole,\'papa。\"
\"No,no,\"heprotested,gently。\"Itwasyourmothersaidthat。\"
\"No。Idid,too。\"
\"Well,ifyoudid,itwasonlybecauseyou\'dheardher。\"
Sheshookherhead,thenkissedhim。\"I\'mgoingtotalktoher,\"
shesaid,androsedecisively。
Butatthis,herfather\'stroubledvoicebecamequicklylouder:
\"Youbetterletheralone。Ijustwantedtohavealittletalkwithyou。Ididn\'tmeantostartany——yourmotherwon\'t——\"
\"Now,papa!\"Alicespokecheerfullyagain,andsmileduponhim。
\"Iwantyoutoquitworrying!Everything\'sgoingtobeallrightandnobody\'sgoingtobotheryouanymoreaboutanything。You\'llsee!\"
Shecarriedhersmileoutintothehall,butaftershehadclosedthedoorherfacewasallpity;andhermother,waitingforherintheoppositeroom,spokesympathetically。
\"What\'sthematter,Alice?Whatdidhesaythat\'supsetyou?\"
\"Waitaminute,mama。\"Alicefoundahandkerchief,useditforeyesandsuffusednose,gulped,thensuddenlyanddesolatelysatuponthebed。\"Poor,poor,POORpapa!\"shewhispered。
\"Why?\"Mrs。Adamsinquired,mildly。\"What\'sthematterwithhim?Sometimesyouactasifheweren\'tgettingwell。What\'shebeentalkingabout?\"
\"Mama——well,IthinkI\'mprettyselfish。Oh,Ido!\"
\"Didhesayyouwere?\"
\"Papa?No,indeed!WhatImeanis,maybewe\'rebothalittleselfishtotrytomakehimgooutandhuntaroundforsomethingnew。\"
Mrs。Adamslookedthoughtful。\"Oh,that\'swhathewasupto!\"
\"Mama,Ithinkweoughttogiveitup。Ididn\'tdreamithadreallyhurthim。\"
\"Well,doesn\'thehurtus?\"
\"NeverthatIknowof,mama。\"
\"Idon\'tmeanbySAYINGthings,\"Mrs。Adamsexplained,impatiently。\"Therearemorewaysthanthatofhurtingpeople。
Whenamanstickstoasalarythatdoesn\'tprovideforhisfamily,isn\'tthathurtingthem?\"
\"Oh,it\'provides\'foruswellenough,mama。Wehavewhatweneed——ifIweren\'tsoextravagant。Oh,_I_knowIam!\"
Butatthisadmissionhermothercriedoutsharply。
\"\'Extravagant!\'Youhaven\'tonetenthofwhattheothergirlsyougowithhave。AndyouCAN\'Thavewhatyououghttoaslongashedoesn\'tgetoutofthathorribleplace。Itprovidesbarefoodandshelterforus,butwhat\'sthat?\"
\"Idon\'tthinkweoughttotryanymoretochangehim。\"
\"Youdon\'t?\"Mrs。Adamscameandstoodbeforeher。\"Listen,Alice:yourfather\'sasleep;that\'shistrouble,andhe\'sgottobewakedup。Hedoesn\'tknowthatthingshavechanged。WhenyouandWalterwerelittlechildrenwedidhaveenough——atleastitseemedtobeaboutasmuchasmostofthepeopleweknew。Butthetownisn\'twhatitwasinthosedays,andtimesaren\'twhattheywerethen,andthesefearfulPRICESaren\'ttheoldprices。
Everythingelsebutyourfatherhaschanged,andallthetimehe\'sstoodstill。Hedoesn\'tknowit;hethinksbecausethey\'vegivenhimahundreddollarsmoreeverytwoyearshe\'squiteaprosperousman!AndhethinksthatbecausehischildrencosthimmorethanheandIcostourparentshegivesthem——enough!\"
\"ButWalter——\"Alicefaltered。\"Walterdoesn\'tcosthimanythingatallanymore。\"Andsheconcluded,inastrickenvoice,\"It\'sall——me!\"
\"Whyshouldn\'titbe?\"hermothercried。\"You\'reyoung——you\'rejustatthetimewhenyourlifeshouldbefullestofgoodthingsandhappiness。Yetwhatdoyouget?\"
Alice\'slipquivered;shewasnotunsusceptibletosuchanappeal,butshecontrivedthesemblanceofaprotest。\"Idon\'thavesuchabadtimenotagoodDEALofthetime,anyhow。I\'vegotagoodMANYofthethingsothergirlshave——\"
\"Youhave?\"Mrs。Adamswaspiteouslysatirical。\"Isupposeyou\'vegotalimousinetogotothatdanceto-night?Isupposeyou\'veonlygottocallafloristandtellhimtosendyousomeorchids?Isupposeyou\'ve——\"
ButAliceinterruptedthislist。Apparentlyinasingleinstantallemotionlefther,andshebecamebusinesslike,asoneinthemidstoftriflesremindedofreallyseriousmatters。Shegotupfromthebedandwenttothedooroftheclosetwhereshekeptherdresses。\"Oh,seehere,\"shesaid,briskly。\"I\'vedecidedtowearmywhiteorgandieifyoucouldputinanewliningforme。I\'mafraidit\'lltakeyounearlyallafternoon。\"
Shebroughtforththedress,displayedituponthebed,andMrs。
Adamsexamineditattentively。
\"Doyouthinkyoucouldgetitdone,mama?\"
\"Idon\'tseewhynot,\"Mrs。Adamsanswered,passingathoughtfulhandoverthefabric。\"Itoughtn\'ttotakemorethanfourorfivehours。\"
\"It\'sashametohaveyousitatthemachinethatlong,\"Alicesaid,absently,adding,\"AndI\'msureweoughttoletpapaalone。
Let\'sjustgiveitup,mama。\"
Mrs。Adamscontinuedherthoughtfulexaminationofthedress。
\"Didyoubuythechiffonandribbon,Alice?\"
\"Yes。I\'msureweoughtn\'ttotalktohimaboutitanymore,mama。\"
\"Well,we\'llsee。\"
\"Let\'sbothagreethatwe\'llNEVERsayanothersinglewordtohimaboutit,\"saidAlice。\"It\'llbeagreatdealbetterifwejustlethimmakeuphismindforhimself。\"
CHAPTERV
Withthis,havingmoreimmediatelypracticalquestionsbeforethem,theydroppedthesubject,tobendtheirentireattentionuponthedress;andwhenthelunch-gongsoundeddownstairsAlicewasstillsketchingrepairsandalterations。Shecontinuedtosketchthem,notheedingthesummons。
\"Isupposewe\'dbettergodowntolunch,\"Mrs。Adamssaid,absently。\"She\'satthegongagain。\"Inaminute,mama。Nowaboutthesleeves——\"Andshewentonwithherplanning。
Unfortunatelythegongwasinexpressiveofthemoodofthepersonwhobeatuponit。Itconsistedofthreelittlemetalbowlsuponastring;theywereunequalinsize,and,uponbeingtappedwithapaddedstick,gaveforthvibrationsalmostmusicallypleasant。
ItwasAlicewhohadsubstitutedthiscontrivanceforthebrass\"dinner-bell\"inusethroughoutherchildhood;andneithershenortheothersofherfamilyrealizedthatthesubstitutionofsweetersoundshadmadethelifeofthathouseholdmoredifficult。Inspiteofdismayingincreasesinwages,theAdamsesstillstrovetokeepacook;and,astheywereunabletopaythehigherratesdemandedbyagoodone,whattheyusuallyhadwasawhimsicalcolouredwomanofnomadicimpulses。Inthehandsofsuchapersontheold-fashioned\"dinner-bell\"wassatisfying;
lifecouldinstantlybemadeintolerableforanyonedawdlingonhiswaytoameal;thebellwascapableofeverydesirableprofanityandleftnothingbottledupinthebreastoftheringer。Butthechamois-coveredstickmightwhackuponAlice\'slittleChinesebowlsforaconsiderablelengthoftimeandproducenogreateffectofurgencyuponahearer,noranyothereffect,exceptfuryinthecook。Theironicalimpossibilityofexpressingindignationotherwisethanbysoundsofgentleharmonyprovedexasperating;thecookwasapttobecomesurcharged,sothatexplosiveresignations,neverrare,weresomewhatmorefrequentaftertheintroductionofthegong。
Mrs。Adamstookthisincreasedfrequencytobeonlyanothermanifestationoftheinexplicablenewdifficultiesthatbesetallhousekeeping。Youpaidacookdoublewhatyouhadpaidoneafewyearsbefore;andthecookknewhalfasmuchofcookery,andhadnogratitude。Themoreyougavethesepeople,itseemed,theworsetheybehaved——aconditionnottoberemediedbysimplygivingthemless,becauseyoucouldn\'tevengettheworstunlessyoupaidherwhatshedemanded。Nevertheless,Mrs。Adamsremainedfitfullyanoptimistinthematter。Broughtupbyhermothertospeakofafemalecookas\"thegirl,\"shehadbeeninstructedbyAlicetodropthatdefinitioninfavourofonenotanimprovementinaccuracy:\"themaid。\"Almostalways,duringthefirstdayorsoaftereverycookcame,Mrs。Adamswouldsay,atintervals,withanairoftriumph:\"Ibelieve——ofcourseit\'salittlesoontobesure——butIdoreallybelievethisnewmaidisthetreasurewe\'vebeenlookingforsolong!\"MuchinthesamewaythatAlicedreamedofamysteriousperfectmateforwhomshe\"waited,\"hermotherhadafairytheorythathiddensomewhereintheuniversetherewasthetreasure,theperfect\"maid,\"whowouldcomeandcookintheAdamses\'kitchen,notfourdaysorfourweeks,butforever。
Thepresentincumbentwasnotshe。Alice,profoundlyinterestedherself,kepthermotherlikewisesopreoccupiedwiththedressthattheywerebutvaguelyconsciousofthegong\'ssoftwarnings,thoughthesewererepeatedandprotractedunusually。Finallythesoundofaheartyvoice,independentandenraged,reachedthepair。Itcamefromthehallbelow。
\"Isaysgoo\'-BYE!\"itcalled。\"Da\'ssall!\"
Thenthefrontdoorslammed。
\"Why,what——\"Mrs。Adamsbegan。
Theywentdownhurriedlytofindout。MissPerryinformedthem。
\"Icouldn\'tmakeherlistentoreason,\"shesaid。\"Sherangthegongfourorfivetimesandgottotalkingtoherself;andthenshewentuptoherroomandpackedherbag。Itoldhershehadnobusinesstogooutthefrontdoor,anyhow。\"
Mrs。Adamstookthenewsphilosophically。\"IthoughtshehadsomethinglikethatinhereyewhenIpaidherthismorning,andI\'mnotsurprised。Well,wewon\'tletMr。Adamsknowanything\'sthemattertillIgetanewone。\"
Theyluncheduponwhatthelateincumbenthadleftchillingonthetable,andthenMrs。Adamspreparedtowashthedishes;shewould\"havethemdoneinajiffy,\"shesaid,cheerfully。ButitwasAlicewhowashedthedishes。
\"IDON\'Tliketohaveyoudothat,Alice,\"hermotherprotested,followingherintothekitchen。\"Itroughensthehands,andwhenagirlhashandslikeyours——\"
\"Iknow,mama。\"Alicelookedtroubled,butshookherhead。\"Itcan\'tbehelpedthistime;you\'llneedeveryminutetogetthatdressdone。\"
Mrs。Adamswentawaylamenting,whileAlice,noexpert,begantosplashtheplatesandcupsandsaucersinthewarmwater。Afterawhile,assheworked,hereyesgrewdreamy:shewasmakinglittlegay-colouredpicturesofherself,unfoundedpropheciesofhowshewouldlookandwhatwouldhappentoherthatevening。
Shesawherself,charminganddemure,wearingafluffyidealizationofthedresshermothernowdeterminedlystruggledwithupstairs;shesawherselfframedinagarlandedarchway,theentrancetoaballroom,andsawthepeopleontheshiningfloorturningdramaticallytolookather;thenfromallpointsarushofyoungmenshoutingfordanceswithher;andsheconstructedasuperbstranger,tall,dark,masterfullysmiling,whoswungheroutoftheclamouringgroupasthemusicbegan。Shesawherselfdancingwithhim,sawthehalf-troubledsmileshewouldgivehim;
andsheaccuratelysmiledthatsmileassherinsedtheknivesandforks。
Thesehopefulfragmentsofdramawerenottoberealized,sheknew;butsheplayedthattheyweretrue,andwentoncreatingthem。Inallofthemsheworeorcarriedflowers——hermother\'ssorrowforherinthisdetailbutmadeitthemoreimportant——
andshesawherselfglamorouswithorchids;discardedtheseforanarmfuloflong-stemmed,heavyroses;tossedthemawayforagreatbouquetofwhitecamellias;andsowandereddownalengtheninghothousegalleryoffloralbeauty,allcostlyandbeyondherreachexceptinsuchawistfulday-dream。Anduponherpresentwholehorizon,thoughshesearcheditearnestly,shecoulddiscovernofigureofasenderofflowers。
Outofherfanciesthedesireforflowerstowearthatnightemergeddefinitelyandbecamepoignant;shebegantofeelthatitmightbeparticularlyimportanttohavethem。\"Thismightbethenight!\"Shewasstillattheagetodreamthatthenightofanydancemaybethevitalpointindestiny。Nomatterhowcommonplaceordisappointingotherdancenightshavebeenthisonemaybringthegreatmeeting。Theunknownmagnificomaybethere。
Alicewasalmostunawareofherownreveriesinwhichthisbeingappeared——reveriesoftensotransitorythattheydevelopedandpassedinafewseconds。Andinsomeofthemthebeingwasnotwhollyastranger;thereweremomentswhenheseemedtobecomposedofrecognizablefragmentsofyoungmensheknew——asmileshehadliked,fromone;thefigureofanother,thehairofanother——andsometimesshethoughthemightbeconcealed,sotosay,withinthepersonofanactualacquaintance,someoneshehadneversuspectedofbeingtherightseekerforher,someonewhohadneversuspectedthatitwasshewho\"waited\"forhim。
Anythingmightrevealthemtoeachother:alook,aturnofthehead,asingularword——perhapssomeflowersuponherbreastorinherhand。
Shewipedthedishesslowly,concludingtheoperationbydroppingasaucerupontheflooranddreamilysweepingthefragmentsunderthestove。Shesighedandreplacedthebroomnearawindow,lettingherglancewanderoverthesmallyardoutside。Thegrass,repulsivelybesootedtothecolourofcoal-smokeallwinter,hadlatelycometolifeagainandnowsparkledwithgreen,inthemidstofwhichatinyshotofbluesuddenlyfixedherabsenteyes。Theyremaineduponitforseveralmoments,becominglessabsent。
Itwasaviolet。
Aliceranupstairs,putonherhat,wentoutdoorsandbegantosearchouttheviolets。Shefoundtwenty-two,abrightomen——sincethenumberwasthatofheryears——butnotenoughviolets。Therewerenomore;shehadransackedeveryfootoftheyard。
Shelookeddubiouslyatthelittlebunchinherhand,glancedatthelawnnextdoor,whichofferednofavourableprospect;thenwentthoughtfullyintothehouse,lefthertwenty-twovioletsinabowlofwater,andcamequicklyoutagain,herbrowmarkedwithafrownofdecision。Shewenttoatrolley-lineandtookacartotheoutskirtsofthecitywhereanewparkhadbeenopened。
Heresheresumedhersearch,butitwasnotaneasilyrewardedone,andforanhourafterherarrivalshefoundnoviolets。Shewalkedconscientiouslyoverthewholestretchofmeadow,hereyesrovingdiscontentedly;therewasneverabluedotinthegroomedexpanse;butatlast,asshecamenearthebordersofanoldgroveoftrees,leftuntouchedbythemunicipallandscapers,thelittleflowersappeared,andshebegantogatherthem。Shepickedthemcarefully,looseningtheearthroundeachtinyplant,soastobringtherootsupwithit,thatitmightlivethelonger;andshehadbroughtanapkin,whichshedrenchedatahydrant,andkeptlooselywrappedaboutthestemsofhercollection。
Theturfwastoodampforhertokneel;sheworkedpatiently,stoopingfromthewaist;andwhenshegothomeinadrizzleofrainatfiveo\'clockherkneesweretremulouswithstrain,herbackached,andshewastiredallover,butshehadthreehundredviolets。HermothermoanedwhenAliceshowedthemtoher,fragrantinabasinofwater。
\"Oh,youPOORchild!Tothinkofyourhavingto:worksohardtogetthingsthatothergirlsonlyneed;lifttheirlittlefingersfor!\"
\"Nevermind,\"saidAlice,huskily。\"I\'vegot\'emandIAMgoingtohaveagoodtimeto-night!\"
\"You\'vejustgotto!\"Mrs。Adamsagreed,intenselysympathetic。
\"TheLordknowsyoudeserveto,afterpickingalltheseviolets,poorthing,andHewouldn\'tbemeanenoughtokeepyoufromit。
ImayhavetogetdinnerbeforeIfinishthedress,butIcangetitdoneinafewminutesafterward,andit\'sgoingtolookrightpretty。Don\'tyouworryaboutTHAT!Andwithalltheselovelyviolets——\"
\"Iwonder——\"Alicebegan,paused,thenwenton,fragmentarily:
\"Isuppose——well,Iwonder——doyousupposeitwouldhavebeenbetterpolicytohavetoldWalterbefore——\"
\"No,\"saidhermother。\"Itwouldonlyhavegivenhimlongertogrumble。\"
\"Buthemight——\"
\"Don\'tworry,\"Mrs。Adamsreassuredher。\"He\'llbealittlecross,buthewon\'tbestubborn;justletmetalktohimanddon\'tyousayanythingatall,nomatterwhatHEsays。\"
ThesereferencestoWalterconcernedsomenecessarymanoeuvreswhichtookplaceatdinner,andwereconductedbythemother,Alicehavingacceptedheradvicetositinsilence。Mrs。Adamsbeganbylaughingcheerfully。\"IwonderhowmuchlongerittookmetocookthisdinnerthanitdoesWaltertoeatit?\"shesaid。
\"Don\'tgobble,child!There\'snohurry。\"
IncontactwithhisownfamilyWalterwasnosquandererofwords。