Theywantworldsofwaistcoatsandforestsoftrousersandpagodasoftallhatstopplinguptothestars。
ThusitiswiththelingeringMummersatChristmasinthecountry。IfourmorerefinedreviversofMiraclePlaysorMorriceDancestriedtoreconstructtheoldMummers\'PlayofSt。GeorgeandtheTurkishKnightIdonotknowwhytheydonottheywouldthinkatonceofpicturesqueandappropriatedresses。St。George\'spanoplywouldbepicturedfromthebestbooksofarmourandblazonry:theTurkishKnight\'sarmsandornamentswouldbetracedfromthefinestSaracenicarabesques。WhenmygardendooropenedonChristmasEveandSt。GeorgeofEnglandentered，theappearanceofthatchampionwasslightlydifferent。Hisfacewasenergeticallyblackedalloverwithsoot，abovewhichheworeanagedandverytalltophat；heworehisshirtoutsidehiscoatlikeasurplice，andheflourishedathickumbrella。Nowdonot，Ibegyou，talkabout\"ignorance\"；orsupposethattheMummerinquestionheisaverypleasantRatcatcher，withatenorvoicedidthisbecauseheknewnobetter。TrytorealisethatevenaRatcatcherknowsSt。GeorgeofEnglandwasnotblack，anddidnotkilltheDragonwithanumbrella。TheRat-catcherisnotunderthisdelusion；anymorethanPaulVeronesethoughtthatverygoodmenhaveluminousringsroundtheirheads；anymorethanthePopethinksthatChristwashedthefeetofthetwelveinaCathedral；anymorethantheDukeofNorfolkthinksthelionsonatabardarelikethelionsattheZoo。Thesethingsaredenaturalisedbecausetheyaresymbols；becausetheextraordinaryoccasionmusthideorevendisfiguretheordinarypeople。BlackfacesweretomediaevalmummerieswhatcarvedmasksweretoGreekplays:itwascalledbeing\"vizarded。”
MyRat-catcherisnotsufficientlyarroganttosupposeforamomentthathelookslikeSt。George。Butheissufficientlyhumbletobeconvincedthatifhelooksaslittlelikehimselfashecan，hewillbeontherightroad。
ThisisthesoulofMumming；theostentatioussecrecyofmenindisguise。
Thereare，ofcourse，othermediaevalelementsinitwhicharealsodifficulttoexplaintothefastidiousmediaevalistsofto-day。Thereis，forinstance，acertainoutputofviolenceintothevoid。Itcanbestbedefinedasaragingthirsttoknockmendownwithoutthefaintestdesiretohurtthem。Alltherhymeswiththeoldringhavethetrickofturningoneverythinginwhichtherhymstersmostsincerelybelieved，merelyforthepleasureofblowingoffsteaminstartlingyetcarelessphrases。WhenTennysonsaysthatKingArthur\"drewallthepettyprincedomsunderhim，\"and\"madearealmandruled，\"hisgraveRoyalismisquitemodern。Manymediaevals，outsidethemediaevalrepublics，believedinmonarchyassolemnlyasTennyson。Butthatolderverse-
WhengoodKingArthurruledthislandHewasagoodlyKing——
Hestolethreepecksofbarley-mealTomakeabag-pudding。
isfarmoreArthurianthananythinginTheIdyllsoftheKing。Thereareotherelements；especiallythatsacredthingthatcanperhapsbecalledAnachronism。AllthattousisAnachronismwastomediaevalsmerelyEternity。ButthemainexcellenceoftheMummingPlayliesstill，I
think，initsuproarioussecrecy。Ifwecannothideourheartsinhealthydarkness，atleastwecanhideourfacesinhealthyblacking。Ifyoucannotescapelikeaphilosopherintoaforest，atleastyoucancarrytheforestwithyou，likeaJack-in-the-Green。Itiswelltowalkunderuniversalensigns；andthereisanoldtaleofatyranttowhomawalkingforestwasthewitnessofdoom。That，indeed，istheveryintensityofthenotion:amaskedmanisominous；butwhoshallfaceamobofmasks？
THEARISTOCRATIC\'ARRY
TheCheapTripper，pursuedbythecursesoftheaesthetesandtheantiquaries，reallyis，Isuppose，asymptomofthestrangeandalmostunearthlyuglinessofourdiseasedsociety。Thecostumesandcustomsofahundredpeasantriesaretheretoprovethatsuchuglinessdoesnotnecessarilyfollowfrommerepoverty，ormeredemocracy，ormereunletteredsimplicityofmind。
Butthoughthetripper，artisticallyconsidered，isasignofourdecadence，heisnotoneofitsworstsigns，butrelativelyoneofitsbest；oneofitsmostinnocentandmostsincere。Comparedwithmanyofthephilosophersandartistswhodenouncehim；helookslikeaGodfearingfisheroranoblemountaineer。Hisan-ticswithdonkeysandconcertinas，crowdedchar-abancs，andexchangedhats，thoughclumsy，arenotsoviciousorevensofundamentallyvulgarasmanyoftheamusementsoftheovereducated。Peoplearenotmorecrowdedonachar-a-bancthantheyareatapolitical\"AtHome，\"orevenanartisticsoiree；andifthefemaletrippersareoverdressed，atleasttheyarenotoverdressedandunderdressedatthesametime。Itisbettertorideadonkeythantobeadonkey。ItisbettertodealwiththeCockneyfestivalwhichasksmenandwomentochangehats，ratherthanwiththemodernUtopiathatwantsthemtochangeheads。
Butthetruthisthatsuchsmall，butreal，elementofvulgarityasthereisindeedinthetripper，ispartofacertainfollyandfalsitywhichischaracteristicofmuchmodernity，andespeciallyoftheverypeoplewhopersecutethepoortrippermost。Thereissomethinginthewholesociety，andevenespeciallyintheculturedpartofit，thatdoesthingsinaclumsyandunbeautifulway。
AcaseoccurstomeinthematterofStonehenge，whichIhappenedtovisityesterday。NowtoapersonreallycapableoffeelingthepoetryofStonehengeitisalmostasecondarymatterwhetherheseesStonehengeatall。ThevastvoidrolloftheemptylandtowardsSalisbury，thegraytablelandslikeprimevalaltars，thetrailingrain-clouds，thevapourofprimevalsacrifices，wouldalltellhimofaveryancientandverylonelyBritain。ItwouldnotspoilhisDruidicmoodifhemissedStonehenge。
ButitdoesspoilhismoodtofindStonehenge——surroundedbyabrand-newfenceofbarbedwire，withapolicemanandalittleshopsellingpicturepost-cards。
Nowifyouprotestagainstthis，educatedpeoplewillinstantlyansweryou，\"Oh，itwasdonetopreventthevulgartripperswhochipstonesandcarvenamesandspoilthelookofStonehenge。”ItdoesnotseemtooccurtothemthatbarbedwireandapolicemanratherspoilthelookofStonehenge。Thescratchingofaname，particularlywhenperformedwithbluntpenknifeorpencilbyapersonofimperfectSchoolBoardeducation，canbetrustedinalittlewhiletobeindistinguishablefromthegrayesthieroglyphicbythegrandestDruidofold。ButnobodycouldgetamodernpolicemanintothesamepicturewithaDruid。Thisreallyvitalpieceofvandalismwasdonebytheeducated，nottheuneducated；itwasdonebytheinfluenceoftheartistsorantiquarieswhowantedtopreservetheantiquebeautyofStonehenge。Itseemstomecurioustopreserveyourlady\'sbeautyfromfrecklesbyblackingherfaceallover；ortoprotectthepurewhitenessofyourweddinggarmentbydyeingitgreen。
Andifyouask，\"Butwhatelsecouldanyonehavedone，whatcouldthemostartisticagehavedonetosavethemonument？\"Ireply，\"TherearehundredsofthingsthatGreeksorMediaevalsmighthavedone；andIhavenonotionwhattheywouldhavechosen；butIsaythatbyaninstinctintheirwholesocietytheywouldhavedonesomethingthatwasdecentandseriousandsuitabletotheplace。Perhapssomefamilyofknightsorwarriorswouldhavethehereditarydutyofguardingsuchaplace。Ifsotheirarmourwouldbeappropriate；theirtentswouldbeappropriate；notdeliberately——theywouldgrowlikethat。Perhapssomereligiousordersuchasnormallyemploynocturnalwatchesandtherelievingofguardwouldprotectsuchaplace。Perhapsitwouldbeprotectedbyallsortsofrituals，consecrations，orcurses，whichwouldseemtoyoumereravingsuperstitionandsilliness。Buttheydonotseemtomeonetwentiethpartsosilly，fromapurelyrationalistpointofview，ascalmlymakingaspothideousinordertokeepitbeautiful。”
Thethingthatisreallyvulgar，thethingthatisreallyvile，istoliveinagoodplaceWithoutlivingbyitslife。Anyonewhosettlesdowninaplacewithoutbecomingpartofitisbarringpeculiarpersonalcases，ofcourseatripperorwanderingcad。Forinstance，theJewisagenuinepeculiarcase。TheWanderingJewisnotawanderingcad。Heisahighlycivilisedmaninahighlydifficultposition；theworldbeingdivided，andhisownnationbeingdivided，aboutwhetherhecandoanythingelseexceptwander。
Thebestexampleofthecultured，butcommon，tripperistheeducatedEnglishmanontheContinent。WecannolongerexplainthequarrelbycallingEnglishmenrudeandforeignerspolite。HundredsofEnglishmenareextremelypolite，andthousandsofforeignersareextremelyrude。ThetruthofthematteristhatforeignersdonotresenttherudeEnglishman。
Whattheydoresent，whattheydomostjustlyresent，isthepoliteEnglishman。HevisitsItalyforBotticellisorFlandersforRembrandts，andhetreatsthegreatnationsthatmadethesethingscourteously——ashewouldtreatthecustodiansofanymuseum。ItdoesnotseemtostrikehimthattheItalianisnotthecustodianofthepictures，butthecreatorofthem。Hecanaffordtolookdownonsuchnations——whenhecanpaintsuchpictures。
Thatis，inmattersofartandtravel，thepsychologyofthecad。If，livinginItaly，youadmireItalianartwhiledistrustingItaliancharacter，youareatourist，orcad。If，livinginItaly，youadmireItalianartwhiledespisingItalianreligion，youareatourist，orcad。
Itdoesnotmatterhowmanyyearsyouhavelivedthere。Touristswilloftenlivealongtimeinhotelswithoutdiscoveringthenationalityofthewaiters。EnglishmenwilloftenlivealongtimeinItalywithoutdiscoveringthenationalityoftheItalians。Butthetestissimple。IfyouadmirewhatItaliansdidwithoutadmiringItalians——youareacheaptripper。
Thesame，ofcourse，appliesmuchnearerhome。IhaveremarkedelsewherethatcountryshopkeepersarejustlyoffendedbyLondonpeople，who，comingamongthem，continuetoorderalltheirgoodsfromLondon。Itiscaddishtowinkandsquintatthecolourofaman\'swine，likeawinetaster；andthenrefusetodrinkit。Itisequallycaddishtowinkandsquintatthecolourofaman\'sorchard，likealandscapepainter；
andthenrefusetobuytheapples。Itisalwaysaninsulttoadmireathingandnotuseit。ButthemainpointisthatonehasnorighttoseeStonehengewithoutSalisburyPlainandSalisbury:OnehasnorighttorespectthedeadItalianswithoutrespectingtheliveones。OnehasnorighttovisitaChristiansocietylikeadivervisitingthedeep-seafishes——fedalongalengthytubebyanotheratmosphere，andseeingthesightswithoutbreathingtheair。Itisveryrealbadmanners。
THENEWTHEOLOGIAN
Itisanoldstorythatnamesdonotfitthings；itisanoldstorythattheoldestforestiscalledtheNewForest，andthatIrishstewisalmostpeculiartoEngland。Butthesearetraditionaltitlesthattend，oftheirnature，tostiffen；itisthetragedyofto-daythatevenphrasesinventedforto-daydonotfitit。Theforesthasremainednewwhileitisnearlyathousandyearsold；butourfashionshavegrownoldwhiletheywerestillnew。
Theextremeexampleofthisisthatwhenmodernwrongsareattacked，theyarealmostalwaysattackedwrongly。Peopleseemtohaveapositiveinspirationforfindingtheinappropriatephrasetoapplytoanoffender；
theyarealwaysaccusingamanoftheftwhenhehasbeenconvictedofmurder。TheymustaccuseSirEdwardCarsonofoutrageousrebellion，whenhisoffencehasreallybeenasleeksubmissiontothepowersthatbe。
TheymustdescribeMr。LloydGeorgeasusinghiseloquencetorousethemob，whereashehasreallyshownconsiderableclevernessindampingitdown。ItwasprobablyunderthesameimpulsetowardsamysteriousmisfitofnamesthatpeopledenouncedDr。Ingeas\"theGloomyDean。”
NowthereisnothingwhateverwrongaboutbeingaDean；noristhereanythingwrongaboutbeinggloomy。Theonlyquestioniswhatdarkbutsinceremotiveshavemadeyougloomy。WhatdarkbutsinceremotiveshavemadeyouaDean。NowtheaddressofDr。Ingewhichgainedhimthiserroneoustitlewasmostlyconcernedwithadefenceofthemoderncapitalistsagainstthemodernstrikers，fromwhoseprotestheappearedtoanticipateappallingresults。Nowifwelookatthefactsaboutthatgentleman\'sdepressionandalsoabouthisDeanery，weshallfindaverycuriousstateofthings。
WhenDr。Ingewascalled\"theGloomyDean\"agreatinjusticewasdonehim。Hehadappearedasthechampionofourcapitalistcommunityagainsttheforcesofrevolt；andanyonewhodoesthatexceedsinoptimismratherthanpessimism。Amanwhoreallythinksthatstrikershavesufferednowrong，orthatemployershavedonenowrong——suchamanisnotaGloomyDean，butaquitewildlyanddangerouslyhappyDean。Amanwhocanfeelsatisfiedwithmodernindustrialismmustbeamanwithamysteriousfountainofhighspirits。Andtheactualoccasionisnotlesscurious；because，asfarasIcanmakeout，histitletogloomreposesonhishavingsaidthatourworker\'sdemandhighwages，whiletheplacidpeopleoftheFarEastwillquitecheerfullyworkforless。
Thisistrueenough，ofcourse，andtheredoesnotseemtobemuchdifficultyaboutthematter。MenoftheFarEastwillsubmittoverylowwagesforthesamereasonthattheywillsubmitto\"thepunishmentknownasLi，orSlicing\"；forthesamereasonthattheywillpraisepolygamyandsuicide；forthesamereasonthattheysubjectthewifeutterlytothehusbandorhisparents；forthesamereasonthattheyservetheirtempleswithprostitutesforpriests；forthesamereasonthattheysometimesseemtomakenodistinctionbetweensexualpassionandsexualperversion。Theydoit，thatis，becausetheyareHeathens；menwithtraditionsdifferentfromoursaboutthelimitsofenduranceandthegesturesofself-respect。Theymaybeverymuchbetterthanweareinhundredsofotherways；andIcanquiteunderstandamanthoughhardlyaDeanreallypreferringtheirhistoricvirtuestothoseofChristendom。
AmanmayperhapsfeelmorecomfortableamonghisAsiaticcooliesthanamonghisEuropeancomrades:andaswearetoallowtheBroadestThoughtintheChurch，Dr。Ingehasasmuchrighttohisheresyasanybodyelse。
Itistruethat，asDr。Ingesays，therearenumberlessOrientalswhowilldoagreatdealofworkforverylittlemoney；anditismostundoubtedlytruethatthereareseveralhigh-placedandprosperousEuropeanswholiketogetworkdoneandpayaslittleaspossibleforit。
ButIcannotmakeoutwhy，withhisenthusiasmforheathenhabitsandtraditions，theDeanshouldwishtospreadintheEasttheideaswhichhehasfoundsodreadfullyunsettlingintheWest。IfsomethousandsofyearsofpaganismhaveproducedthepatienceandindustrythatDeanIngeadmires，andifsomethousandyearsofChristianityhaveproducedthesentimentalityandsensationalismwhichheregrets，theobviousdeductionisthatDeanIngewouldbemuchhappierifhewereaheathenChinese。
InsteadofsupportingChristianmissionstoKoreaorJapan，heoughttobeattheheadofagreatmissioninLondonforconvertingtheEnglishtoTaoismorBuddhism。Therehispassionforthemoralbeautiesofpaganismwouldhavefreeandnaturalplay；hisstylewouldimprove；hismindwouldbeginslowlytoclear；andhewouldbefreefromallsortsoflittleirritatingscrupulositieswhichmusthampereventhemostConservativeChristianinhisfullpraiseofsweatingandthesack。
InChristendomhewillneverfindrest。Theperpetualpubliccriticismandpublicchangewhichisthenoteofallourhistoryspringsfromacertainspiritfartoodeeptobedefined。Itisdeeperthandemocracy；
nay，itmayoftenappeartobenon-democratic；foritmayoftenbethespecialdefenceofaminorityoranindividual。Itwilloftenleavetheninety-and-nineinthewildernessandgoafterthatwhichislost。ItwilloftenrisktheStateitselftorightasinglewrong；anddojusticethoughtheheavensfall。ItshighestexpressionisnotevenintheformulaofthegreatgentlemenoftheFrenchRevolutionwhosaidthatallmenwerefreeandequal。Itshighestexpressionisratherintheformulaofthepeasantwhosaidthataman\'samanfora\'that。IftherewerebutoneslaveinEngland，andhedidalltheworkwhiletherestofusmademerry，thisspiritthatisinuswouldstillcryaloudtoGodnightandday。Whetherornothisspiritwasproducedby，itclearlyworkswith，acreedwhichpostulatesahumanisedGodandavividlypersonalimmortality。Menmustnotbebusymerelylikeaswarm，orevenhappymerelylikeaherd；foritisnotaquestionofmen，butofaman。A
man\'smealsmaybepoor，buttheymustnotbebestial；theremustalwaysbethataboutthemealwhichpermitsofitscomparisontothesacrament。
Aman\'sbedmaybehard，butitmustnotbeabjectorunclean:theremustalwaysbeaboutthebedsomethingofthedecencyofthedeath-bed。
ThisisthespiritwhichmakestheChristianpoorbegintheirterriblemurmurwheneverthereisaturnofpricesoradeadlockoftoilthatthreatensthemwithvagabondageorpauperisation；andwecannotencouragetheDeanwithanyhopethatthisspiritcanbecastout。ChristendomwillcontinuetosufferallthedisadvantagesofbeingChristian:itistheDeanwhomustbegentlybutfirmlyaltered。Hehadabsent-mindedlystrayedintothewrongcontinentandthewrongcreed。Iadvisehimtochuckit。
Butthecaseismorecuriousstill。ToconnecttheDeanwithConfuciantemplesortraditionsmayhaveappearedfantastic；butitisnot。Dr。
IngeisnotastupidoldToryRector，strictbothonChurchandState。
SuchamanmighttalknonsenseabouttheChristianSocialistsbeing\"courtchaplainsofKingDemos\"orabouthisownsuperbvalourindefyingthedemocracythatragesinthefrontpewsofAnglicanchurches。Weshouldnotexpectamereold-fashionedcountryclergymantoknowthatDemoshasneverbeenkinginEnglandandpreciousseldomanywhereelse；
weshouldnotexpecthimtorealisethatifKingDemoshadanychaplainstheywouldbeuncommonlypoorlypaid。ButDr。Ingeisnotold-fashioned；
heconsidershimselfhighlyprogressiveandadvanced。HeisaNewTheologian；thatis，heisliberalintheology——andnothingelse。Heisapparentlyinsoberfact，andnotasinanyfantasy，insympathywiththosewhowouldsoftenthesuperiorclaimofourcreedbyurgingtherivalcreedsoftheEast；withthosewhowouldabsorbthevirtuesofBuddhismorofIslam。HeholdsahighseatinthatmodernParliamentofReligionswhereallbelieversrespecteachother\'sunbelief。
Nowthishasaverysharpmoralformodernreligiousreformers。Whennextyouhearthe\"liberal\"ChristiansaythatweshouldtakewhatisbestinOrientalfaiths，makequitesurewhatarethethingsthatpeoplelikeDr。Ingecallbest；whatarethethingsthatpeoplelikeDr。Ingeproposetotake。YouwillnotfindthemimitatingthemilitaryvalouroftheMoslem。YouwillnotfindthemimitatingthemiraculousecstasyoftheHindoo。Themoreyoustudythe\"broad\"movementoftoday，themoreyouwillfindthatthesepeoplewantsomethingmuchlesslikeChinesemetaphysics，andsomethingmuchmorelikeChineseLabour。Youwillfindthelevellingofcreedsquiteunexpectedlyclosetotheloweringofwages。
Dr。Ingeisthetypicallatitudinarianofto-day；andwasnevermoresothanwhenheappearednotastheapostleoftheblacks，butastheapostleoftheblacklegs。Preached，asitis，almostentirelyamongtheprosperousandpolite，ourbrotherhoodwithBuddhismorMohammedanismpracticallymeansthis——thatthepoormustbeasmeekasBuddhists，whiletherichmaybeasruthlessasMohammedans。Thatiswhattheycallthereunionofallreligions。
THEROMANTICINTHERAIN
ThemiddleclassesofmodernEnglandarequitefanaticallyfondofwashing；andareoftenenthusiasticforteetotalism。Icannotthereforecomprehendwhyitisthattheyexhibitamysteriousdislikeofrain。
Rain，thatinspiringanddelightfulthing，surelycombinesthequalitiesofthesetwoidealswithquiteacuriousperfection。Ourphilanthropistsareeagertoestablishpublicbathseverywhere。Rainsurelyisapublicbath；itmightalmostbecalledmixedbathing。Theappearanceofpersonscomingfreshfromthisgreatnaturallustrationisnotperhapspolishedordignified；butforthematterofthat，fewpeoplearedignifiedwhencomingoutofabath。Buttheschemeofraininitselfisoneofanenormouspurification。Itrealisesthedreamofsomeinsanehygienist:
itscrubsthesky。ItsgiantbroomsandmopsseemtoreachthestarryraftersandStarlesscornersofthecosmos；itisacosmicspring-
cleaning。
IftheEnglishmanisreallyfondofcoldbaths，heoughtnottogrumbleattheEnglishclimateforbeingacoldbath。Inthesedaysweareconstantlytoldthatweshouldleaveourlittlespecialpossessionsandjoinintheenjoymentofcommonsocialinstitutionsandacommonsocialmachinery。IoffertherainasathoroughlySocialisticinstitution。Itdisregardsthatdegradeddelicacywhichhashithertoledeachgentlemantotakehisshower-bathinprivate。Itisabettershower-bath，becauseitispublicandcommunal；and，bestofall，becausesomebodyelsepullsthestring。
Asforthefascinationofrainforthewaterdrinker，itisafacttheneglectofwhichIsimplycannotcomprehend。Theenthusiasticwaterdrinkermustregardarainstormasasortofuniversalbanquetanddebauchofhisownfavouritebeverage。Thinkoftheimaginativeintoxicationofthewinedrinkerifthecrimsoncloudssentdownclaretorthegoldencloudshock。Paintuponprimitivedarknesssomesuchscenesofapocalypse，toweringandgorgeousskyscapesinwhichchampagnefallslikefirefromheavenorthedarkskiesgrowpurpleandtawnywiththeterriblecoloursofport。Allthismustthewildabstainerfeel，asherollsinthelongsoakinggrass，kickshisecstaticheelstoheaven，andlistenstotheroaringrain。Itishe，thewaterdrinker，whooughttobethetruebacchanaloftheforests；foralltheforestsaredrinkingwater。Moreover，theforestsareapparentlyenjoyingit:thetreesraveandreeltoandfrolikedrunkengiants；theyclashboughsasrevellersclashcups；theyroarundyingthirstandhowlthehealthoftheworld。
AllaroundmeasIwriteisanoiseofNaturedrinking:andNaturemakesanoisewhensheisdrinking，beingbynomeansrefined。IfIcountitChristianmercytogiveacupofcoldwatertoasufferer，shallI
complainofthesemultitudinouscupsofcoldwaterhandedroundtoalllivingthings；acupofwaterforeveryshrub；acupofwaterforeveryweed？Iwouldbeashamedtogrumbleatit。AsSirPhilipSidneysaid，theirneedisgreaterthanmine——especiallyforwater。
ThereisawildgarmentthatstillcarriesnoblythenameofawildHighlandclan:aelancomefromthosehillswhererainisnotsomuchanincidentasanatmosphere。SurelyeverymanofimaginationmustfeelatempestuousflameofCelticromancespringupwithinhimwheneverheputsonamackintosh。Icouldneverreconcilemyselftocarryingallumbrella；
itisapompousEasternbusiness，carriedovertheheadsofdespotsinthedry，hotlands。Shutup，anumbrellaisanunmanageablewalking-
stick；open，itisaninadequatetent。Formypart，Ihavenotasteforpretendingtobeawalkingpavilion；Ithinknothingofmyhat，andpreciouslittleofmyhead。IfIamtobeprotectedagainstwet，itmustbebysomecloserandmorecarelessprotection，somethingthatIcanforgetaltogether。ItmightbeaHighlandplaid。ItmightbethatyetmoreHighlandthing，amackintosh。
AndthereisreallysomethinginthemackintoshofthemilitaryqualitiesoftheHighlander。Thepropercheapmackintoshhasablueandwhitesheenasofsteeloriron；itgleamslikearmour。Iliketothinkofitastheuniformofthatancientclaninsomeofitsoldandmistyraids。