\"Allthiswithaneasygood-humorfittogiveavirtuouscitizenthecolic。
\"\'Youarewrong,MonsieurleComte,\'retortedCerizet,inaslightlyperemptorytone。\'Wewillbepaidinfull,andthatinawaywhichyoumaynotlike。ThatiswhyIcametoyoufirstinafriendlyspirit,asisrightandfitbetweengentlemen——\'
\"\'Oh!sothatishowyouunderstandit?\'beganMaxime,enragedbythislastpieceofpresumption。TherewassomethingofTalleyrand\'switintheinsolentretort,ifyouhavequitegraspedthecontrastbetweenthetwomenandtheircostumes。Maximescowledandlookedfullattheintruder;Cerizetnotmerelyenduredtheglareofcoldfury,butevenreturnedit,withanicy,cat-likemalignanceandfixityofgaze。
\"\'Verygood,sir,goout——\'
\"\'Verywell,good-day,MonsieurleComte。Weshallbequitsbeforesixmonthsareout。\'
\"\'Ifyoucanstealtheamountofyourbill,whichislegallydueI
own,Ishallbeindebtedtoyou,sir,\'repliedMaxime。\'Youwillhavetaughtmeanewprecautiontotake。Iamverymuchyourservant。\'
\"\'MonsieurleComte,\'saidCerizet,\'itisI,onthecontrary,whoamyours。\'
\"Herewasanexplicit,forcible,confidentdeclarationoneitherside。
Acoupleoftigersconfabulating,withthepreybeforethem,andafightimpending,wouldhavebeennofinerandnoshrewderthanthispair;theinsolentfinegentlemanasgreatablackguardastheotherinhissoiledandmud-stainedclothes。
\"Whichwillyoulayyourmoneyon?\"askedDesroches,lookingroundatanaudience,surprisedtofindhowdeeplyitwasinterested。
\"Aprettystory!\"criedMalaga。\"Mydearboy,goon,Ibegofyou。
Thisgoestoone\'sheart。”
\"Nothingcommonplacecouldhappenbetweentwofighting-cocksofthatcalibre,\"addedLaPalferine。
\"Pooh!\"criedMalaga。\"Iwillwagermycabinet-maker\'sinvoicethefellowisdunningmethatthelittletoadwastoomanyforMaxime。”
\"IbetonMaxime,\"saidCardot。\"Nobodyevercaughthimnapping。”
DesrochesdrankoffaglassthatMalagahandedtohim。
\"Mlle。Chocardelle\'sreading-room,\"hecontinued,afterapause,\"wasintheRueCoquenard,justasteportwofromtheRuePigallewhereMaximewasliving。ThesaidMlle。Chocardellelivedatthebackonthegardensideofthehouse,beyondabigdarkplacewherethebookswerekept。Antonialeftheraunttolookafterthebusiness——\"
\"Hadsheanaunteventhen?\"exclaimedMalaga。\"Hangitall,Maximedidthingshandsomely。”
\"Alas!itwasarealaunt,\"saidDesroches;\"hernamewas——letmesee——\"
\"IdaBonamy,\"saidBixiou。
\"SoasAntonia\'saunttookagooddealoftheworkoffherhands,shewenttobedlateandlaylateofamorning,nevershowingherfaceatthedeskuntiltheafternoon,sometimebetweentwoandfour。Fromtheveryfirstherappearancewasenoughtodrawcustom。Severalelderlymeninthequarterusedtocome,amongthemaretiredcoach-builder,oneCroizeau。Beholdingthismiracleoffemalelovelinessthroughthewindow-panes,hetookitintohisheadtoreadthenewspapersinthebeauty\'sreading-room;andasometimecustom-houseofficer,namedDenisart,witharibboninhisbutton-hole,followedtheexample。
CroizeauchosetolookuponDenisartasarival。\'/Monsieur/,\'hesaidafterwards,\'
Ididnotknowwhattobuyforyou!\'
\"Thatspeechshouldgiveyouanideaoftheman。TheSieurCroizeauhappenstobelongtoaparticularclassofoldmanwhichshouldbeknownas\'Coquerels\'sinceHenriMonnier\'stime;sowelldidMonnierrenderthepipingvoice,thelittlemannerisms,littlequeue,littlesprinklingofpowder,littlemovementsofthehead,primlittlemanner,andtrippinggaitinthepartofCoquerelin/LaFamilleImprovisee/。ThisCroizeauusedtohandoverhishalfpencewithaflourishanda\'There,fairlady!\'
\"Mme。IdaBonamytheauntwasnotlonginfindingoutthroughaservantthatCroizeau,bypopularreportoftheneighborhoodoftheRuedeBuffault,wherehelived,wasamanofexceedingstinginess,possessedoffortythousandfrancsperannum。Aweekaftertheinstalmentofthecharminglibrarianhewasdeliveredofapun:
\"\'Youlendmebookslivres,butIgiveyouplentyoffrancsinreturn,\'saidhe。
\"Afewdayslaterheputonaknowinglittleair,asmuchastosay,\'Iknowyouareengaged,butmyturnwillcomeoneday;Iamawidower。\'
\"Healwayscamearrayedinfinelinen,acornflowerbluecoat,apaduasoywaistcoat,blacktrousers,andblackribbonbowsonthedoublesoledshoesthatcreakedlikeanabbe\'s;healwaysheldafourteenfrancsilkhatinhishand。
\"\'IamoldandIhavenochildren,\'hetookoccasiontoconfidetotheyoungladysomefewdaysafterCerizet\'svisittoMaxime。\'Iholdmyrelationsinhorror。Theyarepeasantsborntoworkinthefields。
Justimagineit,Icameupfromthecountrywithsixfrancsinmypocket,andmademyfortunehere。Iamnotproud。Aprettywomanismyequal。NowwoulditnotbenicertobeMme。CroizeauforsomeyearstocomethantodoaCount\'spleasureforatwelvemonth?Hewillgooffandleaveyousometimeorother;andwhenthatdaycomes,youwillthinkofme……yourservant,myprettylady!\'
\"Allthiswassimmeringbelowthesurface。Theslightestapproachatlove-makingwasmadequiteonthesly。NotasoulsuspectedthatthetrimlittleoldfogywassmittenwithAntonia;andsoprudentwastheelderlylover,thatnorivalcouldhaveguessedanythingfromhisbehaviorinthereading-room。ForacoupleofmonthsCroizeauwatchedtheretiredcustom-houseofficial;butbeforethethirdmonthwasouthehadgoodreasontobelievethathissuspicionsweregroundless。HeexertedhisingenuitytoscrapeanacquaintancewithDenisart,cameupwithhiminthestreet,andatlengthseizedhisopportunitytoremark,\'Itisafineday,sir!\'
\"Whereupontheretiredofficialrespondedwith,\'Austerlitzweather,sir。Iwastheremyself——Iwaswoundedindeed,IwonmyCrossonthatgloriousday。\'
\"AndsofromonethingtoanotherthetwodriftedwrecksoftheEmpirestruckupanacquaintance。LittleCroizeauwasattachedtotheEmpirethroughhisconnectionwithNapoleon\'ssisters。Hehadbeentheircoach-builder,andhadfrequentlydunnedthemformoney;sohegaveoutthathe\'hadhadrelationswiththeImperialfamily。\'Maxime,dulyinformedbyAntoniaofthe\'niceoldman\'s\'proposalsforsotheauntcalledCroizeau,wishedtoseehim。Cerizet\'sdeclarationofwarhadsofartakeneffectthatheoftheyellowkidgloveswasstudyingthepositionofeverypiece,howeverinsignificant,upontheboard;anditsohappenedthatatthementionofthat\'niceoldman,\'anominoustinklingsoundedinhisears。Oneevening,therefore,Maximeseatedhimselfamongthebook-shelvesinthedimlylightedbackroom,reconnoitredthesevenoreightcustomersthroughthechinkbetweenthegreencurtains,andtookthelittlecoach-builder\'smeasure。Hegaugedtheman\'sinfatuation,andwasverywellsatisfiedtofindthatthevarnisheddoorsofatolerablysumptuousfuturewerereadytoturnatawordfromAntoniasosoonashisownfancyhadpassedoff。
\"\'Andthatotheroneyonder?\'askedhe,pointingoutthestoutfine-
lookingelderlymanwiththeCrossoftheLegionofHonor。\'Whoishe?\'
\"\'Aretiredcustom-houseofficer。\'
\"\'Thecutofhiscountenanceisnotreassuring,\'saidMaxime,beholdingtheSieurDenisart。
\"Andindeedtheoldsoldierheldhimselfuprightasasteeple。Hisheadwasremarkablefortheamountofpowderandpomatumbestoweduponit;helookedalmostlikeapostilionatafancyball。Underneaththatfeltedcovering,mouldedtothetopofthewearer\'scranium,appearedanelderlyprofile,half-official,half-soldierly,withacomicaladmixtureofarrogance,——altogethersomethinglikecaricaturesofthe/Constitutionnel/。Thesometimeofficialfindingthatage,andhair-
powder,andtheconformationofhisspinemadeitimpossibletoreadawordwithoutspectacles,satdisplayingaverycreditableexpanseofchestwithalltheprideofanoldmanwithamistress。LikeoldGeneralMontcornet,thatpillaroftheVaudeville,heworeearrings。
Denisartwaspartialtoblue;hisroomytrousersandwell-worngreatcoatwerebothofbluecloth。
\"\'Howlongisitsincethatoldfogycamehere?\'inquiredMaxime,thinkingthathesawdangerinthespectacles。
\"\'Oh,fromthebeginning,\'returnedAntonia,\'prettynearlytwomonthsagonow。\'
\"\'Good,\"saidMaximetohimself,\'Cerizetonlycametomeamonthago——Justgethimtotalk,\'headdedinAntonia\'sear;\'Iwanttohearhisvoice。\'
\"\'Pshaw,\'saidshe,\'thatisnotsoeasy。Heneversaysawordtome。\'
\"\'Thenwhydoeshecomehere?\'demandedMaxime。
\"\'Foraqueerreason,\'returnedthefairAntonia。\'Inthefirstplace,althoughheissixty-nine,hehasafancy;andbecauseheissixty-nine,heisasmethodicalasaclockface。Everydayatfiveo\'clocktheoldgentlemangoestodinewith/her/intheRuedelaVictoire。Iamsorryforher。Thenatsixo\'clock,hecomeshere,readssteadilyatthepapersforfourhours,andgoesbackatteno\'clock。DaddyCroizeausaysthatheknowsM。Denisart\'smotives,andapproveshisconduct;andinhisplace,hewoulddothesame。SoI
knowexactlywhattoexpect。IfeverIamMme。Croizeau,Ishallhavefourhourstomyselfbetweensixandteno\'clock。\'
\"Maximelookedthroughthedirectory,andfoundthefollowingreassuringitem:
\"DENISART,*retiredcustom-houseofficer,RuedelaVictoire。
\"Hisuneasinessvanished。
\"GraduallytheSieurDenisartandtheSieurCroizeaubegantoexchangeconfidences。Nothingsobindstwomentogetherasasimilarityofviewsinthematterofwomankind。DaddyCroizeauwenttodinewith\'M。
Denisart\'sfairlady,\'ashecalledher。AndhereImustmakeasomewhatimportantobservation。
\"Thereading-roomhadbeenpaidforhalfincash,halfinbillssignedbythesaidMlle。Chocardelle。The/quartd\'heuredeRabelais/
arrived;theCounthadnomoney。Sothefirstbillofthreethousandfrancswasmetbytheamiablecoach-builder;thatoldscoundrelDenisarthavingrecommendedhimtosecurehimselfwithamortgageonthereading-room。
\"\'Formyownpart,\'saidDenisart,\'Ihaveseenprettydoingsfromprettywomen。Soinallcases,evenwhenIhavelostmyhead,Iamalwaysonmyguardwithawoman。Thereisthiscreature,forinstance;
Iammadlyinlovewithher;butthisisnotherfurniture;no,itbelongstome。Theleaseistakenoutinmyname。\'
\"YouknowMaxime!Hethoughtthecoach-builderuncommonlygreen。
Croizeaumightpayallthreebills,andgetnothingforalongwhile;
forMaximefeltmoreinfatuatedwithAntoniathanever。”
\"Icanwellbelieveit,\"saidLaPalferine。\"Sheisthe/bellaImperia/ofourday。”
\"Withherroughskin!\"exclaimedMalaga;\"sorough,thatsheruinsherselfinbranbaths!\"
\"Croizeauspokewithacoach-builder\'sadmirationofthesumptuousfurnitureprovidedbytheamorousDenisartasasettingforhisfairone,describingitallindetailwithdiabolicalcomplacencyforAntonia\'sbenefit,\"continuedDesroches。\"Theebonychestsinlaidwithmother-of-pearlandgoldwire,theBrusselscarpets,amediaevalbedsteadworththreethousandfrancs,aBouleclock,candelabrainthefourcornersofthedining-room,silkcurtains,onwhichChinesepatiencehadwroughtpicturesofbirds,andhangingsoverthedoors,worthmorethantheportressthatopenedthem。
\"\'Andthatiswhat/you/oughttohave,myprettylady——AndthatiswhatIshouldliketoofferyou,\'hewouldconclude。\'Iamquiteawarethatyouscarcelycareabitaboutme;but,atmyage,wecannotexpecttoomuch。JudgehowmuchIloveyou;Ihavelentyouathousandfrancs。Imustconfessthat,inallmyborndays,Ihavenotlentanybody/that/much——\'
\"Heheldouthispennyashespoke,withtheimportantairofamanthatgivesalearneddemonstration。
\"ThateveningattheVarietes,AntoniaspoketotheCount。
\"\'Areading-roomisverydull,allthesame,\'saidshe;\'IfeelthatIhavenosortoftasteforthatkindoflife,andIseenofutureinit。Itisonlyfitforawidowthatwishestokeepbodyandsoultogether,orforsomehideouslyuglythingthatfanciesshecancatchahusbandwithalittlefinery。\'
\"\'Itwasyourownchoice,\'returnedtheCount。Justatthatmoment,incameNucingen,ofwhomMaxime,kingoflionsthe\'yellowkidgloves\'werethelionsofthatdayhadwonthreethousandfrancstheeveningbefore。Nucingenhadcometopayhisgamingdebt。
\"\'EinwritofattachmenthafshoostpeenservedonmebyderorderofdotteufelGlabaron,\'hesaid,seeingMaxime\'sastonishment。
\"\'Oh,sothatishowtheyaregoingtowork,isit?\'criedMaxime。
\'Theyarenotuptomuch,thatpair——\'
\"\'Itmakesnot,\'saidthebanker,\'baydem,fordeymayapplydemselfstooderspesides,unddoyouharm。IdakedeesbrettyvomantovitnessdotIhafbaidyoudeesmorning,longpeforedatwritvasserfed。\'\"
\"Queenoftheboards,\"smiledLaPalferine,lookingatMalaga,\"thouartabouttolosethybet。”
\"Once,alongtimeago,inasimilarcase,\"resumedDesroches,\"atoohonestdebtortookfrightattheideaofasolemndeclarationinacourtoflaw,anddeclinedtopayMaximeafternoticewasgiven。Thattimewemadeithotforthecreditorbypilingonwritsofattachment,soastoabsorbthewholeamountincosts——\"
\"Oh,whatisthat?\"criedMalaga;\"itallsoundslikegibberishtome。
Asyouthoughtthesturgeonsoexcellentatdinner,letmetakeoutthevalueofthesauceinlessonsinchicanery。”
\"Verywell,\"saidDesroches。\"Supposethatamanowesyoumoney,andyourcreditorsserveawritofattachmentuponhim;thereisnothingtopreventallyourothercreditorsfromdoingthesamething。Andnowwhatdoesthecourtdowhenallthecreditorsmakeapplicationfororderstopay?/Thecourtdividesthewholesumattached,proportionatelyamongthemall。/Thatdivision,madeundertheeyeofamagistrate,iswhatwecalla/contribution/。Ifyouowetenthousandfrancs,andyourcreditorsissuewritsofattachmentonadebtduetoyouofathousandfrancs,eachoneofthemgetssomuchpercent,\'somuchinthepound,\'inlegalphrase;somuchthatmeansinproportiontotheamountsseverallyclaimedbythecreditors。But——thecreditorscannottouchthemoneywithoutaspecialorderfromtheclerkofthecourt。Doyouguesswhatallthisworkdrawnupbyajudgeandpreparedbyattorneysmustmean?Itmeansaquantityofstampedpaperfullofdiffuselinesandblanks,thefiguresalmostlostinvastspacesofcompletelyemptyruledcolumns。
Thefirstproceedingistodeductthecosts。Now,asthecostsarepreciselythesamewhethertheamountattachedisonethousandoronemillionfrancs,itisnotdifficulttoeatupthreethousandfrancsforinstanceincosts,especiallyifyoucanmanagetoraisecounterapplications。”
\"Andanattorneyalwaysmanagestodoit,\"saidCardot。\"Howmanyatimeoneofyouhascometomewith,\'Whatistheretobegotoutofthecase?\'\"
\"Itisparticularlyeasytomanageitifthedebtoreggsyouontorunupcoststilltheyeatuptheamount。And,asarule,theCount\'screditorstooknothingbythatmove,andwereoutofpocketinlawandpersonalexpenses。TogetmoneyoutofsoexperiencedadebtorastheCount,acreditorshouldreallybeinapositionuncommonlydifficulttoreach;itisaquestionofbeingcreditoranddebtorboth,forthenyouarelegallyentitledtoworktheconfusionofrights,inlawlanguage——\"
\"Totheconfusionofthedebtor?\"askedMalaga,lendinganattentiveeartothisdiscourse。
\"No,theconfusionofrightsofdebtorandcreditor,andpayyourselfthroughyourownhands。SoClaparon\'sinnocenceinmerelyissuingwritsofattachmenteasedtheCount\'smind。AshecamebackfromtheVarieteswithAntonia,hewassomuchthemoretakenwiththeideaofsellingthereading-roomtopayoffthelasttwothousandfrancsofthepurchase-money,becausehedidnotcaretohavehisnamemadepublicasapartnerinsuchaconcern。SoheadoptedAntonia\'splan。
Antoniawishedtoreachthehigherranksofhercalling,withsplendidrooms,amaid,andacarriage;inshort,shewantedtorivalourcharminghostess,forinstance——\"
\"Shewasnotwomanenoughforthat,\"criedthefamousbeautyoftheCircus;\"still,sheruinedyoungd\'Esgrignonveryneatly。”
\"Tendaysafterwards,littleCroizeau,perchedonhisdignity,saidalmostexactlythesamething,forthefairAntonia\'sbenefit,\"
continuedDesroches。
\"\'Child,\'saidhe,\'yourreading-roomisaholeofaplace。Youwillloseyourcomplexion;thegaswillruinyoureyesight。Yououghttocomeoutofit;and,lookhere,letustakeadvantageofanopportunity。Ihavefoundayoungladyforyouthatasksnobetterthantobuyyourreading-room。Sheisaruinedwomanwithnothingbeforeherbutaplungeintotheriver;butshehadfourthousandfrancsincash,andthebestthingtodoistoturnthemtoaccount,soastofeedandeducateacoupleofchildren。\'
\"\'Verywell。Itiskindofyou,DaddyCroizeau,\'saidAntonia。
\"\'Oh,IshallbemuchkinderbeforeIhavedone。Justimagineit,poorM。Denisarthasbeenworriedintothejaundice!Yes,ithasgonetotheliver,asitusuallydoeswithsusceptibleoldmen。Itisapityhefeelsthingsso。Itoldhimsomyself;Isaid,\"Bepassionate,thereisnoharminthat,butasfortakingthingstoheart——drawthelineatthat!Itisthewaytokillyourself。”——Really,Iwouldnothaveexpectedhimtotakeonsoaboutit;amanthathassenseenoughandexperienceenoughtokeepawayashedoeswhilehedigestshisdinner——\'
\"\'Butwhatisthematter?\'inquiredMlle。Chocardelle。
\"\'ThatlittlebaggagewithwhomIdinedhasclearedoutandlefthim!……Yes。Gavehimtheslipwithoutanywarningbutaletter,inwhichthespellingwasalltoseek。\'
\"\'There,DaddyCroizeau,youseewhatcomesofboringawoman——\'
\"\'Itisindeedalesson,myprettylady,\'saidtheguilefulCroizeau。
\'Meanwhile,Ihaveneverseenamaninsuchastate。OurfriendDenisartcannottellhislefthandfromhisright;hewillnotgobacktolookatthe\"sceneofhishappiness,\"ashecallsit。Hehassothoroughlylosthiswits,thatheproposesthatIshouldbuyallHortense\'sfurnitureHortensewashernameforfourthousandfrancs。\'
\"\'Aprettyname,\'saidAntonia。
\"Yes。Napoleon\'sstepdaughterwascalledHortense。Ibuiltcarriagesforher,asyouknow。\'
\"\'Verywell,Iwillsee,\'saidcunningAntonia;\'beginbysendingthisyoungwomantome。\'
\"Antoniahurriedofftoseethefurniture,andcamebackfascinated。
ShebroughtMaximeunderthespellofantiquarianenthusiasm。ThatveryeveningtheCountagreedtothesaleofthereading-room。Theestablishment,yousee,nominallybelongedtoMlle。Chocardelle。
MaximeburstoutlaughingattheideaoflittleCroizeau\'sfindinghimabuyer。ThefirmofMaximeandChocardellewaslosingtwothousandfrancs,itistrue,butwhatwasthelosscomparedwithfourgloriousthousand-francnotesinhand?\'Fourthousandfrancsoflivecoin!——
therearemomentsinone\'slifewhenonewouldsignbillsforeightthousandtogetthem,\'astheCountsaidtome。
\"TwodayslatertheCountmustseethefurniturehimself,andtookthefourthousandfrancsuponhim。Thesalehadbeenarranged;thankstolittleCroizeau\'sdiligence,hepushedmatterson;hehad\'comeround\'
thewidow,asheexpressedit。ItwasMaxime\'sintentiontohaveallthefurnitureremovedatoncetoalodginginanewhouseintheRueTronchet,takeninthenameofMme。IdaBonamy;hedidnottroublehimselfmuchabouttheniceoldmanthatwasabouttolosehisthousandfrancs。Buthehadsentbeforehandforseveralbigfurniturevans。
\"Onceagainhewasfascinatedbythebeautifulfurniturewhichawholesaledealerwouldhavevaluedatsixthousandfrancs。Bythefiresidesatthewretchedowner,yellowwithjaundice,hisheadtiedupinacoupleofprintedhandkerchiefs,andacottonnight-capontopofthem;hewashuddledupinwrappingslikeachandelier,exhausted,unabletospeak,andaltogethersoknockedtopiecesthattheCountwasobligedtotransacthisbusinesswiththeman-servant。Whenhehadpaiddownthefourthousandfrancs,andtheservanthadtakenthemoneytohismasterforareceipt,Maximeturnedtotellthemantocallupthevanstothedoor;butevenashespoke,avoicelikearattlesoundedinhisears。
\"\'Itisnotworthwhile,MonsieurleComte。YouandIarequits;I
havesixhundredandthirtyfrancsfifteencentimestogiveyou!\'
\"Tohisutterconsternation,hesawCerizet,emergedfromhiswrappingslikeabutterflyfromthechrysalis,holdingouttheaccursedbundleofdocuments。
\"\'WhenIwasdownonmyluck,Ilearnedtoactonthestage,\'addedCerizet。\'IamasgoodasBouffeatoldmen。\'
\"\'Ihavefallenamongthieves!\'shoutedMaxime。
\"\'No,MonsieurleComte,youareinMlle。Hortense\'shouse。SheisafriendofoldLordDudley\'s;hekeepsherhiddenawayhere;butshehasthebadtastetolikeyourhumbleservant。\'
\"\'IfeverIlongedtokillaman,\'sotheCounttoldmeafterwards,\'itwasatthatmoment;butwhatcouldonedo?Hortenseshowedherprettyface,onehadtolaugh。Tokeepmydignity,Iflungherthesixhundredfrancs。\"There\'sforthegirl,\"saidI。\'\"
\"ThatisMaximeallover!\"criedLaPalferine。
\"MoreespeciallyasitwaslittleCroizeau\'smoney,\"addedCardottheprofound。
\"Maximescoredatriumph,\"continuedDesroches,\"forHortenseexclaimed,\'Oh,ifIhadonlyknownthatitwasyou!\'\"
\"Apretty\'confusion\'indeed!\"putinMalaga。\"Youhavelost,milord,\"
sheaddedturningtothenotary。
Andinthiswaythecabinetmaker,towhomMalagaowedahundredcrowns,waspaid。