ToMonsieurleBaronJamesdeRothschild,BankerandAustrianConsul-GeneralatParis。
AMANOFBUSINESS
Theword/lorette/isaeuphemisminventedtodescribethestatusofapersonage,orapersonageofastatus,ofwhichitisawkwardtospeak;theFrenchAcademie,initsmodesty,havingomittedtosupplyadefinitionoutofregardfortheageofitsfortymembers。Wheneveranewwordcomestosupplytheplaceofanunwieldycircumlocution,itsfortuneisassured;theword/lorette/haspassedintothelanguageofeveryclassofsociety,evenwheretheloretteherselfwillnevergainanentrance。Itwasonlyinventedin1840,andderivedbeyondadoubtfromtheagglomerationofsuchswallows\'nestsabouttheChurchofOurLadyofLoretto。Thisinformationisforetymoligistsonly。
Thosegentlemenwouldnotbesoofteninaquandaryifmediaevalwritershadonlytakensuchpainswithdetailsofcontemporarymannersaswetakeinthesedaysofanalysisanddescription。
Mlle。Turquet,orMalaga,forsheisbetterknownbyherpseudonymSee/LafausseMaitresse/。,wasoneoftheearliestparishionersofthatcharmingchurch。Atthetimetowhichthisstorybelongs,thatlightheartedandlivelydamselgladdenedtheexistenceofanotarywithawifesomewhattoobigoted,rigid,andfrigidfordomestichappiness。
Now,itsofelloutthatoneCarnivaleveningMaitreCardotwasentertainingguestsatMlle。Turquet\'shouse——Desrochestheattorney,Bixiouofthecaricatures,Lousteauthejournalist,Nathan,andothers;itisquiteunnecessarytogiveanyfurtherdescriptionofthesepersonages,allbearersofillustriousnamesinthe/ComedieHumaine/。YoungLaPalferine,inspiteofhistitleofCountandhisgreatdescent,which,alas!meansagreatdescentinfortunelikewise,hadhonoredthenotary\'slittleestablishmentwithhispresence。
Atdinner,insuchahouse,onedoesnotexpecttomeetthepatriarchalbeef,theskinnyfowlandsaladofdomesticandfamilylife,noristhereanyattemptatthehypocriticalconversationofdrawing-roomsfurnishedwithhighlyrespectablematrons。When,alas!
willrespectabilitybecharming?Whenwillthewomeningoodsocietyvouchsafetoshowratherlessoftheirshouldersandrathermorewitorgeniality?MargueriteTurquet,theAspasiaoftheCirque-Olympique,isoneofthosefrank,verylivingpersonalitiestowhomallisforgiven,suchunconscioussinnersarethey,suchintelligentpenitents;ofsuchasMalagaonemightask,likeCardot——awittymanenough,albeitanotary——tobewell\"deceived。”Andyetyoumustnotthinkthatanyenormitieswerecommitted。DesrochesandCardotweregoodfellowsgrowntoograyintheprofessionnottofeelateasewithBixiou,Lousteau,Nathan,andyoungLaPalferine。Andtheyontheirsidehadtoooftenhadrecoursetotheirlegaladvisers,andknewthemtoowelltotryto\"drawthemout,\"inlorettelanguage。
Conversation,perfumedwithsevencigars,atfirstwasasfantasticasakidletloose,butfinallyitsettleddownuponthestrategyoftheconstantwarwagedinParisbetweencreditorsanddebtors。
Now,ifyouwillbesogoodastorecallthehistoryandantecedentsoftheguests,youwillknowthatinallParis,youcouldscarcelyfindagroupofmenwithmoreexperienceinthismatter;theprofessionalmenononehand,andtheartistsontheother,weresomethinginthepositionofmagistratesandcriminalshobnobbingtogether。AsetofBixiou\'sdrawingstoillustratelifeinthedebtors\'prison,ledtheconversationtotakethisparticularturn;
andfromdebtors\'prisonstheywenttodebts。
Itwasmidnight。Theyhadbrokenupintolittleknotsroundthetableandbeforethefire,andgavethemselvesuptotheburlesquefunwhichisonlypossibleorcomprehensibleinParisandinthatparticularregionwhichisboundedbytheFaubourgMontmartre,theRueChausseed\'Antin,theupperendoftheRuedeNavarinandthelineoftheboulevards。
Intenminutes\'timetheyhadcometoanendofallthedeepreflections,allthemoralizings,smallandgreat,allthebadpunsmadeonasubjectalreadyexhaustedbyRabelaisthreehundredandfiftyyearsago。ItwasnotalittletotheircreditthatthepyrotechnicdisplaywascutshortwithafinalsquibfromMalaga。
\"Itallgoestotheshoemakers,\"shesaid。\"Ileftamillinerbecauseshefailedtwicewithmyhats。Thevixenhasbeenheretwenty-seventimestoaskfortwentyfrancs。Shedidnotknowthatweneverhavetwentyfrancs。Onehasathousandfrancs,oronesendstoone\'snotaryforfivehundred;buttwentyfrancsIhaveneverhadinmylife。Mycookandmymaidmay,perhaps,havesomuchbetweenthem;butformyownpart,Ihavenothingbutcredit,andIshouldlosethatifItooktoborrowingsmallsums。IfIweretoaskfortwentyfrancs,Ishouldhavenothingtodistinguishmefrommycolleaguesthatwalktheboulevard。”
\"Isthemillinerpaid?\"askedLaPalferine。
\"Oh,comenow,areyouturningstupid?\"saidshe,withawink。\"Shecamethismorningforthetwenty-seventhtime,thatishowIcametomentionit。”
\"Whatdidyoudo?\"askedDesroches。
\"Itookpityuponher,and——orderedalittlehatthatIhavejustinvented,aquitenewshape。IfMlle。Amandasucceedswithit,shewillsaynomoreaboutthemoney,herfortuneismade。”
\"Inmyopinion,\"putinDesroches,\"thefinestthingsthatIhaveseeninaduelofthiskindgivethosewhoknowParisafarbetterpictureofthecitythanallthefancyportraitsthattheypaint。Someofyouthinkthatyouknowathingortwo,\"hecontinued,glancingroundatNathan,Bixiou,LaPalferine,andLousteau,\"butthekingofthegroundisacertainCount,nowbusyranginghimself。Inhistime,hewassupposedtobethecleverest,adroitest,canniest,boldest,stoutest,mostsubtleandexperiencedofallthepirates,who,equippedwithfinemanners,yellowkidgloves,andcabs,haveeversailedoreverwillsailuponthestormyseasofParis。HefearsneitherGodnorman。HeappliesinprivatelifetheprinciplesthatguidetheEnglishCabinet。Uptothetimeofhismarriage,hislifewasonecontinualwar,like——Lousteau\'s,forinstance。Iwas,andamstillhissolicitor。”
\"AndthefirstletterofhisnameisMaximedeTrailles,\"saidLaPalferine。
\"Forthatmatter,hehaspaideveryone,andinjurednoone,\"
continuedDesroches。\"ButasyourfriendBixiouwassayingjustnow,itisaviolationofthelibertyofthesubjecttobemadetopayinMarchwhenyouhavenomindtopaytillOctober。Byvirtueofthisarticleofhisparticularcode,Maximeregardedacreditor\'sschemeformakinghimpayatonceasaswindler\'strick。Itwasalongtimesincehehadgraspedthesignificanceofthebillofexchangeinallitsbearings,directandremote。Ayoungmanonce,inmyplace,calledabillofexchangethe\'asses\'bridge\'inhishearing。\'No,\'saidhe,\'itistheBridgeofSighs;itistheshortestwaytoanexecution。\'
Indeed,hisknowledgeofcommerciallawwassocomplete,thataprofessionalcouldnothavetaughthimanything。Atthattimehehadnothing,asyouknow。Hiscarriageandhorseswerejobbed;helivedinhisvalet\'shouse;and,bytheway,hewillbeaherotohisvalettotheendofthechapter,evenafterthemarriagethatheproposestomake。Hebelongedtothreeclubs,anddinedatoneofthemwheneverhedidnotdineout。Asarule,hewastobefoundveryseldomathisownaddress——\"
\"Heoncesaidtome,\"interruptedLaPalferine,\"\'MyoneaffectationisthepretencethatImakeoflivingintheRuePigalle。\'\"
\"Well,\"resumedDesroches,\"hewasoneofthecombatants;andnowfortheother。YouhaveheardmoreorlesstalkofoneClaparon?\"
\"Hadhairlikethis!\"criedBixiou,rufflinghislockstilltheystoodonend。GiftedwiththesametalentformimickingabsurditieswhichChopinthepianistpossessestosohighadegree,heproceededforthwithtorepresentthecharacterwithstartlingtruth。
\"Herollshisheadlikethiswhenhespeaks;hewasonceacommercialtraveler;hehasbeenallsortsofthings——\"
\"Well,hewasborntotravel,foratthisminute,asIspeak,heisontheseaonhiswaytoAmerica,\"saidDesroches。\"Itishisonlychance,forinallprobabilityhewillbecondemnedbydefaultasafraudulentbankruptnextsession。”
\"Verymuchatsea!\"exclaimedMalaga。
\"ForsixorsevenyearsthisClaparonactedasmanofstraw,cat\'spaw,andscapegoattotwofriendsofours,duTilletandNucingen;butin1829hispartwassowellknownthat——\"
\"Ourfriendsdroppedhim,\"putinBixiou。
\"Theylefthimtohisfateatlast,andhewallowedinthemire,\"
continuedDesroches。\"In1833hewentintopartnershipwithoneCerizet——\"
\"What!hethatpromotedajoint-stockcompanysonicelythattheSixthChambercutshorthiscareerwithacoupleofyearsinjail?\"askedthelorette。
\"Thesame。UndertheRestoration,between1823and1827,Cerizet\'soccupationconsistedinfirstputtinghisnameintrepidlytovariousparagraphs,onwhichthepublicprosecutorfastenedwithavidity,andsubsequentlymarchingofftoprison。Amancouldmakeanameforhimselfwithsmallexpenseinthosedays。TheLiberalpartycalledtheirprovincialchampion\'thecourageousCerizet,\'andtowards1828
somuchzealreceiveditsrewardin\'generalinterest。\'
\"\'Generalinterest\'isakindofciviccrownbestowedonthedeservingbythedailypress。Cerizettriedtodiscountthe\'generalinterest\'takeninhim。HecametoParis,and,withsomehelpfromcapitalistsintheOpposition,startedasabroker,andconductedfinancialoperationstosomeextent,thecapitalbeingfoundbyamaninhiding,askilfulgamblerwhooverreachedhimself,andinconsequence,inJuly1830,hiscapitalfounderedintheshipwreckoftheGovernment。”
\"Oh!itwashewhomweusedtocalltheSystem,\"criedBixiou。
\"Saynoharmofhim,poorfellow,\"protestedMalaga。\"D\'Estournywasagoodsort。”
\"Youcanimaginethepartthataruinedmanwassuretoplayin1830
whenhisnameinpoliticswas\'thecourageousCerizet。”Hewassentoffintoaverysnuglittlesub-prefecture。Unluckilyforhim,itisonethingtobeinopposition——anymissileisgoodenoughtothrow,solongastheflightlasts;butquiteanothertobeinoffice。Threemonthslater,hewasobligedtosendinhisresignation。Hadhenottakenitintohisheadtoattempttowinpopularity?Still,ashehaddonenothingasyettoimperilhistitleof\'courageousCerizet,\'theGovernmentproposedbywayofcompensationthatheshouldmanageanewspaper;nominallyanOppositionnewspaper,butMinisterialist/inpetto/。SothefallofthisnoblenaturewasreallyduetotheGovernment。
ToCerizet,asmanagerofthepaper,itwasrathertooevidentthathewasasabirdperchedonarottenbough;andthenitwasthathepromotedthatnicelittlejoint-stockcompany,andtherebysecuredacoupleofyearsinprison;hewascaught,whilemoreingeniousswindlerssucceededincatchingthepublic。”
\"Weareacquaintedwiththemoreingenious,\"saidBixiou;\"letussaynoillofthepoorfellow;hewasnabbed;Coutureallowedthemtosqueezehiscash-box;whowouldeverhavethoughtitofhim?\"
\"Atallevents,Cerizetwasalowsortoffellow,agooddealdamagedbylowdebauchery。NowfortheduelIspokeabout。Neverdidtwotradesmenoftheworsttype,withtheworstmanners,thelowestpairofvillainsimaginable,gointopartnershipinadirtierbusiness。
Theirstock-in-tradeconsistedofthepeculiaridiomofthemanabouttown,theaudacityofpoverty,thecunningthatcomesofexperience,andaspecialknowledgeofParisiancapitalists,theirorigin,connections,acquaintances,andintrinsicvalue。Thispartnershipoftwo\'dabblers\'lettheStockExchangetermpass,foritistheonlywordwhichdescribesthem,thispartnershipofdabblersdidnotlastverylong。Theyfoughtlikefamishedcursovereverybitofgarbage。
\"TheearlierspeculationsofthefirmofCerizetandClaparonwere,however,wellplanned。ThetwoscampsjoinedforceswithBarbet,Chaboisseau,Samanon,andusurersofthatstamp,andboughtuphopelesslybaddebts。
\"Claparon\'splaceofbusinessatthattimewasacrampedentresolintheRueChabannais——fiveroomsatarentofsevenhundredfrancsatmost。Eachpartnersleptinalittlecloset,socarefullyclosedfromprudence,thatmyhead-clerkcouldnevergetinside。Thefurnitureoftheotherthreerooms——anante-chamber,awaiting-room,andaprivateoffice——wouldnothavefetchedthreehundredfrancsaltogetheratadistress-warrantsale。
YouknowenoughofParistoknowthelookofit;thestuffedhorsehair-coveredchairs,atablecoveredwithagreencloth,atrumperyclockbetweenacoupleofcandlesconces,growingtarnishedunderglassshades,thesmallgilt-framedmirroroverthechimney-piece,andinthegrateacharredstickortwooffirewoodwhichhadlastedthemfortwowinters,asmyhead-clerkputit。Asfortheoffice,youcanguesswhatitwaslike——moreletter-filesthanbusinessletters,asetofcommonpigeon-holesforeitherpartner,acylinderdesk,emptyasthecash-box,inthemiddleoftheroom,andacoupleofarmchairsoneithersideofacoalfire。Thecarpetonthefloorwasboughtcheapatsecond-handlikethebillsandbaddebts。
Inshort,itwasthemahoganyfurnitureoffurnishedapartmentswhichusuallydescendsfromoneoccupantofchamberstoanotherduringfiftyyearsofservice。Nowyouknowthepairofantagonists。
\"Duringthefirstthreemonthsofapartnershipdissolvedfourmonthslaterinaboutoffisticuffs,CerizetandClaparonboughtuptwothousandfrancs\'worthofbillsbearingMaxime\'ssignaturesinceMaximewashisname,andfilledacoupleofletterstoburstingwithjudgments,appeals,ordersofthecourt,distress-warrants,applicationforstayofproceedings,andalltherestofit;toputitbriefly,theyhadbillsforthreethousandtwohundredfrancsoddcentimes,forwhichtheyhadgivenfivehundredfrancs;thetransferbeingmadeunderprivateseal,withspecialpowerofattorney,tosavetheexpenseofregistration。Nowitsohappenedatthisjuncture,Maxime,beingofripeage,wasseizedwithoneofthefanciespeculiartothemanoffifty——\"
\"Antonia!\"exclaimedLaPalferine。\"ThatAntoniawhosefortuneImadebywritingtoaskforatoothbrush!\"
\"HerrealnameisChocardelle,\"saidMalaga,notoverwellpleasedbythefine-soundingpseudonym。
\"Thesame,\"continuedDesroches。
\"ItwastheonlymistakeMaximeevermadeinhislife。Butwhatwouldyouhave,noviceisabsolutelyperfect?\"putinBixiou。
\"Maximehadstilltolearnwhatsortofalifeamanmaybeledintobyagirlofeighteenwhensheismindedtotakeaheaderfromherhonestgarretintoasumptuouscarriage;itisalessonthatallstatesmenshouldtaketoheart。Atthistime,deMarsayhadjustbeenemployinghisfriend,ourfrienddeTrailles,inthehighcomedyofpolitics。Maximehadlookedhighforhisconquests;hehadnoexperienceofuntitledwomen;andatfiftyyearshefeltthathehadarighttotakeabiteoftheso-calledwildfruit,muchasasportsmanwillhaltunderapeasant\'sapple-tree。SotheCountfoundareading-
roomforMlle。Chocardelle,arathersmartlittleplacetobehadcheap,asusual——\"
\"Pooh!\"saidNathan。\"Shedidnotstayinitsixmonths。Shewastoohandsometokeepareading-room。”
\"Perhapsyouarethefatherofherchild?\"suggestedthelorette。
Desrochesresumed。
\"SincethefirmboughtupMaxime\'sdebts,Cerizet\'slikenesstoabailiff\'sofficergrewmoreandmorestriking,andonemorningaftersevenfruitlessattemptshesucceededinpenetratingintotheCount\'spresence。Suzon,theoldman-servant,albeithewasbynomeansinhisnovitiate,atlastmistookthevisitorforapetitioner,cometoproposeathousandcrownsifMaximewouldobtainalicensetosellpostagestampsforayounglady。Suzon,withouttheslightestsuspicionofthelittlescamp,athoroughbredParisstreet-boyintowhomprudencehadbeenrubbedbyrepeatedpersonalexperienceofthepolice-courts,inducedhismastertoreceivehim。Canyouseethemanofbusiness,withanuneasyeye,abaldforehead,andscarcelyanyhaironhishead,standinginhisthreadbarejacketandmuddyboots——\"
\"WhatapictureofaDun!\"criedLousteau。
\"——standingbeforetheCount,thatimageofflauntingDebt,inhisblueflanneldressing-gown,slippersworkedbysomeMarquiseorother,trousersofwhitewoolenstuff,andadazzlingshirt?Therehestood,withagorgeouscaponhisblackdyedhair,playingwiththetasselsathiswaist——\"
\"\'Tisabitofgenreforanybodywhoknowswhattheprettylittlemorningroom,hungwithsilkandfullofvaluablepaintings,whereMaximebreakfasts,\"saidNathan。\"YoutreadonaSmyrnacarpet,youadmirethesideboardsfilledwithcuriositiesandraritiesfittomakeaKingofSaxonyenvious——\"
\"Nowforthesceneitself,\"saidDesroches,andthedeepestsilencefollowed。
\"\'MonsieurleComte,\'beganCerizet,\'IhavecomefromaM。CharlesClaparon,whousedtobeabanker——\'
\"\'Ah!poordevil,andwhatdoeshewantwithme?\'
\"\'Well,heisatpresentyourcreditorforamatterofthreethousandtwohundredfrancs,seventy-fivecentimes,principal,interest,andcosts——\'
\"\'Coutelier\'sbusiness?\'putinMaxime,whoknewhisaffairsasapilotknowshiscoast。
\"\'Yes,MonsieurleComte,\'saidCerizetwithabow。\'Ihavecometoaskyourintentions。\'
\"\'Ishallonlypaywhenthefancytakesme,\'returnedMaxime,andherangforSuzon。\'ItwasveryrashofClaparontobuyupbillsofminewithoutspeakingtomebeforehand。Iamsorryforhim,forhedidsoverywellforsuchalongtimeasamanofstrawforfriendsofmine。
Ialwayssaidthatamanmustreallybeweakinhisintellecttoworkformenthatstuffthemselveswithmillions,andtoservethemsofaithfullyforsuchlowwages。Andnowherehegivesmeanotherproofofhisstupidity!Yes,mendeservewhattheyget。Itisyourowndoingwhetheryougetacrownonyourforeheadorabulletthroughyourhead;whetheryouareamillionaireoraporter,justiceisalwaysdoneyou。Icannothelpit,mydearfellow;Imyselfamnotaking,I
sticktomyprinciples。Ihavenopityforthosethatputmetoexpenseordonotknowtheirbusinessascreditors——Suzon!mytea!Doyouseethisgentleman?\'hecontinuedwhenthemancamein。\'Well,youhaveallowedyourselftobetakenin,pooroldboy。Thisgentlemanisacreditor;yououghttohaveknownhimbyhisboots。Nofriendnorfoeofmine,northosethatareneitherandwantsomethingofme,cometoseemeonfoot——MydearM。Cerizet,doyouunderstand?Youwillnotwipeyourbootsonmycarpetagain\'lookingashespokeatthemudthatwhitenedtheenemy\'ssoles。\'ConveymycomplimentsandsympathytoClaparon,poorbuffer,forIshallfilethisbusinessundertheletterZ。\'