stationtoreporthisproceedings。Hecouldhavetakenherdirectly;buthisobjectwas,ifpossible,totraceoutthemanwhowassupposedtohavecommittedtherobbery。Thenheheardofthediscoveryofthebrooch;andconsequentlydidnotcaretoreturn。
Norahslepttilleventhesummereveningbegantoclosein。Thenup。Someonewasatthedoor。ItwouldbeMr。Frank;andshedizzilypushedbackherruffledgreyhair,whichhadfallenoverhereyes,andstoodlookingtoseehim。Instead,therecameinMr。
Openshawandapoliceman。
\"ThisisNorahKennedy,\"saidMr。Openshaw。
\"O,sir,\"saidNorah,\"Ididnottouchthebrooch;indeedIdidnot。
O,sir,Icannotlivetobethoughtsobadlyof;\"andverysickandfaint,shesuddenlysankdownontheground。Tohersurprise,Mr。
Openshawraisedherupverytenderly。Eventhepolicemanhelpedtolayheronthesofa;and,atMr。Openshaw\'sdesire,hewentforsomewineandsandwiches;forthepoorgauntwomanlaytherealmostasifdeadwithwearinessandexhaustion。
\"Norah!\"saidMr。Openshaw,inhiskindestvoice,\"thebroochisfound。ItwashangingtoMrs。Chadwick\'sgown。Ibegyourpardon。
MosttrulyIbegyourpardon,forhavingtroubledyouaboutit。Mywifeisalmostbroken-hearted。Eat,Norah,——or,stay,firstdrinkthisglassofwine,\"saidhe,liftingherhead,pouringalittledownherthroat。
Asshedrank,sherememberedwhereshewas,andwhoshewaswaitingfor。ShesuddenlypushedMr。Openshawaway,saying,\"O,sir,youmustgo。Youmustnotstopaminute。Ifhecomesbackhewillkillyou。\"
\"Alas,Norah!Idonotknowwho\'he\'is。Butsomeoneisgoneawaywhowillnevercomeback:someonewhoknewyou,andwhomIamafraidyoucaredfor。\"
\"Idon\'tunderstandyou,sir,\"saidNorah,hermaster\'skindandsorrowfulmannerbewilderingheryetmorethanhiswords。ThepolicemanhadlefttheroomatMr。Openshaw\'sdesire,andtheytwowerealone。
\"YouknowwhatImean,whenIsaysomeoneisgonewhowillnevercomeback。Imeanthatheisdead!\"
\"Who?\"saidNorah,tremblingallover。
\"ApoormanhasbeenfoundintheThamesthismorning,drowned。\"
\"Didhedrownhimself?\"askedNorah,solemnly。
\"Godonlyknows,\"repliedMr。Openshaw,inthesametone。\"Yournameandaddressatourhouse,werefoundinhispocket:that,andhispurse,weretheonlythings,thatwerefounduponhim。Iamsorrytosayit,mypoorNorah;butyouarerequiredtogoandidentifyhim。\"
\"Towhat?\"askedNorah。
\"Tosaywhoitis。Itisalwaysdone,inorderthatsomereasonmaybediscoveredforthesuicide——ifsuicideitwas。Imakenodoubthewasthemanwhocametoseeyouatourhouselastnight。Itisverysad,Iknow。\"Hemadepausesbetweeneachlittleclause,inordertotryandbringbackhersenses;whichhefearedwerewandering——sowildandsadwasherlook。
\"MasterOpenshaw,\"saidshe,atlast,\"I\'veadreadfulsecrettotellyou——onlyyoumustneverbreatheittoanyone,andyouandI
musthideitawayforever。Ithoughttohavedoneitallbymyself,butIseeIcannot。Yonpoorman——yes!thedead,drownedcreatureis,Ifear,Mr。Frank,mymistress\'sfirsthusband!\"
Mr。Openshawsatedown,asifshot。Hedidnotspeak;but,afterawhile,hesignedtoNorahtogoon。
\"Hecametometheothernight——when——Godbethanked——youwereallawayatRichmond。Heaskedmeifhiswifewasdeadoralive。Iwasabrute,andthoughtmoreofourallcominghomethanofhissoretrial:spokeoutsharp,andsaidshewasmarriedagain,andverycontentandhappy:Iallbutturnedhimaway:andnowheliesdeadandcold!\"
\"Godforgiveme!\"saidMr。Openshaw。
\"Godforgiveusall!\"saidNorah。\"Yonpoormanneedsforgivenessperhapslessthananyoneamongus。Hehadbeenamongthesavages——
shipwrecked——Iknownotwhat——andhehadwrittenletterswhichhadneverreachedmypoormissus。\"
\"Hesawhischild!\"
\"Hesawher——yes!Itookhimup,togivehisthoughtsanotherstart;forIbelievedhewasgoingmadonmyhands。Icametoseekhimhere,asImorethanhalfpromised。MymindmisgavemewhenI
heardhehadnevercomein。O,sirIitmustbehim!\"
Mr。Openshawrangthebell。Norahwasalmosttoomuchstunnedtowonderatwhathedid。Heaskedforwritingmaterials,wrotealetter,andthensaidtoNorah:
\"IamwritingtoAlice,tosayIshallbeunavoidablyabsentforafewdays;thatIhavefoundyou;thatyouarewell,andsendheryourlove,andwillcomehometo-morrow。YoumustgowithmetothePoliceCourt;youmustidentifythebody:Iwillpayhightokeepname;anddetailsoutofthepapers。
\"Butwhereareyougoing,sir?\"
Hedidnotanswerherdirectly。Thenhesaid:
\"Norah!Imustgowithyou,andlookonthefaceofthemanwhomI
havesoinjured,——unwittingly,itistrue;butitseemstomeasifIhadkilledhim。Iwilllayhisheadinthegrave,asifheweremyonlybrother:andhowhemusthavehatedme!IcannotgohometomywifetillallthatIcandoforhimisdone。ThenIgowithadreadfulsecretonmymind。Ishallneverspeakofitagain,afterthesedaysareover。Iknowyouwillnot,either。\"Heshookhandswithher:andtheynevernamedthesubjectagain,theonetotheother。
NorahwenthometoAlicethenextday。Notawordwassaidonthecauseofherabruptdepartureadayortwobefore。Alicehadbeenchargedbyherhusbandinhisletternottoalludetothesupposedtheftofthebrooch;soshe,implicitlyobedienttothosewhomshelovedbothbynatureandhabit,wasentirelysilentonthesubject,onlytreatedNorahwiththemosttenderrespect,asiftomakeupforunjustsuspicion。
NordidAliceinquireintothereasonwhyMr。Openshawhadbeenabsentduringhisuncleandaunt\'svisit,afterhehadoncesaidthatitwasunavoidable。Hecameback,graveandquiet;and,fromthattimeforth,wascuriouslychanged。Morethoughtful,andperhapslessactive;quiteasdecidedinconduct,butwithnewanddifferentrulesfortheguidanceofthatconduct。TowardsAlicehecouldhardlybemorekindthanhehadalwaysbeen;buthenowseemedtolookuponherassomeonesacredandtobetreatedwithreverence,aswellastenderness。Hethroveinbusiness,andmadealargefortune,onehalfofwhichwassettleduponher。
Longyearsaftertheseevents,——afewmonthsafterhermotherdied,Ailsieandher\"father\"asshealwayscalledMr。Openshawdrovetoacemeteryalittlewayoutoftown,andshewascarriedtoacertainmoundbyhermaid,whowasthensentbacktothecarriage。
Therewasahead-stone,withF。W。andadate。Thatwasall。
Sittingbythegrave,Mr。Openshawtoldherthestory;andforthesadfateofthatpoorfatherwhomshehadneverseen,heshedtheonlytearssheeversawfallfromhiseyes。
***
\"Amostinterestingstory,allthrough,\"Isaid,asJarberfoldedupthefirstofhisseriesofdiscoveriesintriumph。\"Astorythatgoesstraighttotheheart——especiallyattheend。But\"——Istopped,andlookedatTrottle。
Trottleenteredhisprotestdirectlyintheshapeofacough。
\"Well!\"Isaid,beginningtolosemypatience。\"Don\'tyouseethatIwantyoutospeak,andthatIdon\'twantyoutocough?\"
\"Quiteso,ma\'am,\"saidTrottle,inastateofrespectfulobstinacywhichwouldhaveupsetthetemperofasaint。\"Relative,Ipresume,tothisstory,ma\'am?\"
\"Yes,Yes!\"saidJarber。\"Byallmeansletushearwhatthisgoodmanhastosay。\"
\"Well,sir,\"answeredTrottle,\"IwanttoknowwhytheHouseoverthewaydoesn\'tlet,andIdon\'texactlyseehowyourstoryanswersthequestion。That\'sallIhavetosay,sir。\"
Ishouldhavelikedtocontradictmyopinionatedservant,atthatmoment。But,excellentasthestorywasinitself,Ifeltthathehadhitontheweakpoint,sofarasJarber\'sparticularpurposeinreadingitwasconcerned。
\"Andthatiswhatyouhavetosay,isit?\"repeatedJarber。\"I
enterthisroomannouncingthatIhaveaseriesofdiscoveries,andyoujumpinstantlytotheconclusionthatthefirstoftheseriesexhaustsmyresources。HaveIyourpermission,dearlady,toenlightenthisobtuseperson,ifpossible,byreadingNumberTwo?\"
\"Myworkisbehindhand,ma\'am,\"saidTrottle,movingtothedoor,themomentIgaveJarberleavetogoon。
\"Stopwhereyouare,\"Isaid,inmymostperemptorymanner,\"andgiveMr。Jarberhisfairopportunityofansweringyourobjectionnowyouhavemadeit。
Trottlesatdownwiththelookofamartyr,andJarberbegantoreadwithhisbackturnedontheenemymoredecidedlythanever。
GOINGINTOSOCIETY
Atoneperiodofitsreverses,theHousefellintotheoccupationofaShowman。Hewasfoundregisteredasitsoccupier,ontheparishbooksofthetimewhenherentedtheHouse,andtherewasthereforenoneedofanycluetohisname。But,hehimselfwaslesseasytobefound;for,hehadledawanderinglife,andsettledpeoplehadlostsightofhim,andpeoplewhoplumedthemselvesonbeingrespectablewereshyofadmittingthattheyhadeverknownanythingofhim。Atlast,amongthemarshlandsneartheriver\'slevel,thatlieaboutDeptfordandtheneighbouringmarket-gardens,aGrizzledPersonageinvelveteen,withafacesocutupbyvarietiesofweatherthathelookedasifhehadbeentattooed,wasfoundsmokingapipeatthedoorofawoodenhouseonwheels。Thewoodenhousewaslaidupinordinaryforthewinter,nearthemouthofamuddycreek;andeverythingnearit,thefoggyriver,themistymarshes,andthesteamingmarket-gardens,smokedincompanywiththegrizzledman。Inthemidstofthissmokingparty,thefunnel-chimneyofthewoodenhouseonwheelswasnotremiss,buttookitspipewiththerestinacompanionablemanner。
OnbeingaskedifitwerehewhohadoncerentedtheHousetoLet,GrizzledVelveteenlookedsurprised,andsaidyes。ThenhisnamewasMagsman?Thatwasit,TobyMagsman——whichlawfullychristenedRobert;butcalledintheline,fromainfant,Toby。TherewasnothingaginTobyMagsman,hebelieved?Iftherewassuspicionofsuch——mentionit!
Therewasnosuspicionofsuch,hemightrestassured。But,someinquiriesweremakingaboutthatHouse,andwouldheobjecttosaywhyheleftit?
Notatall;whyshouldhe?Heleftit,alongofaDwarf。
AlongofaDwarf?
Mr。Magsmanrepeated,deliberatelyandemphatically,AlongofaDwarf。
MightitbecompatiblewithMr。Magsman\'sinclinationandconveniencetoenter,asafavour,intoafewparticulars?
Mr。Magsmanenteredintothefollowingparticulars。
Itwasalongtimeago,tobeginwith;——aforelotteriesandadealmorewasdoneawaywith。Mr。Magsmanwaslookingaboutforagoodpitch,andheseethathouse,andhesaystohimself,\"I\'llhaveyou,ifyou\'retobehad。Ifmoney\'llgetyou,I\'llhaveyou。\"
Theneighbourscutuprough,andmadecomplaints;butMr。Magsmandon\'tknowwhattheyWOULDhavehad。Itwasalovelything。Firstofall,therewasthecanvass,representinthepicteroftheGiant,inSpanishtrunksandaruff,whowashimselfhalftheheighthofthehouse,andwasrunupwithalineandpulleytoapoleontheroof,sothathisEdwascoevalwiththeparapet。Then,therewasthecanvass,representinthepicteroftheAlbinalady,showingherwhiteairtotheArmyandNavyincorrectuniform。Then,therewasthecanvass,representinthepicteroftheWildIndianascalpinamemberofsomeforeignnation。Then,therewasthecanvass,representinthepicterofachildofaBritishPlanter,seizedbytwoBoaConstrictors——notthatWEneverhadnochild,nornoConstrictorsneither。Similarly,therewasthecanvass,representinthepicteroftheWildAssofthePrairies——notthatWEneverhadnowildasses,norwouldn\'thavehad\'ematagift。Last,therewasthecanvass,representinthepicteroftheDwarf,andlikehimtooconsiderin,withGeorgetheFourthinsuchastateofastonishmentathimasHisMajestycouldn\'twithhisutmostpolitenessandstoutnessexpress。ThefrontoftheHousewassocoveredwithcanvasses,thattherewasn\'tasparkofdaylightevervisibleonthatside。\"MAGSMAN\'SAMUSEMENTS,\"fifteenfootlongbytwofoothigh,ranoverthefrontdoorandparlourwinders。ThepassagewasaArbourofgreenbaizeandgardenstuff。Abarrel-organperformedthereunceasing。Andastorespectability,——ifthreepenceain\'trespectable,whatis?
But,theDwarfistheprincipalarticleatpresent,andhewasworththemoney。HewaswroteupasMAJORTPSCHOFFKI,OFTHEIMPERIAL
BULGRADERIANBRIGADE。Nobodycouldn\'tpronouncethename,anditneverwasintendedanybodyshould。Thepublicalwaysturnedit,asaregularrule,intoChopski。InthelinehewascalledChops;
partlyonthataccount,andpartlybecausehisrealname,ifheeverhadanyrealnamewhichwasverydubious,wasStakes。
Hewasaun-commonsmallman,hereallywas。Certainlynotsosmallashewasmadeouttobe,butwhereISyourDwarfasis?Hewasamostuncommonsmallman,withamostuncommonlargeEd;andwhathehadinsidethatEd,nobodyeverknowedbuthimself:evensupposinhimselftohaveevertookstockofit,whichitwouldhavebeenastiffjobforevenhimtodo。
Thekindestlittlemanasnevergrowed!Spirited,butnotproud。
WhenhetravelledwiththeSpottedBaby——thoughheknowedhimselftobeanat\'ralDwarf,andknowedtheBaby\'sspotstobeputuponhimartificial,henursedthatBabylikeamother。Youneverheerdhimgiveaill-nametoaGiant。HeDIDallowhimselftobreakoutintostronglanguagerespectintheFatLadyfromNorfolk;butthatwasanaffairofthe\'art;andwhenaman\'s\'arthasbeentrifledwithbyalady,andthepreferencegivtoaIndian,heain\'tmasterofhisactions。
Hewasalwaysinlove,ofcourse;everyhumannat\'ralphenomenonis。
Andhewasalwaysinlovewithalargewoman;IneverknowedtheDwarfascouldbegottoloveasmallone。Whichhelpstokeep\'emtheCuriositiestheyare。
Onesing\'lerideahehadinthatEdofhis,whichmusthavemeantsomething,oritwouldn\'thavebeenthere。Itwasalwayshisopinionthathewasentitledtoproperty。Heneverwouldputhisnametoanything。Hehadbeentaughttowrite,bytheyoungmanwithoutarms,whogothislivingwithhistoesquiteawritingmasterHEwas,andtaughtscoresintheline,butChopswouldhavestarvedtodeath,aforehe\'dhavegainedabitofbreadbyputtinghishandtoapaper。Thisisthemorecurioustobearinmind,becauseHEhadnoproperty,norhopeofproperty,excepthishouseandasarser。WhenIsayhishouse,Imeanthebox,paintedandgotupoutsidelikeareg\'larsix-roomer,thatheusedtocreepinto,withadiamondringorquiteasgoodtolookatonhisforefinger,andringalittlebelloutofwhatthePublicbelievedtobetheDrawing-roomwinder。AndwhenIsayasarser,ImeanaChaneysarserinwhichhemadeacollectionforhimselfattheendofeveryEntertainment。Hiscueforthat,hetookfromme:\"Ladiesandgentlemen,thelittlemanwillnowwalkthreetimesroundtheCairawan,andretirebehindthecurtain。\"Whenhesaidanythingimportant,inprivatelife,hemostlywounditupwiththisformofwords,andtheywasgenerallythelastthinghesaidtomeatnightaforehewenttobed。
HehadwhatIconsiderafinemind——apoeticmind。Hisideasrespectinhispropertynevercomeuponhimsostrongaswhenhesatuponabarrel-organandhadthehandleturned。Arterthewibrationhadrunthroughhimalittletime,hewouldscreechout,\"Toby,I
feelmypropertycoming——grindaway!I\'mcountingmyguineasbythousands,Toby——grindaway!Toby,Ishallbeamanoffortun!I
feeltheMintajinglinginme,Toby,andI\'mswellingoutintotheBankofEngland!\"Suchistheinfluenceofmusiconapoeticmind。
Notthathewaspartialtoanyothermusicbutabarrel-organ;onthecontrary,hatedit。
HehadakindofaeverlastinggrudgeaginthePublic:whichisathingyoumaynoticeinmanyphenomenonsthatgettheirlivingoutofit。Whatriledhimmostinthenaterofhisoccupationwas,thatitkephimoutofSociety。Hewascontiniwallysaying,\"Toby,myambitionis,togointoSociety。ThecurseofmypositiontowardsthePublicis,thatitkeepsmehoutofSociety。Thisdon\'tsignifytoalowbeastofaIndian;hean\'tformedforSociety。Thisdon\'tsignifytoaSpottedBaby;HEan\'tformedforSociety——Iam。\"
NobodynevercouldmakeoutwhatChopsdonewithhismoney。Hehadagoodsalary,downonthedrumeverySaturdayasthedaycameround,besideshavingtherunofhisteeth——andhewasaWoodpeckertoeat——butallDwarfsare。Thesarserwasalittleincome,bringinghiminsomanyhalfpencethathe\'dcarry\'emforaweektogether,tiedupinapocket-handkercher。Andyetheneverhadmoney。Anditcouldn\'tbetheFatLadyfromNorfolk,aswasoncesupposed;becauseitstandstoreasonthatwhenyouhaveaanimositytowardsaIndian,whichmakesyougrindyourteethathimtohisface,andwhichcanhardlyholdyoufromGoosinghimaudiblewhenhe\'sgoingthroughhisWar-Dance——itstandstoreasonyouwouldn\'tunderthemcircumstancesdepriveyourself,tosupportthatIndianinthelapofluxury。
Mostunexpected,themysterycomeoutonedayatEghamRaces。ThePublicwasshyofbeinpulledin,andChopswasringinhislittlebelloutofhisdrawing-roomwinder,andwassnarlintomeoverhisshoulderashekneeleddownwithhislegsoutattheback-door——forhecouldn\'tbeshovedintohishousewithoutkneelingdown,andthepremiseswouldn\'taccommodatehislegs——wassnarlin,\"Here\'sapreciousPublicforyou;whytheDevildon\'ttheytumbleup?\"whenamaninthecrowdholdsupacarrier-pigeon,andcriesout,\"Ifthere\'sanypersonhereashasgotaticket,theLottery\'sjustdrawed,andthenumberashascomeupforthegreatprizeisthree,seven,forty-two!Three,seven,forty-two!\"IwasgivinthemantotheFuriesmyself,forcallingoffthePublic\'sattention——forthePublicwillturnaway,atanytime,tolookatanythinginpreferencetothethingshowed\'em;andifyoudoubtit,get\'emtogetherforanyindiwidualpurposeonthefaceoftheearth,andsendonlytwopeopleinlate,andseeifthewholecompanyan\'tfarmoreinterestedintakinparticularnoticeofthemtwothanofyou——
Isay,Iwasn\'tbestpleasedwiththemanforcallinout,andwasn\'tblessinhiminmyownmind,whenIseeChops\'slittlebellflyoutofwinderataoldlady,andhegetsupandkickshisboxover,exposinthewholesecret,andhecatchesholdofthecalvesofmylegsandhesaystome,\"Carrymeintothewan,Toby,andthrowapailofwaterovermeorI\'madeadman,forI\'vecomeintomyproperty!\"
Twelvethousandoddhundredpound,wasChops\'swinnins。Hehadboughtahalf-ticketforthetwenty-fivethousandprize,andithadcomeup。Thefirstusehemadeofhisproperty,was,tooffertofighttheWildIndianforfivehundredpoundaside,himwithapoisoneddarnin-needleandtheIndianwithaclub;buttheIndianbeinginwantofbackerstothatamount,itwentnofurther。
Arterhehadbeenmadforaweek——inastateofmind,inshort,inwhich,ifIhadlethimsitontheorganforonlytwominutes,I
believehewouldhavebust——butwekeptheorganfromhim——Mr。Chopscomeround,andbehavedliberalandbeautifultoall。Hethensentforayoungmanheknowed,ashadawerygenteelappearanceandwasaBonnetatagaming-boothmostrespectablebroughtup,fatherhavinbeenimminentintheliverystablelinebutunfort\'nateinacommercialcrisis,throughpaintinaoldgray,ginger-bay,andsellinhimwithaPedigree,andMr。ChopssaidtothisBonnet,whosaidhisnamewasNormandy,whichitwasn\'t:
\"Normandy,I\'magoinintoSociety。Willyougowithme?\"
SaysNormandy:\"DoIunderstandyou,Mr。Chops,tohintimatethatthe\'oleoftheexpensesofthatmovewillbebornebyyourself?\"
\"Correct,\"saysMr。Chops。\"AndyoushallhaveaPrincelyallowancetoo。\"
TheBonnetliftedMr。Chopsuponachair,toshakehandswithhim,andrepliedinpoetry,withhiseyesseeminglyfulloftears:
\"Myboatisontheshore,Andmybarkisonthesea,AndIdonotaskformore,ButI\'llGo:-alongwiththee。\"
TheywentintoSociety,inachayandfourgrayswithsilkjackets。
TheytooklodgingsinPallMall,London,andtheyblazedaway。
InconsequenceofanotethatwasbroughttoBartlemyFairintheautumnofnextyearbyaservant,mostwonderfulgotupinmilk-
whitecordsandtops,IcleanedmyselfandwenttoPallMall,oneeveningappinted。Thegentlemenwasattheirwinearterdinner,andMr。Chops\'seyeswasmorefixedinthatEdofhisthanIthoughtgoodforhim。Therewasthreeof\'emincompany,Imean,andI
knowedthethirdwell。Whenlastmet,hehadonawhiteRomanshirt,andabishop\'smitrecoveredwithleopard-skin,andplayedtheclarionetallwrong,inabandataWildBeastShow。
Thisgenttookonnottoknowme,andMr。Chopssaid:\"Gentlemen,thisisaoldfriendofformerdays:\"andNormandylookedatmethroughaeye-glass,andsaid,\"Magsman,gladtoseeyou!\"——whichI\'lltakemyoathhewasn\'t。Mr。Chops,togithimconvenienttothetable,hadhischaironathronemuchoftheformofGeorgetheFourth\'sinthecanvass,buthehardlyappearedtometobeKingthereinanyotherpintofview,forhistwogentlemenorderedaboutlikeEmperors。TheywasalldressedlikeMay-Day——gorgeous!——AndastoWine,theyswaminallsorts。
Imadetheroundofthebottles,firstseparatetosayIhaddoneit,andthenmixed\'emalltogethertosayIhaddoneit,andthentriedtwoof\'emashalf-and-half,andthent\'othertwo。
Altogether,Ipassedapleasinevenin,butwithatendencytofeelmuddled,untilIconsidereditgoodmannerstogetupandsay,\"Mr。
Chops,thebestoffriendsmustpart,Ithankyouforthewarietyofforeigndrainsyouhavestoodso\'ansome,Ilookstowardsyouinredwine,andItakesmyleave。\"Mr。Chopsreplied,\"Ifyou\'lljusthitchmeoutofthisoveryourrightarm,Magsman,andcarrymedown-stairs,I\'llseeyouout。\"IsaidIcouldn\'tthinkofsuchathing,buthewouldhaveit,soIliftedhimoffhisthrone。HesmeltstrongofMaideary,andIcouldn\'thelpthinkingasIcarriedhimdownthatitwaslikecarryingalargebottlefullofwine,witharaytheruglystopper,agooddealoutofproportion。
WhenIsethimonthedoor-matinthehall,hekepmeclosetohimbyholdingontomycoat-collar,andhewhispers:
\"Iain\'t\'appy,Magsman。\"
\"What\'sonyourmind,Mr。Chops?\"
\"Theydon\'tusemewell。Theyan\'tgratefultome。Theyputsmeonthemantel-piecewhenIwon\'thaveinmoreChampagne-wine,andtheylocksmeinthesideboardwhenIwon\'tgiveupmyproperty。\"
\"Getridof\'em,Mr。Chops。\"
\"Ican\'t。We\'reinSocietytogether,andwhatwouldSocietysay?\"
\"ComeoutofSociety!\"saysI。
\"Ican\'t。Youdon\'tknowwhatyou\'retalkingabout。WhenyouhaveoncegoneintoSociety,youmustn\'tcomeoutofit。\"
\"Thenifyou\'llexcusethefreedom,Mr。Chops,\"weremyremark,shakingmyheadgrave,\"Ithinkit\'sapityyoueverwentin。\"
Mr。ChopsshookthatdeepEdofhis,toasurprisinextent,andslappedithalfadozentimeswithhishand,andwithmoreWicethanIthoughtwereinhim。Then,hesays,\"You\'reagoodfellow,butyoudon\'tunderstand。Good-night,goalong。Magsman,thelittlemanwillnowwalkthreetimesroundtheCairawan,andretirebehindthecurtain。\"ThelastIseeofhimonthatoccasionwashistryin,ontheextremestwergeofinsensibility,toclimbupthestairs,onebyone,withhishandsandknees。They\'dhavebeenmuchtoosteepforhim,ifhehadbeensober;buthewouldn\'tbehelped。
Itwarn\'tlongafterthat,thatIreadinthenewspaperofMr。
Chops\'sbeingpresentedatcourt。Itwasprinted,\"Itwillberecollected\"——andI\'venoticedinmylife,thatitissuretobeprintedthatitWILLberecollected,wheneveritwon\'t——\"thatMr。
Chopsistheindividualofsmallstature,whosebrilliantsuccessinthelastStateLotteryattractedsomuchattention。\"Well,Isaystomyself,SuchisLife!Hehasbeenanddoneitinearnestatlast。HehasastonishedGeorgetheFourth!
Onaccountofwhich,Ihadthatcanvassnew-painted,himwithabagofmoneyinhishand,apresentinittoGeorgetheFourth,andaladyinOstrichFeathersfallininlovewithhiminabag-wig,sword,andbucklescorrect。
ItooktheHouseasisthesubjectofpresentinquiries——thoughnotthehonourofbeinacquainted——andIrunMagsman\'sAmusementsinitthirteenmonths——sometimesonething,sometimesanother,sometimesnothinparticular,butalwaysallthecanvassesoutside。Onenight,whenwehadplayedthelastcompanyout,whichwasashycompany,throughitsrainingHeavenshard,Iwastakinapipeintheonepairbackalongwiththeyoungmanwiththetoes,whichIhadtakenonforamonththoughheneverdrawed——exceptonpaper,andIheardakickinatthestreetdoor。\"Halloa!\"Isaystotheyoungman,\"what\'sup!\"Herubshiseyebrowswithhistoes,andhesays,\"I
can\'timagine,Mr。Magsman\"——whichhenevercouldimaginenothin,andwasmonotonouscompany。
Thenoisenotleavinoff,Ilaiddownmypipe,andItookupacandle,andIwentdownandopenedthedoor。Ilookedoutintothestreet;butnothincouldIsee,andnothinwasIawareof,untilI
turnedroundquick,becausesomecreeturrunbetweenmylegsintothepassage。TherewasMr。Chops!
\"Magsman,\"hesays,\"takeme,ontheoldterms,andyou\'vegotme;
ifit\'sdone,saydone!\"
Iwasallofamaze,butIsaid,\"Done,sir。\"
\"Donetoyourdone,anddoubledone!\"sayshe。\"Haveyougotabitofsupperinthehouse?\"
Bearininmindthemsparklinwarietiesofforeigndrainsaswe\'dguzzledawayatinPallMall,Iwasashamedtoofferhimcoldsassagesandgin-and-water;buthetook\'embothandtook\'emfree;
havinachairforhistable,andsittindownatitonastool,likeholdtimes。I,allofamazeallthewhile。
Itwasarterhehadmadeacleansweepofthesassagesbeef,andtothebestofmycalculationstwopoundandaquarter,thatthewisdomaswasinthatlittlemanbegantocomeoutofhimlikeprespiration。
\"Magsman,\"hesays,\"lookuponme!Youseeaforeyou,OneashasbothgoneintoSocietyandcomeout。\"
\"O!YouAREoutofit,Mr。Chops?Howdidyougetout,sir?\"
\"SOLDOUT!\"sayshe。YouneversawthelikeofthewisdomashisEdexpressed,whenhemadeuseofthemtwowords。
\"MyfriendMagsman,I\'llimparttoyouadiscoveryI\'vemade。It\'swallable;it\'scosttwelvethousandfivehundredpound;itmaydoyougoodinlife——Thesecretofthismatteris,thatitain\'tsomuchthatapersongoesintoSociety,asthatSocietygoesintoaperson。\"
Notexactlykeepinupwithhismeanin,Ishookmyhead,putonadeeplook,andsaid,\"You\'rerightthere,Mr。Chops。\"
\"Magsman,\"hesays,twitchinmebytheleg,\"Societyhasgoneintome,tothetuneofeverypennyofmyproperty。\"