\"Wereyouactuallygoingyondertotellonthem?\"
Hedidn\'tquiteknowhowtotakethat;buthesaid,hesitatingly:
\"Ye-s.\"
\"ThenIthinkyouareadamnedscoundrel!\"
ItmadehimasgladasifIhadcalledhimanangel.
\"Saythegoodwordsagain,brother!forsurelyyemeanthatyewouldnotbetraymeanIfailedofmyduty.\"
\"Duty?Thereisnodutyinthematter,exceptthedutytokeepstillandletthosemengetaway.They\'vedonearighteousdeed.\"
Helookedpleased;pleased,andtouchedwithapprehensionatthesametime.Helookedupanddowntheroadtoseethatnoonewascoming,andthensaidinacautiousvoice:
\"Fromwhatlandcomeyou,brother,thatyouspeaksuchperilouswords,andseemnottobeafraid?\"
\"Theyarenotperilouswordswhenspokentooneofmyowncaste,Itakeit.YouwouldnottellanybodyIsaidthem?\"
\"I?Iwouldbedrawnasunderbywildhorsesfirst.\"
\"Well,then,letmesaymysay.Ihavenofearsofyourrepeatingit.
Ithinkdevil\'sworkhasbeendonelastnightuponthoseinnocentpoorpeople.Thatoldbarongotonlywhathedeserved.IfIhadmyway.allhiskindshouldhavethesameluck.\"
Fearanddepressionvanishedfromtheman\'smanner,andgratefulnessandabraveanimationtooktheirplace:
\"Eventhoughyoubeaspy,andyourwordsatrapformyundoing,yetaretheysuchrefreshmentthattohearthemagainandothersliketothem,Iwouldgotothegallowshappy,ashavinghadonegoodfeastatleastinastarvedlife.AndIwillsaymysaynow,andyemayreportitifyebesominded.Ihelpedtohangmyneighborsforthatitwereperiltomyownlifetoshowlackofzealinthemaster\'scause;theothershelpedfornoneotherreason.Allrejoicetodaythatheisdead,butalldogoaboutseeminglysorrowing,andsheddingthehypocrite\'stear,forinthatliessafety.Ihavesaidthewords,Ihavesaidthewords!theonlyonesthathaveevertastedgoodinmymouth,andtherewardofthattasteissufficient.Leadon,anyewill,beiteventothescaffold,forIamready.\"
Thereitwas,yousee.Amanisaman,atbottom.Wholeagesofabuseandoppressioncannotcrushthemanhoodclearoutofhim.Whoeverthinksitamistakeishimselfmistaken.Yes,thereisplentygoodenoughmaterialforarepublicinthemostdegradedpeoplethateverexisted——eventheRussians;plentyofmanhoodinthem——evenintheGermans——ifonecouldbutforceitoutofitstimidandsuspiciousprivacy,tooverthrowandtrampleinthemudanythronethateverwassetupandanynobilitythateversupportedit.Weshouldseecertainthingsyet,letushopeandbelieve.
First,amodifiedmonarchy,tillArthur\'sdaysweredone,thenthedestructionofthethrone,nobilityabolished,everymemberofitboundouttosomeusefultrade,universalsuffrageinstituted,andthewholegovernmentplacedinthehandsofthemenandwomenofthenationtheretoremain.Yes,therewasnooccasiontogiveupmydreamyetawhile.
AConnecticutYankeeinKingArthur\'sCourt-Chapter31Chapter31-MarcoWEstrolledalonginasufficientlyindolentfashionnow,andtalked.WemustdisposeofabouttheamountoftimeitoughttotaketogotothelittlehamletofAbblasoureandputjusticeonthetrackofthosemurderersandgetbackhomeagain.AndmeantimeIhadanauxiliaryinterestwhichhadneverpaledyet,neverlostitsnoveltyformesinceIhadbeeninArthur\'skingdom:thebehavior——bornofniceandexactsubdivisionsofcaste——ofchancepassers-bytowardeachother.Towardtheshavenmonkwhotrudgedalongwithhiscowltiltedbackandthesweatwashingdownhisfatjowls,thecoal-burnerwasdeeplyreverent;tothegentlemanhewasabject;withthesmallfarmerandthefreemechanichewascordialandgossipy;andwhenaslavepassedbywithacountenancerespectfullylowered,thischap\'snosewasintheair——hecouldn\'tevenseehim.Well,therearetimeswhenonewouldliketohangthewholehumanraceandfinishthefarce.
Presentlywestruckanincident.Asmallmobofhalf-nakedboysandgirlscametearingoutofthewoods,scaredandshrieking.Theeldestamongthemwerenotmorethantwelveorfourteenyearsold.Theyimploredhelp,buttheyweresobesidethemselvesthatwecouldn\'tmakeoutwhatthematterwas.However,weplungedintothewood,theyskurryinginthelead,andthetroublewasquicklyrevealed:theyhadhangedalittlefellowwithabarkrope,andhewaskickingandstruggling,intheprocessofchokingtodeath.Werescuedhim,andfetchedhimaround.Itwassomemorehumannature;theadmiringlittlefolkimitatingtheirelders;theywereplayingmob,andhadachievedasuccesswhichpromisedtobeagooddealmoreseriousthantheyhadbargainedfor.
Itwasnotadullexcursionforme.Imanagedtoputinthetimeverywell.Imadevariousacquaintanceships,andinmyqualityofstrangerwasabletoaskasmanyquestionsasIwantedto.Athingwhichnaturallyinterestedme,asastatesman,wasthematterofwages.IpickedupwhatIcouldunderthatheadduringtheafternoon.Amanwhohasn\'thadmuchexperience,anddoesn\'tthink,isapttomeasureanation\'sprosperityorlackofprosperitybythemeresizeoftheprevailingwages;ifthewagesbehigh,thenationisprosperous;iflow,itisn\'t.Whichisanerror.Itisn\'twhatsumyouget,it\'showmuchyoucanbuywithit,that\'stheimportantthing;andit\'sthatthattellswhetheryourwagesarehighinfactoronlyhighinname.Icouldrememberhowitwasinthetimeofourgreatcivilwarinthenineteenthcentury.IntheNorthacarpentergotthreedollarsaday,goldvaluation;intheSouthhegotfifty——payableinConfederateshinplastersworthadollarabushel.IntheNorthasuitofoverallscostthreedollars——aday\'swages;intheSouthitcostseventyfive——whichwastwodays\'
wages.Otherthingswereinproportion.Consequently,wagesweretwiceashighintheNorthastheywereintheSouth,becausetheonewagehadthatmuchmorepurchasingpowerthantheotherhad.
Yes,Imadevariousacquaintancesinthehamletandathingthatgratifiedmeagooddealwastofindournewcoinsincirculation——lotsofmilrays,lotsofmills,lotsofcents,agoodmanynickels,andsomesilver;allthisamongtheartisansandcommonaltygenerally;yes,andevensomegold——butthatwasatthebank,thatistosay,thegoldsmith\'s.IdroppedintherewhileMarco,thesonofMarco,washagglingwithashopkeeperoveraquarterofapoundofsalt,andaskedforchangeforatwenty-dollargoldpiece.Theyfurnishedit——thatis,aftertheyhadchewedthepiece,andrungitonthecounter,andtriedacidonit,andaskedmewhereI
gotit,andwhoIwas,andwhereIwasfrom,andwhereIwasgoingto,andwhenIexpectedtogetthere,andperhapsacoupleofhundredmorequestions;andwhentheygotaground,Iwentrightonandfurnishedthemalotofinformationvoluntarily;toldthemIownedadog,andhisnamewasWatch,andmyfirstwifewasaFreeWillBaptist,andhergrandfatherwasaProhibitionist,andIusedtoknowamanwhohadtwothumbsoneachhandandawartontheinsideofhisupperlip,anddiedinthehopeofagloriousresurrection,andsoon,andsoon,andsoon,tilleventhathungryvillagequestionerbegantolooksatisfied,andalsoashadeputout;buthehadtorespectamanofmyfinancialstrength,andsohedidn\'tgivemeanylip,butInoticedhetookitoutofhisunderlings,whichwasaperfectlynaturalthingtodo.Yes,theychangedmytwenty,butI
judgeditstrainedthebankalittle,whichwasathingtobeexpected,foritwasthesameaswalkingintoapaltryvillagestoreinthenineteenthcenturyandrequiringthebossofittochangeatwothousand-dollarbillforyouallofasudden.Hecoulddoit,maybe;butatthesametimehewouldwonderhowasmallfarmerhappenedtobecarryingsomuchmoneyaroundinhispocket;whichwasprobablythisgoldsmith\'sthought,too;forhefollowedmetothedoorandstoodtheregazingaftermewithreverentadmiration.
Ournewmoneywasnotonlyhandsomelycirculating,butitslanguagewasalreadygliblyinuse;thatistosay,peoplehaddroppedthenamesoftheformermoneys,andspokeofthingsasbeingworthsomanydollarsorcentsormillsormilraysnow.Itwasverygratifying.Wewereprogressing,thatwassure.
Igottoknowseveralmastermechanics,butaboutthemostinterestingfellowamongthemwastheblacksmith,Dowley.Hewasalivemanandabrisktalker,andhadtwojourneymenandthreeapprentices,andwasdoingaragingbusiness.Infact,hewasgettingrich,handoverfist,andwasvastlyrespected.Marcowasveryproudofhavingsuchamanforafriend.Hehadtakenmethereostensiblytoletmeseethebigestablishmentwhichboughtsomuchofhischarcoal,butreallytoletmeseewhateasyandalmostfamiliartermshewasonwiththisgreatman.DowleyandIfraternizedatonce;Ihadhadjustsuchpickedmen,splendidfellows,undermeintheColtArmsFactory.Iwasboundtoseemoreofhim,soIinvitedhimtocomeouttoMarco\'sSunday,anddinewithus.Marcowasappalled,andheldhisbreath;andwhenthegrandeeaccepted,hewassogratefulthathealmostforgottobeastonishedatthecondescension.
Marco\'sjoywasexuberant——butonlyforamoment;thenhegrewthoughtful,thensad;andwhenheheardmetellDowleyIshouldhaveDickon,thebossmason,andSmug,thebosswheelwright,outthere,too,thecoal-dustonhisfaceturnedtochalk,andhelosthisgrip.ButIknewwhatwasthematterwithhim;itwastheexpense.Hesawruinbeforehim;hejudgedthathisfinancialdayswerenumbered.However,onourwaytoinvitetheothers,Isaid:
\"Youmustallowmetohavethesefriendscome;andyoumustalsoallowmetopaythecosts.\"
Hisfacecleared,andhesaidwithspirit:
\"Butnotallofit,notallofit.Yecannotwellbearaburdenliketothisalone.\"
Istoppedhim,andsaid:
\"Nowlet\'sunderstandeachotheronthespot,oldfriend.Iamonlyafarmbailiff,itistrue;butIamnotpoor,nevertheless.Ihavebeenveryfortunatethisyear——youwouldbeastonishedtoknowhowIhavethriven.ItellyouthehonesttruthwhenIsayIcouldsquanderawayasmanyasadozenfeastslikethisandnevercareTHATfortheexpense!\"
andIsnappedmyfingers.IcouldseemyselfriseafootatatimeinMarco\'sestimation,andwhenIfetchedoutthoselastwordsIwasbecomeaverytowerforstyleandaltitude.\"Soyousee,youmustletmehavemyway.
Youcan\'tcontributeacenttothisorgy,that\'sSETTLED.\"
\"It\'sgrandandgoodofyou——\"
\"No,itisn\'t.You\'veopenedyourhousetoJonesandmeinthemostgenerousway;Joneswasremarkinguponitto-day,justbeforeyoucamebackfromthevillage;foralthoughhewouldn\'tbelikelytosaysuchathingtoyou——becauseJonesisn\'tatalker,andisdiffidentinsociety——hehasagoodheartandagrateful,andknowshowtoappreciateitwhenheiswelltreated;yes,youandyourwifehavebeenveryhospitabletowardus——\"
\"Ah,brother,\'tisnothing——SUCHhospitality!\"
\"ButitISsomething;thebestamanhas,freelygiven,isalwayssomething,andisasgoodasaprincecando,andranksrightalongbesideit——forevenaprincecanbutdohisbest.Andsowe\'llshoparoundandgetupthislayoutnow,anddon\'tyouworryabouttheexpense.I\'moneoftheworstspendthriftsthateverwasborn.Why,doyouknow,sometimesinasingleweekIspend——butnevermindaboutthat——you\'dneverbelieveitanyway.\"
Andsowewentgaddingalong,droppinginhereandthere,pricingthings,andgossipingwiththeshopkeepersabouttheriot,andnowandthenrunningacrosspatheticremindersofit,inthepersonsofshunnedandtearfulandhouselessremnantsoffamilieswhosehomeshadbeentakenfromthemandtheirparentsbutcheredorhanged.TheraimentofMarcoandhiswifewasofcoarsetow-linenandlinsey-woolseyrespectively,andresembledtownshipmaps,itbeingmadeupprettyexclusivelyofpatcheswhichhadbeenadded,townshipbytownship,inthecourseoffiveorsixyears,untilhardlyahand\'s-breadthoftheoriginalgarmentswassurvivingandpresent.
NowIwantedtofitthesepeopleoutwithnewsuits,onaccountofthatswellcompany,andIdidn\'tknowjusthowtogetatit——withdelicacy,untilatlastitstruckmethatasIhadalreadybeenliberalininventingwordygratitudefortheking,itwouldbejustthethingtobackitupwithevidenceofasubstantialsort;soIsaid:
\"AndMarco,there\'sanotherthingwhichyoumustpermit——outofkindnessforJones——becauseyouwouldn\'twanttooffendhim.Hewasveryanxioustotestifyhisappreciationinsomeway,butheissodiffidenthecouldn\'tventureithimself,andsohebeggedmetobuysomelittlethingsandgivethemtoyouandDamePhyllisandlethimpayforthemwithoutyoureverknowingtheycamefromhim——youknowhowadelicatepersonfeelsaboutthatsortofthing——andsoIsaidIwould,andwewouldkeepmum.Well,hisideawas,anewoutfitofclothesforyouboth——\"
\"Oh,itiswastefulness!Itmaynotbe,brother,itmaynotbe.Considerthevastnessofthesum——\"
\"Hangthevastnessofthesum!Trytokeepquietforamoment,andseehowitwouldseem;abodycan\'tgetinawordedgeways,youtalksomuch.
Yououghttocurethat,Marco;itisn\'tgoodform,youknow,anditwillgrowonyouifyoudon\'tcheckit.Yes,we\'llstepinherenowandpricethisman\'sstuff——anddon\'tforgettoremembertonotletontoJonesthatyouknowhehadanythingtodowithit.Youcan\'tthinkhowcuriouslysensitiveandproudheis.He\'safarmer——prettyfairlywell-to-dofarmer——anI\'mhisbailiff;BUT——theimaginationofthatman!Why,sometimeswhenheforgetshimselfandgetstoblowingoff,you\'dthinkhewasoneoftheswellsoftheearth;andyoumightlistentohimahundredyearsandnevertakehimforafarmer——especiallyifhetalkedagriculture.
HeTHINKShe\'saSheolofafarmer;thinkshe\'soldGraybackfromWayback;
butbetweenyouandmeprivatelyhedon\'tknowasmuchaboutfarmingashedoesaboutrunningakingdom——still,whateverhetalksabout,youwanttodropyourunderjawandlisten,thesameasifyouhadneverheardsuchincrediblewisdominallyourlifebefore,andwereafraidyoumightdiebeforeyougotenoughofit.ThatwillpleaseJones.\"
IttickledMarcotothemarrowtohearaboutsuchanoddcharacter;
butitalsopreparedhimforaccidents;andinmyexperiencewhenyoutravelwithakingwhoislettingontobesomethingelseandcan\'trememberitmorethanabouthalfthetime,youcan\'ttaketoomanyprecautions.
Thiswasthebeststorewehadcomeacrossyet;ithadeverythinginit,insmallquantities,fromanvilsanddrygoodsallthewaydowntofishandpinchbeckjewelry.IconcludedIwouldbunchmywholeinvoicerighthere,andnotgopricingaroundanymore.SoIgotridofMarco,bysendinghimofftoinvitethemasonandthewheelwright,whichleftthefieldfreetome.ForInevercaretodoathinginaquietway;it\'sgottobetheatricalorIdon\'ttakeanyinterestinit.Ishowedupmoneyenough,inacarelessway,tocorraltheshopkeeper\'srespect,andthenIwrotedownalistofthethingsIwanted,andhandedittohimtoseeifhecouldreadit.Hecould,andwasproudtoshowthathecould.Hesaidhehadbeeneducatedbyapriest,andcouldbothreadandwrite.Heranitthrough,andremarkedwithsatisfactionthatitwasaprettyheavybill.Well,andsoitwas,foralittleconcernlikethat.Iwasnotonlyprovidingaswelldinner,butsomeoddsandendsofextras.IorderedthatthethingsbecartedoutanddeliveredatthedwellingofMarco,thesonofMarco,bySaturdayevening,andsendmethebillatdinner-timeSunday.HesaidIcoulddependuponhispromptnessandexactitude,itwastheruleofthehouse.Healsoobservedthathewouldthrowinacoupleofmiller-gunsfortheMarcosgratis——
thateverybodywasusingthemnow.Hehadamightyopinionofthatcleverdevice.Isaid:
\"Andpleasefillthemuptothemiddlemark,too;andaddthattothebill.\"
Hewould,withpleasure.Hefilledthem,andItookthemwithme.I
couldn\'tventuretotellhimthatthemiller-gunwasalittleinventionofmyown,andthatIhadofficiallyorderedthateveryshopkeeperinthekingdomkeepthemonhandandsellthematgovernmentprice——whichwasthemeresttrifle,andtheshopkeepergotthat,notthegovernment.Wefurnishedthemfornothing.
Thekinghadhardlymisseduswhenwegotbackatnightfall.HehadearlydroppedagainintohisdreamofagrandinvasionofGaulwiththewholestrengthofhiskingdomathisback,andtheafternoonhadslippedawaywithouthisevercomingtohimselfagain.
AConnecticutYankeeinKingArthur\'sCourt-Chapter32Chapter32-Dowley\'sHumiliationWELL,whenthatcargoarrivedtowardsunset,Saturdayafternoon,IhadmyhandsfulltokeeptheMarcosfromfainting.TheyweresureJonesandIwereruinedpasthelp,andtheyblamedthemselvesasaccessoriestothisbankruptcy.Yousee,inadditiontothedinner-materials,whichcalledforasufficientlyroundsum,Ihadboughtalotofextrasforthefuturecomfortofthefamily:forinstance,abiglotofwheat,adelicacyasraretothetablesoftheirclassaswasice-creamtoahermit\'s;alsoasizeabledealdinner-table;alsotwoentirepoundsofsalt,whichwasanotherpieceofextravaganceinthosepeople\'seyes;alsocrockery,stools,theclothes,asmallcaskofbeer,andsoon.IinstructedtheMarcostokeepquietaboutthissumptuousness,soastogivemeachancetosurprisetheguestsandshowoffalittle.Concerningthenewclothes,thesimplecouplewerelikechildren;theywereupanddown,allnight,toseeifitwasn\'tnearlydaylight,sothattheycouldputthemon,andtheywereintothematlastasmuchasanhourbeforedawnwasdue.Thentheirpleasure——nottosaydelirium——wassofreshandnovelandinspiringthatthesightofitpaidmewellfortheinterruptionswhichmysleephadsuffered.
Thekinghadsleptjustasusual——likethedead.TheMarcoscouldnotthankhimfortheirclothes,thatbeingforbidden;buttheytriedeverywaytheycouldthinkoftomakehimseehowgratefultheywere.Whichallwentfornothing:hedidn\'tnoticeanychange.
ItturnedouttobeoneofthoserichandrarefalldayswhichisjustaJunedaytoneddowntoadegreewhereitisheaventobeoutofdoors.
Towardnoontheguestsarrived,andweassembledunderagreattreeandweresoonassociableasoldacquaintances.Eventheking\'sreservemeltedalittle,thoughitwassomelittletroubletohimtoadjusthimselftothenameofJonesalongatfirst.Ihadaskedhimtotrytonotforgetthathewasafarmer;butIhadalsoconsidereditprudenttoaskhimtoletthethingstandatthat,andnotelaborateitany.Becausehewasjustthekindofpersonyoucoulddependontospoilalittlethinglikethatifyoudidn\'twarnhim,histonguewassohandy,andhisspiritsowilling,andhisinformationsouncertain.
Dowleywasinfinefeather,andIearlygothimstarted,andthenadroitlyworkedhimaroundontohisownhistoryforatextandhimselfforahero,andthenitwasgoodtositthereandhearhimhum.Self-mademan,youknow.Theyknowhowtotalk.Theydodeservemorecreditthananyotherbreedofmen,yes,thatistrue;andtheyareamongtheveryfirsttofinditout,too.Hetoldhowhehadbegunlifeanorphanladwithoutmoneyandwithoutfriendsabletohelphim;howhehadlivedastheslavesofthemeanestmasterlived;howhisday\'sworkwasfromsixteentoeighteenhourslong,andyieldedhimonlyenoughblackbreadtokeephiminahalf-fedcondition;howhisfaithfulendeavorsfinallyattractedtheattentionofagoodblacksmith,whocamenearknockinghimdeadwithkindnessbysuddenlyoffering,whenhewastotallyunprepared,totakehimashisboundapprenticefornineyearsandgivehimboardandclothesandteachhimthetrade——
or\"mystery\"asDowleycalledit.Thatwashisfirstgreatrise,hisfirstgorgeousstrokeoffortune;andyousawthathecouldn\'tyetspeakofitwithoutasortofeloquentwonderanddelightthatsuchagildedpromotionshouldhavefallentothelotofacommonhumanbeing.Hegotnonewclothingduringhisapprenticeship,butonhisgraduationdayhismastertrickedhimoutinspang-newtow-linensandmadehimfeelunspeakablyrichandfine.
\"Iremembermeofthatday!\"thewheelwrightsangout,withenthusiasm.
\"AndIlikewise!\"criedthemason.\"Iwouldnotbelievetheywerethineown;infaithIcouldnot.\"
\"Norother!\"shoutedDowley,withsparklingeyes.\"Iwasliketolosemycharacter,theneighborswendingIhadmayhapbeenstealing.Itwasagreatday,agreatday;oneforgettethnotdayslikethat.\"
Yes,andhismasterwasafineman,andprosperous,andalwayshadagreatfeastofmeattwiceintheyear,andwithitwhitebread,truewheatenbread;infact,livedlikealord,sotospeak.AndintimeDowleysucceededtothebusinessandmarriedthedaughter.
\"Andnowconsiderwhatiscometopass,\"saidhe,impressively.\"Twotimesineverymonththereisfreshmeatuponmytable.\"Hemadeapausehere,toletthatfactsinkhome,thenadded——\"andeighttimessaltmeat.\"
\"Itiseventrue,\"saidthewheelwright,withbatedbreath.
\"Iknowitofmineownknowledge,\"saidthemason,inthesamereverentfashion.
\"OnmytableappearethwhitebreadeverySundayintheyear,\"addedthemastersmith,withsolemnity.\"Ileaveittoyourownconsciences,friends,ifthisisnotalsotrue?\"
\"Bymyhead,yes,\"criedthemason.
\"Icantestifyit——andIdo,\"saidthewheelwright.
\"Andastofurniture,yeshallsayyourselveswhatmineequipmentis.
\"Hewavedhishandinfinegestureofgrantingfrankandunhamperedfreedomofspeech,andadded:\"Speakasyearemoved;speakasyewouldspeak;
anIwerenothere.\"
\"Yehavefivestools,andofthesweetestworkmanshipatthat,albeityourfamilyisbutthree,\"saidthewheelwright,withdeeprespect.
\"Andsixwoodengoblets,andsixplattersofwoodandtwoofpewtertocatanddrinkfromwithal,\"saidthemason,impressively.\"AndIsayitasknowingGodismyjudge,andwetarrynotherealway,butmustansweratthelastdayforthethingssaidinthebody,betheyfalseorbetheysooth.\"
\"NowyeknowwhatmannerofmanIam,brotherJones,\"saidthesmith,withafineandfriendlycondescension,\"anddoubtlessyewouldlooktofindmeamanjealousofhisdueofrespectandbutsparingofoutgotostrangerstilltheirratingandqualitybeassured,buttroubleyourselfnot,asconcerningthat;wityewellyeshallfindmeamanthatregardethnotthesemattersbutiswillingtoreceiveanyheashisfellowandequalthatcarrietharightheartinhisbody,behisworldlyestatehowsoevermodest.Andintokenofit,hereismyhand;andIsaywithmyownmouthweareequals——equals\"——andhesmiledaroundonthecompanywiththesatisfactionofagodwhoisdoingthehandsomeandgraciousthingandisquitewellawareofit.
Thekingtookthehandwithapoorlydisguisedreluctance,andletgoofitaswillinglyasaladyletsgoofafish;allofwhichhadagoodeffect,foritwasmistakenforanembarrassmentnaturaltoonewhowasbeingcalleduponbygreatness.
Thedamebroughtoutthetablenow,andsetitunderthetree.Itcausedavisiblestirofsurprise,itbeingbrandnewandasumptuousarticleofdeal.Butthesurpriserosehigherstillwhenthedame,withabodyoozingeasyindifferenceateverypore,buteyesthatgaveitallawaybyabsolutelyflamingwithvanity,slowlyunfoldedanactualsimon-puretableclothandspreadit.Thatwasanotchaboveeventheblacksmith\'sdomesticgrandeurs,andithithimhard;youcouldseeit.ButMarcowasinParadise;youcouldseethat,too.Thenthedamebroughttwofinenewstools——whew!thatwasasensation;itwasvisibleintheeyesofeveryguest.Thenshebroughttwomore——ascalmlyasshecould.Sensationagain——withawedmurmurs.Againshebroughttwo——walkingonair,shewassoproud.Theguestswerepetrified,andthemasonmuttered:
\"Thereisthataboutearthlypompswhichdothevermovetoreverence.\"
Asthedameturnedaway,Marcocouldn\'thelpslappingontheclimaxwhilethethingwashot;sohesaidwithwhatwasmeantforalanguidcomposurebutwasapoorimitationofit:
\"Thesesuffice;leavetherest.\"
Sothereweremoreyet!Itwasafineeffect.Icouldn\'thaveplayedthehandbettermyself.
Fromthisout,themadampiledupthesurpriseswitharushthatfiredthegeneralastonishmentuptoahundredandfiftyintheshade,andatthesametimeparalyzedexpressionofitdowntogasped\"Oh\'s\"and\"Ah\'s,\"
andmuteupliftingsofhandsandeyes.Shefetchedcrockery——new,andplentyofit;newwoodengobletsandothertablefurniture;andbeer,fish,chicken,agoose,eggs,roastbeef,roastmutton,aham,asmallroastpig,andawealthofgenuinewhitewheatenbread.Takeitbyandlarge,thatspreadlaideverythingfarandawayintheshadethateverthatcrowdhadseenbefore.Andwhiletheysattherejustsimplystupefiedwithwonderandawe,Isortofwavedmyhandasifbyaccident,andthestorekeeper\'ssonemergedfromspaceandsaidhehadcometocollect.
\"That\'sallright,\"Isaid,indifferently.\"Whatistheamount?giveustheitems.\"
Thenhereadoffthisbill,whilethosethreeamazedmenlistened,andserenewavesofsatisfactionrolledovermysoulandalternatewavesofterrorandadmirationsurgedoverMarco\'s:2poundssalt200
8dozenpintsbeer,inthewood800
3bushelswheat2,700
2poundsfish100
3hens400
1goose400
3dozeneggs150
1roastofbeef450
1roastofmutton400
1ham800
1suckingpig500
2crockerydinnersets6,000
2men\'ssuitsandunderwear2,800
1stuffand1linsey-woolseygownandunderwear1,600
8woodengoblets800
Varioustablefurniture10,000
1dealtable3,000
8stools4,000
2millerguns,loaded3,000Heceased.Therewasapaleandawfulsilence.Notalimbstirred.Notanostrilbetrayedthepassageofbreath.
\"Isthatall?\"Iasked,inavoiceofthemostperfectcalmness.
\"All,fairsir,savethatcertainmattersoflightmomentareplacedtogetherunderaheadhightsundries.Ifitwouldlikeyou,Iwillsepa——\"
\"Itisofnoconsequence,\"Isaid,accompanyingthewordswithagestureofthemostutterindifference;\"givemethegrandtotal,please.\"
Theclerkleanedagainstthetreetostayhimself,andsaid:
\"Thirty-ninethousandonehundredandfiftymilrays!\"
Thewheelwrightfelloffhisstool,theothersgrabbedthetabletosavethemselves,andtherewasadeepandgeneralejaculationof:
\"Godbewithusinthedayofdisaster!\"
Theclerkhastenedtosay:
\"Myfatherchargethmetosayhecannothonorablyrequireyoutopayitallatthistime,andthereforeonlyprayethyou——\"
Ipaidnomoreheedthanifitweretheidlebreeze,but,withanairofindifferenceamountingalmosttoweariness,gotoutmymoneyandtossedfourdollarsontothetable.Ah,youshouldhaveseenthemstare!
Theclerkwasastonishedandcharmed.Heaskedmetoretainoneofthedollarsassecurity,untilhecouldgototownand——Iinterrupted:
\"What,andfetchbackninecents?Nonsense!Takethewhole.Keepthechange.\"
Therewasanamazedmurmurtothiseffect:
\"VerilythisbeingisMADEofmoney!Hethrowethitawayevenasifitweredirt.\"
Theblacksmithwasacrushedman.
Theclerktookhismoneyandreeledawaydrunkwithfortune.IsaidtoMarcoandhiswife:
\"Goodfolk,hereisalittletrifleforyou\"——handingthemiller-gunsasifitwereamatterofnoconsequence,thougheachofthemcontainedfifteencentsinsolidcash;andwhilethepoorcreatureswenttopieceswithastonishmentandgratitude,Iturnedtotheothersandsaidascalmlyasonewouldaskthetimeofday:
\"Well,ifweareallready,Ijudgethedinneris.Come,fallto.\"
Ah,well,itwasimmense;yes,itwasadaisy.Idon\'tknowthatIeverputasituationtogetherbetter,orgothappierspectaculareffectsoutofthematerialsavailable.Theblacksmith——well,hewassimplymashed.
Land!Iwouldn\'thavefeltwhatthatmanwasfeeling,foranythingintheworld.Herehehadbeenblowingandbraggingabouthisgrandmeat-feasttwiceayear,andhisfreshmeattwiceamonth,andhissaltmeattwiceaweek,andhiswhitebreadeverySundaytheyearround——allforafamilyofthree;theentirecostfortheyearnotabove69.2.6sixty-ninecents,twomillsandsixmilrays,andallofasuddenherecomesalongamanwhoslashesoutnearlyfourdollarsonasingleblow-out;andnotonlythat,butactsasifitmadehimtiredtohandlesuchsmallsums.Yes,Dowleywasagooddealwilted,andshrunk-upandcollapsed;hehadtheaspectofabladder-balloonthat\'sbeensteppedonbyacow.
AConnecticutYankeeinKingArthur\'sCourt-Chapter33Chapter33-SixthCenturyPoliticalEconomyHOWEVER,Imadeadeadsetathim,andbeforethefirstthirdofthedinnerwasreached,Ihadhimhappyagain.Itwaseasytodo——inacountryofranksandcastes.Yousee,inacountrywheretheyhaveranksandcastes,amanisn\'teveraman,heisonlypartofaman,hecan\'tevergethisfullgrowth.Youproveyoursuperiorityoverhiminstation,orrank,orfortune,andthat\'stheendofit——heknucklesdown.Youcan\'tinsulthimafterthat.No,Idon\'tmeanquitethat;ofcourseyouCANinsulthim,Ionlymeanit\'sdifficult;andso,unlessyou\'vegotalotofuselesstimeonyourhandsitdoesn\'tpaytotry.Ihadthesmith\'sreverencenow,becauseIwasapparentlyimmenselyprosperousandrich;IcouldhavehadhisadorationifIhadhadsomelittlegimcracktitleofnobility.Andnotonlyhis,butanycommoner\'sintheland,thoughhewerethemightiestproductionofalltheages,inintellect,worth,andcharacter,andIbankruptinallthree.Thiswastoremainso,aslongasEnglandshouldexistintheearth.Withthespiritofprophecyuponme,IcouldlookintothefutureandseehererectstatuesandmonumentstoherunspeakableGeorgesandotherroyalandnobleclothes-horses,andleaveunhonoredthecreatorsofthisworld——afterGod——Gutenburg,Watt,Arkwright,Whitney,Morse,Stephenson,Bell.
Thekinggothiscargoaboard,andthen,thetalknotturninguponbattle,conquest,oriron-cladduel,hedulleddowntodrowsinessandwentofftotakeanap.Mrs.Marcoclearedthetable,placedthebeerkeghandy,andwentawaytoeatherdinnerofleavingsinhumbleprivacy,andtherestofussoondriftedintomattersnearanddeartotheheartsofoursort——businessandwages,ofcourse.Atafirstglance,thingsappearedtobeexceedingprosperousinthislittletributarykingdom——whoselordwasKingBagdemagus——ascomparedwiththestateofthingsinmyownregion.
Theyhadthe\"protection\"systeminfullforcehere,whereaswewereworkingalongdowntowardfree-trade,byeasystages,andwerenowabouthalfway.
Beforelong,DowleyandIweredoingallthetalking,theothershungrilylistening.Dowleywarmedtohiswork,snuffedanadvantageintheair,andbegantoputquestionswhichheconsideredprettyawkwardonesforme,andtheydidhavesomethingofthatlook:
\"Inyourcountry,brother,whatisthewageofamasterbailiff,masterhind,carter,shepherd,swineherd?\"
\"Twenty-fivemilraysaday;thatistosay,aquarterofacent.
Thesmith\'sfacebeamedwithjoy.Hesaid:
\"Withustheyareallowedthedoubleofit!Andwhatmayamechanicget——carpenter,dauber,mason,painter,blacksmith,wheelwright,andthelike?\"
\"Ontheaverage,fiftymilrays;halfacentaday.\"
\"Ho-ho!Withustheyareallowedahundred!Withusanygoodmechanicisallowedacentaday!Icountoutthetailor,butnottheothers——
theyareallallowedacentaday,andindrivingtimestheygetmore——
yes,uptoahundredandtenandevenfifteenmilraysaday.I\'vepaidahundredandfifteenmyself,withintheweek.\'Rahforprotection——toSheolwithfree-trade!\"
Andhisfaceshoneuponthecompanylikeasunburst.ButIdidn\'tscareatall.Iriggedupmypile-driver,andallowedmyselffifteenminutestodrivehimintotheearth——drivehimALLin——drivehimintillnoteventhecurveofhisskullshouldshowaboveground.HereisthewayI
startedinonhim.Iasked:
\"Whatdoyoupayapoundforsalt?\"
\"Ahundredmilrays.\"
\"Wepayforty.Whatdoyoupayforbeefandmutton——whenyoubuyit?\"
Thatwasaneathit;itmadethecolorcome.
\"Itvariethsomewhat,butnotmuch;onemaysay75milraysthepound.\"
\"WEpay33.Whatdoyoupayforeggs?\"
\"Fiftymilraysthedozen.\"