\"Oh,none.Onemayfail,ofcourse;andonemayalsosucceed.Onecantry,andIamreadytochanceit.Ihavemyconditions?\"
\"Theseandallothersyemayname.Iwillissuecommandmenttothateffect.\"
\"Wait,\"saidMerlin,withanevilsmile.\"Yewitthathethatwouldbreakthisspellmustknowthatspirit\'sname?\"
\"Yes,Iknowhisname.\"
\"Andwityoualsothattoknowitskillsnotofitself,butyemustlikewisepronounceit?Ha-ha!Knewyethat?\"
\"Yes,Iknewthat,too.\"
\"Youhadthatknowledge!Artafool?Areyemindedtoutterthatnameanddie?\"
\"Utterit?Whycertainly.IwouldutteritifitwasWelsh.\"
\"Yeareevenadeadman,then;andIgototellArthur.\"
\"That\'sallright.Takeyourgripsackandgetalong.ThethingforYOU
todoistogohomeandworktheweather,JohnW.Merlin.\"
Itwasahomeshot,anditmadehimwince;forhewastheworstweather-failureinthekingdom.Wheneverheorderedupthedanger-signalsalongthecoasttherewasaweek\'sdeadcalm,sure,andeverytimeheprophesiedfairweatheritrainedbrickbats.ButIkepthimintheweatherbureaurightalong,tounderminehisreputation.However,thatshotraisedhisbile,andinsteadofstartinghometoreportmydeath,hesaidhewouldremainandenjoyit.
Mytwoexpertsarrivedintheevening,andprettywellfagged,fortheyhadtraveleddoubletides.Theyhadpack-mulesalong,andhadbroughteverythingIneeded——tools,pump,leadpipe,Greekfire,sheavesofbigrockets,romancandles,coloredfiresprays,electricapparatus,andalotofsundries——everythingnecessaryforthestateliestkindofamiracle.Theygottheirsupperandanap,andaboutmidnightwesalliedoutthroughasolitudesowhollyvacantandcompletethatitquiteoverpassedtherequiredconditions.
Wetookpossessionofthewellanditssurroundings.Myboyswereexpertsinallsortsofthings,fromthestoningupofawelltotheconstructingofamathematicalinstrument.Anhourbeforesunrisewehadthatleakmendedinship-shapefashion,andthewaterbegantorise.Thenwestowedourfireworksinthechapel,lockeduptheplace,andwenthometobed.
Beforethenoonmasswasover,wewereatthewellagain;fortherewasadealtodoyet,andIwasdeterminedtospringthemiraclebeforemidnight,forbusinessreasons:forwhereasamiracleworkedfortheChurchonaweek-dayisworthagooddeal,itisworthsixtimesasmuchifyougetitinonaSunday.Inninehoursthewaterhadrisentoitscustomarylevel——thatistosay,itwaswithintwenty-threefeetofthetop.Weputinalittleironpump,oneofthefirstturnedoutbymyworksnearthecapital;weboredintoastonereservoirwhichstoodagainsttheouterwallofthewell-chamberandinsertedasectionofleadpipethatwaslongenoughtoreachtothedoorofthechapelandprojectbeyondthethreshold,wherethegushingwaterwouldbevisibletothetwohundredandfiftyacresofpeopleIwasintendingshouldbepresentontheflatplaininfrontofthislittleholyhillockatthepropertime.
Weknockedtheheadoutofanemptyhogsheadandhoistedthishogsheadtotheflatroofofthechapel,whereweclampeditdownfast,pouredingunpowdertillitlaylooselyaninchdeeponthebottom,thenwestooduprocketsinthehogsheadasthickastheycouldlooselystand,allthedifferentbreedsofrocketsthereare;andtheymadeaportlyandimposingsheaf,Icantellyou.Wegroundedthewireofapocketelectricalbatteryinthatpowder,weplacedawholemagazineofGreekfireoneachcorneroftheroof——blueononecorner,greenonanother,redonanother,andpurpleonthelast——andgroundedawireineach.
Abouttwohundredyardsoff,intheflat,webuiltapenofscantlings,aboutfourfeethigh,andlaidplanksonit,andsomadeaplatform.Wecovereditwithswelltapestriesborrowedfortheoccasion,andtoppeditoffwiththeabbot\'sownthrone.Whenyouaregoingtodoamiracleforanignorantrace,youwanttogetineverydetailthatwillcount;
youwanttomakeallthepropertiesimpressivetothepubliceye;youwanttomakematterscomfortableforyourheadguest;thenyoucanturnyourselflooseandplayyoureffectsforalltheyareworth.Iknowthevalueofthesethings,forIknowhumannature.Youcan\'tthrowtoomuchstyleintoamiracle.Itcoststrouble,andwork,andsometimesmoney;butitpaysintheend.Well,webroughtthewirestothegroundatthechapel,andthenbroughtthemunderthegroundtotheplatform,andhidthebatteriesthere.Weputaropefenceahundredfeetsquarearoundtheplatformtokeepoffthecommonmultitude,andthatfinishedthework.Myideawas,doorsopenat10:30,performancetobeginat11:25sharp.IwishedIcouldchargeadmission,butofcoursethatwouldn\'tanswer.Iinstructedmyboystobeinthechapelasearlyas10,beforeanybodywasaround,andbereadytomanthepumpsatthepropertime,andmakethefurfly.Thenwewenthometosupper.
Thenewsofthedisastertothewellhadtraveledfarbythistime;
andnowfortwoorthreedaysasteadyavalancheofpeoplehadbeenpouringintothevalley.Thelowerendofthevalleywasbecomeonehugecamp;
weshouldhaveagoodhouse,noquestionaboutthat.Crierswenttheroundsearlyintheeveningandannouncedthecomingattempt,whichputeverypulseuptofeverheat.Theygavenoticethattheabbotandhisofficialsuitewouldmoveinstateandoccupytheplatformat10:30,uptowhichtimealltheregionwhichwasundermybanmustbeclear;thebellswouldthenceasefromtolling,andthissignshouldbepermissiontothemultitudestocloseinandtaketheirplaces.
Iwasattheplatformandallreadytodothehonorswhentheabbot\'ssolemnprocessionhoveinsight——whichitdidnotdotillitwasnearlytotheropefence,becauseitwasastarlessblacknightandnotorchespermitted.WithitcameMerlin,andtookafrontseatontheplatform;
hewasasgoodashiswordforonce.Onecouldnotseethemultitudesbankedtogetherbeyondtheban,buttheywerethere,justthesame.Themomentthebellsstopped,thosebankedmassesbrokeandpouredoverthelinelikeavastblackwave,andforasmuchasahalfhouritcontinuedtoflow,andthenitsolidifieditself,andyoucouldhavewalkeduponapavementofhumanheadsto——well,miles.
Wehadasolemnstage-wait,now,forabouttwentyminutes——athingIhadcountedonforeffect;itisalwaysgoodtoletyouraudiencehaveachancetoworkupitsexpectancy.Atlength,outofthesilenceanobleLatinchant——men\'svoices——brokeandswelledupandrolledawayintothenight,amajestictideofmelody.Ihadputthatup,too,anditwasoneofthebesteffectsIeverinvented.WhenitwasfinishedIstoodupontheplatformandextendedmyhandsabroad,fortwominutes,withmyfaceuplifted——thatalwaysproducesadeadhush——andthenslowlypronouncedthisghastlywordwithakindofawfulnesswhichcausedhundredstotremble,andmanywomentofaint:
\"Constantinopolitanischerdudelsackspfeifenmachersgesellschafft!\"
JustasIwasmoaningouttheclosinghunksofthatword,Itouchedoffoneofmyelectricconnectionsandallthatmurkyworldofpeoplestoodrevealedinahideousblueglare!Itwasimmense——thateffect!Lotsofpeopleshrieked,womencurledupandquitineverydirection,foundlingscollapsedbyplatoons.Theabbotandthemonkscrossedthemselvesnimblyandtheirlipsflutteredwithagitatedprayers.Merlinheldhisgrip,buthewasastonishedcleardowntohiscorns;hehadneverseenanythingtobeginwiththat,before.Nowwasthetimetopileintheeffects.Iliftedmyhandsandgroanedoutthisword——asitwereinagony:
\"Nihilistendynamittheaterkaestchenssprengungsattentaetsversuchungen!\"——
andturnedontheredfire!YoushouldhaveheardthatAtlanticofpeoplemoanandhowlwhenthatcrimsonhelljoinedtheblue!AftersixtysecondsIshouted:
\"Transvaaltruppentropentransporttrampelthiertreibertrauungsthraenentragoedie!\"——
andlitupthegreenfire!Afterwaitingonlyfortysecondsthistime,Ispreadmyarmsabroadandthunderedoutthedevastatingsyllablesofthiswordofwords:
\"Mekkamuselmannenmassenmenchenmoerdermohrenmuttermarmormonumentenmacher!\"——
andwhirledonthepurpleglare!Theretheywere,allgoingatonce,red,blue,green,purple!——fourfuriousvolcanoespouringvastcloudsofradiantsmokealoft,andspreadingablindingrainbowednoondaytothefurthestconfinesofthatvalley.Inthedistanceonecouldseethatfellowonthepillarstandingrigidagainstthebackgroundofsky,hisseesawstoppedforthefirsttimeintwentyyears.Iknewtheboyswereatthepumpnowandready.SoIsaidtotheabbot:
\"Thetimeiscome,Father.Iamabouttopronouncethedreadnameandcommandthespelltodissolve.Youwanttobraceup,andtakeholdofsomething.\"
ThenIshoutedtothepeople:\"Behold,inanotherminutethespellwillbebroken,ornomortalcanbreakit.Ifitbreak,allwillknowit,foryouwillseethesacredwatergushfromthechapeldoor!\"
Istoodafewmoments,toletthehearershaveachancetospreadmyannouncementtothosewhocouldn\'thear,andsoconveyittothefurthestranks,thenImadeagrandexhibitionofextraposturingandgesturing,andshouted:
\"Lo,Icommandthefellspiritthatpossessestheholyfountaintonowdisgorgeintotheskiesalltheinfernalfiresthatstillremaininhim,andstraightwaydissolvehisspellandfleehencetothepit,theretolieboundathousandyears.ByhisowndreadnameIcommandit——BGWJJILLIGKKK!\"
ThenItouchedoffthehogsheadofrockets,andavastfountainofdazzlinglancesoffirevomiteditselftowardthezenithwithahissingrush,andburstinmid-skyintoastormofflashingjewels!Onemightygroanofterrorstartedupfromthemassedpeople——thensuddenlybrokeintoawildhosannahofjoy——forthere,fairandplainintheuncannyglare,theysawthefreedwaterleapingforth!Theoldabbotcouldnotspeakaword,fortearsandthechokingsinhisthroat;withoututteranceofanysort,hefoldedmeinhisarmsandmashedme.Itwasmoreeloquentthanspeech.Andhardertogetover,too,inacountrywheretherewerereallynodoctorsthatwereworthadamagednickel.
Youshouldhaveseenthoseacresofpeoplethrowthemselvesdowninthatwaterandkissit;kissit,andpetit,andfondleit,andtalktoitasifitwerealive,andwelcomeitbackwiththedearnamestheygavetheirdarlings,justasifithadbeenafriendwhowaslonggoneawayandlost,andwascomehomeagain.Yes,itwasprettytosee,andmademethinkmoreofthemthanIhaddonebefore.
IsentMerlinhomeonashutter.HehadcavedinandgonedownlikealandslidewhenIpronouncedthatfearfulname,andhadnevercometosince.Heneverhadheardthatnamebefore,——neitherhadI——buttohimitwastherightone.Anyjumblewouldhavebeentherightone.Headmitted,afterward,thatthatspirit\'sownmothercouldnothavepronouncedthatnamebetterthanIdid.HenevercouldunderstandhowIsurvivedit,andIdidn\'ttellhim.Itisonlyyoungmagiciansthatgiveawayasecretlikethat.Merlinspentthreemonthsworkingenchantmentstotrytofindoutthedeeptrickofhowtopronouncethatnameandoutliveit.Buthedidn\'tarrive.
WhenIstartedtothechapel,thepopulaceuncoveredandfellbackreverentlytomakeawidewayforme,asifIhadbeensomekindofasuperiorbeing——andIwas.Iwasawareofthat.Itookalonganightshiftofmonks,andtaughtthemthemysteryofthepump,andsetthemtowork,foritwasplainthatagoodpartofthepeopleoutthereweregoingtositupwiththewaterallnight,consequentlyitwasbutrightthattheyshouldhavealltheywantedofit.Tothosemonksthatpumpwasagooddealofamiracleitself,andtheywerefullofwonderoverit;andofadmiration,too,oftheexceedingeffectivenessofitsperformance.
Itwasagreatnight,animmensenight.Therewasreputationinit.
Icouldhardlygettosleepforgloryingoverit.
AConnecticutYankeeinKingArthur\'sCourt-Chapter24Chapter24-ARivalMagicianMYinfluenceintheValleyofHolinesswassomethingprodigiousnow.Itseemedworthwhiletotrytoturnittosomevaluableaccount.Thethoughtcametomethenextmorning,andwassuggestedbymyseeingoneofmyknightswhowasinthesoaplinecomeridingin.Accordingtohistory,themonksofthisplacetwocenturiesbeforehadbeenworldlymindedenoughtowanttowash.Itmightbethattherewasaleavenofthisunrighteousnessstillremaining.SoIsoundedaBrother:
\"Wouldn\'tyoulikeabath?\"
Heshudderedatthethought——thethoughtoftheperilofittothewell——buthesaidwithfeeling:
\"Oneneedsnottoaskthatofapoorbodywhohasnotknownthatblessedrefreshmentsiththathewasaboy.WouldGodImightwashme!butitmaynotbe,fairsir,temptmenot;itisforbidden.\"
AndthenhesighedinsuchasorrowfulwaythatIwasresolvedheshouldhaveatleastonelayerofhisrealestateremoved,ifitsizedupmywholeinfluenceandbankruptedthepile.SoIwenttotheabbotandaskedforapermitforthisBrother.Heblenchedattheidea——Idon\'tmeanthatyoucouldseehimblench,forofcourseyoucouldn\'tseeitwithoutyouscrapedhim,andIdidn\'tcareenoughaboutittoscrapehim,butIknewtheblenchwasthere,justthesame,andwithinabook-cover\'sthicknessofthesurface,too——blenched,andtrembled.Hesaid:
\"Ah,son,askaughtelsethouwilt,anditisthine,andfreelygrantedoutofagratefulheart——butthis,oh,this!Wouldyoudriveawaytheblessedwateragain?\"
\"No,Father,Iwillnotdriveitaway.Ihavemysteriousknowledgewhichteachesmethattherewasanerrorthatothertimewhenitwasthoughttheinstitutionofthebathbanishedthefountain.\"Alargeinterestbegantoshowupintheoldman\'sface.\"Myknowledgeinformsmethatthebathwasinnocentofthatmisfortune,whichwascausedbyquiteanothersortofsin.\"
\"Thesearebravewords——but——butrightwelcome,iftheybetrue.\"
\"Theyaretrue,indeed.Letmebuildthebathagain,Father.Letmebuilditagain,andthefountainshallflowforever.\"
\"Youpromisethis?——youpromiseit?Saytheword——sayyoupromiseit!\"
\"Idopromiseit.\"
\"ThenwillIhavethefirstbathmyself!Go——getyetoyourwork.
Tarrynot,tarrynot,butgo.\"
Iandmyboyswereatwork,straightoff.Theruinsoftheoldbathwerethereyetinthebasementofthemonastery,notastonemissing.Theyhadbeenleftjustso,alltheselifetimes,andavoidedwithapiousfear,asthingsaccursed.Intwodayswehaditalldoneandthewaterin——
aspaciouspoolofclearpurewaterthatabodycouldswimin.Itwasrunningwater,too.Itcamein,andwentout,throughtheancientpipes.Theoldabbotkepthisword,andwasthefirsttotryit.Hewentdownblackandshaky,leavingthewholeblackcommunityabovetroubledandworriedandfullofbodings;buthecamebackwhiteandjoyful,andthegamewasmade!
anothertriumphscored.
ItwasagoodcampaignthatwemadeinthatValleyofHoliness,andIwasverywellsatisfied,andreadytomoveonnow,butIstruckadisappointment.
Icaughtaheavycold,anditstartedupanoldlurkingrheumatismofmine.
Ofcoursetherheumatismhuntedupmyweakestplaceandlocateditselfthere.Thiswastheplacewheretheabbotputhisarmsaboutmeandmashedme,whattimehewasmovedtotestifyhisgratitudetomewithanembrace.
WhenatlastIgotout,Iwasashadow.Buteverybodywasfullofattentionsandkindnesses,andthesebroughtcheerbackintomylife,andweretherightmedicinetohelpaconvalescentswiftlyuptowardhealthandstrengthagain;soIgainedfast.
Sandywaswornoutwithnursing;soImadeupmymindtoturnoutandgoacruisealone,leavingheratthenunnerytorestup.Myideawastodisguisemyselfasafreemanofpeasantdegreeandwanderthroughthecountryaweekortwoonfoot.Thiswouldgivemeachancetoeatandlodgewiththelowliestandpoorestclassoffreecitizensonequalterms.Therewasnootherwaytoinformmyselfperfectlyoftheireverydaylifeandtheoperationofthelawsuponit.IfIwentamongthemasagentleman,therewouldberestraintsandconventionalitieswhichwouldshutmeoutfromtheirprivatejoysandtroubles,andIshouldgetnofurtherthantheoutsideshell.
OnemorningIwasoutonalongwalktogetupmuscleformytrip,andhadclimbedtheridgewhichborderedthenorthernextremityofthevalley,whenIcameuponanartificialopeninginthefaceofalowprecipice,andrecognizeditbyitslocationasahermitagewhichhadoftenbeenpointedouttomefromadistanceasthedenofahermitofhighrenownfordirtandausterity.IknewhehadlatelybeenofferedasituationintheGreatSahara,wherelionsandsandfliesmadethehermit-lifepeculiarlyattractiveanddifficult,andhadgonetoAfricatotakepossession,soIthoughtIwouldlookinandseehowtheatmosphereofthisdenagreedwithitsreputation.
Mysurprisewasgreat:theplacewasnewlysweptandscoured.Thentherewasanothersurprise.BackinthegloomofthecavernIheardtheclinkofalittlebell,andthenthisexclamation:
\"HelloCentral!Isthisyou,Camelot?——Behold,thoumaystgladthyheartanthouhastfaithtobelievethewonderfulwhenthatitcomethinunexpectedguiseandmakethitselfmanifestinimpossibleplaces——herestandethinthefleshhismightinessTheBoss,andwiththineownearsshallyehearhimspeak!\"
Nowwhataradicalreversalofthingsthiswas;whatajumblingtogetherofextravagantincongruities;whatafantasticconjunctionofoppositesandirreconcilables——thehomeofthebogusmiraclebecomethehomeofarealone,thedenofamediaevalhermitturnedintoatelephoneoffice!
Thetelephoneclerksteppedintothelight,andIrecognizedoneofmyyoungfellows.Isaid:
\"Howlonghasthisofficebeenestablishedhere,Ulfius?\"
\"Butsincemidnight,fairSirBoss,anitpleaseyou.Wesawmanylightsinthevalley,andsojudgeditwelltomakeastation,forthatwheresomanylightsbeneedsmusttheyindicateatownofgoodlysize.\"
\"Quiteright.Itisn\'tatowninthecustomarysense,butit\'sagoodstand,anyway.Doyouknowwhereyouare?\"
\"OfthatIhavehadnotimetomakeinquiry;forwhenasmycomradeshipmovedhenceupontheirlabors,leavingmeincharge,Igotmetoneededrest,purposingtoinquirewhenIwaked,andreporttheplace\'snametoCamelotforrecord.\"
\"Well,thisistheValleyofHoliness.\"
Itdidn\'ttake;Imean,hedidn\'tstartatthename,asIhadsupposedhewould.Hemerelysaid:
\"Iwillsoreportit.\"
\"Why,thesurroundingregionsarefilledwiththenoiseoflatewondersthathavehappenedhere!Youdidn\'thearofthem?\"
\"Ah,yewillrememberwemovebynight,andavoidspeechwithall.WelearnnaughtbutthatwegetbythetelephonefromCamelot.\"
\"WhyTHEYknowallaboutthisthing.Haven\'ttheytoldyouanythingaboutthegreatmiracleoftherestorationofaholyfountain?\"
\"Oh,THAT?Indeedyes.ButthenameofTHISvalleydothwoundilydifferfromthenameofTHATone;indeedtodifferwiderwerenotpos——\"
\"Whatwasthatname,then?\"
\"TheValleyofHellishness.\"
\"THATexplainsit.Confoundatelephone,anyway.Itistheverydemonforconveyingsimilaritiesofsoundthataremiraclesofdivergencefromsimilarityofsense.Butnomatter,youknowthenameoftheplacenow.
CallupCamelot.\"
Hedidit,andhadClarencesentfor.Itwasgoodtohearmyboy\'svoiceagain.Itwaslikebeinghome.Aftersomeaffectionateinterchanges,andsomeaccountofmylateillness,Isaid:
\"Whatisnew?\"
\"Thekingandqueenandmanyofthecourtdostarteveninthishour,togotoyourvalleytopaypioushomagetothewatersyehaverestored,andcleansethemselvesofsin,andseetheplacewheretheinfernalspiritspoutedtruehell-flamestotheclouds——anyelistensharplyyemayhearmewinkandhearmelikewisesmileasmile,sith\'twasIthatmadeselectionofthoseflamesfromoutourstockandsentthembyyourorder.\"
\"Doesthekingknowthewaytothisplace?\"
\"Theking?——no,nortoanyotherinhisrealms,mayhap;buttheladsthatholpyouwithyourmiraclewillbehisguideandleadtheway,andappointtheplacesforrestsatnoonsandsleepsatnight.\"
\"Thiswillbringthemhere——when?\"
\"Mid-afternoon,orlater,thethirdday.\"
\"Anythingelseinthewayofnews?\"
\"Thekinghathbeguntheraisingofthestandingarmyyesuggestedtohim;oneregimentiscompleteandofficered.\"
\"Themischief!Iwantedamainhandinthatmyself.Thereisonlyonebodyofmeninthekingdomthatarefittedtoofficeraregulararmy.\"
\"Yes——andnowyewillmarveltoknowthere\'snotsomuchasoneWestPointerinthatregiment.\"
\"Whatareyoutalkingabout?Areyouinearnest?\"
\"ItistrulyasIhavesaid.\"
\"Why,thismakesmeuneasy.Whowerechosen,andwhatwasthemethod?
Competitiveexamination?\"
\"Indeed,Iknownaughtofthemethod.Ibutknowthis——theseofficersbeallofnoblefamily,andareborn——whatisityoucallit?——chuckleheads.\"
\"There\'ssomethingwrong,Clarence.\"
\"Comfortyourself,then;fortwocandidatesforalieutenancydotravelhencewiththeking——youngnoblesboth——andifyoubutwaitwhereyouareyouwillhearthemquestioned.\"
\"Thatisnewstothepurpose.IwillgetoneWestPointerin,anyway.
Mountamanandsendhimtothatschoolwithamessage;lethimkillhorses,ifnecessary,buthemustbetherebeforesunsetto-nightandsay——\"
\"Thereisnoneed.Ihavelaidagroundwiretotheschool.Pritheeletmeconnectyouwithit.\"
Itsoundedgood!Inthisatmosphereoftelephonesandlightningcommunicationwithdistantregions,Iwasbreathingthebreathoflifeagainafterlongsuffocation.Irealized,then,whatacreepy,dull,inanimatehorrorthislandhadbeentomealltheseyears,andhowIhadbeeninsuchastifledconditionofmindastohavegrownusedtoitalmostbeyondthepowertonoticeit.
IgavemyordertothesuperintendentoftheAcademypersonally.Ialsoaskedhimtobringmesomepaperandafountainpenandaboxorsoofsafetymatches.Iwasgettingtiredofdoingwithouttheseconveniences.
Icouldhavethemnow,asIwasn\'tgoingtoweararmoranymoreatpresent,andthereforecouldgetatmypockets.
WhenIgotbacktothemonastery,Ifoundathingofinterestgoingon.Theabbotandhismonkswereassembledinthegreathall,observingwithchildishwonderandfaiththeperformancesofanewmagician,afresharrival.Hisdresswastheextremeofthefantastic;asshowyandfoolishasthesortofthinganIndianmedicine-manwears.Hewasmowing,andmumbling,andgesticulating,anddrawingmysticalfiguresintheairandonthefloor,——theregularthing,youknow.HewasacelebrityfromAsia——sohesaid,andthatwasenough.Thatsortofevidencewasasgoodasgold,andpassedcurrenteverywhere.
Howeasyandcheapitwastobeagreatmagicianonthisfellow\'sterms.
Hisspecialtywastotellyouwhatanyindividualonthefaceoftheglobewasdoingatthemoment;andwhathehaddoneatanytimeinthepast,andwhathewoulddoatanytimeinthefuture.HeaskedifanywouldliketoknowwhattheEmperoroftheEastwasdoingnow?Thesparklingeyesandthedelightedrubbingofhandsmadeeloquentanswer——thisreverendcrowdWOULDliketoknowwhatthatmonarchwasat,justasthismoment.
Thefraudwentthroughsomemoremummery,andthenmadegraveannouncement:
\"ThehighandmightyEmperoroftheEastdothatthismomentputmoneyinthepalmofaholybeggingfriar——one,two,threepieces,andtheybeallofsilver.\"
Abuzzofadmiringexclamationsbrokeout,allaround:
\"Itismarvelous!\"\"Wonderful!\"\"Whatstudy,whatlabor,tohaveacquiredasoamazingpowerasthis!\"
WouldtheyliketoknowwhattheSupremeLordofIndewasdoing?Yes.
HetoldthemwhattheSupremeLordofIndewasdoing.ThenhetoldthemwhattheSultanofEgyptwasat;alsowhattheKingoftheRemoteSeaswasabout.Andsoonandsoon;andwitheachnewmarveltheastonishmentathisaccuracyrosehigherandhigher.Theythoughthemustsurelystrikeanuncertainplacesometime;butno,heneverhadtohesitate,healwaysknew,andalwayswithunerringprecision.IsawthatifthisthingwentonIshouldlosemysupremacy,thisfellowwouldcapturemyfollowing,Ishouldbeleftoutinthecold.Imustputacoginhiswheel,anddoitrightaway,too.Isaid:
\"IfImightask,Ishouldverygreatlyliketoknowwhatacertainpersonisdoing.\"
\"Speak,andfreely.Iwilltellyou.\"
\"Itwillbedifficult——perhapsimpossible.\"
\"Myartknowethnotthatword.Themoredifficultitis,themorecertainlywillIrevealittoyou.\"
Yousee,Iwasworkinguptheinterest.Itwasgettingprettyhigh,too;youcouldseethatbythecraningnecksallaround,andthehalf-suspendedbreathing.SonowIclimaxedit:
\"Ifyoumakenomistake——ifyoutellmetrulywhatIwanttoknow——Iwillgiveyoutwohundredsilverpennies.\"
\"Thefortuneismine!Iwilltellyouwhatyouwouldknow.\"
\"ThentellmewhatIamdoingwithmyrighthand.\"
\"Ah-h!\"Therewasageneralgaspofsurprise.Ithadnotoccurredtoanybodyinthecrowd——thatsimpletrickofinquiringaboutsomebodywhowasn\'ttenthousandmilesaway.Themagicianwashithard;itwasanemergencythathadneverhappenedinhisexperiencebefore,anditcorkedhim;hedidn\'tknowhowtomeetit.Helookedstunned,confused;hecouldn\'tsayaword.\"Come,\"Isaid,\"whatareyouwaitingfor?Isitpossibleyoucananswerup,rightoff,andtellwhatanybodyontheothersideoftheearthisdoing,andyetcan\'ttellwhatapersonisdoingwhoisn\'tthreeyardsfromyou?PersonsbehindmeknowwhatIamdoingwithmyrighthand——
theywillindorseyouifyoutellcorrectly.\"Hewasstilldumb.\"Verywell,I\'lltellyouwhyyoudon\'tspeakupandtell;itisbecauseyoudon\'tknow.YOUamagician!Goodfriends,thistrampisamerefraudandliar.\"
Thisdistressedthemonksandterrifiedthem.Theywerenotusedtohearingtheseawfulbeingscallednames,andtheydidnotknowwhatmightbetheconsequence.Therewasadeadsilencenow;superstitiousbodingswereineverymind.Themagicianbegantopullhiswitstogether,andwhenhepresentlysmiledaneasy,nonchalantsmile,itspreadamightyreliefaround;foritindicatedthathismoodwasnotdestructive.Hesaid:
\"Ithathstruckmespeechless,thefrivolityofthisperson\'sspeech.
Letallknow,ifperchancetherebeanywhoknowitnot,thatenchantersofmydegreedeignnottoconcernthemselveswiththedoingsofanybutkings,princes,emperors,themthatbeborninthepurpleandthemonly.
HadyeaskedmewhatArthurthegreatkingisdoing,itwereanothermatter,andIhadtoldye;butthedoingsofasubjectinterestmenot.\"
\"Oh,Imisunderstoodyou.Ithoughtyousaid\'anybody,\'andsoIsupposed\'anybody\'included——well,anybody;thatis,everybody.\"
\"Itdoth——anybodythatisofloftybirth;andthebetterifheberoyal.\"
\"That,itmeseemeth,mightwellbe,\"saidtheabbot,whosawhisopportunitytosmooththingsandavertdisaster,\"foritwerenotlikelythatsowonderfulagiftasthiswouldbeconferredfortherevelationoftheconcernsoflesserbeingsthansuchasbebornneartothesummitsofgreatness.OurArthurtheking——\"
\"Wouldyouknowofhim?\"brokeintheenchanter.
\"Mostgladly,yea,andgratefully.\"
Everybodywasfullofaweandinterestagainrightaway,theincorrigibleidiots.Theywatchedtheincantationsabsorbingly,andlookedatmewitha\"There,now,whatcanyousaytothat?\"air,whentheannouncementcame:
\"Thekingiswearywiththechase,andliethinhispalacethesetwohourssleepingadreamlesssleep.\"
\"God\'sbenisonuponhim!\"saidtheabbot,andcrossedhimself;\"maythatsleepbetotherefreshmentofhisbodyandhissoul.\"
\"Andsoitmightbe,ifheweresleeping,\"Isaid,\"butthekingisnotsleeping,thekingrides.\"
Herewastroubleagain——aconflictofauthority.Nobodyknewwhichofustobelieve;Istillhadsomereputationleft.Themagician\'sscornwasstirred,andhesaid:
\"Lo,Ihaveseenmanywonderfulsoothsayersandprophetsandmagiciansinmylifedays,butnonebeforethatcouldsitidleandseetotheheartofthingswithneveranincantationtohelp.\"
\"Youhavelivedinthewoods,andlostmuchbyit.Iuseincantationsmyself,asthisgoodbrotherhoodareaware——butonlyonoccasionsofmoment.\"
Whenitcomestosarcasming,IreckonIknowhowtokeepmyendup.
Thatjabmadethisfellowsquirm.Theabbotinquiredafterthequeenandthecourt,andgotthisinformation:
\"Theybeallonsleep,beingovercomebyfatigue,likeastotheking.\"
Isaid:
\"Thatismerelyanotherlie.Halfofthemareabouttheiramusements,thequeenandtheotherhalfarenotsleeping,theyride.Nowperhapsyoucanspreadyourselfalittle,andtelluswherethekingandqueenandallthatarethismomentridingwiththemaregoing?\"
\"Theysleepnow,asIsaid;butonthemorrowtheywillride,fortheygoajourneytowardthesea.\"
\"Andwherewilltheybethedayafterto-morrowatvespers?\"
\"FartothenorthofCamelot,andhalftheirjourneywillbedone.\"
\"Thatisanotherlie,bythespaceofahundredandfiftymiles.Theirjourneywillnotbemerelyhalfdone,itwillbealldone,andtheywillbeHERE,inthisvalley.\"
THATwasanobleshot!Itsettheabbotandthemonksinawhirlofexcitement,anditrockedtheenchantertohisbase.Ifollowedthethingrightup:
\"Ifthekingdoesnotarrive,Iwillhavemyselfriddenonarail:ifhedoesIwillrideyouonarailinstead.\"
NextdayIwentuptothetelephoneofficeandfoundthatthekinghadpassedthroughtwotownsthatwereontheline.Ispottedhisprogressonthesucceedingdayinthesameway.Ikeptthesematterstomyself.
Thethirdday\'sreportsshowedthatifhekeptuphisgaithewouldarrivebyfourintheafternoon.Therewasstillnosignanywhereofinterestinhiscoming;thereseemedtobenopreparationsmakingtoreceivehiminstate;astrangething,truly.Onlyonethingcouldexplainthis:thatothermagicianhadbeencuttingunderme,sure.Thiswastrue.Iaskedafriendofmine,amonk,aboutit,andhesaid,yes,themagicianhadtriedsomefurtherenchantmentsandfoundoutthatthecourthadconcludedtomakenojourneyatall,butstayathome.Thinkofthat!Observehowmuchareputationwasworthinsuchacountry.Thesepeoplehadseenmedotheveryshowiestbitofmagicinhistory,andtheonlyonewithintheirmemorythathadapositivevalue,andyetheretheywere,readytotakeupwithanadventurerwhocouldoffernoevidenceofhispowersbuthismereunprovenword.
However,itwasnotgoodpoliticstoletthekingcomewithoutanyfussandfeathersatall,soIwentdownanddrummedupaprocessionofpilgrimsandsmokedoutabatchofhermitsandstartedthemoutattwoo\'clocktomeethim.Andthatwasthesortofstatehearrivedin.TheabbotwashelplesswithrageandhumiliationwhenIbroughthimoutonabalconyandshowedhimtheheadofthestatemarchinginandneveramonkonhandtoofferhimwelcome,andnostiroflifeorclangofjoy-belltogladhisspirit.
Hetookonelookandthenflewtorouseouthisforces.Thenextminutethebellsweredinningfuriously,andthevariousbuildingswerevomitingmonksandnuns,whowentswarminginarushtowardthecomingprocession;