第18章
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  Sheleanedherforeheadonthecoolpane,andstoodhalfhiddenbythecurtains,nevermindingthatherfavoritewaltzhadbegun,tillsomeonetouchedher,andturning,shesawLaurie,lookingpenitent,ashesaid,withhisverybestbowandhishandout……

  “Pleaseforgivemyrudeness,andcomeanddancewithme。“

  “I’mafraiditwillbetodisagreeabletoyou,“saidMeg,tryingtolookoffendedandfailingentirely。

  “Notabitofit,I’mdyingtodoit。Come,I’llbegood。

  Idon’tlikeyourgown,butIdothinkyouarejustsplendid。“

  Andhewavedhishands,asifwordsfailedtoexpresshisadmiration。

  Megsmiledandrelented,andwhisperedastheystoodwaitingtocatchthetime,“Takecaremyskirtdoesn’ttripyouup。It’stheplagueofmylifeandIwasagoosetowearit。“

  “Pinitroundyourneck,andthenitwillbeuseful,“saidLaurie,lookingdownatthelittleblueboots,whichheevidentlyapprovedof。

  Awaytheywentfleetlyandgracefully,forhavingpracticedathome,theywerewellmatched,andtheblitheyoungcouplewereapleasantsighttosee,astheytwirledmerrilyroundandround,feelingmorefriendlythaneveraftertheirsmalltiff。

  “Laurie,Iwantyoutodomeafavor,willyou?’saidMeg,ashestoodfanningherwhenherbreathgaveout,whichitdidverysoonthoughshewouldnotownwhy。

  “Won’tI!“saidLaurie,withalacrity。

  “Pleasedon’ttellthemathomeaboutmydresstonight。

  Theywon’tunderstandthejoke,anditwillworryMother。’

  “Thenwhydidyoudoit?“saidLaurie’seyes,soplainlythatMeghastilyadded……

  “Ishalltellthemmyselfallaboutit,and`fess’toMotherhowsillyI’vebeen。ButI’dratherdoitmyself。Soyou’llnottell,willyou?“

  “IgiveyoumywordIwon’t,onlywhatshallIsaywhentheyaskme?“

  “JustsayIlookedprettywellandwashavingagoodtime。“

  “I’llsaythefirstwithallmyheart,buthowabouttheother?Youdon’tlookasifyouwerehavingagoodtime。

  Areyou?’AndLaurielookedatherwithanexpressionwhichmadeheranswerinawhisper……

  “No,notjustnow。Don’tthinkI’mhorrid。Ionlywantedalittlefun,butthissortdoesn’tpay,Ifind,andI’mgettingtiredofit。“

  “HerecomesNedMoffat。Whatdoeshewant?“saidLaurie,knittinghisblackbrowsasifhedidnotregardhisyounghostinthelightofapleasantadditiontotheparty。

  “Heputhisnamedownforthreedances,andIsupposehe’scomingforthem。Whatabore!“saidMeg,assumingalanguidairwhichamusedLaurieimmensely。

  Hedidnotspeaktoheragaintillsuppertime,whenhesawherdrinkingchampagnewithNedandhisfriendFisher,whowerebehaving`likeapairoffools’,asLauriesaidtohimself,forhefeltabrotherlysortofrighttowatchovertheMarchesandfighttheirbattleswheneveradefenderwasneeded。

  “You’llhaveasplittingheadachetomorrow,ifyoudrinkmuchofthat。Iwouldn’t,Meg,yourmotherdoesn’tlikeit,youknow,“hewhispered,leaningoverherchair,asNedturnedtorefillherglassandFisherstoopedtopickupherfan。

  “I’mnotMegtonight,I’m`adoll’whodoesallsortsofcrazythings。TomorrowIshallputawaymy`fussandfeathers’

  andbedesperatelygoodagain,“seansweredwithanaffectedlittlelaugh。

  “Wishtomorrowwashere,then,“mutteredLaurie,walkingoff,ill-pleasedatthechangehesawinher。

  Megdancedandflirted,chatteredandgiggled,astheothergirlsdid。AftersuppersheundertooktheGerman,andblunderedthroughit,nearlyupsettingherpartnerwithherlongskirt,andrompinginawaythatscandalizedLaurie,wholookedonandmeditatedalecture。Buthegotnochancetodeliverit,forMegkeptawayfromhimtillhecametosaygoodnight。

  “Remember!“shesaid,tryingtosmile,forthesplittingheadachehadalreadybegun。

  “Silencea`lamort,“repliedLaurie,withamelodramaticflourish,ashewentaway。

  ThislittlebitofbyplayexcitedAnnie’scuriosity,butMegwastootiredforgossipandwenttobed,feelingasifshehadbeentoamasqueradeandhadn’tenjoyedherselfasmuchassheexpected。Shewassickallthenextday,andonSaturdaywenthome,quiteusedupwithherfortnight’sfunandfeelingthatshehad`satinthelapofluxury’longenough。

  “Itdoesseempleasanttobequiet,andnothavecompanymannersonallthetime。Homeisaniceplace,thoughitisn’tsplendid,“saidMeg,lookingaboutherwitharestfulexpression,asshesatwithhermotherandJoontheSundayevening。

  “I’mgladtohearyousayso,dear,forIwasafraidhomewouldseemdullandpoortoyouafteryourfinequarters,“repliedhermother,whohadgivenhermanyanxiouslooksthatday。Formotherlyeyesarequicktoseeanychangeinchildren’sfaces。

  Meghadtoldheradventuresgaylyandsaidoverandoverwhatacharmingtimeshehadhad,butsomethingstillseemedtoweighuponherspirits,andwhentheyoungergirlsweregonetobed,shesatthoughtfullystaringatthefire,sayinglittleandlookingworried。AstheclockstrucknineandJoproposedbed,Megsuddenlyleftherchairand,takingBeth’sstool,leanedherelbowsonhermother’sknee,sayingbravely……

  “Marmee,Iwantto`fess’。“

  “Ithoughtso。Whatisit,dear?“

  “ShallIgoaway?“askedJodiscreetly。

  “Ofcoursenot。Don’tIalwaystellyoueverything?Iwasashamedtospeakofitbeforetheyoungerchildren,butIwantyoutoknowallthedreadfulthingsIdidattheMoffats’。“

  “Weareprepared,“saidMrs。March,smilingbutlookingalittleanxious。

  “Itoldyoutheydressedmeup,butIdidn’ttellyouthattheypowderedandsqueezedandfrizzled,andmademelooklikeafashionplate。LauriethoughtIwasn’tproper。Iknowhedid,thoughhedidn’tsayso,andonemancalledme`adoll’。Iknewitwassilly,buttheyflatteredmeandsaidIwasabeauty,andquantitiesofnonsense,soIletthemmakeafoolofme。“

  “Isthatall?“askedJo,asMrs。Marchlookedsilentlyatthedowncastfaceofherprettydaughter,andcouldnotfinditinherhearttoblameherlittlefollies。

  “No,Idrankchampagneandrompedandtriedtoflirt,andwasaltogetherabominable,“saidMegself-reproachfully。

  “Thereissomethingmore,Ithink。“AndMrs。Marchsmoothedthesoftcheek,whichsuddenlygrewrosyasMegansweredslowly……

  “Yes。It’sverysilly,butIwanttotellit,becauseIhatetohavepeoplesayandthinksuchthingsaboutusandLaurie。“

  ThenshetoldthevariousbitsofgossipshehadheardattheMoffats’,andasshespoke,Josawhermotherfoldherlipstightly,asifillpleasedthatsuchideasshouldbeputintoMeg’sinnocentmind。

  “Well,ifthatisn’tthegreatestrubbishIeverheard,“criedJoindignantly。“Whydidn’tyoupopoutandtellthemsoonthespot?’

  “Icouldn’t,itwassoembarrassingforme。Icouldn’thelphearingatfirst,andthenIwassoangryandashamed,Ididn’trememberthatIoughttogoaway。“

  “JustwaittillIseeAnnieMoffat,andI’llshowyouhowtosettlesuchridiculousstuff。Theideaofhaving`plans’andbeingkindtoLauriebecausehe’srichandmaymarryusby-and-by!Won’theshoutwhenItellhimwhatthosesillythingssayaboutuspoorchildren?“AndJolaughed,asifonsecondthoughtsthethingstruckherasagoodjoke。

  “IfyoutellLaurie,I’llneverforgiveyou!Shemustn’t,mustshe,Mother?“saidMeg,lookingdistressed。

  “No,neverrepeatthatfoolishgossip,andforgetitassoonasyoucan,“saidMrs。Marchgravely。“IwasveryunwisetoletyougoamongpeopleofwhomIknowsolittle,kind,Idaresay,butworldly,ill-bred,andfullofthesevulgarideasaboutyoungpeople。IammoresorrythanIcanexpressforthemischiefthisvisitmayhavedoneyou,Meg。“

  “Don’tbesorry,Iwon’tletithurtme。I’llforgetallthebadandrememberonlythegood,forIdidenjoyagreatdeal,andthankyouverymuchforlettingmego。I’llnotbesentimentalordissatisfied,Mother。IknowI’masillylittlegirl,andI’llstaywithyoutillI’mfittotakecareofmyself。Butitisnicetobepraisedandadmired,andIcan’thelpsayingIlikeit,“saidMeg,lookinghalfashamedoftheconfession。

  “Thatisperfectlynatural,andquiteharmless,ifthelikingdoesnotbecomeapassionandleadonetodofoolishorunmaidenlythings。Learntoknowandvaluethepraisewhichisworthhaving,andtoexcitetheadmirationofexcellentpeoplebybeingmodestaswellaspretty,Meg。“

  Margaretsatthinkingamoment,whileJostoodwithherhandsbehindher,lookingbothinterestedandalittleperplexed,foritwasanewthingtoseeMegblushingandtalkingaboutadmiration,lovers,andthingsofthatsort。AndJofeltasifduringthatfortnighthersisterhadgrownupamazingly,andwasdriftingawayfromherintoaworldwhereshecouldnotfollow。

  “Mother,doyouhave`plans’,asMrs。Moffatsaid?“askedMegbashfully。

  “Yes,mydear,Ihaveagreatmany,allmothersdo,butminediffersomewhatfromMrs。Moffat’s,Isuspect。Iwilltellyousomeofthem,forthetimehascomewhenawordmaysetthisromanticlittleheadandheartofyoursright,onaveryserioussubject。Youareyoung,Meg,butnottooyoungtounderstandme,andmothers’lipsarethefittesttospeakofsuchthingstogirlslikeyou。Jo,yourturnwillcomeintime,perhaps,solistentomy`plans’andhelpmecarrythemout,iftheyaregood。“

  Jowentandsatononearmofthechair,lookingasifshethoughttheywereabouttojoininsomeverysolemnaffair。

  Holdingahandofeach,andwatchingthetwoyoungfaceswistfully,Mrs。Marchsaid,inherseriousyetcheeryway……

  “Iwantmydaughterstobebeautiful,accomplished,andgood。

  Tobeadmired,loved,andrespected。Tohaveahappyyouth,tobewellandwiselymarried,andtoleaduseful,pleasantlives,withaslittlecareandsorrowtotrythemasGodseesfittosend。

  Tobelovedandchosenbyagoodmanisthebestandsweetestthingwhichcanhappentoawoman,andIsincerelyhopemygirlsmayknowthisbeautifulexperience。Itisnaturaltothinkofit,Meg,righttohopeandwaitforit,andwisetoprepareforit,sothatwhenthehappytimecomes,youmayfeelreadyforthedutiesandworthyofthejoy。Mydeargirls,Iamambitiousforyou,butnottohaveyoumakeadashintheworld,marryrichmenmerelybecausetheyarerich,orhavesplendidhouses,whicharenothomesbecauseloveiswanting。Moneyisaneedfulandpreciousthing,andwhenwellused,anoblething,butIneverwantyoutothinkitisthefirstoronlyprizetostrivefor。I’dratherseeyoupoormen’swives,ifyouwerehappy,beloved,contented,thanqueensonthrones,withoutself-respectandpeace。“

  “Poorgirlsdon’tstandanychance,Bellesays,unlesstheyputthemselvesforward,“sighedMeg。

  “Thenwe’llbeoldmaids,“saidJostoutly。

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