’Becausethehouseisfullofmysteriesandsecrets；becauseit’sfullofwhisperingsandcounsellings；becauseit’sfullofnoises。
Thereneverwassuchahousefornoises。Ishalldieof’em，ifJeremiahdon’tstranglemefirst。AsIexpecthewill。’
’Ihaveneverheardanynoiseshere，worthspeakingof。’
’Ah!Butyouwould，though，ifyoulivedinthehouse，andwasobligedtogoaboutitasIam，’saidAffery；’andyou’dfeelthattheywassowellworthspeakingof，thatyou’dfeelyouwasnighburstingthroughnotbeingallowedtospeakof’em。Here’sJeremiah!You’llgetmekilled。’
’MygoodAffery，IsolemnlydeclaretoyouthatIcanseethelightoftheopendooronthepavementofthehall，andsocouldyouifyouwoulduncoveryourfaceandlook。’
’Idurstn’tdoit，’saidAffery，’Idurstn’tnever，Arthur。I’malwaysblind-foldedwhenJeremiahan’talooking，andsometimesevenwhenheis。’
’Hecannotshutthedoorwithoutmyseeinghim，’saidArthur。’Youareassafewithmeasifhewasfiftymilesaway。’
’Iwishhewas!’criedAffery。
’Affery，Iwanttoknowwhatisamisshere；Iwantsomelightthrownonthesecretsofthishouse。’
’Itellyou，Arthur，’sheinterrupted，’noisesisthesecrets，rustlingsandstealingsabout，tremblings，treadsoverheadandtreadsunderneath。’
’Butthosearenotallthesecrets。’
’Idon’tknow，’saidAffery。’Don’taskmenomore。Youroldsweetheartan’tfaroff，andshe’sablabber。’
Hisoldsweetheart，beinginfactsonearathandthatshewasthenrecliningagainsthiminaflutter，averysubstantialangleofforty-fivedegrees，hereinterposedtoassureMistressAfferywithgreaterearnestnessthandirectnessofasseveration，thatwhatsheheardshouldgonofurther，butshouldbekeptinviolate，’ifonnootheraccountonArthur’s——sensibleofintrudinginbeingtoofamiliarDoyceandClennam’s。’
’Imakeanimploringappealtoyou，Affery，toyou，oneofthefewagreeableearlyremembrancesIhave，formymother’ssake，foryourhusband’ssake，formyown，foralloursakes。Iamsureyoucantellmesomethingconnectedwiththecominghereofthisman，ifyouwill。’
’Why，thenI’lltellyou，Arthur，’returnedAffery——’Jeremiah’scoming!’
’No，indeedheisnot。Thedoorisopen，andheisstandingoutside，talking。’
’I’lltellyouthen，’saidAffery，afterlistening，’thatthefirsttimeheevercomeheheardthenoiseshisownself。“What’sthat？“
hesaidtome。“Idon’tknowwhatitis，“Isaystohim，catchingholdofhim，“butIhavehearditoverandoveragain。“WhileI
saysit，hestandsalookingatme，allofashake，hedo。’
’Hashebeenhereoften？’
’Onlythatnight，andthelastnight。’
’Whatdidyouseeofhimonthelastnight，afterIwasgone？’
’Themtwocleveroneshadhimallalonetothemselves。Jeremiahcomeadancingatmesideways，afterIhadletyououthealwayscomesadancingatmesidewayswhenhe’sgoingtohurtme，andhesaidtome，“Now，Affery，“hesaid，“Iamacomingbehindyou，mywoman，andagoingtorunyouup。“Sohetookandsqueezedthebackofmyneckinhishand，tillitmademeopenMYmouth，andthenhepushedmebeforehimtobed，squeezingalltheway。That’swhathecallsrunningmeup，hedo。Oh，he’sawickedone!’
’Anddidyouhearorseenomore，Affery？’
’Don’tItellyouIwassenttobed，Arthur!Hereheis!’
’Iassureyouheisstillatthedoor。Thosewhisperingsandcounsellings，Affery，thatyouhavespokenof。Whatarethey？’
’HowshouldIknow？Don’taskmenothingabout’em，Arthur。Getaway!’
’ButmydearAffery；unlessIcangainsomeinsightintothesehiddenthings，inspiteofyourhusbandandinspiteofmymother，ruinwillcomeofit。’
’Don’taskmenothing，’repeatedAffery。’Ihavebeeninadreamforeversolong。Goaway，goaway!’
’Yousaidthatbefore，’returnedArthur。’Youusedthesameexpressionthatnight，atthedoor，whenIaskedyouwhatwasgoingonhere。Whatdoyoumeanbybeinginadream？’
’Ian’tagoingtotellyou。Getaway!Ishouldn’ttellyou，ifyouwasbyyourself；muchlesswithyouroldsweethearthere。’
ItwasequallyvainforArthurtoentreat，andforFloratoprotest。Affery，whohadbeentremblingandstrugglingthewholetime，turnedadeafeartoalladjuration，andwasbentonforcingherselfoutofthecloset。
’I’dsoonerscreamtoJeremiahthansayanotherword!I’llcallouttohim，Arthur，ifyoudon’tgiveoverspeakingtome。Nowhere’stheverylastwordI’llsayaforeIcalltohim——Ifeveryoubegintogetthebetterofthemtwocleveronesyourownselfyououghttoit，asItoldyouwhenyoufirstcomehome，foryouhaven’tbeenalivingherelongyears，tobemadeafearedofyourlifeasIhave，thendoyougetthebetterof’emaforemyface；
andthendoyousaytome，Afferytellyourdreams!Maybe，thenI’lltell’em!’
TheshuttingofthedoorstoppedArthurfromreplying。TheyglidedintotheplaceswhereJeremiahhadleftthem；andClennam，steppingforwardasthatoldgentlemanreturned，informedhimthathehadaccidentallyextinguishedthecandle。MrFlintwinchlookedonashere-lighteditatthelampinthehall，andpreservedaprofoundtaciturnityrespectingthepersonwhohadbeenholdinghiminconversation。Perhapshisirascibilitydemandedcompensationforsometediousnessthatthevisitorhadexpendedonhim；howeverthatwas，hetooksuchumbrageatseeinghiswifewithherapronoverherhead，thathechargedather，andtakingherveilednosebetweenhisthumbandfinger，appearedtothrowthewholescrew-
powerofhispersonintothewringhegaveit。
Flora，nowpermanentlyheavy，didnotreleaseArthurfromthesurveyofthehouse，untilithadextendedeventohisoldgarretbedchamber。Histhoughtswereotherwiseoccupiedthanwiththetourofinspection；yethetookparticularnoticeatthetime，asheafterwardshadoccasiontoremember，oftheairlessnessandclosenessofthehouse；thattheyleftthetrackoftheirfootstepsinthedustontheupperfloors；andthattherewasaresistancetotheopeningofoneroomdoor，whichoccasionedAfferytocryoutthatsomebodywashidinginside，andtocontinuetobelieveso，thoughsomebodywassoughtandnotdiscovered。Whentheyatlastreturnedtohismother’sroom，theyfoundhershadingherfacewithhermuffledhand，andtalkinginalowvoicetothePatriarchashestoodbeforethefire，whoseblueeyes，polishedhead，andsilkenlocks，turningtowardsthemastheycamein，impartedaninestimablevalueandinexhaustibleloveofhisspeciestohisremark：
’Soyouhavebeenseeingthepremises，seeingthepremises——
premises——seeingthepremises!’
itwasnotinitselfajewelofbenevolenceorwisdom，yethemadeitanexemplarofboththatonewouldhavelikedtohaveacopyof。
TheEveningofaLongDayThatillustriousmanandgreatnationalornament，MrMerdle，continuedhisshiningcourse。Itbegantobewidelyunderstoodthatonewhohaddonesocietytheadmirableserviceofmakingsomuchmoneyoutofit，couldnotbesufferedtoremainacommoner。
Abaronetcywasspokenofwithconfidence；apeeragewasfrequentlymentioned。RumourhaditthatMrMerdlehadsethisgoldenfaceagainstabaronetcy；thathehadplainlyintimatedtoLordDecimusthatabaronetcywasnotenoughforhim；thathehadsaid，’No——aPeerage，orplainMerdle。’ThiswasreportedtohaveplungedLordDecimusasnightohisnoblechininasloughofdoubtsassoloftyapersoncouldbesunk。FortheBarnacles，asagroupofthemselvesincreation，hadanideathatsuchdistinctionsbelongedtothem；andthatwhenasoldier，sailor，orlawyerbecameennobled，theylethimin，asitwere，byanactofcondescension，atthefamilydoor，andimmediatelyshutitagain。NotonlysaidRumourhadthetroubledDecimushisownhereditarypartinthisimpression，buthealsoknewofseveralBarnacleclaimsalreadyonthefile，whichcameintocollisionwiththatofthemasterspirit。
Rightorwrong，Rumourwasverybusy；andLordDecimus，whilehewas，orwassupposedtobe，instatelyexcogitationofthedifficulty，lenthersomecountenancebytaking，onseveralpublicoccasions，oneofthoseelephantinetrotsofhisthroughajungleofovergrownsentences，wavingMrMerdleaboutonhistrunkasGiganticEnterprise，TheWealthofEngland，Elasticity，Credit，Capital，Prosperity，andallmannerofblessings。
Soquietlydidthemowingoftheoldscythegoon，thatfullythreemonthshadpassedunnoticedsincethetwoEnglishbrothershadbeenlaidinonetombinthestrangers’cemeteryatRome。MrandMrsSparklerwereestablishedintheirownhouse：alittlemanSion，ratheroftheTiteBarnacleclass，quiteatriumphofinconvenience，withaperpetualsmellinitofthedaybeforeyesterday’ssoupandcoach-horses，butextremelydear，asbeingexactlyinthecentreofthehabitableglobe。Inthisenviableabodeandenvieditreallywasbymanypeople，MrsSparklerhadintendedtoproceedatoncetothedemolitionoftheBosom，whenactivehostilitieshadbeensuspendedbythearrivaloftheCourierwithhistidingsofdeath。MrsSparkler，whowasnotunfeeling，hadreceivedthemwithaviolentburstofgrief，whichhadlastedtwelvehours；afterwhich，shehadarisentoseeabouthermourning，andtotakeeveryprecautionthatcouldensureitsbeingasbecomingasMrsMerdle’s。Agloomwasthencastovermorethanonedistinguishedfamilyaccordingtothepolitestsourcesofintelligence，andtheCourierwentbackagain。
MrandMrsSparklerhadbeendiningalone，withtheirgloomcastoverthem，andMrsSparklerreclinedonadrawing-roomsofa。ItwasahotsummerSundayevening。Theresidenceinthecentreofthehabitableglobe，atalltimesstuffedandcloseasifithadanincurablecoldinitshead，wasthateveningparticularlystifling。
Thebellsofthechurcheshaddonetheirworstinthewayofclangingamongtheunmelodiousechoesofthestreets，andthelightedwindowsofthechurcheshadceasedtobeyellowinthegreydusk，andhaddiedoutopaqueblack。MrsSparkler，lyingonhersofa，lookingthroughanopenwindowattheoppositesideofanarrowstreetoverboxesofmignonetteandflowers，wastiredoftheview。MrsSparkler，lookingatanotherwindowwhereherhusbandstoodinthebalcony，wastiredofthatview。MrsSparkler，lookingatherselfinhermourning，waseventiredofthatview：though，naturally，notsotiredofthatasoftheothertwo。
’It’slikelyinginawell，’saidMrsSparkler，changingherpositionfretfully。’Dearme，Edmund，ifyouhaveanythingtosay，whydon’tyousayit？’
MrSparklermighthaverepliedwithingenuousness，’Mylife，Ihavenothingtosay。’But，asthereparteedidnotoccurtohim，hecontentedhimselfwithcominginfromthebalconyandstandingatthesideofhiswife’scouch。
’Goodgracious，Edmund!’saidMrsSparklermorefretfullystill，youareabsolutelyputtingmignonetteupyournose!Praydon’t!’
MrSparkler，inabsenceofmind——perhapsinamoreliteralabsenceofmindthanisusuallyunderstoodbythephrase——hadsmeltsohardataspriginhishandastobeonthevergeoftheoffenceinquestion。Hesmiled，said，’Iaskyourpardon，mydear，’andthrewitoutofwindow。
’Youmakemyheadachebyremaininginthatposition，Edmund，’saidMrsSparkler，raisinghereyestohimafteranotherminute；’youlooksoaggravatinglylargebythislight。Dositdown。’