THECOMTESSEDEL’ESTORADETOTHEBARONNEDEMACUMER
January1827。
MyfatherhasbeenelectedtotheChamber，myfather-in-lawisdead，andIamonthepointofmysecondconfinement；thesearethechiefeventsmarkingtheendoftheyearforus。Imentionthematonce，lestthesightoftheblacksealshouldfrightenyou。
Mydear，yourletterfromRomemademyfleshcreep。Youarenothingbutapairofchildren。Felipeiseitheradissemblingdiplomatorelsehisloveforyouistheloveamanmighthaveforacourtesan，onwhomhesquandershisall，knowingallthetimethatsheisfalsetohim。Enoughofthis。YousayIrave，soIhadbetterholdmytongue。
OnlythiswouldIsay，fromthecomparisonofourtwoverydifferentdestiniesIdrawthisharshmoral——Lovenotifyouwouldbeloved。
Mydear，whenLouiswaselectedtotheprovincialCouncil，hereceivedthecrossoftheLegionofHonor。Thatisnownearlythreeyearsago；
andasmyfather——whomyouwillnodoubtseeinParisduringthecourseofthesession——hasaskedtherankofOfficeroftheLegionforhisson-in-law，Iwanttoknowifyouwilldomethekindnesstotakeinhandthebigwig，whoeverhemaybe，towhomthispatronagebelongs，andtokeepaneyeuponthelittleaffair。But，whateveryoudo，don’tgetentangledintheconcernsofmyhonoredfather。TheComtedeMaucombeisfishingforthetitleofMarquisforhimself；butkeepyourgoodservicesforme，please。WhenLouisisadeputy——nextwinterthatis——weshallcometoParis，andthenwewillmoveheavenandearthtogetsomeGovernmentappointmentforhim，sothatwemaybeabletosaveourincomebylivingonhissalary。Myfathersitsbetweenthecentreandtheright；atitlewillcontenthim。OurfamilywasdistinguishedeveninthedaysofKingRene，andCharlesX。willhardlysaynotoaMaucombe；butwhatIfearisthatmyfathermaytakeitintohisheadtoasksomefavorformyyoungerbrother。Now，ifthemarquisateisdangledoutofhisreach，hewillhavenothoughtstosparefromhimself。
January15th。
Ah!Louise，Ihavebeeninhell。IfIcanbeartotellyouofmyanguish，itisbecauseyouareanotherself；evenso，Idon’tknowwhetherIshalleverbeabletoliveagaininthoughtthosefiveghastlydays。Themereword“convulsions“makesmyveryheartsick。
Fivedays!tometheywerefivecenturiesoftorture。Amotherwhohasnotbeenthroughthismartyrdomdoesnotknowwhatsufferingis。SofrenziedwasIthatIevenenviedyou，whoneverhadachild!
Theeveningbeforethatterribledaytheweatherwasclose，almosthot，andIthoughtmylittleArmandwasaffectedbyit。Generallysosweetandcaressing，hewaspeevish，criedfornothing，wantedtoplay，andthenbrokehistoys。Perhapsthissortoffractiousnessistheusualsignofapproachingillnesswithchildren。WhileIwaswonderingaboutit，InoticedArmand’scheeksflush，butthisIsetdowntoteething，forheiscuttingfourlargeteethatonce。SoIputhimtobedbesideme，andkeptconstantlywakingthroughthenight。Hewasalittlefeverish，butnotenoughtomakemeuneasy，mymindbeingstillfulloftheteething。Towardsmorninghecried“Mamma!“andaskedbysignsforsomethingtodrink；butthecrywasspasmodic，andtherewereconvulsivetwitchingsinthelimbs，whichturnedmetoice。
Ijumpedoutofbedtofetchhimadrink。Imaginemyhorrorwhen，onmyhandinghimthecup，heremainedmotionless，onlyrepeating“Mamma!“inthatstrange，unfamiliarvoice，whichwasindeedbythistimehardlyavoiceatall。Itookhishand，butitdidnotrespondtomypressure；itwasquitestiff。Iputthecuptohislips；thepoorlittlefellowgulpeddownthreeorfourmouthfulsinaconvulsivemannerthatwasterribletosee，andthewatermadeastrangesoundinhisthroat。Heclungtomedesperately，andIsawhiseyesroll，asthoughsomehiddenforcewithinwerepullingatthem，tillonlythewhiteswerevisible；hislimbswereturningrigid。Iscreamedaloud，andLouiscame。
“Adoctor!quick!……heisdying，“Icried。
Louisvanished，andmypoorArmandagaingasped，“Mamma!Mamma!“Thenextmomenthelostallconsciousnessofhismother’sexistence。Theprettyveinsonhisforeheadswelled，andtheconvulsionsbegan。Forawholehourbeforethedoctorscame，Iheldinmyarmsthatmerrybaby，allliliesandroses，theblossomofmylife，mypride，andmyjoy，lifelessasapieceofwood；andhiseyes!Icannotthinkofthemwithouthorror。MyprettyArmandwasameremummy——black，shriveled，misshapen。
Adoctor，twodoctors，broughtfromMarseillesbyLouis，hoveredaboutlikebirdsofillomen；itmademeshuddertolookatthem。Onespokeofbrainfever，theothersawnothingbutanordinarycaseofconvulsionsininfancy。Ourowncountrydoctorseemedtometohavethemostsense，forheofferednoopinion。“It’steething，“saidtheseconddoctor——“Fever，“saidthefirst。Finallyitwasagreedtoputleechesonhisneckandiceonhishead。Itseemedtomelikedeath。
Tolookon，toseeacorpse，allpurpleorblack，andnotacry，notamovementfromthiscreaturebutnowsofulloflifeandsound——itwashorrible!
AtonemomentIlostmyhead，andgaveasortofhystericallaugh，asIsawtheprettyneckwhichIusedtodevourwithkisses，withtheleechesfeedingonit，andhisdarlingheadinacapofice。Mydear，wehadtocutthoselovelycurls，ofwhichweweresoproudandwithwhichyouusedtoplay，inordertomakeroomfortheice。Theconvulsionsreturnedeverytenminuteswiththeregularityoflaborpains，andthenthepoorbabywrithedandtwisted，nowwhite，nowviolet。Hissupplelimbsclatteredlikewoodastheystruck。Andthisunconsciousfleshwasthebeingwhosmiledandprattled，andusedtosayMamma!Atthethought，astormofagonyswepttumultuouslyovermysoul，liketheseatossinginahurricane。Itseemedasthougheverytiewhichbindsachildtoitsmother’sheartwasstrainedtorending。
Mymother，whomighthavegivenmehelp，advice，orcomfort，wasinParis。Mothers，itismybelief，knowmorethandoctorsdoaboutconvulsions。
Afterfourdaysandnightsofsuspenseandfear，whichalmostkilledme，thedoctorswereunanimousinadvisingtheapplicationofahorridointment，whichwouldproduceopensores。SoresonmyArmand!whoonlyfivedaysbeforewasplayingabout，andlaughing，andtryingtosay“Godmother!“Iwouldnothaveitdone，preferringtotrustinnature。
Louis，whobelievesindoctors，scoldedme。Amanremainsthesamethrougheverything。Buttherearemomentswhenthisterriblediseasetakesthelikenessofdeath，andinoneoftheseitseemedborneinuponmethatthishatefulremedywasthesalvationofArmand。Louise，theskinwassodry，soroughandparched，thattheointmentwouldnotact。ThenIbrokeintoweeping，andmytearsfellsolongandsofast，thatthebedsidewaswetthrough。Andthedoctorswereatdinner!
Seeingmyselfalonewiththechild，Istrippedhimofallmedicalappliances，andseizinghimlikeamadwoman，pressedhimtomybosom，layingmyforeheadagainsthis，andbeseechingGodtogranthimthelifewhichIwasstrivingtopassintohisveinsfrommine。ForsomeminutesIheldhimthus，longingtodiewithhim，sothatneitherlifenordeathmightpartus。Dear，Ifeltthelimbsrelaxing；thewrithingsceased，thechildstirred，andtheghastly，corpseliketintsfadedaway!Iscreamed，justasIdidwhenhewastakenill；thedoctorshurriedup，andIpointedtoArmand。
“Heissaved!“exclaimedtheoldestofthem。
Whatmusicinthosewords!Thegatesofheavenopened!And，infact，twohourslaterArmandcamebacktolife；butIwasutterlycrushed，anditwasonlythehealingpowerofjoywhichsavedmefromaseriousillness。MyGod!bywhattorturesdoyoubindamothertoherchild!
Tofastenhimtoourheart，needthenailsbedrivenintotheveryquick？WasInotmotherenoughbefore？I，whowepttearsofjoyoverhisbrokensyllablesandtotteringsteps，whospenthourstogetherplanninghowbesttoperformmyduty，andfitmyselfforthesweetpostofmother？Whythesehorrors，theseghastlyscenes，foramotherwhoalreadyidolizedherchild？
AsIwrite，ourlittleArmandisplaying，shouting，laughing。Whatcanbethecauseofthisterriblediseasewithchildren？VainlydoItrytopuzzleitout，rememberingthatIamagainwithchild。Isitteething？Isitsomepeculiarprocessinthebrain？Istheresomethingwrongwiththenervoussystemofchildrenwhoaresubjecttoconvulsions？Allthesethoughtsdisquietme，inviewalikeofthepresentandthefuture。Ourcountrydoctorholdstothetheoryofnervoustroubleproducedbyteething。IwouldgiveeverytoothinmyheadtoseelittleArmand’sallthrough。Thesightofoneofthoselittlewhitepearlspeepingoutoftheswollengumbringsacoldsweatovermenow。Theheroismwithwhichthelittleangelborehissufferingsprovestomethathewillbehismother’sson。Alookfromhimgoestomyveryheart。
Medicalsciencecangivenosatisfactoryexplanationastotheoriginofthissortoftetanus，whichpassesoffasrapidlyasitcomeson，andcanapparentlybeneitherguardedagainstnorcured。Onethingalone，asIsaidbefore，iscertain，thatitishellforamothertoseeherchildinconvulsions。HowpassionatelydoIclasphimtomyheart!Icouldwalkforeverwithhiminmyarms!
Tohavesufferedallthisonlysixweeksbeforemyconfinementmadeitmuchworse；Ifearedforthecomingchild。Farewell，mydearbeloved。
Don’twishforachild——thereisthesumandsubstanceofmyletter!
THEBARONNEDEMACUMERTOTHEVICOMTESSEDEL’ESTORADE
Paris。
Poorsweet，——MacumerandIforgaveyouallyournaughtinesswhenweheardofyourterribletrouble。IthrilledwithpainasIreadthedetailsofthedoubleagony，andthereseemcompensationsnowinbeingchildless。
IamwritingatoncetotellyouthatLouishasbeenpromoted。HecannowweartheribbonofanofficeroftheLegion。Youarealuckywoman，Renee，andyouwillprobablyhavealittlegirl，sincethatusedtobeyourwish!
ThemarriageofmybrotherwithMlle。deMortsaufwascelebratedonourreturn。OurgraciousKing，whoreallyisextraordinarilykind，hasgivenmybrotherthereversionofthepostoffirstgentlemanofthechamber，whichhisfather-in-lawnowfills，ontheoneconditionthatthescutcheonoftheMortsaufsshouldbeplacedsidebysidewiththatoftheLenoncourts。
“Theofficeoughttogowiththetitle，“hesaidtotheDucdeLenoncourt-Givry。
Myfatherisjustifiedahundred-fold。Withoutthehelpofmyfortunenothingofallthiscouldhavetakenplace。MyfatherandmothercamefromMadridforthewedding，andreturnthere，afterthereceptionwhichIgiveto-morrowforthebrideandbridegroom。
Thecarnivalwillbeaverygayone。TheDucandDuchessedeSoriaareinParis，andtheirpresencemakesmealittleuneasy。MarieHerediaiscertainlyoneofthemostbeautifulwomeninEurope，andIdon’tlikethewayFelipelooksather。ThereforeIamdoublylavishofsweetnessandcaresses。EverylookandgesturespeakthewordswhichI
amcarefulmylipsshouldnotutter，“/She/couldnotlovelikethis!“
HeavenknowshowlovelyandfascinatingIam!YesterdayMme。deMaufrigneusesaidtome：
“Dearchild，whocancompetewithyou？“
ThenIkeepFelipesowellamused，thathissister-in-lawmustseemaslivelyasaSpanishcowincomparison。IamthelesssorrythatalittleAbencerrageisnotonhisway，becausetheDuchesswillnodoubtstayinParisoverherconfinement，andshewon’tbeabeautyanylonger。Ifthebabyisaboy，itwillbecalledFelipe，inhonoroftheexile。AnunkindchancehasdecreedthatIshall，asecondtime，serveasgodmother。
Good-bye，dear，IshallgotoChantepleursearlythisyear，forourItaliantourwasshockinglyexpensive。IshallleaveabouttheendofMarch，andretiretoeconomizeinNivenais。Besides，IamtiredofParis。Felipesighs，asIdo，afterthebeautifulquietofthepark，ourcoolmeadows，andourLoire，withitssparklingsands，peerlessamongrivers。ChantepleurswillseemdelightfultomeafterthepompsandvanitiesofItaly；for，afterall，splendorbecomeswearisome，andalover’sglancehasmorebeautythana/capod’opera/ora/belquadro/!
Weshallexpectyouthere。Don’tbeafraidthatIshallbejealousagain。YouarefreetotakewhatsoundingsyoupleaseinMacumer’sheart，andfishupalltheinterjectionsanddoubtsyoucan。Iamsupremelyindifferent。SincethatdayatRomeFelipe’sloveformehasgrown。Hetoldmeyesterdayheislookingovermyshouldernowthathissister-in-law，thePrincessHeredia，hisdestinedbrideofold，thedreamofhisyouth，hadnobrains。Oh!mydear，Iamworsethanaballet-dancer!Ifyouknewwhatjoythatslightingremarkgaveme!I
havepointedouttoFelipethatshedoesnotspeakFrenchcorrectly。
Shesays/esemple/for/exemple/，/sain/for/cinq/，/cheu/for/je/。
Sheisbeautifulofcourse，butquitewithoutcharmortheslightestscintillaofwit。Whenacomplimentispaidher，shelooksatyouasthoughshedidn’tknowwhattodowithsuchastrangething。Felipe，beingwhatheis，couldnothavelivedtwomonthswithMarieafterhismarriage。DonFernand，theDucdeSoria，suitsherverywell。Hehasgenerousinstincts，butit’seasytoseehehasbeenaspoiltchild。I
amtemptedtobenaughtyandmakeyoulaugh；butIwon’tdrawthelongbow。Eversomuchlove，darling。