第23章
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  Youneverscrupletousethepowerwhichhislovehasplacedinyourhand。Yourpositionofvantagemaybereadinagesture,alook,atone。Oh!darling,howtrulyareyouthemadwantonyourmothercalledyou!Youdonotquestion,Ifancy,thatIamgreatlyLouis’superior。

  Well,Iwouldaskyou,haveyoueverheardmecontradicthim?AmInotalways,inthepresenceofothers,thewifewhorespectsinhimtheauthorityofthefamily?Hypocrisy!youwillsay。Well,listentome。

  ItistruethatifIwanttogivehimanyadvicewhichIthinkmaybeofusetohim,IwaitforthequietandseclusionofourbedroomtoexplainwhatIthinkandwish;but,Iassureyou,sweetheart,thateventhereIneverarrogatetomyselftheplaceofmentor。IfIdidnotremaininprivatethesamesubmissivewifethatIappeartoothers,hewouldloseconfidenceinhimself。Dear,thegoodwedotoothersisspoiltunlessweeffaceourselvessocompletelythatthosewehelphavenosenseofinferiority。Thereisawonderfulsweetnessinthesehiddensacrifices,andwhatatriumphformeinyourunsuspectingpraisesofLouis!Therecanbenodoubtalsothatthehappiness,thecomfort,thehopeofthelasttwoyearshaverestoredwhatmisfortune,hardship,solitude,anddespondencyhasrobbedhimof。

  This,then,isthesum-totalofmyobservations。AtthepresentmomentyouloveinFelipe,notyourhusband,butyourself。Thereistruthinyourfather’swords;concealedbythespring-flowersofyourpassionliesallthegreatlady’sselfishness。Ah!mychild,howImustloveyoutospeaksuchbittertruths!

  Letmetellyou,ifyouwillpromisenevertobreatheawordofthistotheBaron,theendofourtalk。Wehadbeensingingyourpraisesineverykey,forhesoondiscoveredthatIlovedyoulikeafondly-

  cherishedsister,andhavinginsensiblybroughthimtoaconfidentialmood,Iventuredtosay:

  “Louisehasneveryethadtostrugglewithlife。Shehasbeenthespoiltchildoffortune,andshemightyethavetopayforthiswereyounottheretoactthepartoffatheraswellaslover。“

  “Ah!butisitpossible?……“Hebrokeoffabruptly,likeamanwhoseeshimselfontheedgeofaprecipice。Buttheexclamationwasenoughforme。Nodoubt,ifyouhadstayed,hewouldhavespokenmorefreelylater。

  Mysweet,thinkofthedayawaitingyouwhenyourhusband’sstrengthwillbeexhausted,whenpleasurewillhaveturnedtosatiety,andheseeshimself,Iwillnotsaydegraded,butshornofhisproperdignitybeforeyou。Thestingsofconsciencewillthenwakenasortofremorseinhim,allthemorepainfulforyou,becauseyouwillfeelyourselfresponsible,andyouwillendbydespisingthemanwhomyouhavenotaccustomedyourselftorespect。Remember,too,thatscornwithawomanisonlytheearliestphaseofhatred。Youaretoonobleandgenerous,Iknow,evertoforgetthesacrificeswhichFelipehasmadeforyou;

  butwhatfurthersacrificeswillbeleftforhimtomakewhenhehas,sotospeak,serveduphimselfatthefirstbanquet?Woetotheman,astothewoman,whohasleftnodesireunsatisfied!Allisoverthen。

  Toourshameorourglory——thepointistooniceformetodecide——itisoflovealonethatwomenareinsatiable。

  Oh!Louise,changeyet,whilethereisstilltime。IfyouwouldonlyadoptthesamecoursewithMacumerthatIhavedonewithl’Estorade,youmightrousethesleepinglioninyourhusband,whoismadeofthestuffofheroes。Onemightalmostsaythatyougrudgehimhisgreatness。Wouldyoufeelnoprideinusingyourpowerforotherendsthanyourowngratification,inawakeningthegeniusofagiftedman,asIinraisingtoahigherleveloneofmerelycommonparts?

  Hadyouremainedwithus,Ishouldstillhavewrittenthisletter,forintalkingyoumighthavecutmeshortorgotthebetterofmewithyoursharptongue。ButIknowthatyouwillreadthisthoughtfullyandweighmywarnings。Dearheart,youhaveeverythinginlifetomakeyouhappy,donotspoilyourchances;returntoParis,Ientreatyou,assoonasMacumercomesback。Theengrossingclaimsofsociety,ofwhichIcomplained,arenecessaryforbothofyou;otherwiseyouwouldspendyourlifeinmutualself-absorption。Amarriedwomanoughtnottobetoolavishofherself。Themotherofafamily,whonevergivesherhouseholdanopportunityofmissingher,runstheriskofpallingonthem。IfIhaveseveralchildren,asItrustformyownsakeImay,I

  assureyouIshallmakeapointofreservingtomyselfcertainhourswhichshallbeheldsacred;eventoone’schildrenone’spresenceshouldnotbeamatterofdailybread。

  Farewell,mydearjealoussoul!Doyouknowthatmanywomenwouldbehighlyflatteredathavingrousedthispassingpanginyou?Alas!I

  canonlymourn,forwhatisnotmotherinmeisyourdearfriend。A

  thousandloves。Makewhatexcuseyouwillforleaving;ifyouarenotsureofMacumer,IamofLouis。

  THEBARONNEDEMACUMERTOTHEVICOMTESSEDEL’ESTORADE

  Genoa。

  Mybelovedbeauty,——IwasbittenwiththefancytoseesomethingofItaly,andIamdelightedathavingcarriedoffMacumer,whoseplansinregardtoSardiniaarepostponed。

  Thiscountryissimpleravishing。Thechurches——aboveall,thechapels——haveaseductive,bewitchingair,whichmustmakeeveryfemaleProtestantyearnafterCatholicism。Macumerhasbeenreceivedwithacclamation,andtheyarealldelightedtohavemadeanItalianofsodistinguishedaman。FelipecouldhavetheSardinianembassyatParisifIcaredaboutit,forIammademuchofatcourt。

  Ifyouwrite,addressyourletterstoFlorence。Ihavenottimenowtogointoanydetails,butIwilltellyouthestoryofourtravelswheneveryoucometoParis。Weonlyremainhereaweek,andthengoontoFlorence,takingLeghornontheway。WeshallstayamonthinTuscanyandamonthatNaples,soastoreachRomeinNovember。ThencewereturnhomebyVenice,whereweshallspendthefirstfortnightofDecember,andarriveinParis,/via/MilanandTurin,forJanuary。

  Ourjourneyisaperfecthoneymoon;thesightofnewplacesgivesfreshlifetoourpassion。MacumerdidnotknowItalyatall,andwehavebegunwiththatsplendidCorniceroad,whichmightbetheworkoffairyarchitects。

  Good-bye,darling。Don’tbeangryifIdon’twrite。Itisimpossibletogetaminutetooneselfintraveling;mywholetimeistakenupwithseeing,admiring,andrealizingmyimpressions。Butnotawordtoyouofthesetillmemoryhasgiventhemtheirproperatmosphere。

  THEVICOMTESSEDEL’ESTORADETOTHEBARONNEDEMACUMER

  September。

  Mydear,——ThereislyingforyouatChantepleursafullreplytotheletteryouwrotemefromMarseilles。Thishoneymoonjourney,sofarfromdiminishingthefearsIthereexpressed,makesmebegofyoutogetmylettersentonfromNivernais。

  TheGovernment,itissaid,areresolvedondissolution。ThisisunluckyfortheCrown,sincethelastsessionofthisloyalParliamentwouldhavebeendevotedtothepassingoflaws,essentialtotheconsolidationofitspower;anditisnotlesssoforus,asLouiswillnotbefortytilltheendof1827。Fortunately,however,myfatherhasagreedtostand,andhewillresignhisseatwhentherightmomentarrives。

  Yourgodsonhasfoundouthowtowalkwithouthisgodmother’shelp。Heisaltogetherdelicious,andbeginstomaketheprettiestlittlesignstome,whichbringhometoonethathereisreallyathinkingbeing,notamereanimalorsuckingmachine。Hissmilesarefullofmeaning。

  IhavebeensosuccessfulinmyprofessionofnursethatIshallweanArmandinDecember。Ayearatthebreastisquiteenough;childrenwhoaresuckledlongeraresaidtogrowstupid,andIamallforpopularsayings。

  YoumustmakeatremendoussensationinItaly,myfaironewiththegoldenlocks。Athousandloves。

  THEBARONNEDEMACUMERTOTHEVICOMTESSEDEL’ESTORADE

  Youratrociousletterhasreachedmehere,thestewardhavingforwardeditbymyorders。Oh!Renee……butIwillspareyoutheoutburstofmywoundedfeelings,andsimplytellyoutheeffectyourletterproduced。

  Wehadjustreturnedfromadelightfulreceptiongiveninourhonorbytheambassador,whereIappearedinallmyglory,andMacumerwascompletelycarriedawayinafrenzyoflovewhichIcouldnotdescribe。ThenIreadhimyourhorribleanswertomyletter,andI

  readitsobbing,attheriskofmakingafrightofmyself。MydearArabfellatmyfeet,declaringthatyouraved。Thenhecarriedmeofftothebalconyofthepalacewherewearestaying,fromwhichwehaveaviewoverpartofthecity;therehespoketomewordsworthyofthemagnificentmoonlightscenewhichlaystretchedbeforeus。WebothspeakItaliannow,andhislove,toldinthatvoluptuoustongue,soadmirablyadaptedtotheexpressionofpassion,soundedinmyearslikethemostexquisitepoetry。Hesworethat,evenwereyourightinyourpredictions,hewouldnotexchangeforalifetimeasingleoneofourblessednightsorcharmingmornings。Atthisreckoninghehasalreadylivedathousandyears。Heiscontenttohavemeforhismistress,andwouldclaimnoothertitlethanthatoflover。Soproudandpleasedishetoseehimselfeverydaythechosenofmyheart,thatwereHeaventoofferhimthealternativebetweenlivingasyouwouldhaveustoforanotherthirtyyearswithfivechildren,andfiveyearsspentamidthedearrosesofourlove,hewouldnothesitate。Hewouldtakemylove,suchasitis,anddeath。

  Whilehewaswhisperingthisinmyear,hisarmroundme,myheadrestingonhisshoulder,thecriesofabat,surprisedbyanowl,disturbedus。Thisdeath-crystruckmewithsuchterrorthatFelipecarriedmehalf-faintingtomybed。Butdon’tbealarmed!Thoughthisauguryofevilstillresoundsinmysoul,Iamquitemyselfthismorning。AssoonasIwasup,IwenttoFelipe,and,kneelingbeforehim,myeyesfixedonhis,hishandsclaspedinmine,Isaidtohim:——

  “Mylove,Iamachild,andReneemayberightafterall。ItmaybeonlyyourlovethatIloveinyou;butatleastIcanassureyouthatthisistheonefeelingofmyheart,andthatIloveyouasitisgivenmetolove。Butiftherebeaughtinme,inmylightestthoughtordeed,whichjarsonyourwishesorconceptionofme,Iimploreyoutotellme,tosaywhatitis。Itwillbeajoytometohearyouandtotakeyoureyesastheguiding-starsofmylife。Reneehasfrightenedme,forsheisatruefriend。“

  Macumercouldnotfindvoicetoreply,tearschokedhim。

  Icanthankyounow,Renee。ButforyourletterIshouldnothaveknownthedepthsofloveinmynoble,kinglyMacumer。Romeisthecityoflove;itistherethatpassionshouldcelebrateitsfeast,withartandreligionasconfederates。

  AtVeniceweshallfindtheDucandDuchessedeSoria。Ifyouwrite,addressnowtoParis,forweshallleaveRomeinthreedays。Theambassador’swasafarewellparty。

  P。S——Dear,sillychild,yourletteronlyshowsthatyouknewnothingoflove,excepttheoretically。Learnthenthatloveisaquickeningforcewhichmayproducefruitssodiversethatnotheorycanembraceorco-ordinatethem。AwordthisformylittleProfessorwithherarmorofstays。

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