第7章
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  Shewaswatchingabrownspanielthathadrunoutofaside-path,andwaslookingtowardsthemwithliftednose,makingasoft,fluffybark。

  Amanwithagunstrodeswiftly,softlyoutafterthedog,facingtheirwayasifabouttoattackthem;thenstoppedinstead,saluted,andwasturningdownhill。Itwasonlythenewgame-keeper,buthehadfrightenedConnie,heseemedtoemergewithsuchaswiftmenace。Thatwashowshehadseenhim,likethesuddenrushofathreatoutofnowhere。

  Hewasamanindarkgreenvelveteensandgaiters……theoldstyle,witharedfaceandredmoustacheanddistanteyes。Hewasgoingquicklydownhill。

  `Mellors!’calledClifford。

  Themanfacedlightlyround,andsalutedwithaquicklittlegesture,asoldier!

  `Willyouturnthechairroundandgetitstarted?Thatmakesiteasier,’

  saidClifford。

  Themanatonceslunghisgunoverhisshoulder,andcameforwardwiththesamecuriousswift,yetsoftmovements,asifkeepinginvisible。Hewasmoderatelytallandlean,andwassilent。HedidnotlookatConnieatall,onlyatthechair。

  `Connie,thisisthenewgame-keeper,Mellors。Youhaven’tspokentoherladyshipyet,Mellors?’

  `No,Sir!’cametheready,neutralwords。

  Themanliftedhishatashestood,showinghisthick,almostfairhair。

  HestaredstraightintoConnie’seyes,withaperfect,fearless,impersonallook,asifhewantedtoseewhatshewaslike。Hemadeherfeelshy。Shebentherheadtohimshyly,andhechangedhishattohislefthandandmadeheraslightbow,likeagentleman;buthesaidnothingatall。Heremainedforamomentstill,withhishatinhishand。

  `Butyou’vebeenheresometime,haven’tyou?’Conniesaidtohim。

  `Eightmonths,Madam……yourLadyship!’hecorrectedhimselfcalmly。

  `Anddoyoulikeit?’

  Shelookedhimintheeyes。Hiseyesnarrowedalittle,withirony,perhapswithimpudence。

  `Why,yes,thankyou,yourLadyship!Iwasrearedhere……’

  Hegaveanotherslightbow,turned,puthishaton,andstrodetotakeholdofthechair。Hisvoiceonthelastwordshadfallenintotheheavybroaddragofthedialect……perhapsalsoinmockery,becausetherehadbeennotraceofdialectbefore。Hemightalmostbeagentleman。Anyhow,hewasacurious,quick,separatefellow,alone,butsureofhimself。

  Cliffordstartedthelittleengine,themancarefullyturnedthechair,andsetitnose-forwardstotheinclinethatcurvedgentlytothedarkhazelthicket。

  `Isthatallthen,SirClifford?’askedtheman。

  `No,you’dbettercomealongincaseshesticks。Theengineisn’treallystrongenoughfortheuphillwork。’Themanglancedroundforhisdog……athoughtfulglance。Thespaniellookedathimandfaintlymoveditstail。

  Alittlesmile,mockingorteasingher,yetgentle,cameintohiseyesforamoment,thenfadedaway,andhisfacewasexpressionless。Theywentfairlyquicklydowntheslope,themanwithhishandontherailofthechair,steadyingit。Helookedlikeafreesoldierratherthanaservant。

  AndsomethingabouthimremindedConnieofTommyDukes。

  Whentheycametothehazelgrove,Conniesuddenlyranforward,andopenedthegateintothepark。Asshestoodholdingit,thetwomenlookedatherinpassing,Cliffordcritically,theothermanwithacurious,coolwonder;impersonallywantingtoseewhatshelookedlike。Andshesawinhisblue,impersonaleyesalookofsufferinganddetachment,yetacertainwarmth。Butwhywashesoaloof,apart?

  Cliffordstoppedthechair,oncethroughthegate,andthemancamequickly,courteously,tocloseit。

  `Whydidyouruntoopen?’askedCliffordinhisquiet,calmvoice,thatshowedhewasdispleased。`Mellorswouldhavedoneit。’

  `Ithoughtyouwouldgostraightahead,’saidConnie。`Andleaveyoutorunafterus?’saidClifford。

  `Oh,well,Iliketorunsometimes!’

  Mellorstookthechairagain,lookingperfectlyunheeding,yetConniefelthenotedeverything。Ashepushedthechairupthesteepishriseoftheknollinthepark,hebreathedratherquickly,throughpartedlips。

  Hewasratherfrailreally。Curiouslyfullofvitality,butalittlefrailandquenched。Herwoman’sinstinctsensedit。

  Conniefellback,letthechairgoon。Thedayhadgreyedover;thesmallblueskythathadpoisedlowonitscircularrimsofhazewasclosedinagain,thelidwasdown,therewasarawcoldness。Itwasgoingtosnow。

  Allgrey,allgrey!theworldlookedwornout。

  Thechairwaitedatthetopofthepinkpath。CliffordlookedroundforConnie。

  `Nottired,areyou?’hesaid。

  `Oh,no!’shesaid。

  Butshewas。Astrange,wearyyearning,adissatisfactionhadstartedinher。Clifforddidnotnotice:thosewerenotthingshewasawareof。

  Butthestrangerknew。ToConnie,everythinginherworldandlifeseemedwornout,andherdissatisfactionwasolderthanthehills。

  Theycametothehouse,andaroundtotheback,wheretherewerenosteps。Cliffordmanagedtoswinghimselfoverontothelow,wheeledhouse-chair;

  hewasverystrongandagilewithhisarms。ThenConnieliftedtheburdenofhisdeadlegsafterhim。

  Thekeeper,waitingatattentiontobedismissed,watchedeverythingnarrowly,missingnothing。Hewentpale,withasortoffear,whenhesawConnieliftingtheinertlegsofthemaninherarms,intotheotherchair,Cliffordpivotingroundasshedidso。Hewasfrightened。

  `Thanks,then,forthehelp,Mellors,’saidCliffordcasually,ashebegantowheeldownthepassagetotheservants’quarters。

  `Nothingelse,Sir?’cametheneutralvoice,likeoneinadream。

  `Nothing,goodmorning!’

  `Goodmorning,Sir。’

  `Goodmorning!itwaskindofyoutopushthechairupthathill……I

  hopeitwasn’theavyforyou,’saidConnie,lookingbackatthekeeperoutsidethedoor。

  Hiseyescametohersinaninstant,asifwakenedup。Hewasawareofher。

  `Ohno,notheavy!’hesaidquickly。Thenhisvoicedroppedagainintothebroadsoundofthevernacular:`Goodmornin’toyourLadyship!’

  `Whoisyourgame-keeper?’Connieaskedatlunch。

  `Mellors!Yousawhim,’saidClifford。

  `Yes,butwheredidhecomefrom?’

  `Nowhere!HewasaTevershallboy……sonofacollier,Ibelieve。’

  `Andwasheacollierhimself?’

  `Blacksmithonthepit-bank,Ibelieve:overheadsmith。Buthewaskeeperherefortwoyearsbeforethewar……beforehejoinedup。MyfatheralwayshadagoodOpinionofhim,sowhenhecameback,andwenttothepitforablacksmith’sjob,Ijusttookhimbackhereaskeeper。Iwasreallyverygladtogethim……itsalmostimpossibletofindagoodmanroundhereforagamekeeper……anditneedsamanwhoknowsthepeople。’

  `Andisn’themarried?’

  `Hewas。Buthiswifewentoffwith……withvariousmen……butfinallywithacollieratStacksGate,andIbelieveshe’slivingtherestill。’

  `Sothismanisalone?’

  `Moreorless!Hehasamotherinthevillage……andachild,Ibelieve。’

  CliffordlookedatConnie,withhispale,slightlyprominentblueeyes,inwhichacertainvaguenesswascoming。Heseemedalertintheforeground,butthebackgroundwasliketheMidlandsatmosphere,haze,smokymist。

  Andthehazeseemedtobecreepingforward。SowhenhestaredatConnieinhispeculiarway,givingherhispeculiar,preciseinformation,shefeltallthebackgroundofhismindfillingupwithmist,withnothingness。

  Anditfrightenedher。Itmadehimseemimpersonal,almosttoidiocy。

  Anddimlysherealizedoneofthegreatlawsofthehumansoul:thatwhentheemotionalsoulreceivesawoundingshock,whichdoesnotkillthebody,thesoulseemstorecoverasthebodyrecovers。Butthisisonlyappearance。Itisreallyonlythemechanismofthere-assumedhabit。Slowly,slowlythewoundtothesoulbeginstomakeitselffelt,likeabruise,whichOnlyslowlydeepensitsterribleache,tillitfillsallthepsyche。

  Andwhenwethinkwehaverecoveredandforgotten,itisthenthattheterribleafter-effectshavetobeencounteredattheirworst。

  SoitwaswithClifford。Oncehewas`well’,oncehewasbackatWragby,andwritinghisstories,andfeelingsureoflife,inspiteofall,heseemedtoforget,andtohaverecoveredallhisequanimity。Butnow,astheyearswentby,slowly,slowly,Conniefeltthebruiseoffearandhorrorcomingup,andspreadinginhim。Foratimeithadbeensodeepastobenumb,asitwerenon-existent。Nowslowlyitbegantoassertitselfinaspreadoffear,almostparalysis。Mentallyhestillwasalert。Buttheparalysis,thebruiseofthetoo-greatshock,wasgraduallyspreadinginhisaffectiveself。

  Andasitspreadinhim,Conniefeltitspreadinher。Aninwarddread,anemptiness,anindifferencetoeverythinggraduallyspreadinhersoul。

  WhenCliffordwasroused,hecouldstilltalkbrilliantlyand,asitwere,commandthefuture:aswhen,inthewood,hetalkedaboutherhavingachild,andgivinganheirtoWragby。Butthedayafter,allthebrilliantwordsseemedlikedeadleaves,crumplingupandturningtopowder,meaningreallynothing,blownawayonanygustofwind。Theywerenottheleafywordsofaneffectivelife,youngwithenergyandbelongingtothetree。

  Theywerethehostsoffallenleavesofalifethatisineffectual。

  Soitseemedtohereverywhere。ThecolliersatTevershallweretalkingagainofastrike,anditseemedtoConniethereagainitwasnotamanifestationofenergy,itwasthebruiseofthewarthathadbeeninabeyance,slowlyrisingtothesurfaceandcreatingthegreatacheofunrest,andstuporofdiscontent。Thebruisewasdeep,deep,deep……thebruiseofthefalseinhumanwar。Itwouldtakemanyyearsforthelivingbloodofthegenerationstodissolvethevastblackclotofbruisedblood,deepinsidetheirsoulsandbodies。Anditwouldneedanewhope。

  PoorConnie!AstheyearsdrewonitwasthefearofnothingnessInherlifethataffectedher。Clifford’smentallifeandhersgraduallybegantofeellikenothingness。Theirmarriage,theirintegratedlifebasedonahabitofintimacy,thathetalkedabout:thereweredayswhenitallbecameutterlyblankandnothing。Itwaswords,justsomanywords。Theonlyrealitywasnothingness,andoveritahypocrisyofwords。

  TherewasClifford’ssuccess:thebitch-goddess!Itwastruehewasalmostfamous,andhisbooksbroughthiminathousandpounds。Hisphotographappearedeverywhere。Therewasabustofhiminoneofthegalleries,andaportraitofhimintwogalleries。Heseemedthemostmodernofmodernvoices。Withhisuncannylameinstinctforpublicity,hehadbecomeinfourorfiveyearsoneofthebestknownoftheyoung`intellectuals’。

  Wheretheintellectcamein,Conniedidnotquitesee。Cliffordwasreallycleveratthatslightlyhumorousanalysisofpeopleandmotiveswhichleaveseverythinginbitsattheend。Butitwasratherlikepuppiestearingthesofacushionstobits;exceptthatitwasnotyoungandplayful,butcuriouslyold,andratherobstinatelyconceited。Itwasweirdanditwasnothing。

  Thiswasthefeelingthatechoedandre-echoedatthebottomofConnie’ssoul:itwasallflag,awonderfuldisplayofnothingness;Atthesametimeadisplay。Adisplay!adisplay!adisplay!

  MichaelishadseizeduponCliffordasthecentralfigureforaplay;

  alreadyhehadsketchedintheplot,andwrittenthefirstact。ForMichaeliswasevenbetterthanCliffordatmakingadisplayofnothingness。Itwasthelastbitofpassionleftinthesemen:thepassionformakingadisplay。

  Sexuallytheywerepassionless,evendead。AndnowitwasnotmoneythatMichaeliswasafter。Cliffordhadneverbeenprimarilyoutformoney,thoughhemadeitwherehecould,formoneyisthesealandstampofsuccess。

  Andsuccesswaswhattheywanted。Theywanted,bothofthem,tomakearealdisplay……aman’sownverydisplayofhimselfthatshouldcaptureforatimethevastpopulace。

  Itwasstrange……theprostitutiontothebitch-goddess。ToConnie,sinceshewasreallyoutsideofit,andsinceshehadgrownnumbtothethrillofit,itwasagainnothingness。Eventheprostitutiontothebitch-goddesswasnothingness,thoughthemenprostitutedthemselvesinnumerabletimes。

  Nothingnesseventhat。

  MichaeliswrotetoCliffordabouttheplay。Ofcoursesheknewaboutitlongago。AndCliffordwasagainthrilled。Hewasgoingtobedisplayedagainthistime,somebodywasgoingtodisplayhim,andtoadvantage。HeinvitedMichaelisdowntoWragbywithActI。

  Michaeliscame:insummer,inapale-colouredsuitandwhitesuedegloves,withmauveorchidsforConnie,verylovely,andActIwasagreatsuccess。

  EvenConniewasthrilled……thrilledtowhatbitofmarrowshehadleft。

  AndMichaelis,thrilledbyhispowertothrill,wasreallywonderful……andquitebeautiful,inConnie’seyes。Shesawinhimthatancientmotionlessnessofaracethatcan’tbedisillusionedanymore,anextreme,perhaps,ofimpuritythatispure。Onthefarsideofhissupremeprostitutiontothebitch-goddessheseemedpure,pureasanAfricanivorymaskthatdreamsimpurityintopurity,initsivorycurvesandplanes。

  HismomentofsheerthrillwiththetwoChatterleys,whenhesimplycarriedConnieandCliffordaway,wasoneofthesuprememomentsofMichaelis’

  life。Hehadsucceeded:hehadcarriedthemaway。EvenCliffordwastemporarilyinlovewithhim……ifthatisthewayonecanputit。

  SonextmorningMickwasmoreuneasythanever;restless,devoured,withhishandsrestlessinhistrouserspockets。Conniehadnotvisitedhiminthenight……andhehadnotknownwheretofindher。Coquetry!……athismomentoftriumph。

  Hewentuptohersitting-roominthemorning。Sheknewhewouldcome。

  Andhisrestlessnesswasevident。Heaskedherabouthisplay……didshethinkitgood?Hehadtohearitpraised:thataffectedhimwiththelastthinthrillofpassionbeyondanysexualorgasm。Andshepraiseditrapturously。

  Yetallthewhile,atthebottomofhersoul,sheknewitwasnothing。

  `Lookhere!’hesaidsuddenlyatlast。`Whydon’tyouandImakeacleanthingofit?Whydon’twemarry?’

  `ButIammarried,’shesaid,amazed,andyetfeelingnothing。

  `Ohthat!……he’lldivorceyouallright……Whydon’tyouandImarry?

  Iwanttomarry。Iknowitwouldbethebestthingforme……marryandleadaregularlife。Ileadthedeuceofalife,simplytearingmyselftopieces。

  Lookhere,youandI,we’remadeforoneanother……handandglove。Whydon’twemarry?Doyouseeanyreasonwhyweshouldn’t?’

  Connielookedathimamazed:andyetshefeltnothing。Thesemen,theywereallalike,theylefteverythingout。Theyjustwentofffromthetopoftheirheadsasiftheyweresquibs,andexpectedyoutobecarriedheavenwardsalongwiththeirownthinsticks。

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