第105章
加入书架 A- A+
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  Withherownlittlehandsshecutoff,astenderlyasapearispeeled,thebridal-dress,sosteepedandstained,andthenwithherdaintytransparentfingersnolargerthanapencilsheprobedthevilewoundintheside,andfetchedthereekingbulletforth;andthenwiththecoldestwaterstanchedtheflowingofthelife-blood。Allthiswhilemydarlinglayinsensible,andwhiteasdeath;andneedednothingbuthermaidenshroud。

  ButRuthstillspongedthepoorsideandforehead,andwatchedthelongeyelashesflatuponthemarblecheek;

  andlaidherpurefaceonthefaintheart,andbadethemfetchherSpanishwine。Thenshepartedthepearlyteethfeeblyclenchedonthehoveringbreath,andpouredinwinefromachristeningspoon,andraisedthegracefulneckandbreast,andstrokedthedelicatethroat,andwaited;andthenpouredinalittlemore。

  Annieallthewhilelookedonwithhorrorandamazement,countingherselfnosecond-ratenurse,andthisasagainstalltheory。ButthequietliftingofRuth’shand,andoneglancefromherdarkbrighteyes,toldAnniejusttostandaway,andnotintercepttheairso。AndattheverymomentwhenalltheresthadsettledthatRuthwasasimpleidiot,butcouldnotharmthedeadmuch,alittleflutterinthethroat,followedbyashortlowsigh,madethempause,andlookandhope。

  Forhours,however,anddays,shelayattheveryvergeofdeath,keptalivebynothingbutthecare,theskill,thetenderness,andtheperpetualwatchfulnessofRuth。LuckilyAnniewasnotthereveryoften,soastomeddle;forkindandclevernurseasshewas,shemusthavedonemoreharmthangood。Butmybrokenrib,whichwassetbyadoctor,whochancedtobeatthewedding,wasallottedtoAnnie’scare;andgreatinflammationensuing,itwasquiteenoughtocontenther。ThisdoctorhadpronouncedpoorLornadead;

  whereforeRuthrefusedmostfirmlytohaveaughttodowithhim。Shetookthewholecaseonherself;andwithGod’shelpsheboreitthrough。

  NowwhetheritwerethelightandbrightnessofmyLorna’snature;orthefreedomfromanxiety——forsheknewnotofmyhurt;——or,assomepeoplesaid,herbirthrightamongwoundsandviolence,orhermannerofnotdrinkingbeer——Ileavethatdoctortodeterminewhopronouncedherdead。Butanyhow,onethingiscertain;

  sureasstarsofhopeaboveus;Lornarecovered,longereIdid。

  Forthegriefwasonmestillofhavinglostmyloveandloveratthemomentshewasmine。Withthepoweroffateuponme,andtheblackcauldronofthewizard’sdeathboilinginmyheatedbrain,Ihadnofaithinthetalestheytold。IbelievedthatLornawasinthechurchyard,whiletheserogueswerelyingtome。Forwithstrengthofbloodlikemine,andpowerofheartbehindit,abrokenbonemustburnitself。

  Minewenthardwithfiresofpain,beingofsuchsizeandthickness;andIwasashamedofhimforbreakingbyreasonofapistol-ball,andthemerehugofaman。

  Anditfetchedmedowninconceitofstrength;sothatIwascarefulafterwards。

  Allthiswasalessontome。Allthismademeveryhumble;illnessbeingathing,asyet,altogetherunknowntome。NotthatIcriedsmall,orskulked,orfearedthedeathwhichsomeforetold;shakingtheirheadsaboutmortification,andagreenappearance。

  OnlythatIseemedquitefittogotoheaven,andLorna。Forinmysickdistractedmindstirredwithmanytossings,likethebeadinthespreadoffrog-spawncarriedbythecurrent,hungtheblackandcentralessenceofmyfuturelife。AlifewithoutLorna;atadpolelife。Allstupidhead;andnobody。

  Manymenmaylikesuchlife;anchorites,fakirs,high-priests,andsoon;buttomymind,itisnotthenativethingGodmeantforus。Mydearestmotherwasashow,withcryingandwithfretting。TheDoones,asshethought,wereborntodestroyus。Scarcehadshecometosomelivelinessthoughsprinkledwithtears,everynowandthenafterhergreatbereavement,andtenyears’timetodwellonit——whenlo,herewasherhusband’sson,thepetchildofherowngoodJohn,murderedlikehisfather!Well,thewaysofGodwerewonderful!

  Sotheywere,andsotheyare;andsotheyeverwillbe。Letusdebatethemaswewill,arewaysareHis,andmuchthesame;onlysecond-handfromHim。AndI

  expectedsomethingfromHim,eveninmyworstoftimes,knowingthatIhaddonemybest。

  Thisisnotedifyingtalk——asourNonconformistparsonsays,whenhecangetnomoretodrink——thereforeletmeonlytellwhatbecameofLorna。Oneday,Iwassittinginmybedroom,forIcouldnotgetdownstairs,andtherewasnoonestrongenoughtocarryme,evenifIwouldhaveallowedit。

  Thoughitcostmesoretroubleandweariness,IhadputonallmySundayclothes,outofrespectforthedoctor,whowascomingtobleedmeagainashealwaysdidtwiceaweek;anditstruckmethathehadseemedhurtinhismind,becauseIworemyworstclothestobebledin——forlieinbedIwouldnot,aftersixo’clock;

  andeventhatwasgreatlaziness。

  Ilookedatmyrighthand,whosegrasphadbeenlikethatofablacksmith’svice;anditseemedtomyselfimpossiblethatthiscouldbeJohnRidd’s。Thegreatframeofthehandwasthere,aswellasthemuscles,standingforthlikethegutteringofacandle,andthebroadblueveins,goinguptheback,andcrossingeveryfinger。Butasforcolour,evenLorna’scouldscarcelyhavebeenwhiter;andasforstrength,littleEnsieDoonemighthavecomeandhelditfast。IlaughedasI

  triedinvaintoliftthebasinsetforbleedingme。

  ThenIthoughtofallthelovelythingsgoingonout-of-doorsjustnow,concerningwhichthedrowsysongofthebeescametome。Thesemustbeamongthethyme,bythesoundoftheirgreatcontent。Thereforetherosesmustbeinblossom,andthewoodbine,andclove-gilly-flower;thecherriesonthewallmustbeturningred,theyellowSallymustbeonthebrook,wheatmustbecallowwithquaveringbloom,andtheearlymeadowsswathedwithhay。

  YetherewasI,ahelplesscreaturequiteunfittostiramongthem,giftedwithnosight,noscentofallthechangesthatmoveourlove,andleadourhearts,frommonthtomonth,alongthequietpathoflife。Andwhatwasworse,Ihadnohopeofcaringeverforthemmore。

  Presentlyalittleknocksoundedthroughmygloomyroom,andsupposingittobethedoctor,Itriedtoriseandmakemybow。ButtomysurpriseitwaslittleRuth,whohadneveroncecometovisitme,sinceIwasplacedunderthedoctor’shands。Ruthwasdressedsogaily,withrosettes,andflowers,andwhatnot,thatIwassorryforherbadmanners;andthoughtshewascometoconquerme,nowthatLornawasdonewith。

  Ruthrantowardsmewithsparklingeyes,beingrathershortofsight;thensuddenlyshestopped,andIsawentireamazementinherface。

  ’Canyoureceivevisitors,CousinRidd?——why,theynevertoldmeofthis!’shecried:’Iknewthatyouwereweak,dearJohn;butnotthatyouweredying。

  Whateveristhatbasinfor?’

  ’Ihavenointentionofdying,Ruth;andIlikenottotalkaboutit。Butthatbasin,ifyoumustknow,isforthedoctor’spurpose。’

  ’What,doyoumeanbleedingyou?Youpoorweakcousin!

  Isitpossiblethathedoesthatstill?’

  ’Twiceaweekforthelastsixweeks,dear。Nothingelsehaskeptmealive。’

  ’Nothingelsehaskilledyou,nearly。There!’andshesetherlittlebootacrossthebasin,andcrushedit。

  ’Notanotherdropshalltheyhavefromyou。IsAnniesuchafoolasthat?AndLizzie,likeazany,atherbooks!Andkillingherbrother,betweenthem!’

  IwassurprisedtoseeRuthexcited;hercharacterbeingsocalmandquiet。AndItriedtosootheherwithmyfeeblehand,asnowshekneltbeforeme。

  ’Dearcousin,thedoctormustknowbest。Anniesaysso,everyday。Whathashebeenbroughtupfor?’

  ’Broughtupforslayingandmurdering。TwentydoctorskilledKingCharles,inspiteofallthewomen。Willyouleaveittome,John?Ihavealittlewillofmyown;andIamnotafraidofdoctors。Willyouleaveittome,dearJohn?IhavesavedyourLorna’slife。AndnowIwillsaveyours;whichisafar,fareasierbusiness。’

  ’YouhavesavedmyLorna’slife!Whatdoyoumeanbytalkingso?’

  ’OnlywhatIsay,CousinJohn。ThoughperhapsI

  overprizemywork。Butatanyrateshesaysso。’

  ’Idonotunderstand,’Isaid,fallingbackwithbewilderment;’allwomenaresuchliars。’

  ’Haveyoueverknownmetellalie?’Ruthingreatindignation——morefeigned,Idoubt,thanreal——’yourmothermaytellastory,nowandthenwhenshefeelsitright;andsomaybothyoursisters。Butsoyoucannotdo,JohnRidd;andnomorethanyoucanIdoit。’

  Ifevertherewasvirtuoustruthintheeyesofanywoman,itwasnowinRuthHuckaback’s:andmybrainbeganveryslowlytomove,theheartbeingalmosttorpidfromperpetuallossofblood。

  ’Idonotunderstand,’wasallIcouldsayforaverylongtime。

  ’Willyouunderstand,ifIshowyouLorna?Ihavefearedtodoit,forthesakeofyouboth。ButnowLornaiswellenough,ifyouthinkthatyouare,CousinJohn。Surelyyouwillunderstand,whenyouseeyourwife。’

  Followingher,totheveryutmostofmymindandheart,Ifeltthatallshesaidwastruth;andyetIcouldnotmakeitout。Andinherlastfewwordstherewassuchapowerofsadnessrisingthroughthecoverofgaiety,thatIsaidtomyself,halfinadream,’Ruthisverybeautiful。’

  BeforeIhadtimetolistenmuchfortheapproachoffootsteps,Ruthcameback,andbehindherLorna;coyasifofherbridegroom;andhangingbackwithherbeauty。

  Ruthbangedthedoor,andranaway;andLornastoodbeforeme。

  Butshedidnotstandforaninstant,whenshesawwhatIwaslike。Attheriskofallthickbandages,andupsettingadozenmedicinebottles,andscatteringleechesrightandleft,shemanagedtogetintomyarms,althoughtheycouldnotholdher。Shelaidherpantingwarmyoungbreastontheplacewheretheymeanttobleedme,andshesetmypalefaceup;andshewouldnotlookatme,havinggreaterfaithinkissing。

  Ifeltmylifecomeback,andwarm;Ifeltmytrustinwomenflow;Ifeltthejoysoflivingnow,andthepowerofdoingit。Itisnotamomenttodescribe;whofeelscannevertellofit。ButtherushofLorna’stears,andthechallengeofmybride’slips,andthethrobbingofmywife’sheartnowatlastathomeonmine,mademefeelthattheworldwasgood,andnotathingtobewearyof。

  LittlemorehaveItotell。Thedoctorwasturnedoutatonce;andslowlycamebackmyformerstrength,withadarlingwife,andgoodvictuals。AsforLorna,shenevertiredofsittingandwatchingmeeatandeat。

  Andsuchisherheartthatshenevertiresofbeingwithmehereandthere,amongthebeautifulplaces,andtalkingwithherarmaroundme——sofaratleastasitcango,thoughhalfofminemaygoroundher——ofthemanyfearsandtroubles,dangersanddiscouragements,andworstofallthebitterpartings,whichweusedtohave,somehow。

  Thereisnoneedformyfarmingharderthanbecomesamanofweight。Lornahasgreatstoresofmoney,thoughweneverdrawitout,exceptforsomepoorneighbor;

  unlessIfindherasumptuousdress,outofherownperquisites。Andthisshealwayslooksuponasawondrousgiftfromme;andkissesmemuchwhensheputsiton,andwalkslikethenoblewomansheis。AndyetImayneverbeholditagain;forshegetsbacktohersimpleclothes,andIloveherthebetterinthem。I

  believethatshegiveshalfthegrandeuraway,andkeepstheotherhalfforthechildren。

  AsforpoorTomFaggus,everyoneknowshisbitteradventures,whenhispardonwasrecalled,becauseofhisjourneytoSedgemoor。Notachildinthecountry,Idoubt,butknowsfarmorethanIdoofTom’smostdesperatedoings。Thelawhadruinedhimonce,hesaid;andthenhehadbeentoomuchforthelaw:andnowthataquietlifewashisobject,herethebasethingcameafterhim。Andsuchwashisdreadofthisevilspirit,thatbeingcaughtuponBarnstapleBridge,withsoldiersateitherendofityetdoubtfulaboutapproachinghim,hesethisstrawberrymare,sweetWinnie,attheleft-handparapet,withawhisperintoherdove-colouredear。Withoutamoment’sdoubtsheleapedit,intothefoamingtide,andswam,andlandedaccordingtoorders。Alsohisflightfromapublic-housewhereatrapwassetforhim,butWinniecameandbrokedownthedoor,andputtwomenunder,andtrodonthem,isaswellknownasanyballad。ItwasreportedforawhilethatpoorTomhadbeencaughtatlast,bymeansofhisfondnessforliquor,andwashangedbeforeTauntonJail;butluckilyweknewbetter。

  Withagoodwife,andawonderfulhorse,andallthecountryattachedtohim,hekeptthelawatawholesomedistance,untilitbecametoomuchforitsmaster;andanewkingarose。Uponthis,Tomsuedhispardonafresh;andJeremyStickles,whosuitedthetimes,wasgladtohelphimingettingit,aswellasacompensation。ThereafterthegoodandrespectableTomlivedagodlythoughnotalwayssoberlife;andbroughtuphischildrentohonesty,asthefirstofallqualifications。

  Mydearmotherwasashappyaspossiblyneedbewithus;havingnocauseforjealousy,asothersarosearoundher。Andeverybodywaswellpleased,whenLizzycameinonedayandtossedherbookshelfover,anddeclaredthatshewouldhaveCaptainBloxham,andnobodyshouldpreventher。Forthathealone,ofallthemenshehadevermetwith,knewgoodwritingwhenhesawit,andcouldspellawordwhentold。AshehadnowsucceededtoCaptainStickle’spositionSticklesgoingupthetree,andhadthepowerofcollecting,andofkeeping,whatheliked,therewasnothingtobesaidagainstit;andwehopedthathewouldpayherout。

  IsentlittleEnsietoBlundell’sschool,atmyowncostandcharges,havingchangedhisname,forfearofwhatanyonemightdotohim。IcalledhimEnsieJones;

  andwegothimacommission,andaftermanyscrapesofspirit,hedidgreatthingsintheLowCountries。Helooksuponmeashisfather;andwithoutmyleavewillnotlayclaimtotheheritageandtitleoftheDoones,whichclearlybelongtohim。

  RuthHuckabackisnotmarriedyet;althoughuponUncleReuben’sdeathshecameintoallhisproperty;except,indeed,2000pounds,whichUncleBen,inhisdriestmanner,bequeathed’toSirJohnRidd,theworshipfulknight,forgreasingofthetestator’sboots。’Andheleftalmostamintofmoney,notfromthemine,butfromtheshop,andthegooduseofusury。Fortheminehadbroughtinjustwhatitcost,whentheveinofgoldendedsuddenly;leavingallconcernedmucholder,andsome,Ifear,muchpoorer;butnooneutterlyruined,asisthecasewithmostofthem。Ruthherselfwashistruemine,asupondeath-bedhefound。Iknowamanevenworthyofher:andthoughsheisnotveryyoung,helovesher,asIloveLorna。Itismyfirmconviction,thatintheendhewillwinher;andIdonotmeantodanceagain,exceptatdearRuth’swedding;

  ifthefloorbestrongenough。

  OfLorna,ofmylifelongdarling,ofmymoreandmorelovedwife,Iwillnottalk;foritisnotseemlythatamanshouldexalthispride。Yearbyyearherbeautygrows,withthegrowthofgoodness,kindness,andtruehappiness——aboveallwithloving。Forchange,shemakesajokeofthis,andplayswithit,andlaughsatit;andthen,whenmyslownaturemarvels,backshecomestotheearnestthing。AndifIwishtopayheroutforsomethingverydreadful——asmayhappenonceortwice,whenwebecometoogladsome——Ibringhertoforgottensadness,andtomeforcureofit,bythetwowords’LornaDoone。’

  End

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