第39章
加入书架 A- A+
点击下载App,搜索"Twelve Stories and a Dream",免费读到尾

  “Theairwasfullofmusic,fullofharmoniousscents,fulloftherhythmofbeautifulmotions。Thousandsofbeautifulpeopleswarmedaboutthehall,crowdedthegalleries,satinamyriadrecesses;theyweredressedinsplendidcoloursandcrownedwithflowers;thousandsdancedaboutthegreatcirclebeneaththewhiteimagesoftheancientgods,andgloriousprocessionsofyouthsandmaidenscameandwent。Wetwodanced,notthedrearymonotoniesofyourdays——ofthistime,Imean——butdancesthatwerebeautiful,intoxicating。AndevennowIcanseemyladydancing——

  dancingjoyously。Shedanced,youknow,withaseriousface;shedancedwithaseriousdignity,andyetshewassmilingatmeandcaressingme——smilingandcaressingwithhereyes。

  “Themusicwasdifferent,“hemurmured。“Itwent——Icannotdescribeit;butitwasinfinitelyricherandmorevariedthananymusicthathasevercometomeawake。

  “Andthen——itwaswhenwehaddonedancing——amancametospeaktome。Hewasalean,resoluteman,verysoberlycladforthatplace,andalreadyIhadmarkedhisfacewatchingmeinthebreakfastinghall,andafterwardsaswewentalongthepassageIhadavoidedhiseye。Butnow,aswesatinalittlealcove,smilingatthepleasureofallthepeoplewhowenttoandfroacrosstheshiningfloor,hecameandtouchedme,andspoketomesothatIwasforcedtolisten。

  Andheaskedthathemightspeaktomeforalittletimeapart。

  “’No,’Isaid。’Ihavenosecretsfromthislady。Whatdoyouwanttotellme?’

  “Hesaiditwasatrivialmatter,oratleastadrymatter,foraladytohear。

  “’Perhapsformetohear,’saidI。

  “Heglancedather,asthoughalmosthewouldappealtoher。ThenheaskedmesuddenlyifIhadheardofagreatandavengingdeclarationthatEveshamhadmade。Now,Eveshamhadalwaysbeforebeenthemannexttomyselfintheleadershipofthatgreatpartyinthenorth。

  Hewasaforcible,hardandtactlessman,andonlyIhadbeenabletocontrolandsoftenhim。Itwasonhisaccountevenmorethanmyown,Ithink,thattheothershadbeensodismayedatmyretreat。

  SothisquestionaboutwhathehaddonereawakenedmyoldinterestinthelifeIhadputasidejustforamoment。

  “’Ihavetakennoheedofanynewsformanydays,’Isaid。’WhathasEveshambeensaying?’

  “Andwiththatthemanbegan,nothingloath,andImustconfessevenIwasstruckbyEvesham’srecklessfollyinthewildandthreateningwordshehadused。AndthismessengertheyhadsenttomenotonlytoldmeofEvesham’sspeech,butwentontoaskcounselandtopointoutwhatneedtheyhadofme。Whilehetalked,myladysatalittleforwardandwatchedhisfaceandmine。

  “Myoldhabitsofschemingandorganisingreassertedthemselves。

  Icouldevenseemyselfsuddenlyreturningtothenorth,andallthedramaticeffectofit。Allthatthismansaidwitnessedtothedisorderofthepartyindeed,butnottoitsdamage。IshouldgobackstrongerthanIhadcome。AndthenIthoughtofmylady。

  Yousee——howcanItellyou?Therewerecertainpeculiaritiesofourrelationship——asthingsareIneednottellyouaboutthat——whichwouldrenderherpresencewithmeimpossible。Ishouldhavehadtoleaveher;indeed,Ishouldhavehadtorenounceherclearlyandopenly,ifIwastodoallthatIcoulddointhenorth。AndthemanknewTHAT,evenashetalkedtoherandme,knewitaswellasshedid,thatmystepstodutywere——first,separation,thenabandonment。Atthetouchofthatthoughtmydreamofareturnwasshattered。Iturnedonthemansuddenly,ashewasimagininghiseloquencewasgaininggroundwithme。

  “’WhathaveItodowiththesethingsnow?’Isaid。’Ihavedonewiththem。DoyouthinkIamcoquettingwithyourpeopleincominghere?’

  “’No,’hesaid;’but——’

  “’Whycannotyouleavemealone?Ihavedonewiththesethings。

  Ihaveceasedtobeanythingbutaprivateman。’

  “’Yes,’heanswered。’Buthaveyouthought?——thistalkofwar,theserecklesschallenges,thesewildaggressions——’

  “Istoodup。

  “’No,’Icried。’Iwon’thearyou。Itookcountofallthosethings,Iweighedthem——andIhavecomeaway。’

  “Heseemedtoconsiderthepossibilityofpersistence。Helookedfrommetowheretheladysatregardingus。

  “’War,’hesaid,asifhewerespeakingtohimself,andthenturnedslowlyfrommeandwalkedaway。Istood,caughtinthewhirlofthoughtshisappealhadsetgoing。

  “Iheardmylady’svoice。

  “’Dear,’shesaid;’butiftheyhaveneedofyou——’

  “Shedidnotfinishhersentence,sheletitrestthere。Iturnedtohersweetface,andthebalanceofmymoodswayedandreeled。

  “’Theywantmeonlytodothethingtheydarenotdothemselves,’I

  said。’IftheydistrustEveshamtheymustsettlewithhimthemselves。’

  “Shelookedatmedoubtfully。

  “’Butwar——’shesaid。

  “IsawadoubtonherfacethatIhadseenbefore,adoubtofherselfandme,thefirstshadowofthediscoverythat,seenstronglyandcompletely,mustdriveusapartforever。

  “Now,Iwasanoldermindthanhers,andIcouldswayhertothisbelieforthat。

  “’Mydearone,’Isaid,’youmustnottroubleoverthesethings。

  Therewillbenowar。Certainlytherewillbenowar。Theageofwarsispast。Trustmetoknowthejusticeofthiscase。Theyhavenorightuponme,dearest,andnoonehasarightuponme。

  Ihavebeenfreetochoosemylife,andIhavechosenthis。’

  “’ButWAR——’shesaid。

  “Isatdownbesideher。Iputanarmbehindherandtookherhandinmine。Isetmyselftodrivethatdoubtaway——Isetmyselftofillhermindwithpleasantthingsagain。Iliedtoher,andinlyingtoherIliedalsotomyself。Andshewasonlytooreadytobelieveme,onlytooreadytoforget。

  “Verysoontheshadowhadgoneagain,andwewerehasteningtoourbathing-placeintheGrottadelBovoMarino,whereitwasourcustomtobatheeveryday。Weswamandsplashedoneanother,andinthatbuoyantwaterIseemedtobecomesomethinglighterandstrongerthanaman。Andatlastwecameoutdrippingandrejoicingandracedamongtherocks。AndthenIputonadrybathing-dress,andwesattobaskinthesun,andpresentlyInodded,restingmyheadagainstherknee,andsheputherhanduponmyhairandstrokeditsoftlyandIdozed。Andbehold!asitwerewiththesnappingofthestringofaviolin,Iwasawakening,andIwasinmyownbedinLiverpool,inthelifeofto-day。

  “OnlyforatimeIcouldnotbelievethatallthesevividmomentshadbeennomorethanthesubstanceofadream。

  “Intruth,Icouldnotbelieveitadreamforallthesoberingrealityofthingsaboutme。Ibathedanddressedasitwerebyhabit,andasIshavedIarguedwhyIofallmenshouldleavethewomanIlovedtogobacktofantasticpoliticsinthehardandstrenuousnorth。EvenifEveshamdidforcetheworldbacktowar,whatwasthattome?Iwasaman,withtheheartofaman,andwhyshouldIfeeltheresponsibilityofadeityforthewaytheworldmightgo?

  “YouknowthatisnotquitethewayIthinkaboutaffairs,aboutmyrealaffairs。Iamasolicitor,youknow,withapointofview。

  “Thevisionwassoreal,youmustunderstand,soutterlyunlikeadreamthatIkeptperpetuallyrecallinglittleirrelevantdetails;

  eventheornamentofabook-coverthatlayonmywife’ssewing-machineinthebreakfast-roomrecalledwiththeutmostvividnessthegiltlinethatranabouttheseatinthealcovewhereIhadtalkedwiththemessengerfrommydesertedparty。Haveyoueverheardofadreamthathadaqualitylikethat?“

  “Like——?“

  “Sothatafterwardsyourememberedlittledetailsyouhadforgotten。“

  Ithought。Ihadnevernoticedthepointbefore,buthewasright。

  “Never,“Isaid。“Thatiswhatyouneverseemtodowithdreams。“

  “No,“heanswered。“ButthatisjustwhatIdid。Iamasolicitor,youmustunderstand,inLiverpool,andIcouldnothelpwonderingwhattheclientsandbusinesspeopleIfoundmyselftalkingtoinmyofficewouldthinkifItoldthemsuddenlyIwasinlovewithagirlwhowouldbebornacoupleofhundredyearsorsohence,andworriedaboutthepoliticsofmygreat-great-great-grandchildren。

  Iwaschieflybusythatdaynegotiatinganinety-nine-yearbuildinglease。Itwasaprivatebuilderinahurry,andwewantedtotiehimineverypossibleway。Ihadaninterviewwithhim,andheshowedacertainwantoftemperthatsentmetobedstillirritated。ThatnightIhadnodream。NordidIdreamthenextnight,atleast,toremember。

  “Somethingofthatintenserealityofconvictionvanished。IbegantofeelsureitWASadream。Andthenitcameagain。

点击下载App,搜索"Twelve Stories and a Dream",免费读到尾