第38章
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  “Iwokeup,Isay,becausethegirlhadstoppedfanningme。Iwasnotsurprisedtofindmyselfthereoranythingofthatsort,youunderstand。IdidnotfeelIhadfallenintoitsuddenly。Isimplytookitupatthatpoint。WhatevermemoryIhadofTHISlife,thisnineteenth-centurylife,fadedasIwoke,vanishedlikeadream。Iknewallaboutmyself,knewthatmynamewasnolongerCooperbutHedon,andallaboutmypositionintheworld。I’veforgottenalotsinceIwoke——there’sawantofconnection——butitwasallquiteclearandmatteroffactthen。“

  Hehesitatedagain,grippingthewindowstrap,puttinghisfaceforwardandlookingupatmeappealingly。

  “Thisseemsboshtoyou?“

  “No,no!“Icried。“Goon。Tellmewhatthisloggiawaslike。“

  “Itwasnotreallyaloggia——Idon’tknowwhattocallit。Itfacedsouth。Itwassmall。Itwasallinshadowexceptthesemicircleabovethebalconythatshowedtheskyandseaandthecornerwherethegirlstood。Iwasonacouch——itwasametalcouchwithlightstripedcushions-andthegirlwasleaningoverthebalconywithherbacktome。Thelightofthesunrisefellonherearandcheek。

  Herprettywhiteneckandthelittlecurlsthatnestledthere,andherwhiteshoulderwereinthesun,andallthegraceofherbodywasinthecoolblueshadow。Shewasdressed——howcanIdescribeit?Itwaseasyandflowing。Andaltogetherthereshestood,sothatitcametomehowbeautifulanddesirableshewas,asthoughIhadneverseenherbefore。AndwhenatlastIsighedandraisedmyselfuponmyarmsheturnedherfacetome——“

  Hestopped。

  “Ihavelivedthree-and-fiftyyearsinthisworld。Ihavehadmother,sisters,friends,wife,anddaughters——alltheirfaces,theplayoftheirfaces,Iknow。Butthefaceofthisgirl——itismuchmorerealtome。IcanbringitbackintomemorysothatIseeitagain——Icoulddrawitorpaintit。Andafterall——“

  Hestopped——butIsaidnothing。

  “Thefaceofadream——thefaceofadream。Shewasbeautiful。Notthatbeautywhichisterrible,cold,andworshipful,likethebeautyofasaint;northatbeautythatstirsfiercepassions;butasortofradiation,sweetlipsthatsoftenedintosmiles,andgravegreyeyes。Andshemovedgracefully,sheseemedtohavepartwithallpleasantandgraciousthings——“

  Hestopped,andhisfacewasdowncastandhidden。Thenhelookedupatmeandwenton,makingnofurtherattempttodisguisehisabsolutebeliefintherealityofhisstory。

  “Yousee,Ihadthrownupmyplansandambitions,thrownupallIhadeverworkedforordesiredforhersake。Ihadbeenamastermanawaythereinthenorth,withinfluenceandpropertyandagreatreputation,butnoneofithadseemedworthhavingbesideher。

  Ihadcometotheplace,thiscityofsunnypleasures,withher,andleftallthosethingstowreckandruinjusttosavearemnantatleastofmylife。WhileIhadbeeninlovewithherbeforeIknewthatshehadanycareforme,beforeIhadimaginedthatshewoulddare——thatweshoulddare,allmylifehadseemedvainandhollow,dustandashes。ItWASdustandashes。NightafternightandthroughthelongdaysIhadlongedanddesired——mysoulhadbeatenagainstthethingforbidden!

  “Butitisimpossibleforonemantotellanotherjustthesethings。

  It’semotion,it’satint,alightthatcomesandgoes。Onlywhileit’sthere,everythingchanges,everything。ThethingisIcameawayandleftthemintheirCrisistodowhattheycould。“

  “Leftwhom?“Iasked,puzzled。

  “Thepeopleupinthenorththere。Yousee——inthisdream,anyhow——

  Ihadbeenabigman,thesortofmanmencometotrustin,togroupthemselvesabout。Millionsofmenwhohadneverseenmewerereadytodothingsandriskthingsbecauseoftheirconfidenceinme。

  Ihadbeenplayingthatgameforyears,thatbiglaboriousgame,thatvague,monstrouspoliticalgameamidstintriguesandbetrayals,speechandagitation。Itwasavastwelteringworld,andatlastIhadasortofleadershipagainsttheGang——youknowitwascalledtheGang——asortofcompromiseofscoundrellyprojectsandbaseambitionsandvastpublicemotionalstupiditiesandcatchwords——

  theGangthatkepttheworldnoisyandblindyearbyyear,andallthewhilethatitwasdrifting,driftingtowardsinfinitedisaster。

  ButIcan’texpectyoutounderstandtheshadesandcomplicationsoftheyear——theyearsomethingorotherahead。Ihaditalldowntothesmallestdetails——inmydream。IsupposeIhadbeendreamingofitbeforeIawoke,andthefadingoutlineofsomequeernewdevelopmentIhadimaginedstillhungaboutmeasIrubbedmyeyes。

  ItwassomegrubbyaffairthatmademethankGodforthesunlight。

  Isatuponthecouchandremainedlookingatthewomanandrejoicing——

  rejoicingthatIhadcomeawayoutofallthattumultandfollyandviolencebeforeitwastoolate。Afterall,Ithought,thisislife——loveandbeauty,desireanddelight,aretheynotworthallthosedismalstrugglesforvague,giganticends?AndIblamedmyselfforhavingeversoughttobealeaderwhenImighthavegivenmydaystolove。Butthen,thoughtI,ifIhadnotspentmyearlydayssternlyandausterely,Imighthavewastedmyselfuponvainandworthlesswomen,andatthethoughtallmybeingwentoutinloveandtendernesstomydearmistress,mydearlady,whohadcomeatlastandcompelledme——compelledmebyherinvinciblecharmforme——tolaythatlifeaside。

  “’Youareworthit,’Isaid,speakingwithoutintendinghertohear;

  ’youareworthit,mydearestone;worthprideandpraiseandallthings。Love!tohaveYOUisworththemalltogether。’Andatthemurmurofmyvoicesheturnedabout。

  “’Comeandsee,’shecried——Icanhearhernow——’comeandseethesunriseuponMonteSolaro。’

  “IrememberhowIsprangtomyfeetandjoinedheratthebalcony。

  Sheputawhitehanduponmyshoulderandpointedtowardsgreatmassesoflimestone,flushing,asitwere,intolife。Ilooked。

  ButfirstInotedthesunlightonherfacecaressingthelinesofhercheeksandneck。HowcanIdescribetoyouthescenewehadbeforeus?WewereatCapri——“

  “Ihavebeenthere,“Isaid。“IhaveclamberedupMonteSolaroanddrunkveroCapri——muddystufflikecider——atthesummit。“

  “Ah!“saidthemanwiththewhiteface;“thenperhapsyoucantellme——youwillknowifthiswasindeedCapri。ForinthislifeIhaveneverbeenthere。Letmedescribeit。Wewereinalittleroom,oneofavastmultitudeoflittlerooms,verycoolandsunny,hollowedoutofthelimestoneofasortofcape,veryhighabovethesea。

  Thewholeisland,youknow,wasoneenormoushotel,complexbeyondexplaining,andontheothersidethereweremilesoffloatinghotels,andhugefloatingstagestowhichtheflyingmachinescame。Theycalleditapleasurecity。Ofcourse,therewasnoneofthatinyourtimerather,Ishouldsay,ISnoneofthatNOW。Ofcourse。Now!——yes。

  “Well,thisroomofourswasattheextremityofthecape,sothatonecouldseeeastandwest。Eastwardwasagreatcliff——athousandfeethighperhaps——coldlygreyexceptforonebrightedgeofgold,andbeyondittheIsleoftheSirens,andafallingcoastthatfadedandpassedintothehotsunrise。Andwhenoneturnedtothewest,distinctandnearwasalittlebay,alittlebeachstillinshadow。AndoutofthatshadowroseSolarostraightandtall,flushedandgoldencrested,likeabeautythroned,andthewhitemoonwasfloatingbehindherinthesky。Andbeforeusfromeasttoweststretchedthemany-tintedseaalldottedwithlittlesailingboats。

  “Totheeastward,ofcourse,theselittleboatsweregreyandveryminuteandclear,buttothewestwardtheywerelittleboatsofgold——

  shininggold——almostlikelittleflames。Andjustbelowuswasarockwithanarchwornthroughit。Thebluesea-waterbroketogreenandfoamallroundtherock,andagalleycameglidingoutofthearch。“

  “Iknowthatrock,“Isaid。“Iwasnearlydrownedthere。ItiscalledtheFaraglioni。“

  “IFaraglioni?Yes,shecalleditthat,“answeredthemanwiththewhiteface。“Therewassomestory——butthat——“

  Heputhishandtohisforeheadagain。“No,“hesaid,“Iforgetthatstory。“

  “Well,thatisthefirstthingIremember,thefirstdreamIhad,thatlittleshadedroomandthebeautifulairandskyandthatdearladyofmine,withhershiningarmsandhergracefulrobe,andhowwesatandtalkedinhalfwhisperstooneanother。Wetalkedinwhispersnotbecausetherewasanyonetohear,butbecausetherewasstillsuchafreshnessofmindbetweenusthatourthoughtswerealittlefrightened,Ithink,tofindthemselvesatlastinwords。

  Andsotheywentsoftly。

  “Presentlywewerehungryandwewentfromourapartment,goingbyastrangepassagewithamovingfloor,untilwecametothegreatbreakfastroom——therewasafountainandmusic。Apleasantandjoyfulplaceitwas,withitssunlightandsplashing,andthemurmurofpluckedstrings。Andwesatandateandsmiledatoneanother,andIwouldnotheedamanwhowaswatchingmefromatablenearby。

  “Andafterwardswewentontothedancing-hall。ButIcannotdescribethathall。Theplacewasenormous——largerthananybuildingyouhaveeverseen——andinoneplacetherewastheoldgateofCapri,caughtintothewallofagalleryhighoverhead。Lightgirders,stemsandthreadsofgold,burstfromthepillarslikefountains,streamedlikeanAuroraacrosstheroofandinterlaced,like——

  likeconjuringtricks。Allaboutthegreatcircleforthedancerstherewerebeautifulfigures,strangedragons,andintricateandwonderfulgrotesquesbearinglights。Theplacewasinundatedwithartificiallightthatshamedthenewbornday。Andaswewentthroughthethrongthepeopleturnedaboutandlookedatus,forallthroughtheworldmynameandfacewereknown,andhowIhadsuddenlythrownupprideandstruggletocometothisplace。Andtheylookedalsoattheladybesideme,thoughhalfthestoryofhowatlastshehadcometomewasunknownormistold。Andfewofthemenwhowerethere,Iknow,butjudgedmeahappyman,inspiteofalltheshameanddishonourthathadcomeuponmyname。

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