第5章
加入书架 A- A+
点击下载App,搜索"To Him That Hath",免费读到尾

  Thirty-oneyearsatthedesk!Andtoshowforitahomeforhiswifeandhimself,adaughterinahomeofherown,asondeadforhiscountry,leavingbehindhimawifeandtwoladstocarrythename——wasitworthwhile?Yes,byJove,itwasworthitalltobeabletogiveamanlikeStephenWickestohiscountry。ForStephenWickeswasafinestalwartlad,agoodsoldier,steadyasarock,withapatient,cheerycouragethatnothingcoulddauntorbreak。

  Butforaman’sselfwasitworthwhile?

  Jackhadnothoughtofwifeandfamily。TherewasAdrien。Shehadbeenagreatpalbeforethewar,butsincehisreturnshehadseemeddifferent。Everyoneseemeddifferent。Thewarhadleftmanygaps,formerpalshadformedotherties,manyhadgonefromthetown。EvenAdrienhaddriftedawayfromtheoldcurrentsoflife。SheseemedtohavetakenupwithyoungStillwell,whomJackcouldn’tabide。StillwellhadbeenturneddownbytheRecruitingOfficerduringthewar——flatfeet,orsomething。True,hehaddonegreatserviceinRedCross,PatrioticFund,VictoryLoanwork,andthatsortofthing,andapparentlystoodhighintheCommunity。

  Hisfatherhaddoubledthesizeofhisstoreandhadbeenagreatforceinallpublicwarwork。Hehadsparedneitherhimselfnorhisson。TheelderStillwell,highupintheProvincialPoliticalworld,sawtoitthathissonwasonallthebigProvincialWarCommittees。Ruperthadalltheshrewdforesightandbusinessabilityofhisfather,whichwassayingagooddeal。Hebegantoassumetheroleofapromisingyoungcapitalist。Thesourcesofhisincomenooneknew——fortunateinvestments,peoplesaid。AndhisHudsonSixstoodattheRectorygateeveryday。Well,notevenforAdrienwouldJackhavechangedplaceswithRupertStillwell。

  ForJackMaitlandheldtheextremeand,incertaincircles,unpopularcreedthatthecitizenwhocamericheroutofawarwhichhadlefthiscountrysubmergedindebt,andwhichhaddrainedawayitsbestbloodandleftitpoorerinitsmanhoodbywell-nighseventythousandofitsnoblestyouthleftuponthebattlefieldsofthevariouswarfrontsandbythehundredsofthousandswhowouldgothroughlifeaburdentothemselvesandtothosetowhomtheyshouldhavebeenasupport——thatcitizenwasaccursed。IfAdrienchosetobeafriendofsuchaman,bythatchoicesheclassifiedherselfasimpossibleoffriendshipforJack。Ithadhurtabit。

  Butwhatwasonehurtmoreorlesstoonewhomthewarhadleftnumbinheartandbereftofambition?Hewasnotgoingtopityhimself。Hewasluckyindeedtohavehisbodyandnervestillsoundandwhole,buttheyneednotexpecthimtoshowanygreatkeennessinthechaseforafewmorethousandsthatwouldonlyrankhimamongthoseforwhomthewarhadnotdonesobadly。Meantime,forhisfather’ssake,who,thankGod,hadgivenhisbest,hisheart’sbestandthebestofhisbrainandofhissplendidbusinessgeniustohiscountry,hewouldcarryon,withnootherrewardthanthatofservicerendered。

  Theystoodtogetherbytheopenfireinthestudy,Jackandhisfather,alikeinmanywaysyetproducingeffectsverydifferent。

  Theyoungermanhadthephysicalmakeupoftheolder,thoughofaslightermould。Theyhadthesamehigh,proudlookofconsciousstrength,ofcoolfearlessnessthatnothingcouldfluster。Butthesoulthatlookedoutofthegreyeyesofthesonwasquiteanotherfromthatwhichlookedoutofthedeepblueeyesofthefather——

  yet,afterall,thedifferencemaynothavebeeninessencebutonlythattheolderman’ssoulhadlearnedinlife’sexperiencetolookoutonlythroughaveil。

  Thesouloftheyouthwaseager,adventurous,stillbelieving,yetwithacertainquestioningandatouchofweariness,aresultoftheaftermathofpeacefollowingthreeyearsofwar。Therewasstill,however,theout-lookingforfarhorizons,theoutreachingimagination,theHeavengivenexpectationoftheInfinite。Intheolderman’seyedweltchieflyreserve。Theveilwasalwaysthereexceptwhenhefounditwiseandusefultodrawitaside。Ifevertheinnerlightflamedforthitwaswhenthemansochose。Self-

  mastery,shrewdness,power,knowledge,layinthedarkblueeyes,andallatthesoul’scommand。

  Butto-nightasthefather’seyesresteduponhissonwhostoodgazingintoandthroughtheblazingfirethereweretobeseenonlyprideandwistfullove。Butasthesonturnedhiseyestowardhisfathertheveilfellandtheeyesthatansweredwerequiet,shrewd,keenandchieflykind。

  Thetalkhadpassedbeyondthecommonplaceoftheday’sdoings。

  Theywereamongthebigthings,thefatefulthing——LifeandItsWorth,WorkandItsWages,CreativeIndustryandItsProduct,CapitalandItsPrice,ManandHisRights。

  Theywerefrankwitheachother。Thewarhaddonethatforthem。

  Foreversincethenightwhenhiseighteen-year-oldboyhadwalkedintohisdenandsaid,“Father,Iameighteen,“andstoodlookingintohiseyesandwaitingforthewordthatcamestraightandunhesitating,“Iknow,boy,youaremysonandyoumustgo,forI

  cannot,“eversincethatnight,whichseemednowtobelongtoanotherage,thesetwohadfacedeachotherasmen。Nowtheyweretalkingabouttheyoungman’slifework。

  “Frankly,Idon’tlikeit,Dad,“saidtheson。

  “Easytoseethat,Jack。“

  “I’mreallysorry。I’mafraidanyonecanseeit。ButsomehowI

  can’tputmuchpepintoit。“

  “Why?“askedthefather,withcurtabruptness。

  “Why?Well,Ihardlyknow。Somehowithardlyseemsworthwhile。

  Itisnotthegrindoftheoffice,thoughthatisconsiderable。I

  couldstickthat,but,afterall,what’stheuse?“

  “Whatwouldyouratherdo,Jack?“enquiredhisfatherpatiently,asiftalkingtoachild。“Youtriedforthemedicalprofession,youknow,and——“

  “Iknow,Iknow,youarequiterightaboutit。Youmaythinkitpurelaziness。Maybeitis,butIhardlythinkso。PerhapsIwentbacktolecturestoosoonafterthewar。Iwashardlyfit,I

  guess,andthewholething,theinsidelife,theinfernalgrindoflectures,theidioticseriousmummeryoftheyoungsters,thoseblessedkidswhoshouldhavebeenspankedbytheirmothers——thewholethingsickenedmeinthreemonths。IfIhadwaitedperhapsI

  mighthavedonebetteratthething。Idon’tknow——hardtotell。“

  Theboypaused,lookingintothefire。

  “Itwasmyfault,boy,“saidthefatherhastily。“Ioughttohavefiguredthethingoutdifferently。But,yousee,Ihadnoknowledgeofwhatyouhadgonethroughandofitseffectuponyou。

  Iknowbetternow。Ithoughtthattheharderyouwentintotheworkthebetteritwouldbeforyou。Imadeamistake。“

  “Well,youcouldn’ttell,Dad。Howcouldyou?ButeverythingwassodifferentwhenIcameback。Merekidswerecarryingonwherewehadbeen,anddoingitwell,too,byJove,andwedidn’tseemtobeneeded。“

  “Needed,boy?“Thefather’svoicewasthick。

  “Yes,butIdidn’tseethatthen。Selfish,Ifear。Then,youknow,homewasnotthesame——“

  Theoldermanchokedbackagroanandleanedhardagainstthemantel。

  “Iknow,Dad,IcanseenowIwasselfish——“

  “Selfish?Don’tsaythat,mylad。Selfish?Afterallyouhadgonethrough?No,Ishallneverapplythatwordtoyou,butyou——

  youdon’tseemtorealise——“Thefatherhesitatedafewmoments,then,asiftakingaplunge:

  “Youdon’trealisejusthowbigathing——howbiganinvestmentthereisinthatbusinessdownthere。“Hishandswepttowardthewindowthroughwhichcouldbeseenthelightsofthatpartofthetownwhichclusteredaboutthevariousmillsandfactoriesofwhichhewasowner。

  “Iknowthereisalot,Dad,buthowmuchIdon’tknow。“

  “There’s$250,000inplantalone,boy,butthere’smorethanmoney,alotmorethanmoney——“Then,afterapause,asiftohimself,“A

  lotmorethanmoney——there’sbrainsweatandheartagonyandprayersandtears——and,yes,life,boy,yourmother’slifeandmine。Weworkedandsavedandprayedandplanned——“

  Hesteppedquicklytowardthewindow,drewasidethecurtainandpointedtoadarkmassofheadlandbeyondthetwinklinglights。

  “YouseetheBluffthere。FiftyyearsagoIstoodwithmyfatheronthatBluffandwatchedthelogscomedowntherivertothesawmill——hissawmill,intowhichhehadputhistotalcapital,fivehundreddollars。Irememberwellhiswords,’Myson,ifyouliveoutyourlifeyouwillseeonthatflatatownwherethousandsofmenandwomenwillfindhomesand,pleaseGod,happiness。’YourmotherandIwatchedthattowngrowforfortyyears,andwetriedtomakepeoplehappy——atleast,iftheywerenotitwasnofaultofhers。Ofcourse,otherhandshavebeenattheworksincethen,butherhandsandminemorethananyother,andmorethanallotherstogetherwereinit,andherheart,too,wasinitall。“

  Theboyturnedfromthewindowandsatdownheavilyinadeeparmchair,hishandscoveringhisface。HisheartwasstillsickwiththeachethathadsmittenitthatdayinfrontofAmienswhentheColonel,hisfather’sfriend,hadsentforhimandreadhimthewirewhichhadbroughttheterriblemessageofhismother’sdeath。

  Thelongmonthsofdaysandnightsheavywithwatching,toiling,praying,agonising,forhertwinsons,andforthemanyboyswhohadgoneoutfromthelittletownworeouthernonetoorobuststrength。Then,thesniper’sbulletthathadpiercedtheheartofherboyseemedtoreachtoherheartaswell。Afterthat,thehomethatoncehadbeentoitsdwellersthemostcompletelyheart-

  satisfyingspotinalltheworldbecameaplaceofdread,ofhauntingghosts,ofacutelypoignantmemories。Theyusedthehouseforsleepinginandforeatingin,buttherewasnolivinginitlonger。Tothemitwasatomb,thoughneitherwouldacknowledgeitandeachborewithitfortheother’ssake。

  “Honestly,Dad,IwishIcouldmakeitgo,foryoursake——“

  “Formysake,boy?Why,IhaveallofitIcarefor。Notformysake。Butwhatelsecanwedobutstickit?“

  “Isupposeso——butforHeaven’ssakegivemesomethingworthaman’sdoing。IfIcouldtackleajobsuchasyouand“——theboywinced——“youandmothertookonIbelieveI’dtryit。Butthatoffice!Anyfoolcouldsitinmyplaceandcarryon。Itislikethejobtheyusedtogivetothecrocksortheslackersatthebasetodo。Givemeaman’sjob。“

  Thefather’skeenblueeyeslookedhissonover。

  “Aman’sjob?“hesaid,withagrimsmile,realisingashissondidnothowmuchofaman’sjobitwas。“SupposeyoulearnthisoneasIdid?“

  “Whatdoyoumean,Dad,exactly?Howdidyoubegin?“

  “I?Atthetailofthesaw。“

  “Allright,I’mgame。“

  “Boy,youareright——Ibelieveinmysoulyouareright。Youdidaman’sjob’outthere’andyouhaveitinyoutodoaman’sjobagain。“

  Thesonshruggedhisshoulders。Nextmorningatseventheyweredownattheplaningmillwheremenweredoingmen’swork。Hewasataman’sjob,atthetailofasaw,anddrawingaman’spay,rubbingshoulderswithmenonequalterms,ashehadinthetrenches。AndforthefirsttimesinceArmisticeDay,ifnothappyorsatisfied,hewascontenttocarryon。

  SamWigglesworthhadfinishedwithschool,whichisnotquitethesameassayingthathehadfinishedhiseducation。Anumberofcauseshadcombinedtobringthiseventtopass。First,SamwasbeyondtheageofcompulsoryattendanceatthePublicSchool,theSchoolRegisterrecordinghimassixteenyearsold。Then,Sam’seducationalcareerhadbeenanythingbutbrilliant。Indeed,itmightfairlybedescribedasdull。Allhislifehehadbeenbehindhisclass,thebiggestboyinhisclass,whichfactmighthavebeentoSamaconstantcauseofhumiliationhadhenotheldasoftheslightestmomentmerelyacademicachievements。OneunpleasanteffectwhichthisfacthaduponSam’smoralqualitywasthatittendedtomakehimabully。Hewasphysicallythesuperiorofallinhisclass,andthissuperiorityheexertedforwhathedeemedthedisciplineofyoungerandweakerboys,whoexcelledhiminintellectualattainment。

  Furthermore,Sam,whilequitereadytoenforcethecodeofdisciplinewhichheconsideredsuitabletothesmallerandweakerboysinhisclass,resentedandresistedtheattemptsofconstitutedauthoritytoenforcedisciplineinhisowncase,withtheresultthatSam’seducationalcareerwas,aftermuchlongsuffering,abruptlyterminatedbytheactionofthelong-sufferinghead,AlexDay。

  “WithgreatregretImustreport,“hislettertotheSchoolBoardran,“thatinthecaseofSamuelWigglesworthIhavesomehowfailedtoinculcatetheelementaryprinciplesofobediencetoschoolregulationsandofadherencetotruthinspeech。Iamfreetoacknowledge,“wentontheletter,“thatthedefectmaybeinmyselfasmuchasintheboy,buthavingfailedinwinninghimtoobedienceandtruth-telling,IfeelthatwhileIremainmasteroftheschoolImustdeclinetoallowtheinfluenceofthisyouthtocontinueintheschool。Awhole-heartedpenitenceforhismanyoffencesandanearnestpurposetoreformwouldinducemetogivehimafurthertrial。IntheabsenceofeitherpenitenceorpurposetoreformImustregretfullyadviseexpulsion。“

  JoyfullytheSchoolBoard,whohadformonthsurgeduponthereluctantheadthisaction,acquiescedinthecoursesuggested,andSamuelwasforthwithexpelled,tohisownunmitigatedreliefbuttohisfather’sredandragingindignationatwhathetermedthe“hignorantpersecutionoftheirbettersbythesehinsolentColonials,“for“’isson’ad’adtheadvantagesofschoolsofthe’igheststandin’inHEngland。“

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