第5章
加入书架 A- A+
点击下载App,搜索"The Voyage Out",免费读到尾

  Friendsmighthavetoldherthings,butshehadfewofherownage,——

  Richmondbeinganawkwardplacetoreach,——and,asithappened,theonlygirlsheknewwellwasareligiouszealot,whointhefervourofintimacytalkedaboutGod,andthebestwaysoftakingupone’scross,atopiconlyfitfullyinterestingtoonewhosemindreachedotherstagesatothertimes。

  Butlyinginherchair,withonehandbehindherhead,theothergraspingtheknobonthearm,shewasclearlyfollowingherthoughtsintently。Hereducationleftherabundanttimeforthinking。

  Hereyeswerefixedsosteadilyuponaballontherailoftheshipthatshewouldhavebeenstartledandannoyedifanythinghadchancedtoobscureitforasecond。Shehadbegunhermeditationswithashoutoflaughter,causedbythefollowingtranslationfrom_Tristan_:

  InshrinkingtrepidationHisshameheseemstohideWhiletothekinghisrelationHebringsthecorpse-likeBride。

  SeemsitsosenselesswhatIsay?

  Shecriedthatitdid,andthrewdownthebook。Nextshehadpickedup_Cowper’s__Letters_,theclassicprescribedbyherfatherwhichhadboredher,sothatonesentencechancingtosaysomethingaboutthesmellofbroominhisgarden,shehadthereuponseenthelittlehallatRichmondladenwithflowersonthedayofhermother’sfuneral,smellingsostrongthatnowanyflower-scentbroughtbackthesicklyhorriblesensation;

  andsofromonesceneshepassed,half-hearing,half-seeing,toanother。ShesawherAuntLucyarrangingflowersinthedrawing-room。

  “AuntLucy,“shevolunteered,“Idon’tlikethesmellofbroom;

  itremindsmeoffunerals。“

  “Nonsense,Rachel,“AuntLucyreplied;“don’tsaysuchfoolishthings,dear。Ialwaysthinkitaparticularlycheerfulplant。“

  Lyinginthehotsunhermindwasfixeduponthecharactersofheraunts,theirviews,andthewaytheylived。IndeedthiswasasubjectthatlastedherhundredsofmorningwalksroundRichmondPark,andblottedoutthetreesandthepeopleandthedeer。Whydidtheydothethingstheydid,andwhatdidtheyfeel,andwhatwasitallabout?AgainsheheardAuntLucytalkingtoAuntEleanor。

  Shehadbeenthatmorningtotakeupthecharacterofaservant,“And,ofcourse,athalf-pastteninthemorningoneexpectstofindthehousemaidbrushingthestairs。“Howodd!Howunspeakablyodd!

  Butshecouldnotexplaintoherselfwhysuddenlyasherauntspokethewholesysteminwhichtheylivedhadappearedbeforehereyesassomethingquiteunfamiliarandinexplicable,andthemselvesaschairsorumbrellasdroppedabouthereandtherewithoutanyreason。

  Shecouldonlysaywithherslightstammer,“Areyouf-f-fondofAuntEleanor,AuntLucy?“towhichherauntreplied,withhernervoushen-liketwitterofalaugh,“Mydearchild,whatquestionsyoudoask!“

  “Howfond?Veryfond!“Rachelpursued。

  “Ican’tsayI’veeverthought’how,’“saidMissVinrace。

  “Ifonecaresonedoesn’tthink’how,’Rachel,“whichwasaimedattheniecewhohadneveryet“come“toherauntsascordiallyastheywished。

  “ButyouknowIcareforyou,don’tyou,dear,becauseyou’reyourmother’sdaughter,iffornootherreason,andthere_are_plentyofotherreasons“——andsheleantoverandkissedherwithsomeemotion,andtheargumentwasspiltirretrievablyabouttheplacelikeabucketofmilk。

  BythesemeansRachelreachedthatstageinthinking,ifthinkingitcanbecalled,whentheeyesareintentuponaballoraknobandthelipsceasetomove。Hereffortstocometoanunderstandinghadonlyhurtheraunt’sfeelings,andtheconclusionmustbethatitisbetternottotry。Tofeelanythingstronglywastocreateanabyssbetweenoneselfandotherswhofeelstronglyperhapsbutdifferently。

  Itwasfarbettertoplaythepianoandforgetalltherest。

  Theconclusionwasverywelcome。Lettheseoddmenandwomen——

  heraunts,theHunts,Ridley,Helen,Mr。Pepper,andtherest——

  besymbols,——featurelessbutdignified,symbolsofage,ofyouth,ofmotherhood,oflearning,andbeautifuloftenaspeopleuponthestagearebeautiful。Itappearedthatnobodyeversaidathingtheymeant,orevertalkedofafeelingtheyfelt,butthatwaswhatmusicwasfor。

  Realitydwellinginwhatonesawandfelt,butdidnottalkabout,onecouldacceptasysteminwhichthingswentroundandroundquitesatisfactorilytootherpeople,withoutoftentroublingtothinkaboutit,exceptassomethingsuperficiallystrange。

  Absorbedbyhermusicsheacceptedherlotverycomplacently,blazingintoindignationperhapsonceafortnight,andsubsidingasshesubsidednow。Inextricablymixedindreamyconfusion,hermindseemedtoenterintocommunion,tobedelightfullyexpandedandcombinedwiththespiritofthewhitishboardsondeck,withthespiritofthesea,withthespiritofBeethovenOp。

  112,evenwiththespiritofpoorWilliamCowperthereatOlney。

  Likeaballofthistledownitkissedthesea,rose,kisseditagain,andthusrisingandkissingpassedfinallyoutofsight。Therisingandfallingoftheballofthistledownwasrepresentedbythesuddendroopforwardofherownhead,andwhenitpassedoutofsightshewasasleep。

  TenminuteslaterMrs。Ambroseopenedthedoorandlookedather。

  ItdidnotsurprisehertofindthatthiswasthewayinwhichRachelpassedhermornings。Sheglancedroundtheroomatthepiano,atthebooks,atthegeneralmess。InthefirstplacesheconsideredRachelaesthetically;lyingunprotectedshelookedsomehowlikeavictimdroppedfromtheclawsofabirdofprey,butconsideredasawoman,ayoungwomanoftwenty-four,thesightgaverisetoreflections。

  Mrs。Ambrosestoodthinkingforatleasttwominutes。Shethensmiled,turnednoiselesslyawayandwent,lestthesleepershouldwaken,andthereshouldbetheawkwardnessofspeechbetweenthem。

  Earlynextmorningtherewasasoundasofchainsbeingdrawnroughlyoverhead;thesteadyheartofthe_Euphrosyne_slowlyceasedtobeat;andHelen,pokinghernoseabovedeck,sawastationarycastleuponastationaryhill。TheyhaddroppedanchorinthemouthoftheTagus,andinsteadofcleavingnewwavesperpetually,thesamewaveskeptreturningandwashingagainstthesidesoftheship。

  Assoonasbreakfastwasdone,Willoughbydisappearedoverthevessel’sside,carryingabrownleathercase,shoutingoverhisshoulderthateveryonewastomindandbehavethemselves,forhewouldbekeptinLisbondoingbusinessuntilfiveo’clockthatafternoon。

  Ataboutthathourhereappeared,carryinghiscase,professinghimselftired,bothered,hungry,thirsty,cold,andinimmediateneedofhistea。Rubbinghishands,hetoldthemtheadventuresoftheday:

  howhehadcomeuponpooroldJacksoncombinghismoustachebeforetheglassintheoffice,littleexpectinghisdescent,hadputhimthroughsuchamorning’sworkasseldomcamehisway;thentreatedhimtoalunchofchampagneandortolans;paidacalluponMrs。Jackson,whowasfatterthanever,poorwoman,butaskedkindlyafterRachel——

  andOLord,littleJacksonhadconfessedtoaconfoundedpieceofweakness——well,well,noharmwasdone,hesupposed,butwhatwastheuseofhisgivingordersiftheywerepromptlydisobeyed?

  Hehadsaiddistinctlythathewouldtakenopassengersonthistrip。

  Herehebegansearchinginhispocketsandeventuallydiscoveredacard,whichheplankeddownonthetablebeforeRachel。Onitsheread,“Mr。andMrs。RichardDalloway,23BrowneStreet,Mayfair。“

  “Mr。RichardDalloway,“continuedVinrace,“seemstobeagentlemanwhothinksthatbecausehewasonceamemberofParliament,andhiswife’sthedaughterofapeer,theycanhavewhattheylikefortheasking。TheygotroundpoorlittleJacksonanyhow。

  Saidtheymusthavepassages——producedaletterfromLordGlenaway,askingmeasapersonalfavour——overruledanyobjectionsJacksonmadeIdon’tbelievetheycametomuch,andsothere’snothingforitbuttosubmit,Isuppose。“

  ButitwasevidentthatforsomereasonorotherWilloughbywasquitepleasedtosubmit,althoughhemadeashowofgrowling。

  ThetruthwasthatMr。andMrs。DallowayhadfoundthemselvesstrandedinLisbon。TheyhadbeentravellingontheContinentforsomeweeks,chieflywithaviewtobroadeningMr。Dalloway’smind。

  Unableforaseason,byoneoftheaccidentsofpoliticallife,toservehiscountryinParliament,Mr。DallowaywasdoingthebesthecouldtoserveitoutofParliament。ForthatpurposetheLatincountriesdidverywell,althoughtheEast,ofcourse,wouldhavedonebetter。

  “ExpecttohearofmenextinPetersburgorTeheran,“hehadsaid,turningtowavefarewellfromthestepsoftheTravellers’。ButadiseasehadbrokenoutintheEast,therewascholerainRussia,andhewasheardof,notsoromantically,inLisbon。TheyhadbeenthroughFrance;hehadstoppedatmanufacturingcentreswhere,producinglettersofintroduction,hehadbeenshownoverworks,andnotedfactsinapocket-book。InSpainheandMrs。Dallowayhadmountedmules,fortheywishedtounderstandhowthepeasantslive。

  Aretheyripeforrebellion,forexample?Mrs。DallowayhadtheninsisteduponadayortwoatMadridwiththepictures。

  FinallytheyarrivedinLisbonandspentsixdayswhich,inajournalprivatelyissuedafterwards,theydescribedasof“uniqueinterest。“

  Richardhadaudienceswithministers,andforetoldacrisisatnodistantdate,“thefoundationsofgovernmentbeingincurablycorrupt。

  Yethowblame,etc。“;whileClarissainspectedtheroyalstables,andtookseveralsnapshotsshowingmennowexiledandwindowsnowbroken。

  AmongotherthingsshephotographedFielding’sgrave,andletlooseasmallbirdwhichsomeruffianhadtrapped,“becauseonehatestothinkofanythinginacagewhereEnglishpeoplelieburied,“

  thediarystated。Theirtourwasthoroughlyunconventional,andfollowednomeditatedplan。Theforeigncorrespondentsofthe_Times_decidedtheirrouteasmuchasanythingelse。

  Mr。Dallowaywishedtolookatcertainguns,andwasofopinionthattheAfricancoastisfarmoreunsettledthanpeopleathomewereinclinedtobelieve。Forthesereasonstheywantedaslowinquisitivekindofship,comfortable,fortheywerebadsailors,butnotextravagant,whichwouldstopforadayortwoatthisportandatthat,takingincoalwhiletheDallowayssawthingsforthemselves。MeanwhiletheyfoundthemselvesstrandedinLisbon,unableforthemomenttolayhandsupontheprecisevesseltheywanted。

  Theyheardofthe_Euphrosyne_,butheardalsothatshewasprimarilyacargoboat,andonlytookpassengersbyspecialarrangement,herbusinessbeingtocarrydrygoodstotheAmazons,andrubberhomeagain。“Byspecialarrangement,“however,werewordsofhighencouragementtothem,fortheycameofaclasswherealmosteverythingwasspeciallyarranged,orcouldbeifnecessary。

  OnthisoccasionallthatRicharddidwastowriteanotetoLordGlenaway,theheadofthelinewhichbearshistitle;

  tocallonpooroldJackson;torepresenttohimhowMrs。Dallowaywasso-and-so,andhehadbeensomethingorotherelse,andwhattheywantedwassuchandsuchathing。Itwasdone。

  Theypartedwithcomplimentsandpleasureonbothsides,andhere,aweeklater,cametheboatrowinguptotheshipintheduskwiththeDallowaysonboardofit;inthreeminutestheywerestandingtogetheronthedeckofthe_Euphrosyne_。Theirarrival,ofcourse,createdsomestir,anditwasseenbyseveralpairsofeyesthatMrs。Dallowaywasatallslightwoman,herbodywrappedinfurs,herheadinveils,whileMr。Dallowayappearedtobeamiddle-sizedmanofsturdybuild,dressedlikeasportsmanonanautumnalmoor。

  Manysolidleatherbagsofarichbrownhuesoonsurroundedthem,inadditiontowhichMr。Dallowaycarriedadespatchbox,andhiswifeadressing-casesuggestiveofadiamondnecklaceandbottleswithsilvertops。

  “It’ssolikeWhistler!“sheexclaimed,withawavetowardstheshore,assheshookRachelbythehand,andRachelhadonlytimetolookatthegreyhillsononesideofherbeforeWilloughbyintroducedMrs。Chailey,whotooktheladytohercabin。

点击下载App,搜索"The Voyage Out",免费读到尾