第24章
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  “Yes,“ourfriendShortymurmuredpregnantly,withhiseyeuponthequietVirginian,“he’ssurestudyinghisrevenge。“

  “Studyingyourpussy-cat,“saidScipio。“Heknowswhathe’lldo。

  Thetime’ain’tarrived。“Thiswasthewaytheyfeltaboutit;

  andnotunnaturallythiswasthewaytheymademe,theinexperiencedEasterner,feelaboutit。ThatTrampasalsofeltsomethingaboutitwaseasytoknow。Liketheleavenwhichleavensthewholelump,onespotofsulkinessincampwillspreaditsdullflavorthroughanycompanythatsitsnearit;andwehadtositnearTrampasatmealsforninedays。

  Hissullennesswasnotwonderful。Tofeelhimselfforsakenbyhisrecentadherents,toseethemgoneovertohisenemy,couldnothavemadehisreflectionspleasant。Whyhedidnottakehimselfofftootherclimes——“pullhisfreightcasual,“asScipiosaid——I

  canexplainonlythus:paywasduehim——“time,“asitwascalledincow-land;ifhewouldhavethismoney,hemuststayundertheVirginian’scommanduntiltheJudge’sranchonSunkCreekshouldbereached;meanwhile,eachday’sworkaddedtothewagesinstoreforhim;andfinally,onceatSunkCreek,itwouldbenomoretheVirginianwhocommandedhim;itwouldbetherealranchforeman。AttheranchhewouldbetheVirginian’sequalagain,bothofthemtakingordersfromtheirofficiallyrecognizedsuperior,thisforeman。Shorty’swordabout“revenge“seemedtomelikeputtingthethingbackwards。Revenge,asItoldScipio,waswhatIshouldbethinkingaboutifIwereTrampas。

  “Hedassent,“wasScipio’simmediateview。“Nottillhe’sgotstrongagain。Hegotlaughedplumbsickbythebystanders,andwhateverspirithehadwasbrokeinthepresenceofusall。He’llhavetorecuperate。“ScipiothenspokeoftheVirginian’sattitude。“Mayberevengeain’tjusttherightwordforwherethisaffairhasgottonowwithhim。Whenyu’beatanothermanathisowngamelikehedonetoTrampas,why,yu’vehadalltherevengeyu’canwant,unlessyou’reahog。Andhe’snohog。ButhehasgotitinforTrampas。They’venotreckonedtoafinish。Wouldyouletamantrysuchspiteworkonyouandquitthinkin’abouthimjustbecauseyu’dheadedhimoff?“TothisIofferedhisownnotionabouthogsandbeingsatisfied。“Hogs!“wentonScipio,inawaythatdashedmysuggestiontopieces;“hogsain’tinthecase。He’sgottodealwithTrampassomehow——mantoman。Trampasandhimcan’tstaythiswaywhentheygetbackandgoworkin’

  sameastheyworkedbefore。No,sir;I’veseenhiseyetwice,andIknowhe’sgoin’toreckontoafinish。“

  Istillmust,inScipio’sopinion,havebeenslowtounderstand,whenontheafternoonfollowingthistalkIinvitedhimtotellmewhatsortof“finish“hewanted,aftersuchafinishingashadbeendealtTrampasalready。Getting“laughedplumbsickbythebystanders“Iborrowedhisownnotoverstatedexpressionseemedtomeahighlyfinalfinishing。WhileIwasrunningmynotionsofftohim,Scipiorose,and,withthefrying-panhehadbeenwashing,walkedslowlyatme。

  “Idobelieveyou’doughtn’ttobelettravelalonethewayyoudo。“Heputhisfaceclosetomine。Hislongnosegreweloquentinitsshrewdness,whilethefireinhisbleachedblueeyeburnedwithamiablesatire。“Whathascomeandgonebetweenthemtwohasonlysettledtheonepointhewasaimin’tomake。Hewasappointedbossofthisoutfitintheabsenceoftheregularforeman。Sincethenallhehasbeenplayin’foristohandbackhismentotheranchinasgoodshapeasthey’dbeenhandedtohim,andwithoutlosinganyontheroadthroughdesertionorshootingorwhatnot。Hehadtokickhiscookokthetrainthatday,andthelossmadehimsorrowful,Icouldsee。ButI’dhappenedtocomealong,andhejumpedmeintothevacancy,andI

  expectheisprettynearconsoled。AndasbossoftheoutfithebeatTrampas,whowassettin’upforoppositionboss。Andtheoutfitisbetterthansatisfieditcomeoutthatway,andthey’restayin’withhim;andhe’llhandthemallbackingoodcondition,barrin’thatlostcook。Soforthepresenthispointismade,yu’

  see。Butlookaheadalittle。Itmaynotbesoveryfaraheadyu’llhavetolook。Wegetbacktotheranch。He’snotbossthereanymore。Hisresponsibilityisover。Heisjustoneofusagain,takingordersfromaforemantheytellmehasshowedpartialitytoTrampasmore’nafewtimes。Partiality!That’swhatTrampasisplainlytrustingto。Trustingitwillfixhimallrightandfixhisenemyallwrong。He’dnototherwisedaretokeepsourlikehe’sdoing。Partiality!D’yu’thinkit’llscareofftheenemy?“

  ScipiolookedacrossalittlecreektowheretheVirginianwashelpingthrewthegatheredcattleonthebedground。“Whatodds“——hepointedthefrying-panattheSoutherner——“d’yu’figureTrampas’sbeingunderanyforeman’swingwillmaketoamanlikehim?He’sgoingtorememberMr。Trampasandhisspite-workifhe’sgottotearhimoutfromunderthewing,andmaybetearoffthewingintheoperation。AndIamgoin’toadviseyourfolks,“

  endedthecompleteScipio,“nottoleaveyoutravelsomuchalone——nottillyou’velearnedmorelife。“

  Hehadmademefeelmyinexperience,convincedmeofinnocence,undoubtedly;andduringthefinaldaysofourjourneyInolongerinvokedhisaidtomyreflectionsuponthisespecialtopic:WhatwouldtheVirginiandotoTrampas?Woulditbeanotherintellectualcrushingofhim,likethefrogstory,orwouldtherebesomethingthistimemorematerial——saymuscle,orpossiblygunpowder——init?AndwasScipio,afterall,infallible?Ididn’tpretendtounderstandtheVirginian;afterseveralyears’

  knowledgeofhimheremainedutterlybeyondme。Scipio’sexperiencewasnotyetthreeweekslong。SoIlethimaloneastoallthis,discussingwithhimmostotherthingsgoodandevilintheworld,andbeingconvincedofmuchfurtherinnocence;forScipio’stwentyoddyearswereindeedalibraryoflife。Ihavenevermetabetterheart,ashrewderwit,andloosermorals,withyetanativesenseofdecencyanddutysomewherehardandfastenshrined。

  ButallthewhileIwaswonderingabouttheVirginian:eatingwithhim,sleepingwithhimonlynotsosoundashedid,andridingbesidehimoftenformanyhours。

  ExperimentsinconversationIdidmake——andfailed。Onedayparticularlywhile,afterasuddenstormofhailhadchilledtheearthnumbandwhitelikewinterinfifteenminutes,wesatdryingandwarmingourselvesbyafirethatwebuilt,ItoucheduponthatthemeofequalityonwhichIknewhimtoholdopinionsasstrongasmine。“Oh,“hewouldreply,and“Cert’nly“;andwhenIaskedhimwhatitwasinamanthatmadehimaleaderofmen,heshookhisheadandpuffedhispipe。Sothen,noticinghowthesunhadbroughttheearthinhalfanhourbackfromwintertosummeragain,IspokeofourAmericanclimate。

  Itwasapotentdrug,Isaid,formillionstobeswallowingeveryday。

  “Yes,“saidhe,wipingthedampfromhisWinchesterrifle。

  OurAmericanclimate,Isaid,hadworkedremarkablechanges,atleast。

  “Yes,“hesaid;anddidnotaskwhattheywere。

  SoIhadtotellhim。“IthasmadesuccessfulpolitciansoftheIrish。That’sone。Andithasgivenourwholeracethehabitofpoker。“

  BangwenthisWinchester。Thebulletstruckclosetomyleft。I

  satupangrily。

  “That’sthefirstfoolishthingIeversawyoudo!Isaid。

  “Yes,“hedrawledslowly,“I’doughttohavedoneitsooner。Hewasprettynearlivelyagain。“Andthenhepickeduparattlesnakesixfeetbehindme。Ithadbeennumbedbythehail,partrevivedbythesun,andhehadshotitsheadoff。

  AfterthisIgaveupmyexperimentsinconversation。Sothatbythefinalafternoonofourjourney,withSunkCreekactuallyinsight,andthegreatgrasshoppersslattingtheirdrysongoverthesage-brush,andthetimeathandwhentheVirginianandTrampaswouldbe“mantoman,“mythoughtsrosetoaconsiderablepitchofspeculation。

  AndnowthattalkingpartoftheVirginian,whichhadbeenninedaysasleep,gaveitsfirstyawnandstretchofwaking。Withoutpreface,hesuddenlyaskedme,“Wouldyoubeaparson?“

  IwasmentallysofarawaythatIcouldn’tgetbackintimetocomprehendoranswerbeforehehadrepeated:“Whatwouldyu’taketobeaparson?“

  Hedrawleditoutinhisgentleway,preciselyasifnoninedaysstoodbetweenitandourlastrealintercourse。

  “Take?“Iwasstillvaguelymovinginmydistance。“How?“

  Hisnextquestionbroughtmehome。

  “IexpectthePope’sisthebiggestofthemparsonjobs?“

  Itwaswithan“Oh!“thatInowentirelytookhisidea。“Well,yes;decidedlythebiggest。“

  “BeatstheEnglishone?Archbishop——ain’tit?——ofCanterbury?ThePopecomesaheadofhim?“

  “HisHolinesswouldsaysoifhisGracedidnot。“

  TheVirginianturnedhalfinhissaddletoseemyface——Iwas,atthemoment,ridingnotquiteabreastofhim——andIsawthegleamofhisteethbeneathhismustache。ItwasseldomIcouldmakehimsmile,eventothisslightextent。Buthiseyesgrew,withhisnextwords,remoteagainintheirspeculation。

  “HisHolinessandhisGrace。NowifIwastohear’emnamin’methat-a-wayeverymawnin’,I’dsca’celygetdowntobusiness。“

  “Oh,you’dgetusedtotheprideofit。“

  “’Tisn’tthepride。Thelaughiswhatwouldruinme。’Twouldtake’mostallmyattentionkeepingastraightface。TheArchbishop“——herehetookoneofhiswidementalturns——“isapttobeabigmaninthemShakespeareplays。Kingstaketalkfromhimthey’dnotstandfromanybodyelse;andhetalksfine,frequently。Aboutthebees,forinstance,whenHenryisgoingtofightFrance。Hetellshimabeehiveissimilartoakingdom。I

  learnedthatpiece。“TheVirginiancouldnothaveexpectedtoblushatutteringtheselastwords。HeknewthathissuddencolormusttellmeinwhosebookitwashehadlearnedthepieceWasnothercopyofKenilworthevennowInhischerishingpocket?Sohenow,tocoverhisblush,verydeliberatelyrecitedtometheArchbishop’sdiscourseuponbeesandtheirkingdom:

  “’Wheresome,likemagistrates,correctathome……

  Others,likesoldiers,armedintheirstings,Makelootuponthesummer’svelvetbuds;

  WhichpillagetheywithmerrymarchbringhomeTothetent-royaloftheiremperor:

  He,busiedinhismajesty,surreysThesingingmasonsbuildingroofsofgold。’

  “Ain’tthatafinedescriptionofbeesa-workin’?’Thesingingmasonsbuildingroofsofgold!’Puts’emrightbeforeyu’,andispoetrywithoutbein’foolish。HisHolinessandhisGrace。Well,theycouldnothiremeforeithero’thosepositions。Howmanyreligionsarethere?“

  “Allovertheearth?“

  “Yu’canbeginwithourselves。RighthyehathomeIknowthere’sRomanists,andEpiscopals——“

  “Twokinds!“Iputin。“AtleasttwoofEpiscopals。“

  “That’sthree。ThenMethodistsandBaptists,and——“

  “ThreeMethodists!“

  “Well,youdothecountin’。“

  Iaccordinglydidit,feelingmyrevolvingmemoryslipcogsallthewayround。“Anyhow,therearesafelyfifteen。“

  “Fifteen。“Heheldthisfactamoment。“Andtheydon’tworshipawholeheapo’differentgodsliketheancientsdid?“

  “Oh,no!“

  “It’sjustthesameone?“

  “Thesameone。“

  TheVirginianfoldedhishandsoverthehornofhissaddle,andleanedforwarduponthemincontemplationofthewide,beautifullandscape。

  “OneGodandfifteenreligions,“washisreflection。“That’sarightsmartofreligionsforjustoneGod。“

  Thiswayofreducingitwas,ifobvioustohim,sonoveltomethatmylaughevidentlystruckhimasalouderandliveliercommentthanwasrequired。HeturnedonmeasifIhadsomehowpervertedthespiritofhiswords。

  “Iain’treligious。Iknowthat。ButIain’tunreligious。AndI

  knowthattoo。“

  “SodoIknowit,myfriend。“

  “Doyouthinkthereoughttobefifteenvarietiesofgoodpeople?“Hisvoice,whileitnowhadanedgethatcouldcutanythingitcameagainst,wasstillnotraised。“Thereain’tfifteen。Thereain’ttwo。There’sonekind。AndwhenImeetit,I

  respectit。Itisnotprayingnorpreachingthathasevercaughtmeandmademeashamedofmyself,butoneortwopeopleIhaveknowedthatneversaidasuperiorwordtomeTheythoughtmoreo’

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