Impassiveasthelongloftslook，lettheelectricbatterysenddowntheword，andtheshuttersanddoorsshallflyopen，andsuchafleetofarmedships，understeamandundersail，shallburstforthaswillchargetheoldMedway-wherethemerryStuartlettheDutchcome，whilehisnotsomerrysailorsstarvedinthestreets-withsomethingworthlookingattocarrytothesea。
ThusIidleroundtotheMedwayagain，whereitisnowfloodtide；
andIfindtheriverevincingastrongsolicitudetoforceawayintothedrydockwhereAchillesiswaitedonbythetwelvehundredbangers，withintenttobearthewholeawaybeforetheyareready。
Tothelast，theYardputsaquietfaceuponit；forImakemywaytothegatesthroughalittlequietgroveoftrees，shadingthequaintestofDutchlanding-places，wheretheleaf-speckledshadowofashipwrightjustpassingawayatthefurtherendmightbetheshadowofRussianPeterhimself。So，thedoorsofthegreatpatentsafeatlastcloseuponme，andItakeboatagain:somehow，thinkingastheoarsdip，ofbraggartPistolandhisbrood，andofthequietmonstersoftheYard，withtheir’Wedon’tparticularlywanttodoit；butifitmustbedone-！’Scrunch。
’Itisneitheraboldnoradiversifiedcountry，’saidItomyself，’thiscountrywhichisthree-quartersFlemish，andaquarterFrench；yetithasitsattractionstoo。Thoughgreatlinesofrailwaytraverseit，thetrainsleaveitbehind，andgopuffingofftoParisandtheSouth，toBelgiumandGermany，totheNorthernSea-CoastofFrance，andtoEngland，andmerelysmokeitalittleinpassing。ThenIdon’tknowit，andthatisagoodreasonforbeinghere；andIcan’tpronouncehalfthelongqueernamesIseeinscribedovertheshops，andthatisanothergoodreasonforbeinghere，sinceIsurelyoughttolearnhow。’Inshort，Iwas’here，’
andIwantedanexcusefornotgoingawayfromhere，andImadeittomysatisfaction，andstayedhere。
WhatpartinmydecisionwasbornebyMonsieurP。Salcy，isofnomoment，thoughIowntoencounteringthatgentleman’snameonaredbillonthewall，beforeImadeupmymind。MonsieurP。Salcy，’parpermissiondeM。leMaire，’hadestablishedhistheatreinthewhitewashedHoteldeVille，onthestepsofwhichillustriousedificeIstood。AndMonsieurP。Salcy，privilegeddirectorofsuchtheatre，situatein’thefirsttheatricalarrondissementofthedepartmentoftheNorth，’invitedFrench-Flemishmankindtocomeandpartakeoftheintellectualbanquetprovidedbyhisfamilyofdramaticartists，fifteensubjectsinnumber。’LaFamilleP。
SALCY，composeed’artistesdramatiques，aunombrede15sujets。’
Neitheraboldnoradiversifiedcountry，Isayagain，andwithalanuntidycountry，butpleasantenoughtoridein，whenthepavedroadsovertheflatsandthroughthehollows，arenottoodeepinblackmud。Acountrysosparelyinhabited，thatIwonderwherethepeasantswhotillandsowandreaptheground，canpossiblydwell，andalsobywhatinvisibleballoonstheyareconveyedfromtheirdistanthomesintothefieldsatsunriseandbackagainatsunset。
Theoccasionalfewpoorcottagesandfarmsinthisregion，surelycannotaffordsheltertothenumbersnecessarytothecultivation，albeittheworkisdonesoverydeliberately，thatononelongharvestdayIhaveseen，intwelvemiles，abouttwiceasmanymenandwomenalltoldreapingandbinding。YethaveIseenmorecattle，moresheep，morepigs，andallinbettercase，thanwherethereispurerFrenchspoken，andalsobetterricks-roundswellingpeg-topricks，wellthatched；notashapelessbrownheap，likethetoastofaGiant’stoast-and-water，pinnedtotheearthwithoneoftheskewersoutofhiskitchen。Agoodcustomtheyhaveabouthere，likewise，ofprolongingtheslopingtiledroofoffarmorcottage，sothatitoverhangsthreeorfourfeet，carryingoffthewet，andmakingagooddrying-placewhereintohangupherbs，orimplements，orwhatnot。Abettercustomthanthepopularoneofkeepingtherefuse-heapandpuddleclosebeforethehousedoor:which，althoughIpaintmydwellingneversobrightlyblueanditcannotbetooblueforme，hereabouts，willbringfeverinsidemydoor。WonderfulpoultryoftheFrench-Flemishcountry，whytakethetroubletoBEpoultry？Whynotstopshortateggsintherisinggeneration，anddieoutandhavedonewithit？
ParentsofchickenshaveIseenthisday，followedbytheirwretchedyoungfamilies，scratchingnothingoutofthemudwithanair-totteringaboutonlegssoscraggyandweak，thatthevaliantworddrumsticksbecomesamockerywhenappliedtothem，andthecrowofthelordandmasterhasbeenameredejectedcaseofcroup。
CartshaveIseen，andotheragriculturalinstruments，unwieldy，dislocated，monstrous。Poplar-treesbythethousandfringethefieldsandfringetheendoftheflatlandscape，sothatIfeel，lookingstraightonbeforeme，asif，whenIpasstheextremestfringeonthelowhorizon，Ishalltumbleoverintospace。Littlewhitewashedblackholesofchapels，withbarreddoorsandFlemishinscriptions，aboundatroadsidecorners，andoftentheyaregarnishedwithasheafofwoodencrosses，likechildren’sswords；
or，intheirdefault，somehollowoldtreewithasaintroostinginit，issimilarlydecorated，orapolewithaverydiminutivesaintenshrinedaloftinasortofsacredpigeon-house。Notthatwearedeficientinsuchdecorationinthetownhere，for，overatthechurchyonder，outsidethebuilding，isascenicrepresentationoftheCrucifixion，builtupwitholdbricksandstones，andmadeoutwithpaintedcanvasandwoodenfigures:thewholesurmountingthedustyskullofsomeholypersonageperhaps，shutupbehindalittleashyirongrate，asifitwereoriginallyputtheretobecooked，andthefirehadlonggoneout。Awindmillycountrythis，thoughthewindmillsaresodampandrickety，thattheynearlyknockthemselvesofftheirlegsateveryturnoftheirsails，andcreakinloudcomplaint。Aweavingcountry，too，forinthewaysidecottagestheloomgoeswearily-rattleandclick，rattleandclick-and，lookingin，Iseethepoorweavingpeasant，manorwoman，bendingatthework，whilethechild，workingtoo，turnsalittlehand-wheelputuponthegroundtosuititsheight。Anunconscionablemonster，theloominasmalldwelling，assertinghimselfungenerouslyasthebread-winner，straddlingoverthechildren’sstrawbeds，crampingthefamilyinspaceandair，andmakinghimselfgenerallyobjectionableandtyrannical。Heistributary，too，touglymillsandfactoriesandbleaching-grounds，risingoutofthesluicedfieldsinanabruptbareway，disdaining，likehimself，tobeornamentaloraccommodating。Surroundedbythesethings，hereIstoodonthestepsoftheHoteldeVille，persuadedtoremainbytheP。Salcyfamily，fifteendramaticsubjectsstrong。
TherewasaFairbesides。Thedoublepersuasionbeingirresistible，andmyspongebeingleftbehindatthelastHotel，I
madethetourofthelittletowntobuyanother。Inthesmallsunnyshops-mercers，opticians，anddruggist-grocers，withhereandthereanemporiumofreligiousimages-thegravestofoldspectacledFlemishhusbandsandwivessatcontemplatingoneanotheracrossbarecounters，whilethewasps，whoseemedtohavetakenmilitarypossessionofthetown，andtohaveplaceditunderwasp-
martiallaw，executedwarlikemanoeuvresinthewindows。Othershopsthewaspshadentirelytothemselves，andnobodycaredandnobodycamewhenIbeatwithafive-francpieceupontheboardofcustom。WhatIsoughtwasnomoretobefoundthanifIhadsoughtanuggetofCaliforniangold:soIwent，spongeless，topasstheeveningwiththeFamilyP。Salcy。
ThemembersoftheFamilyP。Salcyweresofatandsolikeoneanother-fathers，mothers，sisters，brothers，uncles，andaunts-
thatIthinkthelocalaudienceweremuchconfusedabouttheplotofthepieceunderrepresentation，andtothelastexpectedthateverybodymustturnouttobethelong-lostrelativeofeverybodyelse。TheTheatrewasestablishedonthetopstoryoftheHoteldeVille，andwasapproachedbyalongbarestaircase，whereon，inanairysituation，oneoftheP。SalcyFamily-astoutgentlemanimperfectlyrepressedbyabelt-tookthemoney。Thisoccasionedthegreatestexcitementoftheevening；for，nosoonerdidthecurtainriseontheintroductoryVaudeville，andrevealinthepersonoftheyoungloversingingaveryshortsongwithhiseyebrowsapparentlytheverysameidenticalstoutgentlemanimperfectlyrepressedbyabelt，thaneverybodyrushedouttothepaying-place，toascertainwhetherhecouldpossiblyhaveputonthatdress-coat，thatclearcomplexion，andthosearchedblackvocaleyebrows，insoshortaspaceoftime。Itthenbecamemanifestthatthiswasanotherstoutgentlemanimperfectlyrepressedbyabelt:towhom，beforethespectatorshadrecoveredtheirpresenceofmind，enteredathirdstoutgentlemanimperfectlyrepressedbyabelt，exactlylikehim。Thesetwo’subjects，’
makingwiththemoney-takerthreeoftheannouncedfifteen，fellintoconversationtouchingacharmingyoungwidow:who，presentlyappearing，provedtobeastoutladyaltogetherirrepressiblebyanymeans-quiteaparallelcasetotheAmericanNegro-fourthofthefifteensubjects，andsisterofthefifthwhopresidedoverthecheck-department。Ingoodtimethewholeofthefifteensubjectsweredramaticallypresented，andwehadtheinevitableMaMere，MaMere！andalsotheinevitablemaledictiond’unpere，andlikewisetheinevitableMarquis，andalsotheinevitableprovincialyoungman，weak-mindedbutfaithful，whofollowedJulietoParis，andcriedandlaughedandchokedallatonce。Thestorywaswroughtoutwiththehelpofavirtuousspinning-wheelinthebeginning，avicioussetofdiamondsinthemiddle，andarheumaticblessingwhicharrivedbypostfromMaMeretowardstheend；thewholeresultinginasmallswordinthebodyofoneofthestoutgentlemenimperfectlyrepressedbyabelt，fiftythousandfrancsperannumandadecorationtotheotherstoutgentlemanimperfectlyrepressedbyabelt，andanassurancefromeverybodytotheprovincialyoungmanthatifhewerenotsupremelyhappy-whichheseemedtohavenoreasonwhateverforbeing-heoughttobe。Thisaffordedhimafinalopportunityofcryingandlaughingandchokingallatonce，andsenttheaudiencehomesentimentallydelighted。
Audiencemoreattentiveorbetterbehavedtherecouldnotpossiblybe，thoughtheplacesofsecondrankintheTheatreoftheFamilyP。SalcyweresixpenceeachinEnglishmoney，andtheplacesoffirstrankashilling。Howthefifteensubjectsevergotsofatuponit，thekindHeavensknow。
Whatgorgeouschinafiguresofknightsandladies，gildedtilltheygleamedagain，ImighthaveboughtattheFairforthegarnitureofmyhome，ifIhadbeenaFrench-Flemishpeasant，andhadhadthemoney！Whatshiningcoffee-cupsandsaucersImighthavewonattheturntables，ifIhadhadtheluck！Ravishingperfumeryalso，andsweetmeats，Imighthavespeculatedin，orImighthavefiredforprizesatamultitudeoflittledollsinniches，andmighthavehitthedollofdolls，andwonfrancsandfame。Or，beingaFrench-Flemishyouth，Imighthavebeendrawninahand-cartbymycompeers，totiltformunicipalrewardsatthewater-quintain；
which，unlessIsentmylancecleanthroughthering，emptiedafullbucketoverme；tofendoffwhich，thecompetitorsworegrotesqueoldscarecrowhats。Or，beingFrench-Flemishmanorwoman，boyorgirl，Imighthavecircledallnightonmyhobby-