horseinastatelycavalcadeofhobby-horsesfourabreast,interspersedwithtriumphalcars,goingroundandroundandroundandround,wethegoodlycompanysingingaceaselesschorustothemusicofthebarrel-organ,drum,andcymbals。Onthewhole,notmoremonotonousthantheRinginHydePark,London,andmuchmerrier;forwhendothecirclingcompanysingchorus,THERE,tothebarrel-organ,whendotheladiesembracetheirhorsesroundtheneckwithbotharms,whendothegentlemenfantheladieswiththetailsoftheirgallantsteeds?Onalltheserevolvingdelights,andontheirownespeciallampsandChineselanternsrevolvingwiththem,thethoughtfulweaver-facebrightens,andtheHoteldeVilleshedsanilluminatedlineofgaslight:whileaboveit,theEagleofFrance,gas-outlinedandapparentlyafflictedwiththeprevailinginfirmitiesthathavelightedonthepoultry,isinaveryundecidedstateofpolicy,andasabirdmoulting。Flagsflutterallaround。Suchistheprevailinggaietythatthekeeperoftheprisonsitsonthestonestepsoutsidetheprison-door,tohavealookattheworldthatisnotlockedup;whilethatagreeableretreat,thewine-shopoppositetotheprisonintheprison-alleyitssignLaTranquillite,becauseofitscharmingsituation,resoundswiththevoicesoftheshepherdsandshepherdesseswhoresorttherethisfestivenight。Anditremindsmethatonlythisafternoon,Isawashepherdintrouble,tendingthisway,overthejaggedstonesofaneighbouringstreet。A
magnificentsightitwas,tobeholdhiminhisblouse,afeeblelittlejog-trotrustic,sweptalongbythewindoftwoimmensegendarmes,incocked-hatsforwhichthestreetwashardlywideenough,eachcarryingabundleofstolenpropertythatwouldnothaveheldhisshoulder-knot,andclankingasabrethatdwarfedtheprisoner。
’MessieursetMesdames,IpresenttoyouatthisFair,asamarkofmyconfidenceinthepeopleofthisso-renownedtown,andasanactofhomagetotheirgoodsenseandfinetaste,theVentriloquist,theVentriloquist!Further,MessieursetMesdames,IpresenttoyoutheFace-Maker,thePhysiognomist,thegreatChangerofCountenances,whotransformsthefeaturesthatHeavenhasbestoweduponhimintoanendlesssuccessionofsurprisingandextraordinaryvisages,comprehending,MessieursetMesdames,allthecontortions,energeticandexpressive,ofwhichthehumanfaceiscapable,andallthepassionsofthehumanheart,asLove,Jealousy,Revenge,Hatred,Avarice,Despair!Hihi!Hoho!Lulu!Comein!’Tothiseffect,withanoccasionalsmiteuponasonorouskindoftambourine-bestowedwithawill,asifitrepresentedthepeoplewhowon’tcomein-holdsforthamanofloftyandseveredemeanour;amaninstatelyuniform,gloomywiththeknowledgehepossessesoftheinnersecretsofthebooth。’Comein,comein!
Youropportunitypresentsitselfto-night;to-morrowitwillbegoneforever。To-morrowmorningbytheExpressTraintherailroadwillreclaimtheVentriloquistandtheFace-Maker!AlgeriawillreclaimtheVentriloquistandtheFace-Maker!Yes!Forthehonouroftheircountrytheyhaveacceptedpropositionsofamagnitudeincredible,toappearinAlgeria。Seethemforthelasttimebeforetheirdeparture!Wegotocommenceontheinstant。Hihi!
Hoho!Lulu!Comein!Takethemoneythatnowascends,Madame;
butafterthat,nomore,forwecommence!Comein!’
Nevertheless,theeyesbothofthegloomySpeakerandofMadamereceivingsousinamuslinbower,surveythecrowdprettysharplyaftertheascendingmoneyhasascended,todetectanylingeringsousattheturning-point。’Comein,comein!Isthereanymoremoney,Madame,onthepointofascending?Ifso,wewaitforit。
Ifnot,wecommence!’Theoratorlooksbackoverhisshouldertosayit,lashingthespectatorswiththeconvictionthathebeholdsthroughthefoldsofthedraperyintowhichheisabouttoplunge,theVentriloquistandtheFace-Maker。Severalsousburstoutofpockets,andascend。’Comeup,then,Messieurs!’exclaimsMadameinashrillvoice,andbeckoningwithabejewelledfinger。’Comeup!Thispresses。Monsieurhascommandedthattheycommence!’
MonsieurdivesintohisInterior,andthelasthalf-dozenofusfollow。HisInterioriscomparativelysevere;hisExterioralso。
AtrueTempleofArtneedsnothingbutseats,drapery,asmalltablewithtwomoderatorlampshangingoverit,andanornamentallooking-glassletintothewall。Monsieurinuniformgetsbehindthetableandsurveysuswithdisdain,hisforeheadbecomingdiabolicallyintellectualunderthemoderators。’MessieursetMesdames,IpresenttoyoutheVentriloquist。HewillcommencewiththecelebratedExperienceofthebeeinthewindow。Thebee,apparentlytheveritablebeeofNature,willhoverinthewindow,andabouttheroom。HewillbewithdifficultycaughtinthehandofMonsieurtheVentriloquist-hewillescape-hewillagainhover-atlengthhewillberecapturedbyMonsieurtheVentriloquist,andwillbewithdifficultyputintoabottle。
Achievethen,Monsieur!’HeretheproprietorisreplacedbehindthetablebytheVentriloquist,whoisthinandsallow,andofaweaklyaspect。Whilethebeeisinprogress,MonsieurtheProprietorsitsapartonastool,immersedindarkandremotethought。Themomentthebeeisbottled,hestalksforward,eyesusgloomilyasweapplaud,andthenannounces,sternlywavinghishand:’ThemagnificentExperienceofthechildwiththewhooping-
cough!’Thechilddisposedof,hestartsupasbefore。’ThesuperbandextraordinaryExperienceofthedialoguebetweenMonsieurTatambourinhisdining-room,andhisdomestic,Jerome,inthecellar;concludingwiththesongstersofthegrove,andtheConcertofdomesticFarm-yardanimals。’Allthisdone,andwelldone,MonsieurtheVentriloquistwithdraws,andMonsieurtheFace-
Makerburstsin,asifhisretiring-roomwereamilelonginsteadofayard。Acorpulentlittlemaninalargewhitewaistcoat,withacomiccountenance,andwithawiginhishand。Irreverentdispositiontolaugh,instantlycheckedbythetremendousgravityoftheFace-Maker,whointimatesinhisbowthatifweexpectthatsortofthingwearemistaken。Averylittleshaving-glasswithalegbehinditishandedin,andplacedonthetablebeforetheFace-Maker。’MessieursetMesdames,withnootherassistancethanthismirrorandthiswig,Ishallhavethehonourofshowingyouathousandcharacters。’Asapreparation,theFace-Makerwithbothhandsgougeshimself,andturnshismouthinsideout。Hethenbecomesfrightfullygraveagain,andsaystotheProprietor,’Iamready!’Proprietorstalksforthfrombalefulreverie,andannounces’TheYoungConscript!’Face-Makerclapshiswigon,hindsidebefore,looksintheglass,andappearsaboveitasaconscriptsoveryimbecile,andsquintingsoextremelyhard,thatI
shouldthinktheStatewouldnevergetanygoodofhim。Thundersofapplause。Face-Makerdipsbehindthelooking-glass,bringshisownhairforward,ishimselfagain,isawfullygrave。’A
distinguishedinhabitantoftheFaubourgSt。Germain。’Face-Makerdips,rises,issupposedtobeaged,blear-eyed,toothless,slightlypalsied,supernaturallypolite,evidentlyofnoblebirth。
’TheoldestmemberoftheCorpsofInvalidesonthefete-dayofhismaster。’Face-Makerdips,rises,wearsthewigononeside,hasbecomethefeeblestmilitaryboreinexistence,anditisclear
wouldliefrightfullyabouthispastachievements,ifhewerenotconfinedtopantomime。’TheMiser!’Face-Makerdips,rises,clutchesabag,andeveryhairofthewigisonendtoexpressthathelivesincontinualdreadofthieves。’TheGeniusofFrance!’
Face-Makerdips,rises,wigpushedbackandsmoothedflat,littlecocked-hatartfullyconcealedtillnowputa-topofit,Face-
Maker’swhitewaistcoatmuchadvanced,Face-Maker’slefthandinbosomofwhitewaistcoat,Face-Maker’srighthandbehindhisback。
Thunders。ThisisthefirstofthreepositionsoftheGeniusofFrance。Inthesecondposition,theFace-Makertakessnuff;inthethird,rollsuphisfighthand,andsurveysillimitablearmiesthroughthatpocket-glass。TheFace-Makerthen,byputtingouthistongue,andwearingthewignohowinparticular,becomestheVillageIdiot。Themostremarkablefeatureinthewholeofhisingeniousperformance,is,thatwhateverhedoestodisguisehimself,hastheeffectofrenderinghimrathermorelikehimselfthanhewasatfirst。
Therewerepeep-showsinthisFair,andIhadthepleasureofrecognisingseveralfieldsofglorywithwhichIbecamewellacquaintedayearortwoagoasCrimeanbattles,nowdoingdutyasMexicanvictories。ThechangewasneatlyeffectedbysomeextrasmokingoftheRussians,andbypermittingthecampfollowersfreerangeintheforegroundtodespoiltheenemyoftheiruniforms。AsnoBritishtroopshadeverhappenedtobewithinsightwhentheartisttookhisoriginalsketches,itfollowedfortunatelythatnonewereinthewaynow。
TheFairwoundupwithaball。Respectingtheparticularnightoftheweekonwhichtheballtookplace,Ideclinetocommitmyself;
merelymentioningthatitwasheldinastable-yardsoveryclosetotherailway,thatitwasamercythelocomotivedidnotsetfiretoit。InScotland,Isuppose,itwouldhavedoneso。There,inatentprettilydecoratedwithlooking-glassesandamyriadoftoyflags,thepeopledancedallnight。Itwasnotanexpensiverecreation,thepriceofadoubleticketforacavalierandladybeingoneandthreepenceinEnglishmoney,andevenofthatsmallsumfivepencewasreclaimablefor’consommation:’whichwordI
venturetotranslateintorefreshmentsofnogreaterstrength,atthestrongest,thanordinarywinemadehot,withsugarandlemoninit。Itwasaballofgreatgoodhumourandofgreatenjoyment,thoughverymanyofthedancersmusthavebeenaspoorasthefifteensubjectsoftheP。SalcyFamily。
Inshort,nothavingtakenmyownpetnationalpintpotwithmetothisFair,IwasverywellsatisfiedwiththemeasureofsimpleenjoymentthatitpouredintothedullFrench-Flemishcountrylife。
Howdullthatis,Ihadanopportunityofconsidering-whentheFairwasover-whenthetri-colouredflagswerewithdrawnfromthewindowsofthehousesonthePlacewheretheFairwasheld-whenthewindowswerecloseshut,apparentlyuntilnextFair-time-whentheHoteldeVillehadcutoffitsgasandputawayitseagle-
whenthetwopaviours,whomItaketoformtheentirepavingpopulationofthetown,wererammingdownthestoneswhichhadbeenpulledupfortheerectionofdecorativepoles-whenthejailerhadslammedhisgate,andsulkilylockedhimselfinwithhischarges。Butthen,asIpacedtheringwhichmarkedthetrackofthedepartedhobby-horsesonthemarket-place,ponderinginmymindhowlongsomehobby-horsesdoleavetheirtracksinpublicways,andhowdifficulttheyaretoerase,myeyesweregreetedwithagoodlysight。IbeheldfourmalepersonagesthoughtfullypacingthePlacetogether,inthesunlight,evidentlynotbelongingtothetown,andhavinguponthemacertainloosecosmopolitanairofnotbelongingtoanytown。Onewascladinasuitofwhitecanvas,anotherinacapandblouse,thethirdinanoldmilitaryfrock,thefourthinashapelessdressthatlookedasifithadbeenmadeoutofoldumbrellas。Allworedust-colouredshoes。Myheartbeathigh;for,inthosefourmalepersonages,althoughcomplexionlessandeyebrowless,IbeheldfoursubjectsoftheFamilyP。Salcy。
Blue-beardedthoughtheywere,andbereftoftheyouthfulsmoothnessofcheekwhichisimpartedbywhatistermedinAlbiona’Whitechapelshave’andwhichis,infact,whitening,judiciouslyappliedtothejawswiththepalmofthehand,Irecognisedthem。