satovermyhouselesscup，ponderingwheretogonext，amaninahighandlongsnuff-colouredcoat，andshoes，and，tothebestofmybelief，nothingelsebutahat，whotookoutofhishatalargecoldmeatpudding；ameatpuddingsolargethatitwasaverytightfit，andbroughttheliningofthehatoutwithit。Thismysteriousmanwasknownbyhispudding，foronhisentering，themanofsleepbroughthimapintofhottea，asmallloaf，andalargeknifeandforkandplate。Lefttohimselfinhisbox，hestoodthepuddingonthebaretable，and，insteadofcuttingit，stabbedit，overhand，withtheknife，likeamortalenemy；thentooktheknifeout，wipeditonhissleeve，torethepuddingasunderwithhisfingers，andateitallup。Theremembranceofthismanwiththepuddingremainswithmeastheremembranceofthemostspectralpersonmyhouselessnessencountered。TwiceonlywasIinthatestablishment，andtwiceIsawhimstalkinasIshouldsay，justoutofbed，andpresentlygoingbacktobed，takeouthispudding，stabhispudding，wipethedagger，andeathispuddingallup。Hewasamanwhosefigurepromisedcadaverousness，butwhohadanexcessivelyredface，thoughshapedlikeahorse’s。Onthesecondoccasionofmyseeinghim，hesaidhuskilytothemanofsleep，’AmIredto-night？’’Youare，’heuncompromisinglyanswered。’Mymother，’saidthespectre，’wasared-facedwomanthatlikeddrink，andIlookedatherhardwhenshelaidinhercoffin，andItookthecomplexion。’Somehow，thepuddingseemedanunwholesomepuddingafterthat，andIputmyselfinitswaynomore。
Whentherewasnomarket，orwhenIwantedvariety，arailwayterminuswiththemorningmailscomingin，wasremunerativecompany。Butlikemostofthecompanytobehadinthisworld，itlastedonlyaveryshorttime。Thestationlampswouldburstoutablaze，theporterswouldemergefromplacesofconcealment，thecabsandtruckswouldrattletotheirplacesthepost-officecartswerealreadyintheirs，and，finally，thebellwouldstrikeup，andthetrainwouldcomebangingin。Buttherewerefewpassengersandlittleluggage，andeverythingscuttledawaywiththegreatestexpedition。Thelocomotivepost-offices，withtheirgreatnets-
asiftheyhadbeendraggingthecountryforbodies-wouldflyopenastotheirdoors，andwoulddisgorgeasmelloflamp，anexhaustedclerk，aguardinaredcoat，andtheirbagsofletters；
theenginewouldblowandheaveandperspire，likeanenginewipingitsforeheadandsayingwhatarunithadhad；andwithintenminutesthelampswereout，andIwashouselessandaloneagain。
Butnow，thereweredrivencattleonthehighroadnear，wantingascattlealwaysdototurnintothemidstofstonewalls，andsqueezethemselvesthroughsixinches’widthofironrailing，andgettingtheirheadsdownalsoascattlealwaysdofortossing-
purchaseatquiteimaginarydogs，andgivingthemselvesandeverydevotedcreatureassociatedwiththemamostextraordinaryamountofunnecessarytrouble。Now，too，theconsciousgasbegantogrowpalewiththeknowledgethatdaylightwascoming，andstragglingworkpeoplewerealreadyinthestreets，and，aswakinglifehadbecomeextinguishedwiththelastpieman’ssparks，soitbegantoberekindledwiththefiresofthefirststreet-cornerbreakfast-
sellers。Andsobyfasterandfasterdegrees，untilthelastdegreeswereveryfast，thedaycame，andIwastiredandcouldsleep。Anditisnot，asIusedtothink，goinghomeatsuchtimes，theleastwonderfulthinginLondon，thatintherealdesertregionofthenight，thehouselesswandererisalonethere。IknewwellenoughwheretofindViceandMisfortuneofallkinds，ifI
hadchosen；buttheywereputoutofsight，andmyhouselessnesshadmanymilesuponmilesofstreetsinwhichitcould，anddid，haveitsownsolitaryway。
HavingoccasiontotransactsomebusinesswithasolicitorwhooccupiesahighlysuicidalsetofchambersinGray’sInn，I
afterwardstookaturninthelargesquareofthatstrongholdofMelancholy，reviewing，withcongenialsurroundings，myexperiencesofChambers。
Ibegan，aswasnatural，withtheChambersIhadjustleft。Theywereanuppersetonarottenstaircase，withamysteriousbunkorbulkheadonthelandingoutsidethem，ofarathernauticalandScrewCollier-likeappearancethanotherwise，andpaintedanintenseblack。ManydustyyearshavepassedsincetheappropriationofthisDavyJones’slockertoanypurpose，andduringthewholeperiodwithinthememoryoflivingman，ithasbeenhaspedandpadlocked。Icannotquitesatisfymymindwhetheritwasoriginallymeantforthereceptionofcoals，orbodies，orasaplaceoftemporarysecurityfortheplunder’looted’bylaundresses；butIinclinetothelastopinion。Itisaboutbreasthigh，andusuallyservesasabulkfordefendantsinreducedcircumstancestoleanagainstandponderat，whentheycomeonthehopefulerrandoftryingtomakeanarrangementwithoutmoney-
underwhichauspiciouscircumstancesitmostlyhappensthatthelegalgentlemantheywanttosee，ismuchengaged，andtheypervadethestaircaseforaconsiderableperiod。Againstthisopposingbulk，intheabsurdestmanner，thetomb-likeouterdoorofthesolicitor’schamberswhichisalsoofanintenseblackstandsindarkambush，halfopen，andhalfshut，allday。Thesolicitor’sapartmentsarethreeinnumber；consistingofaslice，acell，andawedge。Thesliceisassignedtothetwoclerks，thecellisoccupiedbytheprincipal，andthewedgeisdevotedtostraypapers，oldgamebasketsfromthecountry，awashing-stand，andamodelofapatentShip’sCaboosewhichwasexhibitedinChanceryatthecommencementofthepresentcenturyonanapplicationforaninjunctiontorestraininfringement。Atabouthalf-pastnineoneveryweek-daymorning，theyoungerofthetwoclerkswho，Ihavereasontobelieve，leadsthefashionatPentonvilleinthearticlesofpipesandshirtsmaybefoundknockingthedustoutofhisofficialdoor-keyonthebunkorlockerbeforementioned；andsoexceedinglysubjecttodustishiskey，andsoveryretentiveofthatsuperfluity，thatinexceptionalsummerweatherwhenarayofsunlighthasfallenonthelockerinmypresence，IhavenoticeditsinexpressivecountenancetobedeeplymarkedbyakindofBramaherysipelasorsmall-pox。
ThissetofchambersasIhavegraduallydiscovered，whenIhavehadrestlessoccasiontomakeinquiriesorleavemessages，afterofficehoursisunderthechargeofaladynamedSweeney，infigureextremelylikeanoldfamily-umbrella:whosedwellingconfrontsadeadwallinacourtoffGray’sInn-lane，andwhoisusuallyfetchedintothepassageofthatbower，whenwanted，fromsomeneighbouringhomeofindustry，whichhasthecuriouspropertyofimpartinganinflammatoryappearancetohervisage。Mrs。
Sweeneyisoneoftheraceofprofessedlaundresses，andisthecompilerofaremarkablemanuscriptvolumeentitled’Mrs。Sweeney’sBook，’fromwhichmuchcuriousstatisticalinformationmaybegatheredrespectingthehighpricesandsmallusesofsoda，soap，sand，firewood，andothersucharticles。Ihavecreatedalegendinmymind-andconsequentlyIbelieveitwiththeutmostpertinacity-thatthelateMr。Sweeneywasaticket-porterundertheHonourableSocietyofGray’sInn，andthat，inconsiderationofhislongandvaluableservices，Mrs。Sweeneywasappointedtoherpresentpost。For，thoughdevoidofpersonalcharms，Ihaveobservedthisladytoexerciseafascinationovertheelderlyticker-portermindparticularlyunderthegateway，andincornersandentries，whichIcanonlyrefertoherbeingoneofthefraternity，yetnotcompetingwithit。Allthatneedbesaidconcerningthissetofchambers，issaid，whenIhaveaddedthatitisinalargedoublehouseinGray’sInn-square，verymuchoutofrepair，andthattheouterportalisornamentedinahideousmannerwithcertainstoneremains，whichhavetheappearanceofthedismemberedbust，torso，andlimbsofapetrifiedbencher。
Indeed，IlookuponGray’sInngenerallyasoneofthemostdepressinginstitutionsinbrickandmortar，knowntothechildrenofmen。CananythingbemoredrearythanitsaridSquare，SaharaDesertofthelaw，withtheuglyoldtiled-toppedtenements，thedirtywindows，thebillsToLet，ToLet，thedoor-postsinscribedlikegravestones，thecrazygatewaygivinguponthefilthyLane，thescowling，iron-barredprison-likepassageintoVerulam-
buildings，themouldyred-nosedticket-porterswithlittlecoffinplates，andwhywithaprons，thedry，hard，atomy-likeappearanceofthewholedust-heap？Whenmyuncommercialtravelstendtothisdismalspot，mycomfortisitsricketystate。Imaginationgloatsoverthefulnessoftimewhenthestaircasesshallhavequitetumbleddown-theyaredailywearingintoanill-savouredpowder，buthavenotquitetumbleddownyet-whenthelastoldprolixbencheralloftheoldentime，shallhavebeengotoutofanupperwindowbymeansofaFireLadder，andcarriedofftotheHolbornUnion；whenthelastclerkshallhaveengrossedthelastparchmentbehindthelastsplashonthelastofthemud-stainedwindows，which，allthroughthemiryyear，arepilloriedoutofrecognitioninGray’sInn-lane。Then，shallasqualidlittletrench，withrankgrassandapumpinit，lyingbetweenthecoffee-houseandSouth-
square，bewhollygivenuptocatsandrats，andnot，asnow，haveitsempiredividedbetweenthoseanimalsandafewbrieflessbipeds-surelycalledtotheBarbyvoicesofdeceivingspirits，seeingthattheyarewantedtherebynomortal-whoglancedown，witheyesbetterglazedthantheircasements，fromtheirdrearyandlacklustrerooms。ThenshallthewayNor’Westward，nowlyingunderashortgrimcolonnadewhereinsummer-timepouncefliesfromlaw-stationeringwindowsintotheeyesoflaymen，bechokedwithrubbishandhappilybecomeimpassable。Thenshallthegardenswhereturf，trees，andgravelwearalegalliveryofblack，runrank，andpilgrimsgotoGorhamburytoseeBacon’seffigyashesat，andnotcomeherewhichintruththeyseldomdotoseewherehewalked。Then，inaword，shalltheold-establishedvendorofperiodicalssitaloneinhislittlecribofashopbehindtheHolbornGate，likethatlumberingMariusamongtheruinsofCarthage，whohassatheavyonathousandmillionofsimiles。
AtoneperiodofmyuncommercialcareerImuchfrequentedanothersetofchambersinGray’sInn-square。Theywerewhatisfamiliarlycalled’atopset，’andalltheeatablesanddrinkablesintroducedintothemacquiredaflavourofCockloft。IhaveknownanunopenedStrasbourgpatefreshfromFortnumandMason’s，todrawinthiscocklofttonethroughitscrockerydish，andbecomepenetratedwithcocklofttothecoreofitsinmosttruffleinthree-quartersofanhour。This，however，wasnotthemostcuriousfeatureofthosechambers；that，consistedintheprofoundconvictionentertainedbymyesteemedfriendParkletheirtenantthattheywereclean。
Whetheritwasaninbornhallucination，orwhetheritwasimpartedtohimbyMrs。Miggotthelaundress，Inevercouldascertain。But，Ibelievehewouldhavegonetothestakeuponthequestion。Now，theyweresodirtythatIcouldtakeoffthedistinctestimpressionofmyfigureonanyarticleoffurniturebymerelylounginguponitforafewmoments；anditusedtobeaprivateamusementofminetoprintmyselfoff-ifImayusetheexpression-allovertherooms。ItwasthefirstlargecirculationIhad。AtothertimesI
haveaccidentallyshakenawindowcurtainwhileinanimatedconversationwithParkle，andstrugglinginsectswhichwerecertainlyred，andwerecertainlynotladybirds，havedroppedonthebackofmyhand。YetParklelivedinthattopsetyears，boundbodyandsoultothesuperstitionthattheywereclean。Heusedtosay，whencongratulateduponthem，’Well，theyarenotlikechambersinonerespect，youknow；theyareclean。’Concurrently，hehadanideawhichhecouldneverexplain，thatMrs。MiggotwasinsomewayconnectedwiththeChurch。Whenhewasinparticularlygoodspirits，heusedtobelievethatadeceaseduncleofhershadbeenaDean；whenhewaspoorlyandlow，hebelievedthatherbrotherhadbeenaCurate。IandMrs。Miggotshewasagenteelwomanwereonconfidentialterms，butIneverknewhertocommitherselftoanydistinctassertiononthesubject；shemerelyclaimedaproprietorshipintheChurch，bylookingwhenitwasmentioned，asifthereferenceawakenedtheslumberingPast，andwerepersonal。ItmayhavebeenhisamiableconfidenceinMrs。