Anotherclassoftrampisaman，themostvaluablepartofwhosestock-in-tradeisahighlyperplexeddemeanour。Heisgotuplikeacountryman，andyouwilloftencomeuponthepoorfellow，whileheisendeavouringtodeciphertheinscriptiononamilestone-
quiteafruitlessendeavour，forhecannotread。Heasksyourpardon，hetrulydoesheisveryslowofspeech，thistramp，andhelooksinabewilderedwayallroundtheprospectwhilehetalkstoyou，butallofussholddoaswewoldbedoneby，andhe’lltakeitkind，ifyou’llputapowermanintherightroadfurtojinehiseldestsonashasbrokehislegbadinthemasoning，andisinthisheereOrspit’lasiswrotedownbySquirePouncerby’sownhandaswoldnottellaliefurnoman。Hethenproducesfromunderhisdarkfrockbeingalwaysveryslowandperplexedaneatbutwornoldleathernpurse，fromwhichhetakesascrapofpaper。
Onthisscrapofpaperiswritten，bySquirePouncerby，ofTheGrove，’PleasetodirecttheBearer，apoorbutveryworthyman，totheSussexCountyHospital，nearBrighton’-amatterofsomedifficultyatthemoment，seeingthattherequestcomessuddenlyuponyouinthedepthsofHertfordshire。ThemoreyouendeavourtoindicatewhereBrightonis-whenyouhavewiththegreatestdifficultyremembered-thelessthedevotedfathercanbemadetocomprehend，andthemoreobtuselyhestaresattheprospect；
whereby，beingreducedtoextremity，yourecommendthefaithfulparenttobeginbygoingtoSt。Albans，andpresenthimwithhalf-
a-crown。Itdoeshimgood，nodoubt，butscarcelyhelpshimforward，sinceyoufindhimlyingdrunkthatsameeveninginthewheelwright’ssawpitundertheshedwherethefelledtreesare，oppositethesignoftheThreeJollyHedgers。
But，themostvicious，byfar，ofalltheidletramps，isthetrampwhopretendstohavebeenagentleman。’Educated，’hewrites，fromthevillagebeer-shopinpaleinkofaferruginouscomplexion；
’educatedatTrin。Coll。Cam-nursedinthelapofaffluence-
onceinmysmallwaythepattronoftheMuses，’&c。&c。&c-
surelyasympatheticmindwillnotwithholdatrifle，tohelphimontothemarket-townwherehethinksofgivingaLecturetotheFRUGESCONSUMERENATI，onthingsingeneral？Thisshamefulcreaturelollingabouthedgetap-roomsinhisraggedclothes，nowsofarfrombeingblackthattheylookasiftheynevercanhavebeenblack，ismoreselfishandinsolentthaneventhesavagetramp。Hewouldspongeonthepoorestboyforafarthing，andspurnhimwhenhehadgotit；hewouldinterposeifhecouldgetanythingbyitbetweenthebabyandthemother’sbreast。Somuchlowerthanthecompanyhekeeps，forhismaudlinassumptionofbeinghigher，thispitilessrascalblightsthesummerroadashemaundersonbetweentheluxurianthedges；wheretomythinking
eventhewildconvolvulusandroseandsweet-briar，aretheworseforhisgoingby，andneedtimetorecoverfromthetaintofhimintheair。
Theyoungfellowswhotrudgealongbarefoot，fiveorsixtogether，theirbootsslungovertheirshoulders，theirshabbybundlesundertheirarms，theirsticksnewlycutfromsomeroadsidewood，arenoteminentlyprepossessing，butaremuchlessobjectionable。Thereisatramp-fellowshipamongthem。Theypickoneanotherupatrestingstations，andgoonincompanies。Theyalwaysgoatafastswing-
thoughtheygenerallylimptoo-andthereisinvariablyoneofthecompanywhohasmuchadotokeepupwiththerest。Theygenerallytalkabouthorses，andanyothermeansoflocomotionthanwalking:
or，oneofthecompanyrelatessomerecentexperiencesoftheroad-whicharealwaysdisputesanddifficulties。Asforexample。’SoasI’mastandingatthepumpinthemarket，blestiftheredon’tcomeupaBeadle，andheses，“Mustn’tstandhere，“heses。“Whynot？“Ises。“Nobeggarsallowedinthistown，“heses。“Who’sabeggar？“Ises。“Youare，“heses。“WhoeverseeMEbeg？DidYOU？“Ises。“Thenyou’reatramp，“heses。“I’dratherbethatthanaBeadle，“Ises。’Thecompanyexpressgreatapproval。
’“Wouldyou？“hesestome。“Yes，Iwould，“Isestohim。“Well，“
heses，“anyhow，getoutofthistown。““Why，blowyourlittletown！“Ises，“whowantstobeinit？Wotdoesyourdirtylittletownmeanbycomin’andstickin’itselfintheroadtoanywhere？
Whydon’tyougetashovelandabarrer，andclearyourtownouto’
people’sway？“’Thecompanyexpressingthehighestapprovalandlaughingaloud，theyallgodownthehill。
Then，therearethetramphandicraftmen。AretheynotalloverEngland，inthisMidsummertime？Wheredoesthelarksing，thecorngrow，themillturn，theriverrun，andtheyarenotamongthelightsandshadows，tinkering，chair-mending，umbrella-mending，clock-mending，knife-grinding？Surely，apleasantthing，ifwewereinthatconditionoflife，togrindourwaythroughKent，Sussex，andSurrey。Fortheworstsixweeksorso，weshouldseethesparkswegroundoff，fierybrightagainstabackgroundofgreenwheatandgreenleaves。Alittlelater，andtheripeharvestwouldpaleoursparksfromredtoyellow，untilwegotthedarknewly-turnedlandforabackgroundagain，andtheywereredoncemore。Bythattime，weshouldhavegroundourwaytotheseacliffs，andthewhirrofourwheelwouldbelostinthebreakingofthewaves。Ournextvarietyinsparkswouldbederivedfromcontrastwiththegorgeousmedleyofcoloursintheautumnwoods，and，bythetimewehadgroundourwayroundtotheheathylandsbetweenReigateandCroydon，doingaprosperousstrokeofbusinessallalong，weshouldshowlikealittlefireworkinthelightfrostyair，andbethenextbestthingtotheblacksmith’sforge。
Veryagreeable，too，togoonachair-mendingtour。Whatjudgesweshouldbeofrushes，andhowknowinglywithasheafandabottomlesschairatourbackweshouldloungeonbridges，lookingoveratosier-beds！Amongalltheinnumerableoccupationsthatcannotpossiblybetransactedwithouttheassistanceoflookers-on，chair-mendingmaytakeastationinthefirstrank。Whenwesatdownwithourbacksagainstthebarnorthepublic-house，andbegantomend，whatasenseofpopularitywouldgrowuponus！Whenallthechildrencametolookatus，andthetailor，andthegeneraldealer，andthefarmerwhohadbeengivingasmallorderatthelittlesaddler’s，andthegroomfromthegreathouse，andthepublican，andeventhetwoskittle-playersandherenotethat，howsoeverbusyalltherestofvillagehuman-kindmaybe，therewillalwaysbetwopeoplewithleisuretoplayatskittles，wherevervillageskittlesare，whatencouragementwouldbeonustoplaitandweave！Noonelooksatuswhileweplaitandweavethesewords。Clock-mendingagain。Exceptfortheslightinconvenienceofcarryingaclockunderourarm，andthemonotonyofmakingthebellgo，wheneverwecametoahumanhabitation，whatapleasantprivilegetogiveavoicetothedumbcottage-clock，andsetittalkingtothecottagefamilyagain！Likewiseweforeseegreatinterestingoingroundbytheparkplantations，undertheoverhangingboughshares，rabbits，partridges，andpheasants，scuddinglikemadacrossandacrossthechequeredgroundbeforeus，andsoovertheparkladder，andthroughthewood，untilwecametotheKeeper’slodge。Then，would，theKeeperbediscoverableathisdoor，inadeepnestofleaves，smokinghispipe。Then，onouraccostinghiminthewayofourtrade，wouldhecalltoMrs。Keeper，respecting’t’ouldclock’inthekitchen。
Then，wouldMrs。Keeperaskusintothelodge，andondueexaminationweshouldoffertomakeagoodjobofitforeighteenpence；whichoffer，beingaccepted，wouldsetustinklingandclinkingamongthechubby，awe-strucklittleKeepersforanhourandmore。Socompletelytothefamily’ssatisfactionwouldweachieveourwork，thattheKeeperwouldmentionhowthattherewassomethingwrongwiththebelloftheturretstable-clockupattheHall，andthatifwethoughtgoodofgoinguptothehousekeeperonthechanceofthatjobtoo，whyhewouldtakeus。Then，shouldwego，amongthebranchingoaksandthedeepfern，bysilentwaysofmysteryknowntotheKeeper，seeingtheherdglancinghereandthereaswewentalong，untilwecametotheoldHall，solemnandgrand。UndertheTerraceFlowerGarden，androundbythestables，wouldtheKeepertakeusin，andaswepassedweshouldobservehowspaciousandstatelythestables，andhowfinethepaintingofthehorses’namesovertheirstalls，andhowsolitaryall:thefamilybeinginLondon。Then，shouldwefindourselvespresentedtothehousekeeper，sitting，inhushedstate，atneedlework，inabay-
windowlookingoutuponamightygrimred-brickquadrangle，guardedbystonelionsdisrespectfullythrowingsomersaultsovertheescutcheonsofthenoblefamily。Then，ourservicesacceptedandweinsinuatedwithacandleintothestable-turret，weshouldfindittobeamerequestionofpendulum，butonethatwouldholdusuntildark。Then，shouldwefalltowork，withageneralimpressionofGhostsbeingabout，andofpicturesindoorsthatofacertaintycameoutoftheirframesand’walked，’ifthefamilywouldonlyownit。Then，shouldweworkandwork，untilthedaygraduallyturnedtodusk，andevenuntiltheduskgraduallyturnedtodark。Ourtaskatlengthaccomplished，weshouldbetakenintoanenormousservants’hall，andthereregaledwithbeefandbread，andpowerfulale。Then，paidfreely，weshouldbeatlibertytogo，andshouldbetoldbyapointinghelpertokeeproundoveryinderbytheblastedash，andsostraightthroughthewoods，tillweshouldseethetown-lightsrightaforeus。Then，feelinglonesome，shouldwedesireuponthewhole，thattheashhadnotbeenblasted，orthatthehelperhadhadthemannersnottomentionit。However，weshouldkeepon，allright，tillsuddenlythestablebellwouldstriketeninthedolefullestway，quitechillingourblood，thoughwehadsolatelytaughthimhowtoacquithimself。Then，aswewenton，shouldwerecalloldstories，anddimlyconsiderwhatitwouldbemostadvisabletodo，intheeventofatallfigure，allinwhite，withsaucereyes，comingupandsaying，’Iwantyoutocometoachurchyardandmendachurchclock。Followme！’Then，shouldwemakeabursttogetclearofthetrees，andshouldsoonfindourselvesintheopen，withthetown-lightsbrightaheadofus。SoshouldweliethatnightattheancientsignoftheCrispinandCrispanus，andriseearlynextmorningtobebetimesontrampagain。
Bricklayersoftentramp，intwosandthrees，lyingbynightattheir’lodges，’whicharescatteredalloverthecountry。
Bricklayingisanotheroftheoccupationsthatcanbynomeansbetransactedinruralparts，withouttheassistanceofspectators-
ofasmanyascanbeconvened。Inthinly-peopledspots，Ihaveknownbrick-layersontramp，comingupwithbricklayersatwork，tobesosensibleoftheindispensabilityoflookers-on，thattheythemselveshavesatupinthatcapacity，andhavebeenunabletosubsideintotheacceptanceofaprofferedshareinthejob，fortwoorthreedaystogether。Sometimes，the’navvy，’ontramp，withanextrapairofhalf-bootsoverhisshoulder，abag，abottle，andacan，willtakeasimilarpartinajobofexcavation，andwilllookatitwithoutengaginginit，untilallhismoneyisgone。
Thecurrentofmyuncommercialpursuitscausedmeonlylastsummertowantalittlebodyofworkmenforacertainspellofworkinapleasantpartofthecountry；andIwasatonetimehonouredwiththeattendanceofasmanyasseven-and-twenty，whowerelookingatsix。