第4章
加入书架 A- A+
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  hadmadesuchanimpressionuponme,thatIdidnotwantnow

  tobeagentlewoman,butwasverywillingtobeaservant,and

  thatanykindofservanttheythoughtfittohavemebe。

  Butmynewgenerousmistress,forsheexceededthegood

  womanIwaswithbefore,ineverything,aswellasinthe

  matterofestate;Isay,ineverythingexcepthonesty;andfor

  that,thoughthiswasaladymostexactlyjust,yetImustnot

  forgettosayonalloccasions,thatthefirst,thoughpoor,was

  asuprightlyhonestasitwaspossibleforanyonetobe。

  Iwasnosoonercarriedaway,asIhavesaid,bythisgood

  gentlewoman,butthefirstlady,thatistosay,theMayoress

  thatwas,senthertwodaughterstotakecareofme;andanother

  familywhichhadtakennoticeofmewhenIwasthelittle

  gentlewoman,andhadgivenmeworktodo,sentformeafter

  her,sothatIwasmightilymadeof,aswesay;nay,andthey

  werenotalittleangry,especiallymadamtheMayoress,that

  herfriendhadtakenmeawayfromher,asshecalledit;for,

  asshesaid,Iwashersbyright,shehavingbeenthefirstthat

  tookanynoticeofme。

  Buttheythathadmewouldnotpart

  withme;andasforme,thoughIshouldhavebeenverywell

  treatedwithanyoftheothers,yetIcouldnotbebetterthan

  whereIwas。

  HereIcontinuedtillIwasbetweenseventeenandeighteen

  yearsold,andhereIhadalltheadvantagesformyeducation

  thatcouldbeimagined;theladyhadmastershometothe

  housetoteachherdaughterstodance,andtospeakFrench,

  andtowrite,andothertoteachthemmusic;andIwasalways

  withthem,Ilearnedasfastasthey;andthoughthemasters

  werenotappointedtoteachme,yetIlearnedbyimitationand

  inquiryallthattheylearnedbyinstructionanddirection;so

  that,inshort,IlearnedtodanceandspeakFrenchaswellas

  anyofthem,andtosingmuchbetter,forIhadabettervoice

  thananyofthem。

  Icouldnotsoreadilycomeatplayingon

  theharpsichordorspinet,becauseIhadnoinstrumentofmy

  owntopracticeon,andcouldonlycomeattheirsintheintervals

  whentheyleftit,whichwasuncertain;butyetIlearnedtolerably

  welltoo,andtheyoungladiesatlengthgottwoinstruments,

  thatistosay,aharpsichordandaspinettoo,andthenthey

  taughtmethemselves。

  Butastodancing,theycouldhardly

  helpmylearningcountry-dances,becausetheyalwayswanted

  metomakeupevennumber;and,ontheotherhand,theywere

  asheartilywillingtolearnmeeverythingthattheyhadbeen

  taughtthemselves,asIcouldbetotakethelearning。

  BythismeansIhad,asIhavesaidabove,alltheadvantages

  ofeducationthatIcouldhavehadifIhadbeenasmucha

  gentlewomanastheywerewithwhomIlived;andinsome

  thingsIhadtheadvantageofmyladies,thoughtheyweremy

  superiors;buttheywereallthegiftsofnature,andwhichall

  theirfortunescouldnotfurnish。

  First,Iwasapparently

  handsomerthananyofthem;secondly,Iwasbettershaped;

  and,thirdly,Isangbetter,bywhichImeanIhadabettervoice;

  inallwhichyouwill,Ihope,allowmetosay,Idonotspeak

  myownconceitofmyself,buttheopinionofallthatknew

  thefamily。

  Ihadwithallthesethecommonvanityofmysex,viz。that

  beingreallytakenforveryhandsome,or,ifyouplease,fora

  greatbeauty,Iverywellknewit,andhadasgoodanopinion

  ofmyselfasanybodyelsecouldhaveofme;andparticularly

  Ilovedtohearanybodyspeakofit,whichcouldnotbuthappen

  tomesometimes,andwasagreatsatisfactiontome。

  ThusfarIhavehadasmoothstorytotellofmyself,andinall

  thispartofmylifeInotonlyhadthereputationoflivingina

  verygoodfamily,andafamilynotedandrespectedeverywhere

  forvirtueandsobriety,andforeveryvaluablething;butIhad

  thecharactertooofaverysober,modest,andvirtuousyoung

  woman,andsuchIhadalwaysbeen;neitherhadIyetany

  occasiontothinkofanythingelse,ortoknowwhatatemptation

  towickednessmeant。

  ButthatwhichIwastoovainofwasmyruin,orrathermy

  vanitywasthecauseofit。

  TheladyinthehousewhereIwas

  hadtwosons,younggentlemenofverypromisingpartsand

  ofextraordinarybehaviour,anditwasmymisfortunetobe

  verywellwiththemboth,buttheymanagedthemselveswith

  meinaquitedifferentmanner。

  Theeldest,agaygentlemanthatknewthetownaswellasthe

  country,andthoughhehadlevityenoughtodoanill-natured

  thing,yethadtoomuchjudgmentofthingstopaytoodear

  forhispleasures;hebeganwiththeunhappysnaretoall

  women,viz。takingnoticeuponalloccasionshowprettyIwas,

  ashecalledit,howagreeable,howwell-carriaged,andthe

  like;andthishecontrivedsosubtly,asifhehadknownas

  wellhowtocatchawomaninhisnetasapartridgewhenhe

  wenta-setting;forhewouldcontrivetobetalkingthistohis

  sisterswhen,thoughIwasnotby,yetwhenheknewIwas

  notfaroffbutthatIshouldbesuretohearhim。

  Hissisters

  wouldreturnsoftlytohim,’Hush,brother,shewillhearyou;

  sheisbutinthenextroom。’

  Thenhewouldputitoffandtalk

  softlier,asifhehadnotknowit,andbegintoacknowledgehe

  waswrong;andthen,asifhehadforgothimself,hewould

  speakaloudagain,andI,thatwassowellpleasedtohearit,

  wassuretolistenforituponalloccasions。

  Afterhehadthusbaitedhishook,andfoundeasilyenough

  themethodhowtolayitinmyway,heplayedanopenergame;

  andoneday,goingbyhissister’schamberwhenIwasthere,

  doingsomethingaboutdressingher,hecomesinwithanair

  ofgaiety。

  ’Oh,Mrs。Betty,’saidhetome,’howdoyoudo,

  Mrs。Betty?

  Don’tyourcheeksburn,Mrs。Betty?’

  Imadea

  curtsyandblushed,butsaidnothing。

  ’Whatmakesyoutalkso,

  brother?’saysthelady。

  ’Why,’sayshe,’wehavebeentalking

  ofherbelow-stairsthishalf-hour。’

  ’Well,’sayshissister,

  ’youcansaynoharmofher,thatIamsure,so’tisnomatter

  whatyouhavebeentalkingabout。’’Nay,’sayshe,’’tissofar

  fromtalkingharmofher,thatwehavebeentalkingagreat

  dealofgood,andagreatmanyfinethingshavebeensaidof

  Mrs。Betty,Iassureyou;andparticularly,thatsheisthe

  handsomestyoungwomaninColchester;and,inshort,they

  begintotoastherhealthinthetown。’

  ’Iwonderatyou,brother,’saysthesister。

  Bettywantsbutone

  thing,butshehadasgoodwanteverything,forthemarketis

  againstoursexjustnow;andifayoungwomanhavebeauty,

  birth,breeding,wit,sense,manners,modesty,andalltheseto

  anextreme,yetifshehavenotmoney,she’snobody,shehad

  asgoodwantthemallfornothingbutmoneynowrecommends

  awoman;themenplaythegameallintotheirownhands。’

  Heryoungerbrother,whowasby,cried,’Hold,sister,yourun

  toofast;Iamanexceptiontoyourrule。

  Iassureyou,ifIfind

  awomansoaccomplishedasyoutalkof,Isay,Iassureyou,I

  wouldnottroublemyselfaboutthemoney。’

  ’Oh,’saysthesister,’butyouwilltakecarenottofancyone,

  then,withoutthemoney。’

  ’Youdon’tknowthatneither,’saysthebrother。

  ’Butwhy,sister,’saystheelderbrother,’whydoyouexclaim

  soatthemenforaimingsomuchatthefortune?

  Youarenone

  ofthemthatwantafortune,whateverelseyouwant。’

  ’Iunderstandyou,brother,’repliestheladyverysmartly;’you

  supposeIhavethemoney,andwantthebeauty;butastimes

  gonow,thefirstwilldowithoutthelast,soIhavethebetter

  ofmyneighbours。’

  ’Well,’saystheyoungerbrother,’butyourneighbours,asyou

  callthem,maybeevenwithyou,forbeautywillstealahusband

  sometimesinspiteofmoney,andwhenthemaidchancestobe

  handsomerthanthemistress,sheoftentimesmakesasgooda

  market,andridesinacoachbeforeher。’

  Ithoughtitwastimeformetowithdrawandleavethem,and

  Ididso,butnotsofarbutthatIheardalltheirdiscourse,in

  whichIheardabundanceofthefinethingssaidofmyself,

  whichservedtopromptmyvanity,but,asIsoonfound,was

  notthewaytoincreasemyinterestinthefamily,forthesister

  andtheyoungerbrotherfellgrievouslyoutaboutit;andashe

  saidsomeverydisobligingthingstoheruponmyaccount,so

  Icouldeasilyseethatsheresentedthembyherfutureconduct

  tome,whichindeedwasveryunjusttome,forIhadnever

  hadtheleastthoughtofwhatshesuspectedastoheryounger

  brother;indeed,theelderbrother,inhisdistant,remoteway,

  hadsaidagreatmanythingsasinjest,whichIhadthefolly

  tobelievewereinearnest,ortoflattermyselfwiththehopes

  ofwhatIoughttohavesupposedheneverintended,and

  perhapsneverthoughtof。

  Ithappenedonedaythathecamerunningupstairs,towards

  theroomwherehissistersusedtositandwork,asheoften

  usedtodo;andcallingtothembeforehecamein,aswashis

  waytoo,I,beingtherealone,steppedtothedoor,andsaid,

  ’Sir,theladiesarenothere,theyarewalkeddownthegarden。’

  AsIsteppedforwardtosaythis,towardsthedoor,hewasjust

  gottothedoor,andclaspingmeinhisarms,asifithadbeen

  bychance,’Oh,Mrs。Betty,’sayshe,’areyouhere?

  That’s

  betterstill;IwanttospeakwithyoumorethanIdowiththem’;

  andthen,havingmeinhisarms,hekissedmethreeorfourtimes。

  Istruggledtogetaway,andyetdiditbutfaintlyneither,and

  heheldmefast,andstillkissedme,tillhewasalmostoutof

  breath,andthen,sittingdown,says,’DearBetty,Iaminlove

  withyou。’

  Hiswords,Imustconfess,firedmyblood;allmyspiritsflew

  aboutmyheartandputmeintodisorderenough,whichhe

  mighteasilyhaveseeninmyface。

  Herepeateditafterwards

  severaltimes,thathewasinlovewithme,andmyheartspoke

  asplainasavoice,thatIlikedit;nay,wheneverhesaid,’Iam

  inlovewithyou,’myblushesplainlyreplied,’Wouldyou

  were,sir。’

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