SquintinginmockshamesheglanceswithsidelongmeaningatBloom，thentwistsroundtowardshim，pullingherslipfreeofthepoker。Bluefluidagainflowsoverherflesh。Bloomstands，smilingdesirously，twirlinghisthumbs。KittyRickettslickshermiddlefingerwithherspittleandgazinginthemirror，smoothsbotheyebrows。LipotiVirag，basilicogrammate，chutesrapidlydownthroughthechimneyflueandstrutstwostepstotheleftongawkypinkstilts。Heissausagedintoseveralovercoatsandwearsabrownmacintoshunderwhichheholdsarollofparchment。InhislefteyeflashesthemonocleofCashelBoyleO’ConnorFitzmauriceTisdallFarrell。
OnhisheadisperchedanEgyptianpshent。Twoquillsprojectoverhisears。
VIRAGHeelstogetherbows。MynameisViragLipoti，ofSzombathely。
Hecoughsthoughtfully，drily。Promiscuousnakednessismuchinevidencehereabouts，eh？Inadvertentlyherbackviewrevealedthefactthatsheisnotwearingthoseratherintimategarmentsofwhichyouareaparticulardevotee。TheinjectionmarkonthethighIhopeyouperceived？Good。
BLOOMGranpapachi。But……
VIRAGNumbertwoontheotherhand，sheofthecherryrougeandcoiffeusewhite，whosehairowesnotalittletoourtribalelixirofgopherwood，isinwalkingcostumeandtightlystaysedbyhersit，Ishouldopine。Backboneinfront，sotosay。CorrectmebutIalwaysunderstoodthattheactsoperformedbyskittishhumanswithglimpsesoflingerieappealedtoyouinvirtueofitsexhibitionististicicity。Inaword。Hippogriff。AmIright？
BLOOMSheisratherlean。
VIRAGNotunpleasantly。Absolutely！Wellobservedandthosepannierpocketsoftheskirtandslightlypegtopeffectaredevisedtosuggestbunchinessofhip。Anewpurchaseatsomemonstersaleforwhichagullhasbeenmulcted。Meretriciousfinerytodeceivetheeye。Observetheattentiontodetailsofdustspecks。Neverputonyoutomorrowwhatyoucanweartoday。Parallax！Withanervoustwitchofhishead。
Didyouhearmybraingosnap？Pollysyllabax！
BLOOMAnelbowrestinginahand，aforefingeragainsthischeek。
Sheseemssad。
VIRAGCynically，hisweaselteethbaredyellow，drawsdownhislefteyewithafingerandbarkshoarsely。Hoax！Bewareoftheflapperandbogusmournful。Lilyofthealley。Allpossessbachelor’sbuttondiscoveredbyRualdusColombus。Tumbleher。Columbleher。Chameleon。Moregenially。
Wellthen，permitmetodrawyourattentiontoitemnumberthree。Thereisplentyofhervisibletothenakedeye。Observethemassofoxygenatedvegetablematteronherskull。Whatho，shebumps！Theuglyducklingoftheparty，longcastedanddeepinkeel。
BLOOMRegretfully。Whenyoucomeoutwithoutyourgun。
VIRAGWecandoyouallbrands，mild，mediumandstrong。Payyourmoney，takeyourchoice。Howhappycouldyoubewitheither……
BLOOMWith？……
VIRAGHistongueupcurling。Lyum！Look。Herbeamisbroad。
Sheiscoatedwithquiteaconsiderablelayeroffat。Obviouslymammalinweightofbosomyouremarkthatshehasinfrontwelltotheforetwoprotuberancesofveryrespectabledimensions，inclinedtofallinthenoondaysoupplate，whileonherrerelowerdownaretwoadditionalprotuberances，suggestiveofpotentrectumandtumescentforpalpationwhichleavenothingtobedesiredsavecompactness。Suchfleshypartsaretheproductofcarefulnurture。Whencoopfattenedtheirliversreachanelephantinesize。Pelletsofnewbreadwithfennygreekandgumbenjaminswampeddownbypotionsofgreenteaendowthemduringtheirbriefexistencewithnaturalpincushionsofquitecolossalblubber。Thatsuitsyourbook，eh？FleshhotpotsofEgypttohankerafter。Wallowinit。Lycopodium。Histhroattwitches。
Slapbang！Therehegoesagain。
BLOOMThestyeIdislike。
VIRAGArcheshiseyebrows。Contactwithagoldring，theysay。Argumentumadfeminam，aswesaidinoldRomeandancientGreeceintheconsulshipofDiplodocusandIchthyosaurus。FortherestEve’ssovereignremedy。Notforsale。Hireonly。Huguenot。Hetwitches。
Itisafunnysound。
Hecoughsencouragingly。Butpossiblyitisonlyawart。I
presumeyoushallhaverememberedwhatIwillhavetaughtyouonthathead？
Wheatenmealwithhoneyandnutmeg。
BLOOMReflecting。Wheatenmealwithlycopodiumandsyllabax。
Thissearchingordeal。Ithasbeenanunusuallyfatiguingday，achapterofaccidents。Wait。Imean，wartsbloodspreadswarts，yousaid。
VIRAGSeverely，hisnosehardhumped，hissideeyewinking。
Stoptwirlingyourthumbsandhaveagoodoldthunk。See，youhaveforgotten。
Exerciseyourmnemotechnic。Lacausaè；santa。Tara。Tara。
Aside。Hewillsurelyremember。
BLOOMRosemaryalsodidIunderstandyoutosayorwillpoweroverparasitictissues。ThennaynoIhaveaninkling。Thetouchofadeadhandcures。
Mnemo？
VIRAGExcitedly。Isayso。Isayso。E’enso。Technic。Hetapshisparchmentrollenergetically。Thisbooktellsyouhowtoactwithalldescriptiveparticulars。Consultindexforagitatedfearofaconite，melancholyofmuriatic，priapicpulsatilla。Viragisgoingtotalkaboutamputation。Ouroldfriendcaustic。Theymustbestarved。Snipoffwithhorsehairunderthedennedneck。But，tochangethevenuetotheBulgarandtheBasque，haveyoumadeupyourmindwhetheryoulikeordislikewomeninmalehabiliments？Withadrysnigger。Youintendedtodevoteanentireyeartothestudyofthereligiousproblemandthesummermonthsof1882tosquarethecircleandwinthatmillion。Pomegranate！
Fromthesublimetotheridiculousisbutastep。Pyjamas，letussay？
Orstockingettegussetedknickers，closed？Or，putwethecase，thosecomplicatedcombinations，camiknickers？Hecrowsderisively。Keekeereekee！
Bloomsurveysuncertainlythethreewhores，thengazesattheveiledmauvelight，hearingtheeverflyingmoth。
BLOOMIwantedthentohavenowconcluded。Nightdresswasnever。Hencethis。Buttomorrowisanewdaywillbe。Pastwasistoday。Whatnowiswillthentomorrowasnowwasbepastyester。
VIRAGPromptsintohisearinapig’swhisper。Insectsofthedayspendtheirbriefexistenceinreiteratedcoition，luredbythesmelloftheinferiorlypulchritudinousfemalepossessingextendifiedpudendalverveindorsalregion。PrettyPoll！Hisyellowparrotbeakgabblesnasally。TheyhadaproverbintheCarpathiansinorabouttheyearfivethousandfivehundredandfiftyofourera。OnetablespoonfulofhoneywillattractfriendBruinmorethanhalfadozenbarrelsoffirstchoicemaltvinegar。Bear’sbuzzbothersbees。Butofthisapart。Atanothertimewemayresume。Wewereverypleased，weothers。Hecoughsand，bendinghisbrow，rubshisnosethoughtfullywithascoopinghand。Youshallfindthatthesenightinsectsfollowthelight。Anillusionforremembertheircomplexunadjustableeye。ForalltheseknottypointsseetheseventeenthbookofmyFundamentalsofSexologyortheLovePassionwhichDoctorL。
B。saysisthebooksensationoftheyear。Some，toexample，thereareagainwhosemovementsareautomatic。Perceive。Thatishisappropriatesun。Nightbirdnightsunnighttown。Chaseme，Charley！Buzz！
BLOOMBeeorbluebottletoootherdaybuttingshadowonwalldazedselfthenmewandereddazeddownshirtgoodjobI……
VIRAGHisfaceimpassive，laughsinarichfemininekey。Splendid！
Spanishflyinhisflyormustardplasteronhisdibble。Hegobblesgluttonouslywithturkeywattles。Bubblyjock！Bubblyjock！Wherearewe？OpenSesame！Comethforth！Heunrollshisparchmentrapidlyandreads，hisglowworm’snoserunningbackwardsovertheletterswhichheclaws。Stay，goodfriend。IbringtheethyanswerRedbankoysterswillshortlybeuponus。I’mthebesto’cook。ThosesucculentbivalvesmayhelpusandthetrufflesofPerigord，tubersdislodgedthroughmisteromnivorousporker，wereunsurpassedincasesofnervousdebilityorviragitis。
Thoughtheystinkyettheysting。Hewagsheadwithcacklingraillery。
Jocular。Withmyeyeglassinmyocular。
BLOOMAbsently。Ocularlywoman’sbivalvecaseisworse。Alwaysopensesame。Theclovensex。Whytheyfearvermin，creepingthings。YetEveandtheserpentcontradict。Notahistoricalfact。Obviousanalogytomyidea。Serpentstooaregluttonsforwoman’smilk。Windtheirwaythroughmilesofomnivorousforesttosucksucculentherbreastdry。LikethosebubblyjocularRomanmatronsonereadsofinElephantuliasis。
VIRAGHismouthprojectedinhardwrinkles，eyesstonilyforlornlyclosed，psalmsinoutlandishmonotone。Thatthecowswiththeirthosedistendeduddersthattheyhavebeentheknown……
BLOOMIamgoingtoscream。Ibegyourpardon。Ah？So。Herepeats。
Spontaneouslytoseekoutthesaurian’slairinordertoentrusttheirteatstohisavidsuction。Antmilksaphis。Profoundly。Instinctrulestheworld。Inlife。Indeath。
VIRAGHeadaskew，archeshisbackandhunchedwing-shoulders，peersatthemothoutofblearbulgedeyes，pointsahomingclawandcries。
Who’sGerGer？Who’sdearGerald？O，Imuchfearheshallbemostbadlyburned。Willsomepleashepershonnotnowimpedimentsocatastrophicsmitagitationoffirstclasstablenumpkin？Hemews。Lusspusspusspuss！Hesighs，drawsbackandstaressidewaysdownwithdroppingunderjaw。
Well，well。Hedothrestanon。I’matinytinythingEverflyinginthespringRoundandroundaringaring。
LongagoIwasaking，NowIdothiskindofthingOnthewing，onthewing！
Bing！Herushesagainstthemauveshadeflappingnoisily。Prettyprettyprettyprettyprettyprettypetticoats。
FromleftupperentrancewithtwoslidingstepsHenryFlowercomesforwardtoleftfrontcentre。Hewearsadarkmantleanddroopingplumedsombrero。HecarriesasilverstringedinlaiddulcimerandalongstemmedbambooJacobspipe，itsclaybowlfashionedasafemalehead。Hewearsdarkvelvethoseandsilverbuckledpumps。HehastheromanticSaviour’sfacewithflowinglocks，thinbeardandmoustache。HisspindlelegsandsparrowfeetarethoseofthetenorMario，princeofCandia。Hesettlesdownhisgofferedruffsandmoistenshislipswithapassageofhisamoroustongue。
HENRYInalowdulcetvoice，touchingthestringsofhisguitar。
Thereisaflowerthatbloometh。
Viragtruculent，hisjowlset，staresatthelamp。GraveBloomregardsZoe’sneck。Henrygallantturnswithpendentdewlaptothepiano。
STEPHENTohimself。Playwithyoureyesshut。Imitatepa。Fillingmybellywithhusksofswine。Toomuchofthis。Iwillariseandgotomy。Expectthisisthe。Steve，thouartinaparlousway。MustvisitoldDeasyortelegraph。Ourinterviewofthismorninghasleftonmeadeepimpression。Thoughourages。Willwritefullytomorrow。I’mpartiallydrunk，bytheway。Hetouchesthekeysagain。Minorchordcomesnow。
Yes。Notmuchhowever。
AlmidanoArtifoniholdsoutabatonrollofmusicwithvigorousmoustachework。
ARTIFONICirifletta。Leirovinatutto。
FLORRYSingussomething。Love’soldsweetsong。
STEPHENNovoice。Iamamostfinishedartist。Lynch，didIshowyoutheletteraboutthelute？
FLORRYSmirking。Thebirdthatcansingandwon’tsing。
TheSiamesetwins，PhilipDrunkandPhilipSobertwoOxforddonswithlawnmowers，appearinthewindowembrasure。BotharemaskedwithMatthewArnold’sface。
PHILIPSOBERTakeafool’sadvice。Allisnotwell。Workitoutwiththebuttendofapencil，likeagoodyoungidiot。Threepoundstwelveyougot，twonotes，onesovereign，twocrowns，ifyouthbutknew。Mooney’senville，Mooney’ssurmer，theMoira，Larchet’s，Hollesstreethospital，Burke’s。Eh？Iamwatchingyou。
PHILIPDRUNKImpatiently。Ah，bosh，man。Gotohell！Ipaidmyway。IfIcouldonlyfindoutaboutoctaves。Reduplicationofpersonality。
Whowasittoldmehisname？
Hislawnmowerbeginstopurr。Aha，yes。Zoemousasagapo。
HaveanotionIwasherebefore。WhenwasitnotAtkinsonhiscardIhavesomewhere？Macsomebody。UnmackIhaveit。Hetoldmeabout，holdon，Swinburne，wasit，no？
FLORRYAndthesong？
STEPHENSpiritiswillingbutthefleshisweak。
FLORRYAreyououtofMaynooth？You’relikesomeoneIknewonce。
STEPHENOutofitnow。Tohimself。Clever。
PHILIPDRUNKANDPHILIPSOBERTheirlawnmowerspurringwitharigadoonofgrasshalms。Cleverever。Outofit。Outofit。Bythebyhaveyouthebook，thething，theashplant？Yes，thereit，yes。Clevereveroutofitnow。
Keepincondition。Dolikeus。