ZOETherewasapriestdownheretwonightsagotodohisbitofbusinesswithhiscoatbuttonedup。Youneedn’ttrytohide，Isaystohim。Iknowyou’veaRomancollar。
VIRAGPerfectlylogicalfromhisstandpoint。Fallofman。Harshly，hispupilswaxing。Tohellwiththepope！Nothingnewunderthesun。
IamtheViragwhodisclosedthesexsecretsofmonksandmaidens。WhyIlefttheChurchofRome。ReadthePriest，theWomanandtheConfessional。
Penrose。FlippertyJippert。Hewriggles。Woman，undoingwithsweetpudorherbeltofrushrope，offersherallmoistyonitoman’slingam。Shorttimeaftermanpresentswomanwithpiecesofjunglemeat。Womanshowsjoyandcoversherselfwithfeatherskins。Manlovesheryonifiercelywithbiglingam，thestiffone。Hecries。Coactusvolui。Thengiddywomanwillrunabout。Strongmangraspswoman’swrist。Womansqueals，bites，spucks。Man，nowfierceangry，strikeswoman’sfatyadgana。Hechaseshistail。Piffpaff！Popo！Hestops，sneezes。Pchp！Heworrieshisbutt。Prrrrrht！
LYNCHIhopeyougavethegoodfatherapenance。Ninegloriasforshootingabishop。
ZOESpoutswalrussmokethroughhernostrils。Hecouldn’tgetaconnection。Only，youknow，sensation。Adryrush。
BLOOMPoorman！
ZOELightly。Onlyforwhathappenedhim。
BLOOMHow？
VIRAGAdiabolicrictusofblackluminositycontractinghisvisage，craneshisscraggyneckforward。Heliftsamooncalfnozzleandhowls。
VerfluchteGoim！Hehadafather，fortyfathers。Heneverexisted。
PigGod！Hehadtwoleftfeet。HewasJudasIacchias，aLibyaneunuch，thepope’sbastard。Heleansoutontorturedforepaws，elbowsbentrigid，hiseyeagonisinginhisflatskullneckandyelpsoverthemuteworld。Asonofawhore。Apocalypse。
KITTYAndMaryShortallthatwasinthelockwiththepoxshegotfromJimmyPidgeoninthebluecapshadachildoffhimthatcouldn’tswallowandwassmotheredwiththeconvulsionsinthemattressandweallsubscribedforthefuneral。
PHILIPDRUNKGravely。Quivousamisdanscettefichueposition，Philippe？
PHILIPSOBERGaily。C’é；taitlesacré；pigeon，Philippe。
Kittyunpinsherhatandsetsitdowncalmly，pattingherhennahair。Andaprettier，adaintierheadofwinsomecurlswasneverseenonawhoresshoulders。Lynchputsonherhat。Shewhipsitoff。
LYNCHLaughs。AndtosuchdelightshasMetchnikoffinoculatedanthropoidapes。
FLORRYNods。Locomotorataxy。
ZOEGaily。O，mydictionary。
LYNCHThreewisevirgins。
VIRAGAgueshaken，profuseyellowspawnfoamingoverhisbonyepilepticlips。Shesoldlovephiltres，whitewax，orangeflower。Panther，theRomancenturion，pollutedherwithhisgenitories。Hesticksoutaflickeringphosphorescentscorpiontongue，hishandonhisfork。Messiah！
Hebursthertympanum。Withgibberingbaboon’scrieshejerkshishipsinthecynicalspasm。Hik！Hek！Hak！Hok！Huk！Kok！Kuk！
BenJumboDollard，rubicund，musclebound，hairynostrilled，hugebearded，cabbageeared，shaggychested，shockmaned，fatpapped，standsforth，hisloinsandgenitalstightenedintoapairofblackbathingbagslops。
BENPOLLARDNakkeringcastanetbonesinhishugepaddedpaws，yodelsjoviallyinbasebarreltone。Whenloveabsorbsmyardentsoul。
Thevirgins，NurseCallanandNurseQuigley，burstthroughtheringkeepersandtheropesandmobhimwithopenarms。
THEVIRGINSGushingly。BigBen！BenMacChree！
AVOICEHoldthatfellowwiththebadbreeches。
BENDOLLARDSmiteshisthighinabundantlaughter。Holdhimnow。
HENRYCaressingonhisbreastaseveredfemalehead，murmurs。
Thineheart，minelove。Hepluckshislutestrings。WhenfirstIsaw。
VIRAGSloughinghisskins，hismultitudinousplumagemoulting。
Rats！Heyawns；showingacoalblackthroatandcloseshisjawsbyanupwardpushofhisparchmentroll。AfterhavingsaidwhichItookmydeparture。Farewell。Faretheewell。Dreck！
HenryFlowercombshismoustacheandbeardrapidlywithapocketcombandgivesacowslicktohishair。Steeredbyhisrapier，heglidestothedoorhiswildhadslungbehindhim。Viragreachesthedoorintwoungainlystilthops，histailcocked，anddeftlyclapssidewaysonthewallapusyellowflybill，buttingitwithhishead。
THEFLYBILLK。11。postnobills。Strictlyconfidential。DrHyFranks。
HENRYAllislostnow。
Viragunscrewshisheadinatriceandholdsitunderhisarm。
VIRAG’SHEADQuack！
Exeuntseverally。
STEPHENOverhisshouldertoZoe。Youwouldhavepreferredthefightingparsonwhofoundedtheprotestanterror。ButbewareAntisthenes，thedogsage，andthelastendofAnusHeresiarchus。Theagonyinthecloset。
LYNCHAlloneandthesameGodtoher。
STEPHENDevoutly。AndSovereignLordofallthings。
FLORRYToStephen。I’msureyouareaspoiledpriest。Oramonk。
LYNCHHeis。ACardinal’sson。
STEPHENCardinalsin。Monksofthescrew。
HisEminence，SimonStephenCardinalDedalus，PrimateofallIreland，appearsinthedoorway，dressedinredsoutane，sandalsandsocks。Sevendwarfsimianacolytes，alsoinred，cardinalsins，upholdhistrain，peepingunderit。Hewearsabatteredsilkhatsidewaysonhishead。Histhumbsarestuckinhisarmpitsandhispalmsoutspread。Roundhisneckhangsarosaryofcorksendingonhisbreastinacorkscrewcross。Releasinghisthumbs，heinvokesgracefromonhighwithlacewavegesturesandproclaimswithbloatedpomp。
THECARDINALConservioliescaptured。
HeliesinthelowestdungeonWithmanaclesandchainsaroundhislimbsWeighingupwardsofthreetons。Helooksatallforamoment，hisrighteyeclosedtight，hisleftcheekpuffedout。Then，unabletorepresshismerriment，herockstoandfro，adsakimbo，andsingswithbroadrollickinghumour。O，thepoorlittlefellowHi-hi-hi-hi-hislegstheywereyellowHewasplump，fatandheavyandbriskasasnakeButsomebloodysavageTograizehiswhitecabbageHemurderedNellFlaherty’sducklovingdrake。
Amultitudeofmidgesswarmsoverhisrobe。Hescratcheshimselfwithcrossedarmsathisribs，grimacing，andexclaims。I’msufferingtheagonyofthedamned。Bythehokyfiddle，thanksbetoJesusthosefunnylittlechapsarenotunanimous。Iftheywerethey’dwalkmeoffthefaceofthebloodyglobe。
Hisheadaslant，heblessescurtlywithforeandmiddlefingers，impartstheEasterkissanddoubleshufflesoffcomically，swayinghishatfromsidetoside，shrinkingquicklytothesizeofhistrainbearers。
Thedwarfacolytes，giggling，peeping，nudging，ogling，Easterkissing，zigzagbehindhim。Hisvoiceisheardmellowfromafar，merciful，male，melodious。Shallcarrymyhearttothee，Shallcarrymyhearttothee，AndthebreathofthebalmynightShallcarrymyhearttothee。
Thetrickdoorhandleturns。
THEDOORHANDLETheeee。
ZOEThedevilisinthatdoor。
Amaleformpassesdownthecreakingstaircaseandisheardtakingthewaterproofandhatfromtherack。Bloomstartsforwardinvoluntarilyand，halfclosingthedoorashepasses，takesthechocolatefromhispocketandoffersitnervouslytoZoe。
ZOESniffshishairbriskly。Hum。Thankyourmotherfortherabbits。I’mveryfondofwhatIlike。
BLOOMHearingamalevoiceintalkwiththewhoresonthedoorstep，prickshisears。Ifitwerehe？After？Orbecausenot？Orthedoubleevent？
ZOETearsopenthesilverfoil。Fingerswasmadebeforeforks。
Shebreaksoffandnibblesapiece，givesapiecetoKittyRickettsandthenturnskittenishlytoLynch。NoobjectiontoFrenchlozenges？
Henods。Shetauntshim。Haveitnoworwaittillyougetit？
Heopenshismouth，hisheadcocked。Shewhirlstheprizeinleftcircle。
Hisheadfollows。Shewhirlsitbackinrightcircle。Heeyesher。
Catch。
Shetossesapiece。Withanadroitsnaphecatchesitandbitesitthroughwithacrack。
KITTYChewing。TheengineerIwaswithatthebazaardoeshavelovelyones。Fullofthebestliqueurs。Andtheviceroywastherewithhislady。ThegaswehadontheToft’shobbyhorses。I’mgiddystill。
BLOOMInSvengali’sfurovercoat，withfoldedarmsandNapoleonicforelock，frownsinventriloquialexorcismwithpiercingeagleglancetowardsthedoor。Then，rigid，withleftfootadvanced，hemakesaswiftpasswithimpellingfingersandgivesthesignofpastmaster，drawinghisrightarmdownwardsfromhisleftshoulder。Go，go，go，Iconjureyou，whoeveryouare。
Amalecoughandtreadareheardpassingthroughthemistoutside。
Bloomsfeaturesrelax。Heplacesahandinhiswaistcoat，posingcalmly。
Zoeoffershimchocolate。
BLOOMSolemnly。Thanks。
ZOEDoasyou’rebid。Here。
Afirmheelclackingisheardonthestairs。
BLOOMTakesthechocolate。Aphrodisiac？ButIthoughtit。Vanillacalmsor？Mnemo。Confusedlightconfusesmemory。Redinfluenceslupus。
Coloursaffectwomen’scharacters，anytheyhave。Thisblackmakesmesad。
Eatandbemerryfortomorrow。Heeats。Influencetastetoo，mauve。
ButitissolongsinceI。Seemsnew。Aphro。Thatpriest。Mustcome。Betterlatethannever。TrytrufflesatAndrews。
Thedooropens。BellaCohen，amassivewhoremistressenters。Sheisdressedinathreequarterivorygown，fringedroundthehemwithtasselledselvedge，andcoolsherselfflirtingablackhornfanlikeMinnieHauckinCarmen。Onherlefthandareweddingandkeeperrings。Hereyesaredeeplycarboned。Shehasasproutingmoustache。Herolivefaceisheavy，slightlysweatedandfullnosed，withorangetaintednostrils。Shehaslacependantberyleardrops。
BELLAMyword！I’mallofamucksweat。
Sheglancesaroundheratthecouples。ThenhereyesrestonBloomwithhardinsistence。Herlacefanwinnowswindtowardsherheatedface，neckandembonpoint。Herfalconeyesglitter。
THEFANFlirtingquickly，thenslowly。Married，Isee。
BLOOMYes……Partly，Ihavemislaid。
THEFANHalfopening，thenclosing。Andthemissusismaster。
Petticoatgovernment。
BLOOMLooksdownwithasheepishgrin。Thatisso。
THEFANFoldingtogether，restsagainsthereardrop。Haveyouforgottenme？
BLOOMYes。No。
THEFANFoldedakimboagainstherwaist。Ismeherwasyoudreamedbefore？Wasthenshehimyouussinceknew？Amallthemandthesamenowwe？Bellaapproaches，gentlytappingwiththefan。
BLOOMWincing。Powerfulbeing。Inmyeyesreadthatslumberwhichwomenlove。
THEFANTapping。Wehavemet。Youaremine。Itisfate。
BLOOMCowed。Exuberantfemale。EnormouslyIdesiderateyourdomination。Iamexhausted，abandoned，nomoreyoung。Istand，sotospeak，withanunpostedletterbearingtheextraregulationfeebeforethetoolateboxofthegeneralpostofficeofhumanlife。Thedoorandwindowopenatarightanglecauseadraughtofthirtytwofeetpersecondaccordingtothelawoffallingbodies。Ihavefeltthisinstantatwingeofsciaticainmyleftglutearmuscle。Itrunsinourfamily。Poordearpapa，awidower，wasaregularbarometerfromit。Hebelievedinanimalheat。Askinoftabbylinedhiswinterwaistcoat。Neartheend，rememberingkingDavidandtheSunamite，hesharedhisbedwithAthos，faithfulafterdeath。A
dog’sspittle，asyouprobably……Hewinces。Ah！
RICHIEGOULDINGBagweighted，passesthedoor。Mockingiscatch。
BestvalueinDub。Fitforaprince’sliverandkidney。
THEFANTapping。Allthingsend。Bemine。Now。
BLOOMUndecided。Allnow？Ishouldnothavepartedwithmytalisman。Rain，exposureatdewfallonthesearocks，apeccadilloatmytimeoflife。Everyphenomenonhasanaturalcause。
THEFANPointsdownwardsslowly。Youmay。
BLOOMLooksdownwardsandperceivesherunfastenedbootlace。
Weareobserved。